Vault: Who Was Married The Quickest After Their Divorce?

Summary

The Bert Show "Vault: Who Was Married The Quickest After Their Divorce?"

Date: December 17, 2025
Podcast Host: Pionaire Podcasting
Cast Featured: Bert, Kristen, Abby, Cassie, Tommy & callers
Theme: Hilariously rapid remarriages after divorce

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Episode Overview

This lively episode of The Bert Show dives into the whirlwind world of lightning-fast post-divorce weddings. The hosts invite listeners to call in and share stories about the shortest time spans between finalizing a divorce and tying the knot again. The segment is lighthearted and filled with wild tales, candid confessions, and a generous dose of humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Scene: How Quick is Too Quick?

• The hosts express surprise at just how many listeners have stories about nearly instantaneous remarriages.
• Discussion touches on legal waiting periods for divorce (e.g., 30 days in Georgia), and how some couples may be separated for a long time but only officially divorced just before remarrying.

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2. Lightning-Round Listener Stories

a. Three Days After Divorce

• Caller Megan shares about her father-in-law who married his new wife just three days after finalizing his divorce.
  • "He signed his divorce papers, drove off to go see his new wife... Two days after that, he flew us all up there for the wedding." (00:24)
  • Hosts comment on how strange (but apparently common) it is to plan a wedding before a divorce is technically final.

b. Same-Day Nuptials — With a Jerry Springer Twist

• Caller Loretta recounts how her ex-husband got her the divorce papers via FedEx and married someone else—same day.
  • “He sent me a money order along with the FedEx divorce papers, asking me to express mail it the next day. They got married the day they received the paper, same day.” (01:17)
  • "It's like a Jerry Springer show." (01:47)

c. Immediate Courthouse Shuffle

• Caller April: Her stepfather finalized his divorce that morning, then took her mother straight to the courthouse.
  • “Drove my mother straight to the courthouse and got married. Just like that.” (02:24)

d. Six Hours—A Full Wedding Ready in Advance

• The next caller describes an ex-brother-in-law whose ex-wife got the papers in the morning; he married his new wife, complete with elaborate wedding, six hours later.
  • “They had already planned this big elaborate wedding... she got her papers that morning.” (02:52)
  • The hosts laugh about the logistics: “So what if the divorce papers are late... you’re pretty screwed.” (03:31)

e. One Hour, 80's Style

• Caller Angela shares that her father married his new wife just an hour after divorcing her mom—and describes the iconic style.
  • “His new wife was waiting outside with her lace glove and black leather skirt and high white pumps... an hour later.” (03:40)
  • "The vision of classiness." (04:00)
  • “You gotta remember, this was in the 80s, so I guess she was in style at the time.” (04:02)
  • Co-host quips: “Even in the 80s, honey, that’s not gonna be in style for a wedding.” (04:05)

f. Half Hour—The Quickest Yet

• Caller Melissa: “Within half an hour.”
  • She explains that as soon as her lawyer confirmed the divorce, they drove to the courthouse and married.
  • Hosts ask: “You still with him?” Melissa: “Yeah. Eight years.” (04:37)
  • The hosts marvel at the longevity: “If it’s meant to be, it’ll be, right?” (04:42), but note statistically, second marriage divorce rates are higher.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Megan: "He signed his divorce papers, drove off to go see his new wife... We flew up there two days later for the wedding." (00:24)
• Loretta: "He sent me a money order along with the FedEx divorce papers... They got married the day they received the paper, same day." (01:17)
• Angela: "His new wife was waiting outside with her lace glove and black leather skirt and high white pumps... an hour later." (03:48)
• Host Cassie: "The vision of classiness." (04:00)
• Melissa: "We kept calling my lawyer and when she said okay, we were driving up to the courthouse and it took a few minutes." (04:23)

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Timestamped Segment Breakdown

• 00:00–00:50 – Introduction to topic, Megan’s story (three days post-divorce marriage)
• 01:12–01:58 – Loretta’s Jerry Springer-style same-day remarriage
• 02:12–02:41 – April’s stepfather’s back-to-back courthouse wedding
• 02:48–03:22 – Elaborate six-hour wedding, planned while divorce pending
• 03:38–04:05 – Angela’s one-hour window & 80’s wedding fashion discussion
• 04:14–04:38 – Melissa’s half-hour new marriage & hosts discuss remarriage statistics

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

The episode is infused with the Bert Show's trademark energy: candid, playful, and sometimes irreverent. Callers and hosts blend shock, laughter, and genuine curiosity about how quickly people move on—and how sometimes, these whirlwind romances turn into lasting partnerships. Listeners are left with hilarious anecdotes and a sense that love, for better or for worse, doesn’t always wait for the paperwork.

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Perfect for those who love outrageous love stories—and for anyone looking for a dose of morning radio hilarity rooted in real life.

Transcript

[A]

The Burt Show. We're asking you guys, is there anybody listening that has been married in a shorter amount of time after your divorce was finalized? And we got no shortage of calls on this. Good morning, Megan. You are on all the hits Q100.

[B]

Hey, how are you guys doing?

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Good. I mean, it's not me, it's my father in law. Three days.

[C]

Three days.

[A]

Three days.

[B]

He signed his divorce papers, drove off to go see his new wife, now that lives in Ohio. And two days after that, he flew us all up there for the wedding.

[A]

It's gotta be a little strange because he's planning a wedding while the divorce still isn't final.

[C]

Yeah, I think that happens a lot. I think once a couple separates and they go through the divorce proceedings, they start dating other people and by the time their divorce is final, they're already with somebody new.

[A]

You know how I wait. How long does the divorce proceeding take? In Georgia it's 30 days. Like, not that I've looked into it.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

But I think some couples answered it pretty quickly.

[C]

Yeah, I know that we had some.

[A]

Friends that just got divorced, but I.

[C]

Think some couples will separate first before they just file the paper. So some couples have been apart for a while. By the time they get finally divorced.

[A]

Good morning, Loretta. You're on all the hits Q100.

[B]

Hi, Bart, how you doing?

[A]

Good, thank you.

[B]

I think I've got her beat, actually. My, my ex husband had the nerve to FedEx me divorce papers after, you know, all year long trying to get a divorce. He wouldn't give me one. Then suddenly he gets involved with someone, got her pregnant and sent me a money order along with the FedEx divorce papers, asking me to express mail it the next day. They got married the day they received the paper, same day.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah, so it's really funny, but you know, it's like a Jerry Springer show. Anyway, I still get to be in contact with the ex mother in law and she's always telling me, you know, the Jerry Springer stories.

[A]

Oh, I bet you love those. I bet you can't get enough of those.

[B]

Oh, I know, it's like, aha, you know, so payback. But yeah.

[C]

And I'm sure he's happy that you're still in touch with his mother, right?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, I get those little calls, you know.

[A]

I'm sure there's prying going on every time. That is great. I don't want to pry, but if I did, it would sound a little like this. Good morning, April. You're on all the hits Q100 Good Morning Guys.

[B]

My stepfather went to the lawyer's office in the morning, got his finalization from his ex wife and drove my mother to the straight to the courthouse and got married.

[A]

Just like that. Wow. Just like that.

[B]

Just like that.

[C]

Are he and your mother still married?

[B]

They've been married for 22 years.

[A]

Is that right? See now all of a sudden it becomes a romantic story. He knew he couldn't wait. Longing all the hits.

[B]

Q100 Hey, I got something to beat all of them.

[C]

All right.

[B]

My ex brother in law, his ex wife got her papers that morning. They had already planned this humongous wedding for the second wife. They got married at 2:30 that evening.

[A]

So 8 o' clock he gets the papers and six hours later he's married to somebody else.

[B]

And it was a big wedding. It wasn't something. No justice of the peace. They had already planned this big elaborate wedding. And we didn't think it was gonna happen because I'm like, you're still married, dude. But she got her papers that morning.

[C]

When they were planning the wedding. Ok, I gotta call the florist, I gotta call the, you know, whatever. And I gotta call the lawyer, make sure the divorce papers are gonna come that morning. You know, I mean, man.

[A]

Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So what if the divorce papers are late that day or they just don't get there or a lawyer gets lazy or something. You're pretty screwed.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Angela.

[B]

Yes. One hour.

[A]

One hour.

[B]

Yes. My mom and dad went to the courthouse, got divorced. His new wife was waiting outside with her lace glove and black leather skirt and high white pumps.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

And she's an hour later.

[C]

Okay. Black leather skirt. Uh huh. With white pumps.

[B]

With white pumps and white lace gloves. Like Madonna. Oh, I'm so proud. So proud.

[C]

The vision of classiness. Yes.

[B]

And you gotta remember this was in the 80s, so I guess she was in style at the time.

[C]

Oh my God. No. Yeah. Even in the 80s, honey, that's not gonna be installed for a wedding. Yeah. They just need to stop making white pumps. Just don't make any more of them.

[A]

Hey, Melissa. Hey. Good morning.

[B]

Within half an hour.

[A]

Half an hour.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How does that work?

[B]

We kept calling my lawyer and when she said okay, we were driving up to the courthouse and it took a few minutes.

[A]

That was it. That fast? You still with him?

[B]

Yeah. Eight years.

[A]

Eight years, huh?

[B]

Eight years in about a month.

[C]

I mean, because if it's meant to be, it'll be, right? But that is surprising because we've heard so many different statistics and that the. The divorce rate for second marriages is higher than for first marriages.

[A]

The Birch Show.