The Bert Show — Vault: When Was The Worst Moment Your Man Burst Into Tears?

Air Date: January 7, 2026
Podcast Host: The Bert Show/Cast
Episode Theme: Exploring awkward or unexpected moments when men cry, especially those that turned out to be turn-offs in relationships.

Episode Overview

The episode dives humorously and candidly into cultural expectations around masculinity and emotional expression, focusing particularly on stories of men breaking down in tears at “the wrong moment.” The hosts and listeners share funny, awkward, and revealing stories about times when men’s displays of vulnerability, especially crying, led to embarrassment, misunderstandings, or relationship issues. The tone is light, comedic, and unfiltered, blending personal anecdotes and audience calls to weigh how much emotion is “too much” for men, particularly from the perspective of women partners.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting Up the Topic: What’s the Threshold for Men Crying? (02:01)

• The hosts open with a discussion inspired by a reality show moment, questioning whether men crying can actually be a turn-off.
  • Host: “As guys, we have been told from when we're very, very young, men are tough, we do not cry... Then as we get into our 20s, women want to see more emotion from us.” (02:26)
  • They challenge listeners to share stories where a man’s emotional moment backfired.

2. Listener Stories: When Tears Became a Turn-Off

A. “Crying After Sex” (03:12)

• Chris: Shares a story of a man bursting into tears during their first intimate encounter, leading to a quick breakup.
  • Chris: “The first time that they made love, he burst into tears during the finale…she dumped him after that...I actually think she dumped him before he left her house.” (03:12–03:33)

B. “Tears at the Movies”

• Multiple listeners recount moments men cried at emotional movie scenes, often to the surprise or embarrassment of their partners.
• Titanic:
  • Chrissy: “He cried for about 15 minutes, and we had to wait for everyone to leave the theater. I was so embarrassed…Needless to say, we did not get married.” (04:02–04:28)
• Lord of the Rings:
  • Matilda: “The hugest time that it was a turn off was after we saw the Lord of the Rings 3 and he just started bawling at the end. So embarrassing. I just got totally turned off.” (04:55)
• Rocky:
  • Jessica: “Rocky just went off. He's in there crying over Rocky...He just got up. Rocky just went off. He's in there crying...” (05:54–06:43)

C. “First Date Meltdown” (07:02)

• Christina: Shares an awkward first date at the Nutcracker where her date starts sobbing about a broken engagement before the show even starts.
  • Christina: “He starts crying like big alligator. Tears start streaming down his face… the older couple behind me leaned forward and the guy goes, get a grip, man.” (07:13–07:44)

D. “Performance Issues and Tears” (08:20)

• Nicole: Recounts her boyfriend crying after being unable to perform sexually, feeling “double turned off.”
  • Nicole: “My boyfriend couldn't get it up one time...then he starts crying, like, next to me.” (08:20–08:39)

3. A Pattern Emerges: Men Crying at Movies (09:16 onward)

• The hosts notice that most stories center on men crying during movies.
  • Host: “If you're a woman, tell us what movies your guys have cried over, because that seems to be the reoccurring theme here.” (09:16)
• Notable movies include:
  • Rockstar (09:16)
  • Rudy: Universally acknowledged as an acceptable “man cry movie.” (09:49)
  • The Notebook, Eight Seconds (13:08)
  • Homeward Bound (13:55)
  • Big Fish “It's a dad thing. It’s a dad connection.” (14:31)
  • Ladder 49: The death of a fireman and notification of family hits hard. (14:44)
  • Man on Fire (15:39)
• The crew discusses how themes involving fathers, animals, or triumphant underdogs seem to “permit” men to cry.

4. Acceptable Tears: Fathers, Sports, and Animals

• Emotional Triggers: Themes involving father-son relationships, sports, and animals emerge as “socially acceptable” reasons for men to cry.
  • Chris: “It's a dad thing. It's a dad connection.” (14:31)
• On Homeward Bound:
  • Julie: “In the very last scene, when the older dog comes running up over the hill…my husband cries, animals.” (13:55)

5. Flipping the Narrative: Is It Ever OK for Men to Cry?

• Male Listeners Chime In: Some male callers defend showing emotion:
  • Caller 'Yellow Boy': “Nothing wrong with crying over a movie, man… I cry when I go to the movies.” (15:25–16:10)
  • Host: “If you walk away with one piece of life advice today, it’s this: Even hermaphrodites cry.” (16:15)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On gender expectations:

  • Host (Bert?): “We have been told from when we're very, very young, men are tough, we do not cry.” (02:26)

• On cringey emotional displays:

  • Chris: “He burst into tears during the finale…she dumped him after that.” (03:13)
  • Chrissy: “He cried for about 15 minutes, and we had to wait for everyone to leave the theater. I was so embarrassed.” (04:05)
  • Nicole: “He couldn't get it up and he was…so upset about it, he started crying about it. So emotional about it. … Double turn off.” (08:36)

• On movie triggers:

  • Caller (Dana): “The movie was Blow with Johnny Depp. …I looked over at him and he had tears streaming down his face, too.” (12:02)
  • Phil: “There's actually only been one movie I've ever cried at. … That movie, Tommy Boy.” (11:10)

• Light-hearted life advice:

  • Host: “Even hermaphrodites cry.” (16:15)
  • Chris: “So says Yellow Boy.” (16:22)

• On guy codes for crying:

  • “Guys will only show their crying when they know there are other guys around that are crying also.” (12:21)

Timestamps for Notable Segments

• [02:01] Opening the conversation about men crying and social expectations.
• [03:12] The iconic 'crying after sex' breakup story.
• [04:02] Listener story: crying at Titanic leads to embarrassment and breakup.
• [04:55] Crying at Lord of the Rings — “hugest turn off.”
• [05:54] Rocky tears spark a family argument.
• [07:02] Nutcracker first date meltdown.
• [08:20] Crying over performance issues.
• [09:16] Transition to “movies guys cry over” segment.
• [13:55] Listener: crying at Homeward Bound.
• [14:31] Father-son themes as emotional Achilles’ heel.
• [15:39] Male caller defends crying, mentions Man on Fire.
• [16:15] “Even hermaphrodites cry.”

Flow & Tone

• Lively, irreverent, and playful; flirtations with dark humor.
• Gender stereotypes are approached with irony and sarcasm.
• Authentic, unfiltered sharing from hosts and listeners alike.
• The show encourages vulnerability and pokes fun at both traditional masculinity and its contradictions.

Summary

This episode of The Bert Show offers a blend of comic relief and genuine social commentary on men and vulnerability, using listener call-ins and personal stories to break down social myths about masculinity. While women frequently say they want emotional men, these anecdotes reveal how cultural norms and personal preferences often create uncomfortable double standards about how—and when—men are “allowed” to cry. Emotional movie moments, especially those involving fathers, sports, or animals, seem to get a pass, while untimely or excessive emotional displays (especially in new relationships or intimate contexts) still spark awkwardness or even disdain. The episode concludes with a call for more compassion—and a reminder, courtesy of “Yellow Boy,” that absolutely everyone cries sometimes.