Vault: What Did You Find Out About Someone After They Passed?

Summary

The Bert Show: Vault – What Did You Find Out About Someone After They Passed?

Date: January 15, 2026
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and team
Theme: The secrets, surprises, and revelations people discover about loved ones only after they have passed away.

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show explores the intriguing, often emotional discoveries people make when sorting through the lives and belongings of those who have passed away. Through personal anecdotes, listener calls, and the hosts' reflections, the show delves into stories of hidden marriages, secret accomplishments, undisclosed struggles, and generational secrets—emphasizing how we never entirely know even those closest to us.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Hosts' Personal Experiences

• Sorting Through a Late Parent’s Possessions
  • One of the hosts shares about organizing their late father's extensive library, only to find books on sexual health and dysfunction for older men—a subject unknown to his wife of 51 years.
  • Insight: "She felt like she knew him, but yet this was something about him she didn’t know how much of a concern this was for him." (Host 2, 04:13)
• Reflection on Posthumous Discoveries:
  • Realization that after someone passes, their private lives may be revealed through possessions, paperwork, and the necessity to clear out their home.

2. Listener Call-Ins: Real Stories of Posthumous Secrets

• Hidden Marriages and Unknown Family Members

  • Crystal (05:56):

    • Discovers after her father's death that he had been married twice before marrying her mother—none of the family (except his mother) had any idea.
    • Quote: “No one knew that except his mother.” (Crystal, 06:14)
    • The mother reacts with shock but a measure of understanding, tying it to the father’s Vietnam War years—a period he never spoke about.

  • Caller Charlene (09:40):

    • Learns at age 14, long after her grandfather’s death, that her grandparents were never married, and she had uncles previously thought to be unrelated.
    • Quote: “Back then, it was my whole grandmother’s family cut her off because she was with my grandfather, who was actually married to another woman. You wouldn’t give him a divorce.” (Charlene, 10:13)

  • Caller El Dorad (11:01):

    • Finds out only after her mother’s passing that her parents were never legally married, despite her mother insisting otherwise up until her deathbed.

• Extraordinary Accomplishments & Generosity

  • Susan (07:36):

    • After her mother, a CDC epidemiologist, passed away, the family receives a box containing journals and papers, only then discovering the significant impact she had in her field.
    • Quote: “We had no idea what she had actually accomplished... we had no idea.” (Susan, 07:43)

  • Host’s Family Story (08:08):

    • The host recounts how, after his grandfather’s death, the family learned a city planned to build a monument to honor his charitable work—a side of him none of the family knew.

  • Jarrah (09:00):

    • Finds out at her grandmother’s funeral that she had quietly supported three families financially throughout her life.

• Scandal and Hidden Relationships

  • Caller Kelly (12:02):

    • Discovers after her grandmother’s death that her uncle was in fact her cousin, the biological son of a great aunt who had an affair during her husband’s deployment in Vietnam. Her grandmother adopted and raised the child.

  • Family Secrets About Sexuality

    • Caller Kelly (13:31):
      • After her grandmother’s passing, it comes out that the woman’s close “friend” Aunt Sally was actually her long-term romantic partner of over 30 years.
      • Quote (from hosts): “Your old maid Ann is really a lesbian.” (Host 2 joking, 13:59)

• Unconventional Revelations

  • Discovery that a family home, thought to be owned for decades, was in fact a rental the entire time.
    • “Like, they paid rent for, like, 50 years on a house.” (Caller Host, 10:55)

3. Reflecting on Mortality and Legacy

• Hosts and callers reflect on the universal reality:
  • “When someone passes away...someone has to come into your home and clean every single thing out…there’s not very many people in your life that know of every single thing you have.” (Host 2, 04:52)
• The experience of discovering new facets of loved ones after their death is common, sometimes comforting, sometimes jarring.
• Secrets and untold stories often tie back to shame, social stigma, and generational attitudes, especially regarding sex, relationships, and identity.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “She felt like she knew him, but yet this was something about him she didn’t know how much of a concern this was for him.” (Host 2, 04:13)
• “No one knew that except his mother.” (Crystal, 06:14)
• “We had no idea what she had actually accomplished... we had no idea.” (Susan, 07:43)
• “Back then, it was my whole grandmother’s family cut her off because she was with my grandfather, who was actually married to another woman. You wouldn’t give him a divorce.” (Charlene, 10:13)
• “Your old maid Ann is really a lesbian.” (Host 2, 13:59, joking in response to revelation about Aunt Sally)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment / Story | |-------------|------------------------------------------------| | 02:50–04:33 | Host shares sorting father’s books, sex & health secrets revealed to his widow | | 05:56–06:34 | Crystal learns about father’s secret former marriages after his passing | | 07:36–08:08 | Susan discovers her mother’s unknown CDC accomplishments | | 08:08–08:59 | Host’s grandfather, secretly a community hero, gets posthumous recognition | | 09:00–09:21 | Jarrah finds out about grandmother’s lifelong financial kindness | | 09:40–10:37 | Charlene uncovers truth about grandparents’ marriage and secret uncles | | 11:01–11:54 | El Dorad realizes her parents were never married | | 12:02–13:15 | Kelly learns uncle is actually cousin, due to an affair in the family during Vietnam War | | 13:31–14:11 | Kelly learns of her grandmother’s long-term secret same-sex relationship |

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Tone & Style

• The conversation is warm, sometimes humorous, sometimes poignant.
• Hosts and callers maintain authenticity—met with both empathy and lively banter.
• The tone shifts seamlessly between laughter at scandalous twists and silence at more emotional discoveries.

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bert Show taps into universally resonant feelings—how well we ever truly know our loved ones, and the surprises that can surface only after they’re gone. It illustrates the enduring poignancy of memory, legacy, and the complexity of human relationships, all delivered with the trademark authenticity and humor of the show’s cast and callers.

Transcript

[Host 1]

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[Host 2]

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[Caller Host]

And.

[Host 2]

And so I notice, I mean, you just kind of sense when someone's vibe has changed a little bit, even if. Though they're not saying anything. Well, it ends up that some of the books he had. Travel, western, mystery. He also had medical books, and she had gotten into the collection of medical books. Now, again, my brother had packed all these books, and again, he had a library, so mom didn't necessarily know, obviously, every book he had. And so a lot of the books that he had had in the medical part had to do with sexual. Sexual activity. Sexual activity in older men, sexual dysfunction in older men. Just a lot of books about sex. And mom was fascinated by this because obviously it was not a concern that she shared with him, you know, that he shared with her. I mean. Yeah, that he shared with her. And so she was confused. I mean, they were married for 51 years, so she was confused because when you're old. He passed away when he was in his 70s. And for those who are not aware of. Of, you know, people in their lives that are older, especially for men, that is a concern for them when they're older, especially if they have heart problems. My father had a heart attack, and men who have heart attacks, usually that is something they're not able to do anymore after the fact.

[Caller Host]

So not even an older person thing.

[Host 2]

Really, when you're in your mid-30s. No.

[Caller Host]

It's kind of always there in the back of your mind.

[Host 1]

Privately.

[Caller Host]

Privately. Burch wants to know where this.

[Host 2]

Exactly.

[Caller Host]

Next time you need help cleaning out your house, just let me know exactly. Be glad to come on over and move some boxes for you.

[Caller]

Yeah, exactly.

[Host 2]

But the fascinating thing, though, was the fact that she felt like she knew him, but yet this was something about him. She didn't know how much of a concern this was for him. So we. I was. It was interesting to see someone after the fact that he was gone. She learned something new about him after he had passed away, but simply by going through his possessions now.

[Caller Host]

404, 741, 1005. This could be really interesting, like what you found out about somebody that you didn't know after they died. Right. And so, I mean, you can't do anything about it at that point, obviously, but just to know, like, the shocking things that you might have that you should have known while they were alive or maybe even not have known.

[Host 2]

Because the thing is, you. You. Because we don't think about it, but when someone passes away, like, all their possessions have to be divided and sent and gone somewhere. So someone has to come. Like when you pass away, someone has to come into your home and clean every single thing out. Because something has to happen in your home. You know, if there's nobody you're leaving behind, they have to sell the house. They have to, you know, if you're renting, whatever. So you have to think about every single possession you have. And there's. No, there's not very many people in your life that know of every single thing you have.

[Caller Host]

You know, here's one that's quite a bit more morbid than that and quite a bit more sad. But after Stacy's aunt died of ovarian cancer, everybody found out afterwards that she had never gone to a gynecologist in her whole life. Life. How do you find that out afterwards? I think medical records and stuff like that. They're backtracking and all that to try to trace where maybe they had missed it. Never had one exam at all, you know. So what are the things that you found out about somebody after they passed away? Good morning, Crystal. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller]

Hey. My dad passed away a little over a year ago, and after he died, me and my brother had gone to his mother's house, and we're going through some old pictures and stuff of him that we may have wanted to keep and found out he had been married twice to two different women before my mother.

[Caller Host]

No one knew that.

[Caller]

No one knew that except his mother.

[Caller Host]

That'll shake things up a little bit. How did your. Your mom take that?

[Caller]

My mom was just kind of, you know, I'll call my mom. We were on our way with my grandmother's, and I called my mom. I was like, why didn't you tell us this? And she was like, I didn't know that.

[Caller Host]

Oh, wow. That'll set you back a little bit.

[Host 2]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Caller]

I kind of dropped the bomb on.

[Host 2]

My mom, and it was. Yeah, what was it?

[Caller Host]

How did she take it, though? I'm curious. Like, after you told her and she had a chance to calm down and regroup a little bit. I mean, that's a Pretty big part of somebody's life. Especially if she went through her entire life thinking that she was the only woman ever in his life.

[Caller]

Well, like, she kind of. It was a shock to her. But he was also in Vietnam, and it was back in his Vietnam days, and that was something that he didn't talk about. He didn't like to relive those days and everything that went on in his life back then. So I think, you know, mom was just kind of like, you know, I wish you would have told me. But at the same time, I think she kind of understood that. Okay. That was back when he was in, you know, Vietnam, and he never talked about that part of his life. He never really liked to discuss, you know, what went on and all that kind of stuff. It was kind of part of his life he tried to block out.

[Caller Host]

Wow. Wow. Yeah. That would. That's a big secret. That's a very, very big secret.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Caller Host]

All right. Thank you for calling, Crystal.

[Host 2]

Thanks.

[Caller Host]

Bye. Bye. Yeah, that one's huge right there.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Host 2]

Wow.

[Caller Host]

Good morning, Susan. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller]

Yeah. My mom actually passed away a few years ago, and she was pretty high up in the CDC group working on infectious diseases and epidemiology. And when she passed away, we had no idea what she had actually accomplished. And we got this huge box from CDC about all these journals she had published and all these different, you know, different types of diseases she had researched as well as, like, different ways to cure them and treat them, and we had no idea.

[Host 2]

That's cool.

[Caller Host]

My dad went through a similar experience with my grandfather. Actually, I remember this, that my grandfather was kind of like my dad, kind of like a really, really hard guy. You know, like, didn't show a lot of emotion, kind of abrasive and just very kind of cold. Ish, you know? And after my grandfather passed away, my dad got a call from the city in which my grandfather passed away in saying that they were building a monument to him because of all the public service work that he had done in that town. So even today, there's, like, this big old plaque on the side of a building. I mean, he was helping out all these, like, build playgrounds and underprivileged children and stuff like that. Yeah, my dad had no idea. It's just something that my grandfather never talked about. What town is that in? It's in Long Beach, New York. So can you go there and see? You can go there and see. Yeah. Yeah. Harold Weiss. There's a monument to him.

[Host 2]

Very cool.

[Caller Host]

Good Morning, Jarrah. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller]

Good morning. My grandmother, at her funeral, we found out that she had taken care of three families. My grandmother was on Social Security at the time that had helped pay their rent, buy them food, take care of the children, made sure they had school clothes. And she had done this up until she died.

[Host 2]

Wow. We've heard similar stories, like, people who've passed away here in Georgia, where once they lived in such very basic house, and it looked like they didn't have much income at all, but they had been saving their money when they died. They had millions to give away to universities and stuff. It's just fascinating.

[Caller Host]

Good morning, Charlene.

[Caller]

Hey, how's it going?

[Caller Host]

Good. You're on the Burt Show.

[Caller]

I found out when I was 14, this is like, eight years after my grandfather had died, that my grandparents were never married.

[Caller Host]

Really?

[Caller]

I had no idea. I had uncles, and it was always like, oh, that's your grandfather's friend. But it was actually his son. Like, I just recently, in the last month, found all three of my uncles, and they're all so excited that I finally figured out that they were my uncle.

[Host 2]

Oh, cool. That's scandalous, too.

[Caller Host]

Yeah. Did they wear.

[Caller]

Back in the day?

[Caller Host]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Back then, it was my whole grandmother's family cut her off because she was with my grandfather, who was actually married to another woman.

[Caller Host]

Okay. That's the one.

[Caller]

You wouldn't give him a divorce.

[Caller Host]

Did they wear the wedding rings and stuff while they were alive?

[Caller]

Well, I always knew my grand. You know, they both had the same last name, but they never, you know, when you're 14, you don't really look at people's wedding rings until I really figured out, you know.

[Caller Host]

That's wild. Yeah. Thank you. I just remembered that we found out after my grandparents passed away that they never owned the house that, like, everybody grew up in. Like, my mom and all of her sisters and brothers. Like, that house, like, it was a rental from the woman who owned this little store next door and that nobody ever knew that.

[Host 2]

Wow.

[Caller Host]

Like, they paid rent for, like, 50 years on a house. Mm. Morning. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller]

Hi. My name is El Dorad.

[Caller Host]

Good morning.

[Caller]

I found that it was very similar. My parents were never really married, and I did not find out until my mother passed away. Even when she was ill and I was having to fill out papers for her. She even gave me a date that they were married and a judge who married them, she held on stuff. But they were never married. And I Had to face my father and ask him eventually, after my mother passed, and he didn't want to tell me, but he did tell me that because Social Security wanted to know, and he had to let me know that they were never legally married.

[Host 1]

Wow.

[Caller]

He had his name and everything. It's all on my birth certificate.

[Host 1]

And.

[Caller]

And I'm. I'm. To be honest, I'm 56 years old, so that was way back in the day. And I just tell you, it. It was. It kind of floored me. It never would have mattered to me. I guess my mother thought it might.

[Host 2]

Right.

[Caller Host]

I don't know. Thank you for calling.

[Caller]

You're welcome. Bye.

[Host 2]

Bye. To be on your deathbed and still hold on to that, obviously, is that important, you know, close to your house.

[Caller Host]

Hey, Kelly. Good morning.

[Caller]

Hey, Bert Show.

[Host 2]

Hi.

[Caller]

I. I found out after my grandmother passed away. My dad grew up in a family. It was two boys and two girls. And his youngest brother, Rick, was quite a bit younger than everybody else, only to find out that it actually was his cousin, his. My grandmother's sister. So my great aunt had had an affair while her husband was in Vietnam and was too, you know, obviously didn't give up the child, you know, didn't have an abortion and ended up giving it to his, you know, her sister.

[Host 2]

So the sister took the baby and raised it as her own.

[Caller]

And raised it as her own. So he was in the family. So all came out after my grandmother passed away when all of the. Everything was being divided up in the estate.

[Caller Host]

Wow.

[Host 2]

Did the great aunt's husband come back from Vietnam and find out about it?

[Caller]

Well, he came back and just to see that he had a new nephew.

[Host 2]

Mm. He was gone long enough. He was gone long enough to never know that his wife had had a baby.

[Caller Host]

Exactly.

[Host 2]

Whoa. Whoa.

[Host 1]

Yeah.

[Caller Host]

Yeah.

[Caller]

My dad was pretty devastated, too. But, you know, nonetheless, he was.

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Caller Host]

And you're so helpless at that point. There's nothing you can do about it.

[Host 2]

No.

[Caller Host]

Like that.

[Host 2]

See, every generation, there's scandal.

[Caller Host]

Hey, Kelly. Good morning.

[Caller]

Hey, good morning. Burt Show. How are you guys doing?

[Caller Host]

Thanks.

[Caller]

Good. I found out that my grandmother was gay.

[Host 2]

Really? How?

[Caller]

It came out through one of my cousins. And the whole time when I was little. Let's call her Aunt Sally. She was actually her girlfriend, and she had been living with her for, like, years, like, 30 plus years. And I just thought that was a friend of hers, and it was actually her girlfriend.

[Host 2]

Your old maid Ann is really a lesbian.

[Caller Host]

That'll make your knees buckle a little bit. And, I mean, it's rarely talked about now in public. So back in the day, I mean, nobody said a word about that. Yeah.

[Host 2]

Yeah, that's right. Yeah. You have a relative, a female relative who's much older, who's never been married.

[Caller Host]

Wink, wink, you know, what's up, you know, hey, the bird show.

[Host 2]

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