Vault: When is it OK for a man to cry?

Summary

The Bert Show: "When is it OK for a Man to Cry?"

Episode: Vault: When is it OK for a man to cry?
Date: July 24, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show dives into cultural attitudes around men's emotional expression—specifically, when it's considered acceptable for men to cry. Prompted by Jake Pavelka’s emotional exit from "Dancing with the Stars", the cast and callers debate the limits and nuances of male vulnerability, sharing personal anecdotes and opinions sprinkled with humor and sharp commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Jake Pavelka’s On-Air Tears Spark the Debate

Prompt: [00:30–01:24]

• Jake Pavelka’s tearful goodbye on "Dancing with the Stars" launches a lively discussion about men crying publicly, especially in competitive or high-profile scenarios.
• Bert Show cast questions:
  • Is it "over the top" for a man to cry when leaving a reality show, especially when thanking his dance partner?
  • Does calling a dance partner your "best friend" while engaged cross a line?

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2. Is There a Double Standard? When Should Men Cry?

Prompt: [01:24–03:20]

• Host & Co-host banter:
  • "If your significant other had been on a show like this and then they were crying because they were leaving and telling you that their dance partner was their best friend… I'd be like, wait a second. Why are you crying? Especially a guy crying." (Caller, 01:38)
• The conversation pivots: Should a man’s fiancée be concerned if he’s emotionally attached to his dance partner?
• Cast considers male sensitivity and female expectations:
  • "Dudes have been bred that women want a guy that's sensitive. And Stacy would pay $150 to see me cry more often." (Co-host, 02:03)

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3. “Good” vs “Bad” Crying: Drawing the Line

Prompt: [02:20–03:46]

• Cast distinguishes “acceptable” reasons for men to cry:
  • Good cry examples: Major life moments (winning the Super Bowl, birth of a child, losing a loved one).
  • Bad cry examples: Sports losses, non-tragic setbacks, or when another man must step in for comfort outside extreme circumstances.
• Notable quote:
  • "If you’re a dude and you’re crying to the point where another guy comes up and rubs your back in comfort, that’s a bad cry." (Guest, 03:04)

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4. Situational Gray Areas: Listeners Weigh In

Prompt: [03:50–06:22]

• Caller Elizabeth:
  • Shares being "turned off" when her husband cried along with Tim Tebow watching football.
  • "I was like, all right, wrap it up. You know, cry it all up." (Host relays, 04:14)
• Wendy’s story:
  • Her husband cries after every argument, and she admits it sometimes makes her laugh:
    • "He seems like he's very emotional, and he cries a lot about everything." (Host, 04:42)
    • Panel jokes, “Can you say therapy?”
• Caller’s supervisor anecdote:
  • Female supervisor was "shocked" and "so turned off" seeing a male subordinate cry after a reprimand at work.
    • "Oh, that’s unacceptable on so many different levels." (Co-host, 05:09)

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5. Setting Boundaries: What Makes a Cry 'Unacceptable'?

Prompt: [05:25–05:59]

• Caller Melanie:
  • Says it's unacceptable for a man to cry over material losses—her ex cried after failing to secure financing for a Harley Davidson.
    • “Really? My ex-husband was crying on the couch…he realized the financing fell through on his Harley Davidson.” (Host, 05:35)
    • “And one of the reasons why he’s your ex-husband now, right?” (Co-host, 05:50)

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6. Emotional Movies: Are There Limits?

Prompt: [06:03–06:37]

• Caller Hillary:
  • Revels in the softer side of her boyfriend—he "balls like a baby" during the father-son reunion in The Knight's Tale, with the show gently ribbing, “What a knight.”
• Panelists share their last movie cries:
  • "End of Rudy."
  • "End of Ratatouille."
  • "Tears of happiness that it was finally over." (Co-host's joke, 06:37)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "If you're a dude and you're crying to the point where another guy comes up and rubs your back in comfort, that's a bad cry."
  – Guest, [03:04]
• "He realized the financing fell through on his Harley Davidson… and he was crying on the couch when I came home—I thought somebody had died."
  – Host, [05:35]
• "He seems like he's very emotional, and he cries a lot about everything."
  – Host (about her husband), [04:42]
• "To me, it's just like Jesse James. It's better to find out now that he's a girly crier over nonsense…"
  – Caller, [01:51]
• "Bring a Minky Couture blanket home and it may instantly become the most wanted seat in the house."
  (Ad skipped; included for tone, not content)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:30–01:24: Jake Pavelka’s elimination and emotional exit from "Dancing with the Stars"
• 01:28–03:46: Cast debates “acceptable” vs “unacceptable” occasions for male tears
• 03:50–04:23: Caller Elizabeth recounts her husband's emotional sports moment
• 04:25–04:53: Wendy discusses her husband’s pattern of crying after fights
• 05:09–05:13: Supervisor's workplace story about a male employee crying at work
• 05:25–05:52: Ex-husband’s tears over losing out on a Harley Davidson
• 06:03–06:22: Boyfriend cries at A Knight’s Tale; cast shares movie-cry confessions

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Episode Tone & Takeaways

• The conversation is light-hearted, sarcastic, and honest, matching the show's authentic, humorous style.
• The overarching takeaway: While there are universally understood times for men to be emotional, many still feel discomfort when men express vulnerability in less “serious” situations—especially sports, arguments, or material disappointment.
• The Bert Show concludes there’s no simple rulebook, but laughter, candor, and shared stories continue prompting listeners to rethink old stereotypes and embrace more nuance around men’s emotional expression.

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Transcript

[Host]

Hey, everybody.

[Lady Luck]

Lady luck here. And we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer long, I'm going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Co-host]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Commentator]

Dear Burt show the number one show on television right now is Dancing with the Stars. It beat out American Idol again last week in the ratings. So this is the third time this season it's been number one. And last night was a big departure of Jake Pavelka. He was the latest bachelor on the wings of love and was also competing on Dancing with the Stars. And when he was eliminated last night, it got pretty emotional when he was talking about his relationship with his dancing partner.

[Co-host]

Is there anything that you want to say to Chelsea?

[Guest]

Thank you so much, Chelsea.

[Co-host]

You're one of my best friends.

[Host]

Trying.

[Caller]

Come on.

[Host]

Crying.

[Guest]

I have loved every second of this. I love you. Thank you for being so great to my beautiful fiance, Vienna.

[Caller]

Vienna.

[Guest]

Thank you, everybody, for watching and keeping me in.

[Caller]

Come on.

[Commentator]

Now,

[Caller]

let me ask y' all a question.

[Commentator]

A little over the top?

[Caller]

Yeah. Let me ask you a question. If your significant other had been on a show like this and then they were crying because they were leaving and telling you that their dance partner was

[Co-host]

their best friend, right?

[Caller]

I'd be like, when that happened, I'd be like, wait a second. Why are you crying? Especially a guy crying. You're best friend.

[Commentator]

No, I would be ticked.

[Co-host]

Yeah, you would be.

[Host]

What?

[Caller]

Yes. Why are you crying?

[Guest]

I would. To me, it's just like Jesse James. It's better to find out now that he's a girly crier over nonsense than no, it's different.

[Caller]

No, that's not what I'm asking. He's crying and calling his dance partner

[Co-host]

his best friend, and he's engaged right now. Right? So that should be his best friend. She's like, what? Here's what I want to know from women, though. Like, because I think that dudes have been bred that women want a guy that's sensitive. And Stacy would. She would pay $150 to see me cry more often. Right? So I want to know from women, when has it turned you off to see your man cry? Like, over what?

[Commentator]

Like Tim Tebow.

[Co-host]

Like Tim Tebow crying on the side. You're sitting there and you're watching Florida and Tebow starts crying on the sidelines, and your man starts crying. That's a turn off right there.

[Commentator]

But, like, who was the guy? Drew from Brees Breeze from the Saints, right? He's crying. He's like, wins the Super Bowl. He's got his baby in his hand and his wife.

[Guest]

That's good, though.

[Commentator]

That's a good cry.

[Co-host]

Phil Nicholson, good cry.

[Guest]

Tim Tebow wasn't there another player, like, rubbing his head.

[Commentator]

I mean, it was a game, and he was boohoo and like, a sore loser. Loser cry.

[Co-host]

That's what I want to know right there. If you're a woman and you've been turned off by your man crying, I want to know what the circumstances. 404,741. Q100.

[Guest]

If you're a dude and you're crying to the point where another guy comes up and rubs your back in comfort, that's a bad cry. Like, if you see. If you see a crying dude with another man rubbing his back and it's not like a funeral type situation,

[Caller]

there

[Co-host]

are gonna be different levels to this, too. Like when your man's dog passes away, if he cries. Okay, cool. Totally cool. If he's crying two weeks later, not cool. Okay, then we got problems.

[Caller]

Always two weeks.

[Commentator]

He can cry to me anytime. A man and his best friend. To me, that's fine.

[Caller]

A man can always cry over his father.

[Commentator]

Yes, yes. Or his mom or his mother.

[Co-host]

That's acceptable.

[Commentator]

Or a sibling or a child.

[Co-host]

But what is not? Elizabeth, good morning. You're on Q100.

[Host]

Good morning. My husband definitely cried with Tim Tebow as he cried. Definitely a turn off.

[Caller]

So when is your divorce final?

[Host]

No, that's okay. We're still married. But I'm a Georgia fan and he's a Florida fan, and he was crying right with him.

[Caller]

I get it. You get to hang that over his head for the rest of his life. Perfect.

[Co-host]

Okay. Did you say to him, like, suck it up, dude. It's a football game. Come on.

[Host]

Yeah, I know. That's exactly what I said. And we had plans that night. I was like, all right, wrap it up. You know, cry it all up.

[Caller]

The passion of the sport.

[Commentator]

I understand.

[Co-host]

Wendy, when is it not acceptable to

[Host]

cry for a guy, especially after fights, it seems like he thinks it's over and he just starts crying, and I just start laughing at him.

[Co-host]

Oh, no, no.

[Commentator]

This is your boyfriend.

[Host]

He seems like he's very emotional, and he cries a lot about everything.

[Co-host]

This Is a boyfriend or husband?

[Host]

Husband. I've been with him for 12 years.

[Co-host]

So every time you guys fight, he's boohooing after it?

[Host]

Yes.

[Commentator]

Can you say therapy?

[Caller]

I. And I'm curious about this. If this. If this guy's wife knew. But I have a friend who is in a supervisor position over a guy and said that she was shocked when he was in. He tried at work and she was reprimanding him for something, and he began to cry.

[Co-host]

Oh, that's unacceptable on so many different levels.

[Caller]

She was so turned off. But she. I mean, and she, you know, has no relationship with this guy, but she. She was in shock.

[Co-host]

Melanie, besides Jake bawling last night after getting kicked off of Dancing with the Stars, when is it totally unacceptable for

[Host]

a dude to cry when he realizes he can't get a Harley Davidson?

[Co-host]

Seriously? Really?

[Host]

Really? My ex husband was crying on the couch when I came home, and I asked him what was wrong. I thought somebody had died. And he realized the financing fell through on his Harley Davidson.

[Co-host]

And one of the reasons why he's your ex husband now, right?

[Host]

One of them, yes.

[Guest]

Was he, like, wearing his chaps, you know, while he was crying, holding on to them.

[Commentator]

Come on.

[Co-host]

Sometimes you really want that. Harley, here is Hillary. Good morning.

[Host]

Good morning. Every time my boyfriend watches the Knight's Tale, he balls like a baby.

[Co-host]

What a knight.

[Host]

When the. When they're reunited with his father.

[Co-host]

Oh, really? Does your husband have, like, daddy issues?

[Host]

No, he's never had daddy issues. He just loves that part.

[Caller]

I mean, that is an emotional part of the movie. Cause his dad is blonde. I know it's him.

[Guest]

End of Rudy.

[Co-host]

I never really cried at the end of Rudy. I mean, it's an emotion.

[Commentator]

What's the last movie that made you cry?

[Guest]

End of Ratatouille.

[Co-host]

I was tears of happiness that it was finally over. The last movie that made me CR Wasn't that long ago. I can't remember it, though. Stacy's begging me to cry sometimes. I.

[Guest]

Like she burns you like you're asleep. She gets a cigarette lighter and holds it under your bottom part of your arm where it really hurts. The Birch Show.

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[Host]

Hey everybody.

[Lady Luck]

Lady Luck here and we're celebrating America's 250th birthday. Now all summer going to be celebrating by playing on spinquest.com which is an American owned social casino. It obviously features over a thousand slot games and live blackjack, live craps, live bubble craps. Head on over to spinquest.com get yourself a 30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Co-host]

Spin Quest is a free to play social casino Boyd where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.