The Bert Show – Vault: Who Has Beef With A Celebrity?

Episode Date: January 16, 2026
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Main Cast: Bert, Co-hosts, Callers

Episode Overview

This lively episode of The Bert Show centers on a playful vent session: which celebrities, TV shows, or pop culture phenomena do people just not get? Host Bert and his co-hosts invite listeners to call in and air their “celebrity beefs”—those icons or entertainment hits everyone else seems to love, but bafflingly don’t resonate with them. The segment sparks honest, humorous conversation among the cast and a parade of spirited listener takes.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bert’s Celebrity “Blind Spots”

• Paris Hilton (00:00–01:36):
  Bert confesses he doesn't get Paris Hilton's appeal, even referencing recent news of her raising $200,000 at a Miami fundraiser by auctioning off a night of partying with her:

  • “I look at her and I just see trashy, non-celebrity.” – Bert (01:26)
  • Co-hosts debate her status as a fashion leader and TV personality.

• Napoleon Dynamite (01:29–01:49, 02:28–02:49):
  Bert shares frustration with the cult comedy's popularity:

  • “I have tried and tried and tried to be cool enough to laugh at Napoleon Dynamite... I still think it's the worst movie ever.” – Bert (01:38)
  • Co-hosts and friends quote the film and mock Bert, yet he remains unconvinced.

2. Co-host & Listener Call-ins: Unpopular Opinions

• Ashton Kutcher (03:11–03:32):
  Caller Ray and co-hosts express confusion about Kutcher’s popularity:

  • “I don't think he's funny. I don't think he's stylish. I don't think he's cute. I don't get it.” – Co-host 2 (03:27)

• Dr. Phil (03:32–03:45):
  Co-host 1 can’t grasp Dr. Phil’s following, especially when he wrote a weight loss book while overweight.

• Shakira (03:51–04:29):
  Caller 1 can’t understand her singing or appeal:

  • “What are we all just worshiping Shakira for?” – Caller 1 (04:18)
  • Co-hosts counter with her global celebrity status and unique dance moves.

• Tara Reid (05:05–05:20):
  Callers and cast are mystified by her fame, largely referencing “American Pie” and “Van Wilder.”

  • Bert quips: “She put the hoe in Hollywood. She's a drunk.” (05:06)

• Will Ferrell (05:32–05:57):
  Caller Lisa can’t stand him, especially after “Wedding Crashers.”

  • “As soon as he comes on screen, I start laughing.” – Bert (05:49)
  • Lisa’s response: “I'm nauseated.” (05:51)

• Jessica Simpson (06:13–06:32):
  Caller Michelle: “She cannot sing... I don't see what people see in her.” (06:21)

  • Bert agrees but admits she “looks hot now” (06:32).

• Hilary Duff (06:43–07:07):

  • “She cannot act. And she tries to be so innocent. She needs to go on Passions.” – Caller (06:50)
  • Co-hosts concede her appeal for Lizzie McGuire fans, quip about her changed teeth.

3. Recurring Themes and Memorable Moments

• Pop culture FOMO:
  Bert’s frustration at not “getting” some mass faves:

  • “It just sucks when you're around all these people that just absolutely adore these icons and you're like, I just don't get it.” – Bert (06:58)

• Age and relatability:

  • Co-hosts joke about older people quoting “teenage” movies like Napoleon Dynamite:
    “When a 30 year old is doing it, I'm thinking, come on now.” – Co-host 1 (02:53)

• Global vs. local celebrity status:

  • “I find it fascinating that here in the United States we don't have the same hit music that they do over the rest of the world. Like Shakira is big around the world. Except here.” – Co-host 1 (04:29)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

| Time | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:26 | Bert | “I look at her and I just see trashy, non celebrity.” | | 01:38 | Bert | “I have tried and tried and tried to be cool enough to laugh at Napoleon Dynamite...” | | 03:27 | Co-host 2 | “I don't think he's funny. I don't think he's stylish. I don't think he's cute. I don't get it.” | | 04:18 | Caller 1 | “What are we all just worshiping Shakira for?” | | 05:06 | Bert | “She put the hoe in Hollywood. She's a drunk.” | | 05:49 | Bert | “As soon as he comes on screen, I start laughing.” | | 05:51 | Caller Lisa| “I'm nauseated.” | | 06:21 | Caller Michelle | “She cannot sing... I don't see what people see in her.” | | 06:58 | Bert | “It just sucks when you're around all these people that just absolutely adore these icons and you're like, I just don't get it.” |

Show Structure & Major Segments

• [00:00–02:28] Bert's confessions about not understanding the hype behind Paris Hilton and Napoleon Dynamite. Co-hosts discuss and debate.
• [03:07–07:44] Phones open up: listeners and cast rapidly share their celebrity “beefs,” ranging from Ashton Kutcher and Dr. Phil to Shakira, Tara Reid, Will Ferrell, Jessica Simpson, and Hilary Duff.
• [07:15–07:44] Comparisons of generational or personal taste—callers and hosts bonding over shared bafflement at pop icons.

Tone and Energy

The episode maintains a lighthearted, confessional, and often self-deprecating tone. The hosts and callers are open about their unpopular opinions but keep the mood fun—even when being blunt (“She put the hoe in Hollywood. She's a drunk.”). There’s a palpable bond between the team and callers, as they share the feeling of being “on the outside” of certain pop culture crazes.

Summary

If you’ve ever felt mystified by an ultra-popular celebrity or film, this episode of The Bert Show is right up your alley. Bert, the co-hosts, and a stream of callers admit which pop icons just never clicked for them, whether that’s Paris Hilton’s enduring fame, the cult of “Napoleon Dynamite,” or Shakira’s dance moves. With good-natured jabs and a supportive environment for unpopular opinions, it’s a chatty, relatable listen—proving that in pop culture, you’re never the only one who just doesn’t “get it.”