Vault: Women Who Only Date Married Men Reveal Exactly Why They Do It

Summary

Podcast Summary:

The Bert Show – Vault: Women Who Only Date Married Men Reveal Exactly Why They Do It
April 14, 2026

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Episode Overview

This unique and provocative episode centers on a candid conversation with a woman who openly admits she exclusively dates married men. The Bert Show hosts and callers explore her motivations, the mechanics of these relationships, and the underlying issues of fidelity and trust. The exchange is frank, occasionally contentious, and offers deep insights into the complexities of infidelity from both the outsider’s and insider’s perspectives.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Caller Introduction: Dating Married Men by Choice

• [01:47] A female caller, using a voice disguiser, reveals her preference for dating only married men and discusses the origins of this choice:
  • "Yes, I only date married men and actually I have a child by a married man. And that's just all that I care to date because I feel like, I don't know, it's more of a challenge to me." (Caller, 01:47)
  • She sees these relationships as a challenge—to uncover what makes a particular man desirable to his wife.
• She denies wanting to “take the men away” from their wives. Instead, once she discovers the appealing quality, she moves on.

2. Why Married Men?

• [02:40] The caller claims to value qualities like “loyalty...really good friendship, companionship, people that make you laugh, people that can comfort you.”
• Challenged by hosts, she asserts that, although the men are unfaithful to their wives, she perceives them as loyal to her when they’re together:
  • "I know that he is not being faithful to his wife when he is with me, but I feel like he's being faithful to me." (Caller, 02:58)

3. The Emotional Dynamics and Boundaries

• [03:34] The caller expresses a lack of possessiveness—if she discovered a married partner was seeing another woman, “No, I would just move on.”
• Pregnancy & Family: She openly shares that her child knows who his father is, but has never met him. The child is unaware the men his mother dates are married. (04:41)
• She did inform the wife of her child’s father due to his denial and her need for truth (04:07), but only did this once.

4. How Does She Meet Married Men?

• [05:13] The caller meets married men in daily life: “Police officers, there’s just different ways you can meet them.” She mainly approaches men who wear wedding rings.

5. Numbers and the Impact on Marriages

• [05:53] Out of approximately 15 married men dated over 15 years, “probably only a couple have [been caught by their wives].”

6. Advice: ‘Affair-Proofing’ a Marriage

• [06:18] The caller asserts:
  • “I believe it comes down to the bedroom. Most men aren't getting satisfied in the bedroom and they feel like they need to get that and they go somewhere else.”
  • Host Bert summarizes:
    • "We've asked the question, look, if everything else is going wrong in your relationship but your sex life is good, will you cheat... and 90% of the guys said, so long as the sex is good, I'm sticking around." (Host 1, 06:26)
• This ignites discussion on the simplistic view of male satisfaction versus emotional complexity in women.

7. Would She Ever Marry a Married Man?

• [07:42] She adamantly states:
  • “I would never make someone divorce their wife and marry them, because I would know that he's probably going to do that again to me.” (Caller, 07:42)

8. Motivation: The ‘Challenge’ Factor

• Although she acknowledges that single men may possess desirable qualities, she is drawn to married men for the “challenge” of finding those traits someone else chose. (05:33, 08:23)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Loyalty:
  • "Loyalty is one... Just really good friendship, companionship, people that make you laugh, people that can comfort you." (Caller, 02:40)
• On Cheating:
  • "If you're not having sex, then he's having sex with someone else... He is getting it somewhere else." (Caller, 06:54/06:58)
• On Calling a Spouse:
  • "He didn't want to admit that it was his child... So called and told her, if he just would have given you the cash to take care of the baby, would you have gone to his wife? Probably." (Caller, 03:55–04:14)
• On Marrying a Cheater:
  • "I would never make someone divorce their wife and marry them because I would know that he's probably going to do that again to me." (Caller, 07:42)
• Host Commendation:
  • "You are a fascinating creature." (Host 1, 08:31)
  • "She called up and, yeah, opened up because I think there's so many other women out there that were too chicken to call us up." (Host 3, 08:33)

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Important Timestamps & Segments

| Timestamp | Segment & Content | | --------- | ----------------- | | 01:33 | Host introduces the topic and first caller | | 01:47 | Caller discusses motivation and approach to dating married men | | 02:40 | Caller lists qualities she finds in married men | | 03:34 | Caller on emotional boundaries and reactions to infidelity | | 03:49 | Discussion of pregnancy by a married man and disclosure to his wife | | 04:37 | Caller discusses her son's awareness of his father | | 05:13 | How the caller meets and targets married men | | 05:53 | Number of married men and incidents of discovery by wives | | 06:18 | "Affair proof" advice—sex as the key to male fidelity | | 07:42 | Caller rules out marrying a man who would leave his wife | | 09:08 | Second caller (Mary) offers emotional reaction as the child of a cheated-on spouse |

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Second Caller: The Emotional Toll

Caller Mary Responds [09:08]

• Shares her perspective as the daughter of a cheating father:
  • “It honestly just makes me sick how they can be that selfish. ... My dad is cheating on my mom, and they have no idea what they're doing to these families.” (Mary, 09:11)
  • She expresses disillusionment with the institution of marriage as a result.

Broader Reflections

• Hosts and callers reflect on trust in relationships, acknowledging that while “it goes both ways,” many women fear or expect male infidelity.

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Tone & Style

The tone is frank, fast-paced, and laced with the show’s characteristic humor and authenticity. The main caller comes across as unapologetic and matter-of-fact, while hosts probe with curiosity, skepticism, and moments of empathy for affected families.

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Conclusion

This episode offers a rare, unfiltered look into the mindset of “the other woman” and how she rationalizes her choices. It also surfaces deep anxieties around fidelity, trust, and the durability of marriage, not only from the perspectives of those involved in affairs, but also from the voices of the families hurt by them. Listeners leave with no simple answers—only a complex portrait of human relationships and desires.

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Transcript

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[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

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[Host 1]

So the question comes up is we wanted to find somebody that would admit that they only date married guys. It took us a while to find it. I think we got it. Good morning. Q100.

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Hello.

[Host 1]

Hello. You're on the voice disguiser.

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Thank you. Yes, I only date married men and actually I have a child by a married man. And that's just all that I care to date because I feel like, I don't know, it's more of a challenge to me because there must be something in that man that someone likes that attracted them to that man. And it's like a challenge to me to try and find what that quality is. Whoa, are you trying to take him away? No, I don't want to take him away. I don't want to do that. Once I find out what it is and what is so attractive about them, I kind of move on to the next one.

[Host 2]

So you get a man, you get him to fall in love with you, you fall in love with him, you Realize that the big quality is anything but loyalty, and then you, like, cut him loose. Okay, I'm bored with this.

[Host 3]

What qualities? Like, for instance, what qualities have you found in some of these men?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

I know you won't believe it, but loyalty is one. Just really good friendship, companionship, people that make you laugh, people that can comfort you.

[Host 1]

Let's focus on that first one.

[Host 2]

Yes.

[Host 1]

How can that be, like, a major quality for you if it's obvious, the

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

way that they make you feel when you're with them? I know that he is not being faithful to his wife when he is with me, but I feel like he's being faithful to me.

[Host 1]

So do you think he's capable. These guys that you date, are they capable of dating somebody behind your back?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Probably so. But I don't. I don't necessarily. If I don't know about it, then it doesn't bother me.

[Host 2]

Would that make you mad if you found out that a guy that you were exclusive with, a married man that you were dating exclusively, had a second girlfriend that you didn't know about and you discovered that would not make you mad at all?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

No, I would just move on.

[Host 1]

Does the wife of the married guy that impregnated you know that you had his. Oh, you did?

[Host 4]

Why are they still married?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Yes.

[Host 2]

Why did you tell her?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Because he was in denial about it and he didn't want to admit that it was his child. And I felt like the truth needed to be told. And we had DNA testing and it is his child. And I just felt like she needed to know what she was dealing with. So called and told her, if he

[Host 1]

just would have given you, like, the cash to take care of the baby, would you have gone to his wife?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Probably. So do you go to all the wives? No, just that one.

[Host 4]

Did you intentionally try to get pregnant?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

No, it was an accident.

[Host 4]

Well, I mean, it's not really an accident, right?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Well, no, I guess not, but it happened. And now I have a child who's, you know, in high school and. You know what?

[Host 4]

Does your child know who Daddy is?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

I'm sorry?

[Host 4]

Does your child know who Daddy is?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Yes, he does know who he is, but he's never met him and does. He refuses to have anything to do with him.

[Host 2]

Does your child know how you live your life?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Not really. He doesn't know that they're married, and I don't. It's not like I bring a different guy home all the time. It's, you know, I may date a guy for six months and then. Or a year and Then move on.

[Host 2]

And you introduce these married men to your children? Child.

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Well, it's. He doesn't know that they're married. I'm just, you know, and it's not anything like every week there's a different man at the house. I very rarely bring men over to my home.

[Host 3]

I'm curious, if you only date married men, how do you find them?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Different ways. I mean, police officers, there's just different. Different ways you can meet them.

[Host 3]

You just. You just see that they're. They have a wedding ring on or like, I'm curious on. How do you determine. Okay, he's married. I'm going to continue to talk to him.

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

They were rings. Yeah. So no single guys have the qualities that a married guy has? No, they probably do, but it's not a challenge to me because, you know, if I can find out what quality that married man has that, you know, someone was attracted to, I want to find out what that is.

[Host 1]

How many of these married guys that you date inevitably end up getting caught by their wives?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

I would say probably only a couple have, and that's been over about 15 years.

[Host 2]

Out of how many have you dated, would you say over the past decade and a half?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Oh, gosh, probably. I would say 15.

[Host 3]

Okay.

[Host 4]

For women who are listening right now, who are married, how do they affair? Affair, proof their marriage, how do they make sure you don't get to their husband?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

I believe it comes down to the bedroom. Most men aren't getting satisfied in the bedroom and they feel like they need to get that and they go somewhere else.

[Host 1]

Look, that's that. And what she said there is really important. We've talked about this before. We've had guys on and we asked the question, look, if everything else is going wrong in your relationship but your sex life is good, will you cheat on your girlfriend or your wife? And 90% of the guys said, so long as the sex is good, I'm sticking around. Must be so scary for a woman to hear who is so much more emotionally complex than that, you know, like, that it all boils down to sex in the bed.

[Host 3]

Because I'm curious.

[Host 2]

Doing it, as long as you're doing it good.

[Host 4]

If you're not having sex, then he's having sex with someone else.

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

He is getting it somewhere else.

[Host 3]

Do you think?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Not because he's tired. It's not because he's not in the mood. It's not because he has a headache. It's because he is getting it somewhere else. And it is good. It's better than it is with you, that is why you're not getting.

[Host 3]

I'm just curious, like, for guys who have had women cheat on them, is it the same reason for women? And I would probably think not.

[Host 1]

No, I think you hear most emotional, and I hear a lot of women say, well, you know, I put up with his stuff so much that now was the time, you know, it inevitably was going to happen. And they sort of justified in their minds of saying it seems like I took all that crap. Yeah.

[Host 2]

Do you hope to ever marry one of these guys?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

I wouldn't marry someone who was currently married.

[Host 2]

I mean, you know, obviously, but I

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

mean, where I, you know, want to change what I do, and I may want to find someone that's single, but no, I would never. I would never make someone divorce their wife and marry them because I would know that he's probably going to do that again to me. So I would not do that.

[Host 1]

This is a sort of. This is sort of a complex question here, and I'm not really sure that you can answer it. Are you saying that these dudes mostly fell to you because they weren't getting any sex or the sex that they were getting was just bad and boring?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Probably just bad and boring. That's monotonous.

[Host 3]

I think it's funny how you say that you wouldn't marry a guy who is married and divorce his wife for you because he would do it to you, but yet the reason you're attracted to him is because you think they have better qualities than the single guys.

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Better qualities. It's just a challenge to find out what the qualities are that some woman in particular was attracted to him about.

[Sponsor Announcer]

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[Host 3]

All right.

[Host 1]

You are a fascinating creature.

[Host 3]

She called up and, yeah, opened up because I think there's so many other women out there that were too chicken to call us up. So at least I commend you for calling and being open with us.

[Host 1]

And I think, I mean, if you were listening closely, you got something out of there. I mean, she's telling you, if you want to really protect your relationship, it. Unfortunately, with guys, it boils down to sex, you know. All right, thanks for calling.

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

All right. All right. Bye.

[Host 3]

Bye. And I'm fascinated. I call people chicken. I did it twice. I called a woman chicken. Like, am I?

[Host 1]

Well, you didn't call her yeller.

[Host 3]

Yeah, Yellow chicken. Stupid.

[Host 1]

Hey, Mary, Good morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

Hey, good morning, guys. How are you?

[Sponsor Announcer]

Good.

[Host 1]

How are you?

[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

I just wanted to call because I hear these women calling who only date married men, and it honestly just Makes me sick how they can be that selfish. Because I'm 25 years old and my dad is cheating on my mom, and they have no idea what they're doing to these families. And I don't care if they date married men with children or not. It's just disgusting. It makes me not want to get married. It makes me not believe in marriage. It's. Ugh.

[Host 3]

Well, I think it gives a bad. I think so many of the conversations we have on air because I don't date men. So from the outside looking in, I find that it gives guys such a bad name, you know? Like, I feel like if I was straight that I would be really. I don't know if I would be able to trust men. And so I. You know, and I think that.

[Host 1]

I mean, based on this show, you

[Host 3]

know, I mean, I'm serious.

[SpinQuest Announcer]

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[Host 1]

Let's go both ways.

[Host 3]

I don't think so. I mean, it goes. It goes both ways. But I think that in general, I think that there are so many women who don't trust men because they think all men cheat.

[Host 1]

Well, and then, I mean, we could always do this. We've done this before where there are some women that are like, I know he's gonna cheat, so I'll just. That's just part of a guy's nature. So I just put up with it

[Sponsor Announcer]

because I know it's just I couldn't live without.

[Host 1]

Listen, it's the vert show.

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[Caller Who Dates Married Men]

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