Christopher (0:01)

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The code is BobandTom50OFF@factormeals.com BobandTom50OFF for 50% off plus free shipping. And now the Bob and Tom show presents the only radio show of its kind devoted to the lifestyle. That is the bass guitar with your host, Mark Christopher Roman. Bass Tom the Bass Talk Show Marcus, you got something for us today. There was this bass player. He was sitting in a bar just getting really, really drunk. He was mad at the world. He had been fired from his latest job. Mad at everyone. Just angry drinking. So he leaves the bar. He's very, very drunk. He's walking down the street. And across the street is a nun walking the other direction. Well, bass player runs across the street, knocks her down and just starts kicking her and hitting her and going crazy. A drunk bass player. A drunk bass player. And he looks down and says, you're not so tough now, are you, Bat? This is why we get mail. That's it for our show. If you missed something yesterday, maybe you'll hear it now. This is Bob and Tom, Extra special guest, Frank Caliendo. I'm Chick, and I have a bone to pick, I think, with Tom. Let me just do. So I got to do a proper plug. All right. It's frankonstage.com to get tickets to this club tour that Frank is doing. I'm so sorry. I keep forgetting the name of it. Did you. What? Spray something like. Did you Febreze? Okay, whoever did. I did. I did. I did the lobby. Oh, you did the building. You made it worse. Wow. I don't know what the ventilation is, but like, like I said, the popcorn smell came up all the way up here from the back of the building. Now we need to explain. Ace burned the popcorn. So the building stinks. Well, no, that's not true. Ace did not burn the popcorn. Microwave did. The microwave burned the popcorn. Okay. He, he, he followed the recipe. Yeah, I. Can I smell the perfume now? Yeah. I would have preferred the popcorn. Sorry. Well, dissipating, but. And then he took the popcorn out. I watched him because I thought he was leaving. I go, are you leaving already? And he goes, no, he had an incident. I burned my breakfast popcorn. Yeah. Taking it out to the dumpster. Now, Frank, to underscore stereotypes, which is one of my favorite things, you're of Italian heritage. Do you wear a lot of cologne? No, but my son, who's more Italian than me, definitely does. I'm only half Italian. My son's three quarters because my wife is fully Italian. And I will get in his car and it's like he's there with me. I gotta move his car in the driveway or something like. Joey, are you a rat? Where are you? I'm over here, dad. Everything's fine. Don't worry about it. Where'd your neck go? What's happening? The more Italian you get, the higher the shoulders get. And that's my brother in law, Frank. How's it going? Is everything all right? You look good. You look good. What are you trying to listen to? Your shoulders. What are you doing? You don't Even need ear muffs. That's a great thing. Natural selection in Italy. I didn't know it was so cold going out here. Now, Frank, we'd like to challenge you. Okay. Rather than have any prepared material, we. I like to present you with something. And today I thought we would go back to one of the. One of the classics from the world of baseball. Of course. I'm talking about the Take Me out to the Ball Game. No, no, that would be too easy. Holy cow, that would be easy. One of the great poems of all time. I'm sure you're familiar with Ernest Lawrence Thayer ELT man. The. The Harvard. Tremendous job. The Harvard man who put the E's in Casey's Manor, I believe is the name of the essay. Casey at the Bat, of course. Never heard of that until you brought it up once. You've never heard of Casey at the Bath? Never heard of it. Really? No. There is no joy in Mudville. I don't know. I. Honest to God, I'd never heard of it. Yeah, I said. Some of your MILF friends probably have said to their boyfriends after a certain thing, hey, there's no joy in Mudville. But that's a different. I think with this. I think it was. We've set a new record for reference on this show. Casey at the bat was from 1888. No, it's the most famous baseball poem ever. Congratulations. You've heard of it, right, Ace? Yeah, of course. It's the most famous baseball poem ever. Yes. And there's a lot of baseball programs. There's a tremendous amount of baseball poems. And this is the best one. And no better way to celebrate March Madness, the biggest basketball game of the year, than to talk baseball. Than to talk baseball. Well, okay. Is there. Is there a good. Exactly. Right. Is there a good basketball poem? I don't know. We could know. Nipsey Russell maybe has. Here's an idea. Or we could just talk to Frank. No, that's unreasonable. This is like I'm at home, everybody fighting around me. Frank come in here. Just do his thing. We could sneak into it organically. No, no, no. Forced viability. That's the key. I don't know. Just the corner of spontaneous and behavior now where. See, no, the spontaneity comes in here because I'm going to shout out. Because we're all going to kill you. You can shout out various. Various names of famous people that Frank does his impressions. So the opposite of spontaneous, it's me telling you what to do? No, but it's spontaneous for Frank. Because he has to switch gears and do it. This may fail. I. We did one that did fail, and I thought it was over, but now we're back in, baby. We did that one. That was viral. Yeah. The Piano Man. The Piano Man. And then it was. We're back at it. Here we go. I'm ready. Ready, Franklin. Okay, once again, this is a Casey. Change them quickly. Change them quickly, because some of them are not that good. Wait a minute. You said this is Casey at the Bat. First, walk me through what a poem is. Maybe you should describe. This has some tricky rhymes. I think we should shout out voices. We don't know if that'd be funny. That would be a showstopper. I'll do that at the end of my shows. I'll ask people you can send. If you came here to listen to me do something specific, and I didn't get to it because I've been explaining too much as Morgan Freeman or doing too much Trump or wandering around too much as Joe Biden. Throw it out. But it has to be somebody that I do because I'm more of a magician than a wizard. These things are card tricks. You have to get the work over and over and over. And it takes a ton of repetition. I can't just conjure up something I've never done. And then there'll be like three or four that I do like, you know, major ones. And then there's. I don't do Robin Williams in the show because it gets an aww. Oh, my goodness. You knew we weren't even gonna try it. We miss our favorite birds. That's exactly what it is. Patch Adams couldn't save me, so I did. But when people call it out, for some reason, there isn't as much of an awe. They like it. If I were to present it myself, people get like that. Oh, he's doing that. But when somebody else. But then there will be a bunch of people that I never even thought fathomed doing. And then there's like a Spiro Agnew. And I'm like, I don't know. All right, April Harriman. We'll do what we do. You were at his show. I think there are some Tom people. Yeah, there are quite a few. We'll just shout out the ones we know. You know? Yeah, that's the best way to do it. How about Leonard Moulton? Glenn Close. Glenn Close. Michelle Pfeiffer. Can you do it? Possible. A lot of those. I'd love to, but I. Judy Garland on her deathbed. My Aunt Nancy. Now do you, do you want the music or do you want to do it to acapella? I don't care. This thing's. This thing's doomed. So this is gonna be great. I love doing it. I love trying to. I love trying to dig myself out of. Okay, here we go. Josh, do you want to start the rotation? Oh no. Okay, just let Frank. Really spontaneous. Wait a second. Josh is one of the people I know, one of the wittiest people I've ever met who always has something and you blank there. No, I didn't blank. I chose to go. Okay. Okay. I say we start with someone who's been in the news lately. As if it's okay with you. Ladies and gentlemen, reading Casey at the Bat, we have Tracy Morgan. Oh, that's crazy. I was gonna barf this thing out myself. The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Mudville nine that day. Just like the outlook wasn't brilliant. Uh huh. For that food poison I had. That went away. It did go away. See what I did there? I rhymed it. That's crazy. I said switch em fast and Tom didn't get that part. William Shatner. Yes. Jeff Goldblum and William Shatner. The score stood 4 2, but with one inning left to play. And then with Cooney died at first and Barrows did the same. They Paul like silence fell upon the patron. Donald Trump. The straggling. Not the straggling, a straggling. Very different. Got up to go in deep despair. The rest clung to the hope which springs eternal. All right, this is the problem. No one knows this. A lot of. Quite frankly, there's a lot of words in this I would never say. Well, it's from 1888. Everyone's familiar with Casey the Bat, but not this familiar. There's a tremendous amount of people that are. Right now is probably the best baseball program poem. I. What do I say? Program? I can't say poem. It's the best baseball poem in the history of probably history. Okay, why don't you skip to where there's already. Guys. Two guys have. There's two strikes. Oh my. Bottom of the ninth mess. Ready? That would be the last page probably. Yes. So you're kind of. You're kind of going in like Elon Musk and cleaning it up right now. That's what you're doing. Yes, yes. Go to write five things down that you're Biden. We go from Trump to folks. Come on. What are we doing folks? Young man, go to where the sneer is gone from Casey's lip now. Casey's serious. I don't have AI. I can't just. Do you think I have a 10 lines from the bottom? I have never heard you ruin anything more effectively in your life. This could go viral for all the wrong reasons. That's what could happen here. No, no, don't worry, it won't. Are we still in Biden, folks? Come on. Come on, folks. The way they look good, sir. We're still in here. Joe, over here. Joe. Joe. Mr. He's still. Mr. President. You got to call. Mr. President. Mr. President. Mr. Biden. Oh, boy. Mr. Biden. He's out in the hallway now. Okay, very good. Down the hallway. Okay, have a seat. There we go. Okay, Joe Biden is back. Line 10, Joe. Well, no, I think. I think now we're greeting. No, that was that. That's the big laugh you're supposed to go out on. Yeah, okay. Sorry, sorry. Okay. And somewhere men are laughing. And somewhere children shout, but there is no joy in Mudville. This bit has just struck up and you didn't want to do it. Thank you very much, Frank Caliendo, ladies and gentlemen. I declare that a success. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. He really did a lot of laughs. We had a good time. A lot of laughs. We had a good time. That's better than what was going on before it, guys. Exactly. Okay, go back to Christy Lee. What have we missed in the world of news? Christy Lee. U.S. customs officers in Indianapolis intercepted counterfeit Botox shipments. Counterfeit. Counterfeit. I like that. According to the agency, three of the four packages came from Great Britain and were manifested as marketing product samples, while one from Indonesia was labeled as cosmetic preparations. $8,500 worth of counterfeit Botox was apprehended. We've had a bunch of stories about this fake Botox. Is it just. Is it really Botox but like watered down or not? I don't know. FDA approved. I would never ever do that. That's not my thing. But it was labeled Cosmetic Preparations. Wasn't the name of your high school band. It was Cosmetic Preparations. I played bass. Well, have you ever had the Botox? No. I don't like needles. You know that I read an article about. They said that some of it is actually watered down. I mean, I would make sense. I've never had that either. What was Botox invented for? For migraines. Botulism. Yeah, they do too use it to treat it. It's poison, right? Wasn't that the famous vichyswa soup or something? Botulism. Yeah. So they're doing fake face poison. That's what people are doing. Well, I think what they're doing is they're selling a vial of Botox. Let's say it goes for $120. They water it down and still sell it to you for $120. But they are making more money because they can make more vials. But we had the thing about. Men were putting Botox into their male members. Yes. I haven't heard about that at all. Really? You might have been gone. That. It was just a couple weeks ago. How would that help in any way? I think it straightens the wrinkles in your sac. Oh, it was in the saccular area? I think so, yeah. Is there anybody who actually gets that good a look at their junk on a weekly basis, Monthly basis? Does anyone care that much? Everyone knows it's there and you scrub it. But your scrote's gonna scrote. Yeah. Yeah, it's gotta scrote. I mean, it's not a beauty contest, is it? I mean, there might be a ball competition out there. Oh, really? Boy, here he is. Absolutely. Mr. Smooth Ball Soccer. Every Thursday, it's amateur ball night at the Ramrod. Language. Getting a Mr. Testicle. I like the more subtle. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. That is more subtle. Yeah. Oh, you heard it? Yeah, they are. It's being done according to this news account. But I know we had this story. I didn't give it to you because I thought it was fake. But then I heard it again on the national news the other day. You see, this thing about the comedy club in Britain supposedly is banning audience members who have used Botox on their face. No, that can't be. I saw that. You see this article? And how do you know someone's had Botox? Well, what's the idea? It says a comedy club in Britain is banning audience members with Botox due to. Who's this? Yeah, this is bs. It's to get people to talk about it. It has to be. What are they saying? That the people, they can't laugh. Botox can't laugh. They can't move their faces. Okay. Jesus. It took us 20 minutes to get to why they kept interrupting me. Yeah, I did. Club owner Mark Ross. You wait. Anybody want to hear them? Anybody want to hear the middle of Casey at the back? Because I never heard it before. What is that line? Line six to line ten. Yeah. The club owner says, I've had numerous complaints from performers who find it increasingly challenging to gauge audience engagement and have it bounce off. This is complete the only way you can tell if somebody. Just by looking. I mean, you think you can, but you can. Okay. Judge someone. Like, in any event, maybe they're just. They're sour. Watch out for the fake. Whatever it is. Scrotox they call it. They really do call it Scrotox for the. Right, right. Okay. Yeah, yeah. The doctor. And they have to inject it down there. So can you mention that? The doctor goes, you're gonna feel a small prick. So are you, Doc. But let's move forward. We have an update on Rogaine making a comeback as a hair loss pill under its generic name Minoxidil. Back in the 90s, you'll remember the ads for Rogaine, the topical solution that purported to help treat thinning hair when applied to the scalp. But now dermatologists have increasingly been prescribing the drug Minoxidil in low dose pills to help men and women maintain or regrow hair. The practice follows several recent studies suggesting the ingredient works as well, or possibly better when swallowed rather than applied to hair follicles on the head. I heard on Joe Rogan's podcast. Did you? It was great. Yeah, he's. Jamie, pull up that hair. Oh, my God. That's effing nuts. That's pretty easy. Very good. I think we have time to do something very special for Frank. Okay. I don't think Frank is aware of this. There is an art form that apparently is long gone called called diddling uncomfortable. No, no, no, no. This is. I think you're gonna like this a lot. Yeah, this is. This is a recording from 1974. This was a competition in the UK. You are the most accidentally funny person ever. We. We tell him that every day. And he still just be super. Just be as serious as you can be. He still tries to prepare the hell out of it. And that's not the funny part. Oh, is it Scotland? I'm sorry. This is. This is real. Is this me? Should I do this? Okay, here's the diddling champion, this guy on stage, and there's an audience there listening. It sounds like an audience of one or two. Really. Got to be quiet for the diddling. Do we have the video? Oh, Jason's looking for it. It is. You have to see it. So funny. And. And they have BBC commentators covering it on television. This was. This was a real competition because it sounds like an American cartoon. It did not sound. And it's probably tougher than you think, but that was. Didn't sound like it was difficult at all. Something anybody could do. That's exactly what we said. We all did it all. Yeah, I'm doing this. Charles Barkley. There's how would Shatner do it? That's it for another Bob and Tom show. Extra. Catch us on itunes, Google play and stitcher for Bob and Tom. Extra. This is Christopher. Take care, everybody. Former MLB all star Sean Casey, AKA the mayor, keeps hitting it out of the park. Take my 30 years of experience. Take the wisdom and knowledge I've learned from the failures when I got sent down my rookie year, all the injuries I had to overcome. Your mind is the most important tool you have in life. Be relentless. Keep charging. It matters how you talk to yourself, how you look at the world. That matters. We talk about that. I don't know. I'm fired up. Baseball's back and it's going to be incredible. I love it. The mayor's office with Sean Casey from Believe. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.