Vault: What Did You Do At Your Company Christmas Party To Get Yourself Fired?

Summary

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Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: What Did You Do At Your Company Christmas Party To Get Yourself Fired?

Date: November 25, 2025
Host: Bert and The Bert Show Cast

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around infamous—and often hilarious—stories of people getting fired due to their antics at company holiday parties. With the holiday season approaching, the cast highlights why it's essential to remember that, despite the festive atmosphere, a work holiday party is still a work event. The episode features firsthand accounts from listeners, cautionary tales from the hosts, and practical advice—served up with plenty of the show’s signature humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Holiday Party "Slippery Slope"

• The danger of letting loose: Jamie points out the common misconception that the holiday party is a carefree environment, which often leads to people overindulging and making regrettable decisions.

  “You go to your holiday party for work and… there’s no repercussions for anything. And then… you start drinking just to be more comfortable… and then you do something stupid.” – Jamie (01:15)

• Lasting infamy: Bert emphasizes that one wild incident can leave a permanent mark on your reputation at work.

  “If you’re branded like that, you’re branded… until somebody else does something.” – Bert (01:37)

2. Legendary Holiday Party Fails

a. The Pantsless Guest

• Crash's story: Bert recounts when “Crash” told the general manager’s wife she had a “great ass” and then took his own pants off before leaving. This turned into Crash’s workplace legacy.

  “He is the guy who took his pants off when he left the party.” – Bert (02:08)

b. Caller Stories

• Rookie Drinker Gets the Boot (02:44)

  • Caller David: Describes a new hire who, after just three weeks, drank excessively during the company holiday party, loudly dropped F-bombs, and kept repeating “Top of the morning to you.” He got fired the next day.

    “He was just pounding drinks… dropping F bombs all night… next day, he got canned.” – Caller David (03:15)

• The Christmas Party Biter (04:04)

  • Caller Tish: Shares about her boyfriend, who mixed cold medicine with booze (secretly Jack Daniels), got out of control, and ended up biting the nephew of a high-up employee. He was suspended and transferred, but the infamous bite remained his legacy.

    “Long story short, he bit somebody on the arm… they decided the next day… he was no longer gonna work there.” – Caller Tish (04:14) “Your boyfriend is to be known as the guy who bit so-and-so’s nephew.” – Bert (05:12)

• The Ice Sculpture Incident (05:36)

  • Bert: Remembers a radio station party in Arizona where “Teresa” hopped on a banquet table to lick the ice sculpture. She’ll always be remembered for that stunt.

    “She is forever… described… as the girl who licked the ice sculpture.” – Bert (05:47)

3. Work Party Wisdom & Advice

• Treat it like a meeting: David stresses the importance of approaching the company party professionally.

  “The mentality going into it has to be more of a meeting than it is a party.” – David (03:47)

• Network early, don’t talk shop drunk:

  • Arrive early to chat with executives—while everyone’s sober.
  • Don’t pitch ideas after a few drinks: “Once you start to get your buzz on… you think your ideas are better than everybody else’s.” – David (06:11)

• Bosses beware!

  • Jamie observes that it's especially embarrassing if the boss is the one who gets wasted.

    “There’s such a loss of respect for a boss that gets drunk at the Christmas party.” – Jamie (06:35)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You go to your holiday party… and then you get comfortable, and then you do something stupid.”
  – Jamie (01:15)

• “He is the guy who took his pants off when he left the party.”
  – Bert (02:08)

• “That guy, the biter, he’ll never live it down.”
  – Caller Tish (05:25)

• “She licked the ice sculpture. Yes, I know exactly who you’re talking about.”
  – Bert (06:02)

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:15 – Jamie discusses the “slippery slope” of holiday parties and overdrinking
• 01:37 – Bert on how long party incidents stick with your work reputation
• 02:08 – Crash’s pantsless party story
• 02:44 – Caller David describes the rookie who was fired after drinking too much
• 03:47 – Advice: Treat the party as more of a work event than a real party
• 04:14 – The Christmas party biter story
• 05:47 – Bert recounts the infamous “ice sculpture licker”

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Overall Tone

Playful, candid, and laden with the hosts’ signature blend of humor and warmth. The cast shares these cautionary tales not just to entertain, but to gently remind listeners: don’t be “that person” at the office holiday party.

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Takeaways

Before you hit the open bar at this year’s work holiday bash, remember these stories—the legend might live on long after the hangover fades.

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Transcript

[Commercial Narrator]

Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line. But first. There the last one. Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes.

[Knox]

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[Fruit Show Host]

The Fruit show.

[David]

We are getting into that period now, the time of year where you're going to all these holiday parties and especially your work holiday party. You got to be so careful.

[Jamie]

Oh yeah. I mean, because there's this misconception that you go to your holiday party for work and that it's a comfortable environment, that you all are friends, that there's no repercussions for anything. And then usually the danger is the slippery slope is, is you go to the holiday party and you really don't want to go, but you know, you need to, you need to make an appearance. So you start drinking just to be more comfortable at the holiday party. Then you keep drinking and then you get comfortable and then you do something stupid.

[Bert]

And the thing is, it lasts when if you're branded like that, you're branded like that for until somebody else does something. And I think that the premier example is Crash, who didn't exactly mind it, but he. Because it only had like maybe two years into the show or whatever. Jessica.

[David]

Hey, David. Hold on one sec.

[Caller David]

Yep.

[Bert]

Threw that party for me where Crash told our general manager's wife that she had a great ass and then. And then left. Took his pants off before he left.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[Bert]

And people who were at that, who don't work, who didn't know Crash personally but were at that party forever, he is the guy who took his pants off when he left the party.

[Jamie]

Yeah. They knew him intimately by the end of the night.

[David]

Right? You guys let this forever. If you go into these holiday parties, let the following stories totally freak you out so you don't get your drink on so badly. Because I am assuming the phone lines that are lit up right now have to do with alcohol and drinking too much at the holiday party.

[Jamie]

Yeah.

[David]

So, 404741 1005. If you are absolutely sure the reason why a fellow employee has gotten the boot because of something that happened at the holiday party, give us a call right now. Hey, David.

[Caller David]

Hey, what's up, gang?

[David]

How are you?

[Caller David]

Good. I got a perfect situation. We had a holiday party at the Oaks arena during a hockey game. There was a guy that just moved from New York that was brand new with the company. He was probably with us for three weeks, and this guy was just pounding drinks. And you think he'd be a little more, you know, careful being with the company so short of time? And he got so drunk, he was dropping F bombs all night.

[David]

Oh, no.

[Caller David]

And just kept. You know when you're, like, really drunk and you keep repeating the same thing over and over again? Well, his thing was top of the morning to you and just annoying everybody. And sure enough, the next day, he got canned.

[David]

Is that right? You're just looking for a reason.

[Caller David]

Yeah. And he. I'm telling you, he just moved to New York for this company. And he was here no longer than three weeks. So I don't know, you know, what he did after that, but hello and goodbye, I guess.

[David]

You know, this article kind of gives you guys suggestions on exactly what to do.

[Bert]

And when you.

[David]

One of them says, like, the mentality going into it has to be more of a meeting than it is a party. Like, when you go in there, this is still part of, like, work.

[Jamie]

Yes.

[David]

You just can't see it as, like, a place to let your hair down and hang. Right. You got to look at it as like, a meeting. Good morning, tish. You're on Q100. Hi.

[Caller Tish]

Hi.

[David]

Hey.

[Caller Tish]

I was just calling to tell you guys, if you have a cold, do not go to your holiday party.

[Bert]

If you have a what?

[David]

A cold.

[Caller Tish]

If you have a cold.

[Bert]

Okay. How come?

[Caller Tish]

Well, my boyfriend and I went to his company holiday party, this was about three years ago, and he had a cold. So we stopped and got him some cold medicine. And I decided that it was probably not a good idea for him to be drinking, but he did that anyway. He has a thing for Jack Daniels, but he was drinking beer. I didn't know that. One of his co workers had been feeding him Jack Daniels on the side. A couple hours into it, things are getting a little out of control and he's having to be held down. Long story short, he bit somebody on the arm. And this happens to be the nephew of somebody that was pretty high up in the company, so they decided that the next day when he went into work that he was probably no longer gonna work there. The guy was complaining, said that he needed to go to the hospital. He didn't know where his mouth had been. So he ended up getting suspended for a week without pay. And they transferred him to another location one night.

[David]

Like that man.

[Bert]

And from now on, your boyfriend is to be known as the guy who bit so and so's nephew all the time.

[Caller Tish]

I wasn't working for the company at the time. I had and I went back and they still talk about it now.

[David]

Yeah, you can.

[Caller Tish]

That guy, the biter, he'll never live it down.

[David]

Yeah, like, his description will be vague. Yeah, you know, Remember the guy with the glasses and the dark hair? No, not really. The guy that bit Bill at the company party.

[Bert]

Oh, yeah, Bill. There's the girl at our radio station Christmas party when I was in Arizona who climbed up on the banquet table and licked the ice sculpture.

[Knox]

Nice.

[Bert]

And she is forever. Like, that's how she is described. Exactly as Bert just did. Remember when we worked with Teresa? She had brown hair. She dated Mark for a while. She sold for krq.

[Caller David]

She got.

[David]

She.

[Bert]

Remember she got, like, pregnant and then she had twins. She licked the ice sculpture. Yes, I know.

[David]

Of course I remember Teresa. Two other really good pieces of advice is to get there early, because the best time to chat with executives is in the beginning of the night before you start to get your buzz on. They're going to be there early. You can get there early also. And it also says it's the worst place in the world to actually talk shop, because once you start to get your buzz on, all of a sudden you think your ideas are better than everybody else's, and that's where it starts to fall.

[Jamie]

But then we talk about employees. It's also embarrassing when the boss is the one that gets drunk. Yes. Like, that's not a good idea for managers to even drink at all because there such a loss of respect for a boss that gets drunk at the.

[Fruit Show Host]

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[Knox]

Whoa.

[Fruit Show Host]

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[Knox]

Wow.

[Fruit Show Host]

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[Fruit Show Host]

I'm the worst. I only got my mom a robe.

[T-Mobile Salesperson]

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[Fruit Show Host]

So I have to trade in my old phone, right?

[T-Mobile Salesperson]

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[Fruit Show Host]

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[T-Mobile Salesperson]

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[Fruit Show Host]

Sounds like my family drama.

[T-Mobile Salesperson]

Oh, I got it. I'll give it to my abuela. I'll take reindeer paper with hey where are you going?

[Bert]

To T Mobile.

[Fruit Show Host]

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