Vault: Who Broke Up With Someone Out Of Spite?

Summary

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The Bert Show: "Vault: Who Broke Up With Someone Out Of Spite?"

Date: January 19, 2026
Host: Bert & The Bert Show Cast (Pionaire Podcasting)

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Episode Overview

In this lively, revealing episode, the Bert Show explores the messy, emotional, and often hilarious terrain of breakups fueled by ego and spite. Bert and the cast invite listeners to call in with stories of going back to an ex—specifically, for the sole purpose of dumping them and regaining a lost sense of control. What emerges is a candid conversation about ego, revenge, relationship power dynamics, and the sometimes absurd lengths people will go to in order to "win" a breakup.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Intro: The "Breakup for Control" Phenomenon (00:00–02:42)

• Bert shares a story about a colleague stuck in a dysfunctional, on-again/off-again relationship. She feels compelled to go back, not out of love, but to have the final say in ending things.
• Bert: "She says, now that she kind of feels...well, she never said this. It was my sense that she would really like to see this guy again just so she can be the one to end it." (01:34)
• The hosts discuss the psychological pull of "winning" a breakup, shaping it as an ego-driven quest for control.
• Quote: "A breakup is about control. Let's be honest...all you want is back so you can regain some control." – Co-host (02:14)

Gender Dynamics in Breakups (02:42–03:39)

• The team debates whether this pattern of revenge-breaking-up is more common among women or men.
• Bert: "As a guy, I just want out... I don't care if my ego was bruised... I'd rather deal with the ego bruise." (02:42)
• Co-hosts suggest both genders experience the urge, but motivations and follow-through differ.

Listener Calls: Real Stories of Spiteful Breakups

Isabella’s Story – Revenge Backfires (03:49–05:12)

• Isabella calls in, confessing she reunited with her ex just to dump him—for the first time experiencing a breakup from the "other side."
  • Isabella: "I got back together with this guy because I was really pissed off that he dumped me... So I got back together with him just to dump him, and I ended up getting pregnant. And now we're having a baby." (03:57–04:13)
• The hosts react with shock and laughter, reflecting on the consequences of ego-driven decisions.
  • Bert: "The decision of ego is never the right decision. You will always get burned." (04:29)
• Isabella: “…Ended up getting locked up.” (05:24)
• Takeaway: Revenge can have lasting, unexpected consequences.

Jessica’s Story – Cheating for Closure (06:43–07:43)

• Jessica admits she took back a boyfriend who had cheated on her—partly out of love, partly to cheat on him for revenge. She then dumped him.
  • Jessica: "I was with a guy who cheated on me... I wanted to cheat on him back and I did. So I got back with him and then did the same thing to him." (06:54–07:13)
• Another host empathizes, admitting to similar actions.

Sarah’s Story – A Rejected Proposal (08:04–08:53)

• Sarah shares that after her boyfriend cheated on her, she took him back only to break up with him, but he responded to the breakup with a surprise proposal.
  • Sarah: "So I took him back for the specific purpose of breaking up with him. So broke up with him. And then he proposed and didn't have a return policy on the ring, and I, of course, said no." (08:14–08:33)
• The hosts marvel at the tangled emotional knots of post-infidelity relationships.

Lee’s Story – Remarriage as Revenge (09:14–10:32)

• In perhaps the wildest twist, Lee reveals she remarried her ex-husband primarily so she could divorce him herself—plus have a child with him.
  • Lee: "I actually remarried someone so that I could divorce them instead of them having the doctor say... I remarried the same guy and was pregnant within, you know, months. Had the baby and divorced his behind immediately." (09:17–10:16)
• She sums up: "So now I get child support, too." (10:28)
• Hosts are floored, emphasizing this level of plotting and drive.
  • Co-host: "To live your life with that kind of drive!" (10:23)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Ego and Breakups:
  • "The decision of ego is never the right decision. You will always get burned." – Bert (04:29)
  • "A breakup is about war. It’s about control." – Co-host (02:14)
• On Looks and Being Dumped:
  • "It shows that good-looking people know they’re good-looking because it's like, what? You breaking up with me?" – Co-host (06:22)
• On Justifying Infidelity:
  • "Sometimes, you can justify the infidelity if it's been done to you." – Bert (07:34)
• On Elaborate Revenge:
  • "I actually remarried someone so that I could divorce them..." – Lee (09:17)
  • "So now I get child support, too." – Lee (10:28)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:00–02:42: Intro and story setting—ego, ultimatum, and the urge to control the breakup story.
• 03:49–05:12: Isabella’s call and the consequences of a revenge breakup.
• 06:43–07:43: Jessica and another co-host confess using infidelity for closure.
• 08:04–08:53: Sarah’s story of spiteful breakup and unexpected proposal.
• 09:14–10:32: Lee’s jaw-dropping double-marriage, revenge, and child support saga.
• 10:32–End: Hosts wrap up with humorous, incredulous reflection on all the drama.

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Summary & Takeaways

This episode offers a candid, humorous, and occasionally jaw-dropping exploration into why people might go to extreme lengths to control the breakup narrative. Through relatable stories and listener confessions, the Bert Show uncovers the powerful role of ego, the lengths people will go to for closure or revenge, and the often unpredictable aftermath of such emotionally-driven decisions. Whether you’re looking for a laugh or a reminder of human foibles, this episode delivers memorable moments and food for thought about the tangled web of modern relationships.

Transcript

[A]

The bird show. And okay, I've got one for you. And I can't specifically name who I'm talking about here, but there is a girl at the radio station, a woman at the radio station drives me crazy because she's in another one of these freakin relationships that is like an on again, off again relationship. And the guy that she's going out with isn't giving her what she wants yet. She's just having the toughest time breaking away from this guy, even though he's just. There's just too much baggage going on. Too much, too much, too much. And she's constantly complaining about the relationship even though she won't bail on the guy. Okay? So I think that she finally, finally gave him basically an ultimatum and said, look, if you can't commit to me, I'm on my way. That's it. Buh. Bye. So she does that and he says, okay, I can't give you what you want, I'll see you around. So she takes off. She's like, fine, fine, then fine. And then they go through that whole well, I'll see you tonight kind of thing. Call you every now and then where it's not really officially like over over. But she's done the smart thing and she started like going out with another guy or a couple other guys or whatever, right? But she's still hooked on dysfunctional guy number one. So I was talking to her about it yesterday and she said, you know what I think it is? I don't think that I have ever gotten out of a relationship on my own term. I mean that I've always gotten out of the relationship on my own terms. It's never been the guy that said, you know what? Yeah, this thing's over for me.

[B]

She's always broken up with them.

[A]

She's always broken up with her. Yeah.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

She says now that she kind of feels. Well, she never said this. It was my sense that she would really like to see this guy again just so she can be the one to end it. Cause I said, do you really, really dig this guy? She's like, no, that's the thing. I really don't dig them all that much. But it's just, just the way it ended. So I'm wondering if there are any Bert show listeners that are brave enough. Brave enough to call us up. We'll use a voice disguiser if we have to, to say, you know what, he broke up with me, or she broke up with me and I didn't even like him that much. But I Got back together just so I could be the one to have the final say in the whole thing.

[B]

I bet there are so many who do that, because as I. It's all about control. A breakup is about control. Let's be honest, because that is you. Whoever got broken up with, your ego got crushed. Okay? And all you're thinking about is you're not reminiscing on the great times and blah, blah, blah. All you want is back so you can regain some control. And I guarantee. And of course, the way to get the upper hand is to get the control back and then break up with them. Absolutely. I mean, there's. The breakup is about war. It's about control.

[A]

See, I have never done this because I always felt like, even if the relationship wasn't good, like, I'd gladly be the martyr. I think this is a woman thing more than it is a guy thing. Like, as a guy, I just want out. I don't want to talk about it for a long period of time. I just want the relationship to be over. So if you're the one that will break up with me, I'm totally okay with that. That's it for me. Over.

[B]

Did you tell your guys that you broke up with them, though?

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Yeah, of course.

[C]

You got to flip it around.

[A]

Yeah, of course.

[C]

I have a guy friend who I.

[A]

Know did this, who went back with her.

[C]

Huh. And this is years later. I mean, he had been burned, burned, burned, burned, burned. And for a long time didn't admit how hurt he was. But this is years. Years pass, he admits how hurt he was, whatever, gets back together with the woman for a very short time, and then sure enough, turns around and crushes her.

[A]

And he had it, like, planned out.

[C]

I don't think that he'll ever admit that's what he did, but I think that's what he did.

[A]

404-741-1005. You specifically got back with somebody with the intention of being the one that had to be the breakuper. Good morning, Isabella.

[D]

Hey.

[E]

How's it going?

[A]

Good. How are you?

[E]

I'm good.

[A]

At this point, you're the only one to get through that, is brave enough to say, you know what? I have done this.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

I got back together with this guy because I was really pissed off that he dumped me. I mean, I'd never been in a relationship and somebody dumped me. I was like, why, are you crazy? What do you mean? I'm not good enough? So I got back together with him just to dump him, and I ended up getting Pregnant. And now we're having a baby.

[C]

Oh, you are kidding me.

[E]

I am so feeling.

[C]

Oh my God. You are pregnant now with your dumpies baby.

[E]

Yes.

[C]

No way. Did you dump him?

[E]

Well, yeah, but you know, there's still no hope of relationship. So now I am like.

[A]

You know, somebody once told me something that I have always remembered that the decision of ego is never the right decision. You will always get burned. And if you make a decision out of ego, and here you do, you do that. You go back to this guy even though you're not digging him so much. And now you're having a baby by the dumpy.

[E]

Pretty much.

[B]

Well, and I think it's fascinating how just the reaction of people like you said it and the, the person here at the station said it where you know, they've never been broken up before. They don't how to handle it.

[C]

What?

[B]

You broke it up with me.

[A]

I wonder if this is like, is this a good looking woman?

[E]

I couldn't handle it. I couldn't understand. I'm like, what do you. What do you mean? I'm for a girlfriend. I thought this relationship was going great. What do you mean you're dumping me? You can't dump me, right?

[B]

Yeah, I think it's dumping me.

[A]

I'm just curious, Isabella, the timing of this. So you get back together with dude and then how long do you stay in the relationship before you break up with him just so you feel justified?

[D]

I don't know.

[E]

It all depends. We have been together for like three weeks and I ended up getting locked up.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. Thank you. Thank you very much. No problem. Thank you.

[B]

Well, yeah, if you, if you're going back for revenge breakup, use protection.

[A]

He's got the last laugh.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, yeah.

[A]

Jen, can you reach over there and hit the voice disguiser for this one?

[B]

Do you think it's a good person? I mean you, we breeze over the question but we'll ask about. You think it's a good, good looking thing?

[A]

I think it's a good looking woman thing. Like how dare you.

[C]

Well, guys too.

[A]

I've never known a guy to do this like. Because I think once guys are out of the relationship, if they want it out, they don't want to look back. I don't care if my ego was bruised. At least in my case. I'd rather deal with the ego bruise than deal with the seven freaking hour long conversation of why it didn't work out.

[C]

No, I think it's your unique. Yeah, I think it's just a good looking dude or woman thing. Because I think it's just your ego's bruised.

[A]

The decision of ego is never the good one.

[B]

And it shows that good looking people know they're good looking because it's like, what? You breaking up with me?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, me, I'm not good. I'm not good at. Look at me.

[C]

Look at me.

[A]

How dare you?

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Cause the words look at me come out of somebody's mouth during that.

[C]

Especially if you're dating down or you think you're dating down and then the person below you breaks up with you.

[A]

We're gonna call you Jessica. You are on all the hits. Q100. Hi.

[D]

Hey. I just want you guys to know, first off my disclaimer, I was young and dumb and an idiot. Okay.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

All right. I was with a guy who cheated on me, and I stayed with him and gave him, quote, unquote, another shot for two reasons. One, I was still in love with him. And two, I wanted to cheat on him back and I did. So I got back with him and then did the same thing to him.

[A]

And then you broke up with him.

[D]

And then I broke up with him. Yeah.

[A]

See, this is.

[C]

Yeah, I. I have actually, sadly, admittedly done that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But it was much more of a long, drawn out process. But there was a guy I dated who cheated on me and I went back together with him, which, like an idiot, because I was like, you still cared about him or whatever, but then continued to cheat on him throughout the rest of the relationship and then dumped him.

[A]

Yeah. That gives a woman a green light. As guys, we gotta know that. Or it goes the other way around, too. I think sometimes, like, you can justify the infidelity if it's been done to you. Yeah.

[C]

It doesn't make it right. It makes it an even worse relationship or whatever. But if you've been cheated on, you feel like you have a right to do it to them, too.

[A]

I mean, think about it. Like, Denise Richards can pretty much do anything she wants with any guy right now on Charlie Sheen and get away with it.

[C]

By the way, headlines out today that they might renew their valves.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

Well, well, there you go.

[C]

Side note.

[B]

There you go.

[C]

Sidebar.

[A]

Still need the voices. Guys are on. Good morning, Sarah. You're on all the hits. Q100. Hi.

[D]

Good morning.

[A]

Hi. Hello.

[D]

Hi.

[B]

What'd you do?

[D]

Well, my boyfriend of two years cheated on me, and after that, decided he wanted to get back together, so I took him back for the specific purpose of breaking up with him. So broke up with him. And then he proposed and didn't have a return policy on the ring, and I, of course, said no.

[C]

Oh, ouch.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You guys are so conniving.

[C]

So he's got a nice rock he's walking around with, huh?

[D]

Yeah, I think he took it back and exchanged it for some Christmas jewelry or something.

[A]

But this all stems from him cheating, though.

[D]

Oh, of course.

[A]

If he doesn't cheat, then none of this happens. Right?

[D]

Right.

[A]

Okay. Thank you.

[B]

I don't have the patience for it. Like, I'm thinking about. I don't know if I've ever go back with somebody just to get. Seek revenge when I'm sure I've had the motivation before, but I don't know if I think I'd get there and think, I can't do this. You know, I couldn't draw it out and stay with them long enough to do it.

[A]

Yeah. I just want it to be over so I can move on and get screwed over by the next year.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Good morning, Lee. You're on the Burt Show. Hi.

[D]

Hi.

[E]

I was calling to tell you that I actually remarried someone so that I could divorce them instead of them having the doctor say they.

[A]

No, you did not.

[D]

Yes, I did.

[E]

And I got my child out of it, too. Maybe I always wanted that. I couldn't have.

[A]

So how long were you married?

[E]

How long was I married? The first time?

[A]

Yes.

[E]

Oh, gosh, like seven or eight years.

[A]

And you guys get divorced because he's screwing around or just the relationship deteriorated?

[E]

No, he was convinced that I was screwing around, which was totally not true. And he would not father a child for me. Nothing. And divorced me, like, within moments. The moment he accused me of it was the moment he divorced me. And so I, you know, said this. This is not how this is going down.

[C]

So you remarried the same guy?

[E]

I remarried the same guy and was pregnant within, you know, months. Had the baby and divorced his behind immediately.

[A]

Unreal.

[C]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

A guy could never, ever do this.

[C]

To live your life with that kind of drive.

[A]

Say that again, Lee.

[E]

I said so. Now I get child support, too.

[A]

Thank you, Lee. The perfect ending.

[B]

And there nothing happened. All that drama and nothing happened.

[A]

And nothing happened except she got a kid out of the whole thing. The bird showed.