Vault: What Do You Do When You Get Blown Off Twice?

Summary

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The Bert Show: “Vault: What Do You Do When You Get Blown Off Twice?”

Date: December 31, 2025
Cast: Bert, Carol (Caller), Betty, and Show Commentators

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show focuses on the frustrations and confusion that can arise in the modern dating world—especially after being "blown off" or stood up multiple times. The main segment revolves around a listener, Carol, who shares her experience of being ghosted twice by the same man, prompting an in-depth panel discussion about dating red flags, single parenthood, emotional vulnerability, and realistic expectations in the search for companionship.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Carol’s Story: Two Strikes from the Same Guy

• Initial Encounter ([01:27-04:00]):
  • Carol meets a man at a bar, gives him her number, and he calls the very next day—seeming like a promising start.
  • After a phone conversation, they schedule a movie night at Carol’s place. However, when Carol calls to delay the time due to bedtime for her son, her call goes to voicemail; the man never arrives or calls back.
• Second Chance, Same Result:
  • Carol runs into the same man at the bar weeks later. He apologizes for standing her up, blames being "really, really busy," and charms her again.
  • They end up back at her place. After watching most of a movie and some flirtation, the man asks to "go all the way." Carol says no, he claims "I can wait," then says he’s grabbing something from his car—and never returns. ([04:00])

Memorable Moment:

“He’s like, I’m gonna go out to my car and get my car charger for my cell phone. I’ll be right back. He never came back.” – Carol ([04:00])

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2. Hosts' and Callers’ Reactions:

• Immediate Red Flags:
  • Bert and other hosts are shocked at the repeated disrespect, with Bert bluntly declaring:

    “What a moron. Legally, can we give this guy’s first name and last name out?” – Bert ([04:09])

• Questioning Carol’s Choices:
  • The hosts and callers ask why Carol gave the man a second chance, emphasizing that being stood up once is often a deal breaker.
  • Carol explains her vulnerability:

    “This is the first guy that I’ve seen since I’ve been single. I just got out of a three-year relationship, so this is all new to me…It gets lonely, you know, it’s hard.” – Carol ([05:51])

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3. Single Parenthood and Dating Standards ([05:12-08:07]):

• Challenges for Single Moms:
  • Another caller, also a single mother, highlights the importance of being cautious about who to bring around her child and home, even when lonely.
  • Emphasis on safety and emotional health—don’t let loneliness lower your standards dangerously.

Notable Quote:

“You don’t know who he is. God forbid he was somebody, some sort of lunatic…Sometimes you gotta think that way, especially when you have a child involved.” – Betty ([10:13])

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4. The Reality of Modern Dating

• Motivations and Manipulation:
  • Hosts discuss how some men, unfortunately, see vulnerability as an opportunity:

    “He saw you as soft.” – Burt ([07:56])
    “You’re vulnerable…so he’s thinking, this is a woman I can take advantage of.” – Burt ([07:59])

  • Many men’s intentions are described as primarily sexual; women, especially single moms, can be wrongly stereotyped as “easy targets.”

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5. Setting Boundaries and Managing Expectations ([08:12-09:41]):

• Know What You Want—and Why:
  • The conversation shifts to advice on knowing your intentions—whether for companionship, intimacy, or a relationship, and communicating those without apology.
  • Carol articulates her position:

    “I don’t want a relationship, but then I’m not gonna sleep with the first guy that I meet on first night, no matter what I want from him. You know, that’s just not me.” – Carol ([09:19])

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6. Panel’s Final Advice and Takeaways

• Actions Speak Louder Than Words:

  • Consistently, the hosts and guests stress that people show their character early, and repeated disrespect is a loud warning to walk away.

    “Forget about the words. Forget about what he says in the bar. He showed you what he was all about. And that speaks volumes way more than the words.” – Burt ([10:59])

  • Relationships don’t magically improve with people who can’t be bothered to show respect at the outset.

    “It will never get better in a relationship than the first couple of weeks, first couple of months of you dating.” – Burt ([06:04])
    “If he’s a jerk in the first five, ten minutes, it’s not gonna get any better than that.” – Commentator ([13:53])

• Don’t Take It Personally:

  • Carol is reminded not to take rejection or rudeness as a personal failing.

    “This has nothing to do with you…she’s taking it too personally. Like, he’s a jerk.” – Commentator ([12:45])

  • Emotional resilience and learning from these patterns is key.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “He never came back.” – Carol ([04:00])
• “What a moron. Legally, can we give this guy’s first name and last name out?” – Burt ([04:09])
• “I’d say the first time… he stood you up, at that point, I don’t know why you [gave another chance]…because you stand me up, it’s over…” – Burt ([04:16])
• “We are constantly showing you, but we don’t…choose not to acknowledge it.” – Burt ([12:57])
• “If he’s a jerk in the first five, ten minutes, it’s not gonna get any better than that.” – Commentator ([13:53])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Carol’s Story Unfolds: [01:27–04:00]
• Dissecting the Red Flags: [04:09–05:51]
• Parenting & Safety Concerns: [10:09–10:59]
• Dating Reality & Emotional Resilience: [12:07–13:53]

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Tone and Style

Maintaining a conversational, direct, and at times, bluntly humorous tone, the hosts balance empathy for Carol’s situation with forthright advice and a healthy dose of “tough love.” The dynamic maintains the show’s hallmark of authenticity mixed with laughter and candor.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode dives into the brutal truth of dating: people often reveal their intentions early on, and it’s critical, particularly for single parents, to recognize red flags, assert boundaries, and understand the importance of self-respect in the face of loneliness or vulnerability. The Bert Show offers both comfort and reality-checks, rooting for their listeners to demand more and settle less—especially after getting blown off not once, but twice.

Transcript

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[Commercial Announcer]

And we think you'd love it. But don't take our word for it, take theirs.

[Podcast Fan]

The thing I love most about Green Adventures is the interactive community. I've been listening for 10 years and.

[Carol]

Now I'm a sophomore in college.

[Podcast Fan]

The only podcast I've ever listened to for that long. Like there's nothing better.

[Carol]

There's no limit on what might happen, so just be prepared.

[Podcast Fan]

Top tier comedy right here. The best representation of sitting around with a group of idiots playing D and D. And it's not something you're just watching, it's something that you're experiencing.

[Podcast Promoter]

Download Greetings adventurers wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Carol]

Can't wait to see the next episode.

[Podcast Host]

Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.

[Burt]

The Burt Show Hey Cheryl.

[Carol]

Hey, good morning. How are ya?

[Burt]

Good, how are you today?

[Carol]

Good, thanks.

[Burt]

Detail for everybody, what you wrote in that email.

[Carol]

Okay, well, basically it started a couple months ago. I went to this bar that I go to about once a month and towards the end of the night I met this guy and we had about five minutes until the bar closed. So I gave him my number and he called me the next day. We talked for about an hour about like job, you know, personal stuff.

[Commentator 1]

So that's a good sign that you gave him the number. He called the next day.

[Betty]

Yeah.

[Commercial Announcer]

That's good.

[Commentator 1]

There was no three day waiting period or whatever.

[Betty]

Exactly.

[Carol]

So he told me to call him in two days. So I called him. It was like that Tuesday. I talked to him for a minute and then he said that he was going to come over the next day and we watch a movie. So I was like, all right. And he told me he'd be over around six. So when I was thinking about it that day, I was like, well, you know, he really needs to come over later because I have to put my son to bed. So I call his cell phone and it's not turned on, it's off.

[Burt]

It just rings and rings and rings or it goes to voicemail.

[Carol]

Ring. It went straight to voicemail. Okay, so I leave a message, not thinking anything of it. So needless to say, he never came over and he never called me again. So basically, last. The weekend before last, I went to the same place. I'm walking through to go see some friends of mine, and this guy pulls me to the side, and I was like, hey, how are you? And he goes, hey, do you remember me? And I was like, you look familiar, but, you know, no, not really. And he's like, I'm so. And so I'm like, oh, you're the guy that stood me up, you know? And he's like, yeah, I'm so sorry. I apologize. I've just been really, really busy. You know, you look really good tonight, blah, blah, blah. So he's like, I'm going to go take my friends home and I'll come back and hang out with you. So he takes his friends home and he comes back and we hang out, we talk for a while. And it was towards the end of the night again, and he asked me if I wanted to ride home. I said, yeah. So I left my car there. He took me home. He asked me what movie I wanted to watch. We put in a movie, watched just about the whole thing. And we fooled around a little bit, of course. And then he had asked me if I wanted to go all the way, and I told him no. And he goes, that's fine. I can wait. So I was like, all right, you know, this guy's a really nice guy. And then the movie's over, he asked me to pick out another one and go ahead and put it in. So I do. And he's like, I'm gonna go out to my car and get my car charger for my cell phone. I'll be right back. He never came back.

[Commentator 1]

So after you said you weren't going to go all the way, then he went to his car and left.

[Carol]

Yeah.

[Commentator 1]

Never saying goodbye.

[Carol]

Never saying goodbye.

[Burt]

What a moron. What a moron. Legally, can we give this guy's first name and last name out?

[Carol]

I don't know.

[Burt]

I just love to call a guy like this out. Well, first of all, I'd say the first time, okay, when he stood you up, at that point, I don't know why you just. Because you stand me up, it's over. That's it? No call, no nothing. I'm too busy even to leave you a voicemail message saying, I can't make it tonight.

[Podcast Promoter]

Jerk.

[Burt]

No way. That's it? Never even a second try.

[Carol]

Yeah, but See me, like, I'm really nice to people and y' all looked really good.

[Commentator 2]

I mean, really nice to people. I mean, all aside, you. You had the hots from that second night and you thought, why not? Right?

[Carol]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Burt]

Well, if you thought why not? Then when he said, you know, let's go all the way, why don't you just. I mean, because you, he, it sounds like you invited him over only because he was hot.

[Carol]

Not only because, I mean, keep in mind, we had talked before and we had really good conversation. But he blew you off before. I know, but I believed him. I thought he was really busy. Don't believe guys.

[Podcast Fan]

Save that.

[Commentator 2]

Carol, I want to ask a question and I'm not, you know, I'm not a mother. I'm just curious. As a single mother, I would think that you would even be more picky about the men you bring into your home. You know, and to me, I feel as though if I was a single mom and a guy stood me up, knowing that he stood me up after I left a message about having to put my child to bed, then he's gone, you know, so, I mean, that.

[Carol]

He came over, my son wasn't even there. I had somebody else watch him.

[Commentator 2]

Well, I mean, regardless of that, I'm just saying, as a single mom, is it not right? I guess you're not more picky than you, you know, necessarily.

[Carol]

I mean, this is the first guy that I've seen since I've been single. I mean, I just got out of a three year relationship, so this is all new to me, you know, I'm living by myself with my son. It gets lonely, you know, it's hard.

[Burt]

Yeah, I understand that. I do understand that. But know this also. Let me give the phone number out. People are Starting to call 404-741-1005. That it will never get better in a relationship than the first couple of weeks, first couple of months of you dating. So if a guy doesn't call you back, doesn't have the respect for you to even just spend five seconds on the phone and say, hey, I can't really talk right now. I'm busy. I'm so sorry I can't make it tonight, but let's do something in a couple of weeks. If he doesn't show you that kind of respect, women end the relationship. This is not a guy you want to be with. Unless there was a death in his family and he had to take off to California, end the relationship, it never gonna get any better than that. So when you Let him into his. In your house, and he blew you off the way he did. Even though dude's a total tool, it doesn't shock me. He showed you in the first hour, or I should say after that conversation, he showed you what he was all about. The. The very first time he tried to make communication with you, he showed you.

[Carol]

Why would he even talk to me a second time if there were tons of other girls?

[Betty]

He's just trying to get the pool.

[Commentator 2]

Because he's trying to get laid.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Commentator 1]

That'S what motivates men. Yeah. Sex is their ultimate motivator.

[Burt]

Now, you shouldn't even have to ask why. I mean, once you said to him. Once you said to him, look, we're not going to have sex tonight. And then he left and never called you back. Did you think in your mind, okay, maybe he was just in it for the sex?

[Carol]

Yeah, I knew that at that point. But my thing is, like, why pick me for the second time? There are other girls there with the, you know, the short skirts and the high boots, you know, and he could have had any of those other girls, but yet he wanted to talk to me again.

[Commentator 2]

Because you looked hot and you. And he showed interest before, and you were easier to get to than the other women.

[Carol]

Yeah. I mean, I could be.

[Burt]

He saw you as soft.

[Commentator 1]

You're vulnerable.

[Burt]

Yeah, you're vulnerable. I mean, he blew you off and he didn't call you back. Yet here you are still hanging out with him in a bar, talking to him. So he's thinking, this is a woman I can take advantage of.

[Commentator 2]

And you waited until he took his friends home and came back. So of course he knew it was an in.

[Carol]

Yeah.

[Commentator 1]

Well, and the other thing is, though, I want to know about advice for her because, like, she was saying how she's a single mom, she's doing a lot to raise her kid by herself, but it does get lonely, and she does want some action here and there, and it doesn't have to be Prince Charming every single time. She needs a little love. And you know what I'm saying? Like, what advice would you give to her on. On that sort of a thing? Well, on finding, like, on lowering her expectation.

[Commentator 2]

She was, to me, like, if a woman know, if, you know, if you're honest with yourself and, you know I'm going out to have sex tonight, then that's it. I mean, there's a lot of single moms that will do that, and then it has nothing to do with finding a father. Like, a lot of guys think women are Doing, but she wasn't doing that. She's thinking way too much about this guy, and she turned him down when he came over.

[Burt]

Yeah, I think you're talking about two different things. Like, if her intention was just to go out and have sex, make sure the child is somewh else, bring the dude home, have fun, do what you.

[Commentator 2]

Got to do, and see you later.

[Burt]

And then see you later. But she's all hurt that he just blew her off two different times.

[Commentator 1]

So it's about her kind of changing her expectations for filling that lonely void. Because I think you're trying to fill the lonely void with having somebody, you know, to mess around with and play around with, but then at the same time, you're expecting them to be Prince Charming.

[Carol]

Right. And that is true. Like, I don't want a relationship, but then I'm not gonna sleep with the first guy that I meet on first night, no matter what I want from him. You know, that's just not me.

[Burt]

So is it true, Crash, do you think it is true that when you meet single moms, that the impression. The stereotypical impression a guy would have is, like, this is an easy target because, you know, she wants to be in a relationship?

[Commentator 3]

I think it's kind of like twofold, really. I mean, first of all, as if you were a single guy, guys tend to put up a little bit of a barrier. They're gonna be a little bit more cautious when you're approaching a single mom because you've got that factor of the child. But I don't think they're, like, easy pickings or anything. I think, if anything, they're going to be a little bit more on their guard, too, because that's why. That's the way they're perceived. They're perceived as fish in a barrel, you know, like, oh, you're going to get the milfs and the moms, they're easy because they're desperate. You know, I would think they would think the opposite.

[Burt]

Good morning, Betty.

[Betty]

Good morning.

[Burt]

Hi.

[Betty]

How you doing?

[Burt]

Good. You're on with Carol.

[Betty]

Hey, Carol. My thing is, I think you need to be a bit more picky because I'm a single mother myself, and I can't have any guy who I'm not comfortable with around my child up until we get to the point where we have established some sort of commitment for one another. So you need to be a bit more picky as to who you bring into your home, because although your son wasn't at home at the time, you don't know this guy. From a can of worms. I mean, you don't know who he is. You don't know what he's about. God forbid he was somebody, some sort of lunatic that, you know could always come back and try to harm you and your child. I mean, I know I'm taking it to, you know, to an extent, but you gotta. Sometimes you gotta think that way, especially when you have a child involved.

[Burt]

Thanks, Betty. And I've said this a million times when it comes to dating, Forget about the words. Forget about what he says in the bar. He showed you what he was all about. And that speaks volumes way more than the words. The dude didn't call you back, right? He blew you off. He stood you up.

[Commentator 2]

And, Carol, I think that, you know, maybe it's just like Jen was, you know, talking about earlier, just a naivety. Because you have to remember, you said in the first time you met this guy, you gave him your number five minutes before the bar closed.

[Carol]

Right.

[Commentator 2]

Okay.

[Burt]

So, I mean, that's when great relationships are born.

[Commentator 2]

Yeah.

[Commentator 3]

That's a scenario before the lights come on.

[Commentator 2]

Exactly. That's a scenario of there's only one thing on both of your minds. You know what, it's the end of the evening, you're getting together, and the fact that you had told him you got to put your child to bed gave him the idea that, well, he's not gonna get that tonight. So he just blew you off. So I think you just need to understand what's going on in the dating scene and what different scenarios mean.

[Carol]

Right, right. That's true. I mean, I should have paid more attention to it. I'm really friendly and I get along with everybody.

[Burt]

I get it. And the thing is, that's nice.

[Commentator 2]

And my thing is. Okay, so you see him, the he approaches you again. I mean, it's fine to go back to him, but understand what you're going back to him for, you know, I mean, like, you're. You're way emotionalizing this when it's just a matter of he was trying to get some he couldn't get, and he left.

[Burt]

That's right. I've never heard of a guy being that rude before. Right?

[Commentator 1]

Yeah.

[Burt]

I mean, after the first, I want.

[Commentator 1]

To take away from the fact that he was a real jerk.

[Burt]

Total jerk. He was totally rude twice. I mean, after that first movie, when it was established, look, this isn't gonna happen. He probably, you know, should have said, all right, thanks so much. I appreciate the movie. Thanks. And do what we normally do. I'll give you a call and then never call back.

[Commentator 1]

Agree.

[Commentator 2]

But she's taking it personally, you know?

[Podcast Host]

Yeah.

[Burt]

This has nothing to do with you.

[Commentator 2]

She's taking it too personally. Like, he's a jerk.

[Burt]

Yeah.

[Carol]

Yeah.

[Commentator 1]

All right, Carol, good luck. I know it's hard. I know it's got to be really.

[Burt]

Hard because her just has the sign.

[Podcast Fan]

Of a beat down, dad.

[Burt]

All right. I just. You know what? It's just we take these calls day in and day out and day in from both men and women, and we constantly show each other what we're all about. We are constantly showing you, but we don't. We do see it, but we choose not to acknowledge it. I mean, we wouldn't have a show if people took this advice. But the truth is, this guy showed you what he was made of the very first time he didn't call and he stood you up. He showed no respect. And I think you could say this in a lot of different relationships. We'll show you right off the bat what we're all about.

[Commentator 2]

And I think Burt made a great point. And Carol, I don't think this is a scenario that's just unique to single moms because guys are jerks to single women who were. Who aren't parents. And. And I think the Bert's point of we, you know, people put their best foot forward at the very beginning. You know, especially if they're interested in somebody, they're going to show you their best first. And then the more you get to know them, then the worst comes out. And so, yeah, if he's a jerk like Bert said In the first five.

[Burt]

10 minutes, it's not gonna get any better than that.

[Commentator 2]

It's not gonna get any better.

[Burt]

Yeah, yeah, he's gonna end up on Cops. If this is the way he treats you the first 24 hours, then that's your future cops. All right, Carol.

[Betty]

Okay.

[Commentator 1]

Good luck, sweetie.

[Burt]

Bye bye. The Bird Show.

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[Podcast Host]

Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

[Podcast Promoter]

Greetings Adventurers is the longest running Dungeons and Dragons actual play, a comedy podcast that has been putting out episodes each and every week since 2012.

[Commercial Announcer]

And we think you'd love it. But don't take our word for it. Take theirs.

[Podcast Fan]

The thing I love most about Greetings Adventures is the interactive community. I've been listening for 10 years and now I'm a sophomore in college, the only podcast I've ever listened to for that long. There's nothing better.

[Carol]

There's no limit on what might happen, so just be prepared.

[Podcast Fan]

Top tier comedy right here. The best representation of sitting around with a group of idiots playing D and D. And it's not something you're just watching, it's something that you're experiencing.

[Podcast Promoter]

Download Greetings Adventurers wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Carol]

Can't wait to see the next episode.

[Podcast Host]

ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.