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The BOB & TOM Show Free Podcast
B&T Extra: Letters from Iowa Tom in the Wild Dangerous Sex positions
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Are you someone who tries to drive while distracted by your phone? Someone who props it on the steering wheel or peeks down at it for a glance? Or just scrolls and scrolls? If so, you could be the next person to get into a fender bender, get a ticket, veer off the road, or even cause a crash that kills you or someone else? Enough already. Put the phone away or pay. Paid for by NHTSA McDonald's meets the Minecraft universe with one of six collectibles and your choice of a Big Mac or 10 piece McNuggets with spicy nether Flame sauce. Now available with a Minecraft movie meal at participating McDonald's for a limited time. A Minecraft movie only in theaters. Welcome back. It's another Bob and Tom extra. This is Christopher. Not only is the Bob and Tom show live every weekday morning, but every afternoon we'll give you a little extra in case you missed anything. Coming up in just a few minutes. Letters from Iowa + Tom and the watch and dangerous sex positions. It's on the way in just a minute. Are you someone who tries to drive all distracted by your phone? Someone who props it on the steering wheel or peeks down at it for a glance? Or just scrolls and scrolls? If so, you could be the next person to get into a fender bender, get a ticket, veer off the road, or even cause a crash that kills you or someone else? Enough already. Put the phone away or pay. Paid for by NHTSA A happy song It's a world of buns It's a world of boobs It's a world of firm perfect babes and dudes it's for you, for me it's on cable TV It's a porn world after all. They show breasts now in almost all the flicks but the women are mad cause they don't show men from the day you are born you're bombarded with porn It's a porn world after all everybody It's a porn world after all It's a porn world after all It's a porn world after all the porn porn world There's a lot of strange ways to make a buck but those porno stars they get paid too much they would sit on the face of the whole human race It's a porn world. The Bob and Tom show is still trying to wake up. In the meantime, more Bob and Tom Extra. Got some letters we need to get to and here's Tom handing out last minute directions. No, I was telling Marcus. Coffee's in the other room. I picked up some. Never mind the last Thing on your mind when you're in here is the radio show. I have trouble focusing. Why? Go ahead. A couple quick things. First of all, Ms. Hooker sitting in for Christy Lee today, and Jess was not in Iowa with us over the weekend. We had big fun. And I had explained to people one of the fundamental principles of gambling, which is if you buy the charity T shirt, you will win at the casino. Right. And if you don't and you lose, don't come crying to me. Right. Okay. Because we had a nice T shirt we put together in honor of our trip there, and I have not heard the number yet. I guess we sold a bunch of them and we're giving the money to the great hospital there. The Stead Family Children's Hospital. Yeah, the Stead Family Children's Hospital. And they're part of that great Children's miracle network. I got this nice letter here proving me right as usual. This is from Corey. I went to your live show. I had a great time. I took Tom's advice. I bought the Children's Hospital T shirt and then went out and won $75 at the casino. Whoa. Told ya. Hell yeah. Wow. Bingo. There may be some counter letters. We don't need to read those. I'm not gonna read those. I loved the shirtless girl segment that you guys did with Angela. She did a great job. Oh, yeah. Her voice matched perfect. I thought. Yeah, sounded great. And then she brought her farmer boyfriend to the show that night. He came. Oh, yeah. I didn't get to meet that gentleman. Yeah, sounded like Sam Elliott. Right? She was right. He was a. A very serious. He's a serious man. He's a farmer. And he looked like he could kill me with his. What do you mean? There are fun farmers. No, I know, but I mean, he was just a serious, strong, strapping, you know, that kind of guy. The last guy you said that about was like 6ft tall. 180. And he goes, looks like you could lift a house. But of course, what are you right now? 5, 11, 1, 125, 130. I am 6ft tall. You've always been 6ft tall. I just had my physical and the lady goes, oh, you're exactly six feet tall. Whatever you say, Mr. Burns. Okay. Did you have any more letters over there? I have plenty of them. Do I? Oh, captains of the airwaves. And Jess, my wife and I had a great time at Riverside. The sold out crowd. The morning show was off the rails, as expected. The night of comedy was killer. Everyone was on fire. And Tom Did a great job of emceeing when he wasn't fixated on reefer. Is that true? Were you asking a lot about reefer? Were you asking a lot about dope? I definitely heard a couple references. I was setting up a different joke, but, yeah, I wanted to know if reefer was legal there. Yeah, no, yeah, it's not. But you sure smell it, so. Yeah, well, that's. I was gonna say they can't outlaw odors. Okay. They'll never take that. Can't arrest you for smelling it. I was actually talking to a cop friend of mine recently about this. And if you live in a state where reefer is illegal and you're next to a state where it isn't, the police realize they know what's up. They know what's going on. He goes, we don't really care. Right. But yeah, they know what's happening. And once again, this is my favorite thing. Unlike Tom, I have not read this letter. That's the way I like to do it. Let's find out together what they say. They continue on, by the way, I just. Real quick. It is comical to me when you've got a state where fireworks are illegal and marijuana is illegal, and then when you cross the border, there are competing signs for the pot and the fireworks. So it's always a good idea to get really stoned and then start blowing stuff up. What? You know what I'm saying? Whatever you're into, I'm kidding. Don't go. They were very happy with the show. Even Tom, he was fixated on the reefer. The biggest thing for happen that happened to me, Stephen said, Thursday night, we're at Ruthie Steakhouse. My wife and I decided to stay overnight so we could get up early on Friday and decided a nice post Valentine's Day dinner was in order. We were seated as Christy and Andy were enjoying their dessert. That's right, my wife next to Christy, she liked her hair. As we were enjoying cocktails, in walked Tom and Pat. They were seated towards the center of the restaurant. Both of them greeted by the manager and given menus. As Tom was looking at the menu, yes, he did look at the menu. He glanced up and saw me. I slightly nodded my head. He did the same to me. And at that moment, I realized I had entered the rarefied world of Tom. Tom in the wild, a chill went through me. He said, thanks, Tom. I did really not order off the menu. I eventually just asked her what to get and hope your drives went well. They did. Thanks for your support for The Stead family Children's Hospital. So thank you very much, Stephen. Now you got a letter over there. Well, how was that last one addressed the. The beginning of that? Captains of the Airways. Captains of the Airways. Oh, Captains of the Airways. As opposed to I'm gonna hit you Charlie Door. A lot of layered vocals. You know what we can do? We can record our voice many times over, over and over and then it just craps the bed. Yeah. It starts out so cool and then start screaming and then it goes into some a Maria voice thing. I really thought that the beginning of that was something that Tom produced and it was going to go into horns. Oh, actually that would been cool. Okay. But I. I did kind of like that song. But that was one of those. That was one of those DJ favorites. Cuz the disc jockeys, they love songs about the radio and just songs saying how cool this jockeys are. That would explain we built this city because they have a radio break. Hey, good boy. This is a big, big sound. Yeah, right in the middle of it. Remember that? Yep. That's very nice. Although I. I know that is has been repeatedly voted the worst song in the history of Boy, how many times can you dismiss me? Dear fellows and lady, Both of my daughters attend school at a place called Tipton, Indiana. My oldest is in seventh grade. Had a basketball game Wednesday night. The opponent was from Logan Sport, Indiana. Their jerseys wore by the Logan Sport team. Just said Logan on the front for the next two hours. I heard chick in my head saying Logan in his Wolverine voice. I started to say it out loud every time they would shoot my the ball. And needless to say, my wife and most everyone around me were tired of it almost immediately. I didn't care. I kept going. Yes, Logan, what is it now? I have to make a boom boom. Professor, you just went carry me. Which movie is this? Is that actually from a movie? It's called Logan and it is an X Men movie. But it's a weird. It's a great. It's a boom boom partner. You guys making that up? No, but Wolverine does have to carry Professor X around. Professor X does. Does call Wolverine for some reason. Logan all the time. Which. Yeah. Which is in all the movies, I think. Yeah. Yeah, I see. Hey Tom, this is from Michael, right? You go out in the parking lot on Friday morning without a jacket to take a pee. Is that what you were doing? Oh no, but that would be certainly valid. But it was so cold it would have frozen before. Weren't you loading your car up like in the middle of the broadcast or something? Yeah, the afternoon or something. Weren't you doing that? I saw you in the hallway with your shirts to the car with your little plastic cat. He has this plastic. Well, you know, he has a plastic Caddy he takes with all of his equipment your. Your band Aids and your. Your stir sticks and your sweetener. Oh, your face straps, your oils. What else is in there? Can you remember what else is in your plastic caddy that you take the kind of pens you can sign stuff with? You mean Sharpies? No, we use these. Paint pens and oil. Yeah. They were ineffective. Were they? Yeah. Oh, they look good. They were great. They were absolutely. I couldn't work mine. He couldn't work his. Again, Pat, it takes an adult, so that's a chicken. That's a jigsaw. He kept going. This pen's out of. This pen's out of paint. And he handed to me, and I'd use it for the next hours. You have to shake them and then press the tip. Shake them? Yeah. That's what confused you, Pressing the tip in. Speaking of which, I have a gash. Yes. In my hand. Well, I couldn't figure it out. Now, now, Josh, if you would. Would you get up and look at the gash? It's a gash you can see that Tom has on his head. Okay. Yeah. It looks like a knuckle scrape. And I had to. It looks a scrape. It's got. No, it's got three coats of. From our travels. No, Right after I. But I finally figured out how I did it. But no, it's. It's crazy. Glued shut because it wouldn't stop bleeding. Oh, wow. I went to a movie with the girls when we got back, and I went to the bathroom, took a pee. I came out, and my hand was bleeding. Huh. Really bad. Something sharp in your pants? You have a real dry penis. Then I realized. Did you scrape it on your penis? Answer. Bad. It may be called a prick, but it's not sharp. Is it that dry? No, but I figure out what it was. I was wearing the wrong kind of underwear. Oh, you put on your. Well, that certainly does explain it. No, this. This will make sense in a second. All right. I ordinarily kind with knives. I ordered. Ordinarily wear briefs, but I got those boxer briefs for when I go to the gym. Okay. Because otherwise things can, you know, flop and such. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I had the wrong ones on because we'd been. I'd been gone, and I grabbed them in my haste to pack, and I realized what Happened is I'd reached down to make the proper adjustments to get things out and. And the zipper. When I pulled my hand out, the zipper put this huge gash in my. So, yeah, I got it all crazy glued now. So we'll see. Okay. But I'm sure many a gash has been caused by an undone zipper, if you will. Or at least. Jess, how do you feel? At least violated. I have a knuckle gash too. From a microplane. Just some cooking. Yes. Right out the top. See that? All those hurt. Right. I've got a real quick story. You've worked in a restaurant, of course. Yeah. As have I. Pat, you worked in a restaurant, right? You were a one day. Yeah. You would never survive one day. That doesn't sound. I was at TGI Fridays when I broke. I just got done waiting on somebody and there are more people here. What's going on? As you know, at a restaurant if you cut yourself, you have to put a. What looks like a junior sized condom, say on your finger. Yes. Yeah. And aren't they called finger condom? That's what we call them. Yeah. Aren't they called finger cocks? Oh, are they really? No. Maybe that was just the slang at the word where I was working. But yeah, those areas, that's what they call. No, I was a dishwasher for one year. A year? Yeah. A whole year. Okay. All right, well, so. So we. One night at the restaurant, we had one table we called the Monster and the Monster because it sat 12 people. So that was a nightmare for the server. So one time, one evening at the Monster, they bring the salads out and some lady pull a bloody band aid out of herself. Oh, no. Screams. That's a free meal at the top of her lungs. Did you. Were you the cause of the band? No, no, I actually. Can I know exactly who it was. I'm not going to say his name. Why not? Dead down. And it happened 30 years ago and he could be dead. Yeah. Oh, this guy's. You know something? He's such an idiot. He probably is. It was bleeding knuckles. Bribery. Always. I'll tell you what. He did one. I took him to the hospital. Different time. I'm not kidding. He took a blender. He didn't want to chop an onion, so he decided he could hold an onion on top of the blender like this. You know, put it down into the. Yeah, turn it on. He had a. Can you imagine the pain shredding both the fingertips and an onion at the same time? That absolutely sounds like something, Pat. Godwin Absolutely. That's why I don't cook. Yeah. This guy was such an idiot. Anyway, if you want to. Just does all my meals. How do you get ahold of us on this email thing? Josh, Bob and tom@bobandsom.com. and here's another letter. Ready? Hello, radio legends. I've been listening to Tom describe his problems that he had at the Iowa Hotel. Would you care to go over them real quick? He couldn't get the blind shut. All the curtains. Curtains were broken. Well, apparently the curtains were electric. Right. Mine were not. I couldn't find the switch. It was a great hotel, by the way. Yeah, Great room. But I also had no trouble closing my. Well, then I had a. There's one of those things with a stick on it. And you pulled the stick and that the stick was broken. Yeah, I didn't have a stick, but I just pull the curtain. You weren't able to do that? Just pull. I couldn't get it to move it because it was kind of a. Pull it. In any event, I just. Don't you jump in. Free show. Right. Oh, okay. Because. Floor. Were you on five? Yeah, the. The shower was really cool. It was really big and it was glass on two sides. Oh, so. So if you wanted to, you could. You could see the shower from the bed. Yeah. So you could lie in bed and watch your mate shower. I was by myself, so it wasn't really fun. You're with me. Why are you lying? Very, very hot. Yeah, I had Pat come up to watch me shower. Let me tell you something. I enjoyed it. I would pay $10,000 to watch that. And I'd laugh for a week and a half. Dear. I've been listening to Tom describe his problems at the Iowa Hotel. I'm seeing the episode of The Simpsons where Mr. Burns has to sell the nuclear plant and move in with Mr. Smithers. Smithers still works at the plant and leaves Mr. Burns alone. Mr. Burns wanders around confused by the modern world and something as simple as going to the grocery store and buying cereal. So many choices. Well, that's right. He doesn't know whether to get ketchup or cats up. He's too weak to open a slice of cheese wrapped in plastic. Tom, of course, too weak to open a bar of soap without a cutting tool in the shower is impossible. You went over that? It was not. Now, let me explain. I got in the shower. Yeah. As I did. And then the shower was on. I'm wet. I was. And then I look. Oh, the soap's wrapped in plastic well, my fingers. My fingers are all. Grabbed the soap, opened it up. Very easy. Use the soap. Yeah. So I got out of the shower, took a nail clipper and clipped a little thing on it. And then thus was able to open it. When you unpack, you don't undo your soaps and put your washcloths in the shower. I will from now on. A lesson learned. Yeah. I do it. Yeah. Dog hacks. Yeah. You prepare. We had a news story involving dangerous sexual positions. Oh. This was from a study done by physicians that had treated including the most dangerous. Yeah. Can I guess? Yeah, go ahead. You might not know the name of it. You got this? I don't know. I could whisper it in your ear. Whisper it. What is it? Stay away, Pat. This is behind. There are injuries that happen. You know something? You're right. This is from a study in the International Journal of Impotence Research. By the way, you know how they answer the phone? Hello? Impotent researchers. That's got to be a drag when you know the magazine arrives with a brown envelope. What is it? Oh, it's my new Impotence Weekly. Hello? Hello. Limp D hotline. You too, doctor. Dr. Richard Limp. Doggy style accounts for 41 of penile fracture cases. Okay, I do have a question. Is doggy style only if she's on all fours or can you both be standing in that? Be doggy style, too, so long as she's been over in front of you. Okay, that's doggy style. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just traditional is all for. But the letter references a couple of the ones that were on this list. One of them, once again, this is from an analysis of this from the Men's Health magazine. One of them is called and forgive me, Ms. Hooker, I know you are a fine cook. One position is called the eager chef. The eager chef. Yeah. We had no idea what this was. Yeah. I don't want to go into the details, but she's up on a table and he's on his tiptoes. Yeah, yeah. Explaining. She's on a table. Yeah. Is he eating? He's not. No. He's up on his tiptoe. That's a very fair assumption, though it says that explains either. But it does say the injury caused by the potential height of the table. Balance can be lost, people fall and nearby objects knocked around. Possibly, but that's not number one. Why are you doing all these? Because that's the one that's mentioned in this letter. This letter comes to us from Aaron, the guy that's Supplying. What about reverse cowgirl? No, no, check this. Remember this? This is. We're still in the setup phase here. Yeah, yeah. This goes on forever, right? Don't jump the gun now. We have a long way to go. Yeah. Again, number one. I have time to go out and get my gun in the car. I began with number one, which was doggy style. That can't be number one. It is number. Look, this is a scientific study. You can't deny science. What do you think you are? You denied. Well, Mike, you can't deny science. Who do you think you are, Robert Kennedy Jr. There's a chance that they're considering reverse cowgirl part of doggy style. Since it is. Who knows? Who knows? Yeah. No, that's later on. That's number four. Okay. Christ. Read the email. I tried. First of all, I like the new nickname. Thank you, Josh. You can refer to me as Chrysler. Don't make that. That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play and stitcher. For Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody. NBA veteran Jim Jackson takes you on the court. You get a chance to dig into my 14 year career in the NBA and also get the input from the people that will be joining. Charles Barkley. I'm excited to be on your podcast, man. It's an honor, Spike. Lead entrepreneur, filmmaker, Academy award winner, Nixon. Now you see, I got you. But also how sports, brings life, passion, music, all of this together. The Jim Jackson show, part of the Rich Eisen Podcast network. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.