Vault: Would Melissa be good with kids?

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bert Show — "Vault: Would Melissa be good with kids?"

Episode Date: July 10, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this candid and heartfelt episode, the Bert Show crew opens the vault for a deeply personal conversation with longtime cast member Melissa Carter. The main theme centers on Melissa’s journey with IVF, her feelings about motherhood, and whether she believes she’ll be good with kids—an honest exploration shaped by her upbringing, her relationship with her partner Katie, and the emotional complexity of fertility treatments. The discussion touches on societal expectations, intimate partner dynamics, and how one’s past and personality inform the future possibility of parenthood.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Melissa’s IVF Journey: The Emotional and Practical Realities

• Background: Melissa shares her experience starting IVF, the process of freezing embryos, and all the hurdles involved—both logistical and emotional.
• The Process: She details the lengthy timeline, counseling (emotional and financial), hormone treatments, and the emotional toll on herself and others in similar situations.
  • Quote (Melissa, 03:07): “There’s so much heartache that goes along with the celebrations... just the environment I’ve been a part of, there's so much heartache that goes along with the celebrations. We've had friends that we've discovered since then that have gone through IVF that we did not realize was going through unsuccessful IVF treatments.”
• Cautious Joy: Melissa emphasizes the need to celebrate progress by stages, wary of possible disappointment and shaped by witnessing the struggles of others.
  • Quote (Melissa, 03:33): “I’m trying not to be too excited too soon because I’m celebrating the success of the eggs.”

2. Melissa’s Relationship with Children (and Why She’s Seen as Reserved)

• Growing Up: Melissa explains she’s the youngest in her family and didn’t grow up around children, leading to her natural awkwardness—she’s not the one to “run up and hug kids.”
  • Quote (Melissa, 02:17): “I was the youngest by far, so I don’t have nieces and nephews... I’m not the one that runs up to them and picks them up and hugs them and kisses them, but I don’t necessarily think that would make me a bad mom just because I don’t deal with strangers’ kids.”
• How Others Perceive Her: The co-hosts have noticed Melissa’s distance but acknowledge she’s good with their own children when around them.

3. Relationship Dynamics with Katie

• Contrast in Expression: Melissa contrasts her reserved emotional style with her partner Katie’s expressiveness and excitement about motherhood.
  • Quote (Melissa, 05:33): “She [Katie] gets so excited about things ... She says, ‘You'll get children and you'll be the mothering one and the nurturing one and I'll end up being the disciplinarian,’ even though on the outside she exerts this fun, loving energy.”
• Learning Together: Their differences create “an appreciation for each other” and help them understand themselves better as a couple.

4. The Social and Emotional Toll of IVF

• Wider Impact: They discuss how IVF can strain relationships; some couples grow apart or place parenthood on pause due to the stress.
  • Quote (Co-host, 05:06): “I know couples that haven’t made it through that, really split up during the process because it’s so stressful.”
• Listener Feedback: Melissa has received mixed responses from listeners, some supportive and others cautioning her about potential disappointment.
  • Quote (Melissa, 07:31): “At first, I was offended... why in the world would you express something negative when I’m trying to celebrate?”

5. Reflections on Identity, Legacy, and Motivation for Parenthood

• Family & Legacy: Melissa reflects on the desire to leave a legacy through family, contrasting the fleeting nature of public attention with generational continuity.
  • Quote (Melissa, 09:03): “In 50 years, in 100 years, in 200 years, nobody’s gonna remember who we were... But your family always tries to find out who you are... That’s my biggest motivation.”
• Regret if Childless: She openly admits that she’d feel regret if motherhood didn’t happen for her.
  • Quote (Melissa, 09:49): “If I end my life having not reproduced, I would be regretful. Yes, I can say that.”

6. Openness to Various Paths of Parenthood

• Exploring Adoption and Other Means: Melissa and Katie are open to adoption and discuss the complexities (especially for same-sex couples), though they recognize the potential challenges and expenses.
  • Quote (Melissa, 08:44): “We’re open to adoption. We’re open to all that.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I’m naturally not a very— it’s not that I’m not an emotional person. I just don’t show my emotions as much as other people. I don’t show them as much as Katie does.” —Melissa Carter (05:33)
• “If you guys never had children, would that bother you?” —Co-host (08:17)
  • “Yes, it would bother me... I was not with the person, you know, I needed to be with someone who I knew was gonna be the mother of my children.” —Melissa Carter (08:22)
• “I got four ice cubes and the Brazos.” —Melissa Carter jokes about their frozen embryos (10:02)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:32] Show pivots to the main topic; co-host questions Melissa’s views on motherhood
• [01:46] Melissa explains her IVF process and egg freezing
• [02:17] Discussion of Melissa’s upbringing and lack of experience with kids
• [03:05] The emotional toll and cautious optimism of IVF
• [04:59] Talking about the strain IVF can put on relationships
• [05:33] Melissa and Katie’s complementary personalities and division of parental roles
• [07:31] Listener feedback and Melissa’s reaction
• [08:17] Directly addressing whether Melissa would be troubled by not having children
• [09:03] Melissa discusses broader motivations for wanting kids and legacy

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Tone & Style

The conversation is intimate, honest, and reflective, teetering between humor (“I got four ice cubes and the Brazos”) and vulnerability (admitting to longings, anxieties, and societal pressures). The show's easy banter and authenticity persist, but the real gems of this episode are the deeply personal revelations about what it means to contemplate new family roles and the courage necessary to move toward them despite doubts and external skepticism.

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Transcript

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[Melissa Carter]

The Birch Show Melissa Carter, I want

[Co-host or Friend]

to get real with you for a second, okay? And I don't want you to think that I have been judging because I have not.

[Melissa Carter]

Okay.

[Co-host or Friend]

And I may have made an observation that I'm just way off base on.

[Melissa Carter]

Okay?

[Co-host or Friend]

Okay. And it has to do with you becoming a mom and the whole egg thing that you've been doing lately and all that.

[Melissa Carter]

My embryos are frozen in a freezer here in Atlanta. I had gone through IVF treatments where I went through IVF for like half of the process and at the process where they take the eggs out and fertilize them, then I had them placed into a freezer rather than back into my womb. And then.

[Co-host or Friend]

All right, let's see how real we want to get with this whole thing, because up until this point, for as long as I've known you now for nine years, you've been kind of nervous around kids.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Friend]

Like, you know, a little. Not. I don't want to say hands off, but just haven't really, I don't know, embraced the idea of children.

[Melissa Carter]

Well, I had talked on the air. I'm the youngest. I never was around kids growing up, so I was just awkward. I was youngest by far, so I don't have nieces and nephews, but a lot of my closest friends don't have kids. I mean, one of my closest friends in Knoxville has children, and I'm not around children often at all. So I do. I don't have this. I'm not the one that runs up to them and picks them up and hugs them and kisses them. But I don't necessarily think that that would make me a bad mom just because I don't deal with strangers kids. But I. I've seen you with my

[Co-host or Friend]

kids, and you've been great.

[Melissa Carter]

Yeah, I just. Yeah, it's a matter of the way I grew up. I just was never around children, you know.

[Co-host or Friend]

So now you're going through this whole process, and I hear you talking about it, and I hear you talking about it with Katie Jo and stuff, but I'm wondering if you're more excited about this whole process for Katie Jo than you are for yourself.

[Melissa Carter]

No, that's not necessarily.

[Friend or Co-host]

That's a good question, though.

[Melissa Carter]

That's not necessarily the case. I think that the reason. I'm a little more reserved about it, because with ivf, you have to celebrate the stages, you know, because if you talk. Because this introduced me to a whole new world of couples who have fertility issues. And I just have witnessed in the past two years, because this conversation started two years ago, and my conversation with the clinic started two years ago, and us going through. Not only you have to go through counseling, you have to go through financial counseling. There's a whole stages of things you have to do just before you ever get to the process of starting to take the hormones and get. So it took two years for me to get these eggs in the freezer. And in those two years, just the environment I've been a part of, there's so much heartache that goes along with the celebrations. We've had friends that we've discovered since then that have gone through IVF that we did not realize was going through unsuccessful IVF treatments. And, you know, basically what it is is a huge amount of expense, a huge amount of self reflection. Because for a lot of straight couples, you know, like for Katie and I, we did not go into it with fertility issues. We went into it with, you know, biological. Like, we gotta figure out an alternative way to have children because we can't do it the way straight people can do it. But for a lot of straight couples that go into it, there is this sense of insecurity because they dreamed of having children. And then one of them finds out that they have an inability or, you know, something is going on where they have a struggle having children. And so I think for me, the focus I have right now is on the embryos, because the children. We don't plan on having children for a couple years, you know, and I think that, you know, it certainly accelerated the conversations about children because now we actually have living things in a freezer that could be if we wanted them to be. But I think for me, it's just this observation of all these sad. I mean, honestly, sad couples that sit in that waiting room and they're depressed.

[Co-host or Friend]

The emotional toll. I've had friends that have gone through this for years. The emotional toll it takes on everybody in the relationship is so intense.

[Friend or Co-host]

I know couples that haven't made it

[Melissa Carter]

through that, yeah, really split up during

[Friend or Co-host]

the process because it's so stressful and it's. There's so much. There's so much pressure and stress. I think that they have a harder time with getting pregnant because of the pressure and stress.

[Co-host or Friend]

Then there are other couples that I know also that have gone years trying and trying and trying and going by the book, and it becomes so pressure filled that they're just like, you know what? Let's just put this on the shelf for a couple of years. And then they have sex and they get pregnant.

[Melissa Carter]

And they get pregnant. Yeah, well, it's a combination because I'm gonna answer your question with that. Plus, I'm naturally not a very. It's not that I'm not an emotional person. I just don't show my emotions as much as other people. I don't show them as much as Katie does. You know, one of the things that makes Katie and my relationship so strong is we are so different from each other. And I think there's an appreciation for each other because it's something new, like it's something we're learning about. And then it also shows us about ourselves. And one of the things that we know about each other. She's far more expressive than I am. You know, she gets so excited about things and she's. The thought of being a mother is so exciting to her. But we've had the conversation where since we started this process. She laughs, thinking, you know what, that we may be misunderstanding each other. So answering your question, she thinks I'm actually going to be this great mom because I have this outward appearance that I'm very reserved and I have this thick skin. But she says, you know, but you'll get children and you'll be the mothering one and the nurturing one and that she'll end up being the disciplinarian, even though on the outside she exerts this fun, loving energy. So we've actually had that conversation, which surprised me because she said, you know, you'll end up being the kid, you know, the go to for the kids for their nurturing, you know, which is funny. I never thought about, you know, but so I think the combination of both is I'm trying not to be too excited too soon because I'm celebrating the success of the eggs because going on. And not to go too long about this, but the IVF thing. Listeners response to my sharing this has also been surprising because so many listeners have had this spice of negativity, you know, like their congratulations. But just know that those eggs may not take. Oh, fantastic for you, Melissa.

[Co-host or Friend]

But just know because they've had this kind of idea.

[Melissa Carter]

And so there was a part of me at first I was offended, like, why in the world would you express something negative when I'm trying to celebrate and just celebrate with me, you know, So I, you know, but they're trying

[Co-host or Friend]

to be cautious, but for what reason?

[Melissa Carter]

I'm proud of these four embryos that. And if they don't make it, I don't care. Like I'm happy right now with how far we've come because it took so much effort and I'm still going through the. Because once you take the eggs out, my body's not adjusted yet. I have been jacked up with hormones for six weeks that my body has been. I've been. Probably had a harder time after the eggs were taken out last week than I did before. So I've been struggling the past week with just changes in my body and trying to adjust to it. So it's a whole process. So I'm enjoying. We put the picture of the embryos on the mantel. We had one picture of the embryo on the. Yeah, I mean it's. Yeah, it's part of me that I'm not thinking about stage six. Cause I'm still in stage four.

[Co-host or Friend]

If you guys never had children, would that bother you?

[Melissa Carter]

Yes, it would bother me. Because I think.

[Co-host or Friend]

Could you have said that two years ago?

[Melissa Carter]

Yes, I have said that probably since my transplant.

[Co-host or Friend]

Okay.

[Melissa Carter]

But I just never was. I was not with the person, you know, I needed to be with someone who I knew was gonna be the mother of my children.

[Friend or Co-host]

Right.

[McDonald's Advertiser]

Well.

[Friend or Co-host]

And I think too, like, even if the IVF doesn't work, there's a lot of ways to become parents.

[Melissa Carter]

You know what I'm saying? We're open to adoption. We're open to all that.

[Friend or Co-host]

Absolutely. I mean, it's all expensive, but there's a lot of ways to become moms.

[Melissa Carter]

Yes. It's not that expensive.

[Co-host or Friend]

You could have Hollis tomorrow.

[Melissa Carter]

You're right. But the adoption thing for a gay couple is a little more than first.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Right.

[Friend or Co-host]

Couples. I have gay couple friends who've adopted. And it's not easy, but it can be done.

[Co-host or Friend]

But you are genuinely excited about it.

[Melissa Carter]

I'm genuinely excited, yeah. You can't help but think about. And the reason I say that for the transplant is because we work in an industry of vanity and of attention. I mean, we all in this room would not be here if we didn't want attention on some level. We all would not be working in this room if we didn't need. We need somebody to tell us that we're great or need somebody to tell us that we're good. You know, it's like we obviously have some lacking of doing it ourselves, but in 50 years, in 100 years, in 200 years, nobody's gonna remember who we were. Even though we strive to have some kind of public image, I'm pretty sure

[Co-host or Friend]

we'll still be here.

[Melissa Carter]

But your family.

[Co-host or Friend]

I feel like I've been here that long this morning.

[Melissa Carter]

But seriously. But your family always tries to find out who you are. Like you've brought ancestry.com?

[Friend or Co-host]

yeah.

[Melissa Carter]

People are always trying to find who they're connected to, family wise. And so that's my biggest motivation is, yes, if I end my life having not reproduced, I would be regretful. Yes, I can say that.

[Co-host or Friend]

Honestly, you ain't got to worry about that because it's about to happen.

[Melissa Carter]

I got four ice cubes and the Brazos.

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[Melissa Carter]

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[Melissa Carter]

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