Vault: What Weird Place did You See Your Teacher?

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault – "What Weird Place Did You See Your Teacher?"

Original Air Date: December 8, 2025
Host: The Bert Show Cast
Theme: Listeners and hosts share hilariously awkward stories about running into teachers or students in the most unexpected—and sometimes cringe-worthy—places.

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Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the odd and memorable moments when boundaries between student and teacher worlds collapse—often in public places like bars, adult stores, and even strip clubs. Listeners call in with their stories, and the Bert Show crew reacts with their trademark humor, keeping the tone playful while exploring the relatable embarrassment from both perspectives.

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Key Discussion Points & Stories

Teachers in Awkward Places (02:00)

• Host's Story:
  The episode kicks off with the host sharing a friend's tales:
  • Running into a former student working at Hooters
  • Spotting another former student dancing at a strip club
  • Highlights how common these encounters are for teachers
  • Quote:

    "This has got to happen to teachers all the time, where years down the road, you run into your former students in these uncomfortable places, you know, so..." (01:42)

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Listener Call-Ins: Embarrassing Encounters

1. Drunk at Dave & Busters (03:00)

• Caller: Kim
  • She was a current eighth grade teacher at the time.
  • After "a couple hours of drinking" at Dave & Buster's with friends, she runs into a student and his family.
  • Struggles to appear sober and professional while still slurring her words:
  • "It was February, so I still had to see him for the rest of the year!" (02:51)
  • The hosts joke about a "drunk conversation playback device" for moments like this.
  • Memorable Line (Host):

    “In the drunk talking, like, you think you’re being cool, but you’re being fidgety and spitty, shifting from one foot to the other…” (03:28)

2. Coach at the Adult Store (04:20)

• Caller: Jesse
  • She’d just turned 18 and visited Starship (an adult store) with friends.
  • Makes eye contact with her wrestling coach—in one of the least appropriate places.
  • The host notes that men seem especially awkward in adult stores, often "looking down, wearing trench coats"—everyone wants to avoid eye contact.
  • Best Reaction (Host):

    "It doesn’t matter which section you’re in in Starship, you shouldn’t be there. Right." (04:48)

3. Professor in the Peep Booth (05:18)

• Male Caller
  • After a night out, visits a "video booth" at Insurrection (another adult venue).
  • Spots his old college professor walking out of a viewing booth—the ultimate mutual embarrassment.
  • Quote:

    "We made eye contact, he looked down and rushed out the door, never to be spoken of ever again." (05:28)

  • When asked what class he took with him:

    "History class. Human sexuality ethics or something." (05:36)

4. Teacher at a Lesbian Bar (05:54)

• Caller: Selena

  • At age 28, she's at My Sister’s Room (a well-known Atlanta lesbian bar), checking out a woman across the room—turns out, it's her high school English teacher.
  • Keeps calling her "Ms. Williams" despite the teacher protesting: "No, it’s Lisa."
  • Host teases about “outing” the teacher on-air.
  • Quote:

    "Well, I introduced her to everyone as Ms. Williams. And she kept apologizing and saying, 'No, it’s really Lisa.'" (06:36)

• Host's Reflection:

  • Stresses that sometimes the former student should keep these encounters private—“Just leave it alone.” (07:10)
  • The group jokes about least appropriate moments of acknowledgment.

5. Dating My 7th Grade Teacher—By Accident (07:24)

• Caller: Jay
  • Randomly meets and starts dating a woman after a Vegas bachelor party.
  • Six months in, realizes she was his 7th grade teacher—her last name had since changed due to divorce.
  • Quote:

    "So we started hooking up, and it was about maybe six months into the relationship... she ended up being—she was my seventh-grade teacher." (08:16)

  • Host and callers are incredulous at the coincidence and discuss awkward “Total Thornbirds moment.”

6. Hooking Up Before Becoming the Teacher (09:06)

• Caller: Dana
  • During her teaching practicum, recognizes a student—realizes they'd previously met and hooked up at a party, after he’d lied about being “in college."
  • Quote:

    “So he lied about his age and you hooked up with him and then you ended up being his teacher. Yeah.” (09:57)

  • Hosts close out with laughter, clearly entertained by the wildness of these teacher-student boundary crossings.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On being caught out:

  “If I’m walking out of a peep booth. Yeah. That’s not the time to approach me. Mr. Wise, could you go ahead and save that?” (07:16)

• Re: student/teacher boundaries:

  “There are places where it’s appropriate and places where you should probably just not bring it up. And that’s probably one of them...” (07:00)

• Jaw-dropper:

  “She was a hottie then. And of course, here it is—your seventh grade. So, you know, most kids already got their hot… got the hots for their teacher anyway. And then for me to run into her…” (08:34)

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Timestamp Guide to Key Segments

• [02:00] Host shares friend’s crazy encounters with former students as a teacher
• [02:49] Kim’s Dave & Buster’s drunken run-in with a current student
• [04:01] Jesse sees her wrestling coach at an adult store
• [05:18] Caller recounts catching his college professor at a video booth
• [05:54] Selena recognizes her high school English teacher at a lesbian bar
• [07:24] Jay discovers his girlfriend is actually his former 7th grade teacher
• [09:06] Dana accidentally hooks up with future student before becoming his teacher

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains a breezy, confessional vibe with plenty of laughter and playful ribbing. The hosts let listeners take center stage, letting their candid, occasionally raunchy stories lead to self-deprecating humor and gentle advice about when to acknowledge—and when to forget—awkward run-ins. The cast's main advice? Sometimes, for everyone’s sake, it’s best to just "leave it alone."

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Takeaway

The episode is a collection of “did that really happen?” stories highlighting the sometimes blurry line between professional and personal worlds. Whether you’re a teacher, a student, or anyone scared to make accidental eye contact at the wrong time, these tales will have you cringing, laughing, and maybe reflecting on your own encounters at unexpected places.

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Transcript

[A]

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A couple of friends and I decided that we wanted to go to happy hour at Dave and Buster's and have a good time. And about two hours into our drinking, I ran into my student and his parents. Oh, God, that's not gonna be good. Yeah. And at the time, I was trying to sober up. I was trying to stand straight to say, hi, how are you all doing? And what the bad part about it was, it was February, so I still had to see him for the rest of the year. And he and I taught eighth grade, so. And, you know, in the drunk talking, like, you think you're being cool, but you're being fidgety and spitty, shifting from one foot to the other help the situation out at all. I would like to invent a device that you can wear on your shirt that would allow you to play back conversations once you hit a certain blood alcohol content. Like, once it detects so much on your breath. Because I can't tell you how many conversations I've had with people where in my mind I've gone. It's very nice to meet you, Melissa. Thank you so much for coming to Vision. I hope you have a great time in the next stage.

Sorry.

Dang.

Morning, Jesse. You're on the virtual on all the hits Q100. Hey. Hey. Can y' all hear me okay? Yeah, I can hear you fine. Yeah. Okay. Just making sure. I was. It was my senior year in high school. I'm a former student that ran into a teacher.

I just turned 18, and I was excited about going to. Well, I went to Starship. Can I say that on the radio? Sure. Like, it's Yeah. A starship is like an adult store. Yeah. It's got. Yeah.

And I was with a few friends outside of, like, I knew outside of school. And I was with one girl from school, and we. I was a Mac girl for the wrestling team. And I ran into one of the wrestling coaches at Starship.

That's mortifying. I made. And it was so bad as I made eye contact with them and all I could do was smile and like, turn around. Oh, man. And it doesn't matter which section you're in in Starship, you shouldn't be there. Right. I was like, oh, my God. And it was a male coach. It was a male coach. Yes, it was a male coach. Because in those stores, like, women can go in and be somewhat relaxed and shopping around. Yeah. And they're laughing and they're having a good time, guys. It's almost like they're wearing trench coats and caps and sunglasses. We won't make eye contact. We'll look down. Yeah. So he was mortified by that. What do you have there? Filter Anna. About 2 in the morning, after a long night of drinking, me and an old ex girlfriend went to insurrection. And we're there just playing around, laughing. And who comes walking out of one of the Pete booths? One of the viewing booths at one of my old college professors. Oh, no, no. Sith bastards. No. You don't go into those things. We made eye contact, he looked down and rushed out the door, never to be spoken of ever again. No. Why not? What course did he teach? It was a history class. Human sexuality Ethics or something. Good morning, Selena. You're on the Birth show and all the hits. Q100. Good morning, guys. I'm 30 years old now, but when I was 28, I graduated from a school in Atlanta called Henderson High School. And I was at my sister's room, and I'm checking out this girl across the room, and she is just so hot. And I walk over to her and she turns around and I fall flat on the floor. I say, Ms. Williams. And she's like, no, it's Lisa. I'm like, Ms. Williams? She's like, no, it's Lisa. I'm like, oh, my God. My high school English teacher.

And my sister's room is a lesbian bar. And I'm sure she really appreciates you saying her name on the radio.

Well, I introduced her to everyone as Ms. Williams. And she kept apologizing and saying, no, it's really Lisa. Yeah, you need to protect the teacher. But, yeah, I think that's. That's Gotta be. Oh, that's gotta be uncomfortable. Totally uncomfortable. No more so than when she gets into school today. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But I think that, you know, we were saying off air, like you got the responsibilities. The former student, not to say anything, you know. Yeah. There are places where it's appropriate and places where you should probably just not bring it up. And that's probably one of them because. Yeah. Like If I'm like, Mr. Weiss. Mr.

Just leave it alone. Yeah. If I'm walking out of a peep booth. Yeah. That's not the time to approach me. Mr. Wise, could you go ahead and save that?

Hey, Jay, you're on the Bird show on all the hits. Q100. Good morning, gang. What's going on? Hey, man, you tell us. Hey, I can't believe when you brought this up, I almost. I almost ran off the road here because I. I probably only told a couple people this story about 10 years ago. It had to be about 10 years ago because I'm 39 now. I was up in Vegas at a bachelor party, and a bunch of us went out to this club and I met this woman, older than I was, hot. I mean, we just kicked it off. You know, I'm kind of thinking about this is going to be like one of those little wine night things. And that's fine, but come to find out, we lived in the same town in Maryland. So we're like, all right, cool. So we started hooking up, and it was about maybe six months into the relationship that, you know, she was a teacher there. And, you know, we started talking about her past and everything. She said, she used to be a teacher in Texas. And I said, well, you know, I used to go to school in Texas also. You know, where'd you teach at? And when she told me, she ended up being. She was my seventh grade teacher.

How random is that? Oh, yeah. And you didn't even realize it for six months? No, no, she. Because she had. She. She. Her name. I won't say her name because I only, you know, I don't know if anybody knows or anything, but she had gotten divorced, so, you know, her first name was the same name as my teachers, but I didn't put the two together. And her last name was definitely different. Well, and a lot of people are thinking about their seventh grade teachers. She was a hottie then. And of course, you know, here it is, your seventh grade. So, you know, most kids already got their hot. You know, got the hots for their teacher anyway. And then for me to run into her, you know, and it's like we were together like six and a half, seven months before you put it all together. Total Thornbirds moment. Surprise. And, you know, he had to pull out that annual or that little yearbook. He didn't want to, but he did. Hey, Dana, you'll be the last call. Thank you for calling. Hi.

I was doing my student. Well, I was doing like a practicum before your student teaching. And the teacher was telling me about some of her, you know, some of the kids in the class. And this one kid looked really familiar and I, you know, it was a small town where I went to college and so I figured I'd probably seen him around town. He's a good looking kid. I was like, you know, 20. He was like, oh, 18. And she started telling me he was on the football team and all this stuff. And I realized I had met him before and he had told me the same story, but that he was in college and we had hooked up at a party.

And then I was like, oh, and supposed to teach this guy? Oh, no. So he lied about his age and you hooked up with him and then you ended up being his teacher. Yeah.

Beautiful. That's great. All right, thank you for calling. Bye bye. Bye. The bird show.

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