The Bert Show: Vault - Would You Do This If You Knew You Were Getting Divorced?
Air Date: February 16, 2026
Main Theme:
This episode takes a candid, humorous, and sometimes jaw-dropping dive into what people do financially right before a divorce—particularly the phenomenon of pre-divorce shopping sprees. The hosts discuss the tabloid-worthy saga of A-Rod and Madonna as a jumping off point, then open the phone lines for listeners to share their own experiences and stories, ranging from luxury purchases to creative ways of spending money before splitting up.
Main Discussion Points
1. The A-Rod & Madonna Tabloid Drama
[01:56–03:24]
- The show opens with the ongoing rumors about Alex Rodriguez (A-Rod) allegedly falling for Madonna. Details are shared about secret texts, dinner smiles, and extravagant parties.
- A-Rod’s immense wealth comes up, setting the stage for a discussion on marital assets and divorce settlements.
“Let's just assume with endorsements and all that, let's lowball it and say he's worth $500 million.”
— Main Host [02:55]
2. Would You Go on a Pre-Divorce Shopping Spree?
[03:02–05:17]
- The hosts pose a provocative question: If you knew you were about to get a divorce, would you go on a big spending spree before filing? Several hosts and listeners weigh in.
- Discussion covers prenuptial agreements and how drastic changes in income after marriage could potentially nullify them.
“Are there other women listening or even men that have been the victim of this... You went on a crazy shopping spree or bought yourself something over the top before you actually went and filed for the divorce?”
— Main Host [03:19]
- The nuances of prenups: If a prenup was based on a much lower income level than a spouse currently earns, could it be rendered void? The hosts debate legal gray areas with playful curiosity.
3. Listener Stories: Pre-Divorce Extravagances
[05:29–09:37]
a. The $90,000 ‘Divorce Trophy’ Convertible
- Caller Story: A woman purchased a Mercedes convertible right before filing for divorce.
- “That's the divorce trophy right there.” — Co-Host 3 [05:59]
b. The ‘I’m Getting a Divorce Purse’
- Caller Story: One listener went on a luxury shopping spree in Italy, hiding high-end purchases in the divorce process.
- “Yeah, that was called my ‘I'm getting a divorce purse.’” — Caller [06:54]
c. Jewelry and ‘Divorce Trophy’ Mentality
- Co-host shares: Someone she knows bought a custom bracelet right before assets were split, decreasing the ex’s final share.
- “She wears it proudly.” — Co-Host 2 [07:36]
d. Inheriting Debt
- Listener Priscilla: Her husband’s ex maxed out his credit cards and emptied the bank before filing, leaving Priscilla to marry into debt.
- “That sucks.” — Main Host [08:45]
e. Out-Spending to Avoid Asset Division
- Anecdote from a restaurant worker about a divorcing man who tipped hundreds daily just to reduce what his ex-wife could claim.
- “He was like, ‘I'm trying to spend all my money because if she gets everything, there won't be anything for her to have.’” — Caller [09:25]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
Legal Angle on Prenups
“If she signed a prenuptial agreement that was based on a salary that was grossly different than the salary he has now, that prenuptial agreement may be null and void.”
— Co-Host 2 [04:28] -
On Divorce-Themed Shopping
“That's the divorce trophy right there.”
— Co-Host 3 [05:59]“Those were called my ‘I'm getting a divorce purse.’”
— Caller [06:58] -
Humorous Take on Celebrity Affairs
“Well, that one should be a gift. You should be—it's Lenny Kravitz! Like anybody else.”
— Main Host [07:43] -
On Losing Out to a Celebrity
“If my wife went out tomorrow and had an affair with Lenny Kravitz, and I lost my wife to Lenny Kravitz, I'd say, look, y' all, I never had a chance of Lenny Kravitz.”
— Main Host [07:54]
Key Timestamps
- [01:56] Launching discussion with the A-Rod & Madonna story
- [03:19] Raising the central question: Would you shop big pre-divorce?
- [04:28] Legal discussion: When prenups might not protect vast new wealth
- [05:31] First listener call: Mercedes convertible as a pre-divorce purchase
- [06:10] Listener’s Italy shopping spree story
- [06:54] “I'm getting a divorce purse” reference
- [08:45] Inheriting debt after a spouse's pre-divorce spending binge
- [08:56] Restaurant worker on the big-tipping divorcing husband
Tone, Banter, and Takeaway
The Bert Show maintains its trademark authenticity, mixing genuine curiosity and lively humor across the segment. Hosts and listeners share personal and second-hand stories, often finding laughter even in the awkward and sometimes harsh realities of splitting assets. Celebrity gossip is used as an icebreaker, with everyday tales giving the theme real substance.
The episode raises serious questions about money, relationships, and ethics—while making it relatable and fun for their audience.
For those who missed the episode:
You’ll come away with surprising facts about prenups, real-life stories of big-spending exes, and the reassurance that if you’ve been burned by a pre-divorce splurge, you’re not alone—and maybe you can laugh about it, too.