Vault: Who hasn't paid their taxes yet?

Summary

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The Bert Show: Vault - "Who Hasn't Paid Their Taxes Yet?"

Date: July 17, 2026
Podcast: The Bert Show
Main Hosts in Episode: Likely Bert, Kristin, Cassie, Tommy, Abby

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Overview

In this candid, lighthearted episode, the Bert Show crew tackles the anxiety, procrastination, and sometimes outright avoidance surrounding tax day. With relatable admissions and calls from listeners, the show explores the range of tax behaviors — from "I forgot it was today" to not filing for almost two decades. The hosts encourage honesty and humor, making the topic feel approachable and real.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Tax Day Procrastination & Forgetfulness

• The hosts open with a poll: has anyone just realized today is tax day?

• Some cast members admit to filing right before the deadline or having to file for extensions due to lack of organization.

  • Quote: "I had to file an extension because I couldn't get my act together." (02:35)

• They note it's common to push off tax tasks, sometimes until literally the last minute.

2. Listener Calls: Have You Missed Tax Day or Just Don't Pay?

The hosts invite listeners to call in — either those who only now remembered it’s tax day or the more daring souls who haven’t paid taxes in ages.

a. Forgetting or Not Knowing It’s Tax Day

• Caller 1 (Student Server, ~21 years old):

  • Uncertain whether she even filed taxes this year.
  • As a server, tips are automatically reported, so she expects little—"$19 back...whatever." (03:46)
  • Still defers to her dad for help, prompting playful scolding to "cut the cord."
  • Quote: "I think I may have done them online, and I'm not really sure...Isn't that terrible?" (03:24)

• Caller 3 (Sarah):

  • Filed taxes months ago but forgot to send payment and state voucher.
  • Stuck in traffic, looking for her checkbook after this on-air reminder.

b. Chronic Non-Payers and Tax Avoiders

• The show utilizes a voice disguiser for privacy. Some notable confessions:

  • Caller (Spouse): Her husband hasn't paid taxes in six years after a $17,000 penalty for early 401k withdrawal. She files as single and is "terrified every day." (07:20 - 07:54)

  • Renee: Her ex hasn't filed taxes in 14 years as a subcontractor. The IRS has contacted him but taken no action yet.

    • Quote: "They've actually found him...but they haven't done anything yet." (08:34)

  • Tom: Last paid taxes in 1998. Originally missed a year while in school and working, then never resumed. Claimed the IRS told him not to worry, only requiring payment for one year.

    • Quote: "I believe this was '98... and then I just don't know what happened after that." (09:22)

  • Christy: Caring for her father, who hasn't filed taxes in 19 years due to self-employment and now ill health.

    • Quote: "He was a builder, so he was self-employed and just never paid taxes while he was a builder. And he had a stroke two years ago..." (10:50)

3. Host Reactions: Humor, Shock, and Relatability

• The hosts oscillate between laughter, disbelief, and empathy regarding the tax dodging stories.

• Fascinated by how some callers aren't worried about consequences.

  • Quote: "I would be so nervous every single day the tax guy was going to be at my door." (05:53)

• Joking about industries known for underreporting income—servers, strippers, and anyone working for cash or tips.

• Callers' nonchalance at major IRS risk prompts mock horror and incredulity.

• Some hosts acknowledge the IRS often prefers proactive communication and a good-faith plan to eventual collection or prosecution.

4. Tax Myths and Urban Legends

• Brief discussion whether or not U.S. law “technically” requires income tax, with co-host noting there's always a conspiracy theorist pushing this myth, but it doesn't stand up in reality.
  • Quote: "Technically, there is no law that says income tax has to be paid... talk to the people that have been sent to jail." (12:18 -12:19)

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Notable Quotes and Moments (with Timestamps)

• "You'd think that you would have it circled on your calendar." (01:37) – Host
• "I just filed mine yesterday." (02:33) – Cast member, admitting last-minute filing
• "I go to my dad. I'm 21." (04:28) – Student server caller, on still asking for parental help
• "My ex hasn't filed in 14 years." (08:25) – Renee, on voice disguiser
• "I believe this was '98." (09:22) – Tom, voice disguised non-payer
• "I'm just kind of playing stupid." (11:01) – Christy, taking over taxes for her incapacitated father
• "That'll buy you a year. But eventually they're going to want their money." (11:37) – Host, on IRS persistence
• "Surprised we didn't get that defiant call... 'This is not my country, I'm not paying this year!'" (11:52) – Host, joking on tax protests

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Key Timestamps & Segments

• 01:20–02:38: Initial host confessions, extending deadlines, and procrastination stories
• 03:21–04:59: Student server’s tax forgetfulness and hosts’ reactions
• 05:05–05:33: Sarah’s “forgot to pay the state” dilemma
• 07:20–08:08: Spouse’s six-year non-payment, fear, and high penalties
• 08:18–08:52: Renee’s ex-husband, 14-year gap, and IRS contact
• 09:15–10:34: Tom, 1998 last payment, IRS willingness to negotiate
• 10:50–11:47: Christy’s 19-year non-paying self-employed father
• 12:02–12:19: Tax protest mythology and reality check

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Tone, Style, and Atmosphere

• Genuine, playful, and confessional: Hosts aren’t afraid to admit their own stumbles and poke fun at themselves and callers alike.
• Relatable anxieties: Acknowledges the stress, confusion, and avoidance many feel around taxes.
• Mix of shock and empathy: While amazed at the brazen non-filers, the cast maintains a mostly supportive, lighthearted perspective.

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Conclusion

This episode of The Bert Show brings tax season angst and avoidance into the open — making listeners feel seen, if not entirely absolved. From last-second filers to people risking it all by not filing for decades, the show laughs, gasps, and even offers a bit of practical advice. The message: you’re not alone, but maybe it’s time to get those forms in.

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Transcript

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[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

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[Host (possibly Birch)]

All right, so we spent some time this morning talking about taxes, and today's that day. And I don't know that we're gonna get any calls on this, but from time to time, we'll throw a question out where we assume nobody will call us.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yeah, I don't think we're gonna get calls on this.

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

I guarantee we'll get at least one.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Everybody knows what April 15th is.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

You'd think that you would have it circled on your calendar.

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

Some people don't pay attention to the date and their alarm could have gone off. And I can't remember what time it was, but at some point Wendy just said, happy tax Day.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Here's our question. Is that is there anybody listening that just now realized just now that today is tax day. And you know, you have to pay taxes, but you didn't realize it until this very second or 10 minutes ago. 404-741-Q100 we should have had like accountants

[Co-host or Panelist]

or whatever, we should have done a vent line for them. You know, I guess they wouldn't have time to even call the vent line. But like, I think tomorrow they have now decreed it tax preparer day. Because since midnight tonight's the cutoff for taxes. Then, you know, tax preparers then get a Little bit of a break because, you know. Cause they've been working nonstop for three months, I think. So I'm sure that all the. Well, I'm sure they would love the business, but I wonder how many calls they're going to get today. Like, I don't know if it's last minute and I'm. I call myself. I mean, I. I just filed mine yesterday.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

You did?

[Caller 1 (Student Server)]

Oh, really?

[Co-host or Panelist]

I had to file an extension because I couldn't get my act together.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

When did you start filling out your taxes?

[Co-host or Panelist]

Well, I hired somebody to do it for me.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

When did you.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I don't do the turbo tax anymore.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

When did you hire them?

[Co-host or Panelist]

Months ago.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Oh.

[Caller 2 (Long-time non-payer)]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Panelist]

But it's my fault for not getting them the stuff they needed.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Okay. We got, like. Oh, we had one. We had one call and he went away. Joe was about to say he didn't realize it.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Did he say he realized it?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Here we go.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I could never wait till last minute. I'm too paranoid that they're gonna come after me.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

I have no idea if we got our stuff. I gotta be honest with you.

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

I do an extension every year.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

You do?

[Caller 3 (Sarah)]

Really?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Do you need it? You just get it done just because, you know, for you, like, tax day is in August.

[Commercial Announcer (McDonald's)]

Yeah.

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

October.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Hey, Jane. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 1 (Student Server)]

Hey, guys.

[Co-host or Panelist]

What's going on?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Hi. You had no idea it was tax day today?

[Caller 1 (Student Server)]

I really didn't. I'm a student and I serve tables, and I think that I may have done them online, and I'm not really sure.

[Co-host or Panelist]

You don't remember if you've even done them?

Sure.

[Caller 1 (Student Server)]

Isn't that terrible? It is pretty terrible.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

This is tricky for servers. This is tricky for servers because I think you're supposed to claim, like, all your tips, but wink, wink. I mean, servers. I mean, come on.

[Caller 1 (Student Server)]

Well, we have a system that claims them all for us, and I think I'm only supposed to get $19 back anyway, so I was like, whatever.

[Co-host or Panelist]

At least you're not owing. I remember one year in college, I owed, like, $1.26. And I thought, I cannot believe I'm writing a check for a dollar.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

So what stumps me here is that you can't remember if you went online and you did your taxes or not.

[Caller 1 (Student Server)]

I mean, I think I did, but I never. I kind of just put it in the information and said, that must be done. And that was pretty much it.

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

Do you think that's an important thing to pay attention to?

[Caller 1 (Student Server)]

I mean, it definitely is. It definitely is.

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

But, I mean, if you did. So now something you want to follow up on today? So now. Now what do you do? Like, do you.

[Caller 1 (Student Server)]

I guess now I call my dad and tell him I'm not sure.

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

Oh, my God.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

How old are you now? Because there comes a point where you can't call dad for stuff like that.

[Caller 1 (Student Server)]

I'm 21.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Melissa. What would you.

[Co-host or Panelist]

I give you up to 22 because that's typically how long you'd be in school anyway. So if from 23 on you. Yeah, come on now. Cut the court, baby.

Cut the court. If her parents are still paying for. Can't they still claim her on their taxes? If she's in college, they're still paying for your education.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Okay.

[Commercial Announcer]

All right.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Well, good luck finding the 19 bucks today. Thank you.

[Caller 1 (Student Server)]

Thanks.

[Commercial Announcer (McDonald's)]

Bye.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Bye. Here is Sarah. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 3 (Sarah)]

Oh, good morning.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

No idea that today was tax day?

[Caller 3 (Sarah)]

No, I didn't actually. Well, I did my taxes a couple months ago, but I didn't pay them or send off, you know, the voucher for the state or nothing like that. So I'm like, oh, no, yeah, I

[Co-host or Panelist]

gotta do that today.

[Caller 3 (Sarah)]

Yeah, yeah, it's rather. I know. Now I'm stuck in traffic and I'm like, where's my checkbook? So it's a good thing I listened to the radio this morning.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yeah, I'm glad we could provide.

You have until midnight, though, so don't

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

stress out the five biggest penises in Hollywood and your tax day reminders.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yes, that's right.

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

The Bert Show.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Here's another one we can ask. Today also is. And we'll use the voice disguiser for this is who's just not paying taxes? Like, you're. I mean, you're just refusing or who hasn't paid taxes in the longest time?

[Commercial Announcer (McDonald's)]

I had friends.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

404741, Q100. That might be the more interesting answer there because I would be so nervous every single day. The tax guy was going to be at my door. But you were. And it might be for hardship reasons. You just haven't been able to do it for three years. So 404, 741. Q100. Look for two different people, who's not paying this year and who's gone the longest without paying taxes?

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yeah, I had friends back when I first moved to Atlanta who were servers, and they were getting all, like, you mentioned, like, all these tips. They were, like, living on it, but they weren't filing taxes at all, like, for like, five years in a row.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

I think that's Fairly common in that industry, isn't it?

[Co-host or Panelist]

Well, I don't think they are. You have to file on what your paycheck is. Cause most servers make like. Well, producer Joanna could tell us, like,

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

three bucks an hour.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yeah, Yeah. I think it was like 213 an hour back then. And then anything above and beyond that was your tip. So they weren't claiming all their tips and just pocketing it.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

There are a couple of industries that are like that. Right. You got servers. Who else?

[Co-host or Panelist]

Strippers?

Anybody that works on tips. Yeah, but. But it's one thing to file it and just not claim everything. It's another thing not to file together.

Yeah.

And to be missing. You know what I mean? And we do have the voice disguiser because it will catch up with you.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

There are five that are ringing right now. I will put them on the voice disguiser even though they haven't recorded.

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

Well, Joanna's a server, so she might be getting advice from them before she puts them through to us.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Hey, we will call you, Susan. And you are on the voice disguiser.

[Caller 4 (Voice Disguiser - Susan/Renee/Christy)]

Hey.

[Caller 5 (Spouse of non-payer)]

My husband hasn't paid taxes in six years.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Is that just because he's digging in? There's, like, a political reason, or are you guys just broke?

[Caller 5 (Spouse of non-payer)]

No, he actually took some money out of his 401k. And at that point, he was going to owe, like, $17,000. And anyway, so I file. But I file single, so I'm terrified every day.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Sure.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Okay.

[Caller 4 (Voice Disguiser - Susan/Renee/Christy)]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Panelist]

So he's waiting until he can put that money back.

[Caller 5 (Spouse of non-payer)]

Right. Or an attorney to, you know, help solve this.

[Co-host or Panelist]

That's a high penalty. He got penalized $17,000 for taking money out of his 401k, right?

[Caller 5 (Spouse of non-payer)]

It was over $100,000.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yeah, you're not supposed to touch that.

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

And he only got penalized 1700.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

17,000.

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

Okay.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

And six years. That's not like. I mean, it's not like. I mean, they're gonna find you eventually, so you really are. You're living on borrowed time.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Yep.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Here is Renee. She's also on the voice disguiser. Hey, Renee.

[Caller 4 (Voice Disguiser - Susan/Renee/Christy)]

Hey.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Good morning.

[Caller 4 (Voice Disguiser - Susan/Renee/Christy)]

Morning. How are y'?

[Caller 2 (Long-time non-payer)]

All?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Okay. How are you?

[Caller 4 (Voice Disguiser - Susan/Renee/Christy)]

Good. My ex hasn't found in 14 years.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

14 years. How is that possible?

[Caller 4 (Voice Disguiser - Susan/Renee/Christy)]

Because he does, like, subcontracting where he works for a company, and they just haven't filed taxes.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Isn't he freaked out that it's just a matter of time where they're gonna knock on the door?

[Caller 4 (Voice Disguiser - Susan/Renee/Christy)]

They've actually found him. They found his address, and they've been in contact with him, but they haven't done anything yet.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Yes, yes. That's worse.

[Co-host or Panelist]

But that's jail time. Yeah.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Yeah, that's worse than not.

[Co-host or Panelist]

She's laughing funny.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Panelist]

You think?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Well, it's because it's her exact.

[Caller 5 (Spouse of non-payer)]

That's why.

[Caller 4 (Voice Disguiser - Susan/Renee/Christy)]

Exactly.

[Co-host or Panelist]

She's like, I'm the one that turned him in.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Here's Tom. Good morning. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Caller 2 (Long-time non-payer)]

Hey, how's it going?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Okay. How are you?

[Caller 2 (Long-time non-payer)]

I'm doing pretty good.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

How long we talking about? When's the last time you paid taxes?

[Caller 2 (Long-time non-payer)]

I believe this was 98.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

98.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Wow.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

For what reason?

[Caller 2 (Long-time non-payer)]

Well, I had somebody prepare my taxes in 98 and it was like, I owe money, but I was in school full time and working and everything. And I was like, there's no way I'm not paying this year. So I didn't pay that year. I know. So I didn't pay that year. And then I just don't know what happened after that.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

Well, then what happened? Well, you had an excuse in 98, so what happened in 99 and 2002? 01 and 2.

[Caller 2 (Long-time non-payer)]

But, you know, I talked to the IRS and I was like, they're not worried about it, so.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Right.

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

Let me ask you a question. Was the irs, did they call you from your brother's phone number and did they sound kind of like your brother and were they laughing every now and again while they talked to you on April 1st?

[Host (possibly Birch)]

So did they call you or you called them and said, look, I called

[Caller 2 (Long-time non-payer)]

them because I wanted to go ahead and get everything reconciled. And they told me, don't worry about it. They was like, they only wanted me to pay for one year.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

You sure you gotta make the most money, the irs, or were you just off by one number, one letter? Cause this is the first that I've ever heard of IRS being.

[Co-host or Panelist]

Actually, I'm sure the IRS will work with people if. Because he was proactive in calling them. So I'm sure, because the IRS is probably like, well, we'd rather have some money than no money at all. But one year out of what, 12 years you haven't paid here is.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

I will take one more call. Christy, you're on the voice disguiser. Go ahead.

[Caller 4 (Voice Disguiser - Susan/Renee/Christy)]

Hi. I am now taking care of my father who's had a stroke and he has not filed taxes in 19 years.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

19 on purpose?

[Caller 4 (Voice Disguiser - Susan/Renee/Christy)]

Well, he was a builder, so he was self employed and just never paid taxes while he was a builder. And he had a stroke two years ago. So now I'm his power of attorney. And like, I'M just kind of playing stupid.

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

So were you surprised, like you were getting his affairs in order or did you know?

[Caller 4 (Voice Disguiser - Susan/Renee/Christy)]

Oh, I knew. But you know, I file him now as one of my dependents. So he is on my taxes now, but for the, you know, other 19 years that he didn't file, I'm just going to be like, oh, I had no idea. And my dad's had a stroke and can't talk, so I didn't know.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

That'll buy you a year. But eventually they're going to want their money.

[Caller 4 (Voice Disguiser - Susan/Renee/Christy)]

Well, how is he covered? I mean, the thing is, is now he can't get Social Security. He can't get anything. So how are they going to get it?

[Co-host or Panelist]

Well, you'll talk to the IRS about it because I'm sure they'll work something out with you.

Quote, unquote.

[Host (possibly Birch)]

They're getting their money. Yeah, I'm surprised we didn't get that defiant call. I live in this country, but the Barack Obama administration. This is not my country. I'm not paying this year.

[Co-host (possibly Bert)]

And there are people, you know, who believe and I actually, I think it's true, but it's you'd have to have one of those conspiracy theorists type people. But technically there is no law that says income tax has to be paid. There's a significant talk to the people

[Co-host or Panelist]

that have been sent to jail because

[Host (possibly Birch)]

they haven't paid their technically, we'll never really get you anywhere.

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