Vault: Would you forgive him for missing the birth?

Summary

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The Bert Show – Vault: Would You Forgive Him for Missing the Birth?

Episode Date: August 5, 2026

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Episode Overview

This lively and candid episode of The Bert Show delves into a surprisingly contentious topic: Would you forgive your partner for missing the birth of your child? Triggered by a real-life story of “Big Mike” from American Idol famously missing the birth of his first child to audition in Hollywood, the hosts open the lines to listeners to share personal experiences and opinions. The cast and callers debate whether these absences are forgivable depending on the reasons—ranging from work demands and accidents to more controversial causes like phobias or poor decision-making.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Big Mike” American Idol Story (01:00)

• The episode kicks off with the tale of Big Mike, who went to LA for the Hollywood round of American Idol, choosing to potentially change his family's future over witnessing the birth of his first child.
• Host sets the tone: This dilemma asks, "Would you forgive your partner if their absence offered a major life-changing opportunity?"

2. Opening Up the Conversation: Angry or Accepting? (01:40-02:29)

• The hosts debate whether to focus on unresolved anger or acceptance, with Co-host 2 betting they’ll get “more calls with the first one.”
• The show aims for a balance: stories from both still-bitter and totally-forgiving partners.
• They decide to exclude military absences (“too easy”), honing in on more “controversial” or everyday scenarios like fishing trips, vacations, or poor timing.

3. The Range of Absences: Accidents, Work, and Phobia (04:07-09:31)

• Caller: Alyssa’s Story (04:07-05:24)
  • Alyssa recounts how her husband, after falling at work and suffering a skull fracture, was hospitalized the same night as her planned C-section. Despite being in separate hospitals, she felt at peace:

  "My husband... fell off a ladder at work and cracked his skull... I was in the emergency room with him... he was able to see his son two days after he was born." (04:25)

• Caller: Elaine’s Story (05:40-06:22)
  • Elaine’s father missed both her and her sister’s births due to oil rig work, but later got custody and raised them. Her mother still brings it up, despite being uninvolved later.
  • Memorable insight: Sometimes, the actual parenting counts for more than one missed moment.
• Caller: Carly’s Story (06:34-06:57)
  • Carly’s dad was only five minutes late due to work:

  “And I jokingly still bring it up when we get in fights today.” (06:40)

  • Host reacts:

  "So you've let it go, but you really haven't let it go." (06:53)

• Caller: Shannon’s Story (06:59-08:17)
  • Shannon’s husband missed the birth of all three of their kids due to a debilitating hospital phobia grounded in trauma from both of his parents dying of cancer:

  “He has a phobia of hospitals... It brings back very... He lost both his parents within a year, and it's very sickening to him.” (07:23 - 08:17)

  • Despite his absence, their communication, and support from friends, helped them cope.
  • Co-hosts reflect on the legitimacy and hardship of phobias: one shares her friend couldn’t visit her due to similar triggers. (08:31)

4. When Absence is Due to Mistakes (09:10-10:20)

• Caller: AJ’s Story
  • AJ’s husband missed the birth due to a disconnected phone (resulting from an unpaid bill). She jokes about still bringing it up:

  “When I went into labor, the doctor called my house, and our phone was disconnected... I bring it up all the time.” (09:30-10:12)

  • Hosts joke that her husband will "pay the bill for the next two years." (10:12)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Acceptable Excuses:
  • “We should eliminate [military service calls]. That’s too easy.” – Co-host 3 (02:28)
  • “If he’d been laid up somewhere in a bar, but, you know, I mean, this man loves his kids more than anything in the world and it was very hard for him not to go.” – Shannon (07:37)
• On Letting Go... or Not:
  • "So you've let it go, but you really haven't let it go." – Host, reacting to Carly (06:53)
• On Shared Experience:
  • “When I had my transplant, I had a friend who had to call me on the phone because she couldn’t come in the hospital because her father had passed away and she associated anything negative with the hospital.” – Co-host 2 (08:31)
• On Parenting Over Moments:
  • “He raised us. He got custody of us in the 80s and raised us by himself. She was nowhere in the picture.” – Elaine (05:44)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:00] – Introduction of Big Mike's story; context for discussion
• [01:40] – Open call for listener stories; setting ground rules
• [04:07] – Alyssa: husband misses C-section due to accident/hospitalization
• [05:40] – Elaine: dad missed two births for work, but raised both kids solo
• [06:34] – Carly: dad missed birth by 5 minutes, still playful grudge
• [06:59] – Shannon: husband missed multiple births due to trauma-induced hospital phobia
• [09:10] – AJ: husband missed birth due to disconnected phone, still together
• [10:12] – Hosts joke about learning from mistakes ("pay the bill for the next two years")

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Tone and Takeaway

The episode is conversational, humorous, and warm, layered with empathy for the real-life implications behind missing a child’s birth—and how families ultimately do (or don’t) let it go. The hosts encourage candid, sometimes comical storytelling, but never lose sight of the emotional realities behind each caller’s experience.

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In sum:
“The Bert Show” creates a space for both laughter and serious reflection on what really matters in family relationships: Is forgiveness possible when a partner misses a huge milestone—and does the reason really matter in the long run? If you're wrestling with your own family’s “missed moment,” this episode may help you find some understanding—or at least see the humor in it.

Transcript

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[Host (Bird Show)]

Bird show we're gonna play the conversation that we had with Big Mike from American Idol. But the fact of the matter with Mike is this is that when his wife was delivering their first baby, he wasn't there. He chose to go out to LA and pursue his dream on American Idol.

[Co-host 1]

He had just been given the chance to do the Hollywood round. Right.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Right.

[Co-host 2]

I think.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Right.

[Co-host 1]

And he was like, man, this is my chance to make it happen for my family. I gotta stay.

[Host (Bird Show)]

And at the end of the day that's what he did. He went out to la. I mean he advances all these rounds. She has the baby and he missed that. He missed that, man. And he's at peace with it now. We can go one of two ways here. You guys tell me which way you want to go with this.

[Caller]

Okay.

[Host (Bird Show)]

We could talk to moms that are still upset that their husbands missed the birth of their baby for whatever reason. Or we can talk to moms that that are totally cool with why their husbands missed the birth of their baby.

[Co-host 2]

We'll get more calls with the first one.

[Co-host 1]

Angry, angry calls I think.

[Co-host 3]

Can we take both? Cause I think I would be interested to hear the contrast.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, that's true.

[Co-host 3]

Between the two. You know what I mean? And you have to be in like a happy. Like you can't call up and go I'm totally fine that he didn't show up. Cause he wasn't in the baby's life at all anyways and blah, blah, blah.

[Caller]

You know what I mean?

[Co-host 3]

It has to be like, you guys are married. Stayed married after the birth of the

[Co-host 1]

baby, but for work or family or whatever. I'm guessing we'll have a lot of military families that experience that.

[Co-host 3]

We should eliminate those.

[Tyler Redick]

Right.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Because that's too easy. Yeah. I'm glad he went to service country. Okay. We get those. Totally get those. So we're looking for two kinds here. 404.741Q100. You're still upset for the reason why he missed the birth of your baby. He's out on a fishing trip and he mistimed it. He was at a bar when you called and he couldn't get somebody to drive him home. Whatever.

[Co-host 3]

Still upset. Then we talk to somebody because we've talked about this before and wasn't there a guy passed out drunk? Like he went out with his buddies the night before. They took him out because the baby was coming. He went to sleep at 2 in the morning, totally hammered and slept. And then her water broke at 6.

[Co-host 2]

There's a lot of drunk stars. I'm sure because guy is getting nervous. I'm sure there's a lot of guys who would probably get. If she has a long labor and he's nervous, so he decides to go, I need a couple cocktails to calm me down a little bit for a second. And then he completely gets to trash to come back.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Or he. You know, there could be a case where he takes like a dude vacation and you deliver early, you go into labor and he can't get back in time.

[Co-host 3]

If he's on one of those vacations, you go on like in a mountain in Argentina somewhere, sitting up there, home.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Yeah, but if you're like three weeks out or something like that, then you can't do that.

[Co-host 2]

Right.

[Host (Bird Show)]

I don't know what the statute there is, how many miles you can travel, but it's not the Buenos Aires.

[Co-host 2]

I know that my friend could have

[Co-host 3]

missed the birth of his because his wife sent him a text message and didn't call. Like he was at work, he was in a studio, so he was working. And she sent a text to his phone and didn't pick up the phone and call. And he's like, when you're having a baby, you need to pick up the phone and make a call.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey, Alyssa.

[Caller]

Hey.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So you got Big Mike's situation on American Idol where dude goes on out to LA and he misses the birth of his first child. So his wife seems to be pretty Cool about it, but we're looking for moms that are still either upset by the husband missing the birth or are totally cool with it.

[Caller]

I'm totally cool with it. My husband, the night before I had my planned C section that we planned for three months with the specific doctor, he fell off a ladder at work and cracked his skull. And I was in the emergency room with him. He's like, you have to have the C section with this doctor. I don't want anyone else touching you. I was like, are you sure? So my family flew in that night, and he was at Atlanta Met Medical and I'm down at Northside.

[Co-host 3]

Oh, they couldn't even get you in the same hospital.

[Caller]

But I was famous. They were like, hey, aren't you the woman whose husband's in Atlanta Medical? Hey, everybody knows you around here. And I was like, oh, wow.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, that's terrible.

[Co-host 3]

In the same, like, put my skull together at Northside.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Oh, that's so cool.

[Caller]

Two days there and like, forced them to let him go so he could see his son. I mean, he was. And then they had a bed for him. They put me in a special room where they had a bed for him. And he was able to see his son two days after he was born.

[Co-host 2]

Well, she's at peace though. Wow.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Yeah, she's okay with it. Hey, Shannon, I want to put you on hold because I think you may be my closer call. Okay?

[Caller]

Okay.

[Host (Bird Show)]

All right.

[Caller (AJ)]

Hold on.

[Co-host 1]

Oh, no, don't go anywhere.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Don't go anywhere, Shannon.

[Bubba Wallace]

Great.

[Co-host 2]

Yeah, I gotta hear that.

[Co-host 3]

I know.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Good morning, Elaine. You are on Q100. Hi.

[Caller]

Hi.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Hi. How are you?

[Caller]

I'm good. So, yes, I'm 30 and my sister is 28 and my dad missed both of our births and my mother still very upset about it. But the funny little twist is, even though she uses it all the time to prove that he was never there. He raised us. He got custody of us in the 80s and raised us by himself. She was nowhere in the picture.

[Co-host 3]

Why did he. What was his reason for missing the birth?

[Caller]

He was working on the oil rigs back in Louisiana. And he would be out for a week and then home for a week, and it was while he was out both times.

[Co-host 2]

Sucks.

[Co-host 1]

So he's working. So he was working.

[Host (Bird Show)]

He was working. I want to get to that Shannon call, man. Cuz her husband missed all three.

[Co-host 2]

Oh, God, dude, I'll tell you what,

[Host (Bird Show)]

Let me just take Carly first and I'll get to Shannon.

[Co-host 3]

He's busy, man.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Good morning, Carly. You're on the Vert show. Hi.

[Caller (AJ)]

Hi.

[Main Event J]

Hi.

[Caller]

How are you guys?

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[Host (Bird Show)]

Hey.

[Tyler Redick]

Hey.

[Host (Bird Show)]

What's going on?

[Caller]

Hey, good. I just wanted to call and tell you guys that my dad was on business when I was born, and he tried his best as you could to make it on time, but was just five minutes late. And I jokingly still bring it up when we get in fights today.

[Host (Bird Show)]

So you've let it go, but you really haven't let it go.

[Tyler Redick]

Yeah.

[Caller]

Yeah.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Here is Shannon. All right, you guys ready for this?

[Main Event J]

Yes.

[Host (Bird Show)]

All right. Shannon, how are you?

[Caller (AJ)]

I'm good.

[Caller]

How are you?

[Host (Bird Show)]

I'm okay. The number seems really high, though. You've had three kids?

[Caller (AJ)]

We do.

[Caller]

Well, I have five. Two are from my first marriage, and then my last three are from the second.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Okay.

[Caller]

And we. We had talked about it beforehand. Do you want me to.

[Host (Bird Show)]

She had said, yeah, go ahead.

[Caller]

Earlier.

[Co-host 1]

Sure. Yes.

[Caller]

He.

[Main Event J]

He.

[Caller]

Both of his parents died of cancer, and he has a phobia of hospitals.

[Co-host 2]

Ah. I knew somebody like that.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Really?

[Caller]

Yes, very severely. Like, he almost died from a pygmy rattlesnake bite at one point. Like, absolutely does not do hospitals. And the third one was premature, and he actually almost gave in and went just because. But then everything turned out fine. I had a best friend. She was in there for all three, and it worked out. And you really have to, I guess, prioritize. I mean, I think I probably would have been pissed if he had been laid up somewhere in a bar, but, you know, I mean, this man loves his kids more than anything in the world, and it was very hard for him not to go. But, you know, you do what you do.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Like when you say phobia of hospitals, like, what are you talking about? When he thinks of going to a hospital, what are we talking about?

[Caller]

It just brings back very. It was. He lost it back to his parents within a year, and it's very sickening to him.

[Co-host 1]

I'm pretty sure I knew somebody like that. Maybe, like, panic attacks, anxiety.

[Caller]

Yeah, it's very hard. Yes.

[Co-host 3]

I'm sorry. Go ahead.

[Co-host 2]

When I had my transplant, I had a friend who had to call me on the phone because she couldn't come in the hospital because her father had passed away and she associated anything negative with it with the hospital. So she had to call and say, I'm so sorry. I'm not gonna make it up to see you.

[Co-host 3]

I think it's possible that my uncle missed the birth of his only daughter because he has a. Like, my aunt had surgery. She's passed away now. But, like, when I Was living in Syracuse. Like, I remember she went in for surgery then. She also had a heart attack more recently. And I don't think he went to visit her either time. His wife of, like, 50 years.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Is that right?

[Co-host 2]

His name is so phobic.

[Co-host 3]

And he gets so. He just can't do it. I wonder what that. Wonder what happens if he gets sick?

[Host (Bird Show)]

I don't know.

[Co-host 2]

It was like she said, her husband almost died. From what, a snake bite? Because he wouldn't go to the hospital.

[Host (Bird Show)]

Stacy would never have that. She'd say, suck it up, and, you get your ass down here. I don't care how nervous or phobic you are, you get your ass down here. You don't even know what phobia is till the next time you see me. You're gonna be a Stacyphobic if you don't get here. Hey, aj. Good morning. You're on the Burt Show. Hi.

[Co-host 1]

Hi.

[Caller (AJ)]

How y' all doing?

[Bubba Wallace]

Good.

[Host (Bird Show)]

How are you?

[Caller (AJ)]

Good. I was on bed rest with my second child at the hospital, and when I went into labor, the doctor called my house, and our phone was disconnected. So I had to call my neighbor to go to my house. And my husband missed the birth. When he capped it, he was like, how much longer? I was like, it's done.

[Caller]

He's here.

[Co-host 3]

So, like, I didn't hear that. Did he cut the bill out, or did the phone get cut off? Cause he didn't pay the bill.

[Caller (AJ)]

Right.

[Co-host 3]

So he didn't pay the bill, phone gets cut off, he misses the call, saying, your baby's here.

[Caller]

Right.

[Host (Bird Show)]

That's gonna be a tough one to let. Is he the current husband or is he the ex?

[Caller (AJ)]

He's the current husband. We have three kids. There's, like, another one after my middle child. But, yeah, I bring it up all the time.

[Host (Bird Show)]

I bet that's the first thing he did. Like, when you told him you were pregnant, he's like, I'm paying the bill for the next two years.

[Co-host 1]

Yeah, exactly.

[Co-host 2]

Stop being taken care of, honey.

[Caller (AJ)]

Exactly.

[Host (Bird Show)]

All right, aj. Thanks for calling.

[Caller (AJ)]

Thanks. Have a good day.

[Host (Bird Show)]

You, too.

[Caller (AJ)]

Get it.

[Host (Bird Show)]

The Bird Show.

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