The Bert Show: Vault – Who's Living A Single Life In Their Marriage?
Episode Date: January 29, 2026
Host Network: Pionaire Podcasting
Overview: Main Theme & Purpose
This episode centers on a provocative question: Are there couples living “single lives” within marriage, particularly for the sake of their children or other external reasons? Inspired by headlines about New York Governor David Patterson openly admitting to mutual affairs within his marriage, The Bert Show explores the complexities of open marriages where spouses cohabit and parent together but pursue independent romantic and sexual relationships. The cast invites listeners in similar situations to share their stories, aiming for authentic, real-world perspectives on why couples might choose this unconventional path.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Patterson Governor Story as Catalyst (00:00–01:45)
- Host A recounts how Gov. Patterson admitted not only to his own affairs but also to his wife’s, sparking speculation that their marriage is sustained primarily for the children, with both living virtually single lives under one roof.
- Quote (A, 00:15): “In my mind, what I heard him saying was that they were having affairs with other people, but both knew about it... at the epicenter of it is our kids.”
2. Clarifying the Episode’s Focus (01:45–02:34)
- The cast clarifies they are not seeking stories about swinging couples or joint-open relationships, but specifically about couples who separate emotionally and romantically while staying married for practical reasons.
- Quote (C, 02:14): “Swinging is out… This is not what they were doing.”
3. Reasons People Might Stay Married But Live Separately (02:34–03:17)
- The group considers social and financial reasons beyond "staying for the kids": family stigma, finances, and tradition.
- Quote (A, 02:44): “Divorce is not an option in this family… I will not live with the legacy of being the first person on the family tree with a divorce.”
4. Caller Stories: Real-Life 'Single Lives' Marriages
a. Josh’s Story (04:57–07:20)
- [05:00] Josh calls in under voice disguise and shares how he and his wife separated emotionally but live together for their three young children. Both see other people openly; he describes their arrangement as “unspoken,” though they are both aware of each other’s partners.
- Quote (Josh, 06:45): “We’re pretty much together only for the kids.”
- Memorable Moment: Josh admits to having met his wife’s boyfriend and says his current relationships are more about “pissing her off” than actual desire.
- A (07:04): “It’s unspoken… She aware…?”
- Josh (07:05): “Oh, I’ve already met him.”
b. Female Caller: The Practical Open Marriage (07:26–11:44)
- [07:35] Another anonymous woman describes being “for” open marriage, having separate lives with her husband after early infidelities on his part. She is now only in the marriage for her kids.
- Quote (Caller F, 08:40): “Exactly… But he wants me, his wife… He’s definitely still in love with me. But… my feelings are… he wasn’t faithful.”
- The hosts question how the children perceive the cold, distant cohabitation and if staying “for the kids” actually benefits the family.
- C (09:17): “They know their parents are sleeping in different rooms…. More success in the parents who split than the ones that stayed together.”
- Caller F (11:16): “I mean, eventually, you’re gonna divorce this guy, right?”
- “Yes.”
c. Christine: A Sibling’s Perspective (12:16–13:24)
- [12:19] Christine calls in about her sister’s open marriage, where both openly date others but refuse divorce to avoid custody battles and upheaval for the children.
- Quote (Christine, 12:48): “You guys just divorce and get it over with. You don’t even like each other… It’s easier for them to live in the same house with their kids…”
5. Expert/Counselor Reaction (13:32–13:59)
- [13:32] A counselor, Randy, calls to express strong opposition to the “single lives” approach, warning it is harmful for children:
- Quote (Randy, 13:35): “They are going to screw up their kids so bad. I’m a counselor… I hate it for the kids. If you don’t want to be together, get separated.”
6. Cast Reflections: Is It Better to Stay or Divorce? (13:59–16:48)
- The hosts discuss examples where children of divorced parents grew up well-adjusted, even benefiting from seeing their parents develop healthy relationships post-divorce.
- D (15:12): “Like one of my best friends… both are remarried and in great marriages now. So she got to grow up… seeing two examples of great marriages rather than one example of a bad one.”
- The tension and emotional consequences for the children are spotlighted, emphasizing that “playing pretend” might not provide the safe or healthy environment parents hope.
- C (16:18): “But you can’t pretend like you’re not that good of an actor… Imagine, you know, two different bedrooms. The kids see that…”
Notable Quotes
- A, 00:15: “At the epicenter of it is our kids.”
- A, 02:44: “Divorce is not an option in this family.”
- Josh, 06:45: “We’re pretty much together only for the kids.”
- Caller F, 08:40: “He wants me, his wife. Yeah. Well… my feelings are… he wasn’t faithful to me.”
- Christine, 12:48: “You guys just divorce and get it over with. You don’t even like each other…”
- Randy the Counselor, 13:35: “They are going to screw up their kids so bad. I’m a counselor… If you don’t want to be together, get separated.”
- D, 15:12: “She got to grow up seeing two examples of great marriages rather than one example of a bad one.”
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:00–01:45 — Gov. Patterson affair revelations, show’s central question set up
- 01:45–02:34 — Clarifying difference between open marriage vs. swinging
- 02:34–03:17 — Exploring non-kid reasons for staying together (family pressure, finances)
- 04:57–07:20 — Josh’s detailed call: living together only for kids with multiple outside relationships
- 07:26–11:44 — Woman’s call: open marriage, distant partners, future divorce inevitable
- 12:16–13:24 — Christine’s family example of open marriage for practical reasons
- 13:32–13:59 — Randy the counselor: professional perspective on harm to children
- 13:59–16:48 — Hosts reflect on real outcomes for children in divorce vs. cohabiting for kids
Memorable Moments
- Josh describing the emotional detachment and meeting his wife’s boyfriend (06:45).
- Female caller bluntly predicting eventual divorce and focusing solely on the kids (11:16).
- The cast and counselor questioning whether “staying for the kids” is more harmful than honest separation (13:35, 16:18).
Conclusion
This episode of The Bert Show dives into the realities and rationalizations behind couples who live together as “single people,” maintaining marriage for their children or practical reasons, often at the expense of genuine intimacy and happiness. Candid stories from listeners reveal complex motivations and question common assumptions about what is healthiest for children. The hosts and callers alike grapple with whether emotional honesty (even divorce) might serve families better than keeping up appearances.
For anyone curious about the realities behind “open” or parallel marriages, especially those driven by necessity or tradition, this episode offers an unfiltered, thought-provoking exploration.