B&T Extra: Heated Toilet Seat, Tom's Tinitus, & Shat Rd.

Summary

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The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast

Episode: B&T Extra: Heated Toilet Seat, Tom's Tinnitus, & Shat Rd.

Date: May 11, 2026

Hosts: Tom Griswold, Chick McGee, Christy Lee, Josh Arnold, Pat Godwin, Ace Cosby

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode of "B&T Extra" plays true to The BOB & TOM Show’s legacy: comedic banter and lighthearted conversation among the cast, blended with absurd listener mail and humorous musical interludes. The episode covers a variety of quirky, relatable topics: luxury bathroom accessories (heated toilet seats and bidets), Tom’s struggle with tinnitus, and a listener’s hilarious truck-driving encounter with "Shat Rd." The team riff on everyday annoyances, bathroom mishaps, old TV shows, and unusual listener letters, keeping the tone irreverent and playful throughout.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comfort Tech: Heated Toilet Seats and Bidets

Timestamps: 03:09 – 03:32

• Chick McGee shares a life hack: warming headphones with body heat to combat cold ear pads.
• Tom Griswold quips that the only thing worse than cold headphones is a cold toilet seat.
• Chick and Josh Arnold discuss heated toilet seats and bidets as signs of luxury.
  • Josh Arnold: "It’s all part of that bidet package, my friend." (03:20)
• Jokes are exchanged about the ostentatiousness of having heated toilet seat bidet money.

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2. The Cold Headphone Dilemma & Personal Preferences

Timestamps: 03:43 – 04:10

• Light teasing among the crew over cold weather accessories, personal fashion, and... preferences about strangulation or hair-pulling in relationships.
• Chick: "You like a strangled scenario like that?"
• Christy Lee: "I've never had it so I don't know."

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3. Tom’s Tinnitus Experience

Timestamps: 05:11 – 06:06

• Tom Griswold discusses the constant ringing in his ears and his coping mechanism—listening to ambient music.
  • Tom: "It helps me not have to hear the tinnitus. That constant ringing in my ears." (05:18)
• The group briefly discusses headphone volumes and a new tinnitus treatment involving the tongue, which Tom finds dubious.

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4. Listener Letters: "Shat Rd." and Bathroom Mishaps

Timestamps: 06:06 – 10:13

• Tom reads a letter from Wayne, a trucker who frequents "Shartz Road." The team riff on the street’s unfortunate name and speculate about the popularity (and theft rate) of its sign.
  • Josh: "Have you guys seen it? No, just skid marks as far as…the eye can see." (06:32)
• Another listener admits to accidentally "sharting" while tying his boots—prompting a debate on proper disposal and warning one’s spouse.
  • Chick: "Don't you rinse it out and then…" (08:13)
  • Josh: "You certainly don't just put it in with the other laundry and forget to warn your wife." (08:19)
  • Tom: "I do all my own laundry anyway. So do I. I insist on it." (08:30)

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5. Laundry Mix-Ups & Domestic Disasters

Timestamps: 08:43 – 10:13

• Anecdotes about accidentally washing items with belts, shrinking clothes, and washing funky leather shoes.
• The ongoing debate: Who should do the laundry? Is it still expected of women?
• Tom: "That takes all the romance away, too, Shorty. That night, she's gonna look at him and go, you know something, honey? Not tonight." (10:39)
• Josh: "Cleaning the shard out of your pants really got me horny." (10:47)

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6. Medical Mishaps & 'Professional' Advice

Timestamps: 13:13 – 14:09

• Josh mentions his first sty, sparking banter about home remedies.
• Everyone weighs in on how to treat a sty, with the group joking about the unreliability of any medical advice given on the show.
  • Tom: "All medical advice on the show is incorrect." (14:04)

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7. Wild Animals: Raccoon Attics and Squirrel Mysteries

Timestamps: 14:20 – 15:59

• Listeners write in about raccoons in attics and never having seen a squirrel urinate.
  • Christy: "You've got raccoon poop and pee in your attic." (14:42)
• The cast muse on squirrel anatomy and odd phrases like “squirrel dick”—joking about the mysteries of nature.

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8. TV Nostalgia: Gunsmoke, Sons of the Pioneers, and Andy Griffith

Timestamps: 15:41 – 17:23

• Tom laments over "Gunsmoke" and discusses the Sons of the Pioneers musical group.
• Chick: "Could be the Wichita Lineman could be the greatest song ever written." (12:14)
• Cast recalls old TV characters and their actors, including Andy Griffith and Festus from Gunsmoke.
• Spirited debate about whether anyone actually likes these classics.

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9. Squirrels & Colorblindness

Timestamps: 17:30 – 18:36

• Listener letter about white squirrels leads to speculation on albino and black squirrels.
• Discussion segues to colorblindness, including Tom’s father’s experience and notable movie references (“Little Miss Sunshine”).
  • Ace Cosby: "Unless I don't see color."
  • Tom: "I only see it in personal relations." (18:12)

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10. Movie Tangents: Little Miss Sunshine and Tarantino Opinions

Timestamps: 18:36 – 19:22

• The group briefly gets sidetracked discussing the plot and cast of "Little Miss Sunshine."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Tom Griswold: "It helps me not have to hear the tinnitus. That constant ringing in my ears." (05:18)
• Josh Arnold: "It’s all part of that bidet package, my friend." (03:20)
• Josh Arnold: "Cleaning the shard out of your pants really got me horny." (10:47)
• Christy Lee: "You've got raccoon poop and pee in your attic." (14:42)
• Chick McGee: "Could be the Wichita Lineman could be the greatest song ever written." (12:14)
• Ace Cosby: "Unless I don't see color." (18:07)
• Tom Griswold: "All medical advice on the show is incorrect." (14:04)

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Segment Timestamps

• Heated toilet seats, bidet discussion: 03:09 – 03:32
• Cold headphones and personal comfort chat: 03:43 – 04:10
• Tinnitus talk: 05:11 – 06:06
• Listener mail: Shat Rd, sharting mishaps: 06:06 – 10:13
• Laundry mishaps & gender roles: 08:43 – 10:39
• Medical misadventures (sty): 13:13 – 14:09
• Wild animals: raccoons & squirrels: 14:20 – 15:59
• TV nostalgia & Sons of the Pioneers: 15:41 – 17:23
• Squirrels, colorblindness, and movies: 17:30 – 19:22

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Tone & Style

The conversation is spontaneous, witty, and off-the-cuff—punctuated by recurring in-jokes, good-natured ribbing, and gleeful tangents. The cast’s chemistry is easy and familiar, mixing playful teasing with genuine camaraderie, making the show accessible and entertaining even for new listeners.

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Summary

If you missed this "B&T Extra," you missed the lighter side of life: musings about luxurious toilets, the burdens of ringing ears, bathroom blunders, peculiar street names, and the enduring mystery of squirrel anatomy. Listeners write in with stories that spur off-kilter group banter, and the show’s blend of nostalgia, irreverence, and friendly mockery is on full display. This episode is perfect for anyone in desperate need of a laugh about the universal trials of home life, public restrooms, and random animal trivia—with all the humor and warmth The BOB & TOM Show is known for.

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Transcript

[Christopher]

Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon. We'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything. On today's big show, a heated toilet. On today's big show, a heated toilet seat. Plus Tom's tinnitus and shat road. It's coming up in just a minute.

[Chris Van Vliet]

Hey, I'm Chris Van Vliet. Go behind the scenes and beyond the headlines with the biggest names in pro wrestling and beyond. You could pop up in WWE tomorrow. Would Saraya be there or would Paige be there?

[Christy Lee]

Paige.

[Josh Arnold]

100%.

[Chris Van Vliet]

So when you're setting up Logan Paul to frog splash you through the announce table, it's going through your mind. This should make every headline in the world makes sense, right, jelly roll? We knew we had that kind of a moment. Mindset, motivation and what it takes to succeed. Insight with Chris VanVleet. Follow and listen on your favorite plat.

[Pat Godwin]

Come gather around, my friends and I'll tell you about a man A man who is adored by every woman in the land he rides a big white horse he's gorgeous of course he never watches sports and he has never been divorced he's the man, he's the man he's the man who doesn't exist after sex he likes to cuddle and then talk Talk about your mom and he loves to rock out too so lean beyond he's muscular and thin he only has one chin he thinks that Cindy Crawford is way too thin he takes out the trash even before you ask he never holds your head under the covers when he releases gas he's the man, he's the man he's the man who doesn't exist he loves to paint your toenails and then give you a back rub and when you can't button your pants he says they must have shrunk he nourishes your soul he knows how to fold and all his favorite underwear is less than 10 years old he doesn't criticize or tell you how to drive he knows that after sex you shouldn't give a high five he's the man, he's the man the man who doesn't exist.

[Chris Van Vliet]

For those of you who always need something extra, well, here you go. This is Bob and Tom. Extra.

[Chick McGee]

I can't believe it took me this long to figure this out before you put your headphones on, you young broadcasters out there, huh? Put them around your neck and put the. The ear pads up against your chest. It warms Them up very nicely. Is there anything more troubling than a cold headphone going on your head?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, a nice cold toilet seat.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's true. They have heated toilet seats, though, don't they? I mean, mine is. You have a heated toilet seat.

[Josh Arnold]

It's all part of that bidet package, my friend.

[Tom Griswold]

You've got heated toilet seat bidet money. I'm paying you too much.

[Chick McGee]

And let the record show, when he said bidet package, he did a flourish with his hands.

[Christy Lee]

Day.

[Chick McGee]

Hey, we're in the O'Reilly Auto Part Studios. It's the Bob and Tom Show. There's Christy Lee.

[Christy Lee]

Hi.

[Chick McGee]

With a scarf recklessly wrapped around her neck.

[Tom Griswold]

It looks good. Nice color combination. Very nice.

[Christy Lee]

Very springy.

[Chick McGee]

You like a strangled thing? You like a strangled scenario like that? You like it?

[Christy Lee]

No.

[Tom Griswold]

Pick up at the bar.

[Josh Arnold]

And what about just a. A light. Just a hand on the throat. Not choking, but just pulling hair.

[Christy Lee]

I've never had it so I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

What about pulling David Carradine about it? Oh, wait a minute.

[Chick McGee]

Well, he did it to him.

[Josh Arnold]

He liked it a little more gentle, aggressive.

[Chick McGee]

What about hair pulling? You like, ha. Pulling. Put that in the ponytail. Oh, there we go.

[Christy Lee]

All right.

[Chick McGee]

A little bit. You know what that means? A little bit?

[Tom Griswold]

A lot. Yeah. Could we move on and do the introductions?

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry. There's Pat Godwin.

[Christy Lee]

Hello.

[Chick McGee]

There's Josh Arnold.

[Josh Arnold]

You do kind of look like one of the Pink Ladies today.

[Christy Lee]

Yes. Oh, from Greece.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chick McGee]

Beauty School dropout. Is that the name?

[Christy Lee]

What's that?

[Chick McGee]

What am I hearing?

[Ace Cosby]

Good movie.

[Chick McGee]

There's somebody ringing.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, is that me? No, that's off.

[Josh Arnold]

I'm not getting it.

[Tom Griswold]

You had. Are you hearing?

[Chick McGee]

I heard it. You must have turned it off as I was saying it. Thursday's cosby. I'm Chick McGee at the Originsouls.com sports desk.

[Tom Griswold]

Hang on a second. I got too many papers on top of this electronic thing.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, boy.

[Tom Griswold]

Could Eddie come here and give me one that doesn't have so many buttons?

[Josh Arnold]

I know he can come in here and hit you in the head with a hammer.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah,

[Chick McGee]

well, you should have. Should have heard his music this morning.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, what was it?

[Chick McGee]

How did you describe it? Innocuous background?

[Tom Griswold]

No, no. It's called.

[Chick McGee]

Sure. What?

[Tom Griswold]

Ambient.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, this was the tune.

[Tom Griswold]

I know. You had the wrong tempo. It's actually slower than that.

[Chick McGee]

Actually, that's exactly how it sounds.

[Christy Lee]

Did it put you to sleep?

[Chick McGee]

No, I put my headphones.

[Tom Griswold]

It helps. It helps me not have to hear the tinnitus. That constant ringing in my ears.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, your doctor recommended that, did he?

[Tom Griswold]

No, I figured it out on my own. It's pretty obvious, but.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Christy Lee]

Is that why you.

[Chick McGee]

The time you're diagnosing, is your tenus

[Josh Arnold]

rather constant these days?

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, absolutely.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, dude.

[Christy Lee]

So if you're talking. You don't.

[Tom Griswold]

You know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

There's a constant. You have to ignore it.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

It's drives. It can drive.

[Ace Cosby]

You'll go crazy.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, I bet.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Well, I can't believe you don't have it after all these years, wearing headphones.

[Christy Lee]

Not that badly.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. And there's a bizarre.

[Christy Lee]

I keep mine way down. You guys have your headphones away.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a bizarre.

[Chick McGee]

I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, there's a bizarre new treatment for it involving your tongue. I won't even go in.

[Chick McGee]

Let me tell you something.

[Christy Lee]

Are you trying it?

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Christy Lee]

Oh.

[Tom Griswold]

It's electronic in your tongue and I don't believe it.

[Chick McGee]

Dr. Sucking on your tongue. You like that? No.

[Tom Griswold]

This is a nice letter from Wayne. Wwe know. He goes, I'm a truck driver in Dayton, Ohio. I sometimes do a trailer swap in Springboro. The first road you come to going east on 73 off I75 is Shartz Road.

[Chick McGee]

I know exactly where that is.

[Tom Griswold]

Could you please play the tribute?

[Josh Arnold]

I've been on charts. Road. Have you guys seen it? No, just skid marks as far as. Yeah, yeah. They must be really taken off.

[Tom Griswold]

Hey, WW Take care of yourself, buddy. He's got some issues going on. We're gonna. You're gonna be fine.

[Josh Arnold]

Double dub.

[Tom Griswold]

And he wants a special song coming up from Pat. We'll get to it in a few minutes because I forgot to tell.

[Chick McGee]

See, the one time you don't say, what does that person want to hear of mine?

[Ace Cosby]

I know.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

You can make the joke and it come true.

[Chick McGee]

That's right.

[Tom Griswold]

It's a complicated one. It's one of those parodies of a parody.

[Ace Cosby]

Parody of a parody.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Remember? What did you say about that the other day, Josh?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, hat on a hat.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, hat on a hat. Okay, well, thank you very much. Short Road.

[Josh Arnold]

That signed. How many times has that signed and stolen?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Oh, now, I didn't notice. I have two letters, both with the heading chart written by Mark. He wrote Dear Mr. McGee.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

This is one of those new. That's this new tech. This is this new letter we're getting. The. The short letters to Chick.

[Chick McGee]

No, the. Every. Every person has. There are a million City stories in the Naked City. Each person has their own.

[Tom Griswold]

When I was a kid, I thought that was really dirty.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, the Naked City.

[Tom Griswold]

Naked City.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

I taught the nudity was evil.

[Chick McGee]

I'm surprised they let the censors let that title go out. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

This comes to us from Todd O. In Buckhorn, California. He says, Dear Mr. McGee, I was tying my boots today and sharded. Oh, today is laundry day. I forgot to warn my wife. Would you please inform her?

[Chick McGee]

Well, don't you.

[Christy Lee]

Oh, don't you throw it away.

[Chick McGee]

No, no. Don't you rinse it out and then.

[Christy Lee]

I mean throw it away.

[Josh Arnold]

Pre wash. You certainly don't just put it in with the other laundry and forget to warn your wife.

[Chick McGee]

I don't have throw underwear away.

[Christy Lee]

Yes you do.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe I do.

[Christy Lee]

You can go.

[Josh Arnold]

Nevermind.

[Tom Griswold]

I do all my own laundry anyway. So do I. I insist on.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, me too.

[Chick McGee]

Has it ever this happened to you that someone accidentally did your laundry and you just went nuts on. Well, how dare you.

[Tom Griswold]

Other way around.

[Chick McGee]

You've done her laundry.

[Tom Griswold]

I'll come home and throw something in the dryer. Right? Boy, that's why I learned that lesson.

[Christy Lee]

Well. Yeah, because you shrink stuff.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, well.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah, some underwear goes in. Yeah, some women's underwear doesn't.

[Tom Griswold]

I actually it's like doing triage after a school shooting. It's really complicated.

[Christy Lee]

Wow.

[Josh Arnold]

The what are short road chart. Road is funny because I accidentally washed

[Chick McGee]

a pair of jeans with a belt in it one time. I still. I'm. I never heard of the end of it. Still to this day never heard.

[Josh Arnold]

And it's funny because it must have been very loud.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

Oh yeah. Cl. Cl.

[Tom Griswold]

What?

[Chick McGee]

That washer's broke. What the hell?

[Christy Lee]

That. The leather was real soft though.

[Chick McGee]

Damn.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, damn.

[Christy Lee]

Watched it.

[Tom Griswold]

I just put a pair of funky leather shoes in the washing machine. They were like half leather, half rubber, whatever. Oh, lover hiking.

[Josh Arnold]

That's an extra flubber. You see how I can jump and they're great.

[Tom Griswold]

Really came out great. Well, I don't know. They were old in the way, but

[Chick McGee]

they have like I'm gonna say 9 million different sneaker shoe cleaning devices and

[Josh Arnold]

formulas without having to put them in the.

[Chick McGee]

I just having to put them on the washers. Go for it.

[Tom Griswold]

They're keens. Ever heard of that? Oh yeah, they came out great.

[Chick McGee]

They have a nice product ready to go.

[Tom Griswold]

They do.

[Chick McGee]

The styles lacking.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, hello.

[Chick McGee]

That would explain you.

[Tom Griswold]

Love hello to Mrs. O and Buckhorn. You're gonna encounter a sharted pair of underwear today.

[Christy Lee]

Oh God. I'd be so mad.

[Chick McGee]

Is that still. In a relationship, the lady is expected to do laundry?

[Josh Arnold]

That might be a household where she just insists on it because he.

[Tom Griswold]

But I.

[Josh Arnold]

The man who shirts and then just throws it in the laundry isn't the guy you want doing your lawn.

[Chick McGee]

True. That's true.

[Josh Arnold]

She may have some rules.

[Tom Griswold]

That takes all the romance away, too, Shorty. That night, she's gonna look at him and go, you know something, honey? Not tonight.

[Josh Arnold]

You know, I gotta be honest. Cleaning the shard out of your pants really got me horny.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah, that's. Well, if that happens, I guess it's a good match.

[Chick McGee]

I'm not. But licking anything.

[Josh Arnold]

Okay,

[Tom Griswold]

we have some more.

[Chick McGee]

Try and ruin that.

[Tom Griswold]

We have some more Gunsmoke information just in case.

[Josh Arnold]

You son of a. I don't know. You guys want to vote?

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, I want to vote.

[Tom Griswold]

Ready?

[Chick McGee]

I say nay.

[Pat Godwin]

Nay.

[Josh Arnold]

I think I'm a nay.

[Chick McGee]

Okay.

[Josh Arnold]

Does it matter at all, Tom?

[Tom Griswold]

Nope.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, we got a nay calling from the producer.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, in that case, when we come back, I'm now going to do it with audio.

[Chick McGee]

I wasn't going.

[Tom Griswold]

I was just gonna read it. Now I'm gonna read it and play it.

[Chick McGee]

That was a. So there.

[Josh Arnold]

That was a.

[Chick McGee]

Well, that Jack would be impressed. Yes.

[Tom Griswold]

And remember, I hate the show.

[Christy Lee]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

So. But this one.

[Tom Griswold]

No.

[Chick McGee]

That's what's so baffling.

[Chris Van Vliet]

Yes.

[Chick McGee]

Hates us and the show.

[Tom Griswold]

Yet he continues to come in open with a really horrifying joke. Got a great laugh.

[Josh Arnold]

No, I say one every break.

[Pat Godwin]

Let's go.

[Chick McGee]

You had that one lined up, huh? No, no, no. Nothing's funnier than that topic.

[Tom Griswold]

Just trying to sort through something Mark from. Mark from Wichita has written back. We'll find out what he has to say. Oh, you know something? I've got a great letter here.

[Chick McGee]

I hear Wichita, and I think I gotta go get some fresh horses.

[Tom Griswold]

I think the song Wichita Lineman, which is a terrific song.

[Ace Cosby]

I think it's Seven Nation Army.

[Chick McGee]

Could be. Could be the Wichita Lineman could be the greatest song ever written.

[Josh Arnold]

I think of planes, trains and automobiles.

[Ace Cosby]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

People trained don't run out of Wichita less than you a hog or a cattle. Unless in your cattle people train run out of stubville.

[Tom Griswold]

This is a letter that will lead into a little bit of a statement from Josh. Dear everyone, this is from Michael.

[Chick McGee]

He writes, michael, roll the boater.

[Tom Griswold]

Is there any way you can put together an album of just your orange insoles commercials?

[Chick McGee]

Oh, I wondered how long this was gonna take.

[Tom Griswold]

I almost crashed my Car writes Michael from laughing during the Barney segment. Yeah, somewhere in there, somebody said, you can put a rubber on and slam it in your car door. By the way, I've retired from the Army. I spend most of my time in flip flops on Florida Space Coast. But I may just have to get some orange insoles. Anyway, thank you, Mike.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't mean to complain, but I have my very first sty. Oh, my right eye. No, upper eyelid, right eye.

[Christy Lee]

They can be.

[Chick McGee]

They can be painful.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. It doesn't feel great.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

But. Yeah, I never. I've never had one. Have you guys had.

[Chick McGee]

How do you know it is one I have had?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, it's one. It's.

[Ace Cosby]

Yeah, your right eyes all tough.

[Josh Arnold]

Looked it up, and it looks. It looks exactly like every image of style.

[Chick McGee]

It is somewhat puffy.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, you can see it.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, absolutely.

[Ace Cosby]

You look like a drunk Billy Joel.

[Chick McGee]

There's Ace cosby. I'm Chick McGee at the orangeinsols.com sports desk.

[Josh Arnold]

I bought some warm compress things that go.

[Tom Griswold]

We'll go over.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, you gotta go warm. Cold, warm, cold, warm.

[Christy Lee]

I think he's right.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, okay.

[Chick McGee]

I think he's right. Don't. Don't pin me down.

[Tom Griswold]

I'd like to, because you do the disclaimer. All medical advice on the show is incorrect.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah, that's true.

[Christy Lee]

Sometimes you tell the truth, sometimes you don't. And I. You have a great.

[Chick McGee]

Remember this. I never tell the truth.

[Christy Lee]

Okay, don't do that.

[Chick McGee]

Am I lying now or not?

[Unknown Narrator/Guest]

Oh, man.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom Show, I think I have a raccoon in my attic.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom show, it just dawned on me.

[Tom Griswold]

That's it.

[Ace Cosby]

Is that the letter?

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

That leads me to this letter. Dear Chick, these are really making Tom upset.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob, it's how.

[Tom Griswold]

By the way, if you've got a raccoon in your attic, you know what that means, Christy?

[Christy Lee]

You've got raccoon poop and pee in your attic.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, you want to get that out of here?

[Josh Arnold]

Was raccoon.

[Tom Griswold]

No, no, no, no. There was a raccoon in the old part of the old building. There was a raccoon ceiling.

[Chick McGee]

Are we sure, Defendant, it was a raccoon.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, they had to get a guy to get out here.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, Trapper Jack. Remember,

[Tom Griswold]

you'd look up at those ceiling tiles and they'd be all orange.

[Chick McGee]

Now, this might start some conversation, this email from Steve. Dear Bob and Tom show, it just dawned on me. I've never seen a squirrel urinate. Nor have I. Steve Lives in Appleton, Wisconsin. You've seen dogs urinate.

[Christy Lee]

Do they squat like a dog?

[Tom Griswold]

They're so tired. Close to the ground.

[Josh Arnold]

Did the males lose one back leg?

[Chick McGee]

If they were taller, yeah. You could see.

[Tom Griswold]

That's why you never hear someone go, hey, squirrel dick, you know what? Oh, never seen one.

[Josh Arnold]

You know why?

[Christy Lee]

Why?

[Tom Griswold]

They're close to the ground. Okay, back to the more important yes thing, which is our discussion about Gunsmoke, the TV show I can't stand, and Festus was a member of the Sons of the Pioneers.

[Chick McGee]

Please stop teasing. Please tell me you have the Sons of the Pioneers.

[Tom Griswold]

I think I do. I think this is the actual Sons of the Pioneers.

[Chick McGee]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Remember this one?

[Unknown Narrator/Guest]

Sure.

[Tom Griswold]

That doesn't seem. Doesn't matter. It doesn't seem baritone enough. That sounds like a squirrel.

[Christy Lee]

Is this a remake of the hit?

[Tom Griswold]

No, this is the original.

[Christy Lee]

Really?

[Ace Cosby]

Sunriders.

[Christy Lee]

Originally Ghost Riders in the Sky.

[Tom Griswold]

Sons of the Pioneers.

[Chick McGee]

Festus wrote it.

[Tom Griswold]

He did not. But why is it.

[Christy Lee]

Where do you get the name Festus? Every time you say that, I think of Fester. It sounds horrible.

[Tom Griswold]

I think of Fetus. I find it really disturbing.

[Chick McGee]

I think of Fistula, which is caused by an ingrown hair.

[Tom Griswold]

Okay. In any event, the guy that. The guy that Ken Curtis was in that band had a lot of people, including Roy Rogers.

[Christy Lee]

Okay.

[Tom Griswold]

And Hal Smith.

[Josh Arnold]

Not the house Smith.

[Chick McGee]

No. You know.

[Tom Griswold]

Oh, you just embarrass yourself.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah. You know who Al Smith is?

[Tom Griswold]

You do know who Hal Smith is?

[Josh Arnold]

I do, yes.

[Tom Griswold]

He's one of the greatest characters in the history of television.

[Chick McGee]

Otis, the drunk from the. Andy. Otis.

[Josh Arnold]

That's why. I don't know.

[Tom Griswold]

You've never watched.

[Josh Arnold]

I've seen. You know what? Andy Griffith was a sick day show. It was okay. The only time I ever saw it was when I was sick. And okay, Price is Right was over.

[Tom Griswold]

Does that mean you don't want your new copy of Tags?

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, I do. I do.

[Tom Griswold]

The Andy Griffith show magazine.

[Josh Arnold]

It's right there behind kindling for the branches in my backyard that I'm burning in my.

[Tom Griswold]

I think that's disdainful.

[Chick McGee]

Dear Bob and Tom Show. Hey, Chick. We have four white squirrels in our neighborhood and they will only hang out with one another.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't know if I believe that.

[Chick McGee]

Thank you, Roger. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

I don't mean girls.

[Chick McGee]

I don't. Albino squirrels.

[Josh Arnold]

Maybe they do.

[Chick McGee]

Maybe. Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Maybe they know about the black squirrels.

[Josh Arnold]

I've never seen those up in Harbor Springs.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Josh Arnold]

Well, black in Missouri is primarily gray squirrels.

[Tom Griswold]

Hemingway. Hemingway writes about them.

[Chick McGee]

I don't think black squirrels are black.

[Tom Griswold]

Right. I don't think I've seen them. They sure look black to me.

[Ace Cosby]

Unless I don't see color.

[Christy Lee]

You don't see that?

[Tom Griswold]

I only see it. I only see it in personal relations.

[Josh Arnold]

And then it's really. It really highlights, doesn't it?

[Chick McGee]

You guys know anybody who's colorblind?

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah, my dad.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, he was.

[Tom Griswold]

He was absolutely Red, Green, or I was just colorblind.

[Chick McGee]

I don't know. Huh.

[Tom Griswold]

The great colorblind scene. What is. What's that movie where they're on the bus, they're going across the country and the graduate.

[Josh Arnold]

The trip to Bountiful.

[Tom Griswold]

No, the guy wants to be a pilot.

[Chick McGee]

Driving Miss Daisy.

[Tom Griswold]

The driving the van.

[Chick McGee]

Driving Miss Daisy, too. He drives a bus in that one.

[Josh Arnold]

Oh, that's right.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Tom Griswold]

Yeah. A Little Miss Sunshine. There's the great. That's a great.

[Chick McGee]

So your synopsis.

[Christy Lee]

They're in a bus.

[Chick McGee]

Let me get this straight. Your synopsis of Little Miss Sunshine is. They're driving across the country in a bus.

[Christy Lee]

Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Because the one Steve isn't. Steve Carell driving.

[Josh Arnold]

Yeah. They are in a van.

[Tom Griswold]

And the guy. That guy wants to be a pilot.

[Christy Lee]

Yeah, but the whole movie.

[Tom Griswold]

What is his name? Paul. Dana.

[Chick McGee]

Paul Dano.

[Josh Arnold]

Dano. Paul Dano wants to be a.

[Chick McGee]

Is it Daniel?

[Christy Lee]

It is.

[Chick McGee]

Yeah.

[Ace Cosby]

He's the first movie.

[Tom Griswold]

Great actor.

[Chick McGee]

Well, yeah. Not according to Quentin Tarantino.

[Josh Arnold]

Right. Right.

[Tom Griswold]

Well, I. He's wrong.

[Josh Arnold]

Tarantino is wrong.

[Ace Cosby]

He's wrong.

[Christopher]

That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes. Google play and Stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody.

[Unknown Narrator/Guest]

The Hammer alley podcast. An 80s flashback mockumentary.

[Tom Griswold]

Back in the 80s, there were a thousand bands trying to make it in the world of rock. But there was one band that had it all. Hammer Alley.

[Christy Lee]

Whatever happened to Hammer Alley?

[Unknown Narrator/Guest]

How did they go from Top of the Rock? I'm looking for a music video. They're a band from 1987. Hammer Alley. Ever heard of them? To rock bottom.

[Tom Griswold]

Dude, I was born in 1987.

[Christy Lee]

I can't believe he's doing this.

[Unknown Narrator/Guest]

Hammer Alley.

[Chris Van Vliet]

Follow and listen on your favorite platform.