Vault: Who was married in 24hrs or less?

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault: Who Was Married in 24 hrs or Less?

Episode Date: July 20, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this throwback “vault” episode, The Bert Show sets out to discover if any listeners can top a wild celebrity wedding story—marriage within 24 hours of meeting. The cast, in their signature fun, candid style, riff on the impulsive Vegas nuptials of reality TV star Shayne Lamas and Nick Richie. The segment seeks tales of whirlwind romances, questioning whether listeners have ever married someone they’d just met even faster. As call-in responses arrive—and evade the subject in comedic fashion—the hosts navigate the concept of impulsiveness, chemistry, and the Vegas effect, all while blending genuine curiosity with self-deprecating humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Celebrity Inspiration: The Fastest Wedding

• The episode launches from Shayne Lamas, former “Bachelor” winner and daughter of Lorenzo Lamas, marrying Nick Richie (founder of thedirty.com) in Las Vegas less than 24 hours after meeting him.
• [01:26] Co-Host: "She decided to go get her party on in Vegas and actually got married in less than 24 hours from meeting the dude... So she meets Nick Richie... and they tie the knot."

2. The Challenge: Can Anyone Beat 24 Hours?

• The main host throws down the gauntlet, asking if any listener has managed to get married even faster—from “eyesight to ‘I do’.”
• [01:59] Main Host: "Who can beat that record? Who listening right now can beat 24 hours today?... So you meet each other. It's chemistry. It's fantastic..."
• They emphasize the “magic” or “madness” of Vegas as a setting that enables such spontaneous decisions.

3. Questioning Impulsivity: “How Could You Do It?”

• The co-hosts express skepticism (with a blend of shock and amusement) about marrying a stranger so quickly unless extreme circumstances (alcohol, drugs) are involved.
• [02:48] Co-Host: "Unless you are absolutely wasted. Alcohol, drugs, whatever. How could you do it? How could you really do it?"

4. The Britney Spears Example

• To ground the whirlwind concept in recent pop culture, the conversation shifts to Britney Spears' infamous Vegas marriage, but noting she at least knew her brief spouse, Jason Alexander, from childhood.
• [02:51] Co-Host: "...like Britney Spears, when she went and did that, it was with her childhood friend... They had known each other all growing up..."
• The difference: It’s one thing to marry someone you’ve known for years versus hours.

5. Reaction & Anticipation: “No One’s Going To Call…”

• The hosts are self-aware and jokingly doubt they’ll get a single legitimate caller with a faster marriage story.
• [03:32] Main Host: "By the way, no calls. I think we're gonna do it today. It's really not what I thought it would be."
  [03:39] Main Host: "It's really pretty boring, actually."
• They tease each other about making the repetitive “from eyesight to ‘I do’” phrase work, trying to salvage humor from the lack of wild stories.

6. The Vegas Annullment “Safety Net”

• The hosts muse about the idea of “just canceling” such rash decisions because Vegas weddings are easy to annul, making them less consequential in some minds.
• [03:54] Main Host: "...we're in Vegas. We can get this thing annulled tomorrow if we really want to."

7. Listener Calls: (Almost) None Hit the Mark

• A brief influx of calls comes through, but none are true whirlwind wedding stories—instead, it devolves into song requests, celebrity Tweets, and jokey asides.
• Notable moments:
  • [04:26] Bert Show Host fields off-beat calls: "Hi, Bieber Fever. Will you play a song for me?"
  • "Can I get tickets to the Nickelback show?"

8. The Ultimate (Comic) Failure

• Admitting defeat, the crew transitions from “from eyesight to ‘I do’” to "we failed," poking fun at themselves and the anticlimax of the segment.
• [04:45] Main Host: "It's gone."
  [04:45] Co-Host: "Fail, fail, fail, fail."
  [04:49] Host: "We failed. We went from eyesight to I do to I failed."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “She meets Nick Richie. They're in Vegas. They go to the little white wedding chapel, and they tie the knot. They met less than 24 hours before they got married.”
  —Co-Host [01:50]
• “Who can beat that record? Who listening right now can beat 24 hours today?... From eyesight to I do in less than 24 hours.”
  —Main Host [01:59, 02:29]
• "Unless you are absolutely wasted. Alcohol, drugs, whatever. How could you do it? How could you really do it?... Like, hey, baby, can I buy you a vodka tonic? And then married."
  —Co-Host [02:48-03:32]
• "We failed. We went from eyesight to I do to I failed."
  —Host [04:49]

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Important Timestamps

• 01:02 – Segment introduction; host poses the show’s challenge
• 01:26-02:00 – Discussion of Shayne Lamas and Nick Richie’s 24-hour wedding
• 02:29-03:32 – Hosts analyze the impulsiveness of such decisions; Britney Spears reference
• 03:39-04:03 – Speculation about annulments in Vegas weddings
• 04:21-04:37 – Listeners begin calling, but with unrelated requests (comedic moment)
• 04:45-04:49 – Show admits defeat: “We failed…”

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Tone & Style

True to The Bert Show’s hallmark blend of casual, lively banter and irreverent humor, this segment tackles an outrageous premise—marrying a stranger in under 24 hours—with a mix of fascination, skepticism, and plenty of self-deprecating gags. The hosts riff on pop culture, poke fun at themselves, and keep things light, even as their “call-in experiment” fizzles in unexpected (but amusing) ways.

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Transcript

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[The Bert Show Host]

The Burt show.

[Bert Show Main Host]

All right, so I think I have a question to ask today that we will not get one call on. Okay? Okay. Cause the playing field is gonna be set so high slash low for this question that I don't think that it can be beat today. Okay? So let me. First, I'll give out the phone number. 404741, Q100. And this is based on a story in Jen hobbies entertainment buzz this morning.

[Bert Show Co-Host]

Yes, Shane Lamas is her name. She is the winner of the bachelor. She is the daughter of Lorenzo. Well, she decided to go get her party on in Vegas and actually got married in less than 24 hours from meeting the dude. It's this dude who runs this online, like, gossipy celebrity website called thedirty.com. so the guy who runs that, I was trying to pull up his name right now. Nick Richie. What is it?

[The Bert Show Host]

Nick Richie.

[Bert Show Co-Host]

Nick Richie. So she meets Nick Richie. They're in Vegas. They go to the little white wedding chapel, and they tie the knot. They met less than 24 hours before they got married.

[Bert Show Main Host]

Okay, who can beat that record? Who listening right now can beat 24 hours today? I think we finally got a winner. Okay. 404-741. Q100. So you meet each other. It's chemistry. It's fantastic. There would also have to be timing involved in this because they were in Vegas at this at the right time. Right at the same time they were in Vegas. And that's why they could get married within 24 hours.

[Bert Show Co-Host]

Yeah.

[Bert Show Main Host]

So who listening got married from eyesight to I do in less than 24 hours.

[Bert Show Co-Host]

How could I die?

[The Bert Show Host]

Wow. Bernie, you know what? Take your headphones. Can I go, we got the rest of the show.

[Bert Show Co-Host]

You're done.

[Bert Show Main Host]

It's because I'm only on Tylenol today.

[Bert Show Co-Host]

Unless you are absolutely wasted. Alcohol, drugs, whatever. How could you do it? How could you really do it? Like Britney Spears, when she went and did that, it was with her childhood friend Jason Alexander. They had known each other all growing up. They were having a party weekend, but they had known each other a long time. So I can see how you get swept up in that moment. Like, oh, I always had a crush on you my whole life. Let's just do this and get married. And I trust you. And you knew me before I was famous. And you can see how Britney Spears would have gotten kind of, like, swept up in the moment or the emotion of it. Dumb decision. Yes. They annulled it later, whatever. But still, you could see that. But they just met, like, at the bar, like, hey, baby, can I buy you a vodka tonic? And then married.

[Bert Show Main Host]

And the chemistry was so strong. By the way, no calls. I think we're gonna do it today. It's really not what I thought it would be.

[Bert Show Co-Host]

From eyesight.

[Bert Show Main Host]

It's really pretty boring, actually.

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[Bert Show Main Host]

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[The Bert Show Host]

How many times. You should see how many times you can work in from eyes. I do. Just to make something good come out of this. Right, right, right.

[Bert Show Main Host]

Do you think that when they met each other, it was sort of like, yeah, there's something here, but let's go get married. And we know that. I mean, we're in Vegas. We can get this thing annulled tomorrow if we really want to.

[Bert Show Co-Host]

Yeah, I guess they could. But why would you even do it if you were thinking about annulling it? You would really have to be, like, swept up in the moment of like. Or just, like, rebellion. Fun, you know, we're in Vegas.

[Bert Show Main Host]

Screw it. You know, Just go for it. I think we got it.

[Bert Show Co-Host]

I wonder if they wake up.

[The Bert Show Host]

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[Bert Show Main Host]

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[Bert Show Co-Host]

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[The Bert Show Host]

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[Bert Show Main Host]

It's gone.

[Bert Show Co-Host]

Fail, fail, fail, fail.

[The Bert Show Host]

We failed. We went from eyesight to I do to I failed.

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