Why do I feel guilty for protecting my time or energy?

Is this a boundary—or am I just avoiding someone?

Boundaries stir up a lot of emotions. But what if they’re not about building walls, avoiding people, or being “selfish”?

In this episode, I share a deeply personal and surprising take on what boundaries truly are—and why they matter more than you think.

You'll hear:

*Why healthy boundaries begin not with rejection, but with rhythm

*The two most common ways we misuse boundaries

*A powerful metaphor that changed how I think about relationships

*How codependency, enmeshment, and burnout signal boundary issues

*Real-life scripts and strategies to set boundaries with compassion and clarity

Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.

Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.

If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love:

Episode 124: Boundaries & Numbing—How to Set Healthy Limits and Stop Avoiding Your Feelings
Episode 24: Boundaries, the Spectrum of Toxicity, and a Note About Evil
Episode 7: Why Are Boundaries So Hard to Set?

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Editing by Giulia Hjort

Music by Andy Luiten

Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.

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155: A Fresh Take on Boundaries—Prioritize What Matters, Avoid Burnout, and Navigate Toxicity

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