B&T Extra: Comedian Sam Miller

Summary

The BOB & TOM Show Extra: Comedian Sam Miller

Date: January 19, 2026
Guest: Sam Miller (Comedian)

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Episode Overview

This BOB & TOM Show Extra episode features comedian Sam Miller, with the crew diving into hilarious and honest conversations about Sam’s life experiences, from his imposing stature and life as a formerly homeless man, to stories of tattoos (both regrettable and meaningful), relationships, and plenty of laughter about life’s unglamorous moments. The tone is playful yet frank, with Sam’s affable humor shining throughout, and the hosts riffing as only this legendary morning crew can.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing Sam Miller: "A Man of a Certain Size"

[02:12 – 02:45]

• The hosts note Sam’s stature.
  • Sam: “I am six foot six. I am 360… 370 right now.”
  • Jokes about doing cardio, “My legs are bigger and my middle is the same size.”
• Sam talks about being “very married” and jokes about avoiding polyamorous lifestyles.
  • Sam: “I have a hard time with math, so I just—one on one, baby. That’s what I’m looking for.” [03:17]

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2. Tattoo Stories: The Good, The Bad, And The Hopefully Not On The Face

[04:22 – 05:35; 10:44 – 12:23]

• Sam reveals his tattoos: an AK tattoo and hand grenade—remnants of a wilder, angrier past.
  • “I got this gun tattoo to look tough. Then after I got sober, I got a job at a preschool and they made me wear a sock on my arm…”
• Comically confesses,“I used to have, like, a temper.”
• New tattoos since sobriety: a seagull (linked to a rumor he ate seagull eggs after quitting drinking) and the Capitol Theater sign (the place he was last homeless and where he recorded his first comedy album).
• On whether to remove old tattoos:
  • “No… it’s a good reminder of, like, kind of the person I was and who I was trying to be and who I’m not anymore and who I am.” [11:59]
• Warns about face tattoos:
  • “I got a cool face. My body is gonna be what it’s gonna be, so I should probably really focus on [not tattooing my face].” [13:09]
  • “Some [tattoo artists] don’t do it. They have standards. They really, like, interview you if you want to have a name… anywhere.” [12:37]

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3. Tattoos as Relics and Removal Follies

[11:00 – 11:43]

• Jess Hooker reveals she had joke “Fu Manchu” mustache tattoos on her fingers (removed at a cost of $1,200–1,500).
• Currently having a sleeve removed: “So that’s going to be thousands.”
• The group laughs about the cost and pain of tattoo removal versus the impulsiveness of getting tattooed.

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4. Sam’s Homelessness: Grit, Resilience, and Humor

[06:09 – 09:42]

• Sam discusses waking up homeless in Olympia, WA, referencing it as a catalyst for his life change.
• The group jokes about “tarp stuff” and the realities of rough sleeping.
  • Sam: “I woke up under a tarp with a homeless lady. We were doing tarp stuff.” [06:39]
  • “I always tell folks: I was homeless too, so it wasn’t that weird at all. It would’ve been weird if I woke up with a middle class lady.” [06:53]
• On living in a barn:
  • “I had a carpenter’s pencil and I would write, like, math equations on the ceiling, but I don’t know anything about math. I just wanted the next person that lived in the barn to think that the other person who lived there was really smart.” [07:56]
• On how he kept his clothes clean:
  • “All I wore was overalls and football cleats, and I would just jump in the lake, like my whole self…” [09:48]
  • “I wore out my shoes, and all I could find was offensive lineman cleats, and I wore them until they became regular shoes.” [10:03]

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5. Romance & Relationships as a Big Guy

[13:44 – 15:47]

• Sam shares his affection for bigger women, discussing his wife with warmth and humor.
  • “She is [a woman of a certain size] and I love it.” [13:59]
  • “I’ve always been romantic, too. You know, make a little bath—but you don’t put too much water in there.” (Cue Archimedes Principle jokes.) [14:14]
  • “My favorite tattoo [my wife] has is… a pinup girl, like, nursing… after our first son was born. And she’s got a Gilda Radner tattoo.” [15:37]
• Hosts playfully comment on descriptions—“To be kind is the meanest part of the sentence.” [14:58]

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6. Tattoos, Trends, and Identity

[12:23 – 13:43]

• Riffs on the cultural shift toward visible (especially facial) tattoos and generational attitudes.
• Sam: “The world keeps moving forward... I see face tattoos a lot now. I’m not gonna get any tattoos on my face. I got a cool face.” [13:09]
• Discussion of friends who returned from prison with full face tattoos and the mainstreaming of the look.

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7. Hairstyles & Self-Image: Jokes About Looks Turn to Acceptance

[16:51 – 19:11]

• Jess gets teased about her new, feathered haircut—compared playfully to a 1970s Linda Ronstadt album—and debates chopping it off for a pixie cut.
• Tom Griswold, known for his strong opinions, is lampooned for his intense focus on people’s hair.
• Sam offers encouragement: “I think you look great. I think it’s fun. I’m a great guy because I love all haircuts.” [17:01]
• Jokes about male hair trends (“shaved side… like they’re in the Hitler youth”), as well as the pros and cons of drastic hair changes.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On marriage:
  “I have a hard time with math, so I just—one on one, baby. That’s what I’m looking for.” – Sam Miller [03:17]

• On tattoo remorse:
  “I got this gun tattoo to look tough. Then after I got sober, I got a job at a preschool and they made me wear a sock on my arm…The kids would be like, ‘What’s wrong with your arm?’ And I was like, ‘I got a boo boo.’” – Sam Miller [04:37]

• On getting tattoos removed:
  “That one was like, I want to say, like, 12, $1500. And right now I'm in the middle of having a sleeve removed, so... that's going to be thousands.” – Jess Hooker [11:29]

• On homelessness:
  “I always tell folks, like, I was homeless too, so it wasn’t that weird at all. It would’ve been weird if I woke up with a middle class lady.” – Sam Miller [06:53]

  “I used to just wear overalls and football cleats, and I’d just jump in the lake, like my whole self…” – Sam Miller [09:48]

• On identity and old tattoos:
  “No…I don’t know. It’s a good reminder of, like, kind of the person I was and who I was trying to be and who I’m not anymore and who I am.” – Sam Miller [11:59]

• On body size and love:
  “I love big women—that’s what I’m into. I’ve always been romantic, too. You know, make a little bath—but you don't put too much water in there.” – Sam Miller [14:14]

• On being a supportive guy:
  “I think you look great. I think it’s fun. I’m a great guy because I love all haircuts.” – Sam Miller [17:01]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Sam discusses his size and marriage: [02:12–03:23]
• Tattoo talk kicks off (mistakes and meaning): [04:22–05:47]
• Sam’s journey through homelessness: [06:09–09:42]
• Tattoo removal stories: [11:00–11:43]
• Identity and generational tattoo trends: [12:23–13:43]
• Big love: jokes and earnestness about his wife: [13:44–15:47]
• Hairstyles & body image banter: [16:51–19:11]

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Tone & Takeaway

This episode is raucous, self-deprecating, and ultimately life-affirming. Sam Miller uses personal tales of hardship, regret, and recovery as comedic fodder and sources of candid reflection. The BOB & TOM Show crew, true to form, keep the jokes flying while allowing space for Sam’s real insights about transformation, acceptance, and what tattoos (and the stories behind them) can mean.

Bottom line: Expect to laugh hard, wince in recognition, and leave with both a few life lessons and plenty of new one-liners about overalls, bathwater, and the price of erasing a joke tattoo.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Tom Griswold]

How many discounts does USAA auto insurance offer?

[Sam Miller]

Too many to say here. Multi vehicle discount, Safe driver discount. New vehicle discount.

[Tom Griswold]

Storage discount.

[Christopher (Chris)]

How many discounts will you stack up?

[Ashley]

Tap the banner or visit usaa.com autodiscounts restrictions apply.

[Christopher (Chris) - Host Intro]

Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon. We'll give you a little extra. In case you missed anything on the big show today, comedian Sam Miller. He's coming in just a minute.

[Sam Miller]

It's awesome.

[Tom Griswold]

You're gonna love it.

[Jess Hooker]

I am.

[Sam Miller]

I'm give it to you.

[Tom Griswold]

Thank you.

[Sam Miller]

All right.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Thanks for being here.

[Sam Miller]

Thank you.

[Ashley]

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[Christopher (Chris)]

Thanks, Ashley, for being here. You are rocks.

[Sam Miller]

If you missed something yesterday, maybe you'll hear it now. This is Bob and Tom. Extra.

[Chick Magee]

Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom show at the news desk. It's Jess Hooker.

[Jess Hooker]

Hello.

[Chick Magee]

There's Pat Godwin in the performance room.

[Sam Miller]

Hey, chicken.

[Chick Magee]

Josh Arnold is here at the sidekick chair.

[Tom Griswold]

Hi, Jer.

[Chick Magee]

There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick Magee. And here's Tom Griswold with our very special guest.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Well, thank you very much. We are joined in the studio by comedian Sam Miller. If you. How do I word this? You can't see Sam. Sam is a man of a certain size.

[Chick Magee]

Unless you're watching YouTube.

[Christopher (Chris)]

A big fella. You could see him on the YouTube. That's right, the Bob and Tom YouTube channel. See? How tall are you, Sam?

[Sam Miller]

I am six foot six. I am £360. 370 right now.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, okay.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. But I've been doing cardio.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. And it's working. It's just my legs are bigger and my middle is the same size.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

You gained Some of that muscle you. Yeah, yeah.

[Christopher (Chris)]

It's good to see you. And now, by way of background, you are. Now you're a married man, Is this correct?

[Sam Miller]

Very married.

[Chick Magee]

Very married, yeah.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Okay.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, I'm really good at being married. It's really easy. I'm not into that. A lot of people are into the poly stuff.

[Tom Griswold]

I don't.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Poly. Multiple.

[Sam Miller]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Polyamorous.

[Chick Magee]

Like. Like a throuple, Tom. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sam Miller]

Three people.

[Christopher (Chris)]

No, thanks.

[Chick Magee]

Thruffle?

[Christopher (Chris)]

No, no, no, no.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. I have a hard time with math, so I just. One on one, baby. That's what I'm looking for.

[Jess Hooker]

No zone defense.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Just stay focused.

[Sam Miller]

No, no, but that's great to be back. Thank you for having us back.

[Christopher (Chris)]

We'll check in with you in a matter of moments. I want to get a couple quick news headlines sitting in, as you can see. For Christy Lee, it's Jess Hooker. Looking good today, Jess.

[Ashley]

Thanks, Tom.

[Christopher (Chris)]

There was some implication that I was saying. Suggesting you had a lot of work done. I was referring to your house, not to you.

[Jess Hooker]

Right, right, right. Yeah.

[Chick Magee]

Work on our place.

[Christopher (Chris)]

But there we go. Now, yesterday, we had a fascinating story about a guy that had a ruler tattooed on his finger.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, we did.

[Christopher (Chris)]

He must have been a carpenter or something.

[Tom Griswold]

He was a navyman, wasn't he?

[Jess Hooker]

Yes. You worked on the ships.

[Tom Griswold]

Navyman, yeah. Navyman.

[Chick Magee]

Is that what they call.

[Tom Griswold]

Absolutely.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Seaman. Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, they like to be called navum.

[Christopher (Chris)]

So he. But I thought it was interesting he was able to be handy if you were a carpenter.

[Chick Magee]

Don't you think people with tattoos are just generally filthy. Filthy, filthy people. Right.

[Sam Miller]

I don't trust.

[Chick Magee]

I noticed that you have a tattoo of an AK on your right arm. Is that it?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, that was a mistake.

[Chick Magee]

I tell you, I hate tattoos.

[Sam Miller]

Tattoos.

[Chick Magee]

And I hate them who wear them.

[Christopher (Chris)]

A chick has.

[Chick Magee]

I'm showing.

[Sam Miller]

I got this gun tattoo to look tough. And then after I got sober, I got a job at a preschool, and they. They made me wear a sock on my arm.

[Tom Griswold]

Like McFoley.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. And the kids would. The kids would be like, what's wrong with your arm? And I was like, I got a boo boo.

[Chick Magee]

Oh, you should have totally turned that into a puppet. That would have been a puppet time.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's a. There's a hand grenade as well.

[Sam Miller]

There's. Yeah, yeah. I used to have, like, a temper. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

What about the fish?

[Christopher (Chris)]

What's on the other arm?

[Sam Miller]

Well, I wanted the other arm to be chill because the balance I can't see. Daisy. Okay, yeah, that's very cool.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Looks like a big, big fish. And have you gotten any tattoos since your well publicized sobriety?

[Sam Miller]

I got. Yeah, I got the seagull on my. My new ones that I got since I've been on the show. I got a seagull on my knee.

[Jess Hooker]

Okay.

[Sam Miller]

Because I have a jo used to do about how when I got sober, there was a rumor going around that I was eating seagull eggs, but it's not true. I never ate seagull eggs. That's a rumor. Okay. And I also just got the Capitol Theater signed from Olympia, Washington. And that's the theater that I woke up in front of on June 10, 2008, my last day. Homeless. And also where I recorded my debut comedy album. How cool is that? Same theater.

[Christopher (Chris)]

So now where's that one?

[Sam Miller]

That's in Olympia, Washington.

[Christopher (Chris)]

No, no, no, on your body.

[Sam Miller]

Where's the tattoo? Yeah, I also got the tattoo in Olympia. And no, it's on my leg. And it's still, like, it's still healing. It's still. It still hurts a little bit.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Boy, that's a.

[Chick Magee]

That's a Netflix movie waiting to happen, right?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, yeah, I'm still waiting for the call.

[Christopher (Chris)]

You woke up homeless on the street in your own vomit.

[Sam Miller]

No, no, no, no. I had no idea I'm making this movie.

[Chick Magee]

Could have.

[Sam Miller]

That's.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I like, didn't Jimi Hendrix die.

[Chick Magee]

Choking on his own, but he didn't wake up? Yeah.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah. Then no wonder. It wouldn't be such a good movie, would it?

[Sam Miller]

No, I. I woke up under a tarp with a homeless lady. We were doing tarp stuff. Oh, I'm not gonna go into details.

[Chick Magee]

Hey, Pat, you like the tarps?

[Jess Hooker]

I was gonna say you don't have to be homeless to do tarp stuff.

[Chick Magee]

Yeah, you could do blanket stuff. You could. Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

But I always. I always tell folks, like, I was homeless too, so it wasn't that weird at all.

[Jess Hooker]

Right.

[Sam Miller]

It would have been weird if I woke up with like a middle class lady.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah. Or vice versa if.

[Jess Hooker]

If you were out for tarps and weren't.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah. Some preppy frat guys. Well, you know, banging a homeless babe at the front of the gutter.

[Chick Magee]

You know how this works. You know how this show works.

[Tom Griswold]

You know when you say like that, it's not as hot as. No, you really killed the vibe.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah.

[Chick Magee]

You know, there's some housewife out there right now. That's her thing is banging a homeless guy.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Jess Hooker]

Maybe she husband dress up like that.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I. I Doubt it. Better possible.

[Tom Griswold]

No. You know, it's out there.

[Chick Magee]

I guarantee you.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, how long were you homeless, Sam?

[Sam Miller]

It was. It's complicated because I lived in a barn for a while.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Sam Miller]

But I guess that sounds nice. Well, it's still technically homeless.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Was anyone aware that you were living in the barn?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, because they didn't want me in the house. Oh, all right. They were like, go to the barn. I was like. Like, Jesus, like, what a deal.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Did you sleep in the hay or.

[Sam Miller]

No, there wasn't any hay in the barn. No, I was. I was upstairs. You know, it's weird. This is a weird thing I used to do is I had a carpenter's pencil and I would write, like, math equations on the ceiling, but I don't know anything about math.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Okay.

[Sam Miller]

I just wanted the next person that lived in the barn to think that the other person who lived there was really smart.

[Tom Griswold]

Will Hunting?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. No, no, no. I watched that Beautiful Mind movie. I was like, maybe I'm secretly a genius.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Wow, that's.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, didn't Patrick Swayze and Roadhouse sort of live in a bar?

[Christopher (Chris)]

He didn't.

[Tom Griswold]

Good company before.

[Jess Hooker]

They were popular.

[Tom Griswold]

But while you were without. What do they. What do they call it now? Temporarily unhoused?

[Chick Magee]

No, it's.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yes.

[Chick Magee]

They're houseless. They're not homeless.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah. Temporarily unhoused, I believe, is the current.

[Sam Miller]

I used to work at a shelter, and I get why they use those terms. Because, like, if you're like, oh, that person's homeless. And, like, that's. There's a lot of different types of homeless folks. A lot of reason people get homeless, so I get it. But also, I don't care what people mean. Well, right.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I'm technically homeless because I don't live in an rv, so. Right. You could be RV less.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I'm yachtless.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yes. I'm trailerless. So you're trying to put a positive.

[Tom Griswold]

Spin on it Right now I feel we're being classless.

[Christopher (Chris)]

No, I think tasteless.

[Sam Miller]

Yes.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Sam, were you ever hit on by, like, what. What Tom was asking about, like, a. A housewife.

[Sam Miller]

I would go home with women.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

Like, because.

[Christopher (Chris)]

There you go.

[Sam Miller]

Because, you know, they know that you were gonna stay. Yeah, I tried. Every dog has his day.

[Tom Griswold]

Sure.

[Sam Miller]

You know, but usually I date these women, and it take them, like, a week and a half, and they'd be like, I've never seen his place.

[Tom Griswold]

And it's like, actually, have we just drove by?

[Christopher (Chris)]

That's my box.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. In a way, I have more homes Than you?

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christopher (Chris)]

So did you. How did you clean your clothes?

[Sam Miller]

You know. God, I can't believe I'm gonna talk about this, but I used to just wear overalls. Like, I had this one summer, all I wore was overalls and football cleats, and I would just jump in the lake, like my whole self, and I.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay, yeah.

[Chick Magee]

Did you say football cleats?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. I was a good football player in high school, and I went to my mom's house because I wore out my shoes, and all I could find was offensive lineman cleats, and I wore them until they became regular shoes.

[Christopher (Chris)]

You wore off the cleats.

[Jess Hooker]

That is efficient.

[Chick Magee]

Yeah, because cleats don't really give that kind of tract on asphalt. No, I threw on the field. Yeah, I bet.

[Christopher (Chris)]

So you found women that found a shirtless guy wearing overalls with a lot of BO and cleats they wanted to.

[Tom Griswold]

Take was temporarily unclean?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. I think they thought I was an artist.

[Jess Hooker]

It's true.

[Christopher (Chris)]

There you go.

[Sam Miller]

They were like. Or they hated their dad. I don't know.

[Christopher (Chris)]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Either way, it worked out.

[Sam Miller]

Probably the way.

[Chick Magee]

It's a win.

[Sam Miller]

Win.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Sam Miller is our guest. And I brought up the tattoo thing because you have some prominent tattoos, but Ms. Hooker has actually had a couple of tattoos removed, and they were in. Well, they were on your fingers.

[Jess Hooker]

They were on my fingers, yeah. In college, I thought it would be funny to get a Fu Manchu tattooed on both of my fingers.

[Christopher (Chris)]

In other words, she's got a big line on the fingers.

[Jess Hooker]

You can't see it anymore. I had them removed.

[Christopher (Chris)]

You hold them up your mouth. Show them how you do it.

[Jess Hooker]

You do this.

[Sam Miller]

That's awesome.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

I mean, it would have been equally effective if I would have just had a sharpie and drew them on there.

[Christopher (Chris)]

But on the occasion of a fun party.

[Jess Hooker]

Right? Yeah. So, yeah, I had those. That was the first tattoo.

[Christopher (Chris)]

And you did have. You had them. Technically, they were removed.

[Jess Hooker]

Removed, yeah.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Do you mind if I ask what that cost?

[Jess Hooker]

That one was like, I want to say, like, 12, $1500.

[Sam Miller]

What?

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

And right now I'm in the middle of having a sleeve removed, so.

[Tom Griswold]

So that's going to be thousands.

[Christopher (Chris)]

It's not cheap. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Chick Magee]

Wow.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, those. Those tattoos are cheap.

[Chick Magee]

That's why you're getting them cheap and really, really hot.

[Sam Miller]

Okay.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Now, Sam, is anyone ever offered to. Would you want to get the. Whatever. Do you have sword gun removed?

[Sam Miller]

No. I don't know. It's a good reminder of, like, kind of like the person I was and who I was trying to be and who I'm not anymore and who I am. And also, like, I don't. If anybody ever wants to be. And I think, Chick, you'll understand, like, if anybody ever wants to be, like, oh, I don't like that. Because he's got tattoos, it's like, all right, man. Peace out, dude.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that's not a positive. Yeah, sure.

[Christopher (Chris)]

But you had. You had the sense not to put any on your face.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Christopher (Chris)]

That's an unfortunate trend I keep seeing.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. I don't know, man. The world keeps moving forward.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I don't think that's.

[Chick Magee]

No, but you really have to find. You hunt to find a tattoo artist who would put something on your face.

[Sam Miller]

Oh, some of them don't do it.

[Chick Magee]

Some of them. Absolutely. And they. They don't.

[Christopher (Chris)]

They have standards.

[Chick Magee]

They really, like, interview you if you want to have a name.

[Tom Griswold]

Anywhere.

[Chick Magee]

Yeah, they're really careful about that too. Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

I had a friend of mine who went to prison in Northern California, and this was before face tattoos were a thing. And he came back and his whole face was tattooed. And I remember seeing him and just being like. And gasping.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

But now I see it.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

I see it quite a lot.

[Tom Griswold]

Post Malone is gonna popularize Jelly. Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

He got the tattoo in prison.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, I think so. I think so. Yeah. And I don't know. I'm not gonna get any tattoos on my face. I got a good. I got a cool face. Yeah. Yeah. And I. My body is gonna be what it's gonna be, so I should probably really focus on.

[Christopher (Chris)]

What'd you say you're six. Six feet. What is it?

[Sam Miller]

Six, six. And I'm 370 right now. I always say 360, but I'm 370. But I go. I went to the doctor. My blood pressure is good. It's not good, but it's. It's. It's safe. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yes.

[Christopher (Chris)]

You have a lot of tattooable real estate, if you will, on your body.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Vast amounts of flesh.

[Sam Miller]

I got a joke about that, about big women, and I love big women, and it's nice because they got more room for tattoos.

[Christopher (Chris)]

You know, larger canvas is your. Be careful. A wife, a woman of a certain size.

[Sam Miller]

She is. And I love it.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Sam has told us many. He loves the bigger women.

[Sam Miller]

She. She rules. She's large. I like big women. That's what I'm into. I've always been romantic, too. You know, I like to make a little bath. Like, the. Draw a bath. But you don't put too much water in there.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Sure.

[Sam Miller]

With the big lady.

[Chick Magee]

I know what you.

[Christopher (Chris)]

This is Archimedes rule.

[Chick Magee]

Yeah, Right.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah, sure.

[Chick Magee]

That's right.

[Jess Hooker]

There you go.

[Sam Miller]

Is that our community? Yeah.

[Chick Magee]

He was way ahead of his time. Yeah. He was bathing big, beautiful women.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

And he learned.

[Chick Magee]

He learned.

[Christopher (Chris)]

A lot of people learn that rule when they're doing that turkey thing with the deep fryer and they put. They put the oil in, and then they put the turkey in, and the oil catches the house on fire because there's too much. That's Archimedes right there. So you said your wife is also a. A large lady, to be kind. What. How do you like to describe her? Ruben. S. Beautiful or Rubens? S. Yeah, she's beautiful.

[Sam Miller]

I call her beautiful and amazing and I miss her. And I can't wait to get back home. Ye.

[Chick Magee]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Good for you, Sam.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I'm being complimented.

[Tom Griswold]

No, you're not.

[Chick Magee]

That's the thing.

[Tom Griswold]

Anytime you say to be kind, it's the meanest part of the sentence.

[Jess Hooker]

Usually.

[Chick Magee]

You haven't said chunkles yet.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, that.

[Sam Miller]

But you have.

[Christopher (Chris)]

No, I was. Because he was saying that she was a large gale, so she had more room for tattoos.

[Sam Miller]

I appreciate you having my back.

[Christopher (Chris)]

He'd have her back. But it's too big.

[Sam Miller]

Tom scares me on some levels. On some levels, not at all.

[Christopher (Chris)]

You jokingly said the.

[Chick Magee]

Kick his ass, Sam.

[Sam Miller]

Kick his ass.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Your wife. Your wife has a lot of room for tattoos.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah. She's beautiful.

[Christopher (Chris)]

So what does she. So I. My. I'm trying to get this up, but Josh keeps interrupting me.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christopher (Chris)]

What kind of tattoos does she have?

[Sam Miller]

She's got all kinds of stuff, man. My favorite tattoo she has is of a. Like a pinup girl, like, nursing. And she got that after our first son was born.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Oh, that's sweet.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, it's really cool. And she's got a lot of stuff. She's got a Gilda Radner tattoo.

[Jess Hooker]

Nice.

[Christopher (Chris)]

A portrait of Gilda.

[Sam Miller]

It's. It's kind of like they have, like, the 13 on the 13th. You know about this? On Friday the 13th. A lot of tattoo shops they run.

[Chick Magee]

No, they do.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah. And you get to pick one of the ones that they post, right?

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, yeah. And she picked the Gilda.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Christopher (Chris)]

By the way, on a very sad note, Joe Flaherty died.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, I saw that.

[Christopher (Chris)]

The great SCTV actor. But.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, so see the guy? He was in Happy Gilmore.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Jackass.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christopher (Chris)]

He was on Freaks and Geeks. What was. He did the fake late Night host on sctv. Just Count Floyd. Really hilarious.

[Sam Miller]

And.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah, who else? I'm trying to think of the other.

[Chick Magee]

It was also Guy Caviar.

[Christopher (Chris)]

There you go.

[Chick Magee]

He was a general manager of sctv.

[Tom Griswold]

Very funny.

[Chick Magee]

He was in a wheelchair but didn't need it. Yeah, he'd hop out of the wheelchair when he got mad.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Very, very nice.

[Chick Magee]

No, we're gonna be there, I guess.

[Christopher (Chris)]

No, we're acknowledging. Look, it's Jess Hooker over there.

[Jess Hooker]

Here I am.

[Christopher (Chris)]

You ever see a Linda Ronstadt album from about 1979?

[Jess Hooker]

I got my hair cut and there's lots of feathering and bangs and I.

[Sam Miller]

Think you look great. I think it's fun.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Thanks.

[Jess Hooker]

I like it too. I like it. I know it's not necessarily popular, but I'm very nice.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Thank you.

[Sam Miller]

I'm a great guy because I love all haircuts.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

That's a good lesson to learn.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I don't.

[Sam Miller]

It's. It's really.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I hate most. I think the. The current fashion for men. I can't stand with the shaved side. Guys look like they're poodles. Ridiculous. They're in the Hitler youth.

[Jess Hooker]

Well, you're gonna hate this. I'm this close to getting a pixie cut. Just, just.

[Tom Griswold]

Who hates that?

[Jess Hooker]

I know Tom does.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, I didn't.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I don't know that I. Heterosexual men. Anybody else?

[Tom Griswold]

No way, man.

[Jess Hooker]

Like a pixie.

[Tom Griswold]

Real cute.

[Sam Miller]

Yeah, I think they're me.

[Chick Magee]

And you hear what you say before you say it, or you. You just blurted out, sorry.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Han and I are both on that list.

[Jess Hooker]

Yes, Han. Yeah, he is.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Keep. Don't, don't. Don't give yourself the butch haircut, ladies, unless you're. You know.

[Sam Miller]

I love women with really short hair from cuz I had the hots for Sigourney Weaver and aliens.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, yeah.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah.

[Sam Miller]

I also like girls that fight aliens. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

So maybe it's that super hot There.

[Christopher (Chris)]

You. Okay, well, I'm sorry. So sorry. So you're going to get a. You're going to get the old laptop.

[Jess Hooker]

I like. Every 10 years, I just chop it all off and we're. We're coming to at times.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Yeah. How short?

[Jess Hooker]

Like just a pixie.

[Tom Griswold]

It's.

[Jess Hooker]

It's short.

[Tom Griswold]

She's not going to go ghost with a Gozerian.

[Jess Hooker]

Yeah, no, I'm not. I mean, it's. It's not going to be a buzz cut or anything. There's going to be a style.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Could we vote? Could we have like a no audience participation thing?

[Chick Magee]

I don't think so.

[Jess Hooker]

No, I really, I don't.

[Christopher (Chris)]

Fine. Fine.

[Chick Magee]

Are you going to ever admit how preoccupied you are with hair and haircuts and because you're bald? Does that. Does that enter into this conversation?

[Christopher (Chris)]

No, it has nothing to do with.

[Chick Magee]

It has Sam Senior sideburns, though. I don't think you.

[Sam Miller]

You.

[Chick Magee]

You do a service.

[Jess Hooker]

Tom's significant other is out of town, and when she's gone, he doesn't have to shave his sideburn, so he looks like Millard Fillmore.

[Sam Miller]

It looks like those little kid hats that you tie at the bottom.

[Christopher (Chris)]

I would consider that an insult if it weren't an insult. Don't cut your hair. Your hair looks great.

[Tom Griswold]

Do whatever you want, Jess.

[Sam Miller]

Thank you.

[Christopher (Chris)]

You can do whatever you want.

[Jess Hooker]

Do you want to have a job here?

[Christopher (Chris)]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Tom Griswold]

What's the worst thing that's gonna happen? You get fired. Boy, oh, boy, what a blessing.

[Christopher (Chris)]

No more therapy. Woo.

[Christopher (Chris) - Host Intro]

That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play, and stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody.

[Sam Miller]

The United States Soccer Federation presents the U.S. soccer Podcast.

[Tom Griswold]

My name is David Goss, and I' host, Megan Klinenberg.

[Sam Miller]

Everything up until this point has been an outside look at the World cup, and now we're giving people an inside look. It is just total pressure cooker.

[Tom Griswold]

Watching flags come out of little plastic balls is like the epitome of everything that I love. And the World cup is everything. It's why I became a soccer fan.

[Christopher (Chris)]

The U.S. soccer Podcast.

[Sam Miller]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.