Vault: What embarrassing thing happened at the gym?

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault – What Embarrassing Thing Happened at the Gym?

Episode Date: July 14, 2026
Cast: Bert Show team including Wendy, Joanna, Katie, Jen Fallon, Host & Guests

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Episode Overview

In this hilarious and relatable episode, the Bert Show team dives into embarrassing gym stories after a cryptic tweet from Producer Joanna. The main focus centers around Wendy’s mortifying gym mishap, which leads to a broader, candid discussion on body image, changing sizes, and the emotional impact of clothing failures. The conversation is lively and filled with laughter, supportive moments, and a few surprising calls from listeners.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Joanna’s Mysterious Tweet Sets the Stage

[01:01 – 01:18]

• The team picks up on Joanna’s tweet:

  "OMG, I am SO embarrassed. I can NEVER return to my gym again."

• They speculate wildly about what could have happened, from falling off the treadmill to an explosive bout of flatulence.

2. The Big Reveal: Wendy’s Wardrobe Malfunction

[01:37 – 03:13]

• Wendy admits the true story:
  • She discovered a huge hole in the butt of her gym pants, possibly caused by a fart.
  • She was oblivious to it during her workout and even as she ran to the gym.
• Notable Quote:

  “I had a huge hole in the butt of my pants that I wore to the gym from a fart.” — Wendy ([01:59])

• Wendy’s embarrassment is compounded by the realization that she passed many people while jogging, who probably saw the hole.
• The crowd erupts in laughter as Wendy jokes about fire drills and stop-drop-and-roll maneuvers.

3. The "Thong at the Gym" Debate

[02:46 – 03:07]

• The team is both shocked and amused to learn Wendy wears a thong to the gym.
• Wendy stands firm on her underwear choice, claiming comfort:

  “No, I wear a thong all the time.” — Wendy ([02:52])

4. “Why Didn’t Anyone Tell Me?” – The Importance of ‘Girl Code’

[03:38 – 04:05]

• The group debates whether another woman at the gym should have discreetly pointed out Wendy’s wardrobe malfunction.
• Notable Quote:

  “A woman should pull you aside... wrap your jacket around me and say, honey, go home now.” — Wendy ([04:01])

5. Body Image, Sizing, and the Emotional Side of Clothing

[04:20 – 07:00]

• Wendy shares another vulnerable moment:
  • Buying jeans for her birthday and discovering her regular size no longer fits.
• The group dives into the pain and psychology of “sizing up,” especially on a birthday.
• Notable Quotes:

  “Now I have to go up another size.” — Wendy ([05:37])
  “It's a defeating moment.” — Katie ([06:13])

• The conversation touches on how many women avoid trying on clothes in-store, preferring the emotional safety of home.

6. Age, Metabolism, and Lifestyle

[06:41 – 08:19]

• Wendy reflects on how her metabolism and body have changed since her teens, despite being “only 26.”
• Katie offers perspective from turning 40, arguing that lifestyle and habits drive far more change than biology, but acknowledges both factors at play.
• The group discusses how body changes (including during pregnancy) are met with denial or reluctance to buy new clothes.

7. Listener Call: Growing Out of Jeans – and an Unexpected Reason

[08:19 – 08:57]

• A young caller (almost 21) joins in, sharing her journey from size 3/4/5 to now a 7.
• She shares her mother’s unusual theory:

  “My mom says my thighs are getting bigger because I'm having sex.” — Young Female Caller ([08:55])

• The team laughs, noting it would make a memorable abstinence campaign.

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• “I didn’t feel a draft at all—how did I not feel a draft?” — Wendy ([02:42])
• “Stop, drop, and roll!” — Katie, riffing on the pants-fart mishap ([03:21])
• “You know who I've got a problem with? The other women in the gym! They didn’t tell me.” — Unidentified Female Guest ([03:42])
• “Is it worth holding onto clothes you know don’t fit rather than just accept you’ve gone up a size?” — Host ([06:13])
• "That's a defeating moment." — Katie ([06:13])
• “That is an abstinence campaign right there.” — Jen Fallon ([08:58])

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Segment Timestamps

• [01:01] – Introduction to Joanna’s embarrassing gym tweet
• [01:59] – Wendy’s Big Reveal: Hole in the pants story
• [02:46] – Thong at the gym debate
• [03:38] – ‘Girl code’ and not noticing the hole
• [04:20] – Birthday jeans shopping and sizing struggles
• [06:41] – Metabolism, lifestyle, and body changes with age
• [08:19] – Caller: Sizing up and unexpected ‘reasons’
• [08:58] – Team jokes about abstinence campaign

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Tone & Takeaways

This episode is equal parts comedy and commiseration—raw, uproarious honesty about cringe-worthy moments and insecurities. Underneath the laughter, the crew offers genuine empathy about body changes and the pressures of modern womanhood, reminding listeners it’s okay to laugh at yourself and share the struggle.

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Transcript

[Wendy]

Hey, everybody.

[Lady Luck]

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[McDonald's Promoter]

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[Announcer]

Refreshers contain caffeine. The bird show.

[Host]

All right, Wendy, you saw the cryptic tweet yesterday.

[Wendy]

Yeah, I saw it.

[Joanna]

And Joanna posted. Producer Joanna posted it. And I immediate was like, what is this all about? This is the quoted tweet. Caps omg. I am caps so embarrassed. I can capital letters never return to my gym again.

[Wendy]

Dot, dot dot.

[Joanna]

And then she obviously got a response back from Jen Fallon who's been on the show, and she responds to Jen, worse than falling off the treadmill. Although that is one of my biggest fears.

[Katie]

So it's so you didn't fall off

[Joanna]

the treadmill, but it's something than that.

[Host]

All right, let's try to guess. Let's try to guess. Go around the room and guess.

[Katie]

Well, I'd have to defer to what Jen said earlier.

[Jen Fallon]

Yeah, I said earlier that you tooted on the treadmill.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

You totally farted.

[Jen Fallon]

All right. Really, really loud.

[Host]

That would be the initial. Yeah, Unless something ripped.

[Katie]

I mean, what? Yeah, something more embarrassing than falling split your pants.

[Wendy]

Am I allowed to tell you?

[Host]

Anybody else with any other guesses?

[Katie]

It's got to be fart.

[Wendy]

I had a huge hole in the butt of my pants that I wore to the gym from a fart.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

So you didn't split them at the gym, but you had a hole when you went there?

[Wendy]

Yes, and I did not know until I was washing my clothes yesterday and I was folding them and I picked up the pants and I was like, omg, how long did these just happen in the wash? Like, I'm hoping that it happened in the wash and it got bigger, but it probably didn't.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

And here's how big was it?

[Wendy]

It was a big Enough hole. And I mean, I have a big butt, so it looks even bigger on my butt.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Cause I'm sure it's like a quarter size nickel size. You're probably exaggerating it.

[Wendy]

I know. I'll bring in the pants and show you. They were huge. It was huge.

[Joanna]

And I'm surprised.

[Wendy]

I didn't feel like, you know, a draft. How did I not feel a draft?

[Jen Fallon]

Were you wearing regular underwear or.

[Wendy]

No, I was wearing a thong.

[Jen Fallon]

A thong?

[Host]

Wear a thong to the gym.

[Jen Fallon]

Shoot.

[Wendy]

Yeah, that would be gym. No, I wear a thong all the time.

[Host]

So is it comfortable at the gym?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Jen Fallon]

Yeah. If you wear it all the time,

[Host]

you don't even notice.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

So is the hole somewhere where it would be pervy, or was it just big old butt cheek?

[Wendy]

No, it was like, in the middle.

[Announcer]

Oh, no.

[Katie]

So when you farted and caused this hole, did you have to scoot on your butt to get the fire out of your fever?

[Wendy]

They actually threw me on the ground and started rolling.

[Katie]

You? Yeah. Put the fire out, stop, drop, and roll.

[Wendy]

But the worst part is that I run to the gym because it's a few miles. So I started thinking, every car that passed me. Oh, probably saw me. And I do remember getting stared at a lot. And I was like, why isn't much good today? Cause everyone's staring at me.

[Jen Fallon]

Oh, no.

[Wendy]

Oh, it's so embarrassing. I don't think I can go back. I'm gonna cancel my membership.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

You know who I've got a problem with in this. In this whole situation are the other women at the gym.

[Host]

Yeah. Shouldn't they tell you?

[Unidentified Female Guest]

They didn't tell me. Because a woman should pull you aside like a guy. Can't do it. Cause it kind of. It's creeper. But a woman should pull you aside and go, hey, I just want to let you know and fill in the blank.

[Wendy]

Come over and wrap your jacket around me and say, honey, go home now.

[Host]

So if you're not feeling insecure enough about that, because here you are. I've heard you. You throw around. I've already got a big butt. Maybe I ripped them apart here. I hear Joanna earlier this morning talk to Wendy about this. Just being really bummed out. Really bummed out when she bought some jeans a couple days ago.

[Wendy]

Yeah. Monday was my birthday, and Jason took me to the Braves game. So I was like, I'm gonna go find a cute outfit to wear to the Braves game. So I go to the store, and I've been a size 5 since I can remember. I can buy a size 5 jeans and know that they're going to fit.

[Jen Fallon]

5 is a junior's size though.

[Wendy]

No, 5 is a normal size.

[Jen Fallon]

Well it's usually 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 but juniors are like 3, 5, 7.

[Wendy]

I'm definitely not a junior size but I've always worn fives and so when I went to the store I don't like to try stuff on in the store I always just buy it, take it home. If it doesn't look good I'll return it.

[Katie]

I'm that way too.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Are you really?

[Katie]

Yes, I just don't like trying it out.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

I never try and hate dressing really

[Joanna]

never tryin in the same way.

[Wendy]

I'm just in a hurry, I don't really even wanna be there.

[Host]

So if it's a time management issue, isn't it gonna take you more time to return it if it doesn't fit well than it would just to try it on?

[Katie]

Initially I just, I keep tripping in there.

[Host]

Crazy logic.

[Wendy]

Logically yes, but no, not for me. I don't like to try it on. So I bought five jeans, they've always fit. So I get home and I'm trying on my outfit getting ready for the Braves game and I start to put the jeans on. Well they were capris cause I knew it was gonna be hot and, and I couldn't get them over my thighs and I just was like really like not only am I a year older now but now I have to go up another size.

[Jen Fallon]

That's not a good thing to do on your birthday?

[Wendy]

No, it's not Feeling.

[Unidentified Female Guest]

Why don't you just split them right at the butt crack like you did with the other pants you have for a woman?

[Host]

Is that like a really tough day when you have to admit that you have to go up in size based on what? Everything that you guys talked about with weight that must be like a, that must be a horrible day because that's

[Katie]

usually a motivation for you. It's like, you know what? Regardless of what's going on in my life, if I can, I just want to stay in this size I will, you know, if I keep my size then I'm good. And that's usually a measure if you're working out or exercising, whatever. If I can stay in my size I'm good. And then if you have to buy a size. But it is, yeah, it is a, it's a, it's defeating.

[Host]

Would you rather hold on to clothes that you know don't fit well and you're going to be uncomfortable in them for a Long time before you have to admit that you have to go up a size.

[Katie]

I've definitely done that.

[Jen Fallon]

This happens even to women who are having babies. My friends that are pregnant and you know, their stomachs are expanding for a reason. They still don't want to buy any clothes. They're like, no, no, no, no. I'm not buying that maternity stuff until I absolutely have to. And then they're like, they will not change their size.

[Wendy]

I think this is the point in my life where I'm realizing that my body. And I'm not saying I'm old, I'm only 26. I know I'm young, but I'm realizing that my body just doesn't lose weight as fast as I did when I was 18. And I'm at that point and I'm like, I can go run like I used to, but I'm not gonna lose it in a week like I did when I was 18. I just have to be more careful now.

[Katie]

I mean, I turned 40 this year and I understand what you're saying. I think it's an easy excuse to say that I think lifestyle is different from 18. Like I'm 40 and I'm bigger than I was when I was in my 20s. But I've done that to myself because I don't run around like I used to in my 20s. I'm in a relationship in which we sit and we make big meals every night. I certainly would skip meals all the time when I was in my twenties. You know what I mean? So I see what you're saying. But then there's a part of me that feels, feels like I. Either I refuse to believe that because I know that it's up to me, or because I've really looked at that, like at 40, because I refuse to say that.

[Host]

You know, your metabolism absolutely changes, though. Your body chemistry changes.

[Katie]

It's sort of a Body chemistry changes. I know, but I think so many times women use that as a reason to. Because my lifestyle has changed. My metabolism may have changed, but so has my lifestyle. If I make big meals at dinner, that means I've got to do more exercise to do to take away the big meal that Katie and I just made.

[Host]

If you kept everything even for 20 years, same foods, same exercise, nothing changes. You're going to gain weight as a 40 year old.

[Katie]

Yeah, but I mean. Yeah, but I mean, looking, maybe, maybe. I don't know. I have not been consistent for 20 years. You know, I have not been consistent with my eating. I've not been consistent with my exercising, I certainly haven't, you know, I mean. Yeah. So I don't know, but I mean, maybe I just think at 26, that's a little too young to feel that way, to be honest with you.

[Host]

Good morning. Q100.

[Young Female Caller]

Hi.

[Host]

Hi.

[Young Female Caller]

I was just kind of commenting on what y' all were talking about.

[Host]

Okay, now's a good time. Cool.

[Young Female Caller]

I'm almost 21. I've been wearing the same size for about since high school. Like a three, four, even a five. And now I'm starting to fit into. I have to move up to a seven now because my thighs are getting too big.

[Host]

That day's hard, isn't it?

[Young Female Caller]

Yeah. My mom says because of Manhattan 6.

[Host]

I don't know is because what?

[Joanna]

Oh, because you're doing it.

[Host]

So your mom says that your thighs are getting larger because you're having sex?

[Young Female Caller]

Yes.

[Katie]

That's funny.

[Announcer]

Really?

[Jen Fallon]

Now that is an abstinence campaign right there.

[Announcer]

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[McDonald's Promoter]

All new drinks are now at McDonald's with refreshers like the Strawberry Watermelon refresher and the Mango Pineapple refresher with popping boba. To crafted sodas like the Sprite Berry Blast with berry flavors and cold foam. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire six? All new drinks are here now at McDonald's.

[Announcer]

Refreshers contain caffeine.