B&T Extra: A Josh Joke fail, Listener letters, & Paul Lynde

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Extra: A Josh Joke Fail, Listener Letters, & Paul Lynde

Episode Date: May 21, 2026
Podcast: The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast
Episode Theme:
This lively episode features the familiar cast riffing on failed jokes, quirky listener letters, classic musical theater, notable TV icons, and offbeat news – all delivered with the show's signature mix of quick wit, playful teasing, and affectionate nostalgia. Unexpected stories and raucous tangents abound as the crew delivers running gags and comedic banter, making for a packed and entertaining listen.

---

Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Tim's Blues: A Comedic Song Routine

[02:19 – 06:05]

• Summary:
  Tim kicks things off with a tongue-in-cheek blues number, joking about his "blues" ranging from zoo monkeys bursting into flames, to friends who “learned the metric system behind my back,” and social absurdities like being the only person with ham at a BBQ or high schoolers discussing glue and babysitting.
• Notable Quotes:
  • "Going to the zoo the day the monkeys burst into flames... than being questioned by the cops because they found anti-monkey literature in my car." – Tim [02:41]
  • "Finding out that my friends went behind my back and learned the metric system. Loan I'm down buried me six feet under or about two meters. I don't know the difference." – Tim [03:18]
• Memorable Moment:
  • Harmonica solo and pseudo-scatted blues breakdown, with “They call me Fingers Kavanaugh... I got carpal tunnel from the way I play.”
  • Multiple absurd scenarios delivered rapid-fire.

---

2. Josh's Joke “Fail” & Dressing Debate

[06:13 – 07:36]

• Summary:
  Tom tries out the classic, “What did the bottle of ranch say to the refrigerator? Close the door, I’m dressing.” The crew reacts with mock groans, dad-joke appreciation, and a brief debate on the usage of the word "dressing" for salad condiments.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “Did your niece tell you that?” – Pat [06:30]
  • “Will you tell your girls that?” – Tom [06:45]
  • “I don’t use the word 'dressing' for salad dressing very often.” – Josh [07:14]
  • “Well, you’re dressing a salad, but you can also drink, not putting ranch on it, right?” – Tom [07:34]

---

3. Listener Letters & Paul Lynde Stories

[07:49 – 12:31]

• Summary:
  The cast reads a letter from a stage hand who, while working tech for “Bye Bye Birdie,” realizes the fun of classic musicals and Paul Lynde’s campy charismatic role. A tangent follows, highlighting Lynde anecdotes, his closeted-yet-obvious persona, and legendary Hollywood Squares quips.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “Paul Lynde, ladies and gentlemen.” – Bob [08:22]
  • “Mr. Lynde, I’ve always wondered, are you gay? And Paul Lynde looked at him and said, ‘What have you been living under an effing rock?’” – Tom [10:11]
  • “He was a real gentleman. A little nasty when he got drunk, but in a funny way.” – Alex [09:44]
• Memorable Moments:
  • Discussion of Paul Lynde’s influence on Roger the Alien from American Dad [11:43].
  • Behind-the-scenes stories of Lynde’s quirks, including his time with the Kenley Players, dog-filled airport pickups, and saucy trailer inspection.

---

4. Classic TV and Movie Nostalgia

[12:31 – 13:57]

• Summary:
  Comedic commentary on the odd career paths of TV actors (Andy Griffith as Matlock, Jack Klugman as Quincy), and tangent on “sweatiest movies” (12 Angry Men, Das Boot, Body Heat).
• Notable Quotes:
  • “That was that weird phase where great comic actors like Andy Griffith became a cop.” – Bob [13:02]
  • “Remember the Father Dowling mysteries... even the Cosby Mysteries was a show for a season or two.” – Tom [13:14]
  • “What’s in the drink is the mystery.” – Alex [13:26] (Cosby reference joke)

---

5. News Oddity: The Seizure, the Kick, and the Tumor

[13:58 – 15:34]

• Summary:
  Josh reads news about Mark Toothaker, a Giants fan who laughed so hard at kicker Younghoe Koo’s botched field goal that he had a seizure—leading to the discovery and removal of a benign (B9) brain tumor.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “You get your young weiku with brown rice or white rice?” – Tom [14:23]
  • “The scene made the 59-year-old Toothaker laugh so hard it caused a seizure... a CT scan revealed a tennis ball sized tumor.” – Josh [14:34]
  • “Thank goodness for that.” – Tom [15:34]
• Memorable Moment:
  • Running joke on Asian cuisine with Younghoe Koo's name; “He now has spider super strength.” – Josh [15:53]

---

6. Sperm Racing World Championships Story & Riffing

[16:24 – 21:11]

• Summary:
  The hosts unpack a bizarre news story about the inaugural Sperm Racing World Championships, poking fun at the contest, regulations, and “athletes.” This launches a series of puns, euphemisms, and escalating jokes about the logistics of sperm racing.
• Notable Quotes:
  • “How do they pin the numbers on them?” – Guest [17:23]
  • “You're spermist.” – Tom [17:35]
  • “Are you through?” – Bob [18:49] (after an onslaught of euphemisms like ‘man chowder’ and ‘baby batter’)
  • “There's a lady in the photo... it says ‘I feel the need for seed.’” – Bob [19:01]
  • “Should we send somebody to the sperm race? ...It’d have to be Tom. He’s obviously got the…” – Pat [19:45, 19:54]
  • “I'd be very careful at the coffee bar... We're out of the half and half here.” – Bob [20:50]
  • “We've got some Harvey Milk.” – Tom [20:58] (double entendre referencing Harvey Milk)
• Memorable Moments:
  • Extended riff of sperm euphemisms and logistics of the competition
  • Reference to Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex and Groucho Marx's girlfriend

---

7. Science, Puns, and Final Gags

[21:11 – 21:47]

• Summary:
  Further riffing on previous sperm races, including a tongue-in-cheek reference to saltine crackers and finishing off with the classic “shoot the horse” joke for a sperm who “breaks its tail.”
• Quote:
  • “If a sperm breaks its tail... they have to shoot it.” – Bob [21:39]
  • “They bring up that tiny, tiny tent.” – Tom [21:42]

---

8. The 'Alien Who Just Discovered Things' Sketch

[21:55 – 22:07]

• Summary:
  Quick sketch gag about an alien baffled by expiring passports.

---

Standout Quotes & Banter

• “Paul Lynde looked at him and said, 'What have you been living under an effing rock?’” – Tom [10:11]
• “I always go brown either… I always get extra water chestnuts.” – Tim, riffing on the kicker’s name [14:25]
• “Should we send somebody to the sperm race?” – Tom [19:42]
• “I'd be very careful at the coffee bar. Room for cream. We're out of the half and half here.” – Bob [20:50]
• “We've got some Harvey Milk.” – Tom [20:58]

---

Episode Tone & Highlights

• Classic BOB & TOM: playful, pun-heavy, and riff-driven
• Lively debate over “dressing,” plenty of dad-joke energy
• Deep dive into pop culture and nostalgia for TV and Broadway
• Edgy, irreverent humor around sperm races, double entendres, and anatomy

---

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Tim’s Blues Routine: [02:19 – 06:05]
• Ranch Joke Segment: [06:13 – 07:36]
• Paul Lynde & Listener Letter: [07:49 – 12:31]
• Classic TV/Movie Banter: [12:31 – 13:57]
• Tumor Discovery Story: [13:58 – 15:34]
• Sperm Racing News and Riffing: [16:24 – 21:47]
• Alien Sketch: [21:55 – 22:07]

---

A must-listen for fans of wordplay, classic showbiz stories, and the show’s signature rapid-fire wit – the episode moves briskly from musical parody to news-of-the-weird, doused throughout with affectionate teasing and laughter.

Transcript

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[Christopher]

Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom Extra. This is Christopher not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon we'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything on today's big show, a Josh Ranch joke, fail plus listener letters and Paul Lind. It's all coming up right after this.

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[Tim]

Ladies and gentlemen, I got the blues. Well actually I'm colorblind so I'm not exactly sure what I got, but I think it's the blues. I gotta share it. This is Tim's blues. Sing it Tim. Yeah People sometimes ask me, they say Tim, what gives you the blues? Well people let me tell you some of the things that give me the blues. Like going to the zoo the day the monkeys burst into flames than being questioned by the cops cause they found anti monkey literature in my car or ordering chicken on a spit from a waiter who seems to get everything backwards. Finding out that my friends went behind my back and learned the metric system. Loan I'm down buried me six feet under or about two meters. I don't know the difference. That's not all. I get the blues. Every time I go to this bar run by manic depressives. They make the mistake of staying 10 minutes past the end of happy hour. Then overhearing some high school girls exchanging babysitting secrets, discussing how many tubes of glue it takes to keep a two year old on the ceiling long enough so you can and watch Melrose Place undisturbed. Then going to a barbecue where I'm the only person there with ham. Next be to open all the vinyls and cams. Come on, Tim, blow your heart. Stand for my harmonica solo. Play it, baby. You know they call me Fingers Kavanaugh. You the man that's like I carpal tunnel syndrome from the way I play. Gonna whale on this thing for you now. Here we go.

[Bob]

Thank you.

[Tim]

Scat for me. You the blues man.

[Tom]

Scat for me.

[Tim]

Team. Just as I'm sinking into the depths of depression, one of my friends comes up to me and you know, if things could be worse, I mean, at least you're not related to Suzanne Summers or Sandy Duncan or Sandy Donaldson. Just as I'm beginning to feel better about myself, I get a phone call from my Uncle Jim neighbors asking whether I'd found any copies of Dead Monkey Digest that maybe he left in the backseat of my car. I said, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo, Jim Bo. Jim. Yes, I did. What you doing with those monkeys, Jim?

[Bob]

Thank you. You asked it, you got it.

[Tim]

More Bob and Tom. This is Bob and Tom.

[Josh]

Extra Tom. Josh has asked a question.

[Tom]

This is. This is what I'm positing.

[Josh]

Okay.

[Bob]

Okay, go ahead.

[Tom]

What did the bottle of ranch say to the refrigerator?

[Bob]

I give up.

[Tom]

Close the door. I'm dressing.

[Bob]

Oh, very nice.

[Pat]

Did your niece tell you that?

[Tom]

No, but I have told my niece that.

[Pat]

Yes.

[Tom]

And she shook her head and walked away.

[Josh]

They grow up so fast.

[Bob]

That's nice. That's enough. That's a very fine joke.

[Josh]

That's a cute joke.

[Tom]

Will you tell your girls that?

[Josh]

Sure.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Bob]

Will they get it?

[Tim]

Yes.

[Pat]

They know what ranch dressing is

[Tom]

and we've all experienced.

[Josh]

Hey.

[Tom]

Hey.

[Pat]

Knock.

[Tom]

I'm dressing.

[Josh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom]

Close the door.

[Pat]

Oh, my gosh.

[Josh]

What do you mean?

[Pat]

Wait a minute.

[Josh]

What do you Mean, will they get it? What.

[Bob]

What did.

[Tom]

How did you. I say bottle of ranch.

[Bob]

Okay. That's the thing. I'm not sure.

[Tom]

Right, right, right, right.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Tom]

You don't want to say because you

[Bob]

can't say, what are the ranch dressings?

[Tom]

Okay.

[Bob]

I don't say.

[Josh]

I guess I don't use the word dressing for salad dressing very often.

[Bob]

That's why I'm asking.

[Josh]

I'm not sure I say Italian or French or ranch. I don't say ranch dressing or French dressing.

[Tom]

Oh, sure. But sometimes you'll. Will anybody. What dressing do you have on there? Or what dressing would you like?

[Josh]

I've heard that, yes.

[Bob]

It is an odd word, isn't it?

[Pat]

It.

[Tom]

Dressing.

[Josh]

Dressing. Yeah.

[Pat]

Well, you're dressing a salad dressing up

[Tom]

the salad, but you can also drink, not putting ranch on it, Right?

[Pat]

No, that's true.

[Josh]

Remember the Bugs Bunny where he dresses up the chicken? Yeah. Ready to go. General. Puts them all in top hats, never

[Bob]

mind dress up your dog, which they hate. Okay, this is a nice letter here.

[Josh]

Let's see about that.

[Bob]

Dear Bob and Tom Show. This is a guy doing tech.

[Tom]

Oh, okay.

[Bob]

Doing tech at a stage play.

[Josh]

And he, like, you like the backstage crew.

[Bob]

Oh, yeah. It wasn't stage crew.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Many, many years he's at a community theater. They're putting on Bye Bye Birdie, which he'd never seen.

[Tom]

Oh, he'd never seen it.

[Josh]

Well, that's surprising. It was only 100 years ago they did it.

[Bob]

He couldn't figure out where he'd heard this song. Remember this one?

[Alex]

Well, because of you,

[Bob]

Paul Lind, ladies and gentlemen.

[Josh]

You know, this is the basis of all of my nightmares.

[Alex]

Speaking of long injuries.

[Pat]

Yeah. No joke.

[Tim]

Ed Sullivan,

[Tom]

me, Harry McAfee appearing with.

[Bob]

It's a great song.

[Tom]

That's an amusing moment.

[Alex]

Like a little.

[Bob]

It's so great.

[Alex]

Throw away, Byebye.

[Guest]

They talk about Ed Sullivan.

[Tom]

Yeah. Paul Lynn should have been giving you an Oscar for playing the patriarch of

[Josh]

a family when he's saying. Know what, though? I've just realized right now, I do enjoy seeing you enjoy that so much. I. I never see you until.

[Bob]

It's a great play. It's. It's based on kind of Elvis going into the army.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Bob]

And this guy, There's a contest that there's going to be one last kiss before he goes into the army with a guy named Conrad Birdie, who's kind of an Elvis like guy.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Josh]

And Paul Lynn's gonna kiss somebody.

[Bob]

No, no, no, no.

[Tom]

Wow.

[Guest]

So Paul Lynn was a theater actor.

[Bob]

He's great. In fact, Pat Godwin met him at the. Which theater was it?

[Alex]

Kenley Players from the airport and drove him around for a whole week.

[Bob]

Did he have his dogs with him?

[Josh]

He did.

[Alex]

And his partner? Yeah.

[Josh]

Did he try to drive you around?

[Alex]

No, no. He was a real gentleman. A little nasty when he got drunk, but in a funny way. He was really funny.

[Tom]

I can only. It must have been riotous.

[Bob]

Yeah, they. And I remember reading about that he was on Hollywood Squares, famously.

[Josh]

That's how I know they eventually had

[Bob]

to get a limo or I'm Bewitched on High Street.

[Alex]

Chick would. I'm sorry, did I cut you off?

[Bob]

Well, they. They had to get a limo because he was apparently tipsy so much they didn't let him get into a car accident.

[Guest]

And so did everybody just think he was an actor or Everybody knew he was gay?

[Pat]

Everybody knew.

[Alex]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

There is a story of. I forget who the celebrity is, but he was in an elevator with Paul Lynde. And I'll clean this up, okay? Because as Pat said, apparently Paul Lynde could get salty. But he. And he looked at him, he goes, Mr. Lind, I've always wondered, are you gay? And Paul Lynde looked at him. Looked at him and said, what have you been living under an effing rock? So while he wasn't out.

[Guest]

Right.

[Josh]

He was.

[Tom]

It was.

[Guest]

Everybody assumed, I'll try to clean.

[Alex]

I'll try to clean up. What he said to me. I picked him up from the airport. They were loaded. Two little poodles and a high street chicken. Or high street is of course, Columbus, Ohio.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Alex]

And where the Veterans. Veterans Memorial Auditorium behind that was a trailer, like an actual trailer where they kept the star. Henry Winkler was there. Vincent Price people. And the week after, Henry Winkler up. They didn't. I took him to the trailer and they hadn't cleaned the trailer yet, so I took him to the trailer.

[Josh]

Oh, my God. You can't tell this story. Go ahead.

[Alex]

I'm not gonna say the word.

[Bob]

He.

[Alex]

He used the. He used the P word, though.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Alex]

Female yeah, yeah. So I opened the door with the key, I let him in. He goes, oh, my goodness, it smells like the P word in here. And he goes, I think.

[Tom]

I don't know. Yeah, you must have been. Wow, busting a gu like that.

[Bob]

All so well. Thank you. Alex in Idaho working the. The stage.

[Josh]

He also did.

[Tom]

He was the voice of Templeton and Charlotte's Web the rat.

[Guest]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[Tom]

And then Roger the alien and American dad is of course based On Paul Lyn's right, Roger.

[Bob]

Yeah, Just great stuff.

[Josh]

Oh, and here's another more from Bye Bye Birdie. I believe kids.

[Tom]

I don't know what's wrong with these kids today.

[Josh]

Yeah, that's kind of.

[Bob]

This is kind of corny.

[Tom]

This is one of the more fun numbers.

[Josh]

Fun? Yeah.

[Bob]

With the Ed Sullivan one.

[Tom]

Well, the Ed Sullivan is purposefully corny.

[Tim]

That one's not in kids.

[Tom]

Yeah, it is interesting.

[Bob]

It's fine that.

[Tom]

You know what? Bye Bye Birdie is actually a fairly good time.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Bob]

And the telephone song at the beginning. It's great. Great. And by the way, the movie version, it's a staggeringly gorgeous. And marker.

[Tom]

Oh. Oh. It's outrageous.

[Pat]

Okay. Yeah.

[Bob]

I doubt if she's much of a teenager, but don't.

[Pat]

Don't waste your time.

[Guest]

Okay? I appreciate it.

[Tom]

Why would you talk about Here comes Brunson when you've got Charles Brunson.

[Josh]

Charles Brunson.

[Bob]

And wait a minute.

[Tim]

Who.

[Bob]

Oh, God. He had a really unlikely roommate.

[Pat]

Charles Bronson.

[Bob]

As a young actor. Yeah. Oh, it'll come to me. I mean, really. I know. I think it was Jack Klugman.

[Tom]

Really? Plugman and Bronson?

[Bob]

I think so.

[Josh]

That's interesting.

[Bob]

The guy from the Odd Couple.

[Tom]

Sure.

[Bob]

I'm pretty sure that's who it was. I'll double check that Jack Klugman have

[Pat]

his own show in the.

[Tom]

Quincy. Quincy.

[Bob]

It was. That was that weird phase where great comic actors like Andy Griffith became a cop.

[Pat]

Right.

[Tom]

He became a lawyer. A very famous lawyer. Ben Matlock.

[Josh]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Yeah, that's. I'm sorry, Andrew. He became a. He became a lawyer. Yeah.

[Tom]

Remember the Father Dowling mysteries with. Yeah. Even the Cosby mysteries was a show for a season or two.

[Josh]

Sure was. I wonder what those mysteries.

[Alex]

What's in the drink is the mystery.

[Bob]

Sorry.

[Pat]

What are you doing?

[Bob]

Once I'm trying to find the then game bronze.

[Tom]

Who's the great actor?

[Pat]

He's got it up for you.

[Tom]

Jason's in 12 Angry Men and he's in. He's the best part of the movie Shampoo and he played Crazy Like a Fox.

[Pat]

Not Warren Beatty.

[Josh]

Jack Weston.

[Tom]

No, it's not Jack Weston, but it's.

[Josh]

Don't know.

[Tom]

Do you remember Crazy Like a Fox?

[Josh]

I do remember Crazy Like a Fox, but I can't see the people in it.

[Tom]

I'll look it up. Sorry.

[Josh]

Okay, Kentucky man. Follow me now as closely as you'd like to credits a botched kick by former New York Giants kicker Young Way Ku with saving his life back in December. Mark Toothaker. That's t o t h a k e r a lot of time at

[Tom]

the dentist, doesn't he?

[Josh]

Watching the Giants play the Patriots. And when Young Way Ku whiffed on a field goal attempt. Hit the ground and not the ball.

[Tom]

You get your young weiku with brown rice or white rice.

[Tim]

Well, I always go brown either, but

[Josh]

I always get extra water chestnuts. In a real life scene reminiscent of Charlie Brown and Lucy and the Peanuts.

[Tom]

No way.

[Josh]

The scene made the 59 year old toothacher laugh so hard it caused a seizure. A CT scan revealed a tennis ball sized tumor on the left side of his brain.

[Tom]

Oh my gosh.

[Josh]

It has been since removed and turned out to be the bingo tumor. That's right. B9. And Mr. Toothacher told the press young way coup saved my life because it could have happened on a plane going into a seizure anywhere, but it happened there.

[Tom]

Thank goodness.

[Bob]

Here's a video of the kick.

[Tom]

Oh yeah. I mean I remember we talked about. Didn't we?

[Bob]

Yeah. And I know that the Manning brothers went nuts about this.

[Josh]

And this is a former like special teams player of the year in the NFL.

[Tim]

Coup.

[Josh]

He had a. He had great seasons kicking the ball.

[Bob]

He's currently, I think he's a free agent right now.

[Josh]

Oh, he's, he's a very free agent. Yeah.

[Bob]

But it's interesting that this in a, in a way that they found out that he had this brain tumor.

[Tom]

Thank goodness for that.

[Bob]

Who knew? So the fellas, if you're having trouble getting permission to watch a football game, you can say, hey, this is. I'm doing this for my health.

[Josh]

Actually, during the operation procedure, the gentleman had a tumor removed. Also was bitten by a radioactive spider.

[Tom]

Is that right?

[Josh]

During the procedure. And he now has a spider. Super strength.

[Bob]

What are you thinking of? The actor Jack Warden.

[Tom]

Thank you.

[Josh]

Yes, Jack Warden.

[Tom]

He was also a great actor.

[Pat]

Great actor.

[Josh]

Heaven Can Wait.

[Bob]

The apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz.

[Tom]

Oh, he is.

[Bob]

He's great. He's the dad. Another great movie.

[Josh]

Jack Warden's awesome.

[Pat]

Here we are with the five movies

[Tom]

Tom knows, down to three and 12 angry men. He's got baseball tickets and he just cannot wait to get out of there to go to the baseball game.

[Josh]

And he's sweating.

[Tom]

Yeah. Who isn't?

[Josh]

All time sweaty movies. That should be in there. I don't know.

[Bob]

Oh yeah.

[Tom]

Das Boot. 12 angry men, body Heat.

[Josh]

Oh, thanks.

[Tom]

That is a sweaty one.

[Josh]

Thanks.

[Bob]

Thanks a lot.

[Pat]

Thanks.

[Josh]

The very first sperm racing world championships will be held in San Francisco. The official Site for the sport announced the competition, which will feature athletes from 128 countries.

[Tom]

Really?

[Josh]

For $100,000 prize pool.

[Bob]

Yeah, we talked about this. They've been talking about doing this for quite some time. And it involves like overhead projectors.

[Josh]

And competitors will go head to head with their sperm samples displayed on a microscopic racetrack which mimics the reproductive system, complete with chemical signals, fluid dynamics, synchronized starts. The sperm that crosses the finish line first will be named the winner.

[Pat]

How do you qualify for that?

[Josh]

I. I have to qualify.

[Pat]

Yeah, you got.

[Bob]

I know that it's brought to you by the. The summertime picnic staple solo cups.

[Guest]

How do they pin the numbers on them? Like how do you. Yeah.

[Tom]

How do you tell them apart?

[Josh]

Identify them?

[Bob]

These are all great questions.

[Pat]

They probably have some kind of identifier like that.

[Guest]

I thought all sperm looked the same.

[Pat]

They do.

[Tom]

You're spermist.

[Josh]

Boy.

[Pat]

They all do look the same. She's right.

[Josh]

They're all white and murky, aren't they?

[Pat]

That's the.

[Tom]

In the actual fluid.

[Pat]

Fluid. That's not the sperm.

[Bob]

I'm gonna put my money knowing nothing about this. I'm gonna put my money on the Kenyan white Mercury.

[Josh]

Well, now this is.

[Bob]

They keep winning the marathon.

[Josh]

I don't know if that's going to help you.

[Bob]

Is this more of a sprint?

[Josh]

Yeah, you're talking distance. This is a sprint we're talking about here.

[Bob]

Yeah, but this is legit. This is a real thing.

[Josh]

Submissions to participate are currently being accepted online.

[Pat]

Oh, so you only have. How do you do that?

[Josh]

Only one representative from each country will be accepted.

[Alex]

If we're in Philadelphia right now, that have got a huge laugh. But he didn't mean it. Jit is slang for spunk in. Yeah. In Philly. What is J I T?

[Josh]

Jit.

[Alex]

Ah, legit.

[Josh]

Yeah. Slang for spunk. Is that what you said?

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Tom]

Also legit would be a French.

[Alex]

That would have been.

[Josh]

You ever call it spunk, Tom?

[Tom]

That's. That's pretty British, isn't it?

[Josh]

Spooey. No. Spooey gak.

[Tom]

No.

[Bob]

What are you getting?

[Hims Weight Loss Advertiser]

All these.

[Pat]

What is the point of this?

[Tom]

Quack baby batter.

[Josh]

Yeah, what about quack?

[Bob]

There was some scientific reason that they were doing this.

[Tom]

Man chowder, baby.

[Bob]

Are you. Are you through?

[Tom]

Oh, no.

[Josh]

Yeah, I can go on live and online yet.

[Pat]

Mangu.

[Bob]

There's a lady in the photo. Do we have the picture?

[Pat]

There's a lady in the photo.

[Bob]

It says, I feel the need for seed.

[Tom]

I like it. I like it a lot.

[Bob]

Got a cup in her hand.

[Tom]

Remember in the movie, what you.

[Josh]

Everything you always wanted about sex and

[Tom]

Woody Allen is playing a sperm. They're all in line getting ready, and it cuts to one black guy and he goes, what am I doing here?

[Bob]

That's a great. That's a great scene.

[Tom]

It is funny. Yeah. And they're all wearing little white caps.

[Tim]

Yeah.

[Bob]

The woman in that scene was at the time was Groucho Marx's girlfriend.

[Tom]

Isn't that something?

[Josh]

And would not shut up until she got a part in that movie.

[Tom]

And I'll see what I can do.

[Josh]

Yeah. Oh, look what we've got, Tom.

[Bob]

Oh, go ahead.

[Tom]

Should we. Should we send somebody to the sperm race?

[Pat]

You have to.

[Guest]

Who would we send from here?

[Josh]

San Francisco. I'll go. I'll cover it.

[Guest]

No, I mean. Oh, I. I thought we were going to enter someone in the sp.

[Tom]

No, I just mean to cover it. Yeah.

[Pat]

It have to be Tom. He's obviously got the.

[Bob]

Well, and there's only got it coming

[Josh]

out of your ears.

[Bob]

One from each. Okay, here we go. There's country is what he didn't want to stop.

[Josh]

I'm not the only one to die.

[Pat]

That's a tough word.

[Bob]

They did one last year in Texas.

[Tom]

I knew we talked about a race

[Bob]

before and there was a. Last year's prize was $10,000. And it says. The organizers say the humor helps young men talk about screenings, self exams and regular checkups. All right, so they're educational booths on site with health professionals and information about reproduction, etc.

[Josh]

Etc.

[Bob]

So there you go. That's. What's the reason for it.

[Tom]

Well, good.

[Guest]

And each year a new city submits to be the host.

[Tom]

That's funny.

[Guest]

Sperm race.

[Josh]

Oh, yeah.

[Pat]

Exciting.

[Bob]

Imagine. Well, we didn't get to see more

[Pat]

than 10 people there.

[Bob]

We didn't get the Super Bowl. We got the sperm race.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Bob]

In San Francisco. I'd be very careful at the coffee bar. Room for cream. We're out of the half and half here.

[Tom]

We've got some Harvey milk.

[Bob]

Oh, there we go.

[Josh]

You are on fire.

[Bob]

You should leave. You are just awesome today.

[Tom]

Excellent. Do not encourage me, please.

[Josh]

Stupid world record coming up. Thomas.

[Bob]

Okay. And here's another sperm race they did at the Hollywood Palladium a couple years ago. I know we've talked about it.

[Tim]

It.

[Hims Weight Loss Advertiser]

This is different.

[Bob]

There. These are guys who are in a circle. It looks like. Oh, it's brought to you by.

[Alex]

Oh, no.

[Bob]

Saltines.

[Josh]

I never. I never understood that.

[Tom]

I never.

[Josh]

I never came from.

[Bob]

I do remember this about these sperm races.

[Guest]

Only from Tom.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Bob]

If a sperm breaks its tail, Christy, they have to shoot it.

[Tom]

Oh, isn't that a shame? They bring up that tiny, tiny tent.

[Josh]

A little emergency room.

[Bob]

Don't leave. Bob and Tom Extra continues in just a minute.

[Tim]

Geez.

[Josh]

Time now for the alien who just discovered things here on Earth.

[Bob]

My passport expired. I didn't know they were only good. For 10 years, this has been the

[Josh]

alien who just discovered things.

[Christopher]

That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play, and stitcher. For Bob and Tom Extra, this is Christopher. Take care, everybody.

[Josh]

The Hammer alley podcast.

[Tom]

An 80s flashback mockumentary.

[Tim]

Back in the 80s, there were a

[Bob]

thousand bands trying to make it in the world of rock. But there was one band that had it all. Hammer Alley.

[Hims Weight Loss Advertiser]

Whatever happened to Hammer Alley?

[Tom]

How did they go from top of the rock?

[Alex]

I'm looking for a music video. They're a band from 1987.

[Tom]

Hammer Alley.

[Alex]

Ever heard of them?

[Tom]

To rock bottom.

[Josh]

Dude.

[Hims Weight Loss Advertiser]

I was was born in 1987.

[Josh]

I can't believe he's doing this.

[Tom]

Hammer Alley. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.