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Host (possibly Bert)
Refreshers contain caffeine. The Burch show.
I told you guys yesterday. What did I say? I had a philosophical.
Melissa
That's how you put. How you explained it, that I would
Host (possibly Bert)
throw a philosophically awkward question at you guys today. Right.
Jen
Okay.
Host (possibly Bert)
All right.
Melissa
We missed you, too.
Host (possibly Bert)
What's that?
Melissa
We missed you, too. Awkwardness.
Host (possibly Bert)
Matthew Dwyer is in here. Matthew is the owner of Healthy Trim. Last week, when I was listening to the show and it was really in spurts, I mean, it wasn't a whole bunch. And I was on painkillers. When I was listening the morning after, Tiger woods maybe had his first interview. No. What one was it? Why did you guys start talking? Oh, no, no. It was the announcement. It was the announcement of him playing at Augusta. You guys started a debate on if you could get passes to Augusta to see Tiger woods, would you even use those passes? And you started the debate and then you stopped and at least listening for those. Those. It felt to me like I could see Melissa's eyes roll as to say that she would not take the tickets. Whereas Jeff sounded excited about it. And Jen, you seemed on the fence.
Jen
Well, Jeff was asking if he should spend the money to do it.
Melissa
Yeah, because my thought is, because this year it's Tigers comeback, you already got to buy your passes to go to Augusta national, you know, and they're already. I mean, you can't even go to a playing round for less than a grand.
Host (possibly Bert)
Right.
Melissa
So if you're going to go this year, those are gonna be two and three times that. Which. That's a ridiculous amount of money. Right.
Oregon Lottery Announcer
Timing.
Host (possibly Bert)
Yeah.
Melissa
Right. So I think Melissa's argument was, it's not worth it. To go, why would you spend that kind of money to see a cheater? My thing is, it's not like the money's going to him. And if you do want to have that once in a lifetime experience, you might as well have it on Tiger's comeback.
Jen
And I was just being antagonistic, saying, what if he wins?
Melissa
Yeah, you got it.
Jen
Then you would really want to be there.
Host (possibly Bert)
You want that sort of under your bragging belt.
Melissa
No. Jen thinks it's funny if I miss three mortgage payments. That's what Jen's.
Host (possibly Bert)
So it was really more the money issue. It was. If you were gonna spend money on the tickets specifically for Tiger, Is this the year?
Melissa
Is it. Is it.
Jen
Is it worth it?
Melissa
If you're making it philosophical, is it bad to spend extra money on an event that is featuring somebody who could be morally bankrupt?
Host (possibly Bert)
So if the tickets. Nat, you need to turn his mic on. Go ahead, Matthew.
Well, on the street now, they're. They're the highest I heard last night because of Tiger's comeback. They're going for, like, four grand.
Yeah. In the sports world, this is monumental.
Melissa
Yeah.
Host (possibly Bert)
I mean, this is the one you want to be at. This is the one that people will be talking about for generations and generations and generations. So the question I was going to pose to you guys today is if you had Masters tickets, would you take them, which Matthew has and is willing to offer up to you guys?
Melissa
Yeah, I take them.
Jen
You do?
Oregon Lottery Announcer
I would take them.
Katie
No, I stand by what I said.
Host (possibly Bert)
I will not take them.
Katie
No, I will not take them.
Oregon Lottery Announcer
I would.
Katie
Katie's screaming at me probably right now, but, no, I mean, because. Yeah, I, you know, because I've talked before when we talked about Michael Vick, like one of those. If I had a Michael Vick jersey at the time all these things came out that I did not personally agree with on what he did. I would get rid of the jersey, and I would not purposely go try to see a game just because of him. And if I was a golf fan, if I went to the Masters every year, if I went to tournaments here in Atlanta every year, and going to the Masters was something I consistently would do, then, sure. But if I went, it would only be because of the hype around Tiger, and I just don't agree with him and don't like him, So I wouldn't go.
Melissa
Now, here's what I think the difference is, because I hear your Michael Vick argument, and I think it's similar to, like, your R. Kelly argument or your Chris Brown argument. If you have an issue with someone, then you don't do anything to support them.
Katie
Right.
Melissa
All Masters tickets are privately owned. If they sell out Augusta National, Tiger doesn't get a bonus. He doesn't get more money. You're not lining his pocket.
Katie
It's like the jersey. I mean, the jersey benefits the company from Michael Vick.
Melissa
But Michael Vick got money for Jersey.
Host (possibly Bert)
See, it's almost the event, too. To me, your argument says I wouldn't go to see the Eagles in the super bowl because Michael Vick is part of their team. Even though the super bowl is the event itself. That is memorable, like just being at Augusta.
Jen
But you know where she's coming from.
Katie
I mean, come on. I mean, everybody understand her philosophy. Everybody benefits from the hype around Tiger. So, I mean, you're rewarding a company that's supporting Tiger. You're awarding these people that support these people that I. It's a personal decision. I mean, and everything is relative. You can't just section one thing off from the other. So, yeah, the only reason I'd be going to the Masters because the hype around Tiger. No, thank you, Bert.
Melissa
You've. Hold on.
Host (possibly Bert)
You've clearly been to Augusta. Have you ever seen the grounds?
Katie
No, but I could go. I could do it next year or I could have done it last year.
Host (possibly Bert)
So Matthew has these amazing connections down at Augusta. He's the guy that, that brought me down to Augusta to play last year. And he plays down there like it's a miniature golf course up here. I mean, he just plays all plays all the time. And he's got a bunch of hoity toity friends that are members down there also. So if he wants tickets to Augusta, he gets them. And he heard you guys sort of debating about this the other day, and I'm like, well, let's see. You know, who'll take the bait on the air? I said, I said, when presented with those tickets, Melissa will take them.
Katie
It's more. I mean, I'd be a hypocrite. I've been on air consistently criticizing the man. I've been on air consistently telling Elon.
Melissa
But you're not benefiting him at all.
Jen
I don't see how there's a very strong connection.
Host (possibly Bert)
Do you like golf at all?
Katie
I'm not the biggest golf fan, I gotta be honest.
Host (possibly Bert)
Do you like a beautiful landscape with flowers blooming and probably the most unbelievable stage of landscape?
Katie
You can show me that on non Masters weekend. I can go to. I can go to Augusta and check out the golf course with you.
Host (possibly Bert)
No, you can't. No, it's actually too difficult to do that.
Katie
I guess I'm gonna miss it.
Host (possibly Bert)
It's easier to get on Augusta during the tournament than it is outside the tournament.
Jen
Yeah.
Host (possibly Bert)
You're only allowed. Here's the deal. You're only allowed. A member is only allowed to have three guests at one time on the premises.
Jen
And you can't just go there.
Host (possibly Bert)
No, you cannot just go there.
Jen
You can't just show up.
Host (possibly Bert)
If you're a member, you can show up at any time.
Remember, you can show up anytime.
Jen
Yeah, but there's very, very few members, and it's very, you know, rare to be invited by a member. I mean, it is the most exclusive experience in sports.
Host (possibly Bert)
Right?
Jen
It really is. I mean, maybe not for Matthew, but.
Host (possibly Bert)
No, it is for the rest of the world.
Jen
It definitely is.
Host (possibly Bert)
It is definitely an unbelievable, very unique, very special experience. Let's step it up a little bit for Melissa.
Melissa
Let me give the phone number out, by the way, if you want to weigh on our. I think I can weigh in on Melissa's master debate. We are at 404-741-Q100.
Katie
I want to say that you were
Host (possibly Bert)
waiting the entire conversation before we even move on. I don't know where Jen stands on it.
She said she's in.
Melissa
Yeah, she would go.
McDonald's Advertiser
Right.
Jen
My dad is such a big golf fan. I would have to get the tickets and take my dad.
Host (possibly Bert)
It'd be one pass, though.
Jen
I would give it to my dad.
Host (possibly Bert)
You would?
Jen
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, he's a lifelong golfer. You know, he's been to Augusta national one time, was able to play one time, and it was really, like, the highlight of his golf experience, of his life. And so I think, you know, my dad and I have had plenty of discussions about Tiger. I think he would scoff it off, but still, at the same time, like, he would be there to see everybody else in the tournament. You know what I mean? I think it would. It goes beyond Tiger for my dad to be able to go to the Masters and experience that.
Host (possibly Bert)
Here's what I think. I think that this year there will be more people to watch Tiger.
Oh, sure. The gallery is going to be crazy, and it's.
Melissa
It's going to be everybody who do.
Jen
They allow more people in for the tournament because there's only X number of people that.
Host (possibly Bert)
That are allowed in, period. But if you want to be crammed around a certain hole, you know, sometimes it's very, very difficult to see him. But I think that. I think he's going to come back, I think he's going to either do extremely well and win it, or he may miss the cut. Who knows? We'll see. This is the first time I really
Jen
hope he doesn't win it.
Host (possibly Bert)
It may be different this year in that you could get closer to him in past years, because I think they're going to be very, very careful about how close they allow people to get to Tiger woods this year.
Melissa
But everything you're talking about is irrelevant.
Jen
Okay?
Melissa
It's just being at Augusta National.
Host (possibly Bert)
You don't have to see Tiger if
Melissa
you don't want him back. And you're going to have there. I'm not the only. I know I'm not the only one because I've had this conversation with other people who've always had it on their radar. Oh, I live in Atlanta. I live in Georgia. You got to go to Augusta national, like Jen. It would be great to have. I've never been, you know, for my dad to experience it. Like, I have friends who would buy me beers and lunch for the rest of their lives, you know, type of thing. Like, everybody. It's on everybody's radar to go to it. But this year, this is the only year that this is gonna be this. So there's gonna be a.
Host (possibly Bert)
It's the added bonus.
Melissa
The ticket demand is gonna be unreal.
Host (possibly Bert)
What was your. What was your addition to raising the stakes here?
Well, I don't know. We could maybe. I'd have to check with a couple of friends, but I think that it's possible that I could maybe get a couple of clubhouse badges and get in the clubhouse and maybe have a drink with Bill Gates or something.
Katie
That would be fantastic if I could give it to Jen's dad.
Host (possibly Bert)
I mean, really, even to go to the clubhouse standing strong.
Katie
I mean, like I said, if I. If I can. Efforts to go to Augusta. Throughout my adult life since moving to Atlanta, not one year have I ever tried to go to Augusta. Not one year have I ever tried to connect contacts here at the station. You know, never once. And so why this time when Tiger's gonna be there? No, no, thank you. I appreciate the offer, but no, thank you.
Melissa
You guys wanna take bets on how long it takes Katie Jo to move out? I'm guessing she's already putting the boxes together and taping the bottoms.
Katie
It's fortunate that one of her best friends lives in Augusta, so she's had an experience that I haven't had. And so I. Yeah, clubhouse passes. But this is for one, right, Matthew? It's for One person. Right, Bert? So it wouldn't be for Katie Jo. It would be for Amy.
Host (possibly Bert)
I'm getting all angry, dude.
Katie
I'm just saying. No, I'm just saying.
Host (possibly Bert)
I think I could work it out
Katie
that you try to get me angry.
Host (possibly Bert)
I think I could work it out that you and your friend could come
Katie
into the park if I gave it to Katie, if I could give it to Jen's dad, if I could give it to Wendy, who could never. I mean, if I could give it to somebody that really wants to go, but I honestly.
Host (possibly Bert)
They can only go if you go.
Katie
I think it is a disgrace. Listen. I think it's a disgrace to the sport of golf for people who have never been able to go because they've never had the contacts, they've never had the riches, they've never had the opportunity to be able to go. And then for me, who's not a big golf fan, who's not a Tiger fan at all, to end up going to Augusta and keeping them from being able to have that opportunity.
Host (possibly Bert)
My wife's not a golf fan, but when, you know, she walked out there, she was like, oh, my gosh, this place is so beautiful. It really, really, really is. Hey, I hear you. It's your beach.
Melissa
Hey, Rosemary. Welcome to the Bird Show.
Caller 1
Hi.
Melissa
What's going on?
Caller 1
I'm just gonna weigh in on Melissa's argument. I understand where she's coming from. She doesn't want to support Tiger because she doesn agree with, like, the moral standings of Tiger. And I'm not a big golf fan either. But I'm just saying, you could go and still support the other golf players. Like, I know there's one that has a wife that's battling cancer, so you could dress head to toe in pink
Katie
to support her, which would be fine. I just know that when I get back to Atlanta, if I went to the Masters, I went to Augusta, these guys would be like, well, why did you support Tigers?
Host (possibly Bert)
She's not getting that.
Melissa
No, you're supporting.
Katie
When I come back, I will get that. So, I mean, it's.
Host (possibly Bert)
Yeah, it's right now, when I turn on my phone, when I get out of here, all my family members are. Don't give them to. Quit trying to give them to Melissa. Give them to me.
Melissa
Hey, Amanda. Welcome, Amanda. Welcome to the Bird Show.
Caller 1
Hello.
Melissa
Hello.
Caller 1
I am completely against Melissa. I would die to be offered one ticket or two tickets to see it. And people were gonna sell out. The Masters were going to sell out whether Tiger was there this year or not. The only Thing that's going to change is that more people are going to watch the Masters on T than they would have if Tiger wasn't there.
Katie
Now, would you die to go, even if this was not the big event of the year? Tigers return.
Caller 1
I would love to go. I mean, it's like I've lived in Atlanta all my life and my parents used to go to the practice rounds, but just, I would kill the go any day of the week, Wednesday through Sunday, just to see that course. Because the greens are like, you want to roll around in them and you want to pick the flowers off.
Melissa
I mean, yeah, let me know how that goes.
Host (possibly Bert)
The thing is, I mean, if you get to go to the tournament, you will. You will tell your friends about that for the rest of your life. It doesn't matter if Tiger was part of it or not. This is just the added bonus because the story doesn't change at all. You're always going to brag about being at Augusta, only you'll say, I was there and I happen to be there the year that Tiger came in.
Melissa
Just for the record, even if I don't go, I'm still telling people, yeah, I was there that year.
Jen
I'm curious. I'm curious how Augusta and the Masters whole franchise feels about Tiger woods because he has put a blemish on the game of golf. I mean, this, these really pretty nasty, trashy stories have come out about him over the last six months, whatever. And this is a classy game, and this is the classiest tournament of all the games. And I've heard from a couple of people who feel like Tiger's ruining the Masters.
Host (possibly Bert)
Well, it's going to be, they say, the highest viewed viewed Masters ever. And I don't doubt that.
Jen
I'm just saying I wonder with the classy nature of the people running this kind of an event and running this course, if they're a little miffed at him.
Host (possibly Bert)
Golf needs Tiger Woods. Yeah, they need.
Melissa
You're not miffed at the person who signs your paycheck, no matter how frustrated you might get at them from time to time.
Host (possibly Bert)
I haven't watched one stroke of golf since Tiger has been gone. Not one stroke. And the Tour knows that, that they need Tiger Woods.
So do you think they would, do you think they would have, like, do you think they're just going to, like, kind of wait till the last minute to allow them on the grounds? Or do you think like, they'd have them on and play this week or something?
Jen
No, they are. I mean, Melissa already had. Who already Told us. You already said it.
Melissa
I think that ESPN interview was from Augusta.
Jen
Yeah, he's already been there.
Melissa
Yeah. So he's there.
Host (possibly Bert)
Matthew knows the answer to that.
Caller 1
Yeah.
Host (possibly Bert)
He played 36 yesterday.
Matthew played behind him yesterday.
Jen
Wow.
Katie
Oh, that's awesome.
Host (possibly Bert)
So he's down there practicing already.
Caller 1
That's really neat.
Host (possibly Bert)
He. He couldn't have been nicer. He was a little chilly yesterday, but. Yeah, he. He looks like he's. He must be taking the healthy plex or something. He's bulked up a little bit.
He's been in, like, solitary confinement for the last couple of months, so maybe all he's doing is working out.
Yeah, he's. He's ripped. He. He didn't hit the ball that great on the first 18, but I never. He never lost his temper once. His short game is there and, you know, we'll see. But he played 36 yesterday. Played right behind him. It was pretty neat.
I want to hit the ball like Tiger woods hits it on his very worst day.
Melissa
Right.
Host (possibly Bert)
You know?
Melissa
Hey, Eric, you'll be our very last phone call. All right, Matt.
Host (possibly Bert)
If you can just call me Melissa,
Caller 1
I'll take the tickets and go rolling, Tom.
Host (possibly Bert)
All right. So, Jen, you said that you're in?
Jen
Yeah, I would be in. To take my dad or to give the tickets to my dad.
Host (possibly Bert)
Jeff.
Jen
Not for me.
Melissa
In a heartbeat.
Host (possibly Bert)
And, Melissa. No, no, thanks. Thanks. Thanks.
Melissa
What if I gave you tickets to an R. Kelly concert as an added bonus? Chris Brown.
Host (possibly Bert)
And she took those, didn't she? She took the R. Kelly ones and one.
Jen
Whatever. Bert, I'm assuming your answer.
Host (possibly Bert)
I. I would go, but I can't. I can't hobble around Augusta, and by August 8th, I won't be ready to off crutches.
Jen
It's all hypothetical, right?
Host (possibly Bert)
Doesn't have to be.
What do you mean? What's all hypothetical?
The tickets.
Jen
Yeah.
Host (possibly Bert)
Tickets. You got them.
Jen
No way.
Host (possibly Bert)
Yes.
Saturday.
This is a real.
My family's gonna kill me because they're gonna be like, you're giving. Yes. You got them for Saturday.
Caller 1
Awesome.
Jen
Really?
Host (possibly Bert)
I'm gonna give you my badges for Saturday.
Jen
Seriously?
Melissa
Like, I don't know anything about. Don't look at me.
Jen
Somebody pinched me right now. Is this real? I thought we were having a hypothetical conversation.
Host (possibly Bert)
Philosophical. This is a real. This is a real deal.
It's a real deal. I'm gonna give up my badges for you, Jen. And for you, Jeff. Yes.
Jen
And you're not going.
Host (possibly Bert)
I'm not going.
Jen
Hell, yeah.
Host (possibly Bert)
Are you more excited that I'm not going? Because that's what it sounded like.
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Episode Title: Vault: Will The Bert Show go to The Masters?
Date: July 6, 2026
This episode dives into a lively philosophical and ethical debate among The Bert Show cast: If offered the rare chance to attend The Masters at Augusta National—especially during Tiger Woods’ highly anticipated comeback—would you take the tickets? The conversation explores motivations (whether it’s for the love of the sport, the iconic venue, or the spectacle of Tiger's return), the cost, personal values, and past controversies surrounding sports figures. The team also takes calls from listeners, further expanding on the notion of once-in-a-lifetime experiences versus moral stances.
| Person | Would Attend? | Reason | |------------|----------------------------------------|----------------------------------------------------------------------| | Melissa | Yes | Unique experience; not directly supporting Tiger | | Jen | Yes (for her dad) | Lifelong memory for her father, not just about Tiger | | Katie | No | Ethical opposition; thinks others more deserving should go | | Host | Would go (if not injured) | Believes the experience supersedes the controversy | | Matthew | (Provider of tickets) | N/A | | Listeners | Most would attend, especially for the venue’s prestige |
The Bert Show uses the Masters ticket debate to unpack broader questions about fandom, values, and what makes an experience truly unmissable, especially when the star attraction is a polarizing figure. Through friendly banter and thoughtful arguments, listeners are invited to consider where they'd land when once-in-a-lifetime clashes with personal beliefs.