Vault: Weird Investiments

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode: "Vault: Weird Investments"

Date: July 27, 2026

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Overview

In this lively episode, The Bert Show team dives into the world of unconventional and "weird" investments, unpacking the astonishing success of oddball products like the Snuggie and the infamous “Better Marriage Blanket.” With their trademark humor and down-to-earth banter, the cast wonders: Would you have invested in any of these strange products before they hit it big? Along the way, callers and hosts alike share their takes on product gimmicks, relationship etiquette, and the wild world of “gag gift” innovation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Missed Opportunity” of the Snuggie

• The episode kicks off by reflecting on the phenomenon of the Snuggie, a product most people would have dismissed yet became a massive financial success.
  • Quote: “Remember how we say that if somebody came to you years ago and asked you to invest in the Snuggie?...Had you, you'd be a millionaire right now, right?” (01:03, Host)
• Sets the stage for a debate: what other offbeat products might have made investors rich?

2. Spotlight: The Better Marriage Blanket

• The hosts play a real (and hilariously detailed) infomercial for the Better Marriage Blanket—a comforter lined with military-grade activated carbon to absorb flatulence odors.
  • Notable quote from commercial: “It contains a layer of activated carbon fabric, the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons—flatulence.” (01:23, Advertiser)
• A roundtable discussion follows on whether anyone would invest $10,000 in the product.

3. Relationship Taboos and the “Blanket Gap”

• The team candidly discusses whether couples actually need a product like the Better Marriage Blanket, revealing their own relationship “rules” about passing gas.
  • Quote: “Y’all don't fart around each other.” (02:49, Guest 3)
  • “I will run out of the room like a cat who just used the litter box.” (02:54, Guest 2)
• The conversation covers embarrassment, honesty, and the realities of sharing a bed (and a bathroom habit) in relationships.

4. Investment Debates: Gag Gifts vs. Real Needs

• Hosts and guests debate the market strength of “gag gifts” and whether this blanket falls into that category.

  • Quote: “If it's not too expensive, then people are gonna get it as gag gifts. Like, the ones that make a lot of money are the ones that everybody's gonna buy.” (04:00, Guest 3)

• They reference other surprising success stories in the “weird product” world:

  • The singing fish on a plaque
  • Puppy “wee wee pads”—highlighting a TV show featuring the inventor’s lavish lifestyle
    • Quote: “The guy featured on the Cinco de Mayo show is the guy who invented the wee wee pad...he’s his sick house. Ridiculous.” (04:48, Guest 2)

5. Caller Perspective: “Real-World” Need for the Blanket

• A caller shares a personal story, explaining that after a medical treatment, her gas issue has gotten so bad that her husband is desperate for a solution.
  • Quote: “I just had a baby nine weeks ago…they had to give me some antibiotics, and it flushed out stuff. And now I have bad gas...So he would definitely invest in it.” (04:57, Caller)
• The barrier: the product price of $139.
  • “Your gas is not funny for 140 bucks.” (05:34, Host)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “[The Better Marriage Blanket]...should have called it the boyfriend girlfriend blanket. Because if you're just dating somebody, that's new...it's gonna protect.” (02:26, Guest 1)
• “I don't think I'm investing—it's too gross.” (03:39, Guest 3)
• “I don't think so either, but I would have said the same thing about the Snuggie.” (03:47, Guest 2)
• “Someone lives behind a gate because of [the singing fish on a plaque].” (04:14, Host)
• “I think he [my husband] would consider it worth it.” (05:21, Caller)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:03 – Introduction to investing in weird products: Snuggie as the case study
• 01:23 – Play and discussion of the Better Marriage Blanket commercial
• 02:21–02:58 – Roundtable: Would you invest? Relationship dynamics and etiquette
• 03:10–03:18 – Discussion of couples and “health problem” excuses, humor in product marketing
• 03:41–04:23 – Investment debate: Gag vs. practical, conversation pivots to product pricing
• 04:23–04:48 – Strange product success: The story of the puppy “wee wee pad” inventor
• 04:57–05:23 – Caller shares a real-life scenario, price reveal, and relatability to audience

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Tone & Style

The show blends laughter with real talk, maintaining a tone that's informal, relatable, and self-deprecating. The friends bounce between genuine curiosity about unusual investments and playful ribbing about their own lives and awkward relationship boundaries.

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Takeaway

This episode of The Bert Show neatly encapsulates the unpredictable nature of the “gag gift” market—and the thin line between ridiculous and revolutionary when it comes to investing. Through personal anecdotes, debate, and relatable listener calls, the hosts invite listeners to reflect: what “dumb” idea might actually be the next million-dollar success—and would you spot it in time?

Transcript

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[Host (possibly Birch)]

Remember how we say that if somebody came to you years ago and asked you to invest in the Snuggie? How you just said, get out of here man. I'm not giving you $10,000 for that. And had you, you'd be a millionaire right now, right? Okay, this is a real product being sold on the Home Shopping Channel and in commercials right now. Promise this is real.

[Better Marriage Blanket Advertiser]

It's the problem in the marriage bed that no one likes to talk about. Maybe that's why they call it silent but de well, now there's a real solution to a very real problem. Introducing the Better Marriage Blanket. On the outside, the Better Marriage Blanket looks and feels just like a soft, warm comforter. But on the inside, it contains a layer of activated carbon fabric, the same type of fabric used by the military to protect against chemical weapons flatulence. Molecules easily pass through the cotton shell and are harmlessly absorbed into the layer of carbon fabric. Even when used on top of bed sheets, offending molecules are absorbed before anyone knows they're there. So whether you or your spouse suff from a health issue or just the occasional disagreeable meal, you owe it to your marriage to try the Better Marriage Blanket. It makes a great wedding gift or anniversary gift, too. To order, call 1-800-981-1134. Just three easy payments of $39.95 online at buy bettermarriageblanket.com order now.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

A real commercial, real product. Are you investing $10,000 in that?

[Guest 1]

Absolutely. They shouldn't have called it the marriage blanket. They should have called it the boyfriend girlfriend blanket. Because if you're just dating somebody, that's new. And, I mean, there's some meals that gas, but, I mean, it's gonna protect. And you just don't want to be embarrassed.

[Guest 2]

Have you. Have you and your fiance farted around each other, Jen?

[Guest 3]

It's not my fiance.

[Guest 2]

And no.

[Guest 1]

See?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Look at Melissa smirking. Melissa, I'm coming here.

[Guest 3]

Y' all don't fart around each other.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

No.

[Guest 3]

Yeah, neither do we.

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I will run out of the room

[Guest 2]

like a cat who just used the litter box.

[Guest 3]

We don't need the marriage blanket.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

You and Katie Jo. No problem.

[Guest 2]

I'm just.

[Guest 3]

Yeah. If y' all are lying, I'm lying. So. Yeah, I'm not lying.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

I'll do it accidentally, but, I mean, I've been around families where the father will just let it rip and everybody laughs.

[Guest 3]

No, nothing like that. But I just think it's so funny how they say health problems are a disagreement with food. There are some couples that, you know.

[Guest 2]

You think it's funny?

[Guest 3]

I think it might be funny. Dutch.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

I wouldn't find nothing funny about that.

[Guest 2]

Katie Jo likes her beer, too. That's a dance dangerous right there.

[Guest 1]

So do y'.

[Guest 3]

All.

[Guest 2]

How you doing?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

We haven't slept with you in a while, though, so if I'm offering you 10 grand, I'm saying, look, you can get in on this. All I need is $10,000 for it to get off the ground.

[Guest 3]

Oof. I don't think I'm investing.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

You're not investing.

[Guest 3]

It's too gross.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Jeff.

[Guest 1]

But you wouldn't know.

[Guest 2]

Nah, I don't believe in this one.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

I don't think so either, but I

[Guest 2]

would have said the same thing about the Snuggie.

[Guest 3]

See, the thing is, it's about people investing in it. So if the price. Did we. Did he have the price on in that ad? Did you guys hear a price?

[Guest 1]

Because three payments is something.

[Guest 3]

Because the thing is, if it's not too expensive, then people are gonna get it as gag gifts. Like, the ones that make a lot of money are the ones that everybody's gonna buy.

[Guest 2]

Like the Reaper.

[Guest 3]

It's a gag gift. The fish. The trout that sings on a plaque. Who would have thought?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

But it's rich. Someone lives behind a gate because of that thing.

[Guest 3]

Yeah. There's the show going to a wedding this weekend. I should get them this as a gift.

[Guest 2]

The show that Joan Rivers hosts. That's. It's coming back on May 5th. And the guy that they're interviewing, it's called how do you make youe money? Or How'd you Get so rich? And it's basically where she just shows up at people who are, you know, driving around in $300,000 cars or big giant houses. And she. The guy featured on the Cinco de Mayo show is the guy who invented the wee wee pad.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

The what pad?

[Guest 2]

The thing that you put on your floor for dogs.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Oh, really?

[Guest 2]

Yep.

[Guest 3]

Little puppy pad.

[Guest 2]

Yep. The guy who invented the wee wee pad. And he's his sick house. Ridiculous.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Good morning, Aaron. You're on Q100.

[Caller (Aaron's wife)]

My husband would definitely invest in that right now. I just had a baby nine weeks ago, and they had to give me some antibiotics, and it flushed out stuff. And now I have bad gas. It's so embarrassing to say that gas all the time. And he's ready to kick me out of the house and the bed. So he would definitely invest in it.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

It's $139, by the way.

[Caller (Aaron's wife)]

Well, I think he would consider it worth it.

[Guest 3]

You know, it might be, yeah. Because if you're gonna do some. Something that's gonna be make people laugh, Then you gotta make it inexpensive.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Yeah, that's not funny.

[Guest 3]

At 140.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Your gas is not funny for 140 bucks.

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