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Christopher
Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon we'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything. On today's big show. It's sexy time with Ally Breen. It's coming up in just a minute.
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Get in the zone.
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AutoZone.
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Welcome to AutoZone. What are you working on today? Hey, that's the spirit. Right now we're celebrating free with a free STP oil filter when you buy five quarts of oil. And free Duralast brake pads when you buy two rotors like always. Free battery testing, charging and recycling at every store. Celebrate free at AutoZone now through July 28th.
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Get in the zone.
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AutoZone Jingle
There's eight of us in a Jim Walter home. They got Joe Jeans and Microsoft. But these youngins are about to drive me out of my skull. They lost their minds and you lost your looks. You think I've slept with the telephone book but to tell you the truth I'm only halfway through the queue. And if you try to save this marriage again I kill you louder than an alp. Poor Devin Rude, you got us living on little league food. You're cooking corn dogs for a 35 year old man. And you've been laying around like I'm a nurse's aide how to draw checks from Medicaid. You laid on the sofa till your butt turned black and blue. And if you try to save this marriage again I kill you. I mean, call your lawyer, get him on the phone. Y' all can split. Everything that I divorce is rough and there's hell to pay. But we don't own anything anyway since you turned the end of the internal revenue. And if you try to save this marriage again I kid you, honey, call your lawyer, tell him everything. Man, that fat lady show could sing take the turn house and I wish you luck. There's a hooter girl waiting in the pickup truck. She's a 38D and she just turned 22. And if you try to save us mar again.
Bob
Now some more, Bob and Tom. This Is Bob and Tom extra? We ready to go?
AutoZone Representative
Okay.
Bob
Very good. Very good. We're gonna hook it up. There she is. It's Ally Breen. And at an unknown location. Are you at the TV station?
Ally Breen
I know. Now I'm in Florida. I have the same nondescript interrogation room background, I guess.
Bob
Where are you in Florida?
Ally Breen
Ocala. Doing Airbnb stuff.
Tom
Nice. That wall looks great. Behind you, Ali. Great paint job.
Bob
Are you?
Ally Breen
Thank you. Exactly.
Bob
Are you fixing up a house to make it an Airbnb again?
Ally Breen
Yes, exactly. Yeah. It's taking a little more work than I expected, but I still. It's fun. I need to start posting some DIY stuff because I know I'm learning a lot of you could take weird tricks.
Bob
You could take your shirt off.
Josh
Only Fans. Thank you. Same page. Tom, do a combination.
Bob
If you did like semi new DIY house painting, you'd get some people on your Only Fans account very quickly.
AutoZone Representative
You could do a DIY Joi.
Ally Breen
That's actually a pretty good idea. One of the. Yeah. One of the subscribers said that I should do one and call myself Boobs. Villa. Villa.
AutoZone Representative
Yeah.
Bob
Yeah. Boobzilla implies large boobs.
Ally Breen
Yeah, sounds like Boobzilla. Yeah.
Bob
He might be like Boobzillette or something.
Ally Breen
Exactly.
Bob
Ally can be found a L L I B in the world of Only fans and she can be found on social media platforms. A L L I B R E E N. I point this out because that's how you send letters to her, then she reads them to us and we do our best to try to help you with your love troubles. I don't know if it's our best, but we'll see. Let's get to a letter and see how we do.
Ally Breen
Oh, we'll do great. Dear Ally, my husband's ex girlfriend lost her job and he was sending her some money to help out. Well, it's been over a year and he's still helping support her. I got pretty upset with him saying that he's actually showing her he still cares and showing me that as well. And he said she just has no one and that he's being nice. Am I the one being an A hole here?
Tom
No, no, no. He's enabling her.
Josh
Yes.
Ally Breen
Get a job.
Josh
Yeah. It's not your responsibility anymore. You married this other woman. Leave her alone.
Bob
What's he getting out of it?
Josh
That's a good question.
Ally Breen
Nothing.
AutoZone Representative
I think he's just being nice.
Bob
Really?
AutoZone Representative
Yeah, I do.
Ally Breen
He obviously still cares.
AutoZone Representative
No, that's a woman's perspective, which is always Insane.
Josh
Coming from the single guy.
Bob
Once again, signed HJ Uber. You don't think there's any quim pro quo, if you will?
AutoZone Representative
I think, I think he's probably just.
Bob
Being nice for a year.
Josh
A year?
AutoZone Representative
Okay. I don't think he's just being nice. You think that's my opinion?
Bob
Well, I think it's. We've all learned that opinions can be wrong. Primarily.
Ally Breen
Yes, primarily. And also, who has. No one. I mean, like, there has to be some. Some other way of getting some help after a year. That's.
Bob
Josh.
Josh
Get a job. That would hurt.
Tom
Yeah.
Bob
You could step in and manage her only fans account.
AutoZone Representative
Oh, maybe she doesn't want to do that.
Bob
Well, then maybe it's time to hit the. Hit the streets and start Ally. To go back to our original concept of you doing this thing. Did you ever remember toward the end, Farrah Fawcett was doing this stuff where she'd roll around and paint and then she would roll across canvases and sell them?
Josh
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Ally Breen
Oh, funny. Vaguely. Was that. Did she do that for like Playboy or she was just doing that?
Bob
No, she was. She was selling them.
Josh
Yeah, she was.
Bob
You could, you could. As part of your DIY series, you could do body imprints on the wall.
Ally Breen
Oh, yeah. Oh, definitely. There's a. There's plenty of wall space and plenty of paint. There might be that happening this week.
Bob
Yeah. The cleanup would be a little weird.
Ally Breen
You know, you just kind of have to roll over and paint over it.
Josh
But to paint the. I mean, be hard to sell her wall.
Ally Breen
Yeah, exactly. I was going to say that's hard to monetize.
Tom
You painting your wall with your butt would be amazing.
Bob
Like, and I think. And I think you're missing my point is you do it. You do it in. You do an imprint of your body on a wall that you're going to repaint later and then show up. And by the way, you want to go with latex. Just.
Ally Breen
Yeah, it's gonna be really.
Bob
The cleanup of the naughty areas with an oil based paint is gonna be nasty.
Ally Breen
How much did Farrah Fawcett sell her paintings for?
Bob
But I'm just saying in your case, you're not selling the wall. You're selling the act of you doing it on only fans.
Ally Breen
Yes. The actual.
Bob
And there'd be activity. The actual flesh exposure would be limited because you're going to be covered in paint, you see.
Ally Breen
Well, that's the thing. Totally. Because there's actually naked people in Times Square that are just painted all the time. And it really doesn't look like they're.
Josh
Naked and they do it again.
Bob
So you essentially pour paint on the naughty parts, walk up to the wall, make the imprint, and then, yeah, hey, listen, I only want 20% of this. Who's in?
Tom
But you could get a drop cloth and just roll around in it in a video and then sell it to said person as well.
Josh
Oh, that would be a lot hotter than just pushing your boobs up against a wall.
Tom
Oh, no, that boob's fit into.
AutoZone Representative
You know, I didn't think it was that hot until you just said it.
Tom
Like, how else are you gonna get those corners? Al, you gotta do the cut in with a boob. It's gonna be easier.
Ally Breen
Ah, that's how to do it. Okay. I actually just wanna try dipping myself in paint and rolling around and seeing if it comes out like a good painting.
Bob
I think it'd be fun.
Ally Breen
Maybe I should hang. Maybe I should hang those in the Airbnb without telling people what they are. That's fun.
Bob
I think you'd get some serious cash out of this.
AutoZone Representative
I. I'm kind of ashamed that I. I used to paint and multiple times, like, a woman would come over and be like, oh, I like your painting. I'd be like, we should do a painting of you and she. But I did, like, abstract. I'd be like, oh, we'll paint your body and press it against the canvas. Five different women allowed me to do that. Pretty awesome. Yeah, it was really awesome. And then they took their painting when they left.
Josh
Are you serious?
AutoZone Representative
Yes. Yeah. One of the girls I know, she still has it above, like, her couch, and no one knows it's her because it's all abstract looking, but it's her butt and her boobs, like, pressed against the canvas.
Ally Breen
That's amazing.
Bob
I think Allie, I think it would work. That's crazy, because you wouldn't.
Ally Breen
I think so too.
Bob
There'd be a minimum of exposure, technically. Because you got paint on it.
AutoZone Representative
Yeah. It's very abstract.
Ally Breen
Jeff's story sounds like what people put on Craigslist when they're like, come over for a casting call and then all of a sudden you're like, you're pressing your boobs against Kansas.
AutoZone Representative
I can't believe it. Work.
Ally Breen
I can't eat times.
Josh
It works.
Ally Breen
I know now I need to try that. The paintings came out cool looking like it did. It does.
AutoZone Representative
It came out very abstract. And you'd kind of smear part of it and lay part of it. Did it lead to sex or just having to like wash brushes. Well, once. The other type. One of the times, it was two friends who did it. Yeah. And there was. Unfortunately. This is how you could just finally see your friends naked. Yeah. No, it was. I didn't know them. The two girls were friends who came over and they both. Doesn't matter. Naked friends. Let's all enjoy.
Josh
We were this close to a threesome.
Ally Breen
Yeah.
Bob
Hello again.
Ally Breen
Yeah, look at that.
Bob
We are speaking with Ali Breen, comedian. The show is called Sexy Time, and Ally is in Florida currently putting together an Airbnb. Is your sister involved in this?
Ally Breen
No, not this one. This one is just me.
Bob
Really? Is your boyfriend involved? Nope.
Ally Breen
All me. Yeah. Everyone. It's a lot of work, so everyone else is stepping back and I'm diving in. Exactly.
AutoZone Representative
Keep the profit for yourself.
Ally Breen
I'm telling you a question about the painting. If you do, I wonder if you could actually make, like, if the girl has big enough boobs. If you can make them like mountains and then do, like, butt lakes and do, like, a hole.
Bob
I think just go. Just go abstract. All you have to do is put the pain in your body, rub again, roll on the paint, roll across the thing, and it's a short movie. But that's it. That's what they want to see.
AutoZone Representative
Yeah.
Ally Breen
Yep.
Bob
You can become Jackson. Jackson Pubic, I believe, depending on the nature of the brush.
AutoZone Representative
Sure. Yeah. Maybe.
Bob
Maybe more like finger painting down there. I don't know. I think we've established a corner that I've just painted myself into. The only way out of this is to go. Ali Breed is our guest. Why don't you read us our first letter?
Ally Breen
Here we go.
AutoZone Representative
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Bob
See what I did there?
AutoZone Representative
Yeah.
Ally Breen
I was watching the P. Diddy coverage with my husband, and I was saying how crazy it was he. That he liked to see his girlfriend have sex with other people. My husband said, I'd be surprised that a lot of guys are into that, including him. And we kind of both started talking about it as a fantasy in our sex life. But then all of a sudden, I started thinking that he doesn't really care about me that much if he wouldn't be jealous. And now it's actually turned into a fight when he tries to bring it up. I don't like that he'd like watching me with somebody else. And now I can't get over it. Am I right or wrong on this? Oh, wow.
Tom
I think he does care about you. It's just his fetish, the fantasy.
Bob
It sounds to me like he really Wants to do this.
AutoZone Jingle
You brought it up, bitch.
AutoZone Representative
I'm sure you started this.
Ally Breen
That's the best.
AutoZone Representative
She did.
Josh
I know. Totally did. What does she do?
Ally Breen
This girl is not helping a woman's cause of not looking crazy.
Tom
We think too much.
Ally Breen
Just don't.
Tom
You know what? Go do it. Go find some hot guy and have your boyfriend watch. Just enjoy.
Ally Breen
Actually, Jesse is totally right.
Josh
He does.
Ally Breen
That would solve it.
Bob
Maybe he does. Who knows? Whatever.
AutoZone Representative
Yeah, I. I'm kind of.
Ally Breen
She's like, yeah, George at work is pretty. Let me bring him home.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
And then if he gets mad, then he's the crazy one. See there?
AutoZone Representative
You don't know until you try, right?
Tom
Absolutely.
Ally Breen
Yeah.
AutoZone Representative
Boy. Just setting traps. That was a huge trap.
Ally Breen
The best part was it wasn't even intentional. She was into it and then actually got a huge trap.
AutoZone Representative
She didn't even know it was a trap.
Ally Breen
Yeah.
Josh
So you think that's what we do? We sit around trying to make traps?
AutoZone Representative
I think things turn into traps.
Josh
Okay.
AutoZone Representative
Yeah. Yeah.
Bob
What is. What does Diddy call it again?
AutoZone Representative
Freak off.
Ally Breen
Freak off.
Bob
Freak off. Okay. Allegedly.
Josh
By the way, anybody use baby oil like that before?
Ally Breen
Oh, like pool fulls of baby oil. No, that just.
Bob
Wouldn't that. Ditch your mattress all greasy.
Josh
Wouldn't it be awful?
Ally Breen
Yeah. I think they said he always had to pay like thousands of dollars in damages every time they used a hotel room.
AutoZone Representative
You want some friction, right?
Josh
Yeah.
Ally Breen
Otherwise you just keep sliding by.
Bob
It's like a slip and slide. I need a handle. For God's sake. What am I doing way down here? Ali Breed is our guest. Allie's a very fine stand up comedian and she's also got a di. Diy. Ally, you've got to do this.
Ally Breen
I definitely will.
Bob
It will absolutely work. Where do you get giant. Where do you get giant sheets of paper?
Josh
I didn't get giant canvases at any art school.
AutoZone Representative
Just get a drop cloth.
Ally Breen
That's a good point.
Bob
If it's a drop cloth, it'll. How do you hang that up?
AutoZone Representative
I mean, if you wrap it around the stretcher.
Josh
Yeah.
AutoZone Representative
You can. You can go to Michael's.
Ally Breen
Exactly.
Tom
Yeah. Then they can lay with you after they purchase your.
Bob
But I think the trick to this is you just. You put the paint on and you just roll once or it's just going to get.
Ally Breen
Oh, is that it? Otherwise.
AutoZone Representative
Unless you do multiple colors.
Bob
Yeah, but I mean otherwise. But then you kind of. You have sort of an imprint of what's going on.
AutoZone Representative
Right, right.
Bob
But to be worth experimenting. Yeah. You can Google the Farrah Fawcett thing because she did a whole bunch of them, and it kind of got.
WhatsApp Representative
I will.
Ally Breen
I totally forgot about that.
Bob
There's a much worse. There's a much worse technique. And this is. You're going to think I'm making this up, but I am not. You can also search this. There was a guy who did enema painting.
AutoZone Representative
Keith Odry.
Ally Breen
That's a real Jackson Pollock from another. That's horrible.
Bob
No, it's true. And he would put different colors in, and then who would buy them? Who knows? But he would. What's the word I'm looking for? Excrete them, if you will, onto the canvas.
Ally Breen
That is horrific.
Bob
Yeah, no, it's true. But he had to use. As I recall, he had a special paint that wasn't going to poison him.
Ally Breen
Oh, yeah. That could be dangerous.
AutoZone Representative
It was rectum friendly. Yeah.
Bob
Yeah.
Ally Breen
Imagine asking that question at the paint store.
Bob
Yeah.
AutoZone Representative
Imagine trying to pick out the funnel so you can load it up. Imagine him having to sit on that machine and get shaken.
Bob
That was probably the best part.
Ally Breen
Yeah, he liked that.
AutoZone Representative
Okay.
Bob
Yeah. That's another thing you can search. Yeah. Key Keith Beaudry. Once again, the show is sexy time. We have time for one more letter. Ali Breen. What do we got?
Ally Breen
Dear Ally, my girlfriend got into a car accident and her ex has been texting her to see how she's been doing. I saw this, and I got mad because how did he even know she was in the car accident unless they were in touch beforehand and found. And she said he found out through a friend, and I was overreacting. I'm suspicious either way. What do you guys think?
AutoZone Representative
You're an untrusting idiot.
Bob
You're a jerk.
AutoZone Representative
You're a lunatic.
Bob
Josh had to hesitate because he already used his all of his bitch allowances.
Ally Breen
I love that Josh.
Bob
During this break, you can just see.
Ally Breen
Josh getting angrier and angrier throughout this whole segment. It's a real progression.
Bob
This does seem a little milder than the other one. So her friend, her ex, is in an accident, and someone says something to him. So he says, hey, get better soon or something.
Josh
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tom
When someone's in an accident, it gets around. Like you tell one friend. They tell someone Definitely.
Ally Breen
Yeah.
AutoZone Representative
They have a history. Look, that's fine. You're fine, man. She's with you?
Bob
Okay.
Ally Breen
Yes.
AutoZone Representative
All right.
Bob
So are we going to end on a pleasant note like that?
Josh
Yes.
Ally Breen
You want to go with one more or you think we're good?
Bob
Let's go with one more. See what we can ruin. Go ahead. What have you got?
Ally Breen
Okay. My wife. Dear Allie. My wife is a stay at home mom and she just started going to night school two nights a week while I'm home with the kids.
AutoZone Representative
I'm against it at first.
Ally Breen
You come home right after class, and lately the nights are getting later and later. She said sometimes the students need to work together on a project and they'll just go out to a diner. I'm suspicious that it's probably one person and not the whole class. How do I check up on this again?
AutoZone Representative
This boy, as somebody who took night classes, this happens.
Josh
Yeah.
AutoZone Representative
You really. Hey, let's all go grab a drink or a burger or coffee and talk about the project we have to do. Yeah.
Ally Breen
She's like, but are there also hookups?
Bob
Absolutely.
AutoZone Representative
I think Jeff may have a good point here too.
Ally Breen
Oh, here we go.
AutoZone Representative
Oh, I was just gonna say she's not gonna leave you till after she gets her de. That's why she's at school, so she could better herself to get away from it. When you have a good babysitter, you stick with them. She's not gonna ruin that.
Christopher
That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play and stitcher. For Bob and Tom. Extra, this is Christopher. Take care, everybody.
Josh
Mom and dad, I'm growing at an alarming rate, and clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. But at least your wa. It doesn't have to be. My fashion victim. With low prices for school at Amazon. Hope that helps Amazon spend less, smile more.
Podcast Summary: B&T Extra – Alli Breen with Sexy Time
Podcast Information:
Overview: In this engaging episode of B&T Extra, Hosts Bob and Tom are joined by comedian Alli Breen to discuss a variety of topics centered around DIY projects, creative content creation, and navigating relationship dilemmas. The conversation is laced with humor, insightful advice, and entertaining banter, offering listeners both laughs and practical tips.
The episode kicks off with Bob and Tom introducing their guest, Alli Breen, a stand-up comedian currently in Florida working on setting up an Airbnb. Alli shares her experiences and the challenges she's facing in transforming a property into a profitable rental space.
Alli Breen [00:03:37]: “Ocala. Doing Airbnb stuff. It’s taking a little more work than I expected, but it’s still fun.”
Bob [00:04:06]: “If you did like semi-new DIY house painting, you’d get some people on your OnlyFans account very quickly.”
The hosts delve into creative ways Alli can monetize her DIY projects, particularly through platforms like OnlyFans. They brainstorm unconventional and humorous ideas for content creation, focusing on body painting as a unique selling point.
Alli Breen [00:05:23]: “Get a job. That would hurt.”
Tom [00:07:28]: “You’re cooking corn dogs for a 35-year-old man.”
The conversation takes a playful turn as they discuss transforming DIY painting sessions into engaging content, with suggestions ranging from abstract body imprints to more avant-garde art forms.
Alli Breen takes center stage in the "Sexy Time" segment, where she addresses listener-submitted letters seeking relationship advice. Two main letters are discussed:
a. Supporting an Ex-Girlfriend Financially [00:05:03 – 00:15:24]
A listener expresses frustration over her husband continuing to financially support his ex-girlfriend, questioning whether she's in the wrong for feeling upset.
Alli Breen [00:05:03]: “Dear Ally, my husband's ex-girlfriend lost her job and he was sending her some money to help out… Am I the one being an A-hole here?”
Tom [00:05:23]: “No, he’s enabling her.”
AutoZone Representative [00:06:07]: “I think he's just being nice for a year.”
The hosts and the AutoZone Representative debate the implications of financial support beyond the relationship, ultimately advising the listener to set boundaries.
b. Dealing with Jealousy Over a Partner's Fantasies [00:11:37 – 00:17:38]
Another listener seeks advice on feeling insecure about her husband's interest in seeing her with other people, which has now become a source of conflict.
Alli Breen [00:11:37]: “Dear Ally, my husband and I discussed his fantasy of seeing me with someone else… Am I right or wrong on this?”
Tom [00:13:00]: “Go do it. Go find some hot guy and have your boyfriend watch. Just enjoy.”
AutoZone Representative [00:13:08]: “She's like, yeah, George at work is pretty. Let me bring him home.”
The discussion highlights the complexities of open relationships and the importance of communication and mutual consent.
Interspersed throughout the episode are humorous interjections from an AutoZone Representative, adding a layer of comedic relief. The representative often provides quirky suggestions and humorous takes on the topics discussed.
AutoZone Representative [00:09:27]: “I've been painting too abstractly. One of the girls I know still has it above her couch, and no one knows it's her because it's all abstract looking.”
AutoZone Representative [00:15:56]: “Imagine asking that question at the paint store.”
The lighthearted exchanges contribute to the show's overall entertaining atmosphere, keeping listeners engaged and amused.
As the episode wraps up, Alli Breen reflects on the advice given, expressing her intent to experiment with the proposed creative ideas.
The hosts encourage Alli to pursue her creative projects with enthusiasm, leaving the audience with a sense of support and anticipation for her future endeavors.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
Conclusion: This episode of B&T Extra successfully blends humor with practical advice, providing listeners with both entertainment and thoughtful insights into DIY projects and relationship dynamics. Alli Breen's candid discussions and the hosts' witty interactions create a lively and relatable atmosphere, making it a must-listen for fans of The BOB & TOM Show.