B&T Extra: Bear Sized Beavers, Fossils, & Toucans

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Extra (August 25, 2025): Bear Sized Beavers, Fossils, & Toucans

Episode Overview

This episode of The BOB & TOM Show Extra features the signature roundtable of Bob Kevoian, Tom Griswold, Kristi Lee, Chad Zumock, and Pat Godwin as they riff on bizarre news stories, state fossils, animal hijinks, and oddball smuggling cases. With their trademark mix of dad jokes, banter, and musical comedy, the crew dig into topics including Minnesota's giant beaver, dinosaur bone discoveries, robotic coyotes for airports, and the smuggling of toucans, parrots, and snakes.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Minnesota's Newly Named State Fossil: The Giant Beaver

[03:24 – 06:11]

• Kristi Lee kicks off discussion with the news that Minnesota has declared the ancient "bear-sized beaver" (Castoroides ohioensis) as its official state fossil.
• The creature, from the Ice Age, could reach 7 feet and weigh over 200 pounds.
• Panelists riff on the fossil's name (“Ohioensis”) and joke about other state fossils and ancient senators.

Notable Quotes

• "Beavers as big as Ohio." — Chad Zumock [04:06]
• "Oldest fossil from Kentucky? Mitch McConnell." — Kristi Lee [04:38]

Additional Fossil Facts

• Origin of Minnesota’s state fossil campaign began with third graders’ proposal in 1988.
• Other state fossils discussed: Missouri’s crinoid (sea lily), Ohio’s trilobite and Dunkleosteus, with plenty of wordplay and puns.

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2. Pat Godwin’s Puppy Song: “I’m Never Getting My Deposit Back”

[06:11 – 08:22]

• Pat Godwin performs a musical comedy about the joys and pitfalls of dog ownership, inspired by his own puppy, Brody.
• The song is peppered with classic country stylings and details of damaged rental property.

Notable Quote

• "He chewed the molding and barfed on the carpet, got out of the crate and the floors got scratched... I'm never getting my deposit back." — Pat Godwin [07:25]

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3. Fossil Finds at a Denver Dinosaur Museum

[08:47 – 10:29]

• News of fossilized dinosaur bones discovered during a parking lot expansion at Denver’s Museum of Nature & Science.
• Discussion veers into irony and analogies, comparing the find to digging up hamburgers while building a McDonald’s.
• The team jokes about excavation, history, and accessibility (handicap parking leading to a wheelchair fossil).

Notable Quotes

• "How fortuitous that it would be right there at the museum." — Bob Kevoian [09:53]
• "Be like building McDonald’s and you start digging and, my gosh, they’re hamburgers!" — Tom Griswold [10:25]

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4. High-Tech “Coyote Rover” Scare Tactics for Airport Runways

[12:01 – 14:52]

• The U.S. military is deploying robotic ground vehicles equipped with life-size faux coyotes to prevent wildlife (especially birds) from interfering with aircraft.
• Panel jokes about plastic coyotes, Roomba-like technology, and the inspiration for this device.

Notable Quotes

• "Sounds like something Wile E. would come up with... made by the Acme Company." — Tom Griswold [13:12, 13:19]
• "Do apartment complexes put fake coyotes?... So the geese don’t crap all over the park." — Pat Godwin & Bob Kevoian [13:56–14:05]

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5. Bizarre Smuggling Busts: Toucans, Parrots & Snakes

A. Toucans Under the Dashboard [15:08 – 16:59]

• 14 live keel-billed toucans discovered beneath the dashboard of a Volkswagen Passat at a U.S.-Mexico border crossing.
• The value of these exotic birds ($5,000 each) and the driver’s implausible denial are mocked.

Notable Quotes

• "He was not aware of how toucans got into his car." — Bob Kevoian [16:02]
• "Follow your nose." — Tom Griswold [16:23]
• "The dogs are trained to detect Fruit Loops." — Kristi Lee [16:27]

B. Parrots in a Bag (Texas) [17:22 – 17:40]

• 20 undeclared parrots found inside a woman’s vehicle at the Texas border; jokes about “Polly would like some air.”
• Chad Zumock names a parrot “Dennis Miller” for comedic effect.

C. Snakes in the Underwear (Thailand) [18:06 – 19:54]

• Sri Lankan man arrested in Thailand with three ball pythons in his underwear.
• Rapid-fire jokes about “Snakes on a Wang,” pythons squeezing "your balls off," and the man’s (fictionalized) name: “Dick Medusa.”

Notable Quotes

• "Wouldn't they literally squeeze your balls off?" — Kristi Lee [18:44]
• "Dick Medusa... For Dick Medusa, turn to stone, right?" — Kristi Lee [19:26–19:39]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:24] – Minnesota’s bear-sized beaver as state fossil
• [05:17] – State fossil legislation history and other state fossils
• [06:13] – Pat Godwin’s “I’m Never Getting My Deposit Back”
• [08:56] – Dinosaur bones discovered at Denver museum
• [12:01] – Airport coyote robots to scare wildlife
• [15:08] – 14 toucans found hidden in a car
• [17:22] – Smuggled parrots at Texas border
• [18:06] – Man caught with pythons in underwear

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

"Oldest fossil from Kentucky? Mitch McConnell."
— Kristi Lee [04:38]

"He chewed the molding and barfed on the carpet, got out of the crate and the floors got scratched... I'm never getting my deposit back."
— Pat Godwin [07:25]

"Follow your nose."
— Tom Griswold [16:23]

"Wouldn't they literally squeeze your balls off?"
— Kristi Lee [18:44]

"Dick Medusa... For Dick Medusa, turn to stone, right?"
— Kristi Lee [19:26–19:39]

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Tone & Style

The discussion is lighthearted, irreverent, and deeply comedic, with the panel frequently riffing on each other’s jokes, engaging in wordplay, and veering into playful tangents. These seasoned radio personalities use current news as a jumping-off point for sketches, satire, and music.

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Summary

This Bob & Tom Extra offers a rapid-fire parade of weird news, puns, and musical comedy—exactly what regular listeners expect from the classic morning show. Topics include prehistoric giant beavers, unexpected fossil finds, inventive wildlife control, and over-the-top animal smuggling stories, all filtered through the show’s signature blend of banter, mockery, and playful groaning at their own bad puns.

Transcript

[NHTSA Public Service Announcer]

Did you know that driving under the influence of marijuana is illegal? Driving high will get you a dui. And if you're wondering if law enforcement can tell you're driving high, well, everyone else can.

[Bob Kevoian]

Friends, I can tell you drove high. Parents, I can tell when you drive high.

[NHTSA Public Service Announcer]

Relatives, I can tell you drove here high, didn't you? So what makes you think law enforcement can't. I can tell if you feel different, you drive different. Drive high, Get a DUI Paid for by NHTSA.

[State Farm Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Checking off the boxes on your to do list is a great feeling. And when it comes to checking off coverage, a State Farm agent can help you choose an option that's right for you. Whether you prefer talking in person, on the phone or using the award winning app, it's nice knowing you have help finding coverage that best fits your needs. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[Christopher (Producer/Announcer)]

Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon. We'll give you a little extra. In case you missed anything on the big show today. Bear sized beavers plus fossils and toucans coming up in just a minute.

[NHTSA Public Service Announcer (Alternate Version)]

Hey, folks, let me ask you a serious question. Did you know that driving high is considered driving under the influence? That's right. Driving under the influence of marijuana is against the law in every state. That means even in states where marijuana is legal, that means driving high could get you a dui. And if you think law enforcement officers can't tell when you're driving high, well, my friend, you're wrong. If you're high, they can tell. Your friends can tell. Your co workers can tell. Even your parents can tell. Everyone can tell. So what makes you think that law enforcement officers don't know when you're driving high? You'd be wrong. They can tell, too. Driving under the influence of marijuana can slow your response time and change how you perceive time and speed. So even if you think you're fine to drive when you're high, you're not. Because the bottom line is if you feel different, you drive different. And driving high is driving under the influence. So remember, drive high. Get a DUI. Paid for by Nitza okay.

[Unknown Narrator/Singer]

911 in the evening when it's quiet in the neighborhood and I need I put my feet up on the easy chair I'm feeling good A crow by cracking open my back door Grab the phone and I hit the floor I'm dialing N I N E on I n e n e 91 1.

[Tom Griswold]

For those of you who always need something extra.

[Kristi Lee]

Well, here you go.

[Chad Zumock]

This is Bob and Tom.

[Kristi Lee]

Extra. Oh, we have Christy Lee right over there. She's at the Silac Insurance news desk. What's happening?

[Bob Kevoian]

Well, ancient bear sized beavers are now Minnesota's official state fossil.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, how about that?

[Kristi Lee]

Did you know that? That they had a state fossil?

[Tom Griswold]

I did, yeah.

[Chad Zumock]

What state?

[Tom Griswold]

Vermont. Bernie Sanders.

[Bob Kevoian]

This is Minneapolis or Minnesota?

[Chad Zumock]

Minnesota.

[Bob Kevoian]

NPR reports that a bill that went into effect on July 1 included a short provision about the massive Ice Age rodent called giant beavers or castoroides. Ohio Nesus, the creature which roamed the Twin cities more than 10,000 years ago, could reach 7ft long and weigh more than 200 pounds.

[Chad Zumock]

Beavers as big as Ohio.

[Bob Kevoian]

The giant Beaver's journey to becoming.

[Kristi Lee]

Glad you noticed that. It's got the word. Oh, they must have discovered the first ones in Ohio.

[Bob Kevoian]

I'm surprised that's not the official Ohioensis. Yeah.

[Kristi Lee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

Or it may have nothing to do with the state.

[Chad Zumock]

Yeah, it may not have anything.

[Kristi Lee]

Why would they put Ohio in there?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, Ohio giant beetle.

[Kristi Lee]

It doesn't say Delaware, does it? Who's the oldest fossil from Delaware?

[Tom Griswold]

Josh boy, Bernie Sanders again.

[Kristi Lee]

I'd go with Biden on that one.

[Bob Kevoian]

The giant Beaver's Journey.

[Kristi Lee]

Oldest fossil from Kentucky. Let's be fair here. Mitch McConnell. I mean, yeah, old senators.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely.

[Chad Zumock]

Ohio has two state fossils, Isotelus, an invertebrate trilobite, and D. Dunkleosteus, a fossil that can dunk from the free throw line.

[Kristi Lee]

Oh, nice.

[Chad Zumock]

Isn't that interesting?

[Bob Kevoian]

Ohioansis.

[Chad Zumock]

They're both. They don't have any. What are they? Squids? They don't have any bones.

[Kristi Lee]

That's nice that they're having enough. They have time to have an official fossil.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah. The giant beaver's journey to becoming Minnesota's state fossil began in at least 1988 with a proposal from a group of third graders at the time, so.

[Chad Zumock]

Oh, perfect. Now we're listening to Kids. That's great. Well, not Missouri. State fossil is the crinoid. C R I, N, O, I D. They're sad fossils. They're very, very sad and cry constantly. The plaintiff cry of the cryoid can be hurt. It was named the State Fossil in 1989 after students from Lee's Summit.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, sure, yeah. Near Kansas City.

[Chad Zumock]

A big, big campaign for that, huh? Crinoids are nicknamed sea lilies. The letter C. Oh, and then the word lily because they.

[Kristi Lee]

We don't have time to read all of them from each state. Pat, you got a song for us?

[Pat Godwin]

I do indeed.

[Kristi Lee]

This needs a setup.

[Pat Godwin]

Does it? This is about my Jimmy's dog, Brody. And Oscar and his daughter are taking care of him this week.

[Kristi Lee]

You're leaving for a week and taking your son away now?

[Chad Zumock]

What? Explain him leaving? No.

[Kristi Lee]

Well, no, he's got his.

[Chad Zumock]

He's got that.

[Kristi Lee]

Pat got a dog. And we all are proud of Pat for being able to.

[Chad Zumock]

And the dog is still alive, as.

[Pat Godwin]

Far as we know. Seven months old.

[Tom Griswold]

I'm just glad we're not doing beaver gun bad.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, me too.

[Tom Griswold]

You're not the only one.

[Kristi Lee]

Oh.

[Pat Godwin]

Getting the puppy was a great idea. My son's joy is worth the price. Potty training was harder than expected. And all of your friends giving you advice, Take them out a lot. No late night snacks. Put him in the crate, Keep him on track, Buddy ruin the floor Landlord give me flack. I'm not getting my deposit back. Sniff, sniff, sniff. Yep, yep, yep.

[Kristi Lee]

Bark, bark, bark.

[Pat Godwin]

Nap, nap, nap. Piss, piss, piss, crap, crap, crap. I'm never getting my deposit back. He chewed the molding and barfed on the carpet Got out of the crate and the floors got scratched Jumped for ball and the window got cracked I'm never getting my deposit back. Hello, unconditional love, goodbye. $2,000. 385 bucks for the vet 100 for the toys 30 for the collar Snip, snip, soon. Yep, yep, yeah. Choo, choo, choo. Crap, crap, crap. We love our little Brody but these are the facts I'm never getting my deposit back. O Brody. We love our little Brody Sometimes we have to scold he won't stay off of the couch. Oh, de Brody. He's not a year old. He pees on the bed and has my apple watch in his mouth. I can tell you with some certainty with the holes in the carpets, the stains and the cracks, the damage to the floors, these are the facts. I'm never getting my deposit back. I'm never getting my deposit back.

[Bob Kevoian]

All right.

[Kristi Lee]

Very good.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you.

[Kristi Lee]

And Pat's new project, his new video, will be getting released very soon.

[Pat Godwin]

The late, late fall.

[Kristi Lee]

Okay, we'll look forward to that. On. On dry bar they call it. We'll look forward to that, certainly. But right now, we look forward to seeing Christy Lee where she is, which is at the Silac Insurance news desk.

[Bob Kevoian]

We're not done with our fossil talk.

[Kristi Lee]

We have more fossils?

[Chad Zumock]

Wait a minute. Hold on. I need to look for Christy Lee where she is. Hang on a second. There. There she is. All right. Yep.

[Bob Kevoian]

Workers at Denver's Museum of Nature and Science made an outstanding find while excavating a parking lot expansion. They unearthed fossilized dinosaur bones. Paleontologists rushed to the scene.

[Tom Griswold]

As opposed to fresh dinosaur bones.

[Bob Kevoian]

Rushed to the scene upon discovering limb and vertebra fragments embedded deep in the gravel. Initial analysis suggests the specimen could be tens of millions of years old. Possibly.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, yeah, they're dinosaur bones belonging to.

[Bob Kevoian]

A species not previously cataloged in Colorado. Fossil shape suggest it was a duck billed dinosaur. Or who. Some name I can't pronounce. A smaller but somewhat similar species. What is it? A Solasaurus.

[Chad Zumock]

It also might be the Wilson's dog. We're not.

[Tom Griswold]

We're not quite sure. We know it was holding a Corona bottle.

[Chad Zumock]

Who knows. Who knows how old Corona is, but.

[Bob Kevoian]

How fortuitous that it would be right there at the museum.

[State Farm Announcer]

Right.

[Kristi Lee]

And that it's a dinosaur museum. That's kind of.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah. So they didn't build it there knowing that that was a hotbed for fossils.

[Bob Kevoian]

Wow.

[Chad Zumock]

So it almost defines irony.

[Kristi Lee]

Yeah. They're digging away and.

[Chad Zumock]

Yeah, ta da.

[Tom Griswold]

How about that?

[Chad Zumock]

It'd be like free exhibit. Putting up a new sporting goods store and finding baseballs.

[Tom Griswold]

You're exactly right.

[Kristi Lee]

Yeah, that's.

[Tom Griswold]

That's the perfect analogy.

[Kristi Lee]

I didn't understand it right till he. Till he explained that it'd be like.

[Tom Griswold]

Building McDonald's and you start digging him. My gosh, they're hamburgers.

[Chad Zumock]

That's right.

[Kristi Lee]

So let me give me a couple more analogies because I don't understand what happened. So this is a dinosaur museum.

[Chad Zumock]

That's right.

[Kristi Lee]

They're digging up the parking lot and.

[Chad Zumock]

What do they find?

[Kristi Lee]

Yeah, I. I heard dinosaur bones, but I heard. I heard they started digging in the handicap parking area and they dug up a wheelchair.

[Chad Zumock]

That's right. You won't hear much about.

[Tom Griswold]

That was the old minute. Rosa Veldasaurus, I believe.

[Chad Zumock]

Yeah, that was the.

[Kristi Lee]

Now you missed something, really, with the old brakes. My favorite thing from last week was the. That I asked this trivia question. Who was the first president to go through the Panama Canal?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, was it Franklin?

[Kristi Lee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Roosevelt.

[Kristi Lee]

No, it was Franklin Delano Roosevelt Jet ski.

[Tom Griswold]

That's a good joke.

[Kristi Lee]

Once they, you know, the reporters looked the other way. They dropped him on the Jet Ski. I guess he could hit the gas, Frank.

[Tom Griswold]

Plus, I'm picturing that. I'm picturing the blanket.

[Chad Zumock]

He could be on a Jet Ski.

[Bob Kevoian]

On a Jet Ski.

[Chad Zumock]

Well, they have to put the blanket on so they See, they. You don't see his legs strapped to the jet.

[Tom Griswold]

Of course, he's got that long cigarette there. We need one of these at Campobello.

[Kristi Lee]

This is awesome. What is it?

[Chad Zumock]

Well, hot springs, isn't that word? Yeah, yeah, Hot springs.

[Kristi Lee]

That's right.

[Chad Zumock]

All right. Are you going to send it back to Christy?

[Kristi Lee]

Well, I got to see. You know where you're going to see her?

[Bob Kevoian]

Where are you going to see me?

[Kristi Lee]

You're going to see her right over there where she is.

[Unknown Narrator/Singer]

Yes.

[Kristi Lee]

So when we get back to Christy, she'll be speaking because that's where she is.

[Chad Zumock]

All right.

[Kristi Lee]

You know where she is? She's at the Zilac insurance news desk.

[Chad Zumock]

That's right.

[Bob Kevoian]

And the US military is turning to high tech scare tactics.

[Unknown Narrator/Singer]

Boo.

[Bob Kevoian]

On aircraft runways.

[Kristi Lee]

Now, I think this is. This is the future. This is such a great idea to.

[Bob Kevoian]

Reduce a serious threat to aircraft. Bird and wildlife interference. We've heard the story many times. You know, when a bird gets sucked into an engine, it can cause serious problems.

[Pat Godwin]

Don't say that.

[Bob Kevoian]

According to Army Times.

[Chad Zumock]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Particularly at night.

[Chad Zumock]

It happens a lot more often.

[Kristi Lee]

You're flying out tonight, right? 9:00pm wow. You saw the geese in the paper yesterday? Congregating.

[Chad Zumock]

Yeah.

[Kristi Lee]

They've never seen 50, 000 geeks by geese by one airplane. They really fly. They mostly hover.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, but they're only hanging around that one terminal. Legion. You're not flying a legion, are you?

[Unknown Narrator/Singer]

I am.

[Bob Kevoian]

So the army has developed unmanned ground vehicles equipped with life size plastic coyotes known as coyote rovers.

[Chad Zumock]

Okay.

[Kristi Lee]

These robotics, great idea.

[Bob Kevoian]

Decoys.

[Chad Zumock]

Who came up with this idea and.

[Bob Kevoian]

Who had to sell it, are designed to roam military airfields and scare away birds and animals that can endanger aircraft during takeoff and landing.

[Tom Griswold]

It sounds like something Wile E. Would come up with. There are seven of me.

[Chad Zumock]

Made by the Acme Company.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, here's what they are.

[Kristi Lee]

They look like little tiny four by fours.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Bob Kevoian]

With plastic coyotes.

[Tom Griswold]

They're essentially those plastic coyotes you'll see on lawnmowers.

[Kristi Lee]

But. Yeah, but they drive them around. And this is a great idea because think about it. I mean, the whole thing with Captain Sullivan, whatever it was, he could have.

[Tom Griswold]

Avoided those birds, but he chose to drive.

[Chad Zumock]

Wait a minute. What are you talking about? A coyote on a lawnmower?

[Tom Griswold]

That's what that looks like.

[Bob Kevoian]

Oh, yeah. He's saying it does look like the.

[Chad Zumock]

Bottom part looks like a lawnmower.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chad Zumock]

Oh, okay. I thought you said there was a lawnmower that existed.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, no, that'd be awesome.

[Pat Godwin]

Do apartment complexes put fake colors? This isn't a joke.

[Chad Zumock]

Yes.

[Pat Godwin]

Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

Coyotes.

[Pat Godwin]

I saw when I went.

[Chad Zumock]

What the.

[Pat Godwin]

When I was driving.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Okay, so they don't. So the geese don't crap all over the park.

[Bob Kevoian]

Coyotes, fake owls on docks. You've seen those?

[Kristi Lee]

I just saw there's a fake coyote in front of a children's playground.

[Tom Griswold]

That's.

[Pat Godwin]

Yeah.

[Kristi Lee]

Not more than a mile from around here.

[Tom Griswold]

It's for geese. Poop.

[Bob Kevoian]

Right.

[Kristi Lee]

Okay. But that's a great idea though.

[Tom Griswold]

Although you would think that the geese would see the fake coyote and crap all over the place.

[Kristi Lee]

But I mean this is. I think every airport should do this. Get rid of the birds. Right. It's not the whole idea. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Why not? I mean, that's cheap. That looks like a fairly inexpensive.

[Bob Kevoian]

Do you have like a remote control that they run those or do they.

[Kristi Lee]

They probably program them with a. I would assume they use some kind of global positioning thing and just. They type it in and here's where it goes.

[Tom Griswold]

Like Roombas.

[Kristi Lee]

Yeah, but if that'll keep the birds from flying in the engine stop saying.

[Tom Griswold]

Go for it, they'll be fine.

[Bob Kevoian]

Federal officials say a man's been caught.

[Kristi Lee]

If you're not. Let's see now. How many. Which guitars you taking?

[Pat Godwin]

I'm taking my Taylor.

[Bob Kevoian]

Your little baby Taylor.

[Kristi Lee]

If you don't make it, I'm going to take the rest up. Okay, back to you, Christy.

[Bob Kevoian]

The feds say a man's been charged with hiding 14 Toucans under his Volkswagen dashboard.

[Kristi Lee]

How many?

[Chad Zumock]

14.

[Bob Kevoian]

The US Customs and Border Protection said the driver of the Volkswagen Passat said he had nothing to declare at the Ote Mesa U.S. mexico border crossing in San Diego.

[Kristi Lee]

How often do those guys get the Eddie Murphy impression? Places named Otay.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh yeah, they must.

[Kristi Lee]

Every day. We know. Okay.

[Bob Kevoian]

However, a narcotics in human detection dog alerted to the steering wheel which had been covered with duct tape and cloth. The New York Times reports that stashed beneath the cloth agents found 14 live keel build toucans.

[Tom Griswold]

Weird.

[Bob Kevoian]

The 35 year old reported. Yeah, how do you do that? Told authorities he was not aware of how Toucans got into his car.

[Kristi Lee]

Yeah, well, yeah, sure. Oh, how'd that happen?

[Chad Zumock]

I. I rented this car. I don't know the guy before me, I guess.

[Bob Kevoian]

He was taken into custody on charges of smuggling and illegal importation.

[Chad Zumock]

You got the wrong gu.

[Bob Kevoian]

The Toucans are a threatened species of bird that is illegal to bring into the United States and can sell for up to $5,000 each.

[Kristi Lee]

That's some serious cash there.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, follow your nose.

[Kristi Lee]

You know what they, you know what they eat?

[Tom Griswold]

Sure. Fruit loops. Yeah, of course.

[Chad Zumock]

Cereal.

[Kristi Lee]

And the dogs are trained to detect fruit loops. And they got them all right. That's a serious crime. I mean, but do they think I'd be smarter than to put duct tape over the dash? That kind of giving it away?

[Bob Kevoian]

It said dash? It sat here under the steering wheel.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, that area under the steering wheel. I see. Okay. Oh, I was picturing around the steering wheel.

[Bob Kevoian]

Me too. I was picturing birds all around the steering wheel. That's how it's written.

[Tom Griswold]

But that makes sense. There's room underneath.

[Chad Zumock]

What kind of a Mr. Magoo inspection?

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I made a sharp left and killed all the birds.

[Chad Zumock]

Would you have a toucan Tom? You seem like the kind of guy.

[Kristi Lee]

No, I. I don't.

[Chad Zumock]

Exotic bird.

[Kristi Lee]

I enjoy looking at them. I don't want to have to care for one.

[Tom Griswold]

They big beaks.

[Chad Zumock]

I bet they have a movement of a middle aged man.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I bet it looks like rice pudding.

[Chad Zumock]

Yep, yep. All over the place.

[Bob Kevoian]

In Texas they intercepted 20 undeclared parrots. U. S. Customs agents at the Hidalgo port of entry encountered a 22 year old woman.

[Tom Griswold]

He's a good horse.

[Bob Kevoian]

And referred her for further inspection.

[Chad Zumock]

Vehicle.

[Bob Kevoian]

The authorities discovered the parrots hidden in a bag inside her vehicle. She was arrested. The birds were seized.

[Tom Griswold]

Polly would like some air.

[Bob Kevoian]

They are protecting here.

[Chad Zumock]

I named that parrot Dennis Miller.

[Kristi Lee]

How many?

[Bob Kevoian]

Forget your 20 parrots, cracker.

[Tom Griswold]

A little oxygen would be good.

[Chad Zumock]

You know, like Gilligan would get.

[Tom Griswold]

Let me out of the bag.

[Kristi Lee]

Did the parrots turn around right here?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, we're not done. A Sri lankan man arrested at the airport in Thailand after he was caught with three ball pythons in his underwear.

[Chad Zumock]

Well, they are smuggling.

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, right. Received intelligence that a wildlife smuggling suspect identified only as Mr. Sheehan had arrived in the country on a Thai airways flight.

[Chad Zumock]

Are you Mr. She?

[Bob Kevoian]

Officials monitored his movements and when Mr. Sheehan returned to the air airborne the following day, he was subjected to a body search which revealed three ball pythons concealed in his underwear.

[Kristi Lee]

You're making a movie out of it. Snakes on a wang. How? Wouldn't they literally squeeze your balls off?

[Chad Zumock]

Well, I think they're.

[Bob Kevoian]

They're in a bag under something, aren't they?

[Chad Zumock]

Like baby pythons?

[Bob Kevoian]

Yeah, the little ball pythons are. Well, you had one?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes. Yeah, I bought one as a baby.

[Chad Zumock]

Did you really?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I added you were a baby.

[Pat Godwin]

And were able to buy a snake.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I didn't want to rattle. I wanted a rattlesnake.

[Chad Zumock]

Is that the way things are in Missouri? Babies can own snakes.

[Tom Griswold]

That's exactly right. In fact, you're encouraged.

[Kristi Lee]

This guy's name, by the way, these. I'm sorry, he had how many snakes in his underpants?

[Bob Kevoian]

Three.

[Kristi Lee]

Did you see? His name is Dick Medusa.

[Tom Griswold]

Dick Medusa.

[Kristi Lee]

What was that a Greek? Is that a Greek or a Roman or Greek?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, Gorgons. The famous Gorgon.

[Kristi Lee]

Yes. In this, he's four. Dick, they call it. For Dick Medusa turn to stone. Right? He's got the one. The eyes all the time.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I see. Yeah.

[Kristi Lee]

Then he had. He had the three.

[Chad Zumock]

Maybe Dick Medusa likes to turn to stone.

[Kristi Lee]

Yeah, yeah, there you go. Like yellow. Very good. Thank you very much, Christy. Extraordinarily enlightening.

[Christopher (Producer/Announcer)]

That's it for another Bob and Tom. Catch us on itunes. Google play and stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody.

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