Vault: You'll Never Guess What He's Requesting Of his Wife

Summary

---

The Bert Show – “Vault: You'll Never Guess What He's Requesting Of His Wife”

Release Date: January 15, 2026
Host: Bert and The Bert Show Cast (Kristin, Abby, Cassie, Tommy, et al.)
Featured Caller: Melanie (voice disguised)
Key Guests/Commentators: Jen (Expert), Crash, Stacy, Michelle, Bless (callers and recurring commentators)

---

Episode Overview

This episode dives deeply into a listener’s marital drama: Melanie calls in seeking advice about her husband’s request to bring another woman into their relationship, particularly during her pregnancy. The Bert Show cast, alongside expert Jen and various callers, dissect the emotional and relational implications of her husband’s request, the couple’s past, and the underlying communication struggles. The conversation is candid, funny at times, but also empathetic, focusing on respect, change in relationships, and the difficulties of mismatched expectations as life circumstances evolve.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Melanie’s Story: A Marriage in Transition

[01:18–05:53]

• Melanie reports feeling unattractive to her husband during her pregnancy. She’s gained 50 pounds and he avoids intimacy, which is a shift from before the pregnancy.
• Attempts to rekindle romance fail: Melanie notes, “I try to start it, and he'll get up or… make excuses not to have sex… He’ll want to do things away from the house.” ([01:42])
• Communication breaks down: Conversations about their sex life devolve into blame or arguments, with her husband accusing her of “holding a grudge or holding on to something that has happened in my past.” ([03:33])
• Husband’s request: He proposes bringing another woman into their bedroom to ‘fix’ the situation, referencing her prior openness to the idea and their history, which included some threesomes during earlier, more carefree days. ([04:38])
• Melanie is no longer comfortable with threesomes, citing her new identity as a mother and changes in how she feels about that kind of intimacy.

2. Sexual Intimacy & Pregnancy

[06:06–07:57]

• Bert and cast discuss common discomforts around sex during pregnancy:
  • Bert admits, “I didn't enjoy it that much… there was nothing sexy about it, nothing sensual.” ([06:23–06:55])
  • The group acknowledges some men are uncomfortable being intimate with a pregnant partner, sometimes for irrational reasons.
  • Physical and emotional barriers are common for both partners during pregnancy.

3. The History and the Proposal

[08:10–11:34]

• Swinger community connections: Melanie’s husband continues to push for swinging, with pressure mounting from his friends—who are swingers.
• Melanie’s hesitance is met with criticism: She shares, “I told him that’s not something I want to do because I’m a mother. And he’s like, ‘You’ve changed, I don’t understand why you don’t want to do something like that.’” ([11:34])
• Panel consensus: The group points out that wanting to change behaviors as life circumstances change is normal and expected. The problem is “they are not making a decision together.” ([11:01])
• Respect and flexibility: Bert reflects, “You start to become different people… and you have to be flexible with each other.” ([13:22])

4. Callers Weigh In: Different Perspectives

Michelle’s Analysis ([12:24–13:21])

• “They’re at different stages in their life, and they need some deep therapy… She wants to settle down. He’s probably still back there in Panama City trying to get his freak on.”

Crash on Change and Respect ([13:37])

• “Your respect level has to stay the same… You’ve gotta be able to move with the ebbs and flows of the relationship… he’s not showing her the same respect that he did when they first met.”

Bless’s Advice ([14:57–16:56])

• Raises the issue of infidelity: “If son is still doing this… then you might want to look in to see if he’s creeping around.”
• Offers encouragement: “All I can say, baby, is keep your head up… Everything will probably go back to normal. But if not, then you might want to take the suggestion you’re getting… that he might still be out there creeping or swinging with somebody else and not you.”

5. The Swingers Community: “Even swingers have a code”

[17:09–17:27]

• Jen points out that successful swinging relationships require mutual respect and explicit codes or agreements—something she feels is lacking for Melanie:
  • “Even in the swingers community, couples can remain solid because they have a code between them. And I don’t even think Melanie has that with her husband.”

6. Deeper Issues & The Path Forward

[18:03–19:30]

• Jen cautions against succumbing to pressure to lose pregnancy weight for sexual reasons: “You shouldn’t have to worry about losing the baby fat, especially for purposes like this… If you’ve never been with another couple with him, I don’t think starting now is going to improve your relationship.”
• There is broad agreement that the core problem isn’t swinging vs. monogamy, but poor communication, mismatched expectations, and respect.
• Counseling is discussed as a potential step:
  • Crash: “Would he go to counseling with you?” ([19:20])
  • Melanie: “I think he would. Yes.” ([19:22])
  • Jen: “Well, I think it’s worth it. You got two children together.” ([19:25])

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Bert, on intimacy during pregnancy:
  “I didn't enjoy it that much… She didn’t find a lot about it attractive either. And there was nothing sexy about it. There was nothing sensual about it.” ([06:23–06:55])

• Michelle, caller:
  “When you get older, your life cycle changes and your expectations of life changes. When they met, she was in Panama City doing threesomes and getting drunk… but now she’s a married woman, pregnant, and she wants to settle down. I see nothing wrong with that, except the fact that he’s probably still back there in Panama City trying to get his freak on.” ([12:24–13:02])

• Jen, expert, on the heart of the issue:
  “What I do think, though, is that there is a problem between the two of you… I don’t think that you are a part of that with him. Like, you’re not working together, right?” ([11:01])

• Bless, caller:
  “That’s the best loving any man can get in the world is when your woman is carrying your child… don’t let it stress you.” ([15:12–16:22])

• Jen, on respect among swingers:
  “Even in the swingers community, couples can remain solid because they have a code between them. And I don't even think Melanie has that with her husband.” ([17:13–17:27])

---

Key Timestamps

• 01:18–03:58: Melanie details her relationship struggles during pregnancy—avoidance, loss of intimacy, communication breakdown.
• 04:38–05:53: Husband’s request for another woman emerges; Melanie details their “threesome” history.
• 06:06–07:55: Candid discussion about the realities of pregnancy sex.
• 08:10–11:34: More on swinging, Melanie’s discomfort, and changing relationship dynamics.
• 12:24–14:14: Callers respond, emphasizing life stage changes and need for therapy.
• 14:57–16:56: Bless brings up the possibility of infidelity; offers support to Melanie.
• 17:09–17:27: Discussing the importance of “the swingers code.”
• 18:03–19:30: Summary advice—counseling, honest conversation, focusing on respect and shared values.

---

Takeaways

• Relationships need continual adjustment: Couples naturally change over time, and a willingness to adapt and communicate is critical.
• Shared agreements and respect matter: Whether in monogamous or non-monogamous relationships, both parties need clear agreements and mutual respect.
• Therapy and honest communication can help: The hosts and callers agree that Melanie and her husband would benefit from counseling and deeper, more authentic conversations about expectations, boundaries, and respect.
• It’s normal to change after becoming a parent: Many hosts, callers, and commentators affirm that changing desires and boundaries as life evolves—especially after having children—is normal and should be met with understanding rather than criticism.

---

Overall Mood:
Real, unfiltered, empathetic, and a little bit irreverent—true to The Bert Show’s morning-show vibe.

---

Transcript

[Raj]

Hey, it's Raj and Noah. And we're back with a new season of Am I Doing It Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

[Noah]

Because we're still doing a lot of stuff wrong.

[Raj]

But who isn't? That's why each week we're talking about the topics that we could all use a little helping hit with. Whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

[Noah]

We'll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right, so the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

[Raj]

Subscribe now and listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Noah]

And for the first time ever, we're gonna have full video episodes on YouTube. Because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're gonna be right here to help you do them better.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Love y'.

[Burt (Host)]

All.

[Verizon Announcer]

In a world where January is supposed to be boring, one staple of the holidays refuses to end the great deals. At Verizon, the joy just keeps on coming. Right now you can save on four new phones and four lines. Critics agree it's the deal that keeps on giving. Come into Verizon and save on four new phones and four lines on unlimited. Welcome. Additional terms applied. See verizon.com for details.

[Burt (Host)]

The Bird Show. All right, we're gonna need the voice disguiser for. We're gonna call her. Melanie here. Good morning, Melanie. You're on all the hits. Q100. Hi.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Hi. How are you?

[Burt (Host)]

Good. Your voice is completely disguised. There's no way anybody that can recognize it.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Okay, thank goodness.

[Burt (Host)]

Well, tell us. Give us all the details about your husband's proposal here. Because to us, it kind of sounds a little on the crazy side, but maybe there's something here we're not getting.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Well, when I found out that I was pregnant, you know, everything in the beginning was okay, or it was actually great. And then the further along I got, the less attracted it seems that he has gotten to me. It's like I try to start. You know, I try to start it, and he'll get up or he'll, you know, roll over and go to bed. I'm tired. Or make excuses not to. Not to have sex. And then I keep trying and trying and trying. I try different things, and it still doesn't seem to work. It's like he'll start arguments. Will. He'll want to do things away from the house to stay away from me, find things to do, hang out with his friends. And then I get jealous because he's been hanging out with his friends more than me. And he's like, I'm a man. I need my space. I can understand that. But it's like through the whole pregnancy, I don't really have. You know, we're not together that much. He finds. He works a lot. He finds side jobs on the weekends. And I'm just. I'm clueless. I don't know what to do.

[Burt (Host)]

Before the pregnancy, was he acting like this or was this just since you got pregnant?

[Melanie (Caller)]

Just since I've gotten pregnant.

[Burt (Host)]

And he hasn't come clean with you and said. I mean, because in your email it says you've gained 50 pounds with his child and he doesn't want to, you know, make love. You're assuming it's the £50. Has he said that?

[Melanie (Caller)]

No, he has not.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

Have you talked with him about. I mean, I know you say he starts arguments, but I'm just curious. Have you ever had a conversation with each other about your concern for your sex life and his response?

[Melanie (Caller)]

Yes, I have. And then it's like I'll end up blaming it on him and he'll end up blaming it on me, and then it'll just end up starting an argument.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

When he blames it on you, what does he say? If it's not the weight, what is it he said?

[Melanie (Caller)]

He says that I don't talk to him. We're actually talking at the moment. He says that for some reason he thinks that I'm holding a grudge or holding on to something that has happened in my past. And I don't understand where he's coming from. I'm not holding on to anything. He thinks it's the way I was brought up. I mean, it's just. It's different things like that that he'll bring into.

[Crash (Commentator)]

Is he frustrated? Is he frustrated with how much or, like, quality or quantity is his complaint?

[Melanie (Caller)]

Quality, Quality.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

Now, because, I mean, for somebody to say, to bring up something from your past, there has to be something consistent you've been doing. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's an awful deep response to you to say, well, you're holding onto a grudge. It's something from your past. What is he talking about?

[Melanie (Caller)]

You know, I have no clue. We've sat and talked about it, and then it's like he'll end up saying something else, you know, or bring something else into it. It's not like anything that I can really pinpoint and say the second layer.

[Burt (Host)]

Of this whole thing, because obviously you guys are having some communication stuff, issues going on. But when and how does he say to you, why don't we bring another woman into the bedroom and maybe that'll make everything okay?

[Melanie (Caller)]

Well, I mean, we've talked about it before. I've gotten married before I have another child before, I've gotten married before, I got pregnant with the first one. We've kind of talked about it. And then when we first got together, he was like, you know, that's one of the reasons why I got with you, because you said something that you would be interested in another woman. And then I got pregnant and we got married, and then it just. That was kind of put that on the back burner, you know, that wasn't one of the things that I wanted to pursue in our relationship.

[Burt (Host)]

Because you had become a mother at that point. You just felt differently about that.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Exactly.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay. It makes sense to me. Total sense to me.

[Crash (Commentator)]

But you were already a mother when you married him.

[Melanie (Caller)]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Crash (Commentator)]

Okay.

[Melanie (Caller)]

So when we got married, we had a child, and then we got married a couple months later. But that is his child. Both of my children are his.

[Crash (Commentator)]

Gotcha.

[Burt (Host)]

Okay. All right. In your past, there is a history of. Of threesomes.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Yes. And, you know, just a couple, you know, you know, in Panama City, drunk one night, you know, something like that.

[Stacy (Commentator)]

But really, you can't be held accountable for anything that happens in Panama City or Vegas.

[Burt (Host)]

It's like it never happened at all.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

I don't mean to go back just for a second, but you said both of the children are from him, right?

[Melanie (Caller)]

Correct.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

Did he treat you this way when you were pregnant the first time?

[Melanie (Caller)]

Not as much, but a little bit. Yes. I could see that he was a little standoffish.

[Crash (Commentator)]

I wonder, what if he's just got issues with having sex while you're pregnant? Like, some men freak. Freak out about that. Like, they think they're gonna, like, hit the baby or like.

[Burt (Host)]

I will be honest with you, and this won't put me in a really fantastic light with a lot of our listening audience, but I didn't enjoy it that much. Stacey didn't either. We both are really kind of weird. Yeah. I mean, I think we did it because we both had needs and we had to do it, but I wasn't a big fan of it, I gotta be honest with you.

[Crash (Commentator)]

For what reasons? Like, were you freaked out that there was a baby in there?

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah, I guess, you know, I suppose so. I think that. And just it's difficult. I'm not real good at it. Even under the best case circumstances, maneuvering.

[Crash (Commentator)]

Around a big belly is kind of hard.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Burt (Host)]

And you're, you know. Yeah. You're sensitive because she's not comfortable in to begin with. And I just didn't find a lot attractive about it. She didn't find a lot about it attractive about it either. And there was nothing sexy about it. There was nothing sensual about it. I know a lot of guys love it and I know a lot of women loved being pregnant, but I just. We both found nothing sexy about it whatsoever.

[Crash (Commentator)]

I've also heard that your boobs swell up and get really big. But it's kind of like, it's kind of like for. Not because they hurt.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah, it's God's cruel joke that he makes these, these big beautiful breasts. I mean, for you, for nine months, but it's so painful for your wife that you can't really enjoy him. It's God's cruel joke.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

Now, Melanie, do you think any of that is part of the reason or. I mean like, I'm still confused. I think by, you know, what his. Because I really don't think there's been communication between you of what the issues are. Like Jen said it could be something innocent instead of him judging you.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Uh huh. You know, I really, I really don't know. It's like, I mean, he says that I don't communicate. I try to communicate all the time with him. I tell him about what's going on and then when I, when I talk about it, he doesn't want to listen.

[Burt (Host)]

So when did he decide that bringing this other woman in was going to be a good idea?

[Melanie (Caller)]

I mean, from the very beginning. And then when I, I mean it's been like that and I think he's got that in his head that, you know, that's not something that I really want to do, you know, I mean, I'll consider it. Yeah. But it's just, I think that one of us will end up just being jealous, you know, or, you know, he's testing her, she's testing him. And it looks like he likes it more, she likes it more, you know, and it's just not something that I really want to do.

[Stacy (Commentator)]

So if this is, this is something that. Even before you were pregnant. Right, you said that.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Right.

[Stacy (Commentator)]

So is it important that this experience happens while you are pregnant to him, do you think?

[Melanie (Caller)]

No, I think that we actually went over to a friend's house a couple nights ago and they were just like, oh, I can't wait till you get back down to your side so we can do this officially. I think that he would feel more comfortable if I was not pregnant.

[Stacy (Commentator)]

Do what officially?

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah. Do what officially? Yeah. It sounds like he's making a deal for you.

[Melanie (Caller)]

No, I mean, being with another woman, you know.

[Stacy (Commentator)]

And this is in front of friends of yours?

[Melanie (Caller)]

Yes. Well, friends of his, yes.

[Stacy (Commentator)]

Are they swingers?

[Melanie (Caller)]

Yes.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

Are you guys. I mean, have you, have you agreed.

[Burt (Host)]

To be with this couple?

[Melanie (Caller)]

No, I haven't. He just kind of, he kind of put it up to me and just said, oh, yeah, when you're not pregnant, we're going to be with that couple. I'm like, it's like you're like some.

[Burt (Host)]

Kind of sex slave or something.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

Yeah. First of all, I think, yeah, I mean, you've got, I don't know, the communication between me because you said, well, they're his friends, not mine. Well, I mean, you're together, so you assume that, you know, friends are your friends.

[Burt (Host)]

It's very disrespectful.

[Crash (Commentator)]

Did you know he was a swinger or wanted to be a swinger when you married him?

[Melanie (Caller)]

Yes, I did. And then he knew. He knew that I was kind of up in the air about it.

[Burt (Host)]

Does that change?

[Crash (Commentator)]

This sounds like this is something that's been going on since the day you guys decided to get married or since before that even.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Uh huh. But it didn't really happen or he didn't really talk about it too much. He kind of talked about it here and there. When? Before I had the baby. And then when I had the baby, he started talking about it a lot more.

[Burt (Host)]

Look, your attitude changes once you, once you have a baby and you become a mom. I mean, in a lot of cases, things that might have been discussed before, ways you felt about some things were cool then, but the reality of a baby and being a mom changes things.

[Stacy (Commentator)]

We were just talking about still Stacy and the motorcycles.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah.

[Stacy (Commentator)]

Like something totally unrelated. Bert was saying that, you know, Stacy's a big fan of Harley's and likes riding motorcycles. And nothing would be hotter to her than Bert pulling up on one of those, you know, crotch rocket things. Motorcycles, wearing a leather jacket. But they made a decision when they had the baby that neither of them would do that because you have a baby now.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

But the difference is totally different world. They're not making a decision together. Like I. Your original email talked about finding another woman. Well, first of all, you know, I'm not A swinger. And I don't condone action out, you know, out within a committed relationship. So I am not, you know, going to condone that or help you with that. What I do think, though, is that there is a problem between the two of you. Like Jeff just said, and like we've said, you know, any, you know, I. Swingers, whatever. If it makes sense to you guys, then, you know, great for you. But the thing is, I don't think that you are a part of that with him. Like, you're not working together, right?

[Melanie (Caller)]

I mean, and I told him that, you know, that that's not something I really want to do because I'm a mother. And he's like, you've changed. I don't understand why you don't want to do something like that.

[Crash (Commentator)]

Well, it kind of goes back to what we were talking about earlier this morning with Crash's new girlfriend, like, you know, trying to curb his. His crazy behavior. It's the same thing. Like, you kind of married him, thinking, oh, well, he'll grow out of that. He'll change. He won't want to be a swinger anymore once he marries me, because he'll love me that much. But that's. He was that person before. He's that person now. And now you're upset about it because you maybe entertained the idea before, and now you're not anymore, but you're upset that he hasn't changed with you. You know what I'm saying? Which you have to do, and you have to make sacrifices in a couple. But you knew about this before it happened, right?

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

I mean, you knew this and you participated. I mean, you were that person, too.

[Burt (Host)]

Hey, Selena, you're on all the hits. Q100.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Good morning, guys. I don't know who pushed their crazy.

[Michelle (Caller)]

Buttons, but they really need to deactivate them. The problem with this is the. That they're at different stages in their life and they need some deep therapy. I think that the fact is, when you start off a relationship, they were both single, and maybe they were at different stages. You know, when you get older, your life cycle changes and your expectations of life changes. When they met, she was in Panama City doing threesomes and getting drunk, and probably he was at the same stage, but now she's a married woman, pregnant, and she wants to settle down. I see nothing wrong with that, except for the fact that he's probably still back there in Panama City trying to get his freak on.

[Stacy (Commentator)]

Well, there's a significant. Like, she's in Panama City, you know, Getting her freak out, doing the threesomes and getting drunk. And he's in Panama City getting drunk, trying to convince every single woman to participate in a threesome. And their path didn't cross in Panama City. And now it is his life's mission to accomplish that goal.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah, right.

[Michelle (Caller)]

I just think they're at totally different.

[Burt (Host)]

Stages, you know, from a guy that's been with the same woman for 11 years now and married for eight, you just become. You start to become different people than you were, you know, 10 years ago or whatever. And you have to be flexible with each other. I mean, there's just no way you can stay the same.

[Crash (Commentator)]

Well, your respect level has to stay the same, though. You have to respect each other the same way that you did at the beginning and realize that you're gonna change. He's gonna change. And you've gotta. Like you said, you've gotta be able to move with, you know, the ebbs and flows of the relationship. And he's gotta. He's gotta be more respectful. Cause that's the thing, is, he's not showing her the same respect that he did when they first met.

[Burt (Host)]

There have been a whole bunch of times in our relationship, mine and my wife's relationship, where we have had to sit down with each other and say, you know, what was totally cool in the relationship when we first met. Or even for the first couple of years, I can't handle anymore. And we've had to adjust to that. And I think it's kind of the same situation here, maybe. Hey, Michelle, you're on all the hits. Q100. Hi.

[Michelle (Caller)]

Hey. How are y' all doing this morning?

[Noah]

Good.

[Burt (Host)]

How are you doing?

[Michelle (Caller)]

Great. He should worship the guy she walks while she's pregnant with his baby. Even though people do change, he needs to learn how to grow up. You know, when you have children, you do change.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

Take the airbrush shirt off from pcb, move on through life.

[Stacy (Commentator)]

He's still got a airbrushed, you know, license plate on the front of his.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

Car with three hearts, not just two.

[Burt (Host)]

He's still walking around the dog with the leash, but there's no dog on it.

[Stacy (Commentator)]

He's got. His T shirt actually says Melissa and Jeff in Jen Forever. Forever.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

All airbrushed with a palm tree.

[Burt (Host)]

Not a lot of people calling up saying, hey, it sounds great. Bring the woman in. What's your problem? Hey, bless. What's going on?

[Bless (Caller)]

What's going on? Burt, babe, how are you?

[Burt (Host)]

Good, man. How are you?

[Bless (Caller)]

I'm doing all right now. It's actually saying that one, if son is still doing this, still wants to bring the other woman in, then you might want to look in to see if he's creeping around.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

Yeah, because that kind of goes back to what Jen was just saying about respect. I'm wondering if when they were, you know, kind of swinging or interested in swinging in the beginning, if he respected her completely, you know what I'm saying?

[Bless (Caller)]

Because if one, she spoiled him, you know what I mean? Because she brought in the swinger from the beginning. So you gave him his cake and you let him eat him too. So he just continued to kick the bobo until he really got the cake and eating it too. So since that happened, now you are married, you all got kids and you know, he's. A lot of men are scared to sleep with their wives or whomever when they're pregnant, which I think is the dumbest thing in the world. Because that's when a woman is at her best. That's the best loving any man can get in the world is when you woman is carrying your child. I don't care what nobody say, that's the best loving you're gonna get. All I can say, baby, is keep your head up. Now I'm saying don't let it stress you. He'll eventually calm down and get over it. Once you drop the baby, everything will probably go back to normal. But if not, then you might want to take the suggestion you getting a bobo kick to you and that he might still be out there creeping or swinging with somebody else and not you.

[Stacy (Commentator)]

I think that she should bring this guy home and say, look, you want to have a three way, that way I want to have a three way with this guy.

[Burt (Host)]

Right?

[Stacy (Commentator)]

See how that works?

[Bless (Caller)]

That might work too. And see how he will feel that that's something she should do. She should bring that. And then you can see how the tables turned. And if he disagree, then you already know that it was just BS from Jump Street. So all I can say is, baby, keep your head up. Congratulations on your baby. Good looking out. Burt in the morning show. And everybody be easy.

[Burt (Host)]

Bless. I love when you call in, man. You got a green light, dude. Whenever you want to call in, get in, dude.

[Bless (Caller)]

I appreciate you, baby.

[Stacy (Commentator)]

If I ever meet you in person, I would be disappointed if you're not wearing a big clock around your neck.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

No, yeah, he was actually. He was at Wellness one on Saturday.

[Stacy (Commentator)]

Oh, really? Yeah.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

Well, now even swingers have a code, you know, like I do things.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Swingers code.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

Seriously, We've talked to swingers before. There's a there. I mean, again, it goes back to Jen's comment about respect level. I mean, even in, in the swingers community, couples can remain solid because they have a code between them. And I don't even think Melanie has that with her husband.

[Burt (Host)]

You know, it's like we, we can be with another couple, but once you start talking or once you start dating somebody outside of the three or four of us, that's when things get a little murky in that whole thing is what we've learned. All right. Good morning, Melanie, you're. You're back on the voice disguiser.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Okay.

[Burt (Host)]

I could take a hundred calls and nobody is calling up and saying this is a really great idea.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Well, you know, we have never actually been with another couple.

[Burt (Host)]

Right.

[Melanie (Caller)]

This is just something, you know, that was the thing in Panama City was before we got together, we didn't meet in Panama City. We met at a job that we both used to work at.

[Burt (Host)]

I think people were talking figuratively, though, like, his mind is still in Panama City or whatever. And you're a mother now of two and you're just not there. And most are calling up saying, hey, you know what? You've got to explain to him that that person is gone now.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

And my concern also is, first of all, you mentioned in the email about the weight gain. So obviously you're self conscious about that. Secondly, friends as well as your husband saying, oh, can't wait to get back down to your regular size, whatever. So then there'll be that pressure to worry about after you have your child when you shouldn't have to worry about losing the baby fat, especially for purposes like this. And if you've never been with another couple with him, I don't think starting now is going to improve your relationship. Because, I mean, if you bring another woman in and let's say that she's, you know, in physical shape, that's different than yours, and you're self conscious even being with her. Like, it's not going to ever be good for you to do that, you know, So I just, I, Yeah, I, I think you need. I think there are deeper issues between you and him.

[Burt (Host)]

Yeah, that's what most are calling up and saying, Melanie.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

You know, and that this is a family, so you're gonna have to, I don't know, you're just gonna. Somehow you're gonna have to communicate with your husband. I know he says he's tried, you've tried, but obviously whatever you're doing is not working. So you gotta try something new.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Right?

[Crash (Commentator)]

Would he go to counseling with you?

[Melanie (Caller)]

I think he would. Yes.

[Burt (Host)]

There's a start.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

Well, I think it's worth it. You got two children together.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Uh huh. To save our marriage.

[Jen (Expert/Commentator)]

Yeah.

[Burt (Host)]

Well, you gotta. Yeah. You guys made a commitment to each other. You gotta do everything. I think, man, before you decide to go separate ways, you gotta try everything.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Right.

[Burt (Host)]

All right, Melanie, we gotta roll on.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Okay. Well, thank you so much.

[Burt (Host)]

Appreciate you calling the bird show.

[Verizon Announcer]

In a world where January is supposed to be boring, one staple of the holidays refuses to end the great deals at Verizon. The joy just keeps on coming. Right now you can save on four new phones and four lines. Critics agree it's the deal that keeps on giving. Come into Verizon and save on four new phones and four lines on unlimited. Welcome. Additional terms [e-mail] for details.

[Raj]

Hey, it's Raj and Noah. And we're back with a new season of Am I Doing It Wrong? The show that explores the all too human anxieties we have about trying to get our lives right.

[Noah]

Because we're still doing a lot of stuff wrong.

[Raj]

But who isn't? That's why each week we're talking about the topics that we could all use a little helping hit with. Whether it's making new friends as an adult, managing our emotions, or even dreaming.

[Noah]

We'Ll be talking to experts in their fields who are definitely doing things right. So the rest of us can be a bit wiser and a lot better equipped to handle whatever life throws at us.

[Raj]

Subscribe now and listen to new episodes of Am I Doing It Wrong? Dropping every Thursday starting January 1st, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Noah]

And for the first time ever, we're going to have full video episodes on YouTube. Because as long as there are things to get wrong, we're going to be right here to help you do them better.

[Melanie (Caller)]

Love y'.

[Burt (Host)]

All.

[Verizon Announcer]

With endless scroll algorithms and AI flooding.

[Burt (Host)]

Feeds, podcasting stands out. They're sought, not served. Audiences actively choose to hear trusted voices on topics they care about. In fact, 72% of listeners say podcasts shape cultural conversations. For marketers, that means podcasts shift brand perception like no other channel. Acast's Podcast Pulse 2025 report has the Proof. Proof. Get all the insights at podcastpulse2025.com.