Vault: What Do You Do When You're Caught In The Middle Of A Love Triangle?

Summary

The Bert Show Podcast Summary

Episode Title: Vault: What Do You Do When You're Caught In The Middle Of A Love Triangle?
Date: March 3, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into a complex real-life relationship dilemma, sparked by an email from a listener who discovers she's the “other woman” in a love triangle. As the team grapples with whether and how to tell the unsuspecting fiancée about her partner's infidelity, the panel (with Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, and other familiar voices) opens up about honesty, responsibility, and the pain of betrayal.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener’s Story: The Love Triangle (01:01–05:43)

• Situation Recap: The listener, Lee, unknowingly had an on-and-off relationship with a man who was actually in a committed relationship and recently became engaged. She found out the truth only after noticing a congratulatory engagement card in his kitchen.
• Lee’s Feelings: She feels deceived and hurt, realizing the man lied repeatedly and manipulated both women.
• Evidence: The man's Facebook status shift to “engaged” shortly before he slept with Lee triggered suspicion.
• Quoting Lee: "You are so full of. Are you gonna tell your fiance that you slept with me once you were in a committed relationship and once again, only days after you asked her to spend the rest of your life with you?" – Lee (04:26)

2. Group Reenactment: Email Drama Played Out (03:07–05:43)

• Dramatic Reading: Wendy (as Lee) and “Judge Andy” (as the cheating fiancé) dramatize the heated email exchange, emphasizing the rawness and emotional turmoil.
• Memorable Moment: "So it's a love story." (05:47, sarcastically by the host after the reading)
• Panel’s Reaction: Sympathy for Lee and strong distaste for the fiancé’s excuses and evasions.

3. Should They Tell the Fiancée? Ethics Debate (06:00–12:45)

• The Dilemma: The hosts debate whether they should be the messengers to break the news to the fiancée, with various considerations:

  • Embarrassment for the fiancée: “If she knows already and we've just embarrassed her, that's terrible.” (06:24)
  • If she doesn’t know: “If you screw around before you get into the marriage, chances are pretty good you're gonna screw around once you get in.” (06:51)
  • Personal Responsibility: Some panelists reflect they'd want to know if they were the fiancée.
  • Process: Suggestion to approach the fiancée off the air to avoid public humiliation and allow agency in telling her own story.

• Notable Quote:
  “I'd rather...someone tell me. Don't let me be a fool sitting here marrying this man that I don't know is cheating on me...I'd have a lot more respect for the person that told me.”
  – Ronnie, co-panelist (07:28)

4. How to Proceed? Practical Solutions & Emotional Impact (12:12–15:48)

• Contact Plan: If Lee can get information about the fiancée via “Blue Dog investigators,” she’ll contact the fiancée herself and update the show off-air.

• Lee’s Motivations:
  “I would want to know. I would want to know.” – Lee (12:51)
  “Every time I would come over there, you never would know that there was a girlfriend in his life. I just feel like he's doing a lot of lying.” – Lee (15:10)

• Panel Consensus: Best to minimize embarrassment for the fiancée and let the other woman (Lee) handle the disclosure if possible.

• Caller Testimonies:

  • Sarah (13:40): Shares a personal story of marrying a cheater, warning that “the pain never goes away,” and urges honesty to prevent lifelong regret:
    “That pain never goes away, huh?” – Host (13:58)
    “No, it never goes away at all. Especially when you bring children into the mix and you look back… People knew. And nobody wanted to be the one to break the news.” – Sarah (13:59–14:15)

5. Summary & Decision (14:40–16:02)

• Plan of Action: Hand the investigation to Blue Dog, get the fiancée’s contact details, and let Lee decide how to proceed, reporting back if she wishes.
• Closing Tone: The team expresses distaste for the “double life” nature of the cheater and emphasizes the need for truth.

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Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• “You are a liar and a cheat and you know it. You have no business getting married, you psychopath.” – Lee (04:00)
• “It's the timing of it. Like, they're engaged now, and I think if you screw around before you get into the marriage... chances are pretty good you're gonna screw around once you get in.” – Host (06:51)
• “Do we want to be that person?” – Host, on whether to break the news (07:59)
• “If I had a way to contact her, I would have...But I feel like she's got to know what she's getting into.” – Lee (11:37)
• “That pain never goes away, huh?” / “No, it never goes away at all... People knew. And nobody wanted to be the one to break the news.” – Host and Sarah (13:58–14:15)

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Important Timestamps

| Time | Segment | |-----------|----------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:01 | Email: Listener lays out the cheating scenario | | 03:07 | Dramatic reading of email/text exchange | | 05:47 | Panel transitions to ethical debate | | 06:16 | Should the Bert Show intervene and inform the fiancée? | | 07:28 | Personal reflections on wanting to know about a cheater | | 12:12 | Concrete plan for contacting the fiancée | | 13:40 | Sarah calls in with her cautionary tale | | 14:40 | Panel finalizes protocol: Let Lee contact the fiancée | | 15:10 | Lee on the cheater’s “double life” | | 15:46 | Playful banter about suspicious Sunday patterns |

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Final Thoughts & Takeaways

• The group agrees: Honesty—delivered thoughtfully and privately—should prevail before serious commitments are made.
• The show handles the dilemma with empathy, humor, and practical sensitivity, prioritizing the well-being and dignity of the fiancée.
• Multiple listeners' stories make clear: knowing the truth before marriage can change the course of a life.

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Listeners were left awaiting an update, but the unanimous advice: If you know, find a way to tell—even if it’s uncomfortable. The pain of truth is better than the pain of lifelong betrayal.

Transcript

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[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

show all right, so the email reads like this, and this is a tight one here. We're not exactly sure what to do with this, so we're looking for your input. I mean, it really does come down to a very simple question. Like if you're the one that knows that the dude is screwing around on another woman, do you try to find and tell the woman or do you just let it ride? That's really the question here. Here's how the email goes. Found out on Sunday. This guy that I've had an on and off relationship with for the past year has been in a relationship the whole time and he just got engaged. Apparently he got engaged a little over a week ago, but on Sunday 9 21, he invited me over to watch some football and hang out. We ended up sleeping together and I stayed the night. So unbeknownst to me, he'd proposed marriage to a girl I don't even know existed and then slept with me. I found out this past Sunday when he again invited me over for dinner and watch football. He changed his Facebook status last week to engaged, but I but I thought it was a joke. When I asked him about it, he basically didn't answer and avoided the question. But when I asked. But when I walked into his kitchen on Sunday, there was a congratulations on your engagement card on his counter. And I read it and then asked him and he confirmed that yes, he's engaged. I have no idea who this girl is. I think the name of the card said blank. But she needs to know what is going on. I need the Burchow's help to reach out to this girl or maybe her friends and tell her what a sleazy is. I want her to know all the Facts. Because I'm certain he's lying to her. He told me that she knows about you, that one of his neighbors told her so he had to confess. I don't believe it for a second that she knows or even knows what really happened. Can you guys help me? There was an exchange between the two of them that may make it more clear to you on how deep this thing is before we get into debating. Okay. On if we should do this or not. So this is the exchange between our listener that wants to call this dude out and the dude himself over the last couple of days. And it's being played by. Wendy is playing the part of our listener and mean judge Andy is the lion. Cheating bastard.

[Caller or Panelist (possibly Ronnie)]

Okay. AOL.com.

[The Other Woman (Listener)]

you're a monster and a coward.

[The Cheating Man]

Not avoiding you hellacious problems today. Since Wachovia went under over the weekend, my day has been on the phone, avoiding all of my emails and everyone is scared and running for the hills. Not avoiding you. Just was leaving you alone. You saw I was engaged and I didn't hide it from you. Although I underestimated how much of it you got. And I told you a friendship was what we needed. My concern for you after you broke up was sincere and backed by my actions afterwards.

[The Other Woman (Listener)]

You are a liar. You should have told me you were dating someone last Sunday when I came over. You should have told me you proposed marriage to someone only days earlier.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jeff)]

And.

[The Other Woman (Listener)]

And all summer you sent me suggestive emails. You were in a relationship. Even last May, only days after the last time we slept together, you changed your status to in a relationship and I asked you about it in an email and you lied, saying you did it to avoid spam email or some such. You're a liar and a cheat and you know it. You have no business getting married, you psychopath. And you know it. Okay, of course you don't have the dignity to respond. You broke my heart.

[The Cheating Man]

I'm sorry you took it that way. I told you what it was. I admit the mistake of taking it beyond that and felt like we reckoned beyond that. But I guess I was wrong. If I misled you, then I'm sorry. That was not intended.

[The Other Woman (Listener)]

You are so full of. Are you gonna tell your fiance that you slept with me once you were in a committed relationship and once again, only days after you asked her to spend the rest of your life with you?

[The Cheating Man]

She knows about you. She's not happy at all with me, not anywhere close.

[The Other Woman (Listener)]

Oh, sure she does. Like all of a sudden you tell the truth, please. You haven't been Honest with me. I don't think since the moment I. And, God do I regret that day.

[The Cheating Man]

My neighbors across the street told her, and I had to confess. Can't spend all that time at my house watching a game and my desperate housewife of a neighbor not make a few calls. I swear, I live on Wisteria Lane.

[The Other Woman (Listener)]

Oh, so you got caught. Makes more sense, because no way are you man enough to confess on your own. So she only knows about last week, not the time in May when you romanced me in your hammock. She needs to find out about that, too, And I can't believe it, but it sounds like you feel sorry for yourself or blame your neighbors. Unbelievable.

[The Cheating Man]

Not sorry for myself. Look, don't be surprised if you see a for sale sign in front of my house. And in today's market, I'll be taking a bath. Feeling sorry for myself is the last of my problems right now. Dead last.

[The Other Woman (Listener)]

But it's still all about you, isn't it? Selfish bastard. I would tell you that I've been catatonic and crying on my couch since I left your house yesterday, but I know you don't have the emotional reach to care about anyone or anything that doesn't have to do directly with you.

[Co-host or Panelist (possibly Wendy)]

Hate you.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

So it's a love story.

[Co-host or Panelist (possibly Wendy)]

That was a great reenactment.

[The Other Woman (Listener)]

I didn't probably hate you, and I

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jeff)]

feel like I gotta go. Give Wendy a hug or something'll be okay.

[Co-host or Panelist (possibly Wendy)]

I love Andy's deadpan delivery.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Now the debate begins. Like, do we want to be the middle person here? Because she doesn't know anybody in between. Do we want to take on that role here? I mean, I guess we've done it before with, like, War of the Roses. Never real comfortable with that. Sure, it was a ratings winner, but this just feels so dirty.

[Caller or Panelist (possibly Ronnie)]

Do we. I mean, are we believing that she knows? Because if the. If the fiance already knows, then what's the point?

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

I don't believe that.

[The Other Woman (Listener)]

I don't think she knows. Definitely doesn't know.

[Co-host or Panelist (possibly Wendy)]

There is a possibility that she does, and that would be embarrassing for her if she's decided to stay with her fiance. Or even if she's decided that. I'm sorry. Even if she doesn't know, and we're the ones that call and break it to her. I just think it's gonna be really embarrassing for the other girl. Like, I don't care about him at all, but for the other woman. You know, a lot of women stay through a lot of things, and so she may say. She may know already about the hammock and everything else.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Here's the thing about it that. That's bothering me so much. It's the timing of it. Like, he's. They're engaged now, and I think if you screw around before you get into the marriage, and chances are pretty good you're gonna screw around once you get in. He's engaged and he's screwing around. So there's an opportunity here to let her know what he's really like before they ever walk down the aisle together,

[Caller or Panelist (possibly Ronnie)]

you know, on the off chance she doesn't know.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

On the off chance she doesn't know. Whereas if you're already married or if

[Co-host or Panelist (possibly Wendy)]

she doesn't know, that my answer out of it.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Yeah, I don't know if you're married if my answer would be the same. I don't know.

[Caller or Panelist (possibly Ronnie)]

I mean, I've always said that I'd rather. I want. I want somebody to tell me, you know, Like I. I've always said I'd have a lot more respect for the person that told me because I know a lot of people say, I don't want to get involved. I don't want to get in the middle of it. It's none of my business. Well, I understand where you're coming from, but as the person being cheated on, somebody tell me, don't let me be a fool sitting here marrying this man that I don't know is cheating on me after I was all romanticized in all this engagement. I have his ring on everything. And he slept with another woman after I got engaged. So I've always been like, somebody tell him.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Do we want to be that person?

[The Other Woman (Listener)]

Well, who else is going to tell her? Well, she's the only one that sort of knows is the other woman. Because he. All he said was supposedly the neighbors that told him told her.

[Co-host or Panelist (possibly Wendy)]

Jeff, what do you think?

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Sounded like he had something to say.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jeff)]

Well, I say go for it. Like I was gonna. You said, who else is going to tell him? Like, she. The problem is she doesn't have a way to find this woman.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Good morning. Q100.

[Caller (possibly Sarah)]

Yes, I just think that you guys should go ahead and tell her about

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

it because I think the.

[Caller (possibly Sarah)]

I guess the woman that he's been

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

sleeping with that's not his fiance, she probably doesn't want to tell her because she probably doesn't think the other woman will believe her. That's how I would look at it.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

The original constructor writer of the email is on hold. I'm just afraid to put her on

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jeff)]

because I'm Afraid she's gonna start screaming as first to last lose her mind.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Good morning, stacia. You're on Q100.

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

Good morning.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Good morning.

[Caller (possibly Sarah)]

I wanted to make a comment about

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

that because I've had that situation happen

[Caller (possibly Sarah)]

to me, and so I know how that girl feels. I mean, I think that if you're going to cheat before you're in a committed relationship, you're going to cheat while

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

you're in the committed relationship.

[Caller (possibly Sarah)]

And it's best that she know what she's getting into.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

That really does play, like, a big part in this for me. Like, we could stop. I guess my theory is that if you're screwing around when you're engaged, I think you pretty much are thinking that you're gonna be screwing around when you're married. And she should at least know what she's getting into before she walks down the aisle and spends the rest of her life with this guy.

[Caller or Panelist (possibly Ronnie)]

Well, she's not gonna spend the rest of her life with this guy.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jeff)]

Well, in the next couple years.

[Caller or Panelist (possibly Ronnie)]

Right.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

So where are we with it?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jeff)]

Tell her.

[The Other Woman (Listener)]

I want to tell her yet.

[Caller or Panelist (possibly Ronnie)]

I'll call her.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jeff)]

It's Mistress Lost and Found.

[Caller or Panelist (possibly Ronnie)]

I mean, I see what Jen's saying, though, about. We don't want to embarrass her because she, you know, it's very. He's the one that's the bad guy, not the fiance and not our listener. He's the bad guy. So I think that the way we do it is important, too, because. Yeah, I don't think you don't want

[Co-host or Panelist (possibly Wendy)]

to embarrass her because, say, she does know. I mean, he said the neighbors told. Well, that. I don't really buy that or whatever, but on the 1% chance that that is true, that the neighbor told, but she's like, you know what? I'm just gonna get past this and get over it. My family's excited. I'm excited. Everybody knows we're engaged now. I can't turn around now or whatever. On the off chance that she knows. And then we call and embarrass her further. I mean, we'll use the voice disguiser and fake names and all that stuff, right?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jeff)]

Yeah. Well, I don't even think we put her voice on the air. We talked her off the air, give her a heads up what's going on. Then she has the option to come on the air directly with. What are we calling her? Lee? Who is the mistress? The unknown, the unwilling mistress. Right. And if she doesn't want to do that, then we connect the two of Them off the air with the promise that Lee just gives us an update.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

I'll put Lee on here in just a second on the voice disguiser, Jeff. But will you have a conversation with her quickly off the air and let her know that we don't want any details and we're gonna play fair for right now until we figure out what we're doing. You got it. I trust you.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jeff)]

Hey, baby,

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

if this was a one time thing and not a year long relationship, would it change your attitude about it?

[Co-host or Panelist (possibly Wendy)]

No, I don't think so.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

No.

[Caller or Panelist (possibly Ronnie)]

Especially if it was after he proposed to her.

[Co-host or Panelist (possibly Wendy)]

Yeah. That's what makes it bad.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Here is the writer of the email and we're have to be really careful with her. Hey, Lee, do you understand the circumstance around here? We don't want to embarrass.

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

No, absolutely. And that's not, that's, that's totally not my point at all. I understand that it's a sensitive subject and if I had a way to contact her, I would have done so. I would have figured out a way. But I feel like she's got to know what she's getting into and I don't think that he's being truthful with her at all. And I just want her to have all the facts in front of her. She can make her own decision, but I just want her to know what she's getting into. And I just don't feel like she's going to get that information from him. He's not going to tell that he's not telling the truth. He hasn't told the truth to me in a year.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

So let me ask you this. So if we found out who she was off the air, like let's say we use our Blue Dog investigators, who has kicked ass for us.

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

Yeah.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

We found out off the air and provided you with the information. You could make the call and then you could come back and you could tell us the results of it.

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

Sure thing. Absolutely. I don't want to. That's, you know, I agree with Jen. I, you know, I understand that it is a sensitive subject and I don't want to call her out and embarrass her. I just didn't know of any other way to try to get in touch with her. She's not on his Facebook page. There are no pictures of her. I mean, literally the only thing that's changed on his Facebook page is his status.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

And you are, and you are strong in your feeling that she needs to know before they get married.

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

I think so. I mean, I would want to know. I would want to know.

[Co-host or Panelist (possibly Wendy)]

I think that's definitely a good plan for us to get you in touch with her. And I was going to ask you at what, you know, what lengths did you go to try to find out who she is? Because in your email, you said you had a potential first name. We don't want you to use it right now, but you had a potential first name.

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

I only saw that in the card that Sunday when I went over there. And that's the first mention of that name. I mean, I didn't even know she existed until that day. And I emailed him and kind of asked him because I thought it was a joke. And so I emailed and said, hey, congratulations,

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Lee. Hold on one second.

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

Yeah.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Good morning, Q100. Hey, Sarah.

[Caller (possibly Sarah)]

I think I definitely need to tell her it happened to me. Everybody at my wedding knew it happened. She wanted to ruin my fantasy, as they said. Two kids later, 32 years old, and I'm still going through hell. You guys have got to tell her. Do not let her ruin her life like that.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

That pain never goes away, huh?

[Caller (possibly Sarah)]

No, it never goes away at all. Especially when you bring children into the mix and you look back and I could have had. I could have done. I could have had a different life. And you didn't. And people knew. And nobody wanted to be the one to break the news or.

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

But in.

[Caller (possibly Sarah)]

But true friends or anyone that cares, someone needs to tell.

[Caller or Panelist (possibly Ronnie)]

Yeah.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

The timing of this, you know, before you have a chance here maybe to save these two lives, I agree with you on that. The timing of it changes everything for me. Hey, Ronnie, you're on Q100.

[Caller (possibly Sarah)]

Yeah, I just want to say I think you guys should tell her and don't think about as being positive or negative for either side of them and think of it as that you're going to help divorce statistics in America.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

All right, Lee is back. So do we all feel the same way about this? That we can do what we can. We'll give this over to Tracy at Blue Dog and she can do the investigation for us, and then we'll turn this on over to you, Lee. And then once we get the name, and then you can do with it what you want, and then you can tell us what happened off the air.

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

I'm happy with that. Absolutely.

[Co-host or Panelist (possibly Wendy)]

I think that's good. I think that saves her from any embarrassment. Her family, you don't know if, you know, he's from here, she's from here. They're, you know, respect, extend family, listening.

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

I feel like, he's living, like, two lives. I mean, I just, you know, every time I would come over there, I mean, you never would know that there was a girlfriend in his life. I don't know if he's taking down pictures or she really just wasn't over there much. But I just feel like he's doing a lot of lying. And I actually emailed him yesterday and just to see if, you know, he was still engaged, and he said that it was still up in the air, basically. I don't believe him.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Yeah, you can't believe a thing he says.

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

I can't believe anything he says. That night that we slept together told me that he loves me. Twice during.

[The Other Woman (Listener)]

Whoa.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

All right, let's do this.

[Co-host or Panelist (possibly Wendy)]

I just wonder what the fiance does on Sunday nights. She must be busy.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Busy, busy, busy.

[Co-host or Panelist (possibly Wendy)]

Because that's the nights that he was inviting her over.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Is that it? Sunday nights?

[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

That was your two Sundays in a row. It's weird. It's so bizarre.

[Caller or Panelist (possibly Ronnie)]

Two Sundays in a row.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

Two Sundays in a row.

[The Cheating Man]

Bizarre.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

That sounds reasonable. All the way around.

[Caller or Panelist (possibly Ronnie)]

Yeah.

[Show Host (possibly Jen or Tracy)]

New dog will take care of this.

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[Listener/Caller (possibly Lee)]

Oh, no.

[The Other Woman (Listener)]

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[Co-host or Panelist (possibly Wendy)]

Wow.

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