B&T Extra: Heywood Banks & News We Failed to Mention

Summary

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Podcast Summary: B&T Extra: Heywood Banks & News We Failed to Mention

The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast
Date: November 20, 2025

Episode Overview

This BOB & TOM Extra episode brings together classic show elements: musical guest Heywood Banks, sharp comedic banter, and Jeff Oskay’s irreverent “News We Failed to Mention.” The episode flows through a blend of live music, humorous riffing, and offbeat headlines, all wrapped in BOB & TOM’s trademark playful camaraderie.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Heywood Banks Performs "Pumpkin Spice" Song

Timestamps: 02:27–04:35

• Heywood Banks delivers a whimsical song exploring the cultural obsession with pumpkin spice.
  • Lyrics lampoon everything from lattes to deodorant and shampoo:
    "Pumpkin spice. Pumpkin spice. A little in my latte would sure be nice. Keep it out of my shampoo. Can I give you some advice? Go easy on the pumpkin spice."
    — Heywood Banks (02:52)
  • The song swings through clever rhymes and punchlines, including an inventive list of things that do not need pumpkin spice, like pizza and—jokingly—personal hygiene products.
  • The energetic, comedic delivery sets the tone for the show’s extra content.

2. Jeff Oskay’s "News We Failed to Mention"

Timestamps: 05:03–09:51

• Jeff Oskay (as himself at the “failed dimension news desk”) delivers headline stories with a comically twisted “what you failed to mention” punchline.

  • Example:
    "Tom brought us in six packages of stale fig Newmans the other day. What you failed to mention—Jess Hooker took them and turned them into the best crumble I've ever tasted. Just like the old saying: when life gives you stale Newmans, make apple pear crumble."
    — Jeff Oskay (05:21)

  • He riffs on personal anecdotes, like his daughter’s sweet 16 party, and classic parenting worries:

    "The girls will be sleeping upstairs, the boys will be sleeping downstairs, and I will be sleeping on the stairs."
    — Jeff Oskay (05:54)

  • Oskay’s "choose your own punchline" routine with the $11,000 burger joke provides a loose, writers’ room feel, with the team joining in to punch-up his bits:

    "A restaurant is offering an $11,000 burger. What you failed to mention—it comes served with a side of used Honda Civic."
    — Jeff Oskay (07:20)

• Silly, sometimes crude material is tried out rapid-fire:

  • On a woman eating 10 sheets of paper a day:
    "What you failed to mention—she recently crapped out a copy of Twilight."
    — Jeff Oskay (09:00)
  • Other versions are hashed out in live banter, showing the collaborative dynamic.

• “Gator crashed a tiki bar” story ends with another trademark punchline:

  "Since it was Florida, within the hour the gator had been nicknamed Chomps and was singing 'Brown Eyed Girl' on karaoke with three bikini-clad chicks."
  — Jeff Oskay (09:13)

• Oskay’s segment closes out:
  "I'm Jeff Oskay. This was the news I wish I failed to mention." (09:46)

3. BOB & TOM Banter and Writing Room Vibes

Timestamps: Throughout

• Frequent playful interruptions and punch-up attempts highlight the show’s loose writers' room energy:
  • Crowd-sourced punchlines, collaborative riffing on each other’s jokes, and callbacks to previous bits.
  • Example on the paper-eating story:
    • "A woman eats all the papers. She doordashes from Staples."
      — Christopher (10:22)
    • "When she wants to order out, Staples delivers. I like it."
      — Jeff Oskay (10:30)

4. Heywood Banks - Skeletons Song (Live)

Timestamps: 14:31–16:51

• Heywood launches into a new comedic song:
  • Observational humor about skeletons and Halloween, with anatomical wordplay and reassurance—skeletons are nothing to be afraid of since "we all have one."

  • "Never spooked by a skull, a sternum or scapula, metacarpal clavicle. Never scared the crapula tibial radius..."
    — Heywood Banks (15:00)

  • Continues with jokes about using old skeletons as Halloween decorations, and candy-bowl gags.

5. Personal Stories & Side Riffs

Timestamps: 12:59–14:25; 16:53–18:50

• Heywood describes finding a "hot cheeto" under his car seat, only to discover it's an earplug:

  "Turned out to be an earplug. Still salty."
  — Heywood Banks (13:16)

• Observations on staying at a hotel full of Amish guests, helping them with electricity and elevators.

  • "I have to go around, turn on the lights for them, work the elevator."
    — Heywood Banks (13:34)

• Banter about massive skeleton decorations at home stores, neighbors' displays, and related Halloween anecdotes.

• Classic dad joke closer:

  "Why did the skeleton eat a steak? He wanted to put a little meat on his bones."
  — Jeff Oskay & Heywood Banks (18:45)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Pumpkin Spice Mania:
  "Go easy on the pumpkin spice. And though I like it in a candle, I don't mind it in my tea, I love it in pooch even though it's bad for me..." — Heywood Banks (02:58)

• Parenting Woes:
  "She better watch her attitude or she won’t see 17." — Jeff Oskay (05:47)

• Choose Your Own Punchline:
  "A restaurant is offering an $11,000 burger. What you failed to mention—it comes served with a side of used Honda Civic." — Jeff Oskay (07:20)

• On Eating Paper:
  "What you failed to mention—she recently crapped out a copy of Twilight." — Jeff Oskay (09:00)

• On Skeletons:
  "Without the service that skeletons do, we'd be just trash talking bags of goo." — Heywood Banks (14:46)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Pumpkin Spice Song: 02:27–04:35
• News We Failed to Mention: 05:03–09:51
• Collaborative joke riffs: 09:53–11:00
• Heywood Banks skeleton/live song: 14:31–16:51
• Halloween/Home Decor & Skeletons Talk: 17:12–18:50

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Tone & Style

• The show is informal, funny, and occasionally irreverent, with rapid-fire jokes, puns, and good-natured teasing.
• Heywood Banks’ musical segments blend comedy and observational humor, while Jeff Oskay’s news delivers punchlines that lean into wordplay and topical absurdity.
• The overall mood is friendly, improvisational, and in-the-moment.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a great showcase of BOB & TOM’s strengths: tight-knit comedic chemistry, a willingness to riff live, and the inclusion of unique musical comedy courtesy of Heywood Banks. If you enjoy fast-paced banter, dad jokes, and musical parody, this is a fun, representative slice of the show.

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End of Summary

Transcript

[Kevin Harlan]

This is Kevin Harlan and tomorrow the NBA on Prime crew and I are back with another exciting Emirates NBA cup doubleheader. First, Pascal Siakam and the Pacers square off against Donovan Mitchell and the Cleveland Cavaliers. Then it's Nikola Jokic and the Nuggets facing Kevin Durant and the Rockets. If you're not a Prime member, just sign up for a 30 day free trial. Pacers, Cavs, Nuggets, Rockets coverage starts tomorrow at 6:30pm Eastern only on Prime. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com Amazon Prime prime for details. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians. These are things people say about drivers who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds because Progressive offers discounts for paying in full, owning a home and more. Plus, you can count on their great customer service to help you when you need it. So your dollar goes a long way. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance, Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations.

[Christopher]

Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom Extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon we'll give you a little extra. In case you missed anything on the big show today, Haywood Banks news we failed to mention, it's on the way right after this.

[Kevin Harlan]

This is Kevin Harlan and tomorrow the NBA on Prime crew and I are back with another exciting Emirates NBA cup doubleheader. The night starts with Pascal Siakam and the Indiana Pacers meeting Donovan Mitchell and the Cleveland Cavaliers in a battle of familiar foes. Then it's off to Texas as Nikola Jokic and the Denver Nuggets take on Kevin Durant and the Houston Rockets for the first time this season. It all comes your way on prime and if you're not a Prime member, that's not a problem. Sign up for a free 30 day trial to get started today. The Pacers and Cavs. The Nuggets and Rockets coverage starts tomorrow at 6:30pm Eastern only on Prime. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com Amazon prime for details.

[Haywood Banks]

July's got the sunshine April has the showers January's got the snow May brings all the flowers November's got the turkey December's got Christ, sweet Jesus While October's got the pumpkin spice Pumpkin spice, pumpkin spice A little in my latte would sure be nice Keep it out of my shampoo Can I give you some advice? Go easy on the pumpkin spice and though I like it in a candle I don't Mind it in my tea, I love it in pooch Even though it's bad for me Throwing out of my gourd headed to rehab a better fort Drinking whiskey with the pumpkin spice Walla wala walla pumpkin spice yeah, pumpkin spice Put it in your Madam you so make your dookie smell nice don't.

[Jeff Oskay]

Put it in your douche Cause no.

[Haywood Banks]

One wants to smooch a cooch that smells like pumpkin pie Take it, Michael. Punk and spice Leave it out of my deodorant and my pizza slice for you freaks who wanna blomkin travel with a splash of pumpkin it's easy with the pumpkin spice oh the caves they've got spelunking LeBron's got the Dunkin' Cardi B's got the Junkin' James Brown Put the funkin top has got the pumpkin spice on the pumpkin spice.

[Christopher]

Oh, right. For those of you who always need.

[Haywood Banks]

Something extra, well, here you go.

[Christopher]

This is Bob and Tom Extra. Joining us in the studio, comedian Haywood Banks. The man and his guitar are right over here.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hi, Haywood.

[Haywood Banks]

Good morning.

[Christopher]

We're looking forward to hearing some music from Mr. Banks. But it's my understanding prior to that, we do have something coming into his via satellite.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh my.

[Christopher]

On the big screen over there. There we go.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hey, everybody, it's me, Je at the failed dimension news desk. Hi, Jeff, how are you?

[Christopher]

Good.

[Jeff Oskay]

We give you a lot of the news each week. We don't give you all the news. So I'm here to give you the news that we failed to mention.

[Christopher]

Here's Jeff Oskay with fail to mention news.

[Jeff Oskay]

Tom brought us in six packages of stale fig Newmans the other day.

[Christopher]

Yep, yep, he sure did.

[Jeff Oskay]

What you failed to mention. But then Jess Hooker took them and turned them into an the best crumble I've ever tasted. Just like the old saying, when life gives you stale Newmans, make apple pear crumble. Oh, yeah, that old adage.

[Christopher]

That is a bromide axiom nugget.

[Jeff Oskay]

It is my wonderful daughter's sweet 16th birthday today. What you failed to mention. She better watch her attitude or she won't see. 17. Aha. Okay, we're doing a boys and girls sleepover party tomorrow night at the lake house for her birthday party. The girls will be sleeping upstairs, the boys will be sleeping downstairs, and I will be sleeping on the stairs. We learned that men are more afraid of the dark. What you failed to mention. You would be too if you were the one responsible for checking out those strange noises in the middle of the night. A restaurant. Oh, this is. I. This is gonna be a choose your own punchline. I couldn't decide. They probably both stink, but I'll let you guys.

[Christopher]

Oh, good.

[Jeff Oskay]

A restaurant is offering an $11,000 burger. What? You failed to mention it comes served with a side of used Honda Civic.

[Kevin Harlan]

All right.

[Jeff Oskay]

Or the burger comes served on a bed of a high mileage Ford F150. All right, so act like you didn't hear that.

[Christopher]

Okay.

[Kevin Harlan]

All right.

[Jeff Oskay]

There's a new thousand dollar burger.

[Haywood Banks]

What?

[Jeff Oskay]

You failed to mention it comes served with a side of Honda Civic.

[Christopher]

You did the setup wrong. You said $1,000 burger. Oh, yeah, that'd come with, like, a moped.

[Jeff Oskay]

A restaurant is offering an $11,000 burger.

[Christopher]

There you go. That's it. We're doing it again. Yeah, now we got it.

[Kevin Harlan]

What?

[Jeff Oskay]

You failed to mention it comes served with a side of used Honda Civic.

[Christopher]

There it is. That's a pretty good price. What's the mileage on this?

[Haywood Banks]

I kind of like moped, though.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, here's another. Pick your own. Surgeons removed a large thermos from a man's backside. My gosh.

[Kevin Harlan]

What?

[Jeff Oskay]

You failed to mention. When this guy packs his lunch for work, he really packs his lunch. I like it.

[Haywood Banks]

Or.

[Jeff Oskay]

How else was he going to get that hot chowder up there? Oh, okay, we're going to go with the first.

[Christopher]

Can this be a new feature? Can we do choose it at least once every time? I'm loving sure.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, Tom, I asked if we had done the story. You said we hadn't. I did some research we had, so don't get mad when I do this, okay?

[Haywood Banks]

Okay.

[Christopher]

What's the story?

[Jeff Oskay]

A woman eats 10 sheets of paper a day. What? You failed to mention. I bet she is shredded. Okay, let's try this one then. Does that wipe itself on the way out?

[Christopher]

These are all good questions. I forgot the shorts.

[Jeff Oskay]

Here's the other choice. A woman eats 10 sheets of paper per day. What? You failed to mention. She's not allowed to drive because she's always three sheets to the wind. Well, I'm going to go neither.

[Christopher]

Yeah, maybe, maybe, maybe. If the. If the paper caused excessive flatulence.

[Jeff Oskay]

Okay, let's try one more. Okay. A woman eats 10 sheets of paper a day. What? You failed to mention. Have they tried reaming her out about it? Oh, how about this?

[Christopher]

Okay.

[Jeff Oskay]

A woman eats 10 sheets of paper a day. She recently crapped out a copy of Twilight. I like it. I would have went with New York Post, but hey, I like it. Yeah.

[Kevin Harlan]

Yeah.

[Jeff Oskay]

A Gator crashed a tiki bar in Florida. What? You failed to mention since it was Florida within the hour, the gator had been nicknamed Chomps and he was singing Brown Eyed Girl on karaoke with three bikini clad chicks. That's a fun image. And finally, if you love that image, you're gonna love this, Josh. Finally, good news. Last week, a man and his dog were reunited after the dog had gone missing over 10 years ago. Well, you failed to mention the bad news. The dog had passed away four years ago. I'm Jeff. Oskar. This with the news I wish I failed to mention.

[Haywood Banks]

Wow.

[Christopher]

Thank you very much, Jeff.

[Jeff Oskay]

What about this? A woman ate 10 sheets of paper a day. The next day she crapped out 10 of the grossest paper airplanes you've ever seen. No, I think there's something funny about paper airplanes shooting out of there. Out of there.

[Christopher]

That would be humorous. Maybe it's more of a visual. That'd be a cartoon. Very funny in a cartoon. They came out all folded.

[Jeff Oskay]

I didn't hear anybody else making it.

[Christopher]

A woman eats all the papers. She doordashes from Staples.

[Jeff Oskay]

Not bad.

[Christopher]

It's an office supplies. Not bad. Are they still in business?

[Jeff Oskay]

When she wants to order out, Staples delivers. I like it.

[Christopher]

Yeah, I.

[Jeff Oskay]

All right.

[Christopher]

There you go. Because my staples closed. Are they all closed? Are they folded.

[Jeff Oskay]

With the win?

[Christopher]

There you go. That wraps it up. That's why they have writing rooms.

[Jeff Oskay]

Very good.

[Christopher]

Yes. Someone will finally come up with something now. We couldn't get my new megaphone working. No, no, we got the old one. The old one is magnificent. And I don't know why you're not using it. It's too big, too gorgeous. It's perfect. Does this work? Okay. Okay.

[Haywood Banks]

There we go.

[Jeff Oskay]

Does this work? Okay.

[Kevin Harlan]

He can't hear it.

[Christopher]

There we go. There, that's it. Okay. Some say that might be why I wanted to have this.

[Jeff Oskay]

Why.

[Christopher]

This is one of my favorite songs. And. If this has the word fox in it, I'm leaving.

[Haywood Banks]

Oh, yeah.

[Christopher]

G. Yeah. That a great. Oh, that was great. And I've always wanted to get together. Jail. I like jail too. I just. I just. When I saw them last summer, I was hoping he'd whip out one of these for that song. He didn't. He didn't. Oh, yeah. But jail. The guy that sings this song is Haywood Banks, doppelganger. Yeah. The guy looks exactly like you. Oh, I'm totally serious. I'll. I'll do a comparison. I'll get a thing. I was at the concert. The guy behind Me. Tapped me in the shoulder and he goes, tom, is that Haywood Banks? You'll see. I'll show you.

[Jeff Oskay]

You'll see.

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

Yeah. How are you, Heywood?

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah, yeah. Good.

[Kevin Harlan]

Oh.

[Jeff Oskay]

All right. There you go.

[Christopher]

Okay. I wasn't gonna do this, but I will. I'll jump in. Here you go.

[Jeff Oskay]

How about.

[Christopher]

How about a little gel for. For that ass?

[Jeff Oskay]

Josh, this is Crank the Windows Down.

[Christopher]

These are my favorite lyrics.

[Jeff Oskay]

You go. Here we go. Here we go.

[Christopher]

You like this one?

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah, I like them all.

[Christopher]

Yeah, I know. Whatever happened to Collector Soul? But I love them.

[Kevin Harlan]

They're roundabout.

[Christopher]

Yeah, they're singing. Tom, be quiet. It only lasts eight. Okay, sorry. Ed Roland is the lead singer for Collective. Ed Roland. We'll get a picture of him for you.

[Haywood Banks]

Heywood.

[Christopher]

Heywood, what's happening in the world of your life?

[Haywood Banks]

Well, I cleaned out the car the other day. Oh, and I found a hot Cheeto. A hot Cheeto under the seat. Bonus. Hello. Turned out to be a earplug. Oh.

[Jeff Oskay]

Hey. Whoa.

[Christopher]

Nice. Still.

[Jeff Oskay]

Still.

[Haywood Banks]

Still salty.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes, I met.

[Haywood Banks]

It was lovely, though.

[Christopher]

Chewy. Okay. Now, are you plugged in over there? Can we go?

[Haywood Banks]

I'm saying that the hotel. I'm saying there's a whole bunch of Amish people at the hotel. Oh. I'm staying with. Yeah.

[Christopher]

Really?

[Haywood Banks]

It's amazing.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Haywood Banks]

I have to go around, turn on the lights for them. Work the elevator. Yeah.

[Christopher]

I think they would take the stairs. Stay. Just stand there waiting for someone to come by.

[Haywood Banks]

They're just standing by the elevator.

[Christopher]

What do we do next now? What are we gonna hear? Okay, well, is it plugged in? I can't tell. Okay. There we go. Okay.

[Haywood Banks]

You know, playing a song on here is. Is like delivering a premature baby.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yeah.

[Haywood Banks]

You know, meaning it's never. It's not ready to pop.

[Kevin Harlan]

You know what I'm saying?

[Haywood Banks]

But. But we'll see. You know, it's. It's always, you know, we'll see.

[Christopher]

Are. Are you ready? What we have? This is called baited breath.

[Haywood Banks]

Okay. Okay.

[Christopher]

Here we go.

[Haywood Banks]

Well, I never been scared by skeleton bones oh, the skeletons oh, the skeletons Got a similar set right under my clothes oh, the skeleton bones. Without the service that skeletons do oh, the skeletons oh, the skeletons we'd be just trash talking bags of goo oh, the skeleton bones Never spooked by a skull A sternum or scapula Metacarpoclavicle Never saved the crapula tibial radius Never made me cray cray Never ran away from a vertebrae oh, skeleton bone. And Halloween skeletons dance and jostle oh, the skeletons oh, the skeletons bones Recycled plastic bottles oh, the skeletons bones Elves only skeletons that are truly evil oh, the skeletons oh, the skeletons Skeletons that are currently covered with people oh, the skeleton bone Never spooked by a skull A sternum or scapula metacarpal clavicle Never scared the crapula tibial radius Never made me cray cray Never ran away from a vertebrae. Neighbor Shoveling out his crawlspace.

[Jeff Oskay]

Older skeletons.

[Haywood Banks]

Found the perfect thing for Halloween to decorate older skeleton bones Candy bowl in its bowling bony grip o the skeletons Older skeletons Porchlight shining off titanium hip bone skeleton bowls a never spooked by a skull sternum or scapula metacarpal type radius Never made me cray cray Never ran away from a vertebrae skeleton oh, the skeleton oh, the skeleton bones yeah, there we go.

[Christopher]

The dancer skeleton.

[Haywood Banks]

Closer. That was closer.

[Christopher]

Perhaps almost. Perhaps we've outlived the live and performance of perhaps something recorded. I like the live. Ah, well, that was good.

[Jeff Oskay]

Were you ever afraid of a skeleton? Like, you know, terrified. Jason and the argon knots type thing?

[Christopher]

Terrifying. Really?

[Haywood Banks]

Yeah.

[Christopher]

There was Pirates of the Caribbean when they all come out. No, no. When I was a little boy, there was something that had dancing skeletons, just. Oh, I know what you're talking. Some sort of very rudimentary cartoon.

[Jeff Oskay]

That thing's kind of famous.

[Christopher]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that. Yeah. And you know, like one of the big box hardware stores, they're selling 12 foot, 15 foot tall skeletons. Yeah, My neighbors have one. Yeah. There's a couple variations. There's the one that's half buried.

[Jeff Oskay]

Oh, yeah. Kind of coming out.

[Christopher]

And then there's. There's one that's got to be 25ft. This lad went on social media and she ordered like 15 of them. And they had to have a semi truck deliver the skeletons. They're so giant, it's unbelievable. My front door, probably by Monday. I have a whole array of skeletons. Mike, my handyman, is building a trellis and the skeletons will be surrounding my front door.

[Haywood Banks]

Wow, a skeleton.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes.

[Christopher]

I need a new garage door opener and I'm waiting on Mike because. I'm sorry, he's busy building you a trellis. Yes, among other things. Mike, you'd like him. Hey. What? He grows really good tomatoes, just like you. And some. He has got a hole. He has a thing where he hangs his cucumbers, makes them grow bigger and longer. We can talk about it later. It's pretty exciting. Christy, the best thing you can do is get as far away from this shows personally as you can. Okay.

[Haywood Banks]

I was gonna get a. I was gonna get a giant Frankenstein, but it said some appeal assembly requirements, naturally.

[Jeff Oskay]

Yes, yes. Hey, do you know why the skeleton ate a steak?

[Haywood Banks]

No, why?

[Jeff Oskay]

He wanted to put a little meat on his bones.

[Haywood Banks]

Thank you very much.

[Christopher]

You wrapped it all up. That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play and Stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody. It's okay not to be perfect with finances. Experian is your big financial friend and here to help.

[Kevin Harlan]

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[Christopher]

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[Kevin Harlan]

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[Christopher]

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[Jeff Oskay]

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