Vault: What's a Good Day To Breakup Before the Holidays?

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: What's a Good Day To Breakup Before the Holidays?
Date: May 20, 2026

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode centers on a lighthearted (but honest) group discussion about the most "acceptable" time to break up with someone before the holidays. The cast and callers share their opinions, experiences, and stories about navigating breakups during "the most wonderful time of the year," highlighting the emotional and practical stakes of ending a relationship around Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Breakup Window” Before the Holidays

• [01:24] Host (Bird): Kicks off the segment noting that the week right after Thanksgiving is the last reasonable window to break up before the Christmas season is in full effect.
• They explain the stress and awkwardness of breaking up as the big holidays approach, with the consensus being that after this week, breaking up gets "colder."
• [01:46] Co-host (Amy): Suggests Thanksgiving should be the last possible opportunity, marking a “no breakup zone” after that.
• The crew discusses the "turkey drop," a term for breakups over Thanksgiving weekend to avoid holiday obligations.
• [02:26] Co-host (Jeff): "Turkey drop is when you break up with people on Thanksgiving weekend to get out of the holiday obligations."

2. Social and Emotional Implications

• The group reflects on how holiday plans, gift-giving, and family events complicate breakups.
• [03:09] Amy: "Between now and Christmas to New Year's, you're sticking it through to the New Year's kiss."
• They joke about needing to "put on an Academy Award" to act out a relationship until it's socially acceptable to end things.
• Discussions of remaining in a relationship solely to avoid loneliness or uncomfortable family questions abound.

3. Listener Stories: True Breakup Experiences

• [06:22] John’s Story:

  • Broke up with by his girlfriend on Christmas morning after two years together and plans to propose.
  • "I was going to pick out the engagement ring the next week." [06:35]
  • The cast speculates (half-jokingly) about whether she had another love interest.
  • [07:17] Host (Bird): "Damn, that hurts."

• [08:07] Caller’s Story (Anonymous):

  • Decided with her husband, the day before Thanksgiving, to get a divorce.
  • Moved out immediately but both agreed to formally end things after the holidays for the sake of family appearances.
  • "He had kids from a previous marriage...that's a big kink in it." [08:27]
  • "We're gonna wait until after the holidays to file the papers." [08:53]

• [09:04] Lisa’s Story:

  • 38-year-old woman dating a 22-year-old guy; uncertain about continuing but dreads being alone at Christmas.
  • Shares that the relationship started fun and casual but became more complex.
  • Co-hosts tease her affectionately about the age gap and impending breakup.
  • [09:49] Wendy: "Go over to his parents' house when he gets his new bike."
  • [10:24] Lisa: "I really would [rather be with him through Christmas than break up now]."
  • She admits to wanting one last rendezvous before ending things, showing ambivalence and humor in her outlook.
  • [10:41] Lisa: "...the sex is so good now."
  • [11:04] Lisa: "I wanna be the cougar that lets the young one go."

4. Quotes & Notable Moments

• [04:49] Wendy: "So you gotta say today. Today is the say no to Love day."
• [04:54] Bird: "Today is prime time."
• [06:08] Bird: "Going to stick it out. But...the first call you're making is, I never want to see you again. I hate you and I've hated you for three months."
• [10:52] Host/Bird: "Why can't you just continue to have sex with the guy but they don't have a relationship?" (Lisa replies: "Because now I've developed feelings for this young guy, and that's not right.")
• [11:09] Bird (joking): "Today is your day. I mean, this is breakup day. We should officially make this some kind of holiday."
• [12:17] Wendy: "Just make sure between now and the time, you or he doesn't hear the new R. Kelly song because that will make it impossible to break up."

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Timeline of Key Segments

• [01:24] – Discussion starts: “Is this the week to break up before the holidays?”
• [02:16–02:54] – Introduction of “turkey drop” and narrowing the breakup window.
• [03:14–04:15] – Speculation on when’s “too late” for a holiday breakup.
• [04:45] – Declaration: “Today is the say no to Love day.”
• [05:55] – Inviting listener stories of sticking it out until after New Year’s.
• [06:22–07:17] – John’s Christmas breakup story.
• [08:07–08:53] – Anonymous caller’s pre-holiday divorce decision.
• [09:04–12:50] – Lisa’s “cougar” relationship and her dilemma about ending it before the holidays, with plenty of cast banter.

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Memorable Quotes (with Attributions & Timestamps)

• Bird [01:46]: “You probably have this week to end—what, the seventh? Cause even the 15th is too close to Christmas to break up.”
• Amy [02:03]: “I would have thought already you’re in the no-breakup zone...that has to happen before Thanksgiving.”
• Jeff [02:26]: "Turkey drop is when you break up with people on Thanksgiving weekend to get out of the holiday obligations.”
• Wendy [04:49]: “So you gotta say today. Today is the say no to Love day.”
• John (Caller) [06:35]: “I was going to pick out the engagement ring the next week.”
• Lisa (Caller) [10:24]: “Yeah. Yeah, I really would [rather be with him through Christmas than be alone].”
• Lisa (Caller) [10:41]: “The sex is so good now.”
• Bird [11:09]: “This is breakup day. We should officially make this some kind of holiday.”
• Wendy [12:17]: "Just make sure between now and ... you or he doesn't hear the new R. Kelly song because that will make it impossible to break up."

---

Tone & Style

The episode is classic Bert Show: candid, funny, irreverent, with a sympathetic but playful approach to relationship woes. The team mixes practical advice, friendly teasing, and audience engagement, keeping the mood light on a sensitive topic. Callers’ stories add authenticity and variety, while recurring jokes (about age gaps, “cougar” relationships, and the holiday timeline) riff through the episode.

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Summary Takeaways

• There’s (semi-serious) consensus that the last reasonable week for a pre-holiday breakup is right after Thanksgiving, known as the “turkey drop.”
• Waiting until after the holidays might feel easier, but often just prolongs the inevitable.
• Social obligations, family, and loneliness make holiday breakups especially fraught.
• Listener stories highlight heartbreak, humorous dilemmas, and the emotional messiness of holiday-timed relationships.
• The Bert Show remains empathetic while always delivering their banter-driven comic relief.

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For listeners: If you’re contemplating ending a relationship before the holidays, this episode offers both laughs and relatable insights—along with the perennial advice that “today is breakup day!”

Transcript

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[Host (Bird)]

social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details. This is the Bird show. So if you're in a relationship right now. I read an article this morning that makes total sense to me and I don't mean to freak you out, but tis the season. Okay, for breaking up. This is it right here. This is the week, actually.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Why this week?

[Host (Bird)]

Well, think about it. You got Christmas right around the corner here and your window of breaking up close to Christmas, you really have to ask yourself, look, you probably have this week to the end. What, the seventh? Because even the 15th is too close to Christmas to break up.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

I would have thought already you're in the no breakup zone. Because I would have thought that has to happen before Thanksgiving.

[Host (Bird)]

I would think so. But I do think you have a small window here. Like if you Just can't take it anymore. This would be the week to get out.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

Well, there was a. I mean, that bad. I had never heard it before, but the term turkey drop.

[Caller 1]

Have you that.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

That was this weekend.

[Host (Bird)]

Yeah.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

The turkey drop is when you break up with people on.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

On Thanksgiving weekend to get out of the hol.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

That's awesome.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

Obligations.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

So you would like turkey drop on Wednesday and then you can do whatever you want on Thursday and just.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

And the rest of the holiday. Like, your time to break up was this past weekend.

[Host (Bird)]

Now, I still think that if you didn't break up this weekend going into Thanksgiving, you did your time. I still think that this week is the only week that you have through New Year's.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Oh, yeah.

[Host (Bird)]

This is it.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

Well, and some say, even if extended through Valentine's, I mean, like, you know, the whole idea of breaking up is the holiday season really goes into Valentine's Day.

[Host (Bird)]

Yeah.

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[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

But you got time in between New Year's and Valentine's. That's a lot of weeks. That's what, six weeks in between that.

[Host (Bird)]

Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

You could do it. But you're right. Between now Christmas to New Year's, you're sticking it through the New Year's kiss.

[Host (Bird)]

This is it. So you really gotta make a commitment this week. Like, if you're in, you're in for the next four weeks. Plus, you're in on a relationship where you're gonna spend money.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

Cause think about this.

[Host (Bird)]

You really have to, like, put on an Academy Award for the next month.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

Ye. Because. I mean, because Valentine's Day be a little touchy. Because if you were with somebody and you got them a nice Christmas gift and you had a really romantic New Year's, then I mean, you really. You do feel kind of obligated through Valentine's.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

If you're teetering to jump off the diving board, though, I think you gotta do it now. Yeah.

[Host (Bird)]

Today is the what, 30th? Yep, yep. Today's the 30th.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

So you start the month fresh.

[Host (Bird)]

Tomorrow is the first.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Yeah, just rip it off like a band aid.

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[Host (Bird)]

Or even through the weekend.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

But come Monday, 4th is exactly three weeks until Christmas.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

That seems too close today, I think today. Because it's still November, even though I think it's got to be today. You know what I mean?

[Host (Bird)]

Like, three weeks before Christmas and two weeks before Christmas sound like totally different stories.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

See, I even think three weeks is too close. I think three weeks.

[Host (Bird)]

You're right, it is. But I Mean, if you're. If I'm. If you're talking to two people and one of you. One of them tells you that they were broken up with two weeks before Christmas, and the other one says three. It seems like light years.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

I think here's. And here's.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

It's gonna be a rainy Monday.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

The way the story is gonna be told is if you do the breakup today, the breakup happens. The breakup happens before midnight tonight. You got broken up with right after Thanksgiving, but if it happens tomorrow or later, you broke up with me right before Christmas.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Yes, true.

[Host (Bird)]

I would take right after Thanksgiving because that's December.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

So you gotta say today. Today is the say no to Love day.

[Host (Bird)]

Today is prime time.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

Yep.

[Host (Bird)]

I mean, if you really want to be lazy about it, because the idea to break up usually happens, and then it takes days, weeks, if not months to actually execute.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

You got to squint your eyes and do it today. Just push through it.

[Host (Bird)]

Hey, John. Good morning. You're right. I wonder if we could find anybody that would rather be in a bad relationship right now. Just like, you know, he doesn't want to be in it, but you would just rather go through the motions and have him break up right after New Year's rather than be broken up with right now.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

A ton of women who feel that way, and they even feel mediocre about the relationship, but they're like, I don't feel like

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

parties and all that stuff,

[Host (Bird)]

but, like, if you're gonna. If you know you're gonna break up with the dude, like, right after January, are you sticking it up, sticking it out this month?

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Depends on how long you've been dating. If you've been together several years. Yeah, you're riding it through.

[Host (Bird)]

You gotta ride it through.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

I think under a year, you're probably ready to bounce right now, but you

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have office parties that you need dates to. You're not gonna break up right now.

[Host (Bird)]

I want to talk to the people that already know it's over. January 2nd, this thing's over. 404-741. Q100.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Ouch.

[Host (Bird)]

But like Jen said, you've been in the relationship two or three years.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

You're like, ah, I don't want to explain it to my mother.

[Host (Bird)]

Going to stick it out. But, you know, January 2nd, the first call you're making is, I never want to see you again. I hate you and I've hated you for three months.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Move out.

[Host (Bird)]

Hey, John. What's going on?

[Caller 2 (John)]

Not too much. How are y' all doing?

[Host (Bird)]

Good, man. What's up?

[Caller 2 (John)]

I was Going to go back about three or four years ago. I was dating a girl for about two years, and she broke up with me on Christmas morning.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Oh, no, no, you can't do that.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

Violation.

[Caller 2 (John)]

Yeah, and I already had reservations at the Westin for New Year's Eve and had planned to go pick out the engagement ring the next week.

[Host (Bird)]

Why was she so desperate that that was the day? Like, did you guys get into a small bubbling argument that turned into something huge?

[Caller 2 (John)]

Not. No idea. As far as I know, she still won't ever tell me to this day what happened.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Wow.

[Host (Bird)]

I've got a theory, but I don't want to tell you because it'll hurt your feelings.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

Well, you can tell us.

[Caller 2 (John)]

Go ahead.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

Don't tell him. Tell us.

[Host (Bird)]

Is it possible that she had another dude and she wanted to spend that Christmas Day with him?

[Caller 2 (John)]

I have no idea. But she never returned any phone calls, and her friends and everything said that she just didn't want to be with him, be with anybody for that period of time, but I don't know. I think she was cheating on me, but I don't know.

[Host (Bird)]

Damn, that hurts.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

Christmas morning. God.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

That's brutal.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

That's rude.

[Host (Bird)]

I told you. Chandra and I broke up on Valentine's Day. I just couldn't take it anymore. We were at Valentine's night dinner.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

When did you get back together? How many days after that?

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

The next day.

[Host (Bird)]

Probably the next day, two hours later, it was at I'll never Forget Houston.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

Did you make a scene?

[Host (Bird)]

It was one of those under the breath arguments. And it was. You had to sit through the whole Valentine's dinner, basically quiet, made the waiter uncomfortable.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

You're looking at all the other tables, and the couples are, like, holding hands.

[Host (Bird)]

It's been 17 years. I still dislike her so much right now. I'm getting so pissed.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Let it go, dude. Let it go.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

Careful. Wendy's about to throw a glass of water on you.

[Host (Bird)]

Hey, Amy.

[Caller 2 (John)]

Good Morning.

[Host (Bird)]

You're on Q100.

[Caller 1]

Good morning.

[Host (Bird)]

Hi.

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

Hi.

[Caller 1]

Well, I guess my whole story is my husband and I kind of decided on Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, that we were going to get a divorce. Seriously? I packed up, like, all my stuff, what I could fit in my car, and I left. And I have my dog.

[Weight Loss Advertiser Partner]

You just couldn't take one more family gathering?

[Caller 1]

No, no. Just couldn't do it. He had kids from my previous marriage. I don't have any kids, so. That kind of big kink in it.

[Host (Bird)]

So you decided? Look, as soon as the holidays are over, we already know this is Over. But we'll go through the motions for Everybody. But come January 2nd, that's it, we're filing.

[Caller 1]

Right. Well, you know, I'm, you know, I'm already out. I'm not with him anymore. I'm unfortunately had to move back home. But you know, my dad's awesome, so

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

he's like, just come on home.

[Caller 1]

So I did. And we're gonna wait until after the holidays to file the papers and everything.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Okay, but at least you cut out now.

[Host (Bird)]

Yeah, right. It's a lot of time invested right there. Hey, Lisa. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

Good morning.

[Host (Bird)]

Morning.

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

Well, yeah, I really need to break up with him because he's 22 and I'm 38.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Oh, okay.

[Caller 1]

Wow.

[Host (Bird)]

Okay.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

How long you been seeing each other?

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

Two years.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Since he was 20.

[Caller 2 (John)]

Wow.

[Host (Bird)]

He hit the cougar jackpot. Now, was this like a serious emotional relationship or was this like a boy toy of yours?

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

No, at first it started off just like something fun, something to do, great sex, you know, all of that. Then it turned into a relationship, which of course, he's so young. It's like I'm more serious than he is, so I'm. It's time to back it up. But I don't want to be alone for Christmas.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

Well, why don't you just go over to his parents house when he gets his new bike,

[Host (Bird)]

his little. His little Radio Flyer.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

You guys could spend the night in his room together and then come down in your pajamas. And mom and dad could take a picture of him coming around the corner like they have for the past 11 years of his life. His little footy PJ's on. You can help him the night before you come. He could put. You can help him put the milk and cookies out for Sienna in a Christmas dinner.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

He can cut his meat.

[Host (Bird)]

So you would rather be with this guy knowing that it's over after the holidays than be alone on Christmas?

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

Yeah. Yeah, I really would.

[Host (Bird)]

Because you're not miserable.

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

I'm not miserable.

[Host (Bird)]

But you're just over it.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Is he giving you the Heisman or what?

[Caller 1]

Yeah.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Yeah.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

Cause you're being too serious. You want a relationship and he's. He wanted just to have fun.

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

Yeah. And at first it started off both of us just wanted to have fun. Then he wanted to be serious. I think he's over it. And I'm kind of over it too. But man, the sex is so good now.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Are you.

[Host (Bird)]

I don't keep you around. I know what you said.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

Yeah. Are you gonna be mad if he Breaks up with you before the holiday.

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

I'm gonna be PO'd.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

Aww.

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

So I wanna do it first. I wanna be the cougar that lets the young one go.

[Host (Bird)]

Right?

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

Then you need to do it today.

[Host (Bird)]

Do it today. Today.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

Today is still November.

[Host (Bird)]

Yeah, today is your day. I mean, this is breakup day. We should officially make this some kind of holiday.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

This is breakup day.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

You've got plenty of time to wrap up a new president under the tree.

[Host (Bird)]

You know, like, what time are you gonna wrap up? What time are you gonna wrap up work tonight?

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

I am off of work today.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Okay.

[Host (Bird)]

What time is he out of school? What time is last bell?

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

What time are you picking him up at the bottom town?

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

That is so funny and so wrong.

[Host (Bird)]

Is he available, like, tonight? Cause I'm thinking, hook him up a couple more times tonight and then let him go. Okay, I'll do that, like, at midnight tonight.

[Co-host 1 (Amy)]

Call us tomorrow and see if you could let us know if you could do it.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

Call us tomorrow and let us know you didn't do it.

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

Cause Jeff is right. I probably won't, but. Okay, I'm gonna try. I'm really gonna try. But if we have sex, it's over. All right? I can't do it, right?

[Host (Bird)]

So, you know, let them.

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

Let them being honest. All these women be like, oh, we're just, you know, it's not the same. It's just pure sex. That's all it is.

[Host (Bird)]

Well, whatever you do, why can't you continue to do that then? Why can't you just continue to have sex with the guy but they don't have a relationship?

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

Because now I've developed feelings for this young guy, and that's not right.

[Host (Bird)]

Break up. Break up. You gotta let him go today. Today's breakup day.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

It's November. Breakup.

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

I will try.

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Break up. Happy breakup day.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

Just make sure between now and the time, you're gonna talk to him. You or he doesn't hear the new R. Kelly song because that will make it impossible to break up.

[Co-host 2 (Jeff)]

He's gonna break up with you if you don't do it.

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

I think so, too. I think so too.

[Caller 2 (John)]

All right.

[Host (Bird)]

Get it on the checkup at least.

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

Well, I have to see him today around 1 o', clock, so.

[Host (Bird)]

All right, cool. One last present for him and then you gotta go.

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

Okay, I'll try.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

By 1:30 you should be single.

[Host (Bird)]

Can we talk to you?

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

I don't think we don't have sex.

[Host (Bird)]

Let's talk tomorrow morning to see if you actually did it or not.

[Caller 3 (Lisa)]

Okay.

[Host (Bird)]

All right. Hold on.

[Co-host 3 (Wendy)]

She totally won't.

[Host (Bird)]

I guarantee she has sex with that guy. She's not gonna break up at 2. This is the Bird show.

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