Vault: Why He'll Never Forgive NCAA Basketball

Summary

The Bert Show — “Vault: Why He’ll Never Forgive NCAA Basketball” (July 8, 2026)

Episode Overview

This episode of The Bert Show taps into the frustration and comedy of NCAA March Madness bracket busts. Intern Brandon shares his long-standing “beef” with the NCAA basketball tournament after his meticulously researched bracket completely imploded—losing three out of four Final Four picks in the first weekend. The cast explores the agony of overthinking sports, the randomness of bracket success, and the eternal rivalry between “experts” and casual pickers. All is delivered in the show’s signature funny, relatable banter.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bracket Culture and Preparation

• Host 2 introduces Brandon’s devastation as a serious sports fan. The group acknowledges how culturally significant bracket pools are, from high school days to family traditions.

  • “So I imagine my fantasy here is that you’re one of these dudes, that before the tournament started...you did the research, dude.” — Host 2 [02:02]

• Brandon explains how much time he spends analyzing stats and picking brackets, emphasizing that in his circles it’s a major event.

  • “We take our brackets seriously where I come from.” — Brandon [02:22]

2. Bracket Bust: The Pain of the ‘Expert’

• Brandon admits his bracket was a spectacular failure despite all efforts:
  • “I’m in the 2% dial. I lost three of my final four teams on the first weekend.” — Brandon [03:00]
• The crew lightly teases him, questioning the value of all that research, highlighting the futility and randomness of the tournament.

3. The “Upset” Paradox—Logic vs. Luck

• Brandon and the group recount strategies people use, like picking based on team colors or mascots. Often, those with little sports knowledge outperform “experts” relying on hunches, stats, and gut feelings.
  • “The girls used to be like, ‘Oh, what color does Northern Iowa wear?...Let’s put purple through.’ And then they had a better bracket.” — Brandon [04:43–05:01]
• Host 2 shares a parallel story from a family football pool, where a friend with “no idea what the game is like” won just by picking teams with attractive quarterbacks or favorite colors.
  • “She ended up winning our tournament...$250. That’s awesome.” — Host 2 [05:20–05:31]

4. Male Ego, Overthinking & Acceptance

• Co-host 1 suggests perhaps guys “overthink” brackets, losing out to casual pickers who aren’t bogged down by stats and history.
  • “It may just mean, Brandon, that guys overthink this. You’re all too...You know the statistics...and you end up scratching yourself over.” — Co-host 1 [05:34–05:41]
• Brandon resists, citing “conventional wisdom” as saying sports knowledge should matter.
  • “Conventional wisdom says that you have...if you know sports, you should be able to win this.” — Brandon [05:41–05:47]
• Host 2 bluntly: “Throw it out the window, dude.” [05:47]

5. The “Jerome” Debate — Trivia & In-Jokes

• Brandon mentions a specific bracket term:
  • “Picking the 64 teams is called a Jerome. I don’t know why, but when you pick all the teams involved in the tournament, it’s called a Jerome.” — Brandon [05:48–05:54]
• The crew turns this into a joke, teasing him about his “Jerome” and nicknaming him “Jerome Mahogany.”
  • “You’re not Brandon anymore. Now you’re Jerome.” — Co-host 2 [06:36]
  • “You’re Jerome Mahogany, and you’re dancing at Swinging Richards.” — Co-host 2 [06:42]

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Bracket Busts and Random Success:
  • “I lost three of my Final Four teams on the first weekend.” — Brandon [03:03]
  • “If we were having this conversation three weeks ago...and he was saying Northern Iowa...we’d think he’s a hero right now.” — Co-host 2 [03:39–03:47]
• On the “Jerome”:
  • “So like me and Burt, it’s called a Jerome...My Jerome was pretty good.” — Brandon [05:55–06:10]
  • “That word doesn’t make your bracket better than Wendy’s, just so you know.” — Co-host 2 [06:06]
• Dry Sarcasm & Teasing:
  • “How’s your bracket doing, Brian?” — Co-host 1 [02:49]
  • “She says Duke. Well, Duke may not make it past tonight.” — Brandon [04:26]
  • “Wendy’s bracket is better than mom.” — Brandon [04:36]
• Meta Moment:
  • “You’re Jerome Mahogany, and you’re dancing at Swinging Richards.” — Co-host 2 [06:42]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Brandon’s Research & Bracket Build-Up: [02:00–03:06]
• Bracket Bust & Crew Teasing: [03:06–04:01]
• Luck vs. Skill/Color-picking Anecdotes: [04:41–05:34]
• Debate About Overthinking, “Jerome” Explained: [05:34–06:36]
• Nickname “Jerome Mahogany” Established: [06:36–06:46]

---

Tone & Takeaways

The episode exemplifies The Bert Show’s playful, self-deprecating humor and camaraderie. There’s a running theme of sports pain turned into comic gold, rooted in real-life experience and the universal frustration of trying to predict chaos. The show invites listeners to laugh at themselves and the randomness of brackets—and to remember that sometimes, knowing less is more.

If you’ve ever sweated over a bracket, this episode will leave you smiling at the futility, and maybe embracing the joy of picking by mascots and colors.

Transcript

[Host]

Okay, can we talk about how confusing weight loss has become? Like, one minute it's carbs are bad and then the next it's no, actually carbs are fine, but only if you walk 10,000 steps and drink a green juice. And honestly, it's just a lot. And then even if you do lose the weight, keeping it off is a whole different story. If you're struggling and want something that fits your real life, hers can help. It's designed to support you in reaching your goals in a way that actually fits your life. That's why weight loss by hers is getting so much attention right now. Hers connects you with licensed medical providers who create doctor developed treatment plans tailored to you. They offer access to an affordable range of FDA approved GLP1 medications, including the Wegovy pill and the Wegovy pen. It helps regulate your appetite so you eat less and keep the weight off. If you're ready to reach your goals and want to try something new, visit for hers.combert to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F O R h e r s.com Bert for hers.com Bert Weightliftsbyhurst is not available in all 50 states, but go via the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk A s to get started and learn more, including important safety information with Gobi clinical study information and restrictions, visit

[Ad Narrator 1]

borhears.com this episode sponsored by Mood okay, this is actually genius. Are you ever overwhelmed with choices at the dispensary? What if I told you that you could shop cannabis by the exact mood you want tonight? With Mood, you don't shop by strain names or confusion. You shop by how you want to feel. Want to relax after work, sleep better, feel more creative or be more social? Mood makes it simple. Pick the Feeling and and Mood recommends products to match. Mood has gummies, flour, pre rolls and edibles designed around your Mood. I tried Mood's sleepy gummies and within an hour I felt calm, settled and ready for bed. No dispensary run, no second guessing, just a smooth, relaxing experience delivered to my door. It's federally legal, third party tested and backed by a 100 day satisfaction guarantee. Go to mood mood.com that's m o o d.com however you want to feel tonight. Mood helps you get there.

[Host 2]

The Birch show all right, intern Brandon here, he's got some beef when it comes to the NCAA basketball tournament here. I understand his frustration, man, because I think Brandon, he's told us before, he's one of these hardcore sports fans, right? So I imagine my fantasy here is that you're one of these dudes that before the tournament started, I. I mean, you did the research, dude.

[Brandon]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I spent a whole lot of time studying game planning. We take our brackets seriously where I come from. You know, we do tournament bracket pools. I used to do them in high school. Even teachers used to get involved, and it's a big thing for all of us. And then it even started before the bracket. Cause Wendy came in here one day and she's like, yeah, just put all the number one seeds through the number one for a reason.

[Host 2]

Jacked up.

[Brandon]

And it's like, no, it's all about the upsets. Like, I knew Cornell was a good team. They have shooters, you know.

[Co-host 1]

How's your bracket doing there, Brian?

[Brandon]

Exactly. Okay. ESPN.com has their bracket tournament challenge.

[Co-host 2]

Melissa didn't ask if ESPN.com had a bracket tournament.

[Co-host 1]

Brandon, how's your. How's your bracket?

[Brandon]

I'm in the 2% dial.

[Co-host 3]

You are?

[Brandon]

I lost three. Three of my final four teams on the first weekend.

[Co-host 1]

Bummer.

[Host 2]

And you did all this research?

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, research worked.

[Ad Narrator 2]

Really?

[Host 2]

Yeah.

[Brandon]

Thanks a lot. Northern Iowa. Yeah.

[Host]

Who did you have in your Final Four?

[Brandon]

My Final Four consisted of Notre Dame.

[Host 2]

Notre Dame.

[Brandon]

Yeah. Nor Damn was dominant in the beginning of the season. Then Herringodi come, gets injured.

[Co-host 2]

Number one.

[Host 2]

You can't really justify it. They got eliminated.

[Co-host 2]

I know.

[Brandon]

I had Notre Dame, Kansas. Thanks. For Iowa. I kind of went homer and went. Put Florida State through.

[Host 2]

You knew Florida State wasn't going.

[Brandon]

Let me justify this.

[Co-host 2]

If we were having this conversation three weeks ago, and he was saying northern Iowa, and we say, who's your Final Four?

[Brandon]

Northern, Cornell, Butler, Xavier.

[Co-host 2]

We think he's a hero right now. Yeah.

[Brandon]

Florida State has size, and that's a. That's a problem for Syracuse. You saw that last night.

[Co-host 1]

You're. You're trying. You know what? You're defending.

[Ad Narrator 2]

Right.

[Co-host 1]

Yourself.

[Brandon]

I'm just saying, you saw the problem with 2%. They lack 2%.

[Co-host 2]

We got beat by some team. I can't.

[Brandon]

Gonzaga. Gonzaga. With the big Australian. I mean, they have four.

[Co-host 1]

You're being very defensive.

[Host 2]

I know.

[Brandon]

It hurts.

[Host 2]

These are conversations just like this are going on all over the country right now.

[Brandon]

And then.

[Co-host 1]

Who's your number four number?

[Brandon]

Number four?

[Host 2]

Kentucky.

[Co-host 1]

Kentucky.

[Brandon]

They're still in it.

[Co-host 1]

I still think so.

[Brandon]

Thank you, Drama.

[Co-host 2]

Have you taken a couple minutes to sit down next to Wendy and compare your 2 percentile bracket to hers?

[Host 2]

Ooh.

[Co-host 2]

Just put the number one.

[Brandon]

Yeah. She says Duke. Well, Duke may not make it past tonight.

[Co-host 1]

I hope look at Brandon.

[Host 2]

Well,

[Co-host 2]

you're not answering the questions that are being asked of you.

[Brandon]

Wendy has a. Yes, Wendy's bracket is better than Mom.

[Host 2]

This is his problem right here.

[Brandon]

This is my problem because it goes back to high school as well, when we all used to sit down in social studies class, not learn history and do bracket pools with a teacher. And the girls used to be like, oh, well, what color does, like, Northern Iowa wear? Oh, purple. Yeah, like purple. Let's put purple through.

[Co-host 1]

And then they had a better bracket.

[Brandon]

Not.

[Host 2]

Yeah, they do end up with a better bracket. This happened with our family. We have a football pool for the NFL playoffs. And our friend Aaron, who knows, has never sat down and. And watched one game of football, has no idea what the game is like. Right? She was asking us. All right, so the Vikings, what color are they? Yeah.

[Co-host 3]

Purple.

[Host 2]

They're purple. And is that. Who's the quarterback? Brett Favre. Oh, he's kind of cute. Okay, I'll put him through. And she ended up winning our tournament.

[Brandon]

Won the whole thing.

[Host 2]

$250.

[Co-host 2]

That's awesome.

[Brandon]

Ran the table.

[Co-host 1]

It may just mean, Brandon, that guys overthink this. You're all too. You know the statistics of everything, and you overthink and you end up, you know, scratching yourself over.

[Brandon]

No, it's not. Conventional wisdom says that you have. If you know sports, you should be able to win this.

[Host 2]

Throw it out the window, dude.

[Brandon]

But like, picking the 64 teams. Like, picking the 64 teams is called a Jerome.

[Co-host 1]

He's upset.

[Brandon]

So like me and Burt, it's called a Jerome. I don't know why, but when you pick all the teams involved in the tournament, it's called a Jerome. And like, I got my Jerome. Pretty. Jerome was pretty good making.

[Co-host 2]

You know, that word doesn't make your bracket better than Wendy's, just so you know.

[Brandon]

That is true. And it doesn't make me better than the girl who picked Cornell just because their nickname is the Big Red and she likes Big Red.

[Co-host 2]

So what you're saying is that Aaron. Aaron and Wendy. Aaron and Wendy, just so you're teaching in that word, so we can properly say that their Jerome is better than yours.

[Brandon]

No, their Jerome may not have been better than. Their bracket's better than mine, but my Jerome was flawless.

[Host]

My Jerome is beating your Jerome.

[Host 2]

I think that's actually. That is actually your new nickname, Brandon.

[Co-host 2]

You're not Brandon anymore now your Jerome.

[Brandon]

I have so many nicknames now.

[Host 2]

You're like a.

[Co-host 2]

You're Jerome Mahogany, and you're dancing at Swinging Richards.

[Ad Narrator 2]

The Burt Show Oregon Parks make an Oregon summer, But what makes an Oregon park? Well, Oregon Lottery Gameplay helps no matter the game. Megabucks, video lottery or Keno funds from lottery games help support parks projects across the state, ensuring they stay safe, accessible and open for all. In fact, Discover State Park Scratches are in stores now. It's the perfect way to put a little bit of Oregon's parks in your pocket. The Oregon Lottery Together we do good things. Must be 18 or older to play. Lottery games are based on chance and should be played for entertainment only.

[Co-host 3]

Oh, I have had no luck lately. Wait.

[Host]

Lady Luck Brickski I got you.

[Ad Narrator 3]

I've had so much luck on spinquest.com they have all of my favorite games, slot games, live blackjack craps and bubble craps. You can even get a $30 coin pack for just 10 bucks.

[Co-host 3]

10 bucks for 30. I'm headed over to spinquest.com, right now. Spinquest is a free to play social casino void where prohibited. Visit spinquest.com for more details.

[Ad Narrator 4]

Nobody does insurance like the Zebra. Because at the Zebra we're focused on finding you savings. Like Andrew. Hey there, a real human helping find the best price for you. And Tina, she runs partnerships that help

[Host]

unlock you better rates sending savings to you.

[Ad Narrator 4]

Everyone here is focused on one thing. Saving you money on car insurance. Find out how much you can save [e-mail] Savings will vary. Not all will save.