Jessica Hooker (3:33)

I ain't.

Frosty (Character in song) (3:33)

Scared of nothing Got ice in my veins but when the sun come up a molar Drip, drip, drip, drip down the drain. Oh, you see that puddle? Hey, what a bummer Too bad old Frosty can't make it through summer so please, Mr. Santa don't you be a teaser All I want for Christmas is a great big freezer Keep me frosty I'm full of sleet the temperature drops, I head to the beach but there's just one thing that's such a pain that's when the sun come up I'm on the drip, drip, drip, drip down the drain yeah, I'm frosty, I'm full of hail But I ain't no myth, I'm no fairy tale I ain't scared of nothing I got ice in my veins and when the sun come up I'm gonna drip, drip, drip Dr.

Bob Kevoian (5:23)

Yeah, we know it's a repeat, but things are always better the second time around. This is Bob and Tom.

Tom Griswold (5:29)

Extra handsome man just walked in.

Willie (5:32)

Good looking guy.

Tom Griswold (5:33)

Mark Chalafou. Hello, Mark. Good to see you again.

Bob Kevoian (5:37)

Yeah, it's great to be back.

Tom Griswold (5:39)

Mark is on his way to Goshen, Indiana, where he will be entertaining the Amish.

Willie (5:45)

He's using someone's voice and I can't place it, but I will, by gosh.

Bob Kevoian (5:48)

Okay, you'll figure it out eventually.

Willie (5:50)

I will.

Bob Kevoian (5:50)

It's like a big.

Willie (5:51)

Clear it out eventually.

Tom Griswold (5:52)

Okay, now I gotta.

Willie (5:53)

Yeah.

Tom Griswold (5:54)

Can you count to 10 so I can figure out?

Bob Kevoian (5:56)

Yeah, just go through it all. Yeah, sure.

Willie (5:58)

And A, B, C, D, I.

Tom Griswold (6:00)

You're right, it'll come to me.

Willie (6:02)

Timber. Kind of an alto, but no.

Tom Griswold (6:05)

Mark. Good to see you, sir. I can't see. Is that a sporting team hat you have on? I can't tell.

Bob Kevoian (6:10)

It's a comedy club hat. A lot of comedians, you wear the free merch, but you can tell.

Willie (6:15)

No, you can tell that Tom's a big sports fan because he uses the term like sporting team hat.

Bob Kevoian (6:21)

The sports club. You're supporting the sports club out there.

Willie (6:24)

That is, my friend, a sporting team hat.

Christopher (6:27)

The.

Tom Griswold (6:27)

The. The logo that represents a sporting team. For example, Willie has on a really cool Indianapolis Colts cap.

Willie (6:34)

Yes, the. The off clue. The the light blue, the powder blue.

Mark Shalafou (6:38)

I appreciate the compliment. I like this, man. The Charger blue a little bit since I got this. Colts are great. This is the Daniel Jones era.

Willie (6:43)

There you go, Willy.

Mark Shalafou (6:44)

Light blue hat era.

Pat (6:45)

I like that.

Tom Griswold (6:46)

Yeah. Can you put on. You better put on a Pacer hat. Yikes.

Mark Shalafou (6:49)

I don't want. Why would you bring that up in.

Willie (6:51)

Front of me right now?

Mark Shalafou (6:51)

We're having so much fun talking about the Colts.

Tom Griswold (6:53)

Okay, sorry.

Bob Kevoian (6:54)

We're talking about the power of your hats. You can throw a Washington general's hat on and all of a sudden they'd be Globetrotters every day.

Tom Griswold (7:00)

Throw everything off. I love that song. The power of hats. Well, since you're going to be wearing some free merch, we'll give you one of those beautiful Bob and Tom show sweatshirts behind you.

Willie (7:11)

Yep. 29.95.

Tom Griswold (7:14)

Mark Shalafou, are you a sports fan?

Bob Kevoian (7:16)

I am a big sports guy and I've become more of a sports fan since coaching my kids in youth sports. That's been an adventure because you learn right away how good your team is going to be just based on what name they pick. Like our Tigers, they were undefeated this season. The mint chocolate chip ice cream. They were not. They had a rough season for the mint chocolate chip ice cream. I do. What's fun about coaching, too, is, like, I remember when I was a kid, all of our coaches would just hit us with, like, the empty cliches about, like, oh, it's all about the name on the front of the jersey, not the name on the back of the jersey. Our team name wasn't on the front of our jersey.

Tom Griswold (7:54)

It was just the logo of the.

Bob Kevoian (7:55)

Company that sponsored our jerseys. And it was the county liquor store for us. So that's a weird rallying cry for seven year olds to get behind o' Brien's wine.

Tom Griswold (8:05)

Have you ever been.

Willie (8:07)

Let's go, winos.

Tom Griswold (8:09)

In all truth, have you ever been to Graceland?

Bob Kevoian (8:11)

I have not.

Tom Griswold (8:11)

In Memphis. Oh, it's. You've been to Grace? Yeah, a couple times. I love it. Yeah. Ms. Hooker, you've been to Graceland.

Jessica Hooker (8:15)

I have not.

Tom Griswold (8:16)

Oh, it's. It's a great tour. Of course.

Jessica Hooker (8:18)

Okay.

Tom Griswold (8:19)

It ends kind of sad because you got Elvis and family buried in the back like a pet dog, but yeah. I'm not joking when I say this, and I can get backed up on this. Have you been there?

Jessica Hooker (8:28)

Checking.

Willie (8:29)

I've not been to Graceland. No.

Tom Griswold (8:31)

Elvis, I have no desire. Elvis was a really good guy. I mean, he. He. He would buy Cars for. He just was this really generous soul. Certainly had his ups and downs. But he sponsored a bunch of Little league teams. And so, you know, they've. And they've got the pictures of them, you know, the so and so, the Elvis team.

Bob Kevoian (8:49)

That's cool.

Tom Griswold (8:50)

But it would have been really cool, I thought, if they'd had their, like, baseball uniforms with a really high collar. Oh, man.

Mark Shalafou (8:55)

Their baseball helmets.

Pat (8:56)

They call your team the Burning Loves.

Willie (8:58)

And they do that.

Mark Shalafou (8:59)

Like the Elvis hair.

Tom Griswold (9:01)

Yeah. Maybe those glasses with the. Remember the. With the. The holes drill in the side.

Jessica Hooker (9:05)

Yes.

Tom Griswold (9:06)

Thank you very much.

Bob Kevoian (9:06)

Yeah, it's not gonna be fun sliding in a third base with studs all over your jerseys.

Tom Griswold (9:11)

You have to wonder if you ever came to one of the games.

Bob Kevoian (9:14)

Oh, that'd be great. Tried to go incognito so nobody would recognize him with just some sunglasses.

Tom Griswold (9:19)

There are great stories about Elvis. My favorites. He was. He had badges from cops all over the. You know, police departments would give him badges, and Elvis quite literally would pull people over on the outskirts of Memphis in his Cadillac convertible. Can you imagine if you're just. You're driving into Memphis and you're going a little quick, you get pulled over by some guy, and then the King walks up to you.

Willie (9:41)

You know, why stop?

Tom Griswold (9:42)

Oh, man.

Bob Kevoian (9:43)

You know.

Tom Griswold (9:43)

Yeah. Oh, man.

Willie (9:44)

A license of registration.

Tom Griswold (9:47)

And of course, famously, he got the. He got that badge from Richard Nixon.

Jessica Hooker (9:53)

Oh, yeah.

Tom Griswold (9:54)

And that's the most. By the way, the most popular thing at the Nixon Museum is the postcard of Elvis and the.

Jessica Hooker (9:59)

That picture.

Tom Griswold (9:59)

Richard Nixon.

Jessica Hooker (10:00)

Yeah.

Tom Griswold (10:00)

And that, by the way, if you've ever read about that event, they didn't know that was going to happen. Elvis just showed up and Nixon was in his office and some guy ringing.

Jessica Hooker (10:09)

So weird.

Tom Griswold (10:09)

Elvis is outside and they brought him in. It's. It's a classic. But we're talking with comedian Mark Shalafu. And now. How many kids you have?

Bob Kevoian (10:19)

I've got three kids. And, yeah, that's a real fun journey because the first kid is obviously, you're way locked into that, and that's exciting. And then you get to that third kid, and the milestones are not quite as fun anymore.

Tom Griswold (10:32)

Careful. Well, because. No, I'm just telling you right now, you're looking at kid number three right there.

Bob Kevoian (10:36)

So I'm sure you can relate to the fact that, you know, the parents don't care as much about some of the milestones.

Willie (10:42)

Hey, where's Willy? I think we left him in the pantry. I'm not sure.

Mark Shalafou (10:45)

It's kind of weird because he has seven. And you're not going to have this issue because you seem like a respectable guy. It's kind of. It's like one, you care and then two, you less, and then three less, and then now it bounces back up and now 6 and 7, they're getting love out of this world. Nobody even knows about this kind of thing.

Bob Kevoian (11:02)

Yeah, you're just at the wrong end of that curve. Then that's what's really hurt.

Mark Shalafou (11:06)

It's sort of a horseshoe situation.

Tom Griswold (11:07)

All right.

Pat (11:08)

You're deep in the valley of the curve.

Tom Griswold (11:10)

I'm pretty cool, man.

Kevin Harlan (11:11)

I'm hanging out.

Bob Kevoian (11:12)

I mean, I try and hide it with mine, but it's just like. You know, the first time I found out that we were going to have kids, my wife, it was a big dinner. She surprised me at that. The third time, it was a text message. That's how she told me. And she sent me a picture of a positive pregnancy test. And I remember staring at that, just thinking like, wow, I really hope she meant to send this to somebody else. But here we are with our third.

Tom Griswold (11:34)

Remember that commercial a couple years ago they were running? I. I haven't seen it lately. It was the pregnancy test thing. And they, you know, they cut to the positive test and they're really happy. You have to wonder if they thought about doing the other one.

Jessica Hooker (11:46)

The opposite. Yeah.

Tom Griswold (11:47)

You know, the guy is sweating bullets.

Bob Kevoian (11:50)

He gets his life back.

Willie (11:52)

Yeah.

Tom Griswold (11:52)

Yeah. By the way, things are great here. Sorry I had to move across the country.

Mark Shalafou (11:57)

When she said the photo of the pregnancy test, was she mad that you did the thumbs up reaction?

Bob Kevoian (12:01)

Yeah, just do that and then never acknowledge it again until nine months later.

Tom Griswold (12:06)

Do your kids have weird names or normal ones?

Bob Kevoian (12:09)

My kids have normal names. I did. You know, it was tough for us because, you know, the first one was born in New York City on Madison Avenue. We named her Madison.

Tom Griswold (12:17)

Oh, cool.

Bob Kevoian (12:18)

And then the second daughter, you know, was born at a hospital on Martin Luther King Boulevard in Cincinnati. So you can't really name your. Your daughter that. That would have been tricky.

Tom Griswold (12:27)

So little Dr. King.

Bob Kevoian (12:29)

Yeah, right. Little pale red head, like white skinned MLK Jr. Yeah. So we had to go with some real names for them.

Tom Griswold (12:38)

Would you mind if I ask what they were?

Bob Kevoian (12:40)

Yeah, we went with Madison, Emma, Chloe. By the time we got to the third, because it's all girls too, which is tricky. So we just kind of ran out of, like, good names to pull from. So we just went with a weird Kardashian and we got a Chloe So that's how it happens.

Tom Griswold (12:53)

Now, had any of them been boys? Did you have names picked out?

Bob Kevoian (12:57)

Oh, yeah. I had all sorts of names. I. I wanted all sorts of boys. I was gonna go John, maybe a little Mark Junior. Although you can never really pull that off anymore.

Tom Griswold (13:05)

I give you. Well, and that's always a trouble. And I always say, John Hinckley Jr. And then that. That ends that discussion. So you were going to go with the Junior.

Bob Kevoian (13:13)

I think that would have been fun. I don't know that my wife would have gone for that. You know, she probably wouldn't have pulled the trigger on that. But I could have gone with a Mark Jr. In the mix.

Willie (13:22)

What wasn't it at one point, moms would name daughters after them and they'd be a junior. Right?

Jessica Hooker (13:29)

I don't. I don't know.

Willie (13:30)

Did that ever become a thing?

Jessica Hooker (13:31)

I don't know.

Tom Griswold (13:32)

I. I think it's a lot rarer for a female child named after the mom.

Willie (13:37)

Jess and Jesse or something. Maybe for the kids.

Jessica Hooker (13:39)

Yeah, maybe.

Willie (13:40)

Yeah, maybe.

Jessica Hooker (13:41)

Yeah.

Bob Kevoian (13:41)

Well, I had to go straightforward, just more straightforward because my last name stinks. Like, shallow is not a fun last name for them to have. So they can't have a weird first name.

Tom Griswold (13:50)

Too like that.

Bob Kevoian (13:51)

Too much trouble.

Willie (13:52)

We've got to come up with some fake French that means shallow. Fu means I, like hog in the kitchen or something.

Bob Kevoian (13:58)

See, I wish it did. I did look up what it actually meant, and I was hoping it would be, like, warrior or something.

Willie (14:04)

Cool.

Tom Griswold (14:04)

What does it mean?

Bob Kevoian (14:05)

Bald man.

Tom Griswold (14:07)

Really?

Bob Kevoian (14:09)

That's fun.

Tom Griswold (14:09)

Wow.

Christopher (14:10)

Yeah.

Tom Griswold (14:10)

Are you bald?

Bob Kevoian (14:11)

Not yet.

Tom Griswold (14:12)

Okay.

Bob Kevoian (14:12)

Not even living up to my name. It's not great for my daughters.

Tom Griswold (14:16)

You could have gone with a rhyme. Like, I mean, I don't know, Boo Boo Shalafu or.

Bob Kevoian (14:23)

Yeah. If I wanted her to have a reality show.

Willie (14:26)

Here comes.

Tom Griswold (14:30)

I was just thinking you could call her Lucy Shalafu and. But you could call her Lulu so she'd be Lulu Shalafu.

Bob Kevoian (14:37)

Lulu Shalafu is fun.

Tom Griswold (14:38)

That's cool.

Bob Kevoian (14:39)

I don't love Lucy as much. That seems a little oldfashioned.

Willie (14:42)

That's my daughter's name.

Bob Kevoian (14:44)

That's your. Oh, wow. Okay.

Tom Griswold (14:46)

Wow. Well, thanks for coming by, Mark.

Bob Kevoian (14:47)

You really buffed that one. You can't get that. That's why you have to have seven kids. Then a few more cracks.

Willie (14:54)

He'll get it right.

Tom Griswold (14:57)

Joining us, the studio comedian mark Shalafu. Hey, Mr. Shalafu. Father of three. All preteens.

Bob Kevoian (15:05)

Yes.

Tom Griswold (15:05)

Young girls.

Bob Kevoian (15:06)

12, 10, and 5.

Tom Griswold (15:08)

All right.

Bob Kevoian (15:09)

Yeah. Those are fun ages. I mean, here's what I don't like though about those ages are the fact that they will tell their teachers just any family gossip, just without context. You know, I was teaching the five year old how to ride her bike and I was putting her helmet on her, pinch the skin under her neck. The next day she just went in and told her teacher, I hate it when my dad tries to snap my neck. That's all she said. Just left it at that. That's coming up in conferences, so. Yeah, I don't care for that.

Tom Griswold (15:37)

Yeah. The police arrive at your door. Okay, I can. I can see that. We do have a young lady right over there. She is Ms. Jessica Hooker and she is sitting in for Christy Lee at the Silac Insurance news desk with her black turtleneck and her black glasses.

Willie (15:53)

And I'll break into a house later.

Tom Griswold (15:55)

What do you call that hairdo?

Jessica Hooker (15:57)

I call it the grow out. I. I had a pixie for a little bit and now I'm trying to grow it out. So I don't know. I feel like it's Dorothy Hamill. Ish.

Tom Griswold (16:05)

A little bit.

Jessica Hooker (16:06)

It's rough right now.

Mark Shalafou (16:07)

It's kind of like George Harrison on the Ed Sullivan Show.

Jessica Hooker (16:10)

Yeah.

Tom Griswold (16:11)

Wow. You're dead on, right?

Jessica Hooker (16:13)

Yeah, that helps. Willie.

Bob Kevoian (16:14)

Thanks.

Frosty (Character in song) (16:15)

We're in the room.

Mark Shalafou (16:16)

I don't.

Willie (16:17)

You're the best.

Mark Shalafou (16:17)

I'm so sorry.

Pat (16:19)

Pick a dude.

Willie (16:21)

No, I mean, I cry about it later. It's all right.

Tom Griswold (16:23)

That early. That sort of like third year of the Beatles where they hadn' full hippie.

Willie (16:30)

One day without talking about the Beatles.

Jessica Hooker (16:33)

No, it's okay. My stylist told me the other day, she said you're gonna. When you're growing out, you're gonna have four good weeks and four bad weeks until you reach.

Willie (16:40)

Huh?

Jessica Hooker (16:41)

Where you want to go. And I'm in a bad four week period. No, no.

Tom Griswold (16:46)

A four week period would be really rough. Wow. Crabby.

Willie (16:52)

Sometimes the people you're married to, the period lasts their entire married life. Did you know that, Tom? You should grow out your. You should grow out your hair. Be. Yeah, be ponytail guy.

Tom Griswold (17:01)

Oh, ponytail bald guy.

Willie (17:03)

Ponytail bald guy. Yes.

Tom Griswold (17:05)

No, wait a minute.

Bob Kevoian (17:05)

Is that.

Tom Griswold (17:05)

Is that. Is that the skullet?

Christopher (17:06)

That's the skull, yeah.

Jessica Hooker (17:08)

Kind of.

Willie (17:08)

I think so.

Mark Shalafou (17:09)

It would look so cool if you had that luscious white hair dripping out of your cowboy hat.

Jessica Hooker (17:13)

There you go.

Tom Griswold (17:14)

Oh, yeah. Popping out of the back of that. That thing in the back of the cap. Yeah, that's a good look for me.

Willie (17:18)

And you just go Giddy up, ladies. They would be crawling to the door.

Tom Griswold (17:22)

That's your line. Giddy up.

Willie (17:24)

Giddy up, ladies.

Tom Griswold (17:24)

Giddy up, ladies. Okay, I'll have to write that down. The SILAC insurance news desk does have some content today. What do we got?

Jessica Hooker (17:31)

Scientists say Viagra may reverse the damage behind one type of deafness.

Tom Griswold (17:37)

Think about this. Great news.

Jessica Hooker (17:40)

Researchers discovered genetic mutations which caused some people to be born with hearing loss known as sensory neural hearing loss. Scientists were able to identify a common supplement, L arginine and the erectile dysfunction drug Sidonafil. That's Viagra. Right. As potential therapies to repair some of the damage caused by the condition.

Tom Griswold (18:04)

So it wouldn't work for like the deafness that I'm suffering from listening to headphones for too long?

Jessica Hooker (18:08)

No, I don't think that kind. This is very specific, so.

Tom Griswold (18:11)

But wouldn't that be weird though if you were. If you were given this stuff and this. The side effect.

Mark Shalafou (18:16)

Yeah.

Tom Griswold (18:16)

Was, you know, better hearing.

Jessica Hooker (18:19)

Yeah, that would be great.

Willie (18:20)

Better hearing and hair growth.

Tom Griswold (18:21)

Yeah. Talk about hard of hearing. Because the type of hearing loss that some of us in this room have from. Yeah. From doing radio for so long and having the headphones too loud or being exp. Like a lot of musicians are, especially the older ones that were kind of pre. In ear monitors, their hearing is shot. It would be great if they could figure out a way to help help us with that.

Jessica Hooker (18:49)

Well, if that was the ca. I mean, you guys are the demographic for Viagra, so if you. I'm just saying if it were effective that way you guys would be able to hear each other better.

Willie (19:00)

You know, I'm sitting here thinking. I think that's why I stopped like going out to lunch and things other than I don't care to go out anymore. But restaurants. Restaurants are just. Forget it. I can't hear at all, man. Whoever's talking to me, I would choose.

Jessica Hooker (19:17)

A restaurant based on that.

Willie (19:18)

Yeah, yeah.

Tom Griswold (19:19)

Oh, yeah.

Willie (19:20)

Quieter the better. Yeah, yeah.

Tom Griswold (19:22)

Because that's extraneous noise makes it very difficult to hear.

Bob Kevoian (19:26)

Yeah. You don't want to take your Viagra before going to lunch.

Willie (19:30)

But they have really good sandwiches.

Tom Griswold (19:32)

Yeah, but it'll be handy in the evening and you can hear your wife say no a little bit better. So now, Pat, you've got your guitar out.

Pat (19:40)

So you're saying you take a Viagra.

Tom Griswold (19:42)

And there's a possibility that your hearing is going to get better.

Pat (19:46)

I can hear clearly now. My is hard. I took a Viagra and hear ya loud and clear. Mine oh, you're saying no? I had no idea, dear. It's gonna be a loud, hard, rejection filled day. All the time I thought you were into me, but I pop a pill and here that isn't so. You have no desire for such intimacy. Oh, I hear you. It's gonna be a loud, hard, rejection filled day. But on the bright side, a big erection and no hearing aids. I can hear. Hey, thank you very much.

Tom Griswold (20:49)

The only aid you've got are hearing aids. That's nice. Good to know. Let's go back to the Psylac Insurance news desk, shall we?

Jessica Hooker (20:59)

Yes. Several schools in Australia were shut down after asbestos was discovered in a brand of colorful sand that was being used for school activities. That's not funny. Officials issued a nationwide recall for multiple brands of the sand after lab testing confirmed the contamination.

Tom Griswold (21:16)

Yeah, but good news, no playground fires.

Willie (21:23)

You know, playground fire, probably.

Tom Griswold (21:29)

Kids get to learn how to spell mesothelioma.

Willie (21:31)

Yeah, yeah. Inhaling asbestos. Yeah. Another one. That's good.

Tom Griswold (21:37)

Did you have at your school? We used to have mercury Monday. Now did you ever. You're in school and someone dropped a thermometer and the mercury balls, we'd be rolling around with them.

Willie (21:50)

My dad. My dad had access to mercury at the factory and he would bring home like beakers of it and I'd play around with it.

Jessica Hooker (21:59)

That's what's wrong with you?

Willie (22:00)

Oh, yeah, I still. Every now and then I'll walk by microwave and piss my pants. You don't play with. You don't play around of that stuff. Just stay away.

Christopher (22:12)

That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play and stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody.

Tom Griswold (22:23)

Two hours ago, Kyle arrived at the bar. Hey, what's everyone drinking? Thirty minutes ago, Kyle got his friends another round of drinks.

Bob Kevoian (22:31)

Cheers.

Tom Griswold (22:33)

Five minutes ago, Kyle decided to drive home drunk. A minute ago, a law enforcement officer pulled up behind Kyle.

Jessica Hooker (22:41)

Sir, have you been drinking tonight?

Tom Griswold (22:43)

A chain of events that began two hours ago is about to change Kyle's whole world. Drive sober or get pulled over. Paid for by nhtsa.