The Bert Show: "Vault: Who Broke Up With Someone Out Of Spite?"

Date: January 19, 2026
Host: Bert & The Bert Show Cast (Pionaire Podcasting)

Episode Overview

In this lively, revealing episode, the Bert Show explores the messy, emotional, and often hilarious terrain of breakups fueled by ego and spite. Bert and the cast invite listeners to call in with stories of going back to an ex—specifically, for the sole purpose of dumping them and regaining a lost sense of control. What emerges is a candid conversation about ego, revenge, relationship power dynamics, and the sometimes absurd lengths people will go to in order to "win" a breakup.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Intro: The "Breakup for Control" Phenomenon (00:00–02:42)

• Bert shares a story about a colleague stuck in a dysfunctional, on-again/off-again relationship. She feels compelled to go back, not out of love, but to have the final say in ending things.
• Bert: "She says, now that she kind of feels...well, she never said this. It was my sense that she would really like to see this guy again just so she can be the one to end it." (01:34)
• The hosts discuss the psychological pull of "winning" a breakup, shaping it as an ego-driven quest for control.
• Quote: "A breakup is about control. Let's be honest...all you want is back so you can regain some control." – Co-host (02:14)

Gender Dynamics in Breakups (02:42–03:39)

• The team debates whether this pattern of revenge-breaking-up is more common among women or men.
• Bert: "As a guy, I just want out... I don't care if my ego was bruised... I'd rather deal with the ego bruise." (02:42)
• Co-hosts suggest both genders experience the urge, but motivations and follow-through differ.

Listener Calls: Real Stories of Spiteful Breakups

Isabella’s Story – Revenge Backfires (03:49–05:12)

• Isabella calls in, confessing she reunited with her ex just to dump him—for the first time experiencing a breakup from the "other side."
  • Isabella: "I got back together with this guy because I was really pissed off that he dumped me... So I got back together with him just to dump him, and I ended up getting pregnant. And now we're having a baby." (03:57–04:13)
• The hosts react with shock and laughter, reflecting on the consequences of ego-driven decisions.
  • Bert: "The decision of ego is never the right decision. You will always get burned." (04:29)
• Isabella: “…Ended up getting locked up.” (05:24)
• Takeaway: Revenge can have lasting, unexpected consequences.

Jessica’s Story – Cheating for Closure (06:43–07:43)

• Jessica admits she took back a boyfriend who had cheated on her—partly out of love, partly to cheat on him for revenge. She then dumped him.
  • Jessica: "I was with a guy who cheated on me... I wanted to cheat on him back and I did. So I got back with him and then did the same thing to him." (06:54–07:13)
• Another host empathizes, admitting to similar actions.

Sarah’s Story – A Rejected Proposal (08:04–08:53)

• Sarah shares that after her boyfriend cheated on her, she took him back only to break up with him, but he responded to the breakup with a surprise proposal.
  • Sarah: "So I took him back for the specific purpose of breaking up with him. So broke up with him. And then he proposed and didn't have a return policy on the ring, and I, of course, said no." (08:14–08:33)
• The hosts marvel at the tangled emotional knots of post-infidelity relationships.

Lee’s Story – Remarriage as Revenge (09:14–10:32)

• In perhaps the wildest twist, Lee reveals she remarried her ex-husband primarily so she could divorce him herself—plus have a child with him.
  • Lee: "I actually remarried someone so that I could divorce them instead of them having the doctor say... I remarried the same guy and was pregnant within, you know, months. Had the baby and divorced his behind immediately." (09:17–10:16)
• She sums up: "So now I get child support, too." (10:28)
• Hosts are floored, emphasizing this level of plotting and drive.
  • Co-host: "To live your life with that kind of drive!" (10:23)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Ego and Breakups:
  • "The decision of ego is never the right decision. You will always get burned." – Bert (04:29)
  • "A breakup is about war. It’s about control." – Co-host (02:14)
• On Looks and Being Dumped:
  • "It shows that good-looking people know they’re good-looking because it's like, what? You breaking up with me?" – Co-host (06:22)
• On Justifying Infidelity:
  • "Sometimes, you can justify the infidelity if it's been done to you." – Bert (07:34)
• On Elaborate Revenge:
  • "I actually remarried someone so that I could divorce them..." – Lee (09:17)
  • "So now I get child support, too." – Lee (10:28)

Important Timestamps

• 00:00–02:42: Intro and story setting—ego, ultimatum, and the urge to control the breakup story.
• 03:49–05:12: Isabella’s call and the consequences of a revenge breakup.
• 06:43–07:43: Jessica and another co-host confess using infidelity for closure.
• 08:04–08:53: Sarah’s story of spiteful breakup and unexpected proposal.
• 09:14–10:32: Lee’s jaw-dropping double-marriage, revenge, and child support saga.
• 10:32–End: Hosts wrap up with humorous, incredulous reflection on all the drama.

Summary & Takeaways

This episode offers a candid, humorous, and occasionally jaw-dropping exploration into why people might go to extreme lengths to control the breakup narrative. Through relatable stories and listener confessions, the Bert Show uncovers the powerful role of ego, the lengths people will go to for closure or revenge, and the often unpredictable aftermath of such emotionally-driven decisions. Whether you’re looking for a laugh or a reminder of human foibles, this episode delivers memorable moments and food for thought about the tangled web of modern relationships.