The Bert Show – Vault: What Embarrassing Video Do You Wish Didn't Exist?

Podcast: The Bert Show
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Episode Air Date: December 29, 2025
Main Participants: Regular hosts (Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy), various callers (Anne, Tia, Tracy, Matt), guest contributors
Episode Theme: Listeners call in to share their most embarrassing video moments they wish never saw the light of day.

Episode Overview

This episode revolves around the hilarious, cringeworthy, and sometimes heartfelt stories of listeners (and a few of the hosts) recalling embarrassing videos or photos of themselves that exist—and that they fervently wish would disappear forever. Each story, filled with frank honesty and the Bert Show’s trademark humor, invites empathy and laughter, resonating with anyone who’s ever had a moment they’d want erased from the internet (or their social circles).

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Stage: The Question of the Hour

• The episode kicks off with the hosts discussing a recent story about a California man who was rescued from a mudslide—only to be filmed without pants, his bare butt immortalized on local news.
  • Host: “He didn’t have any pants on.” (01:36)
• From here, they launch into the central question:

  “What photo? What film of you do you wish doesn’t exist?” (01:48)

2. Caller Stories: Embarrassing Videos That Haunt Us

A. Anne & Tia – The College Party Gone Viral

• Anne and Tia spin a hilarious yet mortifying tale of their college party:
  • “We get so drunk the first Friday...start doing this Beyoncé dance...there’s a clip of me with my boob hanging out.” (02:19)
• The kicker: The video ends up online, and Anne cannot convince her friend to take it down:
  • “Till this day, I cannot get my friend to take it off. I hate it so much.” (02:24)

B. Anne – The Car Accident and Infamous Press Photos

• Anne recounts a traumatic high school incident:
  • Involved in a car accident, she was photographed by news crews after her clothes were torn during the rescue.
  • When she returns to school, students have covered her locker with copies of the embarrassing news photo:
    • “My locker was like decoupaged with pictures...my butt was hanging out, my thigh was hanging...one of those days you wish you maybe had just died.” (03:44)
• The hosts offer sympathy but can’t help but riff on the situation’s absurdity.
  • Host: “So you were half flashing the whole world half naked. And luckily the TV crew was right there.” (04:23)

C. Lil – Wedding Potluck & Unwanted Video Confession

• Lil describes a cringe-y wedding moment in the rural South:
  • At her then-fiancé’s cousin’s wedding, she and another future in-law are caught on tape talking smack about their future mother-in-law and how their own weddings wouldn’t be so... “country.”
    • “We were sort of in the background talking about how our wedding was going to be different...they were walking around with the camera...saying, say something nice about the couple...next day at brunch, they played the video.” (06:31)
  • The fallout? The video airs at brunch, with everyone (including the mother-in-law) present:
    • “Yeah, I actually was more...just saying about how my wedding was gonna be different… I sort of got off a little better because I didn’t say something directly about her.” (07:07)

D. Tracy – The Baptism-Sex Tape Mixup

• Tracy’s laugh-out-loud horror story:
  • She and her husband accidentally record a sex tape on a camcorder, then later use the same camera for her baptism (her father-in-law, a Southern Baptist preacher, does the ceremony).
  • The tape, labeled “Tracy’s Baptism,” is left with her father-in-law for a year—who is known to rewatch all tapes.
    • “[We] lose the video for about a year...his father was a Southern Baptist preacher...I go home and put it in. It was my baptism, but immediately afterward it was the sex video...So we know he saw it.” (08:05–08:31)
  • Host: “How do you forget this tape in the camera?” (09:17)
  • Tracy: “It was my fault. I think it was my husband’s fault. I was 18 years old.” (09:23)

E. Matt – The Drunken Car Wash Dare

• Matt tells his infamous “vacuum” story:
  • A drunken dare leads him to use a car wash vacuum on his genitals, and his friends capture the moment.
  • “My friend pulls out his camera phone...uploads all the pictures and puts them on all these websites...I was wearing a really ugly sweater, and now everyone associates me with this sweater. They look right past my whole penis in vacuum and straight to this ugly sweater.” (10:30–11:04)
  • Host: “So… did it work?” (11:04)
  • Matt: “It didn’t feel that good. No, it didn’t feel that bad. For being drunk, I’ve had worse.” (11:09–11:14)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Embarrassed, But Laughing

• “One of those days you wish you maybe had just died.”
  — Anne, on the aftermath of her locker decoupage incident (03:44)

• “That’s one of those moments you just want to like melt into the floor.”
  — Host, after Lil’s wedding video fiasco (07:31)

• “They look right past my whole penis in vacuum and straight to this ugly sweater.”
  — Matt, on being recognized for his fashion choices instead of the dare (11:04)

Pure Bert Show Banter

• “Did it work?” (11:04)
  — Host’s irrepressible curiosity after Matt’s car wash confession

• “Will somebody tell me what that is? Decoupage?”
  — Host learning a new word amidst the chaos (05:08)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:30 — Hosts introduce topic and hilarious catalyst (the pantsless man on TV)
• 02:01 — Anne’s Beyoncé party video story
• 02:44 — Anne’s car accident and infamous press coverage
• 05:26 — Lil’s “wedding day confession” faux pas caught on camera
• 07:42 — Tracy’s baptism/sex tape mix-up
• 09:52 — Matt’s car wash dare story
• 11:23 — Return to standard banter and wrap-up

Episode Tone

The episode keeps to The Bert Show’s signature style: authentically casual, fast-paced, humorous, and a little irreverent, yet always inclusive of empathy for anyone sharing a vulnerable story. Through laughter and shared embarrassment, hosts and callers create a lively space where everyone—even the cringiest moments—are met with connection and good-natured humor.

For New Listeners
This episode is a riotous listen for anyone needing a reminder that no one is immune from embarrassing blunders—and that it’s always better to laugh about them. The collection of “wish-that-didn’t-exist” stories offers both comic relief and a sense of solidarity in the grand, messy chaos of life.