Vault: What Do You Do When She's Out of Your League?

Summary

---

The Bert Show: Vault – What Do You Do When She’s Out of Your League?

Original Air Date: April 9, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode centers around Frank, a self-described "decent-looking guy" who landed a date with a woman he considers "way out of his league." The Bert Show team—including Bert, Dave, Melissa, Wendy, Jill, and several callers—explore the nuances of dating someone you perceive as being "out of your league." The conversation is a blend of lighthearted banter, practical advice, and real-life anecdotes, ultimately constructing a humorous but insightful “Idiot’s Guide to Dating Out of Your League.”

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Frank’s Situation & Confidence

• Frank recounts his story about meeting a "banging" girl on the lake, being surprised at her invitation for dinner, and feeling unsure about “playing the game” with someone he sees as extremely attractive.
  • “I consider myself a decent looking guy, but this girl is banging.” – Frank [02:07]
• The show draws parallels to celebrity rumors (e.g., Megan Fox and Robert Pattinson) to discuss real-world dating dynamics.
  • “Who blows off Megan Fox? She's like the hottest girl ever.” – Dave [02:45]

2. The Dating “Game” – To Pursue or Not to Pursue

• The group debates common advice: acting nonchalant vs. showing genuine interest.
  • “If she's insecure, you make her feel secure. And if she's very secure, as a guy playing the game, you try to make her insecure to be attracted to you.” – Bert [03:09]
• Women’s Perspective:
  • Dave and Melissa point out that women often see through “the game,” especially when played unskillfully.
    • “Women are hip to this now, though. We can spot it.” – Dave [03:30]
  • Frank claims he’s not nervous and has experience with attractive women:
    • “This is not the first time.” – Frank [04:22]
    • “I usually know how to make them laugh. You know, it's just this girl's really hot.” – Frank [04:28]

3. Advice for “Dating Out of Your League”

• Main takeaways:
  • Have a plan: Show confidence by organizing the date, but avoid being cocky or overly accommodating.
    • “Be confident and act like you know what you want to do on the date, but not cocky… have a direction for the date.” – Caller Kim [06:34]
  • Fine-tune “the chase”: Don’t be too eager or too standoffish. Let her want more.
    • “He can't seem too eager… but also can't be too standoffish. It's a tough balance.” – Bert [04:03]
  • Be authentic: Frank avoids playing “the player” role, wanting to remain sincere.
    • “I'm not a player. I don't want to be a player… if I like you, I'm not gonna, you know, beat around the bush.” – Frank [05:28]
  • Don’t rush physical moves:
    • Advice from caller John: “Whatever he does, do not kiss her that night… We ended up getting married, and 12 years later, we’re married.” – Caller John [08:26]
    • Frank jokes this might be tough but is willing to try:
      • “You've got the most beautiful woman that you’ve ever dated right in front of you, and you’re going to turn that down? Even a kiss tonight?” – Bert [10:03]
      • “I don't know about that one.” – Frank [10:12]
  • Exude confident detachment: Show interest, but don’t be needy or vulnerable.
    • “He wants to exude a sense of confidence… but not give off a sense of complete vulnerability.” – Caller Melody [09:11]

4. Banter, Humor & Signature Bert Show Moments

• Frank jokes about living with his parents, causing playful uproar:
  • “You live with your parents?” – Bert [07:38]
  • “No, I'm kidding.” – Frank [07:40]
• Co-host Wendy offers “liquid courage” advice with a wink.
• A running gag about “techniques” like not kissing, garlic breath, or even farting in the car for authenticity.
  • “So when you’re in the car with her alone, make sure the windows are up, then lock them so she can’t put them down… And then let it rip and laugh hysterically.” – Wendy [10:22]
• Melissa jokes about the “Idiot’s Guide” and the group shares light mockery and encouragement.

5. Where to Go Next – Venue Suggestions (Atlanta Area Bars/Lounges) [11:05–12:48]

• Frank asks for post-dinner suggestions; team provides a range of options:
  • Clermont, The Heretic (Wendy)
  • 10 Degrees South, Buckhead/Sandy Springs (Bert)
  • Bazaar or the W Hotels’ bars (Dave)
  • Six Feet Under, Tap, The Glen for rooftops and lounges (Jill, Bert)
  • The Outback Steakhouse bar (“get yourself one of them Wallaby Darns.” – Wendy [12:48])
  • McDonald’s as the ultimate anti-play (jokingly suggested by Frank [12:52])

---

Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments

• On “the chase”:

  • “You want what you can’t have.” – Jill [06:13]
  • “Single girls and single guys are similar—they want the challenge, the thrill of the hunt.” – Dave [06:14]

• Straight shooting advice:

  • “Whatever he does, do not kiss her that night.” – Caller John [08:26]
  • “If you make her not go to your place… she’s gonna be like, why didn’t—does he not want to make out with me?” – Jill [07:19]

• On being real:

  • “You don’t need her to be drunk for his humor, too.” – Melissa [08:05]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:07] Frank’s intro: Out-of-his-league dilemma
• [03:09] Bert’s rundown of “player” psychology
• [04:03] Team defines the fine line for attraction
• [06:29] Caller Kim’s advice: confidence & having a plan
• [07:19] Jill on what not to do after dinner
• [08:26] Caller John’s “don’t kiss her” success story
• [09:11] Melody’s advice: confidence without being vulnerable
• [11:05] Atlanta date night venue suggestions
• [12:48] Humorous lounge and anti-date spot suggestions

---

Summary

The episode delivers classic Bert Show chemistry—a mix of advice, comedy, and listener engagement—around the topic of “dating out of your league.” Frank is ultimately buoyed by the team's consensus: display confidence (not cockiness), pursue gently (not desperately), and above all, be authentic. The playful banter and crowd-sourced wisdom equip Frank—and listeners—with both laughter and genuinely useful tips for intimidating romantic situations.

Next Episode Teaser: The team plans to check in with Frank on Monday to see “how it went.”

---

Transcript

[Bert]

Delete Me makes it easy, quick and safe to remove your personal data online. At a time when surveillance and data breaches are common enough to make everybody vulnerable, it is easier than ever to find personal information about people online. Having your address, your phone number, family members, names just hanging out there online, it's all pretty scary stuff, right? With Delete Me, you can protect your personal privacy or or the privacy of your business from doxing attacks before sensitive information can be exploited. Look, I'm online all the time and it freaks me out that my info is out there. Take control of your data. Keep your private life private by signing up for Delete Me now at a special discount just for you guys. Get 20% off your delete me plan when you go to JoinDeleteMe.com Bert use the promo code Bert at checkout. That's join DeleteMe.com Bert enter the code Bert B R T at checkout okay,

[Weight Loss Hers Advertiser]

can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like one minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit forhers.combert to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.com Bert forhers.com Bert with way less by hers is not available in all 50 states. WeGovy is a registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s. Get started and learn more, including important safety information with govi clinical study information and restrictions.

[Bert]

Visit borheart.com the Birch show all right, let's get to Frank here. You remember Frank from a couple days ago.

[Frank]

Previously on the Burt Show. Met a girl on the lake this weekend. I consider myself a decent looking guy, but this girl is banging. We were just hanging out Talking or whatever. She's like, hey, if you're not doing anything, you know, we should go get some dinner next Friday. And I was like, really? And I definitely don't do the little puppy dog that I'm just gonna go pee on your leg and mark my territory type of thing. But playing that game, I need to learn that move.

[Bert]

I think you gotta try this weekend. I mean, if she's that far out of your league.

[Co-host Dave]

And you know, we started this conversation from talking about Megan Fox and Robert Pattinson.

[Bert]

Yeah.

[Co-host Dave]

Remember we said that the two of them hooked up supposedly for like one night, and then he blew her off. And we were like, wait a second, who blows off Megan Fox? She's like the hottest girl ever. And he's a good looking guy, but, you know, maybe a little more average than she is. So that's why we were asking if anybody was in that real situation. Cuz you said that Robert Pattinson played it right because he was like, I'm gonna blow her off. I'm gonna be like, too cool. And now she wants him more.

[Bert]

Somebody told me a long time ago that in the single world, if you're just. If you're a real player, the mentality is this. If she's insecure, then you make her feel secure. And if she's very secure, as a guy playing the game, you try to make her insecure to be attracted to you.

[Co-host Dave]

Well, women are hip to this now, though. We can point it, we can spot it. If you're trying to play the game.

[Bert]

You can.

[Co-host Dave]

I think so if you're a rookie player. Yeah, Guys aren't real good at being stealth with it.

[Bert]

Well, there's a real fine line that Frank's walking into this weekend. That's why we want to try to get him some advice. Now the phone lines are lit up with people still trying to win the thousand dollars. That's gone.

[Co-host Dave]

We already gave it away today.

[Bert]

Gave it away. We'll do that again on Monday. So here's what we need to do. We need to do like an idiot's guide to dating out of your league.

[Co-host Melissa]

Okay.

[Bert]

You know, because it's like, he's got to make some moves here over the 24 hours that he has with her.

[Co-host Melissa]

Mm.

[Bert]

Because he can't seem too eager. He absolutely can't seem too eager. But he also can't be like, too standoffish.

[Co-host Dave]

Right.

[Bert]

It's a tough balance.

[Co-host Dave]

Are you nervous, Frank?

[Frank]

Not really, no.

[Co-host Dave]

That's good.

[Frank]

No, I mean, like. All right, first of all, I've dated good Looking women before.

[Bert]

Let me just put it out there right now. This is not the first time.

[Frank]

When you say Idiots Guide to Dating. Yeah. I'm no dude boy from 90210 and she's no Megan Fox. But, I mean, you know, I'm not nervous when I talk to women. I usually know how to make them laugh. You know, it's just this girl's really hot.

[Bert]

You sound like a pretty confident guy.

[Co-host Melissa]

I don't need an idiot, Scott. But if you want to help other men with this and use me as

[Co-host Wendy]

an example, that is totally my sacrifice last night.

[Frank]

I don't know if y' all saw that, but I made that comment on Wednesday, was it, And I was just flipping the channels, and it was actually on.

[Co-host Dave]

You watch Hitch last night?

[Frank]

No, it was on tv, and I

[Caller Kim/Melody]

just kind of flipped my ass.

[Co-host Dave]

That's awesome.

[Co-host Melissa]

I did see that it was on TV last night and thought of you, actually.

[Frank]

Exactly. Now you're thinking of me at home. Awkward.

[Co-host Dave]

Well, not.

[Co-host Melissa]

I'm not thinking about you too much, but that's.

[Bert]

That would be the real call going into the weekend. So let's try to give Frank some advice. Although I gotta tell you, you seem to have an attitude where, I don't know, that you need a lot of it. You know what I'm saying?

[Frank]

My thing, like. Are you talking about players? I don't. I'm not a player. I don't want to be a player. But, you know, like, there's that game where some dudes can just, like, play it off where I really don't care. And me, I'm not really that type of guy. Like, you know, if I like you, I'm not gonna, you know, beat her on the bush, but whatever.

[Co-host Dave]

But we're saying tonight you probably should be maybe a little more standoffish than what you would naturally want to be. Isn't it true that'll hook the girl?

[Frank]

Yeah.

[Bert]

Isn't it true that, like, if you're a really super hot girl, like, you got guys that are jockeying for you all the time? So doesn't it make the guy that doesn't seem like he's fallen all over himself to get to you a little bit more special?

[Co-host Dave]

Definitely more attractive.

[Co-host Jill]

You want what you can't have.

[Co-host Dave]

Because I think that single girls and single guys are similar. They want the challenge, the thrill of the hunch. Yeah. You just have to be a little bit more of a challenge.

[Bert]

Hey, Kim. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller Kim/Melody]

Hi. Good morning.

[Bert]

Good morning.

[Caller Kim/Melody]

I have some advice For Frank.

[Co-host Melissa]

Okay.

[Frank]

Hi.

[Co-host Wendy]

How super hot are you?

[Caller Kim/Melody]

How what super hot am I? Well, I've not really struggled for a date, so pretty good. I would just say if you're confident and you act like you know what you want to do on the date, but not cocky. There's just that really fine line. Don't say things like, well, whatever you want to do. Just kind of go with it and suggest things and have a direction for the date.

[Co-host Dave]

So, like, hey, I was thinking about, you know, know of, like, these two really great sushi places or whatever. Like, have a plan, but still be flexible.

[Bert]

Do you have something that you already know you're doing tonight?

[Frank]

Yeah, I already got a reservation.

[Bert]

Oh, you do?

[Co-host Melissa]

He's got the plan.

[Bert]

And after dinner you're just gonna play it by ear.

[Frank]

Exactly.

[Co-host Jill]

Well, I was gonna say don't bring her back to your place because, I mean, if she's into you, she's gonna want to go back to your place and just, like, have like a nightcap or whatever. But if you make her not go to your place and just kind of blow her off, she's gonna be like, well, why didn't. Does he not want to make out with me? Does he not want me to spend the night? And then I just want to live

[Frank]

with my parents anyway, so that's cool.

[Bert]

You live with your parents?

[Frank]

No, I'm kidding.

[Bert]

This is going to take a totally different turn.

[Co-host Jill]

That was a yes.

[Bert]

I was ready to pounce. I'm like, wow, this is really going to be way more special than I thought.

[Co-host Wendy]

You know, Wendy. Wendy has a technique where she drinks so much that she can't stop laughing and loses all of her inhibitions. That might work for you.

[Co-host Melissa]

He doesn't need her to be drunk for his humor, too.

[Co-host Wendy]

No, I'm talking about him.

[Bert]

Are you offended by this guy, Melissa?

[Co-host Melissa]

No.

[Caller Kim/Melody]

Oh, okay.

[Bert]

Good morning, Q100. Who is this yellow choked to you?

[Co-host Wendy]

Dude, she's so hot, she's not even

[Frank]

going to talk to you, bert, the first 30 minutes.

[Bert]

Hey, John. Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Frank]

Hey, my advice to him is, whatever he does, do not kill kiss her that night.

[Co-host Wendy]

Hey, John, are you a super hot woman?

[Frank]

No.

[Co-host Dave]

Why do you say that, John?

[Frank]

Well, it worked for me. I've dated this girl, and basically, I mean, we have fun. I acted like myself. But I didn't kiss her at all that night. And we end up getting married, and 12 years later, we're married. Yeah.

[Bert]

Doesn't this fall under the. Doesn't this fall under the Umbrella of make the secure woman, the hottie feel a little insecure.

[Co-host Melissa]

Yes.

[Bert]

Same thing.

[Co-host Melissa]

Right? And it's like Wendy said, like, making her guess, like, well, why didn't he try to kiss me?

[Bert]

Like what?

[Co-host Melissa]

You know, not like me.

[Bert]

Good morning, Melody.

[Caller Kim/Melody]

Hey, what's up, guys?

[Bert]

You tell us what's going on.

[Caller Kim/Melody]

Well, as the single people in this world know, you don't. We already have enough douchebags in guys. So he wants to exude a sense of confidence, not really be too standoffish, but just be interested. But not give off a sense of complete vulnerability. But it just to show her that he's confident in being who he is, but that he's not gonna just completely be knocked over if she blows him off.

[Bert]

I think you got this already, dude. I think we're taking advice for a guy that doesn't need any advice.

[Co-host Wendy]

He's like, I know you got this,

[Co-host Dave]

but I think that not kissing her is good, specific advice, because confident or not, you're gonna want to. If she's that hot, it's gonna take everything in your power not to lean in for that. At the end of the night, I'll

[Caller Kim/Melody]

just eat garlic or onions.

[Co-host Dave]

Yeah, get some.

[Frank]

Game over.

[Bert]

You think you can pull this off? Like, you've got the most beautiful woman that you've ever dated right in front of you, and you're going to turn that down? Even a kiss tonight?

[Frank]

I have to wait until after. I don't know what she could do. I don't know about that one.

[Co-host Wendy]

I bet a lot. I bet a lot of guys are scared to fart in front of her.

[Co-host Melissa]

So is that your technique, Jill?

[Co-host Wendy]

Like, so when you're in the car with her alone, like, make sure the windows are up, then lock them so she can't put them down.

[Frank]

And then.

[Co-host Wendy]

And then let it rip and laugh hysterically.

[Bert]

I think that's all you need. I think that's it. I think Jeff's on you.

[Co-host Dave]

That is the cologne you want.

[Frank]

You guys.

[Co-host Dave]

What's up?

[Frank]

Hello?

[Bert]

Yeah, we're here.

[Frank]

I heard the music playing. Thought you guys were. That was my out music.

[Bert]

Well, it's gonna be, but you still got a couple sentences left in it.

[Frank]

Okay. Any good lounges like they go to if we do decide to go get drinks? I'm not really new to the area, but I really don't go to midtown that often. I stay up.

[Co-host Dave]

So that's where the dinner reservations are, is Midtown?

[Frank]

No, the dinner reservations are just outside the perimeter.

[Co-host Dave]

Okay.

[Bert]

Okay. So you want to take her into like midtown.

[Frank]

I don't know, just clowns. Like nothing. Nothing crazy, but you know, something nice. I don't want to go to a dive, Butter.

[Bert]

I bet we all have suggestions here. No clubs, just a loungey type deal.

[Co-host Wendy]

First place that come to mind, there's a place called the Clermont and a place called the Heretic.

[Co-host Melissa]

Just throwing it out there.

[Bert]

Yeah, I would say. You know what? I'll give my friend's place a plug here. 10 degrees south in Buckheadish Sandy Springs area has a lounge in the back that is. It's really pretty cool. It's a patioed area and it's really chilling. But it's always a cool vibe. And it would definitely be one on one time.

[Co-host Dave]

I would go with downtown. There's a place called Bazaar, which is really cool and it's kind of like a hip little loungey spot, which is a good date place.

[Frank]

What's it called again?

[Co-host Dave]

It's called Bazaar. It's called Bazaar or any of the W's.

[Bert]

I would say it's a great idea too. How about you, Wendy?

[Co-host Jill]

Trying to think six feet under has a great rooftop patio just to hang out and chill. And the vibe inside is really cool. But if you want to keep it like midtown y, I would do tap. Even Tap has a great patio. And it's just a really cool, chill place to like hang out and talk.

[Bert]

The rooftop over at the glen is open now also. And to me that's like one of the best places in the city to see a sunset. And that's loungy. So that might be pretty cool for you.

[Co-host Melissa]

I think these are good suggestions so that depending on how the date's going outside the perimeter, how much further in? So like, I don't know, go to midtown. But like you were saying that like the top of the Glen, like if it's going really well, you go into downtown. Yeah.

[Co-host Jill]

No making out.

[Co-host Wendy]

And never underestimate the bar at an outback steakhouse.

[Caller Kim/Melody]

Perfect.

[Co-host Wendy]

Get yourself one of them wallaby darns.

[Bert]

You really want to make her insecure? Yeah, take her there.

[Frank]

I was thinking McDonald's maybe. Hit a deeper side, get her sick. All right, man.

[Bert]

We'll talk to you on Monday, find out how it went. Okay?

[Frank]

All right, guys. I appreciate it.

[Co-host Dave]

You got this, Frank.

[Bert]

Yeah. You got it.

[Co-host Dave]

Don't kiss her.

[Bert]

Don't kiss her, man. The Birch Show.

[Fred's Appliance Advertiser]

Looking for a laundry upgrade? Swing into Fred's appliance and shop. The best selection of top rated washer and dryer sets come in today to take advantage of our Instant Stock Get It Today Inventory with the lowest price guaranteed At Pred's Appliance, we promise you will experience hassle free shopping with local expert help every step of the way. At Fred's, we still have the largest selection of in Stock Get It Today inventory in the region. We sell appliances only appliances.

[VRBO Advertiser]

At vrbo, we understand that even the best of plans sometimes need a little support. So so we planned for the plot twists. Every booking is automatically backed by our VRBO Care Guarantee, giving you confidence from the very start. Whenever you need help, it's ready before your stay, through the moments in between and after your trip. Because a great trip starts with peace of mind and maybe a good playlist. But we've got the peace of mind part covered day or night. VRBoCare is here 247 to help make every part of your stay seamless. If anything comes up or you simply need a little guidance, support is ready whenever you reach out from the moment you book to the moment you head home. We're here to help things run smoothly because a great trip starts with the right support. And hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either.