Vault: When Was The Worst Moment Your Man Burst Into Tears?

Summary

The Bert Show — Vault: When Was The Worst Moment Your Man Burst Into Tears?

Air Date: January 7, 2026
Podcast Host: The Bert Show/Cast
Episode Theme: Exploring awkward or unexpected moments when men cry, especially those that turned out to be turn-offs in relationships.

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Episode Overview

The episode dives humorously and candidly into cultural expectations around masculinity and emotional expression, focusing particularly on stories of men breaking down in tears at “the wrong moment.” The hosts and listeners share funny, awkward, and revealing stories about times when men’s displays of vulnerability, especially crying, led to embarrassment, misunderstandings, or relationship issues. The tone is light, comedic, and unfiltered, blending personal anecdotes and audience calls to weigh how much emotion is “too much” for men, particularly from the perspective of women partners.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting Up the Topic: What’s the Threshold for Men Crying? (02:01)

• The hosts open with a discussion inspired by a reality show moment, questioning whether men crying can actually be a turn-off.
  • Host: “As guys, we have been told from when we're very, very young, men are tough, we do not cry... Then as we get into our 20s, women want to see more emotion from us.” (02:26)
  • They challenge listeners to share stories where a man’s emotional moment backfired.

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2. Listener Stories: When Tears Became a Turn-Off

A. “Crying After Sex” (03:12)

• Chris: Shares a story of a man bursting into tears during their first intimate encounter, leading to a quick breakup.
  • Chris: “The first time that they made love, he burst into tears during the finale…she dumped him after that...I actually think she dumped him before he left her house.” (03:12–03:33)

B. “Tears at the Movies”

• Multiple listeners recount moments men cried at emotional movie scenes, often to the surprise or embarrassment of their partners.
• Titanic:
  • Chrissy: “He cried for about 15 minutes, and we had to wait for everyone to leave the theater. I was so embarrassed…Needless to say, we did not get married.” (04:02–04:28)
• Lord of the Rings:
  • Matilda: “The hugest time that it was a turn off was after we saw the Lord of the Rings 3 and he just started bawling at the end. So embarrassing. I just got totally turned off.” (04:55)
• Rocky:
  • Jessica: “Rocky just went off. He's in there crying over Rocky...He just got up. Rocky just went off. He's in there crying...” (05:54–06:43)

C. “First Date Meltdown” (07:02)

• Christina: Shares an awkward first date at the Nutcracker where her date starts sobbing about a broken engagement before the show even starts.
  • Christina: “He starts crying like big alligator. Tears start streaming down his face… the older couple behind me leaned forward and the guy goes, get a grip, man.” (07:13–07:44)

D. “Performance Issues and Tears” (08:20)

• Nicole: Recounts her boyfriend crying after being unable to perform sexually, feeling “double turned off.”
  • Nicole: “My boyfriend couldn't get it up one time...then he starts crying, like, next to me.” (08:20–08:39)

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3. A Pattern Emerges: Men Crying at Movies (09:16 onward)

• The hosts notice that most stories center on men crying during movies.
  • Host: “If you're a woman, tell us what movies your guys have cried over, because that seems to be the reoccurring theme here.” (09:16)
• Notable movies include:
  • Rockstar (09:16)
  • Rudy: Universally acknowledged as an acceptable “man cry movie.” (09:49)
  • The Notebook, Eight Seconds (13:08)
  • Homeward Bound (13:55)
  • Big Fish “It's a dad thing. It’s a dad connection.” (14:31)
  • Ladder 49: The death of a fireman and notification of family hits hard. (14:44)
  • Man on Fire (15:39)
• The crew discusses how themes involving fathers, animals, or triumphant underdogs seem to “permit” men to cry.

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4. Acceptable Tears: Fathers, Sports, and Animals

• Emotional Triggers: Themes involving father-son relationships, sports, and animals emerge as “socially acceptable” reasons for men to cry.
  • Chris: “It's a dad thing. It's a dad connection.” (14:31)
• On Homeward Bound:
  • Julie: “In the very last scene, when the older dog comes running up over the hill…my husband cries, animals.” (13:55)

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5. Flipping the Narrative: Is It Ever OK for Men to Cry?

• Male Listeners Chime In: Some male callers defend showing emotion:
  • Caller 'Yellow Boy': “Nothing wrong with crying over a movie, man… I cry when I go to the movies.” (15:25–16:10)
  • Host: “If you walk away with one piece of life advice today, it’s this: Even hermaphrodites cry.” (16:15)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On gender expectations:

  • Host (Bert?): “We have been told from when we're very, very young, men are tough, we do not cry.” (02:26)

• On cringey emotional displays:

  • Chris: “He burst into tears during the finale…she dumped him after that.” (03:13)
  • Chrissy: “He cried for about 15 minutes, and we had to wait for everyone to leave the theater. I was so embarrassed.” (04:05)
  • Nicole: “He couldn't get it up and he was…so upset about it, he started crying about it. So emotional about it. … Double turn off.” (08:36)

• On movie triggers:

  • Caller (Dana): “The movie was Blow with Johnny Depp. …I looked over at him and he had tears streaming down his face, too.” (12:02)
  • Phil: “There's actually only been one movie I've ever cried at. … That movie, Tommy Boy.” (11:10)

• Light-hearted life advice:

  • Host: “Even hermaphrodites cry.” (16:15)
  • Chris: “So says Yellow Boy.” (16:22)

• On guy codes for crying:

  • “Guys will only show their crying when they know there are other guys around that are crying also.” (12:21)

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Timestamps for Notable Segments

• [02:01] Opening the conversation about men crying and social expectations.
• [03:12] The iconic 'crying after sex' breakup story.
• [04:02] Listener story: crying at Titanic leads to embarrassment and breakup.
• [04:55] Crying at Lord of the Rings — “hugest turn off.”
• [05:54] Rocky tears spark a family argument.
• [07:02] Nutcracker first date meltdown.
• [08:20] Crying over performance issues.
• [09:16] Transition to “movies guys cry over” segment.
• [13:55] Listener: crying at Homeward Bound.
• [14:31] Father-son themes as emotional Achilles’ heel.
• [15:39] Male caller defends crying, mentions Man on Fire.
• [16:15] “Even hermaphrodites cry.”

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Flow & Tone

• Lively, irreverent, and playful; flirtations with dark humor.
• Gender stereotypes are approached with irony and sarcasm.
• Authentic, unfiltered sharing from hosts and listeners alike.
• The show encourages vulnerability and pokes fun at both traditional masculinity and its contradictions.

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Summary

This episode of The Bert Show offers a blend of comic relief and genuine social commentary on men and vulnerability, using listener call-ins and personal stories to break down social myths about masculinity. While women frequently say they want emotional men, these anecdotes reveal how cultural norms and personal preferences often create uncomfortable double standards about how—and when—men are “allowed” to cry. Emotional movie moments, especially those involving fathers, sports, or animals, seem to get a pass, while untimely or excessive emotional displays (especially in new relationships or intimate contexts) still spark awkwardness or even disdain. The episode concludes with a call for more compassion—and a reminder, courtesy of “Yellow Boy,” that absolutely everyone cries sometimes.

Transcript

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[Chris]

The Burt Show.

[Mentor/Coach]

Hey, Chris. Two things. Listen to me.

[Host]

Come here.

[Mentor/Coach]

Don't take it so hard. Get over here. Get over here. Two things I want you to promise me. You gotta watch your temper, okay? You get a lot of emotion sometimes that gets into temper number two. Stay away from that damn tobacco.

[Chris]

Okay?

[Mentor/Coach]

You promise? Yes, sir. Okay. You got a lot of potential, man. You're gonna be a big success.

[Host]

Thank you.

[Mentor/Coach]

I have no doubt about it.

[Host]

Thank all that guy. That. That was Chris from the Apprentice last night. All of that guy's friends are dumping him today. He has turned into his friend's little bitch today. He turned in his man card for good. Totally. And if he has a girlfriend, I gotta believe she was watching that last night, looking at him going, oh my God. And I'm just sissy.

[Phil]

I'M imagining any company that would want to hire him. Like, I would be. I would never admit that I was on the Apprentice after that, you know.

[Host]

So my question here is, you know, because as guys, we. We have been told from when we're very, very young, men are tough. We do not cry. So we hold that in. And then I think as we get into our 20s, women want to see more emotion from us. In fact, there's a girl in the office here that her big gripe about her current boyfriend is, he doesn't show enough emotion. She's like a stone nothing.

[Chris]

Who's that?

[Host]

I'm not gonna say on the air. She would hate that.

[Chris]

Just spell it.

[Host]

So I'm asking you, women, like the time that a guy has shown you his emotions and he broke down and he. But the effect was totally the opposite, and you totally got turned off by it. Give us a call right now. 404-741-1005. And Jeff gave just about the greatest example ever.

[Chris]

A girl I know broke up with a guy because they'd gone out on several dates, and the first time that they made love, he burst into tears during the finale.

[Caller/Listener]

Oh, no.

[Host]

And she dumped him after that.

[Chris]

Yeah. I actually think she dumped him before he left her house.

[Host]

She's like, yeah, I can't handle that.

[Chris]

Yeah, I think it was just way too much.

[Host]

And his thing is, he probably put the fake tears on because he knows that's what a woman wants.

[Chris]

Not when you're. You know, and not when you just.

[Phil]

Meet and do that.

[Chris]

When you just.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

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[Phil]

Meet? Meet.

[Chris]

Oh, meat.

[Host]

M E E T meat.

[Chris]

I thought there was a. I thought. I thought she said M E E K E D. And I thought. There's a word I didn't know.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Phil]

Don't you know? Don't you know that?

[Chris]

Oh, look, he just meeked.

[Host]

Chrissy, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning, everybody.

[Host]

Good morning.

[Caller/Listener]

Ours was actually at the end of the movie Titanic. He cried for about 15 minutes, and we had to wait for everyone to leave the theater. I was so embarrassed.

[Host]

No, did you?

[Caller/Listener]

Because I have red hair. He connected me to the movie, and he was just totally devastated. It was so embarrassing.

[Host]

Are you kidding me?

[Phil]

It's not like we didn't know what would happen.

[Caller/Listener]

I don't know.

[Host]

Totally. We were engaged.

[Caller/Listener]

And needless to say, we did not get married.

[Host]

Is that right?

[Phil]

Are you kidding?

[Host]

Thank you.

[Caller/Listener]

Hysterical.

[Host]

Good morning, Matilda.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning.

How are you doing?

[Host]

There is a name you just don't hear a lot Anymore.

[Caller/Listener]

Isn't it beautiful?

[Host]

Matilda, how are you?

[Caller/Listener]

I'm wonderful. How are you doing today?

[Host]

Doing awesome, thank you.

[Phil]

When did this tear fest happen?

[Caller/Listener]

Okay, this tears factor actually happened when I was dating this guy and he used to cry all the time. But the hugest time that it was a turn off was after we saw the Lord of the Rings 3 and he just started bawling at the end. I'm talking about. It was so embarrassing. He just started crying and I just got totally turned off.

[Chris]

Who are some of the characters in that movie?

[Phil]

Frodo and yes.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, all those characters. He just. I don't know what was so emotional about the movie that he had to cry about it.

[Chris]

So something happened with Frodo and set him off somewhere.

[Host]

Something in his place.

[Chris]

Turn on the waterwork.

[Host]

Maybe he.

[Chris]

Maybe like the other guy. Maybe he compared his girlfriend to Frodo.

[Host]

Have you seen the. I think it's a Coke commercial where he and she are sitting in the theater and they're obviously watching some romantic movie. And he's pouring, he's drinking a Coke, and the ice gets in his eyes. It looks like he's starting to cry.

[Chris]

He reaches over to hold her to get her Coke, and he holds her.

[Host]

Hand and she's like, oh, this is the greatest. But that's not reality. Hey, Jessica, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, guys.

[Host]

Morning.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey. I'm starting to see a theme here. It's something about the movies. These guys are crazy. I'm telling you. Me and my husband and my stepson were at home one afternoon and I'm in the bathroom doing, you know, fix my hair or something like that. And he comes running in there, bust open the door, and like, starts washing his face. And I'm like, what are you doing? And he's like, I just got something in my eye. And I go out there and I'm like, what happened to your dad? He's like, I don't know. He just got up. Rocky just went off. He's in there crying over Rocky.

[Host]

I understand that.

[Caller/Listener]

And so I'm like, what? So I started Joaning him and just going on and on about it. And he got mad at me and we get in a huge argument because he didn't want his son to know that's what he was crying about. But he eventually ended up knowing because it turned into a big blowout that day over why he's crying over Rocky. It was ridiculous.

[Host]

I understand that. When Rocky's in the ring screaming for Adrian, I understand that.

[Caller/Listener]

Yes, that's exactly when it happened. Oh, yeah, he's crazy.

[Host]

Might have cried over that, too. Thank you.

[Caller/Listener]

All right, Bye.

Bye.

[Host]

Hey, Christina, you're on all the hits. Q100. Or not. Hold on, Christina.

[Caller/Listener]

It was a first date. This guy took me to the Fox to see the Nutcracker. We're sitting there, just getting to know each other.

[Chris]

No, no.

[Caller/Listener]

During the Nutcracker.

[Chris]

Not during the Nutcracker.

[Caller/Listener]

Yes, yes. Just getting to know each other. And he looks over to me, starts telling me about, you know, about being engaged just about a year and a half ago, and she broke the wedding off. And he starts crying like big alligator. Tears start streaming down his face.

[Host]

During the Nutcracker.

[Caller/Listener]

During the Nutcracker.

[Host]

About his ex girlfriend.

[Caller/Listener]

No, no, this is before it even started. His ex girlfriend. I must have had, like, a look of terror on my face because the older couple behind me leaned forward and the guy goes, get a grip, man.

[Phil]

It was your first date.

[Caller/Listener]

First date.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Phil]

That's been his, too. I had to break up.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Host]

I had a girl cry at me on first date, too. We were really drunk, and she was just going through, like, a whole bunch of crap in her life, and I guess the alcohol just hit her in the wrong way. First date, started balling on me. Did you ever go out with her again? I had sex with her. She was vulnerable, so I took advantage of that whole situation.

[Caller/Listener]

Right.

What every gentleman would do.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Caller/Listener]

High five.

High five.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Yeah.

[Host]

That is a double chick.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Host]

While she was crying. Hey, Nicole, you're in all the hits q100.

[Phil]

Hey, guys.

[Caller/Listener]

How are you?

[Host]

Good.

[Caller/Listener]

Well, my boyfriend couldn't get it up one time, so not only was that a turn off, and I was really just disgusted. Then he starts crying, like, next to me. I mean, that's just. That's just double time. Like, double turn off. Like, I just wanted to kick him out.

[Host]

He couldn't get it up. And he was. He was so upset about it, he.

[Caller/Listener]

Started crying about it. So emotional about it. And I'm sure it didn't help that I was like, ew, that's disgusting. Oh, I can't believe this is going on. Like, whatever. But then he just starts crying.

[Chris]

Should have been more. You should have been more sympathetic because maybe he had his period.

[Caller/Listener]

Probably. Probably. I don't know. But that was my story. And it was just. It's just such a turn off, you know? Should I just be crying about that kind of stuff?

[Host]

No. I don't know.

[Caller/Listener]

Oh, you're right.

[Hers Weight Loss Advertiser]

I'm sorry.

[Caller/Listener]

I didn't mean to.

[Host]

No, I don't know. And good morning, Melissa. You're on all the hits. Q100. Hi.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, my husband, he started crying after Rockstar. At the end of Rockstar.

[Host]

Okay, I think this is the way we gotta go on this right here. If you're a woman, tell us what movies your guys have cried over because that seems to be the reoccurring theme here. Alright, we got Rockstar. I can't even remember the end of that movie.

[Chris]

That's when he hands the microphone off the stage to the next guy and then he walked off the stage and.

[Host]

He started crying about that. All right, so what movies are your guys crying over? The Rocky one. I'm telling you, I can understand.

[Phil]

Yeah, we've already heard about Rocky, Lord of the Rings and Titanic that I don't get.

[Host]

Even the Rockstar one, there's gotta be Rudy.

[Chris]

Rudy. Every guy gives a tear in his eye at Rudy.

[Host]

Don't even call with Rudy. Jeff, what is the last movie that you cried over?

[Chris]

A movie? Ooh, what was that one with Mandy Morin that you and I saw together?

[Host]

I can't even remember the name of it.

[Chris]

It was a Nicholas sp.

[Caller/Listener]

You had to hold him and cradle.

[Phil]

Him and rock him.

[Host]

How could you forget? We didn't see that. That was the Notebook you're talking about. We didn't see the Notebook together.

[Phil]

See, that's what happens when you don't put the buffer seat between the two guys.

[Host]

Jeff will have a buffer section. Yeah, he won't even sit in the row in front of you.

[Chris]

I'm okay sitting next to you. Now that you got your hands all sewned or your arms all sewned. Cleaned. It was nasty before.

[Host]

Well, they're more feminine like now. I think you'd be a little bit more nervous.

[Chris]

No, it was dangerous. Last time you brush up against me and it looked like I ran through bushes for a week, like I was playing with a can.

[Host]

You're actually hairier than I am. Do you?

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

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[Host]

Look at you, got it on your back too. You're like a Chewbacca.

[Chris]

No, I've got this. And you know what had happened the day I turned 30? I got this little patch.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

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[Chris]

Wrap right there.

[Host]

We can take care of that. Sona hook you up. Dude, come on, we can take care.

[Phil]

Of it right now. Cause I got some duct tape in the office.

[Chris]

Going to Sona is admitting it exists. It's on my back. I can't see it.

[Phil]

Oh, that's right.

[Host]

It's not really, Phil, the last movie that you cried over? There's actually only been one movie I've ever cried at. And it was the scene in this movie where the main character's father dies and. And he's walking down a path, leaves are falling in the background. And on bagpipes, they're playing Amazing Grace. And that movie, Tommy Boy. Oh, you're kidding. The only movie I've ever teared up in. There is something about the bagpipes, though, man. When they start playing, man, you gotta, like, keep it together. I'm gonna keep it together.

[Chris]

And it's such a disgusting game of an instrument. You're crying at the bagpipes. It's almost like a. It's like a Philly fake out type word.

[Host]

You know what I mean?

[Chris]

Psychosexual. I gave her the bagpipes.

[Host]

I was playing softball the other day, and I took a bad hop, hit me right in the bagpipes.

[Chris]

Like, it's such a. Like that whole word that is just. It's a disgusting bag. Pipes, bagpipes.

[Host]

We're asking you guys.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

What is.

[Host]

What are the movies that your guys are crying over? We can never ask the guys to call up because they'd never admit it. Good morning, Dana. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning. The movie was Blow with Johnny Depp. And at the end, I think his dad comes to visit him in prison. Oh, I hope everyone's seen the movie. But anyway, I was tearing up and I didn't want him to know. And I looked over at him and he had tears streaming down his face, too. And I have something in my eye.

[Host]

Yeah. I think guys will only show their crying when they know that there are other guys around that are crying also. Like, if I get all, like, all emotional in a movie, like, I'll look around, make sure there's somebody else crying before I let the tears start happening. Yeah.

[Phil]

And I think any, you know, like, Phil's example and her example about something involving the father, you know, I think that's acceptable. Acceptable for a guy to cry. I think most guys cry at any scene like that.

[Chris]

You know what? It's not a movie. But I teared up at that. What's that thing that we always go to at Disney where they do the show the movies on the water?

[Host]

The what?

[Chris]

Turtle talk. No, where do they show the movies on the water?

[Phil]

Fantasmic.

[Chris]

Yeah. Like, I got a little teary to that.

[Host]

Why?

[Chris]

Because I just thought it was really cool.

[Host]

Just got filled up.

[Chris]

I was just really impressed.

[Host]

Hey, Molly.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Host]

Good morning.

[Caller/Listener]

Good morning.

[Host]

The movies that your men are crying over.

[Caller/Listener]

Eight seconds and the Notebook.

[Host]

Eight seconds. Wasn't that like the pairing? Yeah, way back.

[Caller/Listener]

The cowboy.

[Phil]

Yeah.

[Caller/Listener]

What scene when he dies and then it goes back and it shows him waving both of his hands.

[Host]

I didn't see that. So he's going down and he's dying and he. And he has. He musters up enough energy to wave to a crowd?

[Caller/Listener]

No, no, it flashes back to him. Like all his kind of successes.

[Phil]

Yeah, yeah. He was a young bull riding champion that got a horn right in the stomach.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah.

[Host]

If you're a guy, you're not allowed to cry over a Luke Perry movie.

[Phil]

But it was. But it's a sporting event. It's, you know, like, it's also in the sporting arena, you know.

[Host]

Good morning, Julie.

[Caller/Listener]

Hi.

[Host]

Hi.

[Caller/Listener]

When my stepdaughter comes to visit, we have family movie night and we rented Homeward Bound. And in the very last scene, when the. Or not the last scene, but when the older dog comes running up over the hill to the little boy and they think he's not going to make it, and he shows up, my husband cries, animals.

[Host]

A boy and his dog.

[Caller/Listener]

Animals.

[Host]

And sports animals. Good morning. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, good morning, bro. How you doing?

[Host]

Good, sir. How are you?

[Caller/Listener]

All right. Hey, I'm a guy, and I made a lot of the movie Big Fish that made me cry in tears.

[Phil]

This has to do with the dad?

[Caller/Listener]

Yep.

[Host]

It's a dad thing. It's a dad connection.

[Caller/Listener]

I guess that connection, it was really, really.

[Host]

I think you're right. That's a good movie. That's our Achilles heel right there. Good morning, Steven. You're on all the hits. Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey, guys. How's it going?

[Host]

Good.

[Caller/Listener]

The last movie I cried over was the last scene of Ladder 49 where they had a casket on the back of the fire truck and they're all.

[Host]

Walking down the back. You know, I didn't particularly like that movie, but the part where the captain has to come to the house and tell the wife that dude is gone, and she has to break it to the kids, I about lost it there.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, that, that, that just hit you. I don't care who you are. That's gonna tie knot your stomach no matter what.

[Host]

Yeah, that's another good one.

[Chris]

And most guys, you know, the dad is what rattles. You know, like telling the kid and all that rattles most guys. But when the dad dies. In many movies, you know, if you're watching With Bird, he's like, all right, good. That's finally out of the way.

[Host]

So that's a way to get him to get it done, huh?

[Chris]

Doesn't have to deal with him anymore.

[Host]

Morning. All the hits. Q100.

[Caller/Listener]

Hey.

[Host]

Hi.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, this is Yellow Boy. How you guys doing?

[Host]

Yellow Boy now. How does it. Guy?

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, man, I'm a guy. And I'm calling. I'm letting you guys know. It's nothing wrong with crying over a movie, man. What's up with that, man?

[Phil]

What movie did you cry over?

[Caller/Listener]

Man on Fire. Passions. Those were good movies to cry over.

[Host]

Vin Diesel.

[Caller/Listener]

Vin Diesel, man on Fire. That was Denzel Washington.

[Host]

Oh, oh, oh, oh. That was a good one.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, when Denzel rides off into, like, Sunset and he, like, dies for the little girl.

[Host]

No, you're right. That really was an emotional scene, man.

[Caller/Listener]

Yeah, everybody cries for metaphor nights.

Everybody, man.

I mean, men, female, kids, children. Everybody cries, man.

[Host]

Even hermaphrodites.

[Caller/Listener]

Inhumane to cry. I'm a guy and I'm 23 years old. I cry when I go to the movies.

[Host]

All right, if you guys walk away with one piece of life advice today, it's this. Even hermaphrodites cry.

[Chris]

So says Yellow Boy.

[Host]

Thank you, Yellow Boy.

[Chris]

Clearly. Clearly a former regular guys listener who.

[Host]

Has found us and future philosopher the Birch show.

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[Caller/Listener]

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