B&T Extra: Comedian Jeff Bodart, cruise ship gigs, & Tattoos

Summary

Episode Summary: B&T Extra – Comedian Jeff Bodart, Cruise Ship Gigs, & Tattoos

Release Date: December 2, 2024
Host: The BOB & TOM Show | Cumulus Podcast Network
Episode: B&T Extra: Comedian Jeff Bodart, Cruise Ship Gigs, & Tattoos

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1. Introduction of Jeff Bodart

The episode kicks off with hosts Bob and Tom welcoming special guest, comedian Jeff Bryan Bodart, a long-time contributor to The BOB & TOM Show. Jeff shares his journey from quitting his regular job to pursue comedy full-time, highlighting the risks and rewards of making such a significant career change.

Jeff Bodart [01:40]: “I quit my job to have a shot at this show. And it turned out well and all right.”

2. Jeff’s Career and Cruise Ship Gigs

Jeff delves into his current venture performing on cruise ships, particularly with Royal Caribbean. He discusses the unique environment of cruise ship entertainment, including the frequency of his performances—typically two to three shows a week—and the extended periods spent onboard, ranging from one to three weeks.

Jeff Bodart [03:32]: “Sometimes three weeks. Wow. And so there's a lot of downtime.”

3. Life on the Cruise: Schedule and Activities

During downtime, Jeff engages in various activities to keep himself entertained. He mentions drawing as a hobby, though he has given up gambling due to inconsistent wins.

Jeff Bodart [03:36]: “I was gambling, so I gave that up. Turns out you don’t win every time.”

4. People-Watching and Anecdotes

Jeff shares humorous observations from his time on cruise ships, particularly people-watching. He recounts interactions with fellow passengers, including amusing encounters at elevators and the pool area, where he humorously critiques passengers' attire choices.

Jeff Bodart [04:00]: “People should wear a quilt, a swimming quilt. Oh, my God. Yeah. A little shame is okay.”

5. Tattoos: Meaning and Stories

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around Jeff’s tattoos. He showcases his upper arm tattoos, including multiple depictions of Elvis Presley and symbols from Harry Potter's Deathly Hallows. Jeff explains the personal significance behind each tattoo and the stories associated with them, providing listeners with an intimate look into his life and inspirations.

Jeff Bodart [07:06]: “I got another CB with the lightning. And then I got this right here. It’s from the Deathly Hallows.”

6. Interactions with Cruise Passengers

Jeff discusses the unique position of performing on a cruise ship, where he often shares meals with passengers. This setup sometimes forces him into impromptu conversations, allowing him to offer travel advice and engage directly with the audience beyond the stage.

Jeff Bodart [11:14]: “Sometimes you're forced to sit with them because if you go to the main dining, they set you at a community table.”

7. Humor and Host Banter

The episode is peppered with the trademark humor of Bob, Tom, and their crew. Topics range from the quirks of cruise life to light-hearted jokes about pubic hair, adding a layer of comedic relief and camaraderie among the hosts and guest.

Bob [16:50]: “I think my eyebrows are the same color as my pubic hair.”

8. Conclusion

As the episode wraps up, hosts and Jeff reflect on the joys and challenges of performing on cruise ships, the importance of maintaining a sense of humor, and the personal satisfaction Jeff derives from his tattoos and interactions with diverse audiences.

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Notable Quotes:

• Tom [02:00]: “Are you a single man? Is that correct?”

• Jeff Bodart [05:18]: “I make my own for me.” (Referring to his tattoo)

• Bob [16:54]: “If it happens, I will tell you.”

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This episode offers a comprehensive look into Jeff Bodart's life as a comedian, his experiences entertaining on cruise ships, and the personal stories behind his tattoos. Through engaging conversations and humorous anecdotes, listeners gain insight into the world of cruise ship entertainment and the vibrant personality of Jeff Bodart.

Transcript

[Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Well, with the Name youe Price Tool from Progressive, you can find options that fit your budget and potentially lower your bills. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.

[Christopher]

Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom Extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon. We'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything on the big show today. Comedian Jeff Bodart. Plus cruise ship gigs and tattoos. You'll hear that coming up right after this.

[Announcer]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Christopher]

Missed something. Here you go. We'll try to catch you up. This is Bob and Tom. Extra.

[Bob]

And Tom. We have a special guest.

[Tom]

That's right. Joining us in the studio. It is comedian Jeff Bryan Bodart. Mr. Bodart started his career on this show many years ago.

[Bob]

Quit his job to come on the show.

[Tom]

You quit your job to have a shot at this show.

[Jeff Bodart]

All right. Yeah. And it turned out well and all right.

[Tom]

You're currently out there in the world doing a lot of. You're a. You're a free man.

[Jeff Bodart]

You're not a free man.

[Tom]

You're not tied to that evil boss of yours.

[Christopher]

No.

[Jeff Bodart]

No.

[Tom]

You're out there in the cruise ships.

[Jeff Bodart]

Doing a ton of cruise ships.

[Tom]

Now, are you. Are you a single man? Is that correct?

[Jeff Bodart]

I'm a single. I got my eye on a lady. Hopefully she doesn't look that I'm. That I'm looking at her, but no, you know, I could keep my eye on a few women.

[Tom]

Did you. Do you.

[Pat]

Do they look back?

[Jeff Bodart]

No. No.

[Tom]

Do you have romantic encounters with these ladies on the ships?

[Jeff Bodart]

Oh, no, that's in the contract. We're not allowed to mingle.

[Bob]

Well, that, that only makes it dirty.

[Tom]

Pat. You spent a lot of time doing those cruise ships. Is that's the case on all of them?

[Chick McGee]

Not at all. In Royal Caribbean, you're allowed a little more leeway.

[Jeff Bodart]

That's the one I do. And I would like to know that rule.

[Bob]

But you have to keep one foot on the floor, right?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's the. Pretty much.

[Tom]

Wow. When you go into port. Can you go into town and.

[Jeff Bodart]

Yeah, you can go into port and meet a lady there.

[Pat]

Oh, you have a. Every port?

[Jeff Bodart]

Oh, God, yeah.

[Tom]

Now, what are the ones in port? Charge? How does that work?

[Jeff Bodart]

You walk in with 100, you are a rich man, right? No, I don't know. I don't mingle around. But I do love the ships, though. And I don't want to say the last ship was on was full of nothing but old people. But whoever was selling oxygen tanks was making a killing.

[Christopher]

See there.

[Bob]

Old people.

[Jeff Bodart]

There was one guy so old, he looked at the ocean and said, I remember when this was all farmland.

[Tom]

It's an old man you see. Now, how many. When you're on one of these cruise ships, typically, how long are you on board?

[Jeff Bodart]

Are you on board for a week, two weeks? Sometimes three. Wow.

[Tom]

How many shows do you have to do?

[Jeff Bodart]

Upwards of two a week. Two, three a week, maybe. Wow. Yeah. And so there's a lot of downtime. What do you do? Oh, I draw a lot. I. I was. I was gambling, so I gave that up.

[Tom]

All right, wait a minute. So you mean in the long run, you were not winning?

[Jeff Bodart]

No, no, no. That's the thing is I was winning and I got too used to it. Oh, okay. And I was like, oh, I'm going to win every time. It turns out you don't win every. No, no, you don't. You sure do. No, but I do. A lot of people watching. That's always fun. You wait for people at the elevator. I don't know. This is just. I don't know what it is. People don't know how to get on and on off elevators. It's always some old troll of a woman who's like, I just wants to cram her way through. And everybody's trying to get off. I'm like, I survived the Depression. Well, you know what? Just like the breadlines, you gotta wait your turn. Okay. It's just people watching is always the best thing. I was like, the best place to do that is a pool. That's the best place. You know, because. I don't know. People should. I'm. I'm all for body positivity, but some people should wear a quilt, a swimming quilt. Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, a little shame is okay, you know, A little shame's fine.

[Chick McGee]

Sure, sure.

[Jeff Bodart]

You should be a little embarrassed. I've seen a lot of terrible tattoos, a lot of calf tattoos. But I saw. I saw a guy out there in his 60s out there in the. Fine. You Know, bald, fine. Ponytail, hilarious. He had a nipple ring. And I was like, oh, I wonder what kind of cars he sells. But I thought maybe if I pulled that nipple ring, there'd be a string attached. And he would say something fun, you know, like, there's a snake in my boot. Something.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know.

[Jeff Bodart]

But turns out there was no string attached. But he did say something, and turns out he's German, and you have been cursed at until you've been cursed at in German. Son of a. Calm down there, Adolf. But I. And you don't have to be offended because that name died out a long time ago in Argentina. But it's just. It's. It's. People are just, you know, ridiculous out there. You know, I like to tell people, by the way, I was. I was told by a cruise director not too long ago, could you stop making fun of the kids so much? And I was like, well, they deserve it. Cause I would usually open the show and I'd go, you know, this is a family friendly comedy show. Clean comedy. Because kids ruin everything. Usually I look at a kid in the crowd, I go, this is your fault. I was talking to one kid one day and on. On the. On a show. And I go, hey, how you doing? Am I. What Are these your parents? And then he. He said, yes. And then I heard this other voice. Yes, those are our parents. And I go, ugh. I look over and I go, what are you. What's your name? Molly. And. And she told me Winter. And I go, okay. And she's about 14, winter. And I go, that's. That's nice. What month were you born? And she goes, september. And I go, see, they didn't have your. They didn't have the forethought to name you. I don't know, Autumn, maybe fall.

[Tom]

I don't know.

[Jeff Bodart]

What's your middle name? She goes, rose. And I go, oh, Winter. Rose, Winter. I go, it's nice, but it sounds like a dollar store perfume. And it turns out that is maybe too mean, but it does.

[Tom]

You're absolutely right. Our guest is comedian Jeff Bodhar. And we'll talk to Jeff, see what's going on in his life. Remaining single. And hold your arm up again, please. Other one. Are those tattoos?

[Bob]

Oh, yeah, he's got a new tattoo. Yeah, there you go.

[Tom]

Oh, dear.

[Jeff Bodart]

I got.

[Tom]

Wait a minute.

[Jeff Bodart]

Wait.

[Tom]

No, it's. It's the upper arm. Is that Elvis?

[Jeff Bodart]

Yeah, that's Elvis right there. I got touched up recently. Add a little blue. That one's. That one's New to you guys right there.

[Tom]

I can't see it.

[Bob]

You're too far away.

[Jeff Bodart]

No, it's another Elvis. That's another Elvis.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, okay.

[Jeff Bodart]

And then I got another CB with the lightning.

[Tom]

Oh, the Elvis. Taking care of business. Oh, okay. What's the other arm? What do you got over the other arm?

[Jeff Bodart]

On the other arm? I got. I got. Try harder.

[Bob]

Try harder.

[Jeff Bodart]

You know, just the words.

[Tom]

Try harder.

[Jeff Bodart]

Yeah, just a little reminder. Hey, try harder.

[Pat]

Is that anybody's handwriting?

[Jeff Bodart]

Is that specific? Yeah, no, I just used an app on my phone.

[Tom]

What's on your wrist there?

[Jeff Bodart]

And then I got. Oh, a little anchor, you know, because hope anchors the soul.

[Pat]

Oh, all right, all right.

[Jeff Bodart]

And I got.

[Tom]

Is that a phrase I should know?

[Jeff Bodart]

No, I don't.

[Pat]

I never heard it before.

[Jeff Bodart]

I don't know.

[Pat]

It's nice.

[Bob]

No, I can't. I can't see you knowing any positive thoughts. You know, doomsday is coming.

[Pat]

I thought.

[Bob]

Right.

[Pat]

He's right. I thought maybe that was for your cruise ships.

[Jeff Bodart]

The answer, Dean and Jerry. Oh, I got. Yeah, I got Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis over there, which I'm. I think I might get another. I found a Dean drawing that I like.

[Tom]

Oh, and then. Do you have any elsewhere?

[Jeff Bodart]

No, I mean, I got the. I got that.

[Tom]

Oh, wait a minute.

[Jeff Bodart]

Hang on.

[Tom]

What's that thing?

[Jeff Bodart]

It's a magic wand. And then I got this right here. It's from the Deathly Hallows, from Harry Potter. Oh, and then that one is where a woman pissed me off. So what does it say? That one says, I make my own future. And Osukay says, that looks like I make my own furniture.

[Tom]

Well, you know what?

[Bob]

You know what? Osu's a troublemaker.

[Jeff Bodart]

Yeah, he is a troublemaker. I mean, he's not wrong.

[Tom]

That'd be a great tattoo.

[Jeff Bodart]

I make my own for me.

[Pat]

Are you still making the wands?

[Jeff Bodart]

No, I don't have time. I'm too busy. I'm on the water too much.

[Pat]

You can't make wands.

[Jeff Bodart]

You only have two shows.

[Bob]

Seems like you'd have a lot of time to make wands.

[Jeff Bodart]

Yeah, Nobody wants to walk into a room that's full of just sanding, you know, just a lot of.

[Tom]

Made the famous Turbo Tar Tar. Turbo Turbo Wands. No, I bought a couple.

[Jeff Bodart]

Yeah, you did.

[Bob]

Your daughters loved those wands.

[Tom]

I bought them. Yeah, the turbo.

[Chick McGee]

The Turbo.

[Jeff Bodart]

I even have people still waiting for him. I was like, well, you know, I don't have time.

[Tom]

But how do you not. I would think.

[Pat]

Didn't you.

[Bob]

Didn't they take a wand and turn a goldfish into a cat? Yeah, that's what I thought.

[Tom]

How would you not be in a boat like that for three weeks and not just jump off?

[Jeff Bodart]

Well, there's just. There's just a lot of food.

[Pat]

Are you a lot allowed to do a lot of things? Are you allowed to go to the gym and the pool and all that? Oh, okay.

[Jeff Bodart]

I walk by the gym a lot. That's good.

[Bob]

Don't you have WI fi and everything?

[Jeff Bodart]

Oh, we got WI fi. Sometimes it works and everything. It's great. You buy the Internet package. And I actually signed up for the Intermittent package. She started a movie night one. And I think by the time I got home, I was ready to watch, so it was all buffered up. So.

[Tom]

I guess it'd be good if you could. You could read a lot, I guess, on the.

[Jeff Bodart]

I don't like to read. That's too much work. That's a lot of words, that is. I recently bought a new house, and I gotta tell you, my realtor sent me all these papers. And I go, I don't know, man. That's a lot of words. I don't know if I'm gonna read all this. So I just signed it, and I'm like. I don't know what that means. So I just. I don't know. I fell asleep. I fall asleep when I read. So, Yeah, I can do everything on the. On the ships I want. So.

[Pat]

Okay. Well, I didn't know if you had to be, you know, in the crew area. You weren't allowed up on the main decks or anything.

[Jeff Bodart]

Yeah, I can go anywhere I want. And I'm even allowed to go in the crew area sometimes. Oh, they. They called. I think they call the. The little general store that the crew go, like the slop. Slop house or slop something. I can't remember what it's called. Go in there and get, you know, sort of grocery items or something.

[Bob]

Oh, there you go.

[Tom]

Do you get to eat with the passengers?

[Jeff Bodart]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Bob]

Well, Christie just got back from an endless buffet.

[Jeff Bodart]

Right.

[Pat]

Well, this particular cruise only had a buffet at breakfast and lunch, and then dinner was seated, you know, like a nice.

[Tom]

So do you sit with passengers?

[Jeff Bodart]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom]

Do they know who you are since they saw the show?

[Jeff Bodart]

Yeah. Sometimes you're forced to sit with them because if you go to the main dining, they set you at a community table. Oh, it's a comedian.

[Bob]

And how does that go?

[Jeff Bodart]

Yeah, you know, it's a lot of me going, all right in Person heckling, Right? Yeah.

[Tom]

Do you give them advice on, hey, we're going to whatever Cancun. I'd recommend this.

[Jeff Bodart]

Yeah. Sometimes. Yeah.

[Tom]

I go, are you becoming an expert on all these Caribbean ports?

[Jeff Bodart]

I am. I go, hey, there's. Go to St. Martin. There's a guy. If you like cigars, there's a guy there. If you want to buy some cigars at St. Martin, how about the reefer?

[Tom]

Do you know any of the places.

[Jeff Bodart]

You know, you get offered a lot of green? They call, yeah, you want some green?

[Tom]

Like.

[Jeff Bodart]

No, I'm good. I don't. I know some people that. You smell it on the. On the pool decks quite a bit also.

[Chick McGee]

It's legal on some of them.

[Jeff Bodart]

No, it's not. Oh. But people. I don't know how they get it on. I don't know how they get it. They get in. It's in vapes and stuff, so. But I do. I just love people watching. And that's the best thing, you know, because there was a. Towards the end of the cruise, there was a guy walking around with a poncho. I'm like, well, that's a guy. Clearly ran out of clean clothes to wear. Nobody wants to wear a poncho. No, they have to wear a poncho. Right. That's a guy. I didn't want to admit was his wife was right when packing, because women pack for what ifs. I know that's a generalization. I'm sorry, but women pack. What if we go somewhere nice? Or what if I get something on my top? Or what if I pee my pants? I'll cut three kids. There's a lot of that. True. Yeah. Men pack for what nows. You'll never surprise a guy with a destination. What now? No, I'll just wear this. This is fine. It's always the same, you know. Oh, no, that's fine. And when women pack, I've learned that women pack, they get to the top of the suitcase and they think, you know what? I have another suitcase in the closet. And when guys pack, they get to the top of the suitcase. Like, I'm done. I don't have anything. I don't have a room. I mean, if it were up to guys, I think we would just pack a pillowcase and tie it to the end of a stick and walk around with a bindle through the airport. Oh, look at that. That hobo can afford a flight. That's fantastic.

[Tom]

We're talking with Jeff Bodart. Thank you very much.

[Chick McGee]

On any of these cruise ships, have you ever dined with the captain?

[Jeff Bodart]

You know? No, but I had a joke about the captain because I gotta tell you, they're kind of annoying.

[Tom]

Oh, really?

[Jeff Bodart]

Because they come on during the day, we're going 25 knots. Who cares? Nobody. We can look up the weather. But then they. One, one night, there was three in the morning and they had an alpha, alpha, alpha, you know, which means somebody was medical problem. Oh, they were flying somebody off of the ship. Like three in the morning. I was up, naturally. But they go, you know. You know, I know. I just want to let you know, I'm sorry to wake you up, but there will be a helicopter landing. And please do. I know how you people like to take pictures. So do not take pictures of. Now you're. Now they're going to take pictures of the helicopter in their head now it's like. And it just kept going on and on. And I was going to talk about that on the show the next day. And the cruise director's like, ah, I wouldn't do that. He's gonna be here. Oh. I was like, all right, fine. Oh, yeah, it's fine.

[Tom]

Did you get a good picture of the helicopter land?

[Jeff Bodart]

I couldn't find it.

[Tom]

Okay, right now we have to get back to the sports page. That's not just any sports desk. Jeff Boda. That is the dude wipes sports desk. Excuse me. Featuring Chick McGee, an artist in China.

[Bob]

Has set the Guinness world record for the longest str. Of paper cut from one sheet of paper.

[Jeff Bodart]

This is amazing.

[Chick McGee]

Amazing, Josh.

[Tom]

It's a. The guy takes like an eight by ten.

[Chick McGee]

Yes.

[Tom]

Of paper. There's regular office size.

[Pat]

Eight and a half by eleven.

[Chick McGee]

Okay, whatever it is.

[Tom]

Eight. Whatever.

[Pat]

Yeah.

[Tom]

And then a pair of scissors.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom]

And without breaking the paper, cuts it into a piece of paper to like a little thing the length of a football field.

[Pat]

What?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I wonder how the hell he did that.

[Bob]

Pei Ho zheng cut an 8 1/2 by 11 sheet of paper into a single strip that measured 354ft, 9 inches long.

[Chick McGee]

Whoa.

[Bob]

Earning him the title.

[Chick McGee]

All right.

[Bob]

The strip he created was just 0.5 millimeters wide and ultimately became an art piece. He titled it, Josh, you'll like this. Between chaos and order.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that's just stupid, but.

[Jeff Bodart]

Oh, there it is.

[Tom]

So it looks like someone. It's gone through a shredder.

[Pat]

Looks like somebody's hair.

[Tom]

But it's one piece of paper.

[Chick McGee]

It looks like white hair that's been put into the shape of a brain. A profile of a brain.

[Bob]

Yeah, it kind of Looks like pubic hair.

[Chick McGee]

It kind of does, yeah. Tom, does that look familiar to you at all?

[Tom]

No, Mine is thicker.

[Bob]

Is that right?

[Tom]

Oh, that is. That is wispy. That would be very old pubic hair.

[Chick McGee]

What a. Just an awful waste of time.

[Bob]

You were well into adulthood before you got pubic hair, though, correct?

[Tom]

That's correct.

[Pat]

That's why he saves all of them.

[Jeff Bodart]

I might regret asking this question, but is there blonde pubic hair?

[Pat]

Oh, yeah.

[Jeff Bodart]

Really?

[Pat]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Chick McGee]

I've seen it on women. I have not. Yes, well, I was gonna say I've not seen it on guys.

[Tom]

No, no.

[Bob]

You're among friends. Yeah, there's. There's blonde.

[Jeff Bodart]

I've never seen it.

[Tom]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob]

Red, ginger.

[Pat]

You have blonde pubic hair at one time. It got darker as I got older, but yes.

[Bob]

Oh, there you go.

[Chick McGee]

How does that happen?

[Pat]

I think when you have babies, Pat, things change hormonally in your body.

[Bob]

I think my eyebrows are the same color as my pubic hair.

[Pat]

That might be.

[Bob]

I think that's. That's the deal. I don't have gray pubic hair yet. I keep waiting, but it hasn't.

[Tom]

It will make you. It'll make you, once again, have a very distinct penis. Gray in the sides.

[Bob]

If it happens, I will tell you.

[Jeff Bodart]

Part in the middle on the side.

[Pat]

Is that true for everybody? Your eyebrows match your eye?

[Tom]

I'm pretty sure. No. Pat, you have very dark eyebrows.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, I have dark pubes too.

[Bob]

There you go. See?

[Tom]

Oh, can you bring some in tomorrow?

[Jeff Bodart]

I have them with you right now. Okay.

[Bob]

Pair of brothers.

[Tom]

I'm not done with this longest strip of paper.

[Pat]

Okay.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, because we all hated it.

[Jeff Bodart]

Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

We were moving on.

[Bob]

We wanted to make.

[Christopher]

That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google Play, and Stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody.

[Announcer]

Named one of the best personal finance podcasts, the Stacking Benjamin show with Joe and his friends makes financial literacy fun.

[Tom]

Draymond Green has a podcast. He was asking Mark Cuban why, at the beginning of 2024, Cuban sold a huge part of his company.

[Jeff Bodart]

He's like, did you see how much money I got? I'm sure there's a more graceful answer than that, but, dude, I bought. Bought it for 200 million and sold it for 6 billion.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think it was that much more graceful than that.

[Announcer]

Find out more by searching the Stacking Benjamins podcast wherever you listen.