
On today's Extra, Greg Warren Warren report Velveeta
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Christopher
Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon we'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything on the big show today. Greg Warren with the Warren Report today on Velveeta. It's coming up in just a minute.
AutoZone Voice
Get in the zone.
AutoZone Employee
AutoZone.
Welcome to the A to Z Savings Event at AutoZone. Yeah, happy to be here. Can I get some rotors? Would you like brake pads with that? How much are the brake pads free with the rotors?
Tom
Free.
AutoZone Employee
Really, really free.
Tom
Okay.
AutoZone Employee
I also need some oil. Would you like an oil filter with that? Yeah. How much is that? Free with five quarts of oil? Free. Really, really free. It's part of the A to Z Savings event. You might as well call it Aid of free at AutoZone.
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Get in the zone.
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Auto zone restrictions apply.
Bob
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It's the Eagles.
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Christy
Tom Elder.
Bob
It's the greatest oohs, Os, and O's in the history of rock. Only from Bob and Tom Records.
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Oh.
Christopher
For those of you who always need something extra, well, here you go.
Tom
This is Bob and Tom. Extra.
Christy
But right now, it's back to the news desk. Christy, what else is happening?
Tom
We have a guest.
Christy
Oh, we do? Oh, very good.
AutoZone Voice
I'm sorry.
Christy
There he is. Okay, very good. Hey, Greg.
Tom
Hey, Tom. How you doing?
Christy
Good. It's comedian Greg Warren with the Warren Report back at your house. You've got all the photographs of various famous Warrens right behind you.
Tom
Yeah, yeah. Looking pretty good, aren't they?
Josh
Yeah, they are.
AutoZone Voice
Oh, yes.
Josh
Not as good as you, though.
Tom
Oh, thanks. Thanks, Christy.
Christy
Speaking of looking good, your podcast, I understand, had a guest in the form of Josh Arnold, your special podcast, not too long ago, is that correct?
Tom
Yeah, he was on the episode that's currently out. We discussed Bass Pro Shop. Josh had a lot of. A lot of insight podcast called the Consumers. It's great episode.
AutoZone Voice
Thank you very much for having me, Greg. It was a lot of fun.
Tom
Yep. That'll be the last time for that.
AutoZone Voice
Yeah, no, I figured. I figured. Yeah.
AutoZone Employee
Now, understandable.
Christy
A couple quick questions, Greg, you just made a tape, video, a film, whatever you want to call it, of your recent performance in Columbus.
Tom
I made a tape? Tom, who am I talking to? Donnie Baker.
Christy
Sorry, sorry. The video you recorded, the performance. When is that going to be out, do we know?
Tom
It looks like early May, I think. I think May 2nd is the current target, but that's not official yet.
Christy
Have you had a chance to watch it?
Tom
No, I have not. I'm supposed to get the rough this week, actually.
Christy
Okay, well, we're looking forward to it.
Josh
Yeah, we are.
Christy
I saw your show in person. It was great. So I can't wait to see it.
Tom
Yeah, I'm pretty excited about it.
Christy
On a weekly basis, typically, we talk to you and you take a topic and do a deep dive. What's happening today?
Tom
Well, I want to talk about a very important topic this week, Tom Velveeta. Cheese.
AutoZone Employee
It's One of my favorites.
Josh
We were just talking about that last love, the Velveeta.
Tom
Yeah. Chick, you're a fan?
AutoZone Employee
Oh, yeah, big time.
Tom
Yeah. When you were a boy, your. Your mom read you the story, I guess, of the Velveeta teen rabbit.
AutoZone Employee
Velvety. Yes.
Tom
Velveeta Teen rabbit, yeah. Great book.
Christy
Was that a craft product?
Tom
I believe it is a craft product. It was not originally. Tom. There's a guy, he's sort of the central figure in this story named Emil Fry. Now, Emil was somewhat of a cheese genius.
AutoZone Employee
Really?
Tom
Yeah. Chick. He had invented a cheese called Leader Kranz. Leader Kranz was a United States version of Limburger. Oh. This sort of odiferous cheese. And he did a nice job with Liederkrans. So he worked for this place called the Monroe Cheese Company up in New York, sort of in the Hudson Valley. And they had a location down in Pennsylvania that had a problem with some. Some broken cheese wheels.
AutoZone Voice
Oh, man.
Tom
Especially Swiss. It was. Yeah. And they would. If the Swiss was damaged or was broken, they. They'd throw it away. And it was. It was getting to be quite a bit of wasted cheese. And they. They said, let's send it to Emil and see what he could do with it, you know? And I'm sure somebody was like, you think he can do anything with it? And, like, do I think he. I think he can make it a jet airplane out of it if he wanted. Do you know, Fry, have you ever had Leader Kranz? I mean, it's a. It's a dead ringer for Limberger. Even better.
AutoZone Employee
He's a cheese genius, is what you say.
Tom
He's a cheese genius. Yeah. So Emil sort of spent a lot of time at home, you might say.
AutoZone Voice
He was a cheese whiz.
Tom
Yes. Very good, Josh. Very good.
Christy
That's.
Tom
That's why they pay you.
AutoZone Employee
That's right sitting right there.
Tom
No, they. That he. So he. He did a lot of sort of experimenting with the. Adding and subtracting different stuff to the broken cheese. And he had a breakthrough after about two years in 1918, and it was. It was Velveeta. It had a very. When cheese melts, as you know, it can. The oil separates. It can be kind of messy. And what he did was sort of added the way. Wow. H e y back into the. The Swiss, and it. He got that consistency right. And it was. It was breakthrough, guys. It was huge.
Christy
No, it. So is Velveeta, though, real cheese.
Tom
Velveeta is not real cheese. At one time, back then it did contain real cheese. It is not now, Tom. I mean, Even in the 80s, I think their little jingle was Colby Swiss and cheddar blended all together or something like that. So there, I think back then, there was real cheese in it.
Christy
I like their new jingle.
AutoZone Employee
Yeah, yeah.
Tom
Whey protein, milk protein concentrate, milk, fat and preservatives. It doesn't ring.
Christy
It's a classic rock thing in a God of Elvita, baby.
Tom
Oh, that's a good one. That's okay, man. I. I bet you they are upset. They left that on the table. That's outstanding.
Christy
Did you know that we had a Velveeta was in the news because they did a hair dye not too long ago. Remember that, Chris?
Josh
They did hair dye. They did nail polish. Remember that?
Tom
Yeah, I do know the nail polish. That it smelled like cheese. Right, Christy?
Advertiser
Exactly.
Josh
Had the color of Velveeta and the smell.
Christy
Yeah, I've got. Yeah. The hair dye was just a couple years ago and it says this product is not a joke. It was written up in Food and Wine magazine. It was available. It was called Velveeta Gold. You could dye your hair.
Tom
Yeah, yeah. Liquid gold or something. They were trying to do a Velveeta martini, too. That I, as I understand, did not work out so well.
Christy
By the way, the Velveeta brand manager, Stephanie Vance, said they're trying to help fans live la Dolce Velveeta. You gotta.
Tom
I like it.
Christy
That's nice.
Tom
I like it. Don't take themselves too seriously.
Christy
That's great.
Tom
Do you guys know what way is?
Christy
You like Kurds and way.
AutoZone Employee
A Little Miss. A Little Miss Muffet.
Tom
That's right. Muffet. Yeah. Muffet was probably the one that was most involved with way.
AutoZone Voice
Yeah.
AutoZone Employee
Old Lady Muffet.
AutoZone Voice
She paved the way. Really?
AutoZone Employee
Yeah.
Tom
Wow. Let me tell you something.
Christy
She's got a way.
Tom
If. If a spider sat down next to emo Fry, he would not be faced. Okay. Yeah.
AutoZone Voice
No, no, there's nothing to be. Fry wouldn't be afraid at all.
Tom
No, no, no. It was. It was one of the first foods recommended by the ama. American Medical. Medical. Yes, yes, Christy, that is. Yeah, yeah. Now, you got to remember this is in the, like, 1931. And I think they were also saying cigarettes were Velveeta.
Christy
The best cheeks to have practiced cigarettes, cocaine.
AutoZone Voice
Back then.
Tom
Yeah. They said Velveeta had all the necessary nutritional value to build firm flesh.
AutoZone Employee
That's what she needs.
Tom
Firm flesh. Yes, you do. Yeah. Josh, your favorite R rated comedy was Firm Fresh, Firm Flesh five, right? Wasn't it?
AutoZone Voice
Yeah, yeah. That's the one where they brought back Steve Gutenberg, and I. I thought one of the finest sequels.
Tom
How many hard bodies did they make?
AutoZone Voice
Okay, I know.
AutoZone Employee
Not enough, I can tell you that.
Christy
All right. I. I just. I Googled Velveeta, Greg, and you're not going to believe what I stumbled on. This was from a year or two ago. Strippers at a Los Angeles strip club were trying to unionize, and one of the strippers in question uses the stage name Velveeta.
Tom
Yeah.
Christy
So there. There you have it.
AutoZone Voice
How does that make you feel, Greg, that you call in with a report ready on Velveeta, and while you're doing it, Tom decides he's going to Google Velveeta and then read to us.
AutoZone Employee
How does that feel, Greg?
AutoZone Voice
Does that hurt? Does it annoy you?
Christy
I think it's fun that the strippers are joining the union. I wonder if it'll be SAG for the older strippers. All right, well, I'm sorry, Greg. Continue. Continue to continue to inform. I just thought that was interesting.
Tom
Did you wake up this morning just knowing you're going to try to find a way to get to that SAG joke, or did that happen organically?
Christy
No, I did. Literally. I just googled the word Velveeta.
Tom
I. To answer your question, Josh, and chicken hurts a little bit.
AutoZone Employee
I know exactly where you're. You're living.
Christy
Tell me. Tell me more about Velveeta.
Josh
You're not paying attention.
Tom
Why would I.
AutoZone Employee
What are you Googling now? What are you Googling now? You know, my favorite fact about Velveeta is all Velveeta during the processing, it is clear. And the color. Yeah, the color you see at the end product is they've added that color. It would taste the same were it clear or green or brown or whatever color you want to make.
Christy
What?
Josh
What is it?
AutoZone Employee
I don't care what makes the best.
Josh
Macaroni and cheese, as Judge Hooker will tell you.
AutoZone Employee
It's so delicious, so good. I can't.
Tom
A lot of people use it to. A lot of people use it to make fudge. Actually, that's really interesting.
AutoZone Employee
Fudge.
Tom
Fudge, yes. Yeah, fudge.
Christy
Did they make it around the corner?
AutoZone Employee
I've never heard of cheese.
Josh
That sounds horrible.
Tom
It is. And then in 1978, that Velveetas and Velveeta shells and cheese was introduced, and I think that's what you're talking about.
AutoZone Employee
Wait a minute, Greg. Tom had a problem. No one heard what he said. What did you. Let's go back and. No, no, no, no, no, no. What was it?
Christy
Around the corner, around the corner.
AutoZone Employee
Fudges made.
Tom
Right, right, right.
Christy
Hey, Greg.
AutoZone Voice
It's best of the lemonade.
Christy
Greg, did you know that in the early days of margarine, in some states.
AutoZone Employee
Oh, God.
Christy
They had.
AutoZone Employee
Now he's doing margarine. Greg.
Christy
No, no, this is actually on topic. In some states, it would come with a powder because it would. They weren't allowed to have it look like butter. The dairy lobby had prevented that. So it would come with a really powder. So you would mix the two together to make it look more like butter.
AutoZone Employee
Well, how did Velveeta.
Christy
Wow, that's. I'm curious as to how Velveeta got by with adding color.
Tom
Well, it's an. It's an outstanding. They. They finally came out in, I think it was 2002. The government said, you cannot call it cheese spread. You have to call it cheese product. Which I kind of think with those things, they ought to be grandfathered in. You know, like they. They've been called cheese for all this time. Let them just call themselves cheese. I don't know.
Josh
Yeah, but it's on a shelf in the store. It's not even refrigerated.
Tom
It is shelf stable, Christy, is what we call that in the grocery business.
AutoZone Employee
I don't care what.
Tom
I was in the shot. I had Hawaiian Punch, which was a shelf stable juice product. Sunny Delight at times was shelf stable. At times it wasn't.
AutoZone Employee
I don't like the sound of that.
Tom
We played it fast and loose. Chick with the. We said it was 90 days shelf stable, and then we made one that's permanently shelf stable.
Christy
But yeah, my mom would keep the Velveeta in the refrigerator.
AutoZone Voice
Same here.
Christy
I. Maybe because it tastes better in a cracker when it's got that. That mouth feel with the chill.
AutoZone Voice
You were eating Velveeta with a cracker?
Christy
Absolutely.
AutoZone Voice
That's the worst way to eat Velveeta.
Christy
Why?
Tom
That's the way that they originally started doing it, John.
AutoZone Voice
In my opinion, Velveeta is only for melting. You don't eat that like a regular.
Christy
No, I'm gonna do. I want an obscure question. I want to direct this at Chick Wiggy, because I think he'll get the answer.
AutoZone Employee
I have no comment. Oh, yes, go ahead.
Christy
Remember they used to do those. Those. All those craft commercials and.
AutoZone Employee
And with Ed Hurley here.
Christy
That's my question. Who was the voice. The voiceover was Ed Hurley.
AutoZone Employee
Ed Hurley.
Christy
He had that mellifluous.
AutoZone Employee
I believe Kraft sponsored Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer for quite some time. And he would have a special recipe.
Christy
Yeah, they'd always have these short recipes and they usually ended up with. And then you top off your caviar with Velveeta cheese.
AutoZone Employee
I'm sorry, you had something, you had something prepared, Greg.
Tom
I'm sorry, no. You guys mentioned Kraft, Kraft bought it actually in 1927, and they sort of promoted it as sliced cheese for a long time, and then they came out with Kraft singles. So they didn't want to compete with themselves, so they started pushing people to think of Velveeta as a dip. Ah. And then sort of at one point in the early 2000s, people for a long time were combining Velveeta and Rotel.
AutoZone Voice
That's a terrific dip. Yeah.
Josh
Yeah.
Tom
Tomato, tomatoes, and chili, I guess. Tomatoes and chilies. And at one point, when conagra bought Rotel crafting, conagra got together and started promoting it. You know, they, they, they, they officially like, put them together in the grocery store and they made ads about it.
AutoZone Voice
Smart.
Tom
I, I, I competed against these guys at ConAgra in a couple categories. I didn't care for them in some of their tactics. Oh, yeah. They, they at one point acquired Hunt Wesson, which I went head to head with him. And Peter Pan and Jif, I didn't like. Yeah. And then they had Wesson oil and I had Crisco. And, you know, I don't want to tell tales. They tended to up the market. Okay, all right. Yeah, Chick. They would just flood the stores with cheap oil that would, and, and, and the grocery, they would just get tricked into buying truckloads of Wesson at a low price. And it's just sitting there on display for probably a year and a half.
AutoZone Employee
But you have, you have to admit, Crisco did not have Western Ality.
Josh
No, it didn't. Lawrence Anderson, boy, she sold that.
AutoZone Voice
Crisco was.
Tom
Yeah.
AutoZone Employee
What we had.
Tom
What we had, Chick, was a good product. What we had was a good product that we didn't need to discount down to 95 cents for a 48 ounce bottle.
Christy
And you're still mad about it.
AutoZone Voice
Crisco was far better on toast than Wesson oil.
Christy
And in the bedroom. Right, John?
AutoZone Voice
Yes, yes.
Josh
Every house had a can of Crisco when we were growing up. Everybody.
Tom
Now, listen, guys, you're talking about Crisco shortening, which I also did sell. But there, Crisco had its own oil as well to compete against Wesley.
AutoZone Voice
Oh, I see.
Tom
But, yeah.
Christy
Who was the big seller?
Tom
Crisco. We. We were. We were market leader. That's why they had to play those. Those games.
AutoZone Voice
Smoke and mirrors.
Tom
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Josh, thank you.
Christy
Yeah. It's time to wrap it up here, Greg. We certainly appreciate you.
Tom
Tom, I'm sure you've been on the computer that you found. Yeah, I know.
Christy
I just.
Bob
I.
Christy
Am I correct to say that the Velveeta pre sliced slices have to be refrigerated?
Josh
I think so, maybe.
AutoZone Voice
Where do you find them? In the fridge.
Christy
They're in the. Okay. Okay.
Josh
So the cube thing, the big cube thing. I find it in the Mexican aisle at our grocery store.
AutoZone Voice
And they do make queso.
Josh
They do a block of queso.
Christy
Oh, very.
Tom
Oh, they do. Because. Because that's. That's effectively what people use it for, right?
AutoZone Voice
Yeah.
Josh
And Mac and cheese.
Christy
Oh, very good. Well, thank you very much.
AutoZone Voice
I don't.
Tom
I don't think I've ever eaten it to be real. Honestly, guys. It doesn't appeal to me.
AutoZone Voice
Well, sure, yeah. You find out things like, it's clear until it's colors. At it, you kind of go, yeah.
Christy
Well, leave that alone.
Tom
Yeah, I'm okay with that.
AutoZone Voice
No, I am too. It makes the best grilled cheese and. And all that stuff. Nachos.
Christy
Yeah. I grew up eating it, so. Thank you, Greg Warren, and we'll look forward to seeing your special. Have you named it yet?
Tom
I haven't, no. No, you have.
AutoZone Voice
And the producers made you name it that and don't worry about it, Tom.
AutoZone Employee
That's.
AutoZone Voice
That's the correct response. Yeah. Lilo.
AutoZone Employee
When all else fails, lie.
Christy
Greg, hang up the phone.
Christopher
That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google Play and stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody.
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Comprehensive Summary of "B&T Extra: Greg Warren Report on Velveeta"
Release Date: March 6, 2025
Podcast: The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast | Cumulus Podcast Network
Introduction
In this episode of "B&T Extra," hosts Christopher and Tom delve into a unique segment featuring comedian Greg Warren’s report on Velveeta. This detailed exploration covers the history, composition, cultural impact, and modern applications of Velveeta, intertwined with the show's signature humor and insightful discussions.
History of Velveeta
Greg Warren begins by tracing Velveeta’s origins back to 1918, focusing on Emil Fry, a "cheese genius" working for the Monroe Cheese Company in New York’s Hudson Valley. Emil was tasked with solving a significant issue: the high volume of wasted Swiss cheese wheels damaged at their Pennsylvania facility.
Greg Warren [06:52]: “Emil was a cheese genius.”
To address the waste, Emil experimented with salvaging broken cheeses, leading to the creation of Velveeta. After two years of meticulous work, Emil achieved a breakthrough by adding whey protein and milk protein concentrate, which allowed Velveeta to melt smoothly without oil separation—a common flaw in traditional cheeses.
Greg Warren [07:03]: “He got that consistency right. And it was a breakthrough, guys. It was huge.”
Initially, Velveeta did contain real cheese, blending Colby Swiss and cheddar. However, over time, its composition evolved.
Greg Warren [07:57]: “Velveeta is not real cheese. At one time, back then, it did contain real cheese.”
Evolution and Composition Changes
In the decades following its creation, Velveeta’s formulation changed significantly. By the 1980s, the product no longer relied solely on real cheese. Instead, it included whey protein, milk protein concentrate, milk fat, and preservatives, making it a shelf-stable cheese product.
Greg Warren [08:00]: “Even in the 80s, I think their little jingle was Colby Swiss and cheddar blended all together or something like that.”
This shift marked Velveeta’s transition from a traditional cheese to a processed cheese product, allowing it to maintain a longer shelf life and consistent meltability.
Government Classification
In 2002, regulatory changes forced Velveeta to be reclassified from a "cheese spread" to a "cheese product." Greg debates whether legacy products like Velveeta should be exempt from such reclassifications.
Greg Warren [14:22]: “They’ve been called cheese for all this time. Let them just call themselves cheese. I don’t know.”
This reclassification reflects broader regulatory trends impacting processed foods, emphasizing transparency in food labeling.
Cultural Impact and Unconventional Uses
Velveeta’s influence extends beyond the kitchen. Greg highlights some of the brand’s quirky ventures, such as Velveeta hair dye and attempts to create a Velveeta martini—though the latter did not gain popularity.
Greg Warren [09:00]: “They did a Velveeta martini, too. That I, as I understand, did not work out so well.”
Additionally, an interesting tidbit emerged when strippers at a Los Angeles club adopted the stage name Velveeta while attempting to unionize, adding an unexpected layer to the brand’s cultural footprint.
Greg Warren [11:43]: “There you have it.”
Modern Applications and Uses
Velveeta remains a versatile ingredient in contemporary cuisine. Greg discusses its primary uses, including:
Macaroni and Cheese: A household staple, appreciated for its creamy texture and consistent melt.
Greg Warren [13:17]: “A lot of people use it to make fudge.”
Dips: Popular in nachos and other snack recipes, Velveeta serves as a reliable base for creamy dips.
Innovative Recipes: From Velveeta-dipped items to experimental dishes like cheese-infused fudge, the product’s adaptability continues to inspire culinary creativity.
The hosts engage in humorous exchanges about unconventional uses, highlighting both the utility and the limitations of Velveeta in various recipes.
Shelf Stability and Packaging
A significant advantage of Velveeta is its shelf stability. Greg explains how the addition of preservatives and specific proteins allows Velveeta to remain stable without refrigeration, contrasting it with traditional cheeses.
Greg Warren [14:59]: “It is shelf stable, Christy, is what we call that in the grocery business.”
This quality makes it a convenient option for consumers, reducing the need for refrigeration and extending its usability.
Notable Quotes
Emil Fry’s Ingenuity:
Greg Warren [06:52]: “Emil was a cheese genius.”
Breakthrough in Consistency:
Greg Warren [07:03]: “He got that consistency right. And it was a breakthrough, guys. It was huge.”
On Velveeta’s Authenticity:
Greg Warren [07:57]: “Velveeta is not real cheese.”
Government Classification Discussion:
Greg Warren [14:22]: “They’ve been called cheese for all this time. Let them just call themselves cheese. I don’t know.”
Modern Culinary Uses:
Greg Warren [13:17]: “A lot of people use it to make fudge.”
Conclusion
Greg Warren’s in-depth report on Velveeta offers a fascinating look into the history, evolution, and cultural significance of this iconic cheese product. From Emil Fry’s ingenious solution to cheese waste to Velveeta’s modern-day culinary versatility, the segment provides listeners with both informative content and entertaining discussions. The BOB & TOM Show successfully blends humor with education, making complex topics engaging and accessible to a broad audience.
Final Thoughts from the Hosts
As the segment concludes, Christopher and Tom reflect on Velveeta’s unique position in the dairy and food industry. While it may no longer qualify as "real cheese," its enduring popularity and adaptability ensure its place in kitchens and hearts nationwide.
Tom: “I don't think I've ever eaten it to be real. Honestly, guys. It doesn't appeal to me.”
This candid admission underscores the diverse perspectives listeners may have about processed cheese products and encourages ongoing dialogue about food innovations and consumer preferences.
For more detailed discussions and entertaining segments, subscribe to The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast on your favorite platform.