The Bert Show: Vault — Why Women Keep Their Enemies Close

Date: April 2, 2026
Episode Theme:
This episode of The Bert Show explores the complex reasons why some women maintain friendships with people they actively fear or dislike—often due to intimidation, group dynamics, and the desire to avoid drama or social fallout. The cast solicits input from listeners, sharing stories ranging from manipulative threats to deeply-rooted social loyalties.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Opening Scenario: The "Jen and Melissa" Hypothetical

• [00:00–03:05]
  • Hosts introduce the main theme: Do women sometimes keep "friends" out of fear—of reputation attacks, drama, or retaliation?
  • Story setup: Jen and Melissa connect via Wendy. Melissa grows wary of Jen’s “mean streak” but is too scared to cut her off, fearing social punishment or damaged reputation within their friend group.
  • Quote:
    • Host 2:
      “Your Melissa is too scared of Jen and what Jen might do to Melissa if Melissa cuts the relationship off entirely. So they remain friends and Melissa goes through the motions.” (01:13)
  • Hosts discuss distinctions:
    • Is it truly "fear," or just a wish to avoid drama?
    • Longevity and group history play a role ("length of time we’ve been friends").

Manipulation and Social Power

• [02:46–03:05]
  • Host 1 notes that dominant, controlling personalities can become group leaders, compelling others to remain friends to avoid group ostracism.
  • Quote:
    • Host 1:
      “If she's seen as like the leader of the group, then you might stay friends with that person because you know that everyone else will follow their lead even though you don't really like them.” (02:46)

Listener Stories: Real-Life Experiences

Michelle — The Workplace Secret

• [03:15–03:59]
  • Michelle, using voice disguise, shares she maintains a false friendship with an employee because she once confided sensitive workplace secrets. Firing her now could lead to blackmail or exposure.
  • Quote:
    • Michelle:
      “I really, she's a bad employee and she really needs to be fired. But I can't do that because I'm afraid she'll divulge the information that I gave her.” (03:43)

Jade — Enduring Blackmail

• [04:11–05:42]
  • Jade describes a “friend” of 14 years who threatens to expose her secrets if she doesn’t provide constant attention and favors, both in personal and intersecting work life.
  • Quote:
    • Jade:
      “If I don't let her babysit my kid at least once a week, ... then she has threatened to go to our bosses and tell them things about my past, things about what I do on the weekends, things about my living situation.” (04:27)
  • Hosts reflect on increased tolerance towards longtime friends and the reluctance to end stale relationships from youth.

Amanda — The Dorm Bully

• [05:44–06:56]
  • Amanda recounts the story of a controlling, intimidating dorm-mate who manipulated and scared the group, continuing to wield social power even after moving away.
  • Quote:
    • Amanda:
      “She had to be the leader of the pack, the center of attention. ... all the people in the dorm were scared of her, and I'm not even near her anymore—like, she’s in Alabama, and I’m still scared to unfriend her anything. Even on Facebook.” (05:48, 06:13)
  • Hosts compare these dynamics to "never leaving the seventh grade," drawing parallels to celebrity cliques.
  • Quote:
    • Host 2:
      “I could see this whole scenario playing out with that whole celebrity clique ... just hanging out with each other just because they're afraid of what they're gonna do to each other.” (07:04)

Sue — Blackmail Over Secrets

• [07:19–08:18]
  • Sue maintains a friendship with a vindictive woman who knows details about her extramarital affair, fearing exposure if she cuts ties.
  • Quote:
    • Sue:
      “I maintain a friendship with a wretched, horrible, horrible human being of a woman because she knows I cheated on my husband, and she will tell him because she's vindictive.” (07:21)
    • “If I don’t maintain contact with her, she’ll just assume that I’ve blown her off, and I’m afraid she’ll go off the deep end.” (08:14)

Reflections from the Hosts

Gender Differences in Handling Toxic Relationships

• [08:18–08:55]
  • Hosts discuss how men typically avoid such drama, opting out of relationships rather than maintaining false friendships.
  • Quotes:
    • Host 2:
      “Guys handle this kind of thing so differently. I just don't even think it processes for us. And we certainly wouldn't be vindictive to another dude.” (08:18)
    • Host 3:
      “I don't hang out with people I hate, you know. ... Maybe my laziness is an asset because I don't put up with this drama.” (08:34, 08:47)

Memorable Moments

• Host 1:
  "We never leave the seventh grade." (06:56)
• The show draws parallels between real life friendships and “Mean Girls”–style power plays.
• Candid admissions from callers about enduring long-term manipulation and blackmail.
• Host 3’s closing comedic self-awareness about simply being too lazy to maintain toxic or dramatic friendships.

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–03:05: Hypothetical scenario introduction and group discussion
• 03:15–03:59: Michelle's workplace blackmail story
• 04:11–05:42: Jade's decade-long manipulative friendship
• 05:44–06:56: Amanda's dorm story and group discussion on lingering fear
• 07:19–08:18: Sue's fear of exposure and forced friendship
• 08:18–08:55: Host reflections on gender differences and closing remarks

Summary

This episode thoughtfully and humorously dissects why women sometimes keep their “enemies” close, sharing stories of manipulation, social power, and fear-based loyalty. Through relatable anecdotes—including voice-disguised confessions—the show captures the complex, sometimes toxic web of female friendships and the real consequences (emotional, professional, and reputational) that cause people to stay in relationships they would otherwise end. The mix of hosts’ insights and listener calls makes for an engaging exploration of a rarely discussed social phenomenon.