The Bert Show: “Vault: What Were You Late For Because Of Traffic?”

Date: December 10, 2025
Podcast: The Bert Show
Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Episode Theme:
This lively and relatable episode dives into the daily struggles Atlanta residents (and listeners everywhere) face with traffic. The cast and their audience share stories of major events they were late for—all due to the city’s notoriously bad congestion. Both lighthearted and poignant, these calls and conversations showcase why navigating Atlanta’s roads is as much about patience as it is about directions.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Tone: Atlanta Traffic Woes

• Host 3 opens the discussion by emphasizing just how “awful” Atlanta traffic is, noting:
  “The traffic is awful. Awful this morning on 400.” (01:34)

2. Listeners’ Personal Stories: What Did You Miss Because Of Traffic?

a. Minor Mishaps: Running Late for Pet Fest

• Caller 1 shares being late to a dog show:

  “I got caught in traffic and…got there 15 minutes late…was losing my mind.” (01:39)

• The hosts and other callers quickly point out 20 minutes isn’t that bad in perspective:

  “20 minutes is nothing though, you know what I mean? It takes some people 20 minutes to get off their exit ramp.” (02:15, Caller 1)
  “Like you really have to kind of plan your life around Atlanta traffic.” (02:01, Host 3)

b. Momentous Occasions: Wedding Delays

• Caller 4 (Jessica) recounts a wedding saga:

  “I was late for my wedding…got there about 6:20, and my husband didn’t even get there until after 7.” (02:26)

• The drama: guests waiting, phones off, and traffic chaos from a car fire on top of rush hour:

  “The funny thing is we had to deal with regular traffic…then up in Cartersville there was a car fire, so we got stuck in that too. It was double trouble.” (03:11)

• Caller 3 adds her in-laws’ near-miss:

  “My husband's grandparents missed our wedding…we were walking out the door greeting people and they were walking in the door.” (03:28)

c. Heartbreak: Missing Final Moments

• Caller 3 (Sharon) delivers a powerful, emotional story—she missed her brother’s final moments because of traffic:

  “I had to be in the perimeter area…traffic was so bad that I didn’t make it there…that evening he passed… I felt so guilty.” (04:00–04:37)
  This moment hushes the tone, with hosts responding sympathetically:
  “You poor thing. There’s nothing at that point you can do about it.” (04:46, Host 3)

3. Navigating Atlanta: Who’s the Shortcut King?

• The crew jokes about certain friends who can “get anywhere” using back roads:

  “I have a friend who knows how to get anywhere. He can get from Marietta to Stone Mountain on the surface streets. And I don’t know how to do that.” (05:16, Caller 3)

• Playful banter erupts around jealousy and “highway snobs”:

  “And you know the freaking king of that is checkaway…like you can’t go anywhere without Nemesis Melissa.” (05:31, Caller 1)
  “Well, I just find it funny how Jeff has to drop his name in every conversation…” (05:38, Host 3)
  “I have a friend of mine who’s like that too…but he’ll get mad at you if you take the highway. ‘Why are you going this way? Don’t need it!’…starts screaming at you.” (05:52–06:04, Caller 2)

4. Radio Inside Jokes: The Station’s Traffic Go-To

• Host 3 jokes about always depending on “crash” at the station for directions:

  “No one has it worse here at the radio station than crash because whenever there’s traffic…I slam every 15 minutes going, dude, what’s the best way to get over to the airport?” (06:07–06:12)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Atlanta’s inevitability of delays:

  “Like you really have to kind of plan your life around Atlanta traffic. And sometimes there’s just nothing you can do about it. And the more important the event, the more stressed out you are obviously in traffic.” (02:01, Host 3)

• On wedding day chaos:

  “I missed…well, I was late for my wedding. For your own wed…my own wedding…my husband didn’t even get there until after 7.” (02:26, Caller 4)

• On friends who know all the shortcuts:

  “I have a friend who knows how to get anywhere. He can get from Marietta to Stone Mountain on the surface streets.” (05:16, Caller 3)

• The heartbreak of missing out:

  “Traffic was so bad that I didn’t make it there…that evening he passed… I felt so guilty.” (04:00–04:37, Caller 3 (Sharon))

• Every city has ‘that guy’:

  “He’ll get mad at you if you take the highway…starts screaming at you.” (05:52–06:04, Caller 2)

Important Timestamps

• 01:34 – Opening discussion of notorious Atlanta traffic
• 01:39–02:15 – Caller shares being late for Pet Fest due to traffic
• 02:23–03:21 – Jessica recounts being late (with her husband) to their own wedding
• 03:28–03:48 – A caller’s in-laws miss her wedding
• 03:57–04:37 – Sharon shares missing her brother’s last moments due to gridlock
• 05:16–06:07 – Banter on shortcut masters and “that friend” who always knows the back roads
• 06:07–06:23 – On “crash,” the radio station’s go-to for traffic directions

Tone & Takeaways

The Bert Show crew keeps things breezy and real, letting listeners vent while offering plenty of laughs, empathy, and Atlanta-specific banter. Whether it’s the comedic horror of missed weddings or the poignant weight of a family loss, the episode captures the high-stakes, everyday reality of being “late because of traffic”—with a distinctly communal feel.

Ideal for:
Anyone who’s ever groaned at a snarl of brake lights—or wants to feel less alone in life’s time-lost moments on the road.