Vault: Wendy's Creepy Craigslist Adventure

Summary

The Bert Show: "Vault: Wendy's Creepy Craigslist Adventure"

Air Date: March 18, 2026
Main Cast: Bert, Wendy, Chris, Jeff, Mary, Callers & Listeners

---

Episode Overview

In this episode, The Bert Show team dives headfirst into the wild, weird world of Craigslist personal ads. The main theme centers on testing the "creepiness" of Craigslist by having Wendy post an ad in the "encounters" section and see how quickly it elicits a response. The hosts and listeners share stories, reactions, and even craft a Craigslist-inspired haiku, all while keeping things light, humorous, and a little risqué. The episode explores internet anonymity, personal boundaries, and online dating mishaps, all in the classic, irreverent Bert Show style.

---

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Kicking Off the Craigslist Experiment

• (00:45) Bert sets the stage: Wendy has just posted a provocative ad in the Craigslist encounters section. The gang is waiting to see how long it will take to get a reply.
• Wendy’s ad:
  “I'm open to trying new things and I love dirty talk, so turn me on. Fetishes Freaky? Yes, please. I'm not picky on appearance. We'll leave work immediately. Please call phone number. Need some asap.”
• They joke about the sheer volume of competition on Craigslist and the speed with which new ads appear, pushing Wendy’s post further down the list.

2. Listener Stories about Craigslist Weirdness

• (01:44) Mary’s story: She shares about receiving a mistaken call from a hotel room in Fayetteville, from a man responding to a Craigslist ad for “Lindsay.” This sparks a discussion about prank posts and the downsides of someone else's mistaken or malicious postings.
• Mary: "I have no idea. I don't know if you dialed the wrong number or somebody put the wrong number. But, like, a couple of people have called me since then thinking that I am this Lindsay person, wanting to hook up with them in a hotel." (03:06)

3. Browsing The Craigslist Encounter Section

• (03:36) Bert’s first time in the Craigslist encounter section: He's shocked and amused, reading aloud actual posts, highlighting the explicit and sometimes bizarre nature of the ads.
• Sample Postings Read by Bert:
  • "Special feet lovin’"
  • "Looking to have fun with a vanilla kitty?"
  • "Any bored housewives looking for daytime encounter?"
  • "Hump day humping."
    ("Seriously? That was their pitch line?" – Listener 1, 04:53)
• The group jokes about how clever or desperate some of the ads are and the colorful language used.

4. Craigslist Pranks and Online Dangers

• (06:11) Listener Call: A male listener admits to once pranking his married friend by posting a "men seeking men" ad with his real phone number, specifying odd roleplay requests. This spins into a playful yet cautionary chat about the risks of these types of pranks.
• Chris: "That's actually funny... say, look, I'm way into role playing, so no matter what, you are my middle school scout leader." (06:29)
• They touch lightly on the fleeting nature of posts—so many go up every few seconds that any embarrassment is short-lived.

5. Success Stories and “Casual Encounter” Nuance

• (07:21) Another caller shares a positive Craigslist story: She met her boyfriend via a Craigslist ad in "men seeking women," distinguishing it from the more salacious "casual encounter" section.
• Caller: "It's actually crazy because I did my own research, and the females are just as nasty." (07:43)
• She emphasizes the different intentions behind the sections—some looking for flings, others looking for genuine connections.

6. Craigslist Haiku Challenge

• (09:15) Chris writes a Craigslist-inspired haiku:
  • "Where should I
    Slap you like autumn leaves
    your pants fall. I don't know your name." (10:02)
• The team debates the correct haiku form and playfully applauds (snapping fingers) for Chris’ poetic effort.

7. The Results: Waiting for Wendy’s Response

• (10:16) Ten, twelve, then thirteen minutes pass with no reply to Wendy’s ad, surprising everyone given Craigslist’s reputation.
• The group speculates about why no one’s calling (maybe Wendy’s ad got lost in the shuffle, maybe Atlanta Craigslist isn’t as fast-moving as rumored).
• Bert: "Maybe Craigslist isn't as creepy as you guys thought it was." (10:19)

8. The Creepy Call Arrives

• (10:40) Wendy finally gets a call: She answers live with encouragement from the crew, but the caller quickly hangs up after a brief, awkward interaction.
  • Wendy: “He’s like, I’m responding to your ad. And then just sat there silently. And then I’m like, where are you? He was like, I’m in my car.” (11:04)

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Wendy: "Nobody really wants to do me on Craigslist yet." (00:51)
• Listener 1: "People post the most disgusting things on that, like, pictures and everything." (03:00)
• Bert: “Looking to have fun with a vanilla kitty? What is that?” (04:25)
• Listener 1: "That was their pitch line? Hump day humping." (04:53)
• Chris's Haiku:
  • "Where should I / Slap you like autumn leaves / your pants fall. I don't know your name." (10:02)
• Wendy (on the call): “He’s like, I’m responding to your ad. And then just sat there silently. And then I’m like, where are you? He was like, I’m in my car.” (11:04)
• Bert: "Maybe Craigslist isn't as creepy as you guys thought it was." (10:19)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Craigslist Ad Goes Live: 00:45
• Mary's Wrong-Number Story: 01:44–03:06
• Bert Reads Craigslist Ads: 03:36–04:57
• Craigslist Prank Call Story: 06:11–06:48
• Caller Shares Craigslist Relationship: 07:21–08:38
• Haiku Challenge & Readings: 09:15–10:13
• First (and Only) Call to Wendy's Ad: 10:40–11:04

---

Tone and Style

The episode is light, irreverent, and at times, gleefully naughty. The crew’s reactions are quick, humorous, and authentic, balancing curiosity and caution as they explore Craigslist’s wilder side. Listeners join in with their own candid—sometimes cautionary, sometimes heartwarming—stories.

---

For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

• Expect lots of laughter, a bit of shock, and the kind of honest, anything-goes conversation The Bert Show is known for.
• This episode peeks behind the digital curtain at Craigslist’s personal ads, showing both the absurdity and the occasional sweetness of strangers reaching out online.
• It’s a playful warning about online anonymity and a testament to the bizarre, unpredictable world of Internet connections—plus, don’t miss Chris’s legendary Craigslist haiku!

---

Note: Ads, intros, and outros are omitted in this summary.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer 1]

Sick of scrolling the same old apps. Have some fun with your downtime. On champacasino.com, play over 100 free online social casino games for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void or prohibited by law. 21 terms and conditions apply.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

When you manage procurement for multiple facilities, every order matters. But when it's for a hospital system, they matter even more. Grainger gets it and knows there's no time for managing multiple suppliers and no room for shipping delays. That's why Grainger offers millions of products in fast, dependable delivery, so you can keep your facility stocked, safe, and running smoothly. Call 1-800-GRAINGER Click grainger.com or just stop by Grainger for the ones who get it done.

[Bert]

The Bird show, the official experiment on how creepy Craigslist can be, officially started two minutes ago. Now, right?

[Wendy]

Yeah, it's posted, but nobody really wants to do me on Craigslist yet.

[Chris]

Save that.

[Caller 1]

Wa wa wa.

[Bert]

We're on the encounter section of Craigslist just to reset this real quick. And we wanted to see how long it would take Wendy to get a response from just one, one post. And the post says, the post says,

[Wendy]

I'm open to trying new things and I love dirty talk, so turn me on. Fetishes Freaky? Yes, please. I'm not picky on appearance. We'll leave work immediately. Please call phone number. Need some asap.

[Bert]

So if you hear a cell phone ring anytime we're talking right now, that's the first freaky creepy dude.

[Wendy]

And people are posting literally every two seconds. My ad keeps going down and down.

[Jeff]

And you're mad because there's more competition. You're like, hey. I'm like, hey, come on, I need it right now. I will leave work. Will they leave work? No, I will leave work.

[Bert]

What are you gonna say, Jeff?

[Chris]

I don't remember.

[Bert]

Hey, Mary, good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Mary]

Hi.

[Bert]

Hey.

[Chris]

You go now.

[Mary]

So I was at work the other day and my phone rang and I couldn't answer it, but it went to voicemail and it left me a voicemail. So. So I checked it and a guy left me a message and he said, hi, my name is Tom. I'm a first timer. You can give me a call back at this number. I'm usually really good about. Like if people have the wrong number, calling them back and seeing what they want. But the number that he called from was different from the number that he left. So me and my friend that I work with, we got on the computer and looked up the number that he had called from, and it was a hotel in Fayetteville.

[Bert]

Oh, really?

[Commercial Announcer 2]

Hey.

[Chris]

Okay, so I love you.

[Mary]

He asked if my name was Lindsay, and he had found my ad on Craigslist. And I said, no, my name's not Lindsay. This is Mary. I said, you know, what kind of ad was it? And he said, well, you know, it was an ad for Is this not Lindsay? I was like, no, this is not Lindsay. So we went on Craigslist to, like, try and find this ad. And a couple people have called me since then, too. But really, people post the most disgusting things on that, like, pictures and everything.

[Bert]

So somebody posted for you with your phone number, like, playing a joke on you?

[Mary]

I have no idea. I don't know if you dialed the wrong number or somebody put the wrong number. But, like, a couple of people have called me since then thinking that I am this Lindsay person, wanting to hook up with them in a hotel.

[Chris]

It could be, you know, what? Be a situation with Wendy. Maybe there is a real Lindsay out there who thinks that no one likes her. Like, maybe she just typed the wrong number in the ad. Like, transpose the six and the nine or something. And then she.

[Listener 1]

I thought I had a beautifully written ad.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Bert]

This is the first time that I've ever been on Craigslist. Encounter section.

[Jeff]

Are you shocked?

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

I love watching Bert's facial expression as he's opening up these ads.

[Wendy]

Each one.

[Bert]

Well, I learned on the very first one not to open it if there's a picture.

[Listener 1]

Yeah.

[Bert]

I was greeted by.

[Listener 1]

Careful what you wish for.

[Bert]

Ready?

[Chris]

Craigslist 3D would be really interesting.

[Bert]

The first one. And these are. These are here in Atlanta. Let's do it this morning. That one's in Gwinnett, if you want. If you're looking for a little hookup action, Gwinnett's your place to be. Special feet lovin'. Say Atlanta.

[Chris]

Save that,

[Bert]

married ladies. Do you like to watch.

[Listener 1]

Some pretty graphic stuff up there.

[Bert]

Looking to have fun with a vanilla kitty? What is that?

[Chris]

Save that.

[Bert]

You guys know what that is?

[Listener 1]

I would imagine it's a white girl.

[Bert]

Casual sex. Yes.

[Chris]

To get a response.

[Bert]

Any bored housewives looking for daytime encounter?

[Chris]

Yes.

[Bert]

Hump day humping.

[Listener 1]

Seriously?

[Bert]

Seriously.

[Listener 1]

That was their pitch line.

[Bert]

Hump day humping.

[Listener 1]

I am clever. They're like, I had an epiphany.

[Chris]

Just so you know, while Bert reads these ads and you write on that board, it sounds like a mattress squeaking.

[Jeff]

Yeah, the squeaking is a little suggestive at the moment.

[Wendy]

We'll do it at work.

[Listener 1]

Ye.

[Chris]

That's cool. You can do that in, like, five minutes.

[Jeff]

We have advanced to sound effects on this show.

[Bert]

Seek savvy lady to meet at Johnny's Hideaway. Super bowl fun.

[Chris]

Johnny's Hideaway.

[Bert]

That's right.

[Chris]

For real?

[Bert]

That's what it says. Oh, you're nasty, dude.

[Chris]

Read it.

[Bert]

I can't. What up, Shody? He's here.

[Chris]

I think we should all. I think the next bird show challenge should be to use a Craigslist ad and write a haiku based on it. Oh, we'll bring the arts into filth.

[Jeff]

Well, that is how.

[Listener 1]

What's a haiku again?

[Chris]

3. 5. 3 or 3 7? 3.

[Jeff]

I can't remember.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

At least 3.

[Caller 1]

7.

[Listener 1]

I can't remember either. That's gonna bug me.

[Chris]

Craigslist, boss.

[Wendy]

Or five?

[Jeff]

I don't know.

[Chris]

Why do you haunt me with your whippings? I must go.

[Bert]

Hey, Chris. You're on Q100.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, we actually did this to my. My friends married and we put an ad in Craigslist. It was men seeking men.

[Bert]

Oh, that's great.

[Jeff]

Funny.

[Caller 2]

It was the weirdest. Like, we told everybody that he. We put his phone number like, his actual phone number and told him that he wanted to be treated badly and act like you're the cops when you call, and it was just horrible.

[Chris]

That's actually funny, is to put somebody's real name and tell the. And say, look, I'm way into role playing, so no matter what, you are my middle school scout leader.

[Caller 2]

That's exactly what we did. We were like, do not break character because that turns me off.

[Listener 1]

Did he have to change his phone number?

[Caller 2]

No, he just stopped. He had to fix the phone.

[Chris]

That's great. Well, the good news is, like Wendy said, because they roll off there so fast because there's a lot of pervs in the world. Your post is only up there for half a day, and by then you've been replaced by 300 other pervs.

[Bert]

We're nine minutes into that posting and not one phone call.

[Listener 1]

And it's in another city, too. I keep saying that. I'm surprised one we're looking on is Atlanta.

[Chris]

Is it a big city?

[Listener 1]

Yeah, it's a big city.

[Wendy]

Yes.

[Chris]

You didn't post it in, like.

[Wendy]

You know, I think I almost should have posted it in a smaller town.

[Bert]

Branson.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Good morning. You're on the bird show.

[Mary]

Hey.

[Caller 1]

Me and my boyfriend that I'm with right now, we actually met on Craigslist. But it wasn't that the little nasty Casual encounter part. He actually put up a posting and I respond to it and we just started talking and we've been together for a couple months and I think it's really weird, but it's actually crazy because I did my own research and the females are just as nasty.

[Bert]

Yeah, they are.

[Listener 1]

Are they really?

[Caller 1]

Yes, they really are. Like, you guys saw the male section. The female section is just as bad. Including pictures.

[Bert]

All right, before we move on and go to the women's section if you can, without us losing our license, what did he post on Craigslist that you even responded to?

[Caller 1]

Well, it wasn't nasty casual encounter. It was the men seeking women. And he just told a little bit about himself. He's laid back, working full time job, you know, just looking for a female to hang out with to get to know. And it was just really simple and really laid back. And I mean, his picture was cute. So I was like, well, you know, it couldn't hurt, you know, step out on face. And the first time we met, we met in a public place. It wasn't anything. I mean. And we've been together for months now and he's actually pretty. Pretty great.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

Awesome.

[Bert]

So you were looking for something a little more superficial, but you actually found something a little deeper.

[Caller 1]

No, actually I wasn't looking for anything superficial because that's the difference between casual encounters, casual counters, just people that just want to jump on, so to speak. And men seeking women. And women seeking men is more of the long term relationship ads.

[Bert]

Gotcha. Well, thank you for calling.

[Mary]

Thank you.

[Bert]

Lesbian freaks looking to party. Black men only. That's in Stone Mountain.

[Listener 1]

Whoa.

[Wendy]

And that's recent?

[Bert]

Yep. Why'd you post it a while ago?

[Jeff]

Oh yeah, Wendy's.

[Wendy]

Like, I posted this black man yesterday.

[Chris]

By the way, I've written a craigslist haiku. It's 575.

[Listener 1]

Five side five.

[Chris]

So apologies to.

[Listener 1]

It's gonna drive me crazy.

[Chris]

To Mrs. Cook, my advanced placement English teacher in high school.

[Listener 1]

Sorry, Mrs. Polls, I didn't remember either.

[Bert]

Do you want to relay your haiku? Yeah.

[Chris]

Yes, please. You have your snapping fingers. Ready everyone?

[Jeff]

Yes, we're right.

[Bert]

Wait, hold on.

[Jeff]

Let me warm them up. Okay, right again.

[Chris]

Where should I slap you? Like autumn leaves your pants fall?

[Jeff]

Dude, that was so.

[Chris]

I haven't finished it yet. Three lines. It's five. Seven five.

[Bert]

Ruined his vibe. Seriously. He start again.

[Chris]

No wonder you don't have any friends.

[Bert]

She's got special friends. Found out.

[Chris]

Yeah,

[Jeff]

I just laugh like.

[Commercial Announcer 1]

Yeah, see again, liar.

[Wendy]

Yeah, ding your bell.

[Chris]

Where should I Slap you like autumn leaves your pants fall. I don't know your name.

[Wendy]

Can we save that?

[Listener 1]

I know you somewhere.

[Bert]

Yes.

[Listener 1]

It's brilliant.

[Bert]

Nobody's called. It's been 12 minutes.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

I am shocked.

[Bert]

Maybe Craigslist isn't as creepy as you guys thought it was.

[Wendy]

Maybe just no one's looking to have a little.

[Listener 1]

By the looks of those Atlanta postings, he is pretty creepy.

[Jeff]

Wait.

[Wendy]

Please hold.

[Chris]

Well, let's move on to more fun and find out why your wife hates you.

[Bert]

That's what you'll get if you answer it.

[Mary]

Do I.

[Chris]

You got. Go ahead.

[Bert]

We'll just listen on one side.

[Wendy]

Hello? Hi. Oh, yeah. Where are you at? Talk sexy. Talk sexy.

[Chris]

Ask him to talk sexy.

[Wendy]

Oh, he hung up.

[Will]

Why?

[Jeff]

I don't hear people in the background.

[Bert]

I was whispering. He couldn't have heard that. How long did it take? 13 minutes. Oh, did he sound creepy?

[Listener 1]

Yeah.

[Jeff]

What'd he say?

[Wendy]

He's like, I'm responding to your ad. And then just sat there silently. And then I'm like, where are you? He was like, I'm in my car.

[Chris]

Okay, you guys play commercial. I'm going to find Southside. Steve

[IQ Bar Announcer]

the Bird Show. This podcast is sponsored by IQ Bar.

[Will]

I've got good news and bad news. Here's the bad news. Most protein bars are packed with sugar and unpronounceable ingredients. The good news, There's a better option. I'm Will and I created IQ Bar plant protein bars to empower doers like you with clean, delicious, low sugar, brain and body fuel. IQ bars are packed with 12 grams of protein, brain nutrients like magnesium and Lion's Mane, and Zero Weird Stuff. And right now, you can get 20% off all IQ Bar products, plus free shipping. Try our delicious IQ Bar Sampler Pack with seven plant protein bars, four hydration mixes and four enhanced coffee sticks. Clean ingredients, amazing taste and you'll love how you feel. Refuel smarter, hydrate harder, caffeinate larger. With IQ Bar.

[IQ Bar Announcer]

Go to eatiqbar.com and enter code BAR20. To get 20% off all IQ Bar products plus free shipping. Again, go to eatiqbar.com and Enter code BAR20.

[Commercial Announcer 1]

I was ordering food for the office from the same few places for too long.

[IQ Bar Announcer]

For workplaces suffering with office food fatigue, every day's a struggle.

[Commercial Announcer 1]

Before starting EasyCater, I assumed having no good vegan options for Carl in finance was normal.

[IQ Bar Announcer]

Or EasyCater is designed to treat off with a huge variety of favorite restaurants, plus tools to help you meet dietary needs and stay on budget. Use daily one platform lets you save time and shine. Ask your app store about Ezcator or start an [e-mail] the sun's shining, birds

[Commercial Announcer 2]

are singing, and all feels right in the world.

[Mental Health Advocate]

Until the season changes and suddenly you lose your motivation to get out of bed. In fact, one in five people experience some form of depression, no matter the season or time of year.

[Commercial Announcer 2]

At the American Psychiatric association foundation, our vision is to build a mentally healthy nation for all, because we want you to live your best life and be your best you all year round.

[Mental Health Advocate]

Please visit mentallyhealthynation.org to learn more.