Vault: You think you're the winner but you're not

Summary

The Bert Show
Episode: Vault: You think you're the winner but you're not
Date: June 25, 2026

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Episode Overview

This lively episode centers on the theme of perceived victory versus actual results, especially in competitive contexts. The hosts—Vert and the team—dive into a viral Olympic drama where a Russian figure skater, after losing gold, insists he “won platinum” in protest. The conversation expands to general attitudes about losing, the psychology of self-declared wins, and relatable tales from listeners who cope with loss by declaring themselves winners. The segment is peppered with humor, playful banter, and amusing insights into the quirks of sporting competitions (with a surprising side journey into the world of Olympic curling).

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The "Platinum Medal" Controversy (01:02–02:15)

• Main Story: Vert recounts the story of a Russian figure skater who placed second at the Winter Olympics but, dissatisfied and vocal about the point system, now claims on his website to have won a “platinum” medal— a made-up rank above gold.
  • Vert: “He has now on his website just to declare to everybody that he won the platinum medal at the Vancouver Games…” (01:45)
• Reaction: The hosts find the move petty but hilarious, comparing it to kids on playgrounds who rewrite their own “wins” for comfort.

2. Sportsmanship & Letting Go (02:16–04:19)

• Host Perspective: Emphasis on how half the Olympics is about sportsmanship and learning to accept defeat.
  • Host: “Half of the Olympics are about sportsmanship, right? Let it go, dude. You lost.” (02:16)
• Comparisons: Hosts joke about people (including the absent Jeff) obstinately declaring themselves winners, regardless of the actual outcome.
  • Vert: “I can see Jeff being the kind of guy who, if he lost something and he was mad that he lost, he just go ahead and tell everybody he won.” (02:21)

3. Real-Life Parallel: Bobsledding Drama (03:03–04:19)

• Secondary Olympic Drama: Vert shares a bobsledding incident where a local athlete, Alana Myers, was denied a top spot despite besting the favorite in a trial. The “favorite” manipulates the team selection, with karmic results.
  • Vert: “She has a push off against another contestant and she beats the contestant. So she should be in the USA number one sled. But this driver didn’t dig Alana too much…” (03:41)
• Commentary: The team and listeners root for the underdog (Alana) as the drama unfolds.

4. Listener Feedback: Coping with Loss (04:30–06:12)

• Caller Story: Rebecca shares that at national dance competitions, her team "celebrates victory" even when finishing second or third, due to the political nature and hard work involved.
  • Caller 2 (Rebecca): “We go home and celebrate our victory because of how hard we worked and how far we went.” (04:49)
• Host Pushback: Gentle disagreement—recognizing effort is good, but “declaring yourself the winner if everybody else says you didn’t win” can distort reality.
  • Host: “Rebecca, you can’t declare yourself the winner if everybody else says you didn’t win.” (05:13)
• Reflection: Being honest about loss while still celebrating achievements and effort.

5. The American Figure Skater’s Response (05:36–06:12)

• Caller Update: Rebecca adds the American skater responded graciously in interviews, praising his Russian rival.
  • Vert: “So he took the high road.” (05:58)
  • Caller 2: “Yeah, he took the high road.” (06:01)

6. Unexpected Olympic Obsessions: Curling (06:22–08:35)

• Hosts’ Curling Fascination: The hosts admit to getting oddly hooked on Olympic curling—especially as an entertaining, quirky sport with deep strategies.
  • Host: “I am convinced if I started training today, I could be in the top 10 in the country in curling...” (07:05)
  • Vert: “I watched it for two and a half hours yesterday.” (06:49)
• Funny Observations: Comments on curling’s fashion (Under Armour, skirts on the Dutch team), the appeal of “hot curlers,” and playful gender banter.
  • Vert: “John Morris… is hot. And that will keep you… Johnny Morris in your bed. Amen, sister.” (08:02)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Losing with Grace:

  • Host: “Half of the Olympics are about sportsmanship, right? Let it go, dude. You lost.” (02:16)

• On Rewriting Reality:

  • Vert: “You know what? I know what you saw may look like they won, but actually I was the one that was the winner.” (02:40)
  • Caller 2: “I guess it makes us feel better because, especially like the Olympics, you train for that, for life, so it hurts.” (05:20)

• On Curling Obsession:

  • Vert: “I watched it for two and a half hours yesterday.” (06:49)
  • Host: “Once. I wouldn’t even wear my gold medal if I won one in curling.” (07:36)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• "Platinum Medal" Story: 01:02–02:15
• Debate Over Sportsmanship & Declaring Victory: 02:16–03:03
• Bobsled Soap Opera: 03:03–04:19
• Listener Call-In (Rebecca, Dance Competitions): 04:30–06:12
• The American Figure Skater’s Response: 05:36–06:12
• The Comedy of Olympic Curling Obsession: 06:22–08:35

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Tone & Takeaways

The episode is classic Bert Show: real, energetic, good-natured, and authentically conversational, with self-deprecating humor about getting wrapped up in strange Olympic events. They parse the line between healthy self-esteem and refusing to admit defeat, while holding up sportsmanship as an essential value. The show’s banter and listener stories bring the subject down to earth, making it relatable for anyone who’s ever wanted to rewrite the outcome of a close contest—even if only in their own minds.

Transcript

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[Bluff]

Listen, it's the Vert show.

[Vert]

I want to ask you guys a question. If you've ever like claimed to be the winner of some competition or some race, even if you didn't win, I mean, it's blatant that you lost, but somehow you claim victory. And the reason I ask this is because there's a story of the Winter Olympics in which a male figure skater did not win. So he got silver, he did not get gold. Okay? So it was a Russian skater that lost the gold medal by a fraction of a point, okay? To an American. So the American guy gets the gold. He gets the silver, right? And since then he has been complaining about it ever since.

[Host]

I've seen this guy in interviews, like right after the race, after they gave it to the, the American dude, this was the guy saying that, you know, there has to be something done with the point system or something because he, he really feels like he got robbed of the whole thing, right?

[Vert]

Complain, complain. Well, of course the, the metal system is gold, silver and bronze. And it's based on the value of the metal. Right? Because gold is more valuable than silver and silver, silver more valuable than bronze. Well, there is something that's more valuable than gold and that's platinum. And so he has now on his website just to declare to everybody that he won the platinum medal at the Vancouver Games in order to say that he did better than the American guy. And it's all. Yeah, and it's all over his website to where he's claiming, you know what, I didn't win the silver. I won the platinum.

[Caller 1]

Come on.

[Host]

Half of the Olympics are about sportsmanship, right? Let it go, dude. You lost.

[Vert]

And I just think it's so funny how somebody. Now I can see. Now I know Jeff's out sick, but I can see Jeff being the kind of guy who, if he lost something and he was mad that he lost, he just go ahead and tell everybody he won. You know what I mean? I just. You know what? I actually won that thing.

[Host]

You just totally dismiss. Yeah, dismiss the results, the actual results and start claiming that you were. That you won the national championship.

[Vert]

You won the national championship. You won the race in the backyard. You won. You. Like if you got in a fight in the school yard. You know what? I know what you saw may look like they won, but actually I was the one that was the winner.

[Caller 2]

It is.

[Vert]

I wonder if the American person who won the gold is responding to that yet.

[Host]

I wouldn't. The only thing I would do is hold my gold up. There you go. Nobody cares about your platinum. There's so many great, like, soap operas, like, if you've been. I am normally not into the Winter Olympics, but I've just been following along for whatever reason the last couple of days. And there's. There are great soap operas if you watch it long enough. I told you the one earlier this morning about our, our local girl here, Elana Myers, who is from Douglasville, and she is part of the bobsledding team that is in second place right now. But she wasn't, she wasn't predicted to be anywhere near the top. There's a bobsledder by the name of, like, Roco or something like that who is the number one driver in the world. And her pusher somehow hurt herself. So Ilana tried out to be her pusher. I mean, who wouldn't want to be with the number one person? You're probably going to win a gold medal, right? So she has a push off against another contestant and she beats the contestant. So she should be in the USA number one sled. But this driver didn't dig Alana too much. So she goes to the race officials and she says, I think you guys forged the, the results. I know you won, Alana, but I don't. And I'm not racing unless I get my girl. So they're like, fine, if you're gonna be like that, great. You can have your own pusher. So they give her that pusher. And that number one team now is in like, sixth or seventh place. And our girl from Douglasville is In second right now.

[Vert]

So you want her to win now because the other girl was, you know, being a, you know, biatch.

[Host]

Totally, totally.

[Vert]

You need her to be, like, a face.

[Host]

Hey, Rebecca. Good Morning. You're on Q100.

[Caller 2]

Hey, Bert Show.

[Host]

Good morning.

[Caller 2]

I was just let you know that my. Does that pretty much every year at Nationals. Dance is a lot more political, though. It comes down to tiny things in the deduction. So every year, if we take second or third, we go home and celebrate our victory because of how hard we worked and how far we went.

[Host]

See, I'm sorry. I can't agree with that. I can't agree.

[Caller 2]

No. It's hard. But dance, I mean, everything. Like, if somebody drops something, it's over, you're in last.

[Host]

Everybody had the same rules.

[Caller 2]

That's the thing. It's like you don't know who's going to do. Who's going to make that little mistake. So every year we go home and we celebrate how well we did help, that we got first.

[Host]

Rebecca, you can't. You can't declare yourself the winner if everybody else says you didn't win.

[Vert]

Right.

[Caller 1]

Right.

[Caller 2]

I know. It's just a personal thing. I guess it makes us feel better because, especially like the Olympics, you train for that, for life, so it hurts.

[Vert]

Everybody did. Including the one with gold.

[Caller 2]

Yeah.

[Vert]

Just take your place.

[Host]

Hey, Rebecca. Good morning.

[Caller 2]

Good morning, guys. How are y'? All?

[Host]

Good. How are you?

[Caller 2]

Good. I wanted to comment in regards to American figure skater. He actually did comment on the Russian.

[Caller 1]

Oh, he did.

[Caller 2]

He was covered by the gentleman who's covering the Olympics. And he was interviewed a couple of nights ago. My husband and I were watching it, and he held himself very well, and he complimented the rushing skater and the whole nine yards.

[Vert]

So he took the high road.

[Caller 2]

Yeah, he took the high road.

[Host]

That's really what I would say.

[Vert]

Unless somebody. I'm sure he had to answer it because it was a direct question.

[Caller 2]

It was a direct question.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Vert]

He had to say something. So he took the high road.

[Host]

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[Vert]

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[Host]

Yes, totally. You find yourself watching the strangest stuff with the Olympics, too. Like these guys were saying they got all invested in curling last night.

[Caller 1]

Obsessive.

[Vert]

Yeah.

[Caller 1]

I can't stop watching. I know. It looks. It looks dumb and cheesy and like, you don't have to practice for it. As much. And it looks like a big shuffleboard. I cannot take my eyes off of it. And the announcers that are announcing what's going on, the play by play and drawing on it like it's a football play. Like there's strategy into curling.

[Vert]

I watched it for two and a half hours yesterday.

[Host]

Come on. Really?

[Vert]

And each player is mic'd so you get to hear their conversations on what they're gonna do. And yeah, I got so invested. And then Katie came home from work and I thought, she's gonna make fun of me. She goes, oh, my God, is it curling? And she sat down and watched it with me. I mean, yeah, it's so fun.

[Host]

I am convinced if I started training today, I could be in the top 10 in the country in curling by the time the Olympics rolls around. That they should axe that sport.

[Vert]

Watching it. No events.

[Host]

Come on.

[Caller 1]

Intense strategy. You have to hit it just right to make the other players little. I don't know what they call them, but they look like pawns. Pawn. Move off the square. It takes like 1.

[Caller 2]

1.

[Host]

You guys are drinking the Kool Aid. It's shuffleboard on ice.

[Caller 1]

But it. But it's hard.

[Vert]

But it. Yeah, I mean, you just watch it. Just watch it.

[Host]

Once. I wouldn't even wear. I wouldn't even wear my gold medal if I won one in curling.

[Caller 1]

Look.

[Host]

And you wouldn't be wearing Under Armour.

[Caller 2]

What?

[Vert]

Now let me tell you, you're not

[Host]

sweating curling under Armour.

[Vert]

Oh, they're all wearing it. He's never watched curling. No, but let me say also, I told Wendy, women, I want you to watch this because the Canadian curling team. I'm just being your wing woman. Okay. John Morris. Johnny Morris.

[Caller 1]

Johnny.

[Vert]

He is hot. And that will keep you. Cause I said, well, I'll give credit where credit suit. And this dude must be a model in Canada because he's a hot curler. Okay, I know that you didn't think I'd ever say that, but you gotta watch him. Johnny Morris in your bed. Amen, sister.

[Host]

Look, honey, who's gonna take Johnny to curling practice tonight? Come on now. Well, for the guys, really.

[Caller 1]

You know what? The guys can't get invested? The Dutch team. Those girls wear skirts and knee high. So there you go. They're freezing on the ice. And skirts. So you can watch curling.

[Vert]

Curling now.

[Caller 1]

Okay.

[Vert]

Come on, Karling.

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