Chris (2:08)

Sure is.

Frank Caliendo (2:08)

Frank the Voice Impersonator School of America. Just listen to what this graduate has to say.

Frank Caliendo's Graduate (2:14)

I never was no good at doing impersonations until I went to Frank's school. But now, well, check this out. Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? You must be talking to me because I'm Robert De Niro in that one movie where I drive a cat talking to me. That was Robert De Niro. Pretty good, right? This school is a great investment and there's no risk if you don't pass each voice with a B or Better you get your money back. So far, Frank hasn't had to refund a single.

Frank Caliendo (2:44)

Sure. Damn right.

Frank Caliendo's Graduate (2:46)

Heck, I'm thinking about getting my master's degree. Or as the Terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger would say, I will be back.

Frank Caliendo (2:53)

That's an A plus, my friend.

Frank Caliendo (2:57)

Don't delay. Classes are filling up fast. You can learn all 1000 voices from the man of A Thousand voices for just $20,000. That's only $20 per voice. Let's listen in on a classroom as Frank shares his gift with students.

Frank Caliendo (3:12)

Okay, remember, the voice is deep and gravelly in the back of your throat. You are Al Pacino. Repeat after me. Hooah. Wow. That was amazing. Every single one of you gets an A. Okay, al Pacino was 628. Number 629. Repeat after me. All righty, Frank. You tell your mom and dad I said hello. All right, Frank.

Chris (3:46)

Excuse me, Professor Caliendo?

Bob (3:48)

Yes?

Frank Caliendo (3:48)

You have a question? Who was that supposed to be? That's Dennis, the guy who worked at the corner store in my neighborhood as a kid. Nice guy. A plus a doll around number 630 is a good one. Ted Knight. Try this, Spalding. I want you on the golf course in five minutes.

Bob (4:05)

Chop, chop.

Frank Caliendo (4:11)

Great. A for everyone. Now, number six. 31. Ted Knight's laugh.

Chris (4:23)

Wait, those count as two?

Christy (4:25)

Yes, yes.

Frank Caliendo (4:26)

Ted Knight is one. And Ted Knight's laugh is two. Maybe you should have signed up for math class, not voice impressions class. This is Morgan Freeman as portrayed by my good friend Frank Caliendo. If I were really here, I'd tell you Frank's school is completely legit, and I encourage everyone to enroll immediately. Tell them Morgan Freeman sent ya.

Christopher (4:51)

Morgan Freeman and all other celebrity voices are fake impersonations by celebrity voice impersonator Frank Caliento, who claims he's also a celebrity.

Frank Caliendo (4:58)

Hey, I am a celebrity voice impersonator. School of America. Call now to enroll before any lawyers get wind of this.

Frank Caliendo (5:06)

So call that number on your screen. There's about probably no number on the screen because it's radio. I mean, make up a number, dial it. It'll probably be me.

Tom (5:14)

444.

Frank Caliendo (5:15)

Boom.

Christopher (5:17)

We know what you need.

Chris (5:18)

Here's another healthy dose of Bob and Tom. Extra. I read a letter earlier from Tom and I.

Bob (5:27)

What a dumb name.

Chris (5:28)

I forgot to. Forgot to mention where he was from. Pat, pay close attention. He was writing to say that he got his wife one of those great aura frames, picture frames that we have. You know, this is. That really is one of the coolest Things we've ever told people about. In any event, he says he got it for his wife for Valentine's Day. Big plus. No need to go into the details on that, but he lives in Beaufort, Georgia. Oh, you know what? Buford, Georgia is right next to what coming Georgia.

Bob (5:57)

Yes, and it's spelled correctly, if you

Frank Caliendo (5:59)

will,

Chris (6:02)

which was in the news a while back. Pat, is that something you're prepared to play for us or do you need a little bit of warning?

Pat (6:09)

A little bit of time?

Chris (6:09)

Yeah. Okay. Will you take your time? We'll get back to it.

Bob (6:11)

We have a emails from our listeners. Dear Bob and Tom show listening to you this morning as we drive to North Carolina to move our little brother back home from being in the Marines for the last four years. Wow. There you go. Thanks for a great show. And this is. I. I can't figure this out, but I'm just going to read it as written. Josh, please never leave us. We love you. That's Aaron.

Christy (6:38)

Well, it's very sweet, Aaron. Thank you. And thank you to your little brother. Man, oh, man.

Bob (6:41)

Maybe they were talking about you missed a week with your. With your hymen surgery.

Christy (6:46)

Yes. Yeah.

Chris (6:47)

Hymen replacements.

Bob (6:48)

I'm sorry.

Christy (6:48)

Yeah, it's back intact and better than ever.

Chris (6:51)

Rectal hymens.

Bob (6:52)

By the way, we gotta cleverly I

Christy (6:53)

have to get a softer bike seat.

Bob (6:55)

Yeah, now you can horseback ride.

Chris (6:58)

This comes to us from Tim. More Tom speak.

Christy (7:01)

Oh, good.

Chris (7:02)

We were in Seattle planning our day when I asked where we were going. I told my kids we're going to the fish museum.

Frank Caliendo (7:10)

Of course.

Chris (7:11)

I metaquarium while visiting from Vicksburg.

Christy (7:16)

Speaking of fish, we talked a lot about anchovies yesterday and whether or not we'd ever had them on pizza, if we like them in Caesar salads, et cetera, et cetera. Laura from Leland, North Carolina, wants to know if we've ever tried a popular pizza with clams casino. Apparently it's popular in like Connecticut and stuff.

Tom (7:38)

What's clams casino? I'm not familiar.

Bob (7:41)

Isn't that I've always.

Christy (7:42)

I've heard it.

Pat (7:42)

Bacon.

Tom (7:43)

I've heard it too, but I think they're, they're.

Chris (7:45)

They may be spoiled. So you're gambling if you eat them.

Christy (7:51)

But I, I have had clams on pizza before. Have you guys? No, but I have not. I don't know that it was considered clams casino or not, so. Because it was just like a regular pizza. But it had some clams. Like, I just remember the marinara and the clams and none of Us were thrilled by it.

Tom (8:06)

You were? Clams casino, apparently, is bacon, right? Clams topped with a mixture of bacon, breadcrumbs, garlic, peppers.

Bob (8:13)

Off Red Bell, got your pan.

Tom (8:15)

Cod, butter, and herbs. Baked or broiled until crispy.

Christy (8:18)

Okay, that sounds pretty good.

Tom (8:19)

Does sound pretty good.

Chris (8:20)

Got this letter involving yesterday's dress code. You may recall that was our dress code.

Christy (8:26)

Oh, real quick, Laura. No, we hadn't tried it.

Tom (8:28)

Thank you, Laura.

Chris (8:30)

Patty G. Yesterday, we have the audio from his shirt. Pat wore his kind of tablecloth check shirt and got quite a bit of grief for it. The Dear Bob and Tom show. I enjoyed your foray into the Morning Y' all show.

Bob (8:49)

Oh, yeah.

Chris (8:50)

I loved your great cowgirl boots, Christie.

Tom (8:52)

Oh, thank you.

Bob (8:53)

Never miss Morning, y'. All.

Chris (8:55)

And Pat with the John Denver look. I know you'll never wear that shirt again after all the crap they gave you. Please sign it and shoot. Shoot it out of a T shirt cannon at your next live show.

Pat (9:05)

That's not a bad idea.

Chris (9:06)

I would love to get a T shirt cannon. What would you do with it next time we do a live show? Shoot T shirts on. Although there's probably potential liability, I would think.

Christy (9:16)

Yeah, probably.

Chris (9:17)

You know, someone catches it in the eye, and the next thing you know, you're. You're. You're in court.

Bob (9:21)

I was giving away CDs when the world was young, quite a while ago. And I'm. I was throwing them on the stage, and I was flipping them like Frisbees and hit a guy in the side right under his ear, and the blood just started to trickle right down his face.

Chris (9:37)

Yeah. Somebody's getting sued for a guitar pick.

Bob (9:40)

I wouldn't die.

Tom (9:41)

A guitar pick?

Bob (9:42)

Yeah.

Tom (9:42)

How would that hurt?

Chris (9:43)

I'll have to do it.

Pat (9:44)

Oh, definitely.

Tom (9:45)

Really?

Pat (9:45)

Look at this.

Bob (9:46)

Oh, it shows that you'll get caught.

Pat (9:48)

Touch yourself. Kiss it.

Christy (9:51)

Christy, you were asking about your owl box.

Tom (9:55)

Yes.

Christy (9:55)

You have one of those? I have an owl box attached to a tree. Is it?

Tom (9:58)

I do, yeah.

Christy (9:58)

And you're wondering how you can get owls in there?

Tom (10:00)

Yes.

Christy (10:01)

We have a letter saying, have you tried putting Toots Pops in the elbow?

Bob (10:07)

Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center?

Christy (10:11)

Let's find out. A one, a two, a three.

Tom (10:17)

I have another. This is from Brian. He doesn't say where he's from. There's a picture included with this, but I don't know if you want to show it. Jason. Christy, you're talking about birds flying into her window. Yeah. I have, you know, a couple of Kamikaze birds that have passed. Well, at least it wasn't a turkey. This turkey flew into the side of my house and died. And there's a picture of the poor turkey.

Christy (10:38)

Did it happen maybe the third week of November?

Bob (10:41)

The picture of the turkey looks like a homeless bum in a pile of dirty clothes is what it looks like. It's amazing.

Christy (10:49)

It just died.

Bob (10:49)

It just died.

Tom (10:51)

Poor little thing.

Frank Caliendo (10:52)

I don't.

Christy (10:53)

Go ahead and try to prepare it.

Bob (10:55)

Yeah. Happy Thanksgiving. Can you. If you.

Tom (10:57)

Can you eat that?

Bob (10:58)

You were driving down the road, you see deer or turkey. Can you throw that in the back and go cook it?

Chris (11:03)

We just had that story. Yeah, it depends what state you're in, right?

Christy (11:07)

In this case, it's your own backyard. I mean, you got to figure out how to pluck it and everything.

Tom (11:11)

Okay, so yesterday I happened to be at Aldi, my favorite store. I'm not gonna lie. And they had sun catchers for, like, five bucks. Two of them for five bucks.

Chris (11:20)

What is that?

Tom (11:20)

They're like things that hang down and they catch the sun so they sparkle and stuff. So I bought four and hung them on my windows. So let's see if that works.

Chris (11:28)

Oh, the reflection keeps the birds while. Very good. Now, this comes to us from northeastern Ohio. You guys were talking about being able to hear over. I see radios through appliances because where I used to live, I could hear an AM radio station coming through my toaster because it wasn't too far from the broadcast tower right here on this property. I can hear voices coming out of my fan.

Bob (11:59)

The best thing to do is just say, huh. Okay, that's interesting.

Chris (12:02)

I have asked other people if they've experienced this. They look at me like I'm crazy.

Bob (12:08)

Who's the first person that did that with the fan?

Chris (12:10)

The.

Bob (12:11)

Luke. I am your father, you know, so funny with the. Oh, yeah, yeah. Stand behind the fan.

Chris (12:15)

This guy's fan has turned into a radio. He must be near something emitting a lot of what they call rf. Yeah. Okay, Travis. Well, thank you very much. We certainly appreciate you listening. I hope that the radio coming through your fan is from this show.

Bob (12:31)

Strange.

Chris (12:32)

We certainly appreciate your listening. Now, who else has a letter?

Bob (12:37)

Dear Bob, at Top show last fall, my wife and I visited CVS on Sanibel Island, Florida. To our surprise, as you said, Tom, no one was working in the store. There were other shoppers all the way back in the pharmacy. Tom is not the only one to experience this strange phenomenon.

Christy (12:58)

No, it's. It's an epidemic.

Bob (12:59)

That's Mike and Louisville.

Chris (13:01)

Yeah. You have to look around, find somebody. That's the beauty, though, of self checkout.

Bob (13:05)

Sure.

Chris (13:05)

I just hope they're not getting. Hope they're not getting ripped off.

Christy (13:09)

Well, it's their own fault. Well, have an employee up there.

Chris (13:12)

Yeah, but I mean, it's. Don't be dishonest.

Bob (13:15)

I mean, I can't.

Tom (13:16)

Dishonest?

Bob (13:17)

Can you imagine trying to have some, you know, build a workforce at a CVS and trying to get everybody there on time and scheduling and I'd go mad.

Chris (13:25)

Yeah. That's why you have this job.

Bob (13:27)

Yeah.

Chris (13:28)

Pat, have you been able to.

Pat (13:29)

I will have to listen to it during the day.

Bob (13:31)

Oh, okay. All right.

Tom (13:32)

I have a letter. That's.

Bob (13:33)

What are you, Prince? Come on, let's hear this.

Tom (13:35)

This is from Susan in Des Moines, Iowa. She said, I really love when you guys go totally off script. I laughed and laughed all day at work today, listening and watching your show. Tom, you were hilarious when you wouldn't stop saying ridiculous jokes about Pat and his unfunny lobster bisque Easter bisque joke. And she puts a question mark.

Chris (13:55)

Well, we were just, uh huh. Suffering through.

Tom (14:00)

But Chicken Josh, making fun of Tom was hilarious. Thank you.

Bob (14:05)

We weren't making fun of him.

Christy (14:07)

Having fun with. Yes.

Bob (14:10)

It's always in awe.

Christy (14:13)

Proper respect for show.

Bob (14:15)

Yes, sir.

Chris (14:16)

Oh, boy.

Bob (14:17)

He's the man.

Chris (14:18)

I'm sure this is a common event. This comes to us from Sarah in Wisconsin. Morning, friends. My family went to visit our grandmother. She was delighted to break out her foot massager that he. Excuse me. That she had purchased at a garage sale.

Frank Caliendo (14:34)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Bob (14:37)

A used foot massager?

Tom (14:38)

Is that what it was?

Chris (14:40)

No, she was showing it off. Of course it was a dildo.

Tom (14:43)

Of course,

Chris (14:46)

Grammy wasn't aware of that. Now, Patty G, are you ready with this? Yeah, I think I can do it. We. We had a letter from Buford, Georgia, not too far from Cumming, Georgia. Cumming, Georgia. And it said C U M M I N G. Right?

Tom (14:59)

Yeah, that's right.

Chris (14:59)

And we have an interesting news story about a gentleman who was.

Tom (15:02)

Naked guy. Right.

Chris (15:03)

Arrested on a porch naked. And I guess it wasn't the first time. Do you know the tune at this point? You got it?

Christy (15:09)

I do. Yeah.

Pat (15:09)

I'm ready to go. Oh, there's a man from a town called Cumming. He's walking in your backyard nude. Try and stop the man from coming. He's gonna do something lewd. He came on your porch and left a present. They got it on video caught in the actual. The coming man. Now off to Jail he goes. They finally stopped the man from coming. He put on quite a show. They cuffed his hands and stopped the man from coming. Now he just can't come and go.

Chris (15:40)

Oh, thank you very much.

Christy (15:41)

The ballad of the man come coming. Yeah. The ballot of the coming man.

Chris (15:46)

That's from the Forsyth Herald, by the way. He was arrested and charged with trespassing naked through his neighbor's backyard. Turned himself into authorities, by the way. Finally, there's a lot to this and a lot of nudity in crime lately. I think this must be have something to do with some of the drugs that are floating around out there now.

Bob (16:07)

They make you want to take your clothes off, I guess.

Chris (16:10)

Yeah, apparently.

Bob (16:12)

Yeah, yeah.

Chris (16:13)

Especially certain crimes we've had involving meth. There's, there's, there's a lot of nudity. We have. We had an interesting story yesterday about a flying trapeze story that's going around and it turns out this is one of those things floating around the Internet that is in fact, not true.

Tom (16:35)

Right?

Bob (16:35)

It did not happen.

Chris (16:36)

It did not happen. But you may have seen the story. It was, it's been widely circulated. There's a photograph, the whole thing. According to this news account, the most recent iteration of the story claims that an Italian aerialist performing on a trapeze experienced stomach issues and had diarrhea during his act and quote, showered 23 people watching from below.

Pat (17:03)

Is this the crappies artist?

Christy (17:04)

Yes, it is.

Chris (17:05)

Yes, yes. And.

Bob (17:06)

Oh, hey, hey, wait a minute. That was a little joke there.

Chris (17:12)

Now, as my understanding, Pat, you've written a song about this gentleman.

Pat (17:19)

He floats through the air with the greatest of ease. The daring young man with the flying feces.

Bob (17:29)

Very nice.

Pat (17:31)

How droll.

Bob (17:34)

But again, oh, play the poop song

Chris (17:37)

if you, if you run across this story.

Bob (17:39)

Fake, fake.

Chris (17:40)

Did not happen.

Christopher (17:42)

That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play and stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra, this is Christopher. Take care, everybody.

Chris (17:53)

Hi, I'm Joe Salsihai, host of the Stacking Benjamin's podcast.

Christy (17:56)

Most economists agree small amount of inflation is actually good. 2% is what you're going for. Why is everybody freaking out?

Chris (18:03)

Oh, because it's the fallout. People don't track their budget.

Pat (18:06)

You have this slow slipping that happens every month. So all of a sudden you go,

Christopher (18:10)

man, I don't have any money.

Pat (18:11)

The reason is now two people go to a restaurant, the bill is 60 bucks for two.

Chris (18:15)

Two guys walk into a restaurant, they start screaming.

Christy (18:17)

Isn't that hilarious?

Chris (18:18)

$60. Stacking Benjamins follow and listen on your favorite platform.