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Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Get it the Burt Show Bull's distraction. We're not used to having guests in the studio and I'm about to take a picture of this and I'll send it to Joanna for our website. It's pathetic, but Burt just made his way in. Well, a roster change this morning. If you've been listening to the Bert show, you know that Burt had an operation last Thursday on his knee. So he took Friday off. He wanted to come in on Monday, but he's on pain pill. He'll tell you all about it in a second. So he's been out.
Jen
Right.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
But he sent Tracy a message and said I'm gonna at 9 o' clock, I'm gonna start making. So anytime between 9 and 11, I'll show up.
Commercial Narrator 3
Right?
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
So he has hobbled his way into the station. Meanwhile, at about 8:45, when Jen showed Melissa her underwear, thinking that we were off the air, but we were really on the air.
Bert
You have to explain that one to me a little bit better.
Jen
All right, so we were talking about the fact that Jeff did not have Anything green for St. Patrick's Day and that, you know, people are still in the eighth grade, because I did go pinch him this morning. And so Wendy had given Jeff some Mardi Gras beads that are green so he'll have something green on today. So then I made the sarcastic response that, well, if you're out there and you don't have green on today, you can't use the excuse, well, I've got green underwear on.
Bert
You know, I've got green on.
Jen
I've got a green bra on that you can't see, because that's what kids would always say, like, if they didn't have green.
Bert
This is during a break. This is during the break.
Jen
This is where all the mics on everywhere.
Bert
This isn't one of these weird conversations that start off the air with them. I hit the bed. And you guys don't realize we're on
Jen
the air because we're talking about being at fido tonight for St. Patrick's Day.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
I started out by saying, hey, don't forget, Johnny O is at Fido at 11. And then Wendy made a comment about the beads. Melissa, the pinching made the underwear statement. So we're bantering back and forth, and
Jen
Jen looks at me and says, I've got green underwear on. You want to see? And then started pulling it out of her pants.
Wendy
She did.
Jen
And after Jeff tried to lean in and look and then stopped himself, then he started talking about Guinness. And then Jen turned and said, oh, my God, are we on the air?
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Okay, but we're all wearing headphones at the same time.
Jen
We were talking for two or three minutes already by this point. So it wasn't when we just can't, you know? So that's when Jen realized that she was hitting a wall. And so we. We have made a roster change. We're like. Like Jeff said, bird is in. But Jeff left. I mean, Jen left early because she was starting to feel bad again.
Bert
It's so hot in here, y'.
Wendy
All.
Bert
Like, these pain pills, they are like a heat roller coaster. Like, when I'm up moving around, I feel like it's 140 degrees. But if I sit here long enough, I get freezing.
Jen
It's almost like menopause.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Well, Wendy. That's right, Wendy.
Bert
I was having my period of on last Thursday, so all the symptoms are the same.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Wendy turned the thermostat up because you had sent a tweet about how cold you were getting. So we thought we were being nice. Once we found out what time you'd be here, we thought we were doing nice for you.
Bert
I didn't realize that the hall was a mile and a half long. You don't realize how long it is until you're on crutches.
Jen
Well, I mean, yeah. When he said. Because Jeff was saying, oh, yeah, verse going to be in here at about 9:15. And that was about 8:45. And I said, well, he's actually down the hall. It's just going to take him 30 minutes down.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
We have. We have two things to talk to Bert about, and then we also were supposed to talk to Frankie and Bert. We won't even try to bring you up to speed on the townhouse thing because you're on pain pills, and it's. And it's going into. It's going to go into week number three.
Jen
It isn't included yet.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
It's so awesome.
Bert
But Frankie confronted the dude at one point, right?
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Frankie confronted the dude, found out he wasn't a real estate agent, and then Frankie and his sister spent the night in the bushes.
Bert
Get out of here.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Over the weekend.
Jen
Did a stakeout.
Bert
Come on.
Bluff
Really?
Bert
That is a commitment for a guy that's not getting paid huge.
Jen
And there was a. There's a TV on in the townhouse the whole night.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
So Frankie actually broke into a real estate agent's database.
Bert
This is great.
Jen
So he found the owner. The real estate agent of this townhouse is actually the owner. So the next step was he was going to call her. It was a her. That's not the guy. Walking to the townhouse and talk to him. Because the theory is if he's not doing anything illegal, he may be the security guy that comes in and turns that TV off every morning so that it looks like it's lived in.
Bert
Well, if I'm a listener, the message is loud and clear that if you call us to do it. I'm just curious. We're gonna go above and beyond to get this.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
So anyways, we're not gonna give you the update on that.
Bert
Don't need it.
Jen
Don't tell me not to do something. Then I'll do it because.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Because I want to make sure we talk to you about two things. We gotta find out about your leg.
Bert
Yeah.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
And then you sent a tweet out that Hayden's got an audition.
Bert
Yeah.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Cause you told us last week that he was going to start pursuing acting more seriously because he loves it so much. So we want to talk about his audition.
Bert
Which one you want to cover first?
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
It's up to you. You're the guest.
Bert
Let's do the leg here. The leg feels worse this time than it did on my left one. When I did it, what, three years ago, I ripped the ACL off the femur and I tore the meniscus clean this time. And I'm not sure if I did it playing soccer or if I started the whole injury playing soccer and then re injured it when I was down in Costa Rica on that boat. But that was the result.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Can you tell me what the ACL is and what a meniscus is?
Jen
Wendy, don't pass out.
Bert
The ACL is the ligament that allows you to have lateral movement, I believe, in your leg. So it can go this way and
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
this thing like this thing?
Bert
Yes. And this way also.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Okay.
Bert
Yep. And the meniscus is the cushion between the bones and your knees.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Okay.
Bert
So if you don't have any cushion there, you have arthritis. It's bone on bone and you'll just
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
wear your knees down.
Bert
You wear your knees down right there. So that was torn clean. So they had to put pins in and reattach the. The meniscus together. And they used my hamstring to reattach my ACL to my femur.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Hold on. Wendy, you okay, honey?
Wendy
I'm hanging in there.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
I read your email at 5:30 this morning, the one you sent us yesterday, and Wendy almost passed out.
Bert
Did I say the same thing in it?
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Similar.
Bert
Okay.
Wendy
No. He said something about Scotch tape and using this to connect to this and pins and needles and.
Jen
Well, I'm fascinated that they could do that. They took the hamstring and they could reconnect the ACL to, you know, you
Bert
could either take it out of a dead person or you could take it out of your own hamstring. And I went with my own, so.
Wendy
Oh, it's slimy.
Bert
And yeah, he did a great job on it. I guess so.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
And did you get your breasts done while you were under? Because they look great.
Bert
I had them reduced.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Okay. They look good.
Bert
I was working out a little too hard, a little too much muscle melt. So I got them reduced. And the recovery on it is six weeks. Zero weight on the foot at all. So I have to be on these crutches. And then four weeks, I think, in the brace.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Now, I'm assuming.
Bert
And the rehab started already. Started yesterday.
Wendy
Whew.
Bert
Two days ago.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
I'm assuming that. Cause I think you're a fool for coming in, because if you twist it again, you're doing this all over again. Right?
Bert
Yeah, but the same thing could happen in my house.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Well, I was gonna say, I'm assuming your house is getting smaller and smaller and smaller.
Bert
The painkillers were really fun the first couple of days, and I'm not. I'm not so much into them anymore. They make you irritable, and my mouth is dry all the time, and I can't think, and it's just not nearly as fun as it was first day.
Wendy
I did make your tweets entertaining to read because there was no spelling corrections in any of them.
Bert
I did have to apologize to Stacy for one of them.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
The Percocex.
Bert
Yeah.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
You know what?
Jen
We saved them. Right.
Wendy
Because it was Scacey. S, C, A, C, E Y.
Bert
Well, you're so tired when you're tweeting that you see the mistakes, but it takes so much effort to backspace and then correct it. You're like, screw it.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
We were gonna have. We were gonna have you do a dramatic reading of your tweets.
Jen
We still should. We still should, because we were gonna wait till you felt a little better, your mind was a little clearer, and let you reread your tweets from surgery.
Bert
I assure you, my mind's not any clearer today than it was when I was doing that.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Here it comes. I do enjoy the tweet where you said, I've got 50 new followers in the past 24 hours since I've been tweeting enablers. So here are some of my favorites. This is from the best of Bert on Twitter. Somebody is at the door downstairs, but I can't answer it. So I'm screaming from my bedroom like James Caan in Misery.
Bert
I'm like, I'm here.
Commercial Narrator 4
I'm here. Call.
Bert
Because there's nobody in the house. And I couldn't at that point. I was hooked up to the ice machine, and I couldn't detach it myself, so I couldn't go downstairs.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
And then here's one. At 11:18, the Percocet train just left the station. And slightly nervous. At 11:20, the Percocet train just left the station. Let's see, what else the pre. Was this pre surgery? No, this is post surgery. No lie. It Took three razors to shave the hair off my knee before surgery.
Bert
That is true. That is absolutely true. She said it's the first time that she's ever had to use three razors on somebody's knee.
Wendy
That is so scary.
Commercial Narrator 2
It was so ugly. I was so embarrassed.
Bert
It looks like a poo. It's like a poodle's leg.
Wendy
You needed one of those cool designs drawling in there so bad.
Jen
Tracy's writing her next commercial right now
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
out of Seargery. S I E G E L R Y All right. Ouch. Many Percocet Woo.
Bert
Yeah, I was just taking off. I think I didn't realize even how high I was those first couple of days until like the third day.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
The I hate that pimple half t Stop what they are doing to help.
Bert
Oh, people.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Okay.
Bert
I hate that people have to stop doing what they're doing to help.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Have heartburn from all the chick flick fries I just ate.
Bert
Have heartburn from the chick fil a fries I just ate.
Commercial Narrator 4
Okay.
Wendy
That's a new restaurant, the chick flick hoes.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
I don't puke.
Commercial Narrator 1
Hope.
Bert
I don't puke.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Okay, cool.
Bert
Got it.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Got it. And then the one that got you in trouble. Percocect denied.
Bert
Right. And you can understand why. So it's been like that the last couple of days. And yeah, the doctor said it usually takes a week to get back to work, but I was just like, I can either be miserable at home or I could be miserable in here with you guys. So I thought I'd at least try it, But I'm not promising anything tomorrow.
Jen
Yeah, that was hard. I mean, yeah, because I've know, I know friends have had the same surgery and they all were like, there's no way he's coming back. I think if I just try to
Bert
like, you know, take it like one half an hour at a time. So I was in here like 9:30 today, maybe 9 or 8:30 tomorrow. Then maybe that's the way to go. But I can't talk. I can't. Like, it's hard for me to focus on what you guys are saying. Like, the words are just a little slow and it's not nearly as fun as it was on that first day.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
I said yesterday when I emailed you, I was emailing you back and I was on the phone with somebody else and I was saying that what I think would be most useful, rather than trying to stand up or sit there and work the, you know, whatever, and for five hours and then be done at the end, will be to come in for our meetings after the show. And the person I was talking to said, well, if he's on painkillers, that wouldn't be good either. And I'm like, actually, that might be great.
Bert
I thought that yesterday, too, but I was just too tired to write you back. I was like, he won't get it. Just come in and I'll prove to him what I mean.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Okay.
Bert
So the Hayden stuff, this is really pretty exciting. So, yeah, we told you guys that Hayden signed up with an agent, the people store down in Atlanta, and they got him in a couple of workshops and stuff like that. And just the timing was really good that this Owen Wilson movie is shooting in Atlanta right now. So he went to audition for it, and I'm not sure if the agent or a casting director took a look at Hayden and just said, oh, my God, this kid looks just like the younger version of another celebrity that's in the movie.
Jen
Wow.
Bert
So we think we want him in the movie. So have him come on in one time just so another producer can't. We can put him on camera for, like 10 seconds. So about three days ago, Hayden went down there, talked to the producer.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Where is there the movie set or is it the office of your casting person?
Bert
I think it was the. I think it was the office.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Okay.
Bert
So Hayden said he was in there for 10 seconds. Stacy said it took literally less than 10 seconds. She said, tell me your name, your age, and your eye color. So he said, Hayden Weiss, 7 years old, blue eyes. And she said, thank you. Turned the camera off and said, okay, we'll be calling you. So I think if he gets the part, it'll only because he looks like the guy that's older, but, yeah, he
Jen
might be in it.
Wendy
That's all.
Bert
We're waiting on the call. Who knows?
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
This is. You know, I don't think they came to you with this because you've been under the weather, but princess called us, and Hayden and his friends are actually going to be in a reality TV show called Little boys of Atlantis, and we're going to follow.
Bert
I'm not sure he wants to take it yet. He has got to look at the contract and he's going to debate it over with us for a while that he'll realize buddies want to do it.
Jen
But.
Bert
So that's it really, in my world right now, man. And I'm just telling. It's a struggle for me right now to even talk to you guys. Like, my tongue feels numb and I just can't get the words out so.
Jen
Well, you look. You look great. I mean, I thought you were gonna come. No, seriously, I thought that he was gonna come in pale, you know, still on pain medicine. Cause sometimes, you know, but you look. You look good. Thank you.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Well, we'll make the last few minutes of the show easy for you.
Bert
Okay?
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
You can have a pic of one of two things. You can either hear Governor Sonny Perdue, who joined the show earlier.
Bert
Okay.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
Or you can hear Joanna doing three minutes of stand up comedy.
Bert
No disrespect, Governor, but you're on your way out. Let's go with Joanna.
Host (possibly Bert or a co-host)
All right, we'll explain why Joanna did stand up comedy for the Burt show, and she actually, I think you're gonna be pleasantly surprised. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised you're
Commercial Narrator 2
on the Burt Show.
Bluff
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Bert
Refreshers contain caffeine.
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Episode Date: July 2, 2026
This Bert Show episode is a lively look into the cast’s energetic studio banter, full of behind-the-scenes moments, relatable mishaps, and listener-driven drama. The title’s central mystery—"Why did she show Melissa her underwear?"—quickly becomes a springboard for stories about on-air mishaps, green-themed shenanigans for St. Patrick's Day, and the all-too-real perils of confusing what’s on-air versus off-air. There's also a meaty update from Bert about his recent knee surgery and his son Hayden's budding acting career. Classic Bert Show humor, camaraderie, and authenticity are on display, making for a memorable listen.
If you missed this episode, you’ll want to tune in for the accidental overshares, epic medical updates, and the heartwarming story of Hayden’s on-camera debut. Through every tangent and tale, The Bert Show proves—again—why their honest, comedic, slightly chaotic approach endears them to listeners day after day.