C (2:14)

I don't see anybody. There's nobody calling for it.

G (2:16)

They will.

E (2:19)

She feels like she can fix him, is my thought. Or could it be like, here they come. Because it could be the attention thing. Like she maybe doesn't get enough attention in her life, and he only has time to give her attention or write her back or that sort of thing. Maybe that makes her feel special, but I really think it's a. She feels like she's different and she can change him and she can fix him.

C (2:43)

Or it could be, and I'm no psychologist, but it could be a total control thing. Like when you're on the outside and you've got somebody on the inside, then you're in complete and total control of the relationship. You do what you want, go where you want. You're not accountable at all because he or she is in jail and they can't. They've got zero say. So you're in total and complete control of the relationship.

F (3:02)

Well, in the case that we just. About Scott Peterson and Brian Nichols, I mean, then there. There's not really much of a chance they're going to get out. So it's not like, you know, because I'd be worried about, you know, eventually they'll get out and then you're not in control anymore and they're coming straight to you, you know.

C (3:15)

All right, we don't have the person, but we have a friend of the person.

F (3:18)

Okay.

C (3:19)

Whitney, you fell in love with somebody in jail? Yep.

H (3:23)

It was a domestic violence dispute that he was in there for.

C (3:25)

Well, didn't that scare the hell out of you?

G (3:27)

No, it wasn't his fault. He wasn't guilty.

H (3:29)

I didn't know it at the time.

C (3:31)

So how does this whole thing even start?

H (3:33)

My friend was dating him. I had never met him. Her parents didn't agree with their relationship, so I would call or I was like the middle person for the contact.

G (3:44)

So your friend would talk to you, then you would call him in jail, then he'd relay messages back. And you go back to your friend

H (3:51)

and he would call and then I would three way her and get them on. And then eventually she moved on and me and him kept talking and one thing led to another. And.

F (4:01)

Was the domestic abuse against your friend?

H (4:05)

No, no, no, no. That was against his baby's mama.

C (4:07)

Oh, okay. So you.

E (4:09)

Did you think he really did it?

H (4:13)

I don't know when he actually got out and I met him for the first time. Everything was great for about two months. And then I kind of found out he'd lied to me about a bunch of stuff. And he was like 30 and I was, you know, 18 and he had like a five year old and yeah, I was just gonna be in.

C (4:33)

Boy, the hits just keep on coming here. You said the first time that you met him is when he got out of jail.

H (4:37)

Uh huh. Yeah, he walked to my house. He didn't have the car.

G (4:41)

Oh, from jail.

F (4:43)

That's the first place they go.

C (4:44)

That's a sweet story. How far, how far walk was that?

H (4:48)

Oh, he got out at like 2 in the afternoon and he showed up at my house like three in the morning.

C (4:54)

Oh, boy.

E (4:55)

Really? That was a long walk.

C (4:56)

Well, he'd been in jail for a long time without any, you know, have

E (4:59)

to be in jail that long and that long of a walk. I bet he smelled ripe.

G (5:02)

Guys, I'll walk that off. You put sex at the end of the march and they will go as far as you need them to that

C (5:08)

old song from the ac, Right? Proclaimers.

F (5:11)

And I love the fact that you say her friend. Her friend's mom didn't agree with it. Well, that's because she's a teenager talking to a dude that's in jail.

H (5:18)

Yeah, well, she liked all of us, so it didn't work. He came and I met him and I was just like, oh, no.

C (5:25)

Okay. All right. Well, this one you can all sort of play off. Also, she was 18. He was. She didn't really know what she was doing. I was talking to some people at the time that were adults and in their right mind. Oh, good morning, mark. You're on Q100. Hi.

D (5:39)

Hey.

H (5:40)

Hey.

D (5:40)

I gotta say, first of all, I love you guys. I love your show.

I (5:42)

Thank you.

E (5:43)

Thanks.

D (5:44)

Yeah, I just wanted to call, actually. I've been to prison and this was years ago, and I've had women actually want to write me. And I'm really surprised that like a lot more women aren't calling because that's really common.

C (5:59)

Oh, yeah, they're loaded now. Now we got plenty of them lined up.

D (6:02)

Okay. Okay. Because I was gonna say, like, I've had women. Like, I chose not to write them because, like, prison isn't a cakewalk and I need to focus on where I'm at as opposed to something on the outside. But I'm. I was gonna say I'm really surprised if nobody calls up, but is it just.

F (6:20)

Was it random women that. I mean, how did they know to write you? Really?

D (6:24)

Random, random women, how do they get

E (6:26)

your names and your ad? Like, I mean, how do they find you?

D (6:30)

Well, a lot of times your name gets passed through. Oh, well, yeah, well, you know what, girl? My cousin's in prison. Maybe you should write him. Blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, and these are like girls you just don't know. Random women. Some women. You do know, the woman that wanted to write me, it was a girl that I was. I wasn't dating her. We were just friends with benefits. And I went to prison. And when I went, I kind of called her on the phone and said, look, the relationship's over. It's best that you just go see someone else. And she kept writing me, and, you know, kept writing me. And finally she got the message, you know, but it's very common. Very common.

C (7:10)

So since you got a couple of these, you had a couple of correspondence, I think the psychology of the whole thing sort of fascinates us a little bit. So what's the common denominator with these women? Are they just really trying to make themselves available by not making themselves available? Is it. Are they trying to fix somebody in jail?

D (7:27)

It's. Well, I've seen. I think it's a combination of things. I think, one, I think they're kind of tired of the. For lack of a better term, kind of like tired of being screwed around by guys. And this guy's here. It's like a control thing. This guy is here, you know? And when you're in prison, you'll pretty much say anything, you know, you'll say anything.

C (7:49)

So at that point, they're like, I know where he is. He certainly can screw around on me. And even though he's in jail, I'll take that.

D (7:57)

Yeah, exactly.

E (7:58)

Do any of those relationships work once the guy gets out? Have you ever heard of any of them that are successful?

D (8:05)

I know of one, and it's the

G (8:08)

same track record as the Bachelor.

D (8:11)

They'd lasted for, like, maybe 10 years, and eventually she got tired of it because once he got out, he just pretty much went to his old ways.

C (8:18)

Sure. What were you in jail for?

D (8:21)

I was trafficking drugs.

C (8:23)

Okay. Were you innocent?

D (8:25)

What? Please. I was dead guilty.

H (8:27)

Okay, you're the first.

G (8:30)

Well, once you're out, then, yeah, of course I was guilty.

C (8:34)

While you're in there, you're innocent as hell. Thank you for calling, Mark. Appreciate it, man. Thank you. Yeah. Now, we could take our. Take your pick.

F (8:44)

But that's funny, though. I mean, because Jen had mentioned focused attention, which I think is part of it, too, because, you know, that prisoner has focused attention on you, but the fact that you always know where that prisoner is. Yeah, never thought of that.

C (8:55)

I will take one more call on this, but now we could probably do this for an hour. Hey, Kelly. Good morning. You're on Q100.

H (9:00)

Good morning.

C (9:01)

Good morning.

H (9:03)

How are you guys?

C (9:03)

Okay. What's up?

H (9:06)

I just. My alarm just went off. And then I was hearing this and I was like, oh, my God, they're speaking to me. It was so crazy. I knew a guy for about a week and then we. And then he went to jail. And at first I started doing it because I had never known anyone to go to jail. So I did it out of being nice, I guess.

F (9:31)

Okay.

H (9:32)

And then it turned into he was in there for about a year, about 14 months. And within those 14 months, like, we, like, fell in love with each other.

C (9:44)

I'll say the same thing I said earlier this morning. If you're a single guy and you're listening to this, you're like, I'm doing everything right. I've got a job, I've got wheels. I've got a job. I'm at East Andrews one night, you know, I'm at Velvet Room the other. I'm a good looking guy and I can't get a date. And then there's a dude sitting in jail right now. He's getting all these letters right now going, hey, I want to be with you.

F (10:01)

Hadn't even met him.

C (10:02)

Hadn't even met him. What's a guy gotta do to get to the city is you gotta go to jail.

G (10:06)

There's some guy who's actually thinking, God, I'm gonna just get picked up for something that'll just put me in there on weekends just so I can go through the mail.

C (10:16)

It happens more often than you think. Because we could seriously do this for the next hour.

I (10:20)

Wow.

E (10:20)

So wild.

C (10:21)

So it did sound like the common denominator, at least with Mark, was that women know where the men are. No, they're not screwing around. They got them right there. And they're all always there for them when you need them. Sort of.

F (10:30)

Well, that also should make a commentary on some men that are outside jail. Like, if women are having to write letters in jail to keep tabs on a guy, there are so few of

C (10:39)

you, There are so few good men out there that women are starting to go to the penal system to find their men.

G (10:47)

The Burt Show.

I (10:48)

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