Vault: We Share Our Meltdown Regrets

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault - We Share Our Meltdown Regrets

Episode Date: February 6, 2026
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Cast Featured: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and the Team
Main Theme: Reflecting on Moments of Overreacting, aka "Bitch Regret"

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Overview

In this candid and humorous episode, the cast dives into personal stories about their most memorable meltdowns and subsequent regrets—what they affectionately term "bitch regret." Through real-life anecdotes, the team explores the fine line between standing up for oneself and realizing (in hindsight) that maybe, just maybe, they took things a little too far. Listeners get insight into how the cast navigates these moments, the emotional aftermath, and how simple interactions sometimes spiral into full-on stories worth retelling.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What is "Bitch Regret"?

• The episode opens with a definition of "bitch regret," a term coined by cast member Katie Jo, describing moments when someone becomes upset or confrontational (“bitches”) only to later regret overreacting.
  • Notable quote:
    • [00:09] Kristin:

      “Where you bitched about something. And then in hindsight, you're like, well, maybe I overreacted just a little bit.”

2. Restaurant Run-In (Kristin & Katie Jo's Story)

• [00:36] - [04:50]
• Kristin recounts an experience she and her girlfriend, Katie Jo, had at a new restaurant:
  • The pair enters, finds no clear hostess stand or greeting, and gets a curt response when they finally stop an employee to ask about seating.
  • Katie Jo, frustrated by the rudeness, tells a bartender, “he just lost you a sale,” as they walk out and decide to dine elsewhere.
  • Moments later in the next-door restaurant, the original restaurant’s manager seeks them out, apologizes, and offers to "take care" of their dinner if they return.
  • The manager’s act of goodwill prompts Katie Jo to reflect that maybe she was a bit harsh—her "bitch regret" moment.
• Key insights:
  • Immediate emotional reactions can lead to actions that later feel disproportionate.
  • A good manager can turn a negative situation around and even regain lost customers.
  • Notable quote:
    • [04:51] Kristin (about Katie Jo):

      “She said, you know what? Maybe I was a little harsh... I think I got bitch regret.”

3. Passive Aggressive Bitch Regret at a Gas Station (Bert’s Story)

• [05:16] - [07:49]
• Bert describes a run-in at a gas station:
  • Frustrated by a man parking awkwardly, Bert feels "petty" and lets the door shut in the man’s face as he exits the store, rather than holding it open.
  • Realizes instantly that his negativity was unnecessary and regrets letting the situation dictate his attitude.
• Key insight:
  • Sometimes our environment or others’ carelessness affects us more than it should.
• Notable quote:
  • [07:48] Bert:

    “Immediate bitch regret. I'm like, why did I do that? Like, why did I be a jerk to that guy?”

4. Managerial Redemption / The Importance of Apology

• [07:57] - [08:02]
• Kristin emphasizes that while mistakes happen with employees, the manager's response is crucial. A direct apology can win back customers.
• Notable quote:
  • [08:02] Kristin:

    “Employees can screw up. Fine. But if the manager is the last line of defense, and if the manager screws up, then I will never go to that place again.”

5. Other Tales of Mistaken Meltdowns

• [08:29] - [09:34]
• The team shares more stories:
  • Cassie recalls wrongly accusing a valet of stealing sunglasses, only to realize her wife had them.
  • Bert tells a similar anecdote about a friend who accused car wash employees of stealing a phone; it was in his wife’s purse all along.
• Key insight:
  • Sometimes the rush to anger or blame only ends in embarrassing self-reflection.
• Notable quotes:
  • [08:36] Cassie:

    “I valet my car, and my sunglasses are gone... I call my wife up... She’s like, dude, they're right here on the counter.”

  • [09:34] Bert (about the car wash incident):

    “He had to go in and tell the manager [he was] wrong.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Where you bitched about something. And then in hindsight, you're like, well, maybe I overreacted just a little bit.”
  — Kristin, [00:09]

• “She said, you know what? Maybe I was a little harsh... I think I got bitch regret.”
  — Kristin (about Katie Jo), [04:51]

• “Immediate bitch regret. I'm like, why did I do that? Like, why did I be a jerk to that guy?”
  — Bert, [07:48]

• “Employees can screw up. Fine. But if the manager is the last line of defense, and if the manager screws up, then I will never go to that place again.”
  — Kristin, [08:02]

• “I valet my car, and my sunglasses are gone... She’s like, dude, they're right here on the counter.”
  — Cassie, [08:36]

• “He had to go in and tell the manager [he was] wrong.”
  — Bert, [09:34]

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Segment Timestamps

• [00:00-00:35] Introduction of episode theme ("bitch regret")
• [00:36-04:50] Kristin & Katie Jo’s restaurant story and its resolution
• [05:16-07:49] Bert’s gas station anecdote and reflection on pettiness
• [07:57-08:02] Discussion on how managerial action impacts loyalty
• [08:29-09:34] Additional stories of mistaken accusations and apologies

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains The Bert Show's signature mix of authenticity, humor, and relatability. The cast openly laughs at themselves and each other, inviting listeners to reflect on their own “meltdown regrets” with warmth and honesty. The tone is chatty, self-deprecating, and real, making even cringeworthy stories feel oddly comforting.

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Takeaways

• Everyone has moments of overreaction—they’re humanizing and often hilarious in retrospect.
• Effective apologies, especially from those in leadership positions, can make problems right and even turn detractors into loyal fans.
• Sometimes, the real gut-punch isn’t the moment itself but the realization afterward that we didn’t take the high road.
• There’s comfort in sharing these moments, laughing at them, and realizing everyone does it.

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Transcript

[A]

The Birch Show.

[B]

I am a Southern girl born and raised in Tennessee, been living in Georgia for about 13 years. So I do believe in pitching a fit. Now, we've talked about this before. Jen Hobby and I've talked about this before where, you know, there are some times where it's appropriate to pitch a fit. Okay. If you're not getting what you want. But then maybe if you pitch too much of a fit, then afterwards you have a little bit of remorse about it. And so Katie and I are calling this bitch Regret, where you. Where you bitched about something. And then in hindsight, you're like, well, maybe I overreacted just a little bit. So what?

[A]

Ha.

[B]

And it's really Katie that coined the phrase because she's the one actually going through this right now.

[C]

And Katie Jo is Melissa's girlfriend.

[B]

That's right. So we. And I'm not gonna name the restaurants involved, but it does involve restaurants where, you know, I've never been one that went out to restaurants, and, you know, I've just never been a restaurant person. That's not what I would spend my time and money doing. But there are plenty people and people in this room who do enjoy going out to restaurants and trying new restaurants, and Katie Jo's one of them. So we went to a restaurant, I guess been a couple weeks ago, we went to a restaurant, and we walked in, and it was one that we hadn't been to before. We just were gonna, you know, try it out. And it was during the week. So it was a weeknight. It was early evening.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

So when we walked in, there was. It wasn't crowded or anything, but we walked in, and there wasn't a clear space where to go and be seated at the table. Okay, so we.

[A]

Not a clear hostess stand.

[B]

Yeah, not a clear hostess stand whatsoever. So we walked in, and for a second, we looked around, trying to figure out if there was a hostess in. Then we thought, well, if there's not one, does that mean we can sit ourselves? So we weren't sure. So we walked in. Why are you. Why are you.

[A]

Did I recommend this restaurant to you?

[B]

Yes. So we walked in.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

But it's all right. It's all right. So we walked in.

[C]

Did you set up this dinner for her?

[A]

No, but they are all such huge listeners.

[B]

Well, let me finish the story. Let me finish the story.

[A]

That's why she's not gonna say what?

[B]

That's why I'm not saying the restaurant. So we walked in, and like I said, we couldn't Find the hostess stand. So there was a guy that was kind of leaning over this table, like, you know, along the wall. So we assumed he worked there because it looked like he had kind of an apron on from the back. So we kind of walked over to him because literally, we stood there maybe 30 seconds, and nobody. There was a bartender near the door. This guy was over here. Nobody was giving us any direction. So we really started thinking, maybe we should seat ourselves. But just to check, double check, we went up to the guy and kind of tapped him on the shoulder, and Katie said, you know, do we seat ourselves or do we wait? And he turned around, and I was witness to this with quite an attitude and said, can you hold on just a second? And so. And Katie is just not to. Does not tolerate that, and neither do I. I mean, it's just like, well.

[C]

You just kind of snit. You felt like he was getting snippy.

[B]

That was our greeting to the restaurant. And so Katie's like, should have left. Katie's like, that's okay. We did. Katie's like, that's okay. Okay, thanks so much. And so we walked out, and Katie leaned over to the bartender and said, just want to let you know he. He lost you a sale. And we walked out the door. Simple as that. So we walk across, and it was an area.

[C]

Run that by me one more time. So the bartender leaned over to.

[B]

No, no, no. The guy was rude to us. So Katie, as she walked out, wanted somebody to know that he lost a sale. So she leaned over to the bartender and said, he just lost you a sale. So we walked out, and this was an area where there were other restaurants in the vicinity. So we just simply walked. We were within walking distance to another restaurant. So, fine. We walked into another restaurant, and. And as soon as we walked into that restaurant, there was a clear greeting stand. There was a clear employee that said, welcome to Blank, and thank you so much for coming in. How many in your party? So we walk up, and at that moment, this woman comes up to me. So I'm thinking, oh, you know, because the way she came up to me, very deliberately, I assumed. And it was just to me, I thought, well, she must be a listener or something. So I turned around, hey, how you doing? And she said, I just want to let you know that she was the manager at the other restaurant. She. And he passed us down to this restaurant and said, I just want to let you know my name is Blank, and I'm a manager of Blank, and I understand that you had a bad Experience. And I just want to invite you over because I want to take care of your dinner.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And came into another restaurant to do that.

[B]

Came into the other restaurant. And so she crossed over the border.

[A]

That's impressive.

[B]

I've never had that happen before.

[A]

That's really impressive. That's like China, Tibet business right there.

[B]

But I will say that this has nothing to do with my job. It was just. I was closer to the door is why she came to me because Katie was at the hostess stand. So she came up to me because as the first. First person from that party. From that party that was in her, you know, line of, you know, apology. And so Katie turned to her and said, that's very sweet. I appreciate that. But they have already greeted us and they've already offered us a table, and we're going to stay here. And then, you know, and she said, well, I. That sounds good. I understand that. Y' all enjoy your dinner. And please, anytime that you want to come back in, my name is blank, and I would love to have you back. So we do plan on going back. We have not been back since. And we will only go back when this manager, this woman is going to be there. And everything was fine. So we had dinner. Had a nice dinner. Everything's fine. It was later on that evening, way late into the evening before bed, that Katie said, you know what? Maybe I was a little harsh.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

And she said, now, I disagree, though. I do think that the service was bad, and then we walked out. But I do think the manager's actions, which I very much appreciate, you know, kind of made her think twice about it. And then she's one that she said, you know what? I think I got bitch regret.

[A]

See, I think you handled that perfectly. Or Katie Jo handled that perfectly. But when you said bitch regret. Because when did you bring it up? Monday, I think.

[B]

I think so.

[A]

Because Sunday night. Can a guy have bitch regret?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Sunday night, I pull into a gas station, right? And there is a guy. And you know, the setup of most gas stations that have the little shops, like, you know, quick trip or whatever. So there's the building is right here. Then there's the driving space. And this isn't one that has the parking spots in front of it. It's not like the enormous 30 pump mega mall centers where there's a dentist inside. This is just your little mom and pop, a little space, and then two columns of, like, four pumps each. A guy, an older guy, but not old enough to be, like, incapacitated. Older has stopped his car right in the middle of between the building and the pumps, which means nobody can use those pumps and nobody can. Like to get around him, you have to drive all the way around him and then back up to get into the pumps. Like, he. He quite possibly found the most inconvenient place and he was just stopped. So I came around the corner and stopped and like, faced him for a minute, thinking that he was trying to get his bearings, he was gonna move and go find a pumpkin, maybe trying to remember where his gas cap was, whatever. He doesn't move. I go around and park and I'm like, what an idiot. And while I'm pumping the gas, I see him put the car in park and get out and go into the store and make a purchase or transaction. And I went in to buy a lottery ticket, you know, because I'm due for mega millions any day now.

[B]

So I go in to buy now that it's in the, you know, higher range now that's when I got a better ticket.

[A]

And when I walk out, he's behind me and I push the door open and walk right through it and just go to the car. Like, he's. I should have held the door for him. Like the door hit him. He had a bag, like two bags full of groceries, the door. He did some mega shopping. So he was in the door.

[B]

So you could. You were physically angry at him.

[C]

Here's the difference between yours and their. Hers is direct bitchiness. Yours is passive aggressive bitchiness, right?

[A]

And I got three steps away and I'm like, well, why did I let that guy's stupid action of parking in an inconvenient change my attitude to, like, why did I. Why did that cause me to put that negative energy in the world and got three steps and there's nothing you can do at that point? Because the only thing that you have to accept the fact that you were apolog like that I had the process was that I didn't see him. Like, he just thought, oh, he must not have seen it if I turned around and said, oh, I apologize for not holding the door for you. And then he would know it was a passive aggressive thing. So, I mean, I was two steps out of there and I was like.

[B]

You had immediate bitch regret.

[A]

Immediate bitch regret. I'm like, why did I do that? Like, why did I be a jerk to that guy? Who knows what his choice.

[C]

Will you go back to this restaurant now?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You will?

[B]

Because only because of the manager's actions.

[C]

That's why she's the manager?

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. Because anytime and Katie and I had this discussion, employees can screw up. Fine. But if the manager is the last line of defense, and if the manager screws up, then I will never go to that place again.

[A]

I won't go back to that gas station.

[C]

They don't want you.

[B]

That was a customer, though.

[C]

I don't want you with your negative energy.

[A]

You know what? That gas station obviously makes me negative, and it brings me down. And I won't participate in that gas station anymore. Ever. Felt so bad.

[C]

7:35 now, guys, remember that time that I busted the valet for stealing my sunglasses?

[A]

Same thing.

[C]

I'm complaining to this guy. Yeah. I valet my car, and my sunglasses are gone. When I get back into my car, and I'm like, dude, come on. The sunglasses were right here. You know what? I know it.

[A]

Let's just.

[C]

Let's put an end to this. Just give me my sunglasses. Dude, I have no idea what you're talking about. What are you talking about? I call my wife up. I'm like, complaining, God, these valets stole my sunglasses out of my car. She's like, dude, they're right here on the counter. I had to pull the U turn and go back to the valet and apologize. At least you did.

[A]

Did I tell you with the car wash story? When my buddy got his cell phone taken? Same thing. Confronting the guy. And I happen to be driving by and stopped to say hi to him, and he's like, dude, they took my phone. I'm waiting the manager. I made the manager call the cops. And I'm like, why don't we just go stand with the employees and call it and we'll see who you know. And he goes, that's a great idea. So we walk over amongst all the employees. Do, do, do. I call from iPhone rings once, rings twice. His wife answers.

[C]

She had the phone.

[A]

It was in her purse. He put it in there. Last night when he went into some event, he had to go in and tell the manager, the birch show.