The Bert Show: Vault – "What Weird Place Did You See Your Teacher?"

Original Air Date: December 8, 2025
Host: The Bert Show Cast
Theme: Listeners and hosts share hilariously awkward stories about running into teachers or students in the most unexpected—and sometimes cringe-worthy—places.

Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the odd and memorable moments when boundaries between student and teacher worlds collapse—often in public places like bars, adult stores, and even strip clubs. Listeners call in with their stories, and the Bert Show crew reacts with their trademark humor, keeping the tone playful while exploring the relatable embarrassment from both perspectives.

Key Discussion Points & Stories

Teachers in Awkward Places (02:00)

• Host's Story:
  The episode kicks off with the host sharing a friend's tales:
  • Running into a former student working at Hooters
  • Spotting another former student dancing at a strip club
  • Highlights how common these encounters are for teachers
  • Quote:

    "This has got to happen to teachers all the time, where years down the road, you run into your former students in these uncomfortable places, you know, so..." (01:42)

Listener Call-Ins: Embarrassing Encounters

1. Drunk at Dave & Busters (03:00)

• Caller: Kim
  • She was a current eighth grade teacher at the time.
  • After "a couple hours of drinking" at Dave & Buster's with friends, she runs into a student and his family.
  • Struggles to appear sober and professional while still slurring her words:
  • "It was February, so I still had to see him for the rest of the year!" (02:51)
  • The hosts joke about a "drunk conversation playback device" for moments like this.
  • Memorable Line (Host):

    “In the drunk talking, like, you think you’re being cool, but you’re being fidgety and spitty, shifting from one foot to the other…” (03:28)

2. Coach at the Adult Store (04:20)

• Caller: Jesse
  • She’d just turned 18 and visited Starship (an adult store) with friends.
  • Makes eye contact with her wrestling coach—in one of the least appropriate places.
  • The host notes that men seem especially awkward in adult stores, often "looking down, wearing trench coats"—everyone wants to avoid eye contact.
  • Best Reaction (Host):

    "It doesn’t matter which section you’re in in Starship, you shouldn’t be there. Right." (04:48)

3. Professor in the Peep Booth (05:18)

• Male Caller
  • After a night out, visits a "video booth" at Insurrection (another adult venue).
  • Spots his old college professor walking out of a viewing booth—the ultimate mutual embarrassment.
  • Quote:

    "We made eye contact, he looked down and rushed out the door, never to be spoken of ever again." (05:28)

  • When asked what class he took with him:

    "History class. Human sexuality ethics or something." (05:36)

4. Teacher at a Lesbian Bar (05:54)

• Caller: Selena

  • At age 28, she's at My Sister’s Room (a well-known Atlanta lesbian bar), checking out a woman across the room—turns out, it's her high school English teacher.
  • Keeps calling her "Ms. Williams" despite the teacher protesting: "No, it’s Lisa."
  • Host teases about “outing” the teacher on-air.
  • Quote:

    "Well, I introduced her to everyone as Ms. Williams. And she kept apologizing and saying, 'No, it’s really Lisa.'" (06:36)

• Host's Reflection:

  • Stresses that sometimes the former student should keep these encounters private—“Just leave it alone.” (07:10)
  • The group jokes about least appropriate moments of acknowledgment.

5. Dating My 7th Grade Teacher—By Accident (07:24)

• Caller: Jay
  • Randomly meets and starts dating a woman after a Vegas bachelor party.
  • Six months in, realizes she was his 7th grade teacher—her last name had since changed due to divorce.
  • Quote:

    "So we started hooking up, and it was about maybe six months into the relationship... she ended up being—she was my seventh-grade teacher." (08:16)

  • Host and callers are incredulous at the coincidence and discuss awkward “Total Thornbirds moment.”

6. Hooking Up Before Becoming the Teacher (09:06)

• Caller: Dana
  • During her teaching practicum, recognizes a student—realizes they'd previously met and hooked up at a party, after he’d lied about being “in college."
  • Quote:

    “So he lied about his age and you hooked up with him and then you ended up being his teacher. Yeah.” (09:57)

  • Hosts close out with laughter, clearly entertained by the wildness of these teacher-student boundary crossings.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On being caught out:

  “If I’m walking out of a peep booth. Yeah. That’s not the time to approach me. Mr. Wise, could you go ahead and save that?” (07:16)

• Re: student/teacher boundaries:

  “There are places where it’s appropriate and places where you should probably just not bring it up. And that’s probably one of them...” (07:00)

• Jaw-dropper:

  “She was a hottie then. And of course, here it is—your seventh grade. So, you know, most kids already got their hot… got the hots for their teacher anyway. And then for me to run into her…” (08:34)

Timestamp Guide to Key Segments

• [02:00] Host shares friend’s crazy encounters with former students as a teacher
• [02:49] Kim’s Dave & Buster’s drunken run-in with a current student
• [04:01] Jesse sees her wrestling coach at an adult store
• [05:18] Caller recounts catching his college professor at a video booth
• [05:54] Selena recognizes her high school English teacher at a lesbian bar
• [07:24] Jay discovers his girlfriend is actually his former 7th grade teacher
• [09:06] Dana accidentally hooks up with future student before becoming his teacher

Tone & Style

The episode maintains a breezy, confessional vibe with plenty of laughter and playful ribbing. The hosts let listeners take center stage, letting their candid, occasionally raunchy stories lead to self-deprecating humor and gentle advice about when to acknowledge—and when to forget—awkward run-ins. The cast's main advice? Sometimes, for everyone’s sake, it’s best to just "leave it alone."

Takeaway

The episode is a collection of “did that really happen?” stories highlighting the sometimes blurry line between professional and personal worlds. Whether you’re a teacher, a student, or anyone scared to make accidental eye contact at the wrong time, these tales will have you cringing, laughing, and maybe reflecting on your own encounters at unexpected places.