Vault: Who Had To Bail Their Grandparents Out Of Jail?

Summary

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The Bert Show

Episode: Vault: Who Had To Bail Their Grandparents Out Of Jail?
Date: November 18, 2025
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & The Bert Show Cast

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Episode Overview

In this lively and humorous episode, The Bert Show crew dives into the quirky and often misunderstood topic of grandparents breaking the law. Sparked by recent headlines surrounding Willie Nelson’s tour bus bust, the conversation veers into the bizarre and hilarious stories of elderly crime—especially grandparents who find themselves running afoul of the law and end up needing their grandkids to bail them out. Listeners are invited to share real-life stories, and the hosts deliver the laughs, empathy, and moral debates that hallmark the show.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Willie Nelson and Senior Crime

• The episode kicks off referencing Willie Nelson, recently pulled over at age 73 and found with marijuana and mushrooms on his tour bus (01:18).
• Rather than face felony charges, citations were distributed among everyone onboard, sidestepping major legal trouble.
• Debate: Should seniors face the same repercussions as younger offenders?
  • A: "There should be a certain age where you get to where you should be able to do whatever you want." (04:40)
  • B: "When you’re 75, just do what you want." (04:58)

2. Grandparent Crime: From Fantasy to Reality

• Transitioning from celebrity to everyday life, the team asks, “Have you ever had to bail your grandparents out of jail?” inviting listener calls (02:21).
• The phone lines “light up,” revealing the topic’s relatability and humor.

3. The Yarn Bandit: Audrey Yandel’s Saga

• Audrey Yandel, a 70-year-old grandmother and compulsive yarn thief from DeKalb County, is introduced; she’s been convicted 12 times over 20 years, mainly for stealing yarn and knitting needles (03:03).
  • E: "She just wants to knit…she wants to go to his stitch and bitch party." (03:38, 03:39)
• Judge sentences her to a year in jail, six months probation, and bans her from any store selling yarn (04:07, 04:18).
  • B: "No, no, she can't go to jail." (04:15)
• The hosts debate the fairness and effectiveness of imprisoning elderly repeat offenders for petty crimes:
  • A: "If it happened once, I’m right there with you. But every other year for the past [20 years]…the judge has said…you‘ve got a problem, lady." (05:13, 05:29)

4. Listener Stories and Memorable Moments

• Listeners chime in with their own “granny got arrested” stories, though some calls are cut short (05:58).
  • A: "That was Lynn, who had to bail her grandpa out of jail for buying drugs, but her phone went out." (05:58)
• A caller named Steve and another unnamed female listener add comic detail about Yandel’s hoarding:
  • H: "I remember them panning her room when they busted her on the news. I mean, it was piled, piled high. And some of that yarn was worth hundreds and thousands of dollars." (06:18–06:41)
  • E (joking): "So what is she doing, like, smuggling it out under her panties, like two rolls at a time?" (06:24)

5. Morals, Ridicule, and Imagining “Granny Behind Bars”

• Spirited exchanges about the legitimacy of incarcerating elders for “petty” repeat offenses:
  • B: "But I mean, Granny behind bars. What are you in for, Granny?" (06:59)
  • The team jokes about prison life for elderly women, imagining knitting shanks, trading for Metamucil, and escaping behind a poster of Regis Philbin (07:20–07:42).
• The topic prompts a comedic riff:
  • F: "I am wondering about Granny’s girlfriend in…the big house…is she going to be able to, you know…have a shank?" (07:20–07:36)
  • E: "Can you carve this knife out of soap for me? My eyes, my knuckles are all swollen." (07:54)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Age and Crime:
  A: "There should be a certain age where you get to where you should be able to do whatever you want." (04:40)
  B: "When you’re 75, just do what you want. Steal a plane." (05:07)

• On Yarn Theft:
  E: "She just wants to knit…she wants to go to his stitch and bitch party." (03:38–03:39)
  H: "And some of that yarn was worth hundreds and thousands of dollars." (06:41)
  E: "So what is she doing, like, smuggling it out under her panties, like two rolls at a time?" (06:24)

• On Prison Life for Grannies:
  F: "I am wondering about Granny’s girlfriend in…the big house…is she going to be able to, you know…have a shank?" (07:20–07:36)
  A: "She’s going to have a big old poster of Regis Philbin in her jail cell and slowly she’ll be chipping away at it." (07:36)
  E: "Can you carve this knife out of soap for me? My eyes, my knuckles are all swollen." (07:54)

• On the Absurdity of the Situation:
  B: "But why is [it] fines and everything else? But I mean, Granny behind bars. What are you in for, Granny?" (06:59)

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Important Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:18 | Willie Nelson's tour bus incident and celebrity elders & crime | | 02:21 | Invitation to listeners: Have you ever bailed out your grandparent? | | 03:03 | Story of Audrey Yandel, the compulsive yarn thief grandma | | 04:40 | Debate: Should age affect legal consequences? | | 05:55 | Fantasizing about a grandchild bailing grandma out | | 06:13 | Caller elaborates on the extent of grandma's yarn hoarding | | 07:20 | Extended riff: Imagining grandma in jail |

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Tone & Style

Lively, irreverent, and playful—the group blends heartfelt stories with sharp humor and debate. There's warmth and empathy for elderly offenders, but plenty of delight in the absurdity of their exploits.

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In summary:
This episode of The Bert Show is an entertaining exploration of what happens when grandparents break bad, blending real criminal cases with wild speculation, listener stories, and the show’s trademark wit. Whether debating whether grannies should be immune from jail time, or imagining a prison yard ruled by knitters, the cast delivers laughs and lighthearted cultural commentary around a topic few have ever considered.

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Transcript

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[A]

Get it the Birch show so thought about yesterday when we were talking or last week when we were talking about Willie Nelson. He found himself in the news last week in the Entertainment buzz. He's 70. He's 73 years old.

[B]

73. They pulled over his tour bus and the cop smelled some marijuana. So they searched the bus and he and five of the touring crew on board were all given a misdemeanor, but nobody was charged with it because I guess they found mushrooms and marijuana and had it been charged on one person, it would have been possession, like with the intent to sell it. But because they divvied it up between all of them, it was just a citation. And I said move, move on right along. Willie.

[A]

Last week when the story came out, we asked you guys, Willie, if there's anybody listening that knows that your parents, right, or your grandparents smoke, that kind of thing.

[B]

Grandparents.

[A]

Grandparents.

[B]

73.

[A]

This guy's 73. He is a grandparent.

[C]

Right.

[A]

We asked you guys call us now if you know your grandparents do that kind of thing. Phone lines were lit up.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Lit up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Could have done it for an hour. My fantasy is that let's just pretend here, just for a second that Willie gets busted, 73 years old, goes to jail and calls his kids and his kids are not available. Right. So he has to call the second line of defense and that is the grandparents to come bail him out of jail. And that's where we're going with this because there's another grandkids, rather the grandkids to come bail him out of jail because that's where we're going with this. If you ever had to bail out your grandparents from jail, give us a call right now. 404741 1005. Not even necessarily based on Willie Nelson's story last week, we can stick around here locally to yesterday.

[E]

Yeah. If you are headed to the DeKalb county area today, if you're there now, you may want to move your wallet to your front pocket, hold your purse in front of you, lock your possessions in your car. Because out on the streets of DeKalb county, although not for much longer. Audrey Yandel, a 70 year old grandmother and retired nurse, she has been convicted a dozen times in the past 20 years, mainly for stealing yarn. According to the chief assistant district attorney in DeKalb County.

[B]

She just wants to knit.

[F]

She wants to go to his stitch and bitch party.

[E]

She was caught stealing yarn at a Decatur shop in January 05 and then a few months, about a year later, knitting needles from a Dunwoody business in May 2006.

[B]

Felon.

[A]

She's got a problem now. It's a problem. Yeah.

[E]

Claims to be seeking psychiatric help for her compulsive behavior disorder, but nonetheless, the judge saw fit to sentence her to one year in jail.

[B]

Oh, no.

[E]

Six months probation. And she is now forbidden from entering any store that sells yarn.

[B]

No, no, she can't go to jail.

[E]

She's going to jail.

[B]

She is?

[D]

Yes. She's.

[F]

What is a 70 something year old woman not being able to go to Hancocks gonn.

[E]

12 times in 20 years? She is a repeat offender. Get her out of Michael.

[B]

She is just bored, okay?

[A]

There's other things to do.

[B]

One life to live is not providing her with enough entertainment in her life. She's just got to see if she could get away with it.

[A]

I do agree with you. Like there's, there's, there should be a certain age where you get to where you should be able to do whatever you want.

[F]

Is she really a threat to the city of Atlanta?

[E]

12 times in the past 20 years.

[B]

Yeah, but seriously, some knitting needles from Michael.

[A]

I know some are going to say the law is the law. I really do believe, like, when you're 75, just do what you want.

[B]

Enough as taxpayers to feed and provide for the people in jail. Do we actually have to provide for Granny now?

[E]

If it happens old people don't eat much, number one. Number two, if it happened once, I'm right there with you. But every other year for the past.

[B]

20 years, she's been arrested in her 50s.

[F]

Then she should his house.

[E]

She was arrested in her 50s and her 60s. And finally the judge has said, all right, 12 convictions in the past two decades. You've got a problem, lady. You're going to jail. And stay out of the yarn shop.

[A]

So somebody we're fantasizing it's her grandkid had to go to jail and bail grandma out of jail. So one of those 12 times the grandkids for sure.

[G]

Right?

[A]

If you've ever had to bail your grandpa or your grandmom.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Out of jail 404, 741. That was Lynn, who had to bail her grandpa out of jail for buying drugs.

[E]

Oh, come on.

[A]

But her phone went out. Morning. Q100.

[G]

Steve.

[A]

Yes.

[H]

You know that grandma that got busted for stealing the yarn?

[A]

Yes, yes.

[H]

That yarn totaled in the thousands of dollars. If I remember that right.

[A]

I still think it's okay.

[E]

So what is she doing, like, smuggling it out under her pantis, like two rolls at a time?

[H]

I remember them panning her room when they busted her on the news. And I mean, it was piled, piled high. And some of that yarn was worth hundreds and thousands of dollars.

[D]

Seriously.

[H]

Seriously.

[E]

Whatever that is. Okay, like, I'm gonna steal yarn. Go for the top end stuff.

[B]

Like I get all of the different things you were reading off that she was charged for. Except the going to jail part. It's like, okay, ban granny from this yarn shop.

[A]

What he's saying if it's a hundred thousand dollars worth of yarn.

[B]

But why is fines and everything else. But I mean, Granny behind bars. What are you in for, Granny?

[A]

I mean, come on. I think they should be able to rob banks. I think they should be able to do anything they want after 75 years. I think anything you want. Steal a plane.

[E]

I think Melissa tried to loan us that DVD once. Granny behind bars, didn't you?

[B]

Oh, dude.

[F]

But I am wondering about Granny's girlfriend in you know, in the house. Yeah, in the big house. And if she's going to be able to, you know, what is it, what is it called? A shank.

[A]

She can.

[F]

If she's going to be able to shave off something and have a shank underneath her mattress, you think she'll put it.

[A]

She's going to have a big up like a big old poster of Regis Philbin in her jail cell and slowly she'll be chipping away at it.

[E]

I'm gonna have to take the bottom bunk on account of my bad knees. I can't get up on the top bunk on account of my.

[B]

Oh, how's she gonna get her Metamucil in there?

[E]

Can you, can you carve this knife out of soap for me? My eyes has my knuckles all swollen.

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