Vault: What if your doctor crossed the line?

Summary

The Bert Show — “Vault: What if your doctor crossed the line?” (June 22, 2026)
Episode Summary

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Main Theme

This episode dives into a candid, sometimes unsettling discussion about boundaries with medical professionals — particularly pediatricians and gynecologists — and how patients, especially women, deal with experiences that make them uncomfortable. The conversation grows to include why women often choose not to share these incidents with their fathers and the complex emotional dynamics involved in protecting both themselves and their family members.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How the Conversation Started (01:02–01:37)

• The group unpacks a random off-air conversation that began with travel, segued into concerns over “sex tourism” in certain countries, and ultimately shifted into discussing doctors and boundaries, especially when the doctor in question is a male working with young women or children.

2. Choosing Female Doctors: Comfort & Instinct (01:37–02:17)

• Carl and Jen highlight their personal discomfort with male pediatricians or gynecologists.
  • “If you want your kids to have a female because motherly instincts.” — Carl (01:44)
  • Jen compares gynecologists to mechanics, “I don't want to go to a mechanic that's never owned my car.” (02:12)

3. Personal Stories of Uncomfortable Medical Encounters (02:29–04:11)

• Jen recounts a distinctly unsettling first gynecological exam with a male doctor as a teenager:
  • “He was out of breath after the exam… and he couldn’t look me in the eye.” (02:54)
  • Despite no outright inappropriate behavior, the doctor’s physical reaction left her unnerved — enough so that she never returned or saw a male gynecologist again (03:26).
• Wendy expands on uncomfortable childhood encounters, drawing a parallel with being confronted by a creep while traveling as a child — an incident she eventually only reported to her mother and sister, but not her father (04:25–05:36).

4. Why Not Tell Dad? Emotional Reasoning & Protection (05:41–07:42)

• The panel discusses why women (as teens/adults) might purposefully avoid telling their fathers about violations or boundary-crossing situations:
  • “You don’t want your dad to go to jail because of this creeper...” — Wendy (05:28)
  • There’s a shared sense that dads might “do something” drastic out of protective instinct.
  • Jen: “My mom knows a lot more things that went wrong in those relationships than you would ever tell your dad.” (07:12)
  • Wendy: There’s comfort in knowing that dads would protect you, but sometimes, “a part of you just wants to forget about it, move on.” (07:42)

5. Protecting the Parent from Pain (08:09–08:21)

• “It’s not reliving it, but it’s protecting your dad from the realities that bad things could happen to his daughter.” — Jen (08:15)
• There’s a shared dynamic of shielding a parent from distress, seeing avoidance as an act of love rather than hiding a secret.

6. Dad vs. Partner: What Gets Shared, and Why? (08:37–09:17)

• Carl wonders if similar discretion applies in romantic relationships.
  • Jen clarifies: “No, it’s a specific dad thing.” (08:57)
  • Some things, as Wendy’s husband puts it, “Dad should just not know.” (09:03)

7. Male Perspective: Would You Tell Your Mom or Dad? (09:17–09:30)

• Most of the men express openness with their mothers, but not necessarily with their fathers, highlighting gendered nuances in family communication.

8. Listener Story: When a Parent Does Step In (09:36–10:16)

• Amy, a caller, describes an incident where a chiropractor behaved inappropriately with her. Her father did confront the doctor directly, illustrating a different outcome and parental intervention.

9. The Lingering Impact—Guilt and Triggers (10:16–10:47)

• Wendy mentions that reminders (a man with a “twirl mustache”) can still trigger anxiety years later, and guilt lingers over not confronting a perpetrator due to worries about protecting other children from harm.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I don't want to go to a mechanic that's never owned my car.” — Jen (02:12)
• “He was out of breath after the exam… and he couldn’t look me in the eye.” — Jen (02:54)
• “You don’t want your dad to go to jail because of this creeper...” — Wendy (05:28)
• “My mom knows a lot more things that went wrong in those relationships than you would ever tell your dad.” — Jen (07:12)
• “There’s some things dad should just not know.” — Wendy's husband (09:03)
• “It’s not reliving it, but it’s protecting your dad from the realities that bad things could happen to his daughter.” — Jen (08:15)
• Listener Amy’s experience: “The chiropractor just decided he was going to pull down my pants halfway... My father confronted him.” (09:59–10:16)
• “He had those damn handle… like twirl mustache. It makes me sick to see guys with that because of that guy.” — Wendy (10:44)

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Important Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |---------------------------------------------|-------------| | How the topic started | 01:02–01:37 | | Women’s preferences for female doctors | 01:37–02:17 | | Jen’s story: uncomfortable gynecologist | 02:29–04:11 | | Wendy’s childhood encounter | 04:25–05:36 | | Why not tell dad – protection, emotions | 05:41–07:42 | | The “don’t tell dad” logic explained | 08:09–08:21 | | Dad vs. Partner info-sharing | 08:37–09:17 | | Men’s perspectives on parental openness | 09:17–09:30 | | Listener Amy’s chiropractor incident | 09:36–10:16 | | Wendy’s lingering guilt and triggers | 10:16–10:47 |

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Tone and Style

The episode is conversational, often humorous even when broaching heavy topics, with real moments of vulnerability and honesty. The hosts strive to balance empathy, personal stories, and genuine curiosity about how families handle these uncomfortable but important realities.

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For listeners and those who missed the episode:
This conversation shines a light on the fraught, often taboo space where professional boundaries, personal safety, adult protective instincts, and family communication collide. Through stories, debate, and listener engagement, the Bert Show morphs a tough topic into an emotionally resonant morning dialogue — with honesty, a bit of laughter, and mutual support.

Transcript

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[Carl]

So we got into a conversation about pediatricians. Okay, Randomly, this is how. This is literally how the conversation.

[Jen]

Bizarre how it started.

[Carl]

The conversation started about traveling to Central America and South America. Then Carl points out that he read an article that Dominican Republic is becoming a hotbed for sex travel. And then I pointed out that one time when Jessica and I were in Costa Rica, there was a guy who was down there and he clearly had invested in some companionship while he was down there. But it was weird because he was a pediatrician. Oh, you following so far?

[Wendy]

Did he invest in a companionship with someone his own age or someone younger?

[Carl]

Younger, Much younger.

[Jen]

Oh, gosh.

[Carl]

So he was a pediatrician. So then I talked about how I thought it was creepy that that guy's a pediatrician and he's investing in that companionship. I think that's just weird. And then Carl mentioned I think it's weird just having a guy pediatrician. And then. So follow so far this is the conversation that happened off there. So then Carl, if you want your kids to have a female because motherly instincts. And then Jen makes a remark about how she would only go to a female gynecologist for the same reason. Because the girl's got that part, you know, those parts.

[Wendy]

I don't want to go to a mechanic that's never owned my car.

[Carl]

Yeah, exactly.

[Wendy's Husband]

Jen was saying off air.

[Carl]

So she makes that remark and then I made a comment about and some guy gynecologists could be creepy. Like the way the pediatrician was some.

[Wendy]

But I do know women that only go to gynecologists, too.

[Carl]

Costa Rica. And then Jen shared a story about a creeper gynecologist that she had.

[Jen]

I did. I just had a strange experience when I was young with a male gynecologist. So I'll never do that again. I shared it on the air before.

[Carl]

That's what brought us to the debate.

[Guest Male (possibly Carl's friend)]

That's when I asked Jen, I said, so where was your dad when this happened? And she looked at me like, what are you asking?

[Carl]

So explain what happened first at the gynecologist.

[Jen]

Okay. So I went and it was just for, like, probably my first annual exam or whatever. Women know it's not the most comfortable thing in the world. And I was young and whatever. And the doctor at the time was out of breath after the exam. He was out of breath, and he couldn't look me in the eye. And it was awkward. I mean, even like, that young and not knowing what I was supposed to expect from an appointment. I knew that that was weir. He never said anything inappropriate. It was just his physical reaction.

[Wendy]

Did he have to have a nurse in the room with him at the time? Mm, okay. Because I do now. I don't know if they always have.

[Jen]

Yeah, yeah. There was definitely, like, a tech or a nurse, another person in the room or whatever. But after the exam, he, like, couldn't speak clearly, was, like, stuttering through his sentences very clearly, like, out of breath and would not look me in the eye. And I was so creeped out by it. I was like, ew. God. That's just. Something about it was off. I knew it was, you know, something was wrong with it, whatever. And so I just never went back to a male doctor after that. That was like, it for the experience for me. So he didn't behave inappropriately. I think it was a physical reaction that he had. I was 16. 16 or 17 years old.

[Carl]

So Jen shared that story, and then Carl was shocked because she never reported it to her dad.

[Guest Male (possibly Carl's friend)]

Right. And I know. I understand. I know how close Jen is to her dad. So I just thought that automatically being that you were uncomfortable with that situation, somebody, either your mom or somebody told the dad.

[Jen]

And when you looked at it like.

[Guest Male (possibly Carl's friend)]

And that's why I said, what?

[Carl]

And why.

[Wendy]

I've had an experience with a creeper on a vacation trip. I was much younger than 16, and we were at a hotel on a road Trip. And it was at a time when you never thought about your kid running up to the gift shop ahead of you or running back to the room behind.

[Carl]

Running to the ice machine.

[Wendy]

Yeah. I mean, I was by myself and this guy who I had met a couple times, like at the pool and at the gift shop, not realizing he was kind of watching me because I think I was 11 at the time. And he cornered me and tried to escort me to the back of the building. And I got away from him and I told my mom because I wasn't going to tell anybody. And mom could totally tell something was wrong. And I told her. And then I told my sister. And my sister at the time was married and she told her husband. But we decided not to tell dad because he would have killed him. And then every.

[Carl]

But he should. Yes.

[Wendy]

I mean, that's what dads do. But literal. Yeah, but you know, you also don't want your dad to go to jail because of this creeper for killing him.

[Jen]

And so there was definitely plenty of things from.

[Wendy]

And it was Millie Pete's decision not to tell my dad and he never learned about it.

[Guest Male (possibly Carl's friend)]

I'd be so upset with my wife if she didn't tell me something like that because I mean, give me.

[Wendy]

But you're gonna do something.

[Guest Male (possibly Carl's friend)]

I might. I'm going to address it so it doesn't happen again to you, so you don't have to worry about it again. So whatever that guy, I may go up to his office, addressed him real firmly. But I'm going to make sure that my daughter is not feeling uncomfortable again. That's the.

[Wendy's Husband]

Well, that would, that would make her uncomfortable.

[Wendy]

Like in, like in this situation. Like in this situation. The reason that my brother in law was told, because my sister's much older than me. So you know, they were in their 20s. You know, my brother in law was told for that reason my brother in law wasn't going to do anything. So he was, he was with me the whole time. And he had his eye on the guy and he. And he kind of made contact, eye contact with the guy to let him know he knew something had happened. But we didn't tell dad and you know, and then we left and I was never going to see the guy again. I felt guilty. The only part about it that I did feel guilty about him not even getting confronted is I was worried about what other kids has he done that to, you know, So I thought about that after that and it. And it made me feel like I was responsible for not saying anything.

[Carl]

But so why didn't you say anything to your dad?

[Jen]

I just. I would have never thought to do that. I don't think I shared it with anybody.

[Carl]

Well, you tell your mom, I think maybe because you said you never went to that doctor again.

[Jen]

No, I never went to that doctor again. You must have told your mom something. I think I told her something, but I don't remember if I actually told her the story or not. And honestly, I can't remember.

[Carl]

And Wendy was. Why wouldn't you have said anything to your dad?

[Wendy's Husband]

It's just an uncomfortable thing. And no, my dad would have killed a guy if that situation happened with Melissa. My dad has plenty of shotguns. He's been in the military. I mean, you're his baby girl, and he's gonna protect you. So in any situation like that, he's gonna do what he has to do.

[Jen]

Probably even from, like, ex relationships. Like, your mom probably knows a lot more things that went wrong in those relationships than you would ever tell your dad. Things the guy either did to you said to you.

[Carl]

Carl's like, wait a minute.

[Jen]

Yeah, my mom knows a. And she and I have both decided not to tell my father a few things because of that reason. Exactly.

[Carl]

What are the chances that you sit down with your daughter the next day? Let's go to McDonald's, and you guys are gonna sit down and have a little hard time.

[Guest Male (possibly Carl's friend)]

Oh, it's going down tonight.

[Wendy]

It's not gonna happen. Now, the knowledge that my father would kill him is comforting. Like, as weird as that sounds, the knowledge that my father would have protected me had he known is something that is comforting. So we know that our dads would take care of us, but there is some vulnerability to it that there's a part of you just wants to forget about it, move on.

[Guest Male (possibly Carl's friend)]

Let me ask one question. Are you. Are you afraid of how your father's going to react in front of you? Like, if my daughter tells me something, I may get a little huffy and puffy, and that may just kind of intimidate her. It's not towards her.

[Jen]

But I didn't want to.

[Wendy]

I didn't want to relive it.

[Jen]

It's. Yeah, it's not. It's not reliving it, but it's protecting your dad.

[Guest Male (possibly Carl's friend)]

Wow.

[Jen]

From the realities that bad things could happen to his daughter.

[Wendy]

And there's a part of me that didn't want to have to go through the story with my dad.

[Carl]

I'm with you, Carl. I've, like, hands down, man, if it's.

[Wendy]

If somebody and as long as your child knows that you. I mean like I said, as warped as it sounds, I mean I knew that my dad would and could and I'm proud of that and I feel protected by that.

[Carl]

Do you do the same thing in relationships? And this might be more of a question for the men. Like when you're in a relationship with a man like Jen, when you were married or if you get in another long term relationship and something comes up, would you not tell your husband or your boyfriend or you wende like keep it from them for the same reasons?

[Jen]

No, it's a specific dad thing happened specifically to your father.

[Wendy's Husband]

There's some things that dad should just not know.

[Carl]

If the same, if the, if the creepy doctor appointment thing happens while you were married, would you have told your husband?

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Carl]

Really? Yeah. But not your dad?

[Jen]

No.

[Wendy]

That's why, that's why I told my brother in law didn't tell my father.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Guest Male (possibly Carl's friend)]

You know that's funny when he said there's certain things that dad should not know. I didn't know that women, some women thought like that because I would tell my mom anything eventually.

[Wendy's Husband]

So that's different because we can tell our moms anything, but you can't tell your dad.

[Carl]

Would you tell your dad anything?

[Guest Male (possibly Carl's friend)]

Yeah, if I felt like it. Yeah. Definitely.

[Carl]

Hey Amy. Welcome to the bird show. Amy.

[Amy]

Hey guys. I had an unfortunate incident at the chiropractor one time. I was there and I had fallen off a horse and so I had, you know, supposedly had a bruise on my behind and the chiropractor just decided that he was going to pull down my pants halfway. And what was so funny is that my brother was in the room and

[Carl]

he did this creepy.

[Wendy]

Oh no.

[Amy]

Yeah. But I ended up telling my father and he, he went and confronted him and everything was fine, but still awkward to see that chiropractor you. Well, I don't go to him. I go to somebody else in that office. But it's still a little weird.

[Wendy]

Yeah, well, I would switch. Yeah. He's still making money off of you. I'd go to a different office. But anyway. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I just. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's a. You want to protect your dad because you don't. I think it's like you choose your battles. You choose your battles. Your dad's going to be the general of, you know, it's like I'm not going to come to him with everything and especially something creepy that maybe already because we left that hotel and I never saw that guy again. And he had those damn handle, you know, like twirl mustache. It makes me sick to see guys with that because of that guy. But.

[Carl]

But yeah, well, I never had an incident that's. That still creeps me out that whole nobody ever touched me in no hotel.

[Wendy]

It's just weird here.

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