B&T Extra: A Pat request, Vasectomy vs Colonoscopy, & Nipple rings

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast

Episode: B&T Extra: A Pat Request, Vasectomy vs Colonoscopy, & Nipple Rings
Date: April 14, 2026
Podcast Network: Cumulus Podcast Network

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Episode Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show Extra delivers the show's signature blend of irreverent comedy, playful banter, and quirky personal stories. The hosts dive into audience requests, compare the perils and perks of vasectomies and colonoscopies (with plenty of off-color detours), and round it all out with a spirited tangent on nipple rings. A catchy song parody about Cologuard, listener letters, and the lighter side of grave digging traditions fill out this extra edition—perfect for those who appreciate raw, relatable humor with a nostalgic twist.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Musical Parody: “Albino”

• [02:28 - 04:22]
  Bob launches the episode with a comedic song about being albino, alluding to famous albinos and poking fun at genetic inheritance.
  • Notable lyrics include:
    “I'm an albino. I'm an albino. My mom was an Albanian straight from Albino Stan.”
  • The group chuckles over pop culture references to albino characters.

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2. Vasectomies vs. Colonoscopies: Trends and Taboo

• [04:34 - 05:51]
  Christopher introduces the rising trend of clinics promoting vasectomy specials during the NCAA basketball tournament.
  • Christy quips: “Everybody's probably watching today at noon for the games to get underway.” [04:52]
  • Conversation segues to colonoscopies, particularly the popularity and advertising of Cologuard home testing kits.

Brief on Cologuard & Colonoscopies

• [05:07 - 06:23]
  • Tom: “Cologuard is… not a complete substitute for a colonoscopy, but it's a sort of a test to see if you might need to get a more serious probing down there.” [05:08]
  • Christy: “If you wake up from your colonoscopy and your doctor has ice on your bag, you may want to call a lawyer.” [05:45]
  • The crew jokes about mixing up the aftercare for both procedures and the roles of ice packs.

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3. Nipple Rings: Confessions, Curiosity, and Surprises

• [05:53 - 08:59]
  A wild and hilariously frank tangent erupts when Christy asks about ice on nipples, sparking nipple ring confessions.
  • Jeff admits, “I used to [have nipple rings].” [06:11]
  • Christy: “You could tell he's a fun guy by his curly hair.” [06:25]
  • Tom: “A nipple… nickel nipple ring? Yeah, they made out of nickel.” [07:28]

Memorable Exchanges

• Jeff: “I’m a dirt bag.” [06:19]
• Pat: “Do I have that flag That I can wave where we don’t ask questions?” [08:15]

Piercings Beyond Nipples

• Christy tries to ask Pat about possible piercings, leading to riffing on the infamous Prince Albert.
  • Pat: “My brother had the Prince Albert. Yeah, one of my brothers, Jack.” [08:06]

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4. Cologuard Parody Song: “Another Load Came In”

• [12:13 - 14:20]
  By special request, Pat Godwin performs a Bruce Springsteen-styled original about working at Cologuard’s mailroom, humorously chronicling the life of someone who sorts and processes mailed-in stool samples.
  • Highlights include:
    • “Another load came in a box shattered and splattered onto... Always wear your mask and protect your skin here at Cologuard. Another load came in.”
    • “Joe passed out, hit his head, notified his next kin. It's corn and stew for lunch again.”
• Christopher: “That would be a rough gig.” [14:22]
• Jeff: “Pat, you looked so red. I was afraid I was gonna have to go grab the defibrillator.” [14:27]

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5. Listener Letters: Scents of Home & Odd Memories

• [14:42 - 16:10]
  The team reads audience letters sparked by Tom's earlier remarks about the smells of towns tied to local industries.

Standouts

• Tom: “Most mornings it smells like grilled onions.” (about White Castle in Ohio) [15:00]
• Aunt Millie’s and Klosterman’s Bakeries (bread baking), Jif Factory (peanut butter scent), and a noted absence of smell from a crematorium.
• Christy: “I grew up a few blocks away from the Jif factory in Lexington. Unmistakable smell that I'll never forget from my childhood.” [15:38]

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6. Walk Up Music: If Your Car Had a Theme Song

• [16:10 - 19:06]
  Inspired by remote entry features, listeners and hosts debate what song should play as their “walk up music” for their cars.

Listener and Host Picks

• Kim (listener): “My walk up to my car would be ‘Sexual Healing’ by Marvin Gaye.” [16:27]
• Christy: “Highway Star” by Deep Purple [18:33]
• Tom: Subjected to “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” by Tiny Tim (sparking much confusion and laughter about its meaning)
  • “Is this, like, a peeping Tom song?” – Christopher [19:32]

Memorable Quote

• Pat: “First line is tiptoe through the window. What was he doing?” [19:06]

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7. Grave Digging Tales and End-of-Life Options

• [20:19 - 22:46]
  Responding to more listener letters, the crew gets uncharacteristically informative (yet still raucous) about grave digging, deep graves, and green burials.
  • “Eight Spade widths is also approximately four feet wide. Hard work. And most of them have back problems.” (listener anecdote) [21:08]

Alternative Burial Options

• Christy: “You can be buried without any sort of embalming fluid or anything. They just wrap you in a cotton cloth.” [21:54]
• Jeff: “I want them to take me where they put you out in the field and they let like the animals go at you so they can study like decomposition.” [22:20]
• Pat: “You never know. Your nipple rings.” [22:38]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jeff: "I’m a dirt bag." [06:19]
• Pat (singing): “UPS is here. Another load came in.” [13:03]
• Christy: “If you wake up from your colonoscopy and your doctor has ice on your bag, you may want to call a lawyer.” [05:45]
• Christopher: “That would be a rough gig.” (on working at Cologuard) [14:22]
• Tom: “A nipple… nickel nipple ring? Yeah, they made out of nickel.” [07:28]
• Christy: “I grew up a few blocks away from the Jif factory in Lexington. Unmistakable smell that I'll never forget...” [15:38]

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Episode Timeline

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------| | 02:28 | Bob’s “Albino” musical parody | | 04:34 | Vasectomies vs. Colonoscopies discussion | | 05:53 | Nipple ring revelations & playful banter | | 12:13 | Pat’s Cologuard parody song (“Another Load Came In”) | | 14:42 | Listener letters (small town smells, Jif factory, bakeries)| | 16:10 | Walk-up music for your car | | 20:19 | Grave digging stories and green burial options |

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Tone and Style

True to BOB & TOM tradition, the episode is quick-witted, informal, and full of fearless tangents. The cast is equally at home with deadpan delivery and wild wordplay, fostering both nostalgia and belly laughs. The humor is often offbeat and, at times, a little risqué, but always rooted in relatable, real-world experiences.

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Conclusion

This episode of Bob & Tom Extra serves up goofy musical parodies, health talk with a comedic bent, and candid personal stories—all hallmarks of the long-running show. Whether swapping tales about body piercings, cracking funeral jokes, or reminiscing over the scents of home, the team keeps things light, lively, and unmistakably Bob & Tom.

Transcript

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[Christopher]

welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom Extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon we'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything on today's big show. A pat request plus vasectomy versus Colonoscopy and nipple rings coming up right after this.

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[Bob]

People say hey Heywood, how come your hair's so white? Are you old as the hills or did you have a terrible fight? Fright? I'm sorry, Fright, not fight. Was it stress or no. B vitamins make your hair transparent from a lack of Melanin. I'm an albino. I'm an albino. I'm an albino. My mom was an albinian straight from albino Stan. She was his albino gal and he was her albino man. They moved to Albany and raised up a bunch of kids and you can never guess what each and every one of us is. We're albino. We're all albino. Oh, albinos have always been my heroes. Edgar Winter is a really good albino guitar playing guy. I like that guy in powder and that weird guy in the Jim Carrey movie with where he, where he was parent. He was a schizophrenic cop and with Renee Zellwinger. That one. Yeah, that, that albino guy. Oh, they're albino. And I said a, a L, B I I, I, I I N O albino Albino. In Spain they call me albino.

[Pat]

Woohoo.

[Bob]

That's my.

[Pat]

Now some more Bob and Tom.

[Bob]

Can't live without it.

[Pat]

This is Bob and Tom Extra.

[Christopher]

Right now we turn to Pat Godwin with a special request. We talked about the. This, this happens at lots of spots. The. With, with men. A lot of men's college basketball on especially this week throughout the day there are a lot of places that have special rates on vasectomies.

[Christy]

I think today is probably the most, you know, initially because it's a little, it's a different, you know, experience. Everybody's probably watching today at noon for the games to get underway.

[Christopher]

It's fun and in the case of certain people, a colonoscopy.

[Tom]

Yep.

[Christopher]

And we got a letter this morning that watching the play in game last evening, apparently there were a number of commercials for Cola Guard and Cola Guard is a, it's a, it doesn't. It's not a complete substitute for a colonoscopy, but it's. The notion is, it's, it's a sort of a test to see if you might need to get a more serious probing down there. But it involves. I'm trying to be delicate here, Christy. You were saying it involves ice on the bag, baby. Well, no, if you put ice on your bed, it really won't really help your colonoscopy.

[Christy]

She wants to talk about ice on the bag.

[Christopher]

Yeah, that's pro vasectomy. If you wake up from your colonoscopy and your doctor has ice on your bag, you may want to call a lawyer.

[Tom]

He did something wrong.

[Christopher]

Yeah, there's something wrong there.

[Christy]

What about ice on your nipples? You ever do that?

[Pat]

No, that's Got to be hot.

[Christy]

Really?

[Tom]

No. Why would I do that?

[Christopher]

We're getting, we're getting off topic.

[Christy]

Are they erect all the time?

[Tom]

No.

[Christopher]

Could we get to.

[Christy]

What about you, Jeff?

[Tom]

The point is Colard.

[Christopher]

Now, if you put ice in your nipples, would it affect your nipple rings?

[Tom]

You have nipple rings?

[Jeff]

I used to.

[Christy]

Oh, and what did.

[Christopher]

I was kidding. You really did have nipple rings?

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

What kind of a hippie are you anyway?

[Jeff]

Dude, I'm a dirt fun one.

[Christy]

Yeah, dude, I'm a dirt bag.

[Tom]

Jeff's a fun guy. Leave him alone.

[Christopher]

Wait a minute.

[Christy]

I mean, you could tell just for a second. You could tell he's a fun guy by his curly hair.

[Christopher]

So, Christy, back in the day when you were swinging free and easy.

[Christy]

Yes.

[Christopher]

And the sexual revolution was in full swing in your pants, Did you ever encounter a guy that had nipple rings?

[Jeff]

Wow.

[Tom]

Probably.

[Jeff]

Ah, that sounds like a yes to me.

[Tom]

It wouldn't. Were you never turn me off?

[Christy]

You never with anybody you had.

[Tom]

Never had an. You never Never seen a nipple ring?

[Christopher]

No.

[Christy]

You know, they had the clip ons.

[Tom]

Yeah, they did.

[Christy]

Not necessarily.

[Christopher]

It's like, Like a dicky or a fake tie?

[Tom]

Yeah, it was like. It's like a round circle and you squeeze it and then it'll.

[Christy]

Yeah, it'll expand and then you let it go, I guess, you know, you're

[Christopher]

gonna, you're gonna get. You're gonna get some. If she's got nipple rings on, she's not a nun. This girl's gonna put out.

[Christy]

You think?

[Christopher]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

Yes. I have seen nickel, Nick Nickel, and they were made in the wild.

[Christy]

A nipple. Nickel nipple ring. Yeah, they made out of nickel.

[Christopher]

Like I'm a coin. I'm a. What's a coin collector called. Is that a philatelist? No, that's a numismatist. Numism. Okay, very good. Well, that sounds like something from the wizard of Oz, doesn't it?

[Christy]

It's a coin.

[Christopher]

He's an amis.

[Christy]

But it is.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Christy]

Philatelis is stamped.

[Christopher]

Yeah, that's right. Now, Mr. God, you have also had a variety of romantic encounters in your day. Have you ever encountered a nipple ring?

[Christy]

Oh, you had a piercing through your dong, right. With a little bell on it.

[Tom]

What is that, the alper. The Prince Albert?

[Pat]

Yeah, my brother.

[Christopher]

Actually, I was trying to ask you a legitimate.

[Christy]

You could hear Pat coming around the corner.

[Tom]

Did you hear that?

[Pat]

My brother had the Prince Albert? Yeah, one of my brothers, Jack.

[Christopher]

You're kidding me. No. Back to you. Have you ever encountered nipple rings?

[Pat]

Do I have that flag That I can wave where we don't ask questions. Sorry, I'm still in a penalty.

[Tom]

Green, yellow or red today,

[Christy]

there are certain people that shouldn't be together. And that's always. I'm just saying.

[Pat]

Waving the flag.

[Christopher]

He means you and me, Pat.

[Christy]

Yeah, because I always. You two are always fighting.

[Christopher]

No, I have not. I have not encountered a nipple ring in the wild.

[Tom]

I'm surprised. You may have. You just don't remember.

[Christy]

Yeah. With her doing you doing it Ivy League style. Her face is always up against the wall.

[Tom]

Part of your life. You seem to have forgotten Ivy League styles.

[Christopher]

Traditional is traditional. Missionary. But your pants are just down below your knees and your shoes are still on.

[Christy]

So it doesn't affect her position.

[Christopher]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Christy]

But I. I would.

[Christopher]

The notion is it's. It's a domineering. And then. And.

[Tom]

Okay, you need to stop talking right now.

[Christy]

So you don't want any connection. So, you know, I'm sure you don't want to look her in the eye.

[Christopher]

Hey, look, I have to go to

[Christy]

the law library and say, turn around. That's right. Now you meet me in the snack. The stacks next week.

[Christopher]

Oh, nice.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

Now we're off topic. The point I was trying to make was there's. There are a lot of commercials for this cola guard.

[Christy]

It's a little talking box with lights.

[Tom]

I have done cola guard. You've done cola.

[Pat]

I have indeed.

[Christopher]

Yeah. And it's a great idea.

[Christy]

Have you seen the commercial? Have you seen the little mascot? Yeah, yeah. He's a little box with legs. He talks. He's got.

[Christopher]

Yeah, and I bet it's. And it's kind of. I think it's important.

[Christy]

I'm full of poop.

[Christopher]

It's important that they're having a little fun with something. It's super important. Be sure to get these tests. Ladies and gentlemen.

[Tom]

Very important.

[Christopher]

We lost a good friend of ours because he.

[Tom]

Johnny Andretti.

[Christopher]

He didn't. Well, no, I was going to say Fox.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

Because he didn't get this stuff done early on. They got to catch this stuff.

[Christy]

So given those two. John Andretti. Yeah.

[Tom]

Yeah. Check it for Andretti. Get. Get your colonoscopy or get your cola guard.

[Christopher]

Get your colon. By the way, John Andretti was one of the greatest guests ever. He. He would have been a great guest. Even not talking about auto racing, just Superman. Wonderful guy.

[Tom]

Super guy.

[Christopher]

Now, the point is, they were playing a lot of commercials for Colegard. Pat, you.

[Tom]

We don't have time for the song.

[Christy]

John Andretti. Wasn't Superman. Clark Kent was Superman. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I blow it?

[Christopher]

Pat, when we come back. I tried to get. I tried to set up the intro.

[Tom]

Well, you're set up now.

[Pat]

You heard nipple ring, off to the races.

[Christopher]

No, I jokingly said. I. I bet Oscar has a nipple ring. And he does.

[Christy]

I. Here's the thing.

[Tom]

Do those holes go back or can you repair some.

[Christy]

I'm speaking on behalf of the room. You can't start recapping what we just talked about.

[Christopher]

Sorry.

[Christy]

During the same break.

[Christopher]

I have one more question.

[Christy]

Okay.

[Christopher]

Did you have one or two nipple rings?

[Jeff]

I had two.

[Christopher]

Were they. Were they joined together with a chain?

[Jeff]

Oh, yeah, Like Sebastian Bach. Me and him had the.

[Christy]

Does he have that?

[Jeff]

No, he had the. The one that went from his nose ring to his ear.

[Tom]

That's a good.

[Jeff]

That chain look for a week.

[Christy]

What a guy.

[Christopher]

Did he. Did he get that from the bank when he stole the pen with the chain on it?

[Christy]

Yes. Pens.

[Christopher]

I blame myself. I haven't set foot in a bank in five years.

[Tom]

They have the pens, but they're not attached to the chain. Not at my bank.

[Christy]

Wow.

[Tom]

They give you free pens inside the bank. The people are very nice. And they don't get a lot of people in there.

[Christopher]

And, you know, I don't go in there.

[Tom]

Very nice.

[Christy]

Do you get the. What are you doing in here? A lot of that.

[Christopher]

We don't get a lot of guests. Stay.

[Christy]

You want some coffee?

[Christopher]

Anyway, lots of commercials for Cologuard. It's an important product. I highly recommend it. You essentially, you send them your poop and they have a. They analyze it, just a little bit

[Tom]

of it, not like a whole, and

[Christopher]

just don't put it in an envelope. And, you know.

Right.

[Christy]

Can we get Cologuard to sponsor, like, the Sports Desk? That would be kind of fun, right?

[Christopher]

Probably not after this discussion, but no, I.

[Christy]

Well, they. It's a service that.

[Tom]

We have got a lovely song about it.

[Christy]

You all know what we should.

[Christopher]

Because, you know, somebody has to open up those boxes. Right, Pat.

[Pat]

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Bruce Springsteen. Yeah, the Boss. We all got to take care of ourselves sometimes. One of those things you got to do is send a stool sample to get tested. The employees of Cologne are the ones that do the testing. The song's for them. I get here early and punch my time card. I work in the mail room at Colegard. The place is full of boxes. Don't know where to begin. UPS is here. Another load came in. Another load came in. Another Load came in a box shattered and splattered onto. Good. Ma'. Am, Always wear your mask and protect your skin. Here, Cola guard. Another low came in. I open the box, handle with care, then send the stool to the lab upstairs. Some samples are huge. Others are curly and thin. Here's FedEx. Another load came in. I wear a hazmat suit, thick rubber gloves. Some men do what they must. Some men do what they love. Now my son says he'll join me. Wants to drop out of school. I said now hold on, boy, don't be no fool. You gotta get your hands dirty, work like a mule. Spend your whole life being rid of kettle. Another load came in. Another load came in. Joe passed out, hit his head, notified his next kin. It's corn and stew for lunch again. Here, Cola. God. Another load came in. The mailman's here. Another load came in. What's that smell? Another load came in. Another load came in. Thank you very much.

[Christy]

Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

[Christopher]

Very important test. Yes, Very well. That would be a. Be a rough gig.

[Jeff]

Pat, you looked so red. Yeah, I was afraid I was gonna have to go grab the defibrillator.

[Tom]

I know, right?

[Pat]

Gotta get into character. Hit those high springs.

[Jeff]

Killed it.

[Christopher]

Now, on a different note, we go to the A stack of letters we've just received.

[Christy]

Yeah. Backing up over here.

[Christopher]

I mentioned the smells of certain towns.

[Tom]

I have a couple of them here.

[Christopher]

If you're in Hershey, Pennsylvania, you smell the chocolate? The pretzel factory. You smell pretzels? What do you got over there, Chris?

[Tom]

I work in Vandalia, Ohio, near the Dayton airport.

[Christy]

Absolutely.

[Tom]

And a White Castle food processing plant.

[Christy]

Oh, nice.

[Tom]

Most mornings it smells like grilled onions.

[Christy]

Grilled? Grilled onions?

[Tom]

Yeah, that's what it says.

[Christopher]

Oh, we got this one.

[Tom]

Hey, thanks, Christopher.

[Christopher]

Dennis works down the road from Aunt Millie's Bakery in Fremont, Indiana.

[Tom]

Oh, that would be a good Millie's.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

Baked bread every day.

[Tom]

Yeah, we have one of those from Klosterman's Bakery in Springfield, Ohio.

[Pat]

Sure.

[Tom]

Yeah. Chris from Springfield says especially when it's hot in the summer, you can really smell the bread baking.

[Christopher]

It's beautiful because sometimes we get lucky when they do the raisin bread. Oh, most of the time it smells like toast. Thank you, Bird Dog. Appreciate you taking the time to write.

[Christy]

Richard from Nicholasville, Kentucky. I grew up a few blocks away from the Jif factory in Lexington. Unmistakable smell that I'll never forget from my childhood. I can smell it as I pass through Lexington sometimes. Thanks for reminding me of that. Great memory this morning. Well, you're welcome, Richard.

[Christopher]

And I don't want to chill the room, so I'm not going to read the one from Steve Downwind from the crematorium.

[Tom]

They don't smell. I don't know.

[Christy]

Hey, remember the walk up music topic we had?

[Tom]

Yeah, I got one of those.

[Christy]

For your car? Yeah. Good morning, Bob and Tom show. I've listened since day one. Kim says, all right, how about that? My walk up to my car would be Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye.

[Tom]

Well, that's a good one.

[Christy]

Oh, I like that.

[Christopher]

Now, the notion is some cars have this thing where when you walk up to them, they automatically open up, lights pop.

[Christy]

I think they kind of, sort of all do that.

[Christopher]

But my notion kind of like it's

[Christy]

the wheeled luggage of the automobile world for you.

[Tom]

Yes.

[Christy]

If you haven't noticed.

[Christopher]

I'm just trying. I know it's. I guess it's possible. I would like to have it when I'm 50ft from my car.

[Christy]

50?

[Christopher]

Yeah. I'd like a depth like. Like a PA system where it starts broadcasting my walk up music.

[Christy]

Is that right?

[Christopher]

Yeah. Which I think I'm gonna go with the rock and roll animal, Lou Reed intro from the live you're wrong album.

[Christy]

Chris has this suggestion for you, Tom. Well, I'll just play the song that he thinks should be your walk up music. Your automobile. Here,

[Christopher]

Tiny Tim,

[Christy]

with me.

[Tom]

How did that become a hit?

[Christy]

Oh, my God, I forgot that part. Okay, wrap it up, Timmy.

[Christopher]

Yeah, well, that was one of the last big novelty songs to make it make man. That was everywhere.

[Christy]

Fortunately, briefly, he got married on the Tonight Show.

[Christopher]

Remember that highest rated episode of the Tonight show?

[Christy]

Holy hell.

[Pat]

Ms. Vicky, right?

[Christopher]

Yeah. Didn't last all that long as I understand. He was in here, Mr. Tiny Tim.

[Tom]

He's a germaphobe, right?

[Christy]

He was not so tiny when he was in here.

[Christopher]

He was pretty and he was a very odd fellow.

[Tom]

On this walk up music topic, Brad is a real listener. He says, hello, radio personalities and chick. I would walk up music would be Aerosmith, big 10 inch. Have a great day. P.S. tom, we'll see you at the next meeting.

[Christopher]

That's good.

[Tom]

Thanks, Brad. Yeah, that is a fun song.

[Christopher]

That's a good one. Yeah. We're getting a lot of great suggestions for walk up music. Send us yours. Did we determine what yours was, Christy? Was it something in the song?

[Tom]

Oh, yeah. It was Highway Star by Deep Purple.

[Christopher]

Oh, yeah, That's a very good one. Yeah, that's a very good one.

[Christy]

If Tom doesn't want it. This is available, Christy, if you'd like.

[Tom]

Okay.

[Christy]

Anybody else? No.

[Tom]

Can you hear that tomorrow?

[Pat]

Yeah, it's here.

[Christy]

It comes with me. What the hell? That's rough, man.

[Tom]

Do you have a whole album or just that one song?

[Christy]

Oh.

[Christopher]

Oh, I'm sure that was an album.

[Christy]

Had to be an album.

[Pat]

First line is tiptoe through the window. What was he doing?

[Christopher]

Tiptoe through the window?

[Christy]

I don't know. I'm not sure. Through the window.

[Tom]

Tiptoe through the window. By the window.

[Christopher]

And then what is it?

[Christy]

I think he's saying he's looking through the window.

[Christopher]

Oh, I tiptoed to the window.

[Christy]

Tiptoe to the window.

[Christopher]

Yeah. So is this like a.

[Jeff]

Is this a some kind of peeping?

[Christopher]

Peeping Tom?

[Christy]

I think so.

[Christopher]

I never thought. I never heard it that way.

[Tom]

Oh, tiptoe through the window. By the window. That's where I'll be. Come tiptoe through the tulips with me. Yeah, this kind of like staring at her through the window.

[Christy]

I hope it's a safety glass.

[Pat]

You can crawl through a window.

[Christopher]

Why would you want to be tiptoeing through tulips anyway?

[Tom]

I don't know.

[Christopher]

Is there supposed to be some, like, romantic.

[Tom]

Yeah. He's gonna kiss you in the garden in the moonlight.

[Christopher]

Oh, is that code?

[Christy]

Yeah. Is that. Is that my butt? The garden.

[Tom]

In the movie, even flowers will stay.

[Christy]

Kiss my ass.

[Tom]

Yeah, whatever.

[Christy]

Remember the other flower song? Judd Strunk, Daisy A Day. Remember that?

[Tom]

No.

[Christy]

Oh, that was a huge song.

[Christopher]

Was that a funeral thing?

[Christy]

I think it was someone bringing her a dais.

[Tom]

You do?

[Christopher]

That leads into this letter. We had a story yesterday about the guy from which. How do you. How did you pronounce it? Galveston, Indiana.

[Tom]

Indiana? Yes.

[Christopher]

This guy's 90 some years old and he's been digging graves since 1952 when he just retired.

[Christy]

Yeah, he is.

[Christopher]

Get a lot of questions about graves. This comes to us from Matthew in Lebanon, Missouri.

[Christy]

That's Leannon. Okay, thank you.

[Christopher]

He said, I remember the story about an old guy that bought a double deep grave. He would always say, I hope I die. Excuse me? He would always say, I hope I die first. It'll be the first time my wife has been on top of me in 35 years.

[Christy]

Always a shot. Sounds like a loving, loving household.

[Christopher]

Things are going great.

[Tom]

This is interesting. This is from Blake in Ohio. My father in law and his nine brothers were all grave diggers for the Catholic church. They dug graves approximately as deep as a shovel is long. Eight Spade widths is also approximately four feet wide. Hard work. And most of them have back problems in their 50s and 60s. Because in older Catholic communities, they request graves to be dug by hand.

[Christy]

Whoa.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

That's a little bit rough. You're dead.

[Christy]

Anything else is a mortal sin.

[Tom]

What the heck? I've never heard that before. Had you, Jeff? You.

[Jeff]

No.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

That's probably the graves you get at whole Foods. You know, it's like the free range graves. Like those eggs that cost 15 bucks. You know, what the hell's the difference? I'd like my grave.

[Christy]

I don't know if it's legal in this state, but I'm sure it's legal in some states. You can be buried without any sort of embalming fluid or anything. They just wrap you in a cotton.

[Christopher]

Yeah, that cloth.

[Tom]

That's kind of becoming a six feet deep and go.

[Christopher]

It depends if you've been embalmed or something. Something. There's all kinds of. There's the one thing there where they put you in a big stainless steel jug or something.

[Christy]

I don't know.

[Tom]

And you bio degrade.

[Christy]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

And you. They.

[Tom]

They become compost.

[Christopher]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Mulch and spread me on the garden.

[Tom]

Yeah.

[Christy]

Yeah, that'd be cool.

[Christopher]

Be a weird gig.

[Jeff]

I want to do the thing. I want them to take me where they put you out in the field and they let like the animals go at you so that they can study like decomposition and stuff.

[Tom]

God, Jeff.

[Christopher]

Jeffrey. No.

[Jeff]

That's fun.

[Pat]

Fun.

[Jeff]

Yeah. A crow flies away with my eye. Like.

[Pat]

You never know. Your nipple rings.

[Jeff]

Oh, yeah.

[Christopher]

It's a shame. It was. The field was so close to the nursery school.

[Christy]

Scared the kids. What a weirdo you are.

[Christopher]

That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play and stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody.

[Jeff]

Busch light is as cold and smooth

[Christy]

as a mountain stream. Sounds refreshing, doesn't it? Head for the mountains of Busch.

[Jeff]

Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2026 Anheuser Busch Busch Light Beer, St. Louis, Missouri.