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Christopher
Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom Extra. This is Christopher not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon we'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything on today's big show, a Josh Ranch joke, fail plus listener letters and Paul Lind. It's all coming up right after this.
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Tim
Ladies and gentlemen, I got the blues. Well actually I'm colorblind so I'm not exactly sure what I got, but I think it's the blues. I gotta share it. This is Tim's blues. Sing it Tim. Yeah People sometimes ask me, they say Tim, what gives you the blues? Well people let me tell you some of the things that give me the blues. Like going to the zoo the day the monkeys burst into flames than being questioned by the cops cause they found anti monkey literature in my car or ordering chicken on a spit from a waiter who seems to get everything backwards. Finding out that my friends went behind my back and learned the metric system. Loan I'm down buried me six feet under or about two meters. I don't know the difference. That's not all. I get the blues. Every time I go to this bar run by manic depressives. They make the mistake of staying 10 minutes past the end of happy hour. Then overhearing some high school girls exchanging babysitting secrets, discussing how many tubes of glue it takes to keep a two year old on the ceiling long enough so you can and watch Melrose Place undisturbed. Then going to a barbecue where I'm the only person there with ham. Next be to open all the vinyls and cams. Come on, Tim, blow your heart. Stand for my harmonica solo. Play it, baby. You know they call me Fingers Kavanaugh. You the man that's like I carpal tunnel syndrome from the way I play. Gonna whale on this thing for you now. Here we go.
Bob
Thank you.
Tim
Scat for me. You the blues man.
Tom
Scat for me.
Tim
Team. Just as I'm sinking into the depths of depression, one of my friends comes up to me and you know, if things could be worse, I mean, at least you're not related to Suzanne Summers or Sandy Duncan or Sandy Donaldson. Just as I'm beginning to feel better about myself, I get a phone call from my Uncle Jim neighbors asking whether I'd found any copies of Dead Monkey Digest that maybe he left in the backseat of my car. I said, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo, Jimbo, Jim Bo. Jim. Yes, I did. What you doing with those monkeys, Jim?
Bob
Thank you. You asked it, you got it.
Tim
More Bob and Tom. This is Bob and Tom.
Josh
Extra Tom. Josh has asked a question.
Tom
This is. This is what I'm positing.
Josh
Okay.
Bob
Okay, go ahead.
Tom
What did the bottle of ranch say to the refrigerator?
Bob
I give up.
Tom
Close the door. I'm dressing.
Bob
Oh, very nice.
Pat
Did your niece tell you that?
Tom
No, but I have told my niece that.
Pat
Yes.
Tom
And she shook her head and walked away.
Josh
They grow up so fast.
Bob
That's nice. That's enough. That's a very fine joke.
Josh
That's a cute joke.
Tom
Will you tell your girls that?
Josh
Sure.
Tom
Okay.
Bob
Will they get it?
Tim
Yes.
Pat
They know what ranch dressing is
Tom
and we've all experienced.
Josh
Hey.
Tom
Hey.
Pat
Knock.
Tom
I'm dressing.
Josh
Yeah, yeah.
Tom
Close the door.
Pat
Oh, my gosh.
Josh
What do you mean?
Pat
Wait a minute.
Josh
What do you Mean, will they get it? What.
Bob
What did.
Tom
How did you. I say bottle of ranch.
Bob
Okay. That's the thing. I'm not sure.
Tom
Right, right, right, right.
Bob
Okay.
Tom
You don't want to say because you
Bob
can't say, what are the ranch dressings?
Tom
Okay.
Bob
I don't say.
Josh
I guess I don't use the word dressing for salad dressing very often.
Bob
That's why I'm asking.
Josh
I'm not sure I say Italian or French or ranch. I don't say ranch dressing or French dressing.
Tom
Oh, sure. But sometimes you'll. Will anybody. What dressing do you have on there? Or what dressing would you like?
Josh
I've heard that, yes.
Bob
It is an odd word, isn't it?
Pat
It.
Tom
Dressing.
Josh
Dressing. Yeah.
Pat
Well, you're dressing a salad dressing up
Tom
the salad, but you can also drink, not putting ranch on it, Right?
Pat
No, that's true.
Josh
Remember the Bugs Bunny where he dresses up the chicken? Yeah. Ready to go. General. Puts them all in top hats, never
Bob
mind dress up your dog, which they hate. Okay, this is a nice letter here.
Josh
Let's see about that.
Bob
Dear Bob and Tom Show. This is a guy doing tech.
Tom
Oh, okay.
Bob
Doing tech at a stage play.
Josh
And he, like, you like the backstage crew.
Bob
Oh, yeah. It wasn't stage crew.
Pat
Yeah.
Bob
Many, many years he's at a community theater. They're putting on Bye Bye Birdie, which he'd never seen.
Tom
Oh, he'd never seen it.
Josh
Well, that's surprising. It was only 100 years ago they did it.
Bob
He couldn't figure out where he'd heard this song. Remember this one?
Alex
Well, because of you,
Bob
Paul Lind, ladies and gentlemen.
Josh
You know, this is the basis of all of my nightmares.
Alex
Speaking of long injuries.
Pat
Yeah. No joke.
Tim
Ed Sullivan,
Tom
me, Harry McAfee appearing with.
Bob
It's a great song.
Tom
That's an amusing moment.
Alex
Like a little.
Bob
It's so great.
Alex
Throw away, Byebye.
Guest
They talk about Ed Sullivan.
Tom
Yeah. Paul Lynn should have been giving you an Oscar for playing the patriarch of
Josh
a family when he's saying. Know what, though? I've just realized right now, I do enjoy seeing you enjoy that so much. I. I never see you until.
Bob
It's a great play. It's. It's based on kind of Elvis going into the army.
Guest
Okay.
Bob
And this guy, There's a contest that there's going to be one last kiss before he goes into the army with a guy named Conrad Birdie, who's kind of an Elvis like guy.
Guest
Okay.
Josh
And Paul Lynn's gonna kiss somebody.
Bob
No, no, no, no.
Tom
Wow.
Guest
So Paul Lynn was a theater actor.
Bob
He's great. In fact, Pat Godwin met him at the. Which theater was it?
Alex
Kenley Players from the airport and drove him around for a whole week.
Bob
Did he have his dogs with him?
Josh
He did.
Alex
And his partner? Yeah.
Josh
Did he try to drive you around?
Alex
No, no. He was a real gentleman. A little nasty when he got drunk, but in a funny way. He was really funny.
Tom
I can only. It must have been riotous.
Bob
Yeah, they. And I remember reading about that he was on Hollywood Squares, famously.
Josh
That's how I know they eventually had
Bob
to get a limo or I'm Bewitched on High Street.
Alex
Chick would. I'm sorry, did I cut you off?
Bob
Well, they. They had to get a limo because he was apparently tipsy so much they didn't let him get into a car accident.
Guest
And so did everybody just think he was an actor or Everybody knew he was gay?
Pat
Everybody knew.
Alex
Oh, yeah.
Tom
There is a story of. I forget who the celebrity is, but he was in an elevator with Paul Lynde. And I'll clean this up, okay? Because as Pat said, apparently Paul Lynde could get salty. But he. And he looked at him, he goes, Mr. Lind, I've always wondered, are you gay? And Paul Lynde looked at him. Looked at him and said, what have you been living under an effing rock? So while he wasn't out.
Guest
Right.
Josh
He was.
Tom
It was.
Guest
Everybody assumed, I'll try to clean.
Alex
I'll try to clean up. What he said to me. I picked him up from the airport. They were loaded. Two little poodles and a high street chicken. Or high street is of course, Columbus, Ohio.
Tom
Yeah.
Alex
And where the Veterans. Veterans Memorial Auditorium behind that was a trailer, like an actual trailer where they kept the star. Henry Winkler was there. Vincent Price people. And the week after, Henry Winkler up. They didn't. I took him to the trailer and they hadn't cleaned the trailer yet, so I took him to the trailer.
Josh
Oh, my God. You can't tell this story. Go ahead.
Alex
I'm not gonna say the word.
Bob
He.
Alex
He used the. He used the P word, though.
Bob
Okay.
Alex
Female yeah, yeah. So I opened the door with the key, I let him in. He goes, oh, my goodness, it smells like the P word in here. And he goes, I think.
Tom
I don't know. Yeah, you must have been. Wow, busting a gu like that.
Bob
All so well. Thank you. Alex in Idaho working the. The stage.
Josh
He also did.
Tom
He was the voice of Templeton and Charlotte's Web the rat.
Guest
Oh, okay. Okay.
Tom
And then Roger the alien and American dad is of course based On Paul Lyn's right, Roger.
Bob
Yeah, Just great stuff.
Josh
Oh, and here's another more from Bye Bye Birdie. I believe kids.
Tom
I don't know what's wrong with these kids today.
Josh
Yeah, that's kind of.
Bob
This is kind of corny.
Tom
This is one of the more fun numbers.
Josh
Fun? Yeah.
Bob
With the Ed Sullivan one.
Tom
Well, the Ed Sullivan is purposefully corny.
Tim
That one's not in kids.
Tom
Yeah, it is interesting.
Bob
It's fine that.
Tom
You know what? Bye Bye Birdie is actually a fairly good time.
Guest
Okay.
Bob
And the telephone song at the beginning. It's great. Great. And by the way, the movie version, it's a staggeringly gorgeous. And marker.
Tom
Oh. Oh. It's outrageous.
Pat
Okay. Yeah.
Bob
I doubt if she's much of a teenager, but don't.
Pat
Don't waste your time.
Guest
Okay? I appreciate it.
Tom
Why would you talk about Here comes Brunson when you've got Charles Brunson.
Josh
Charles Brunson.
Bob
And wait a minute.
Tim
Who.
Bob
Oh, God. He had a really unlikely roommate.
Pat
Charles Bronson.
Bob
As a young actor. Yeah. Oh, it'll come to me. I mean, really. I know. I think it was Jack Klugman.
Tom
Really? Plugman and Bronson?
Bob
I think so.
Josh
That's interesting.
Bob
The guy from the Odd Couple.
Tom
Sure.
Bob
I'm pretty sure that's who it was. I'll double check that Jack Klugman have
Pat
his own show in the.
Tom
Quincy. Quincy.
Bob
It was. That was that weird phase where great comic actors like Andy Griffith became a cop.
Pat
Right.
Tom
He became a lawyer. A very famous lawyer. Ben Matlock.
Josh
Yeah.
Bob
Yeah, that's. I'm sorry, Andrew. He became a. He became a lawyer. Yeah.
Tom
Remember the Father Dowling mysteries with. Yeah. Even the Cosby mysteries was a show for a season or two.
Josh
Sure was. I wonder what those mysteries.
Alex
What's in the drink is the mystery.
Bob
Sorry.
Pat
What are you doing?
Bob
Once I'm trying to find the then game bronze.
Tom
Who's the great actor?
Pat
He's got it up for you.
Tom
Jason's in 12 Angry Men and he's in. He's the best part of the movie Shampoo and he played Crazy Like a Fox.
Pat
Not Warren Beatty.
Josh
Jack Weston.
Tom
No, it's not Jack Weston, but it's.
Josh
Don't know.
Tom
Do you remember Crazy Like a Fox?
Josh
I do remember Crazy Like a Fox, but I can't see the people in it.
Tom
I'll look it up. Sorry.
Josh
Okay, Kentucky man. Follow me now as closely as you'd like to credits a botched kick by former New York Giants kicker Young Way Ku with saving his life back in December. Mark Toothaker. That's t o t h a k e r a lot of time at
Tom
the dentist, doesn't he?
Josh
Watching the Giants play the Patriots. And when Young Way Ku whiffed on a field goal attempt. Hit the ground and not the ball.
Tom
You get your young weiku with brown rice or white rice.
Tim
Well, I always go brown either, but
Josh
I always get extra water chestnuts. In a real life scene reminiscent of Charlie Brown and Lucy and the Peanuts.
Tom
No way.
Josh
The scene made the 59 year old toothacher laugh so hard it caused a seizure. A CT scan revealed a tennis ball sized tumor on the left side of his brain.
Tom
Oh my gosh.
Josh
It has been since removed and turned out to be the bingo tumor. That's right. B9. And Mr. Toothacher told the press young way coup saved my life because it could have happened on a plane going into a seizure anywhere, but it happened there.
Tom
Thank goodness.
Bob
Here's a video of the kick.
Tom
Oh yeah. I mean I remember we talked about. Didn't we?
Bob
Yeah. And I know that the Manning brothers went nuts about this.
Josh
And this is a former like special teams player of the year in the NFL.
Tim
Coup.
Josh
He had a. He had great seasons kicking the ball.
Bob
He's currently, I think he's a free agent right now.
Josh
Oh, he's, he's a very free agent. Yeah.
Bob
But it's interesting that this in a, in a way that they found out that he had this brain tumor.
Tom
Thank goodness for that.
Bob
Who knew? So the fellas, if you're having trouble getting permission to watch a football game, you can say, hey, this is. I'm doing this for my health.
Josh
Actually, during the operation procedure, the gentleman had a tumor removed. Also was bitten by a radioactive spider.
Tom
Is that right?
Josh
During the procedure. And he now has a spider. Super strength.
Bob
What are you thinking of? The actor Jack Warden.
Tom
Thank you.
Josh
Yes, Jack Warden.
Tom
He was also a great actor.
Pat
Great actor.
Josh
Heaven Can Wait.
Bob
The apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz.
Tom
Oh, he is.
Bob
He's great. He's the dad. Another great movie.
Josh
Jack Warden's awesome.
Pat
Here we are with the five movies
Tom
Tom knows, down to three and 12 angry men. He's got baseball tickets and he just cannot wait to get out of there to go to the baseball game.
Josh
And he's sweating.
Tom
Yeah. Who isn't?
Josh
All time sweaty movies. That should be in there. I don't know.
Bob
Oh yeah.
Tom
Das Boot. 12 angry men, body Heat.
Josh
Oh, thanks.
Tom
That is a sweaty one.
Josh
Thanks.
Bob
Thanks a lot.
Pat
Thanks.
Josh
The very first sperm racing world championships will be held in San Francisco. The official Site for the sport announced the competition, which will feature athletes from 128 countries.
Tom
Really?
Josh
For $100,000 prize pool.
Bob
Yeah, we talked about this. They've been talking about doing this for quite some time. And it involves like overhead projectors.
Josh
And competitors will go head to head with their sperm samples displayed on a microscopic racetrack which mimics the reproductive system, complete with chemical signals, fluid dynamics, synchronized starts. The sperm that crosses the finish line first will be named the winner.
Pat
How do you qualify for that?
Josh
I. I have to qualify.
Pat
Yeah, you got.
Bob
I know that it's brought to you by the. The summertime picnic staple solo cups.
Guest
How do they pin the numbers on them? Like how do you. Yeah.
Tom
How do you tell them apart?
Josh
Identify them?
Bob
These are all great questions.
Pat
They probably have some kind of identifier like that.
Guest
I thought all sperm looked the same.
Pat
They do.
Tom
You're spermist.
Josh
Boy.
Pat
They all do look the same. She's right.
Josh
They're all white and murky, aren't they?
Pat
That's the.
Tom
In the actual fluid.
Pat
Fluid. That's not the sperm.
Bob
I'm gonna put my money knowing nothing about this. I'm gonna put my money on the Kenyan white Mercury.
Josh
Well, now this is.
Bob
They keep winning the marathon.
Josh
I don't know if that's going to help you.
Bob
Is this more of a sprint?
Josh
Yeah, you're talking distance. This is a sprint we're talking about here.
Bob
Yeah, but this is legit. This is a real thing.
Josh
Submissions to participate are currently being accepted online.
Pat
Oh, so you only have. How do you do that?
Josh
Only one representative from each country will be accepted.
Alex
If we're in Philadelphia right now, that have got a huge laugh. But he didn't mean it. Jit is slang for spunk in. Yeah. In Philly. What is J I T?
Josh
Jit.
Alex
Ah, legit.
Josh
Yeah. Slang for spunk. Is that what you said?
Bob
Yeah.
Tom
Also legit would be a French.
Alex
That would have been.
Josh
You ever call it spunk, Tom?
Tom
That's. That's pretty British, isn't it?
Josh
Spooey. No. Spooey gak.
Tom
No.
Bob
What are you getting?
Hims Weight Loss Advertiser
All these.
Pat
What is the point of this?
Tom
Quack baby batter.
Josh
Yeah, what about quack?
Bob
There was some scientific reason that they were doing this.
Tom
Man chowder, baby.
Bob
Are you. Are you through?
Tom
Oh, no.
Josh
Yeah, I can go on live and online yet.
Pat
Mangu.
Bob
There's a lady in the photo. Do we have the picture?
Pat
There's a lady in the photo.
Bob
It says, I feel the need for seed.
Tom
I like it. I like it a lot.
Bob
Got a cup in her hand.
Tom
Remember in the movie, what you.
Josh
Everything you always wanted about sex and
Tom
Woody Allen is playing a sperm. They're all in line getting ready, and it cuts to one black guy and he goes, what am I doing here?
Bob
That's a great. That's a great scene.
Tom
It is funny. Yeah. And they're all wearing little white caps.
Tim
Yeah.
Bob
The woman in that scene was at the time was Groucho Marx's girlfriend.
Tom
Isn't that something?
Josh
And would not shut up until she got a part in that movie.
Tom
And I'll see what I can do.
Josh
Yeah. Oh, look what we've got, Tom.
Bob
Oh, go ahead.
Tom
Should we. Should we send somebody to the sperm race?
Pat
You have to.
Guest
Who would we send from here?
Josh
San Francisco. I'll go. I'll cover it.
Guest
No, I mean. Oh, I. I thought we were going to enter someone in the sp.
Tom
No, I just mean to cover it. Yeah.
Pat
It have to be Tom. He's obviously got the.
Bob
Well, and there's only got it coming
Josh
out of your ears.
Bob
One from each. Okay, here we go. There's country is what he didn't want to stop.
Josh
I'm not the only one to die.
Pat
That's a tough word.
Bob
They did one last year in Texas.
Tom
I knew we talked about a race
Bob
before and there was a. Last year's prize was $10,000. And it says. The organizers say the humor helps young men talk about screenings, self exams and regular checkups. All right, so they're educational booths on site with health professionals and information about reproduction, etc.
Josh
Etc.
Bob
So there you go. That's. What's the reason for it.
Tom
Well, good.
Guest
And each year a new city submits to be the host.
Tom
That's funny.
Guest
Sperm race.
Josh
Oh, yeah.
Pat
Exciting.
Bob
Imagine. Well, we didn't get to see more
Pat
than 10 people there.
Bob
We didn't get the Super Bowl. We got the sperm race.
Pat
Yeah.
Bob
In San Francisco. I'd be very careful at the coffee bar. Room for cream. We're out of the half and half here.
Tom
We've got some Harvey milk.
Bob
Oh, there we go.
Josh
You are on fire.
Bob
You should leave. You are just awesome today.
Tom
Excellent. Do not encourage me, please.
Josh
Stupid world record coming up. Thomas.
Bob
Okay. And here's another sperm race they did at the Hollywood Palladium a couple years ago. I know we've talked about it.
Tim
It.
Hims Weight Loss Advertiser
This is different.
Bob
There. These are guys who are in a circle. It looks like. Oh, it's brought to you by.
Alex
Oh, no.
Bob
Saltines.
Josh
I never. I never understood that.
Tom
I never.
Josh
I never came from.
Bob
I do remember this about these sperm races.
Guest
Only from Tom.
Pat
Yeah.
Bob
If a sperm breaks its tail, Christy, they have to shoot it.
Tom
Oh, isn't that a shame? They bring up that tiny, tiny tent.
Josh
A little emergency room.
Bob
Don't leave. Bob and Tom Extra continues in just a minute.
Tim
Geez.
Josh
Time now for the alien who just discovered things here on Earth.
Bob
My passport expired. I didn't know they were only good. For 10 years, this has been the
Josh
alien who just discovered things.
Christopher
That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play, and stitcher. For Bob and Tom Extra, this is Christopher. Take care, everybody.
Josh
The Hammer alley podcast.
Tom
An 80s flashback mockumentary.
Tim
Back in the 80s, there were a
Bob
thousand bands trying to make it in the world of rock. But there was one band that had it all. Hammer Alley.
Hims Weight Loss Advertiser
Whatever happened to Hammer Alley?
Tom
How did they go from top of the rock?
Alex
I'm looking for a music video. They're a band from 1987.
Tom
Hammer Alley.
Alex
Ever heard of them?
Tom
To rock bottom.
Josh
Dude.
Hims Weight Loss Advertiser
I was was born in 1987.
Josh
I can't believe he's doing this.
Tom
Hammer Alley. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.
Episode Date: May 21, 2026
Podcast: The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast
Episode Theme:
This lively episode features the familiar cast riffing on failed jokes, quirky listener letters, classic musical theater, notable TV icons, and offbeat news – all delivered with the show's signature mix of quick wit, playful teasing, and affectionate nostalgia. Unexpected stories and raucous tangents abound as the crew delivers running gags and comedic banter, making for a packed and entertaining listen.
[02:19 – 06:05]
[06:13 – 07:36]
[07:49 – 12:31]
[12:31 – 13:57]
[13:58 – 15:34]
[16:24 – 21:11]
[21:11 – 21:47]
[21:55 – 22:07]
A must-listen for fans of wordplay, classic showbiz stories, and the show’s signature rapid-fire wit – the episode moves briskly from musical parody to news-of-the-weird, doused throughout with affectionate teasing and laughter.