Podcast
The Best of You
Hosted by Dr. Alison Cook · EN
Join therapist and author, Dr. Alison Cook, as she guides you through some of your toughest challenges with wisdom, kindness, and grace. Together with friends and experts we'll unpack the best of psychology from a faith-based perspective. You’ll discover how to break free from painful patterns, mend your past, and discover what brings out the best of you.
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Episodes
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216. Forgiveness Without Self-Abandonment: How to Forgive Without Ignoring the Harm with Amy Ore-Ewing
1w ago00:58:55Tap to summarize"Can I forgive someone and still keep healthy boundaries?" "Why does forgiveness still feel impossible?" Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful teachings of the Christian faith—and one of the most misunderstood. Many of us learned that forgiveness meant moving on quickly, letting go of our anger, or restoring a relationship before trust had been rebuilt. But what if forgiveness isn't about minimizing harm at all? In this episode, Dr. Alison Cook sits down with theologian, author, and advocate Dr. Amy Orr-Ewing to explore a richer, more biblically grounded understanding of forgiveness. Together they unpack the difference between forgiveness, reconciliation, justice, and repair—and why naming the truth of what happened is an essential part of healing. Whether you're navigating family wounds, betrayal, church hurt, or simply wondering why forgiveness feels so difficult, this conversation offers both compassion and hope. You'll learn: Why forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. How forgiveness differs from denying or minimizing harm. Why anger can be a healthy and necessary part of healing. How forgiveness and justice can exist together. What Scripture teaches about forgiveness after abuse or betrayal. Why forgiveness is often a journey rather than a single decision. How God's grace empowers forgiveness without requiring self-abandonment. Forgiveness isn't pretending the wound never happened. It's telling the truth about what was lost while slowly allowing God's grace to heal what was broken. Make sure to check out Amy’s new book, “Forgiveness: Reclaiming Its Power in a Culture of Outrage and Fear” More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 78: The Mental Health Benefits of Forgiveness and Thoughts on Grace with Max Lucado 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! MOSH - Start building brain health into your every day with MOSH bars. Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU25 and subscribe today to get 25% OFF your first Variety Pack and 20% off your monthly subscription with code BESTOFYOU25. That’s 25% off your first pack and 20% off your subscription of brain-boosting bars delivered straight to your door. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Stop Letting Fear Make You Feel Smaller Than You Are
2w ago00:10:06Tap to summarizeToday's Scripture: Numbers 13:25–33 What do you do when fear makes a hard conversation, new opportunity, or uncertain future feel bigger than your capacity to face it? Today’s Scripture shows how fear can distort self-perception, magnify obstacles, and make us feel like “grasshoppers in our own eyes.” This episode helps you notice fear without letting it shrink your sense of God, yourself, or what is possible. You’ll learn:*How fear can become a lens that distorts reality*Why courage is not the absence of fear*How fear magnifies obstacles and minimizes your capacity*Why remembering God’s faithfulness helps restore perspective*One brave next step you can take without solving the whole futureGo Deeper: Listen to Episode 41, “Boundaries With Fear and Anxiety,” and explore the free Boundaries for Your Soul resources Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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How to Love Someone Without Trying to Control Them
2w ago00:09:23Tap to summarizeToday's Scripture: Luke 13:34–35 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**What do you do when someone you love will not come close, receive help, or change the pattern that is hurting them? Today’s Scripture gives us a tender and honest picture of Jesus longing to gather Jerusalem like a hen gathers her chicks —and grieving that they were not willing. This episode helps you love deeply without overfunctioning, chasing, fixing, or taking responsibility for someone else’s response. You’ll learn: *Why love can be fully offered and still refused*How overfunctioning often grows out of anxiety and attachment distress*Why Jesus grieves without controlling*The difference between loving someone and becoming responsible for their agency*How to love with both tenderness and limits Go Deeper: Pre-order The Secure Soul and learn how to recognize the controller part of you that’s trying to help — and return it to love. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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How to Stop Obsessing Over Someone Who Hurt You and Seems to Be Winning
2w ago00:10:10Tap to summarizeToday's Scripture: Psalm 37:1–8 What do you do when someone who hurt you seems to be winning? Today’s Scripture speaks into the anger, grief, resentment, and fixation that can rise up when people do harm and appear to get away with it. This episode helps you care about justice without letting someone else’s wrongdoing take over your inner life. You’ll learn: *Why “do not fret” means more than “do not worry” *How your nervous system can get locked onto someone else’s wrongdoing *The difference between righteous concern and corrosive fixation *Why Psalm 37 is grounding, not spiritual bypassing *One question to ask: What is mine to do, and what is God’s to hold? Go Deeper: Share this episode with someone who’s struggling to stop replaying what happened. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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When God Doesn’t Remove the Thing You Begged Him to Change
2w ago00:10:24Tap to summarizeToday's Scripture: 2 Corinthians 12:7–10 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**What do you do when you’ve prayed for something to change—and it still hasn’t? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on one of the most uncomfortable passages in the New Testament: Paul’s thorn in the flesh. Paul pleads with God three times for it to be removed, and God does not remove it. Instead, God gives him a promise: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” We explore: *Why unresolved pain can feel so hard to carry*What Paul’s thorn teaches us about weakness and grace*The difference between acceptance and resignation*How fighting what cannot be changed can compound suffering*What it means for Christ’s power to “rest” on us in weakness Go Deeper: Episode 208: Spiritual Dryness, Burnout, and the Desert Seasons of Faith with Tish Harrison Warren Read I Shouldn’t Feel This Way to learn more about naming what’s hard and discerning whether to change it, leave it, or suffer wisely Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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215. 5 Toxic Patterns + The Family Role You Didn’t Choose But Still Carry
2w ago00:47:11Tap to summarizeHave you ever noticed how quickly old patterns resurface when you're around family? Maybe you find yourself walking on eggshells. Struggling to voice your preferences. Feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions. Or slipping back into roles you thought you'd left behind years ago. In this episode, Dr. Alison revisits one of the most requested conversations from the podcast, exploring how the dynamics we experienced growing up continue to shape our relationships today. Through the lens of attachment theory, boundaries, and family systems, Alison unpacks five common patterns that can influence the way we show up with the people we love—and how awareness is the first step toward healing. You'll learn: *Why family relationships can pull us back into old roles *What enmeshment is—and how it differs from healthy closeness *Five family patterns that often follow us into adulthood *How childhood experiences shape the way we handle conflict, boundaries, and relationships *Practical steps to help you begin breaking free from unhealthy dynamics Healing begins by telling the truth with wisdom, compassion, and truth—so you can love others without losing yourself. More Resources: You can now preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide! Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 194: When Relationships Start to Drain You—Using Discernment to Stay Connected Without Losing Yourself Episode 178 How to Recognize Toxic Tactics, and Stop Taking the Bait 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Help May Be Closer Than You Think
3w ago00:09:35Tap to summarizeToday's Scripture: Genesis 21:14–19 What if the help you need is closer than you can see right now? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the story of Hagar in the wilderness—a woman who had been used, cast out, and left to survive what she did not choose. When the water runs out, Hagar reaches the end of herself. But God hears, draws near, and opens her eyes to a well that was already there. We explore: *Why despair narrows our vision Need help finding the well in front of you?Visit dralisoncook.com/podcast and use the search bar to type in whatever you’re carrying today—anxiety, grief, shame, boundaries, resentment, burnout, or anything else that feels heavy. You’ll find past episodes and conversations with experts that may offer the next small mercy, resource, or perspective you need. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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What To Do When You Step Out in Faith and Start to Panic
3w ago00:10:04Tap to summarizeToday's Scripture: Matthew 14:22–33**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.**Have you ever taken a risk, stepped out in faith, and then wondered if you made a mistake? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on the story of Peter walking on water toward Jesus. Peter begins with courage, but when the wind picks up, fear takes over and he starts to sink. This passage reminds us that fear does not mean faith has disappeared—it may mean our attention has become divided. We explore:*Why courage can feel frightening after we step out*How fear narrows our attention and distorts what we see*Why Peter’s sinking was not the end of the story*What it means that Jesus reaches out immediately Go Deeper: Learn more about steadying yourself through fear in my new book The Secure Soul. Start reading now when you preorder. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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When Your Spirit Feels Drained and You’re Barely Holding On
3w ago00:09:39Tap to summarizeIn today’s episode, Dr. Alison reflects on David’s honest prayer: “My spirit fails.” This is not a polished prayer or a failure of faith. It is a truthful prayer from a depleted soul. If you’re still functioning on the outside but feel dry, drained, or quietly unraveling on the inside, this passage gives you language for coming to God exactly as you are. We explore: *Why depletion is not laziness or spiritual failure *How emotional exhaustion impacts your nervous system *What actually helps restore us *Next steps to take when you're feeling depleted Go Deeper: If today’s devotion helped you feel less alone, share it with someone who might need the same encouragement. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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What If I Believe I Don’t Deserve Anything?
3w ago00:10:47Tap to summarizeToday's Scripture: Ephesians 1:3–12 **Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** Why is it so hard to receive a love that's freely given—especially if you’ve learned that love has to be earned, approval is conditional, or goodness is for other people? In today’s episode, Dr. Alison Cook reflects on Paul’s astonishing words about blessing, belovedness, adoption, redemption, forgiveness, and grace. Before Paul gives the Ephesians instructions for how to live, he reminds them who they already are in Christ. We explore: *Why responsibility can feel safer than receiving*What a shame schema is and how it filters out goodness*Why love, grace, and belonging can feel threatening*The difference between entitlement and true belonging*How to live from belovedness instead of working for it Go Deeper: If you struggle to sense God’s love, check out Dr. Alison’s new book The Secure Soul - start reading today when you preorder. Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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