Vault: Wendy's Commencement Speech

Summary

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The Bert Show: "Vault: Wendy's Commencement Speech"

Air Date: August 3, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show revisits a memorable segment: Wendy's Commencement Speech, an uplifting and humorous address to new graduates. Crafted in the style of a class of 2010 commencement, Wendy weaves pop culture references—particularly from American Idol—into advice for young adults stepping into the real world. The speech takes a light-hearted approach while touching on themes of resilience, self-worth, and the significance of supporting relationships.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: The Graduation Speech Assignment

• [01:03] Host Wendy introduces the concept: the show's team was assigned to write and deliver commencement speeches, focusing on recent grads entering the workforce.
• [01:08] Wendy frames her speech with a nod to the class of 2010, targeting college grads about to begin job interviews and embark on their careers.

2. Navigating the Real World: Lessons from 'American Idol'

• [01:30 - 04:07] Wendy creatively parallels new graduates’ forthcoming experiences with iconic American Idol judges and contestants, lending a witty and relatable structure to her guidance.

  • Simon Cowell-like Bosses:

    • These bosses are overly critical, nitpicking every small mistake.
    • "There will always be the Simon Cowell-like bosses. They nitpick at you, comparing you to other contestants, and in this case, other employees, criticizing your every flaw and picking on that one typo in your email. Well, don't let them deter you." (Wendy, 01:41)
    • Advice: Use criticism for growth. “Use spellcheck next time and just carry on.” (Wendy, 01:50)

  • Cara Dioguardi-like Coworkers:

    • Often new-ish, self-assured, and always spotting areas for improvement in others.
    • “These Cara people...they know it all. Now if you come in looking like Casey James, you may not have to worry about any improvements in the workplace because you’re hot, simply because you are hot.” (Wendy, 02:16)
    • Lesson: Know your potential and keep striving to improve yourself.

  • Randy Jackson Motivators:

    • Emphasizes perseverance, even if the feedback is discouraging.
    • “Yo, dawg. Yo. Alright, look, listen. Your goals are never out of reach. You may feel like giving up, hear a lot of Randy comments—‘Dude, it just wasn’t good enough’—along the way. But be patient, keep working hard, and you’ll finally hear, ‘You’ve got a hot one tonight.’” (Wendy, 02:41)

  • Ellen DeGeneres Cheerleaders:

    • Friends who offer laughs, encouragement, and sometimes nonsensical advice.
    • “You know you can always count on the Ellens in your life. These are your friends, the people who want you to do the best you can, encourage you and give you advice—sometimes in the form of jokes that don’t make any sense.” (Wendy, 03:01)

  • The Susan Boyles:

    • Older, more experienced rivals who show up unexpectedly and impress with their “perfect resumes.”
    • “Sure, they’re more experienced...but that’s because they’ve been waiting 60 years to finally come out and shine...Well, I’ve got news for you: you’ve got a perfect resume, too. You’re young, you have determination...” (Wendy, 03:16)

  • Feeling Like Aaron Kelly, Being a "Bowersox":

    • The insecurity of youth versus the hidden strength and talents.
    • “Sometimes you may feel like that Aaron Kelly. Young, scared, unsure...but know, there’s always a Bowersox in you. You have the qualities to achieve exactly what you’ve set out to do.” (Wendy, 03:38)

3. Closing Sentiment

• Wendy’s wrap-up celebrates the class of 2010, encouraging graduates to embrace their stage and pursue their dreams with confidence and humor.

4. Show Crew's Reaction

• [04:08] The hosts cheer Wendy’s speech, highlighting the humor and relatability.
  • “There we go.” (Wendy, 04:08)
  • “Congratulations.” (Co-host, 04:09)
  • Bonus nod to learning life lessons through TV pop culture: “You’ll learn a lot from watching American Idol.” (Wendy, 04:11)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On criticism and perseverance:
  “Use spellcheck next time and just carry on. But then ask yourself, do you really want to work for a guy who’s not coming back to the company next year anyway?” (Wendy, 01:51)
• On self-improvement:
  “Truly know your full potential. There’s always a need to improve and better yourself at work and in life.” (Wendy, 02:25)
• On friendship:
  “These are your friends, the people who want you to do the best you can, encourage you and give you advice—and sometimes it’s in the form of jokes that don’t make any sense.” (Wendy, 03:04)
• On competition:
  “They see you about to graduate, apply for that first major job and then they come out and belt out a perfect resume. Well, I’ve got news for you. You’ve got a perfect resume too. You’re young, you have determination...” (Wendy, 03:21)
• Final encouragement:
  “Your stage is set. You are the class of 2010.” (Wendy, 03:48)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:03 – Wendy introduces her commencement speech concept
• 01:30-04:07 – Main speech: analogies with American Idol and workplace advice
• 04:08-04:16 – Hosts’ reaction and closing remarks

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Tone & Style

Wendy’s speech is playful, brimming with pop culture references, and balances humor with sincere encouragement. The cast’s banter maintains The Bert Show’s signature authenticity and warmth.

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Summary Takeaway

Wendy's speech deftly transforms the anxiety and anticipation of entering the workforce into a series of empowering, familiar analogies. By blending pop culture with practical advice, she delivers a message of resilience, self-assurance, and camaraderie that resonates both for graduates and anyone facing new beginnings.

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Transcript

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[Commencement Speech Narrator]

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[Narrator]

This is the Birch Show.

[Host Wendy]

Hi. So today is Wendy's day for commencement speeches.

[Co-host]

Yeah. Everyone is getting ready to graduate, whether that be in high school or college. And we have all had the assignment to write commencement speeches as if we're giving them to the graduating class of 2010. So I did my speech. More based on college students that are graduating and going in for their first

[Commencement Speech Narrator]

job interview and their first jobs out in the real world.

[Host Wendy]

Okay, so class of 2010 here, listen up.

[Commencement Speech Narrator]

They've been through four rigorous years of strict teachers, read millions of textbooks, faced the pressures of social statuses, and have taken essay upon essay. They'll all be outing out into the real world after tonight. This is your class of 2010. For the past four years, you've practiced, studied hard, prepared for that first audition. You. You're ready for that first job, ready to face the judges. Of course, there will always be the Simon Cowell. Like bosses. They nitpick at you, comparing you to other contestants, and in this case, other employees, criticizing your every flaw and picking on that one typo in your email. Well, don't let them deter you. Use spellcheck next time and just carry on. But then ask yourself, do you really want to work for a guy who's not coming back to the company next year anyway? If you work hard enough, you can always apply for his 107 million dollar job. Thank you. Then there are the Cara Diaguardi. Like co workers, they like bits and pieces of you. But you're new, not as experienced, so they can always find something that needs improvement. These Cara people are usually still new to the company. They have, let's say, one year under their belt but they've been in the same career field for a while so they know it all. Now if you come in looking like Casey James, you may not have to worry about any improvements in the workplace because you're hot, simply because you are hot. Anyways, lesson here. Truly know your full potential. There's always a need to improve and better yourself at work and in life. Yo, dawg. Yo. Alright, look, listen. Your goals are never out of reach. You may feel like giving up, hear a lot of Randy comments. Dude, it just wasn't good enough along the way. But be patient, keep working hard and you'll finally hear you've got a hot one tonight. And you know you can always count on the Ellens in your life. These are your friends, the people who want you to do the best you can, encourage you and give you advice and. And sometimes it's in the form of jokes that don't make any sense. Of course there may also be the Susan Boyle or two that show up along your journey to the top. Sure, they're more experienced than you are, but that's because they've been waiting 60 years to finally come out and shine. They see you about to graduate, apply for that first major job and then they come out and belt out a perfect resume. Well, I've got news for you. You've got a perfect resume too. You're young, you have determination, you've got the knowledge to take the stage and a fashion sense and good teeth. Sometimes you may feel like, Sometimes you may feel like that. Aaron Kelly. Young, scared, unsure, out in this big old world. But no, there's always a bower socks in you. You have the goods, you have the qualities to achieve exactly what you've set out to do. Your stage is set. You are the class of 2010.

[Host Wendy]

There we go.

[Co-host]

Congratulations.

[Host Wendy]

Commencements week of 2010. You'll learn a lot from watching American Idol.

[Co-host]

Absolutely.

[Narrator]

It's the vert show.