The Bert Show
Episode: Vault: Who Had To Bail Their Grandparents Out Of Jail?
Date: November 18, 2025
Hosts: Bert, Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & The Bert Show Cast
Episode Overview
In this lively and humorous episode, The Bert Show crew dives into the quirky and often misunderstood topic of grandparents breaking the law. Sparked by recent headlines surrounding Willie Nelson’s tour bus bust, the conversation veers into the bizarre and hilarious stories of elderly crime—especially grandparents who find themselves running afoul of the law and end up needing their grandkids to bail them out. Listeners are invited to share real-life stories, and the hosts deliver the laughs, empathy, and moral debates that hallmark the show.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Willie Nelson and Senior Crime
- The episode kicks off referencing Willie Nelson, recently pulled over at age 73 and found with marijuana and mushrooms on his tour bus (01:18).
- Rather than face felony charges, citations were distributed among everyone onboard, sidestepping major legal trouble.
- Debate: Should seniors face the same repercussions as younger offenders?
2. Grandparent Crime: From Fantasy to Reality
- Transitioning from celebrity to everyday life, the team asks, “Have you ever had to bail your grandparents out of jail?” inviting listener calls (02:21).
- The phone lines “light up,” revealing the topic’s relatability and humor.
3. The Yarn Bandit: Audrey Yandel’s Saga
- Audrey Yandel, a 70-year-old grandmother and compulsive yarn thief from DeKalb County, is introduced; she’s been convicted 12 times over 20 years, mainly for stealing yarn and knitting needles (03:03).
- Judge sentences her to a year in jail, six months probation, and bans her from any store selling yarn (04:07, 04:18).
- B: "No, no, she can't go to jail." (04:15)
- The hosts debate the fairness and effectiveness of imprisoning elderly repeat offenders for petty crimes:
4. Listener Stories and Memorable Moments
- Listeners chime in with their own “granny got arrested” stories, though some calls are cut short (05:58).
- A: "That was Lynn, who had to bail her grandpa out of jail for buying drugs, but her phone went out." (05:58)
- A caller named Steve and another unnamed female listener add comic detail about Yandel’s hoarding:
- H: "I remember them panning her room when they busted her on the news. I mean, it was piled, piled high. And some of that yarn was worth hundreds and thousands of dollars." (06:18–06:41)
- E (joking): "So what is she doing, like, smuggling it out under her panties, like two rolls at a time?" (06:24)
5. Morals, Ridicule, and Imagining “Granny Behind Bars”
- Spirited exchanges about the legitimacy of incarcerating elders for “petty” repeat offenses:
- B: "But I mean, Granny behind bars. What are you in for, Granny?" (06:59)
- The team jokes about prison life for elderly women, imagining knitting shanks, trading for Metamucil, and escaping behind a poster of Regis Philbin (07:20–07:42).
- The topic prompts a comedic riff:
- F: "I am wondering about Granny’s girlfriend in…the big house…is she going to be able to, you know…have a shank?" (07:20–07:36)
- E: "Can you carve this knife out of soap for me? My eyes, my knuckles are all swollen." (07:54)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)
-
On Age and Crime:
A: "There should be a certain age where you get to where you should be able to do whatever you want." (04:40)
B: "When you’re 75, just do what you want. Steal a plane." (05:07) -
On Yarn Theft:
E: "She just wants to knit…she wants to go to his stitch and bitch party." (03:38–03:39)
H: "And some of that yarn was worth hundreds and thousands of dollars." (06:41)
E: "So what is she doing, like, smuggling it out under her panties, like two rolls at a time?" (06:24) -
On Prison Life for Grannies:
F: "I am wondering about Granny’s girlfriend in…the big house…is she going to be able to, you know…have a shank?" (07:20–07:36)
A: "She’s going to have a big old poster of Regis Philbin in her jail cell and slowly she’ll be chipping away at it." (07:36)
E: "Can you carve this knife out of soap for me? My eyes, my knuckles are all swollen." (07:54) -
On the Absurdity of the Situation:
B: "But why is [it] fines and everything else? But I mean, Granny behind bars. What are you in for, Granny?" (06:59)
Important Segment Timestamps
| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|-------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:18 | Willie Nelson's tour bus incident and celebrity elders & crime | | 02:21 | Invitation to listeners: Have you ever bailed out your grandparent? | | 03:03 | Story of Audrey Yandel, the compulsive yarn thief grandma | | 04:40 | Debate: Should age affect legal consequences? | | 05:55 | Fantasizing about a grandchild bailing grandma out | | 06:13 | Caller elaborates on the extent of grandma's yarn hoarding | | 07:20 | Extended riff: Imagining grandma in jail |
Tone & Style
Lively, irreverent, and playful—the group blends heartfelt stories with sharp humor and debate. There's warmth and empathy for elderly offenders, but plenty of delight in the absurdity of their exploits.
In summary:
This episode of The Bert Show is an entertaining exploration of what happens when grandparents break bad, blending real criminal cases with wild speculation, listener stories, and the show’s trademark wit. Whether debating whether grannies should be immune from jail time, or imagining a prison yard ruled by knitters, the cast delivers laughs and lighthearted cultural commentary around a topic few have ever considered.